King Koopa's Spitfire
by R.I.P. Lynn
Summary: A villain is a hero of the other side. She's not his Princess, just a commoner. An accidental pawn to be used to Bowser's advantage in his wicked games. She means little more than any other minion to him. And yet, she shines a warm light in the Dark Land of the Koopas that can't help but be enjoyed by all. The Princess is in another castle...But maybe for once, that's a good thing.
1. Kidnapping Confusion

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

In a land far beyond human imagination, lies a magical place called the Mushroom Kingdom. The Mushroom Kingdom is always sunny, and food is plentiful year round. The Kingdom was ruled by the gentle and peace-loving Mushroom King and his daughter, Princess Toadstool. The Mushroom people were living peacefully, and all was bliss.

Then one dark day a tribe of evil turtles named 'Koopa' led by the tyrannical King Bowser invaded the tranquil Kingdom. There was a terrible war. The Mushroom people fought courageously but were no match for the vicious turtles. They were easily defeated by the Turtle Tribe, and horrible Bowser's black magic turned all the Mushroom people into stones, bricks and even horsehair plants.

Princess Toadstool, the only one with the power to free the Kingdom from the evil of Bowser, was captured and exiled to a deep dungeon in a faraway castle. Mario, a man of courage and determination, heard of the awful fate of the Mushroom people. He decided to save the fair Princess and free the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom from the evil control of Bowser.

This is where legend ends, and history begins. After traveling through various parts of the kingdom and fighting Bowser's forces along the way, Mario finally reaches Bowser's final stronghold, where he is able to defeat him and send him falling into a pool of lava, allowing the princess to be freed and the Mushroom Kingdom saved. A happy ending all around...well...maybe not.

There are many kingdoms in this world I live in. I think around 60 last I checked. The one I reside in is famous but for a stupid reason...Our Princess keeps getting abducted like a freaking moron!

The Mushroom Kingdom is one of the largest kingdoms and is under the rule of Mushroom King and his daughter, Princess Peach Toadstool. The Mushroom Kingdom is known to change its landscape, not keeping the same formation from one year to another. Despite this, the kingdom is comprised of many similar recurring landscapes, such as plains, deserts, islands, forests, mountains, snowy areas and volcanoes.

But despite this, the kingdom prospers. The people seem blissfully happy. The Mushroom Kingdom's population is very vast, consisting of hundreds of species. Most prevalent are Toads, Koopas, Goombas, Yoshies, Boos and so much more. Even though Princess Peach, and the heroic Mario Brothers who also live here, are human, there are very few humans living in the Mushroom Kingdom...Me being one of the few.

The Mushroom Kingdom is a monarchy ruled by Princess Peach. The kingdom's capital is Toad Town. Here, Princess Peach resides in her fancy swanky castle. The Early material also includes her father, the kindly Mushroom King, who is mentioned to rule alongside her. However, he does not seem to perform any administrative functions anymore, and his presence is largely forgotten by most.

Princess Peach, the 6'1'' tall princess of Mushroom Kingdom and professional damsel-in-distress. She resides in her castle along with many Toads, who act as her loyal servants. Her kingdom is often attacked by the Koopa Troop, a group led by Bowser. She is the love interest of the hero Mario. Peach has an affinity for the color pink, which accents her feminine personality and kind temperament. Peach's feminine nature and role as the damsel are often represented with her heart abilities and Princess emblems, yet she is stubborn, yet cute, in appearance. But that's just what I hear guys say.

Princess Peach keeps a hoard of Toad guards at her castle, not like they're all that helpful in keeping her from being taken like, every freaking month! However, Mario, Luigi, and many other heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom have fought to save it and its princess countless times before...I'm honestly surprised no one has just let her go because clearly she never learns to lock her castle up!

Mario is the 5'1'' tall hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, his trademark abilities have been his jumping and stomping powers, with which he defeats most of his enemies; and his ability to gain powers with a plethora of items, such as the Super Mushroom, Fire Flower, and the Super Star. Mario is often seen as a silent man without a distinct personality, this allows Mario to fit in many different areas and roles. He is the hero that goes on an adventure to save Princess Peach from Bowser, but he has been shown doing many other activities besides adventuring, such as racing and sporting with his younger twin brother and others.

Luigi is Mario's younger taller 5'9'' twin brother and is also a hero to the Mushroom Kingdom. Throughout his life, he has lived in Mario's shadow, developing both cowardly and heroic tendencies. Despite this, Luigi has helped and fought alongside his brother on many occasions. Since the Princess mostly calls on Mario for help, Luigi has gained his own identity and personality. This is especially noticeable in writes of his solo adventures.

Currently, Princess Peach staffs and supports Toad Houses in major towns near Toad Town. Which is why I live away from there in Petal Meadows. I want nothing to do with matters of the crown. It's bad enough my mind has me constantly with my nose in a book, feed my brain with knowledge of the kingdom and others, but being human in a low human area makes me stick out like a zebra among fish.

I just want to live out my days in peaceful isolation. Away from the zaniness of the world. Away from the greed of the coin. Away from the wars for territories. I'm fine with my mundane life. I'm fine with the cool breeze filling my life with the soft smell of fresh flowers every time I wake. I'm fine with the white noise of the night lulling me to sleep. My life is as dull as it can be in this world. But I am happy.

Yet...All of this peace in my life is missing something.

And I had no clue what it was till something crazy happened one odd day.

Today the wind is still. The scent of flowers is missing. And I am irritable as I am out of food.

"Great. Guess it's that time of the month again. *sighs* Time to go grocery shopping."

This means I have to head into Toad Town, which I'm not a fan of doing. Goombas and Flying Goombas always give me looks or try to attack me. Really makes me consider moving to another kingdom to stop dealing with this kind of crap. You'd think since the royal family is human and the 'heroes' are human, the damn people around them would be more okay with seeing other humans.

I should be near the town now. It doesn't take long once I can get to the right warp pipe, 20 minutes tops on a good day. It takes about three to four warps to get to town, not too crazy as long as you don't forget which pipe goes where, but it beats walking the entire way. Now that would be nuts!

I pop up at the edge of the woods just outside of town and I'm already exhausted from having to defend myself.

"I bet humans would get more respect if the princess wasn't so stupid. 'Oh look at me, I'm Princess Peach. I like the color pink and all I do is bake cakes for Mario. I'm too spoiled to learn from anything that's happened to me or maybe I would have more guards. Or learn how to lock my doors. Ooh, la la. I'm so pretty. I'm set for life because everyone does anything for a pretty face.' *scoffs* I'd attack me too if I were them. This land is a joke."

I'm just about to enter the town.

"Hey, Princess!"

I pause and look around. Is Peach or some other royal chick nearby?

"Get her!"

Before I can even register what the hell is going on, a red shell hits me into the bushes away from town.

"Ow..."

I'm going to be feeling that later, but for now I'm blacking out as a sack smothers me.

"Score! I can't believe we got the Princess on our first day."

"The King will be so pleased. I bet we get promotions for sure."

"Yeah. Let's get going."

I feel movement as all goes dark.

[Sometime later]

Loud metal clanging stirs me from unconsciousness. My side and head throbbing from pain. All in all...I am not a happy girl right now. Even more so, I see I'm still bagged in a sack. As soon as these would be abductors come to a stop, I'm going to unleash a very relentless hurt on them.

"Where have you two been?! You were supposed to be on guard duty! The King will have your shells for this!"

"Forgiveness sir. But we think he'll be happy once he sees what we got.

"Please...Last fools who brought the Koopa King a large bag were set ablaze."

Koopa King? Oh crap, I know where I am now. This is not good. I've been brought to the Koopa Kingdom. The Dark Lands. The main home to the Koopa people. Koopas are a race of turtle-like creatures. There are many different types of Koopas, the best-known of which are the Koopa Troopas.

Koopa Troopas are tortoise-like creatures with removable shells. In general, they have basic appearances compared to other Koopa species. They have elliptical beady eyes, large beak or bill-like mouths, short limbs and large heads. Their hands have four, pointed/triangular shaped digits and have three pointed toes on their flat-soled feet, which unlike other Koopa species, have no pads at all. Most Koopas are quadrupedal (walking on four legs), have flatter noses and detailed leg joints. They have since evolved to now stand on two legs, have more rounded noses and wear shoes with beige soles that often match the color of the shells they wear. Having beaks, Koopas Troopas have no teeth compared to other species. Koopa Troopas generally have yellow to orange scales. Some Koopas can have green, peach and even turquoise scales. A Koopa Troopa's shell consists of a carapace with colored, hexagon-shaped scutes in a pattern on the top, with smaller, triangular ones at the edges, with dark flesh underneath that appear as "grooves"; a beige colored plaston with several "ribs" on its surface and six holes on it where the Koopa's head, arms, legs and tail emerge from; all joined by a white bridge that follows along the perimeter of the shell and rises at the spots where the Koopa's head and tail are. Despite having large heads, Koopa Troopas can pull them into their shells with little effort. Underneath their shells, they wear white undershirts and wear pink or blue shorts respectively, and have round bodies.

Most Koopas seem to operate in a hierarchy-based grouping system. King Koopa Bowser is the leader of the Koopa Troop, which has invaded the Mushroom Kingdom many times and has control over most of the Koopas in the world. Many of these same Koopas are members of the Koopa Troop and have different tasks in the organization based on the abilities of their particular class. For example, Koopa Troopas tend to be assigned as basic foot soldiers alongside Goombas due to their lack of special abilities, while Magikoopas are often given advisory roles due to their magical abilities and gift of foresight.

However, not all Koopas are allied with Bowser. Some Koopas, such as the Koopa Troopas of Koopa Village, live peacefully inside the borders of the Mushroom Kingdom, while others, such as Koopa the Quick, simply hold no allegiance and operate independently.

"But sir Kamek, we bring the Princess."

There's silence.

"You two managed to capture Princess Peach?"

"Yes, sir. We found her at Toad Town."

"That...sounds likely. Very well. Go. Bring her to the King at once."

"Yes, sir!"

The bag containing me is dragged further into what I bet is a castle based on the stone I feel under me. Though that hard feeling is replaced with a softness that doesn't last long for the movement stops again and a deep low growl has me worried.

"What do you two want?"

Such a rumble...very predatory and intimidating.

"*gulp* Y-Your scaliness...We have...uh..."

"Spit it out!"

"We caught Princess Peach sir!"

Wow, they are really scared...I should be too, yet all I am is worried...The heck is wrong with me?

"Really?"

The King sounds happy...That'll change as soon as they show me and not Peach.

There's a harsh shake of the ground as I assume the King bounds towards the bag. An almost giddy delight comes from him as he opens the bag and I come face to face with the King of the Koopas, Bowser. And any joy he had dies upon seeing me.

Bowser is a huge 8'7'' tall burly green-shelled Koopa with spikes, horns, and hair. His bushy eyebrows and mane are fittingly a bright fiery red-orange and he has bright ember red eyes. He sports two small horns on the sides of his head like a demon, many spikes on his shell similar to a Spiny with brown-orange spike-rings, as well as along his tail minus the spike-rings. He wears several spiked collars around his neck and arms. He has three claws on each of his massive padded feet, which support his impressive girth. He has three claw-tipped fingers and a thumb on each hand, and his arms are noticeably burly, indicating his vast physical strength. While his face and his shell are green, his underbelly and snout are beige colored almost closer to tan or even yellow, and his tail and limbs are an orange-tinged yellow.

Bowser's appearance is almost like a combination of the many species of Koopa, including Koopa Troopas, Spinies, and Hammer Bros all put together. But he is nothing like them or anything else that has graced this world. He is the King of Koopas, he has no equal, and he is to be respected as such.

"Is this a joke?"

He drops the sack and I am fully revealed, much to the confusion of the two kidnapping Koopa Troopas.

"Sir?"

"What's wrong?"

"This is not Peach!"

They tremble.

"But...She's human."

"And she responded when we called her name."

"To be fair..."

I don't know why I speak up, but I do.

"I thought you were calling out to a 'Princess' and not me directly. I was going to move out of the way as is the custom and polite thing to do."

The King snarls with building annoyance and picks me up by the scruff of my neck.

"You two idiots thought this...this girl...was Princess Peach?! She looks nothing like her! Peach is a fair-skinned woman with an average build. She has a soft oval face with large blue eyes framed by multiple lashes and thin, dark blonde eyebrows. She has long flowing golden-blonde hair with both V-shaped and fringed bangs, and a single two thin locks framing her face. Peach also wears a floor-length pink gown with puffy sleeves, a high collar, deep pink panniers at the waist and a ruffle of the same color at the hem. The dress has a sapphire brooch, set in gold on Peach's chest, and she wears round earrings of the same color. Her crown is golden with four jewels: two rubies and two sapphires. She wears white evening gloves beyond elbow-length, deep pink high heels, and has a white petticoat under her gown. Now knowing all that...Does this girl look like the woman I just described to you?!"

I feel annoyed by his tone. Sure I'm not the pretty Princess he wanted, but I ain't no gutter trash.

I'm a pale-skinned woman with an average build and stand at 5'8'' tall. I have a slightly rounded face with hazel-green eyes surrounded by light blue baggy rings with each eye having two thick lashes on the side. I have really long flowing brown hair that I wear tied up in a ponytail that reaches my mid-back. I dress in a simple black t-shirt top and blue jeans with worn faded white sneakers. Two surgical stainless steel captive earrings in each earlobe complete my look.

I am ordinary, not a Princess, but I am me and I like myself.

"Honestly sir...N-No...?"

"We really didn't know what she looked like when we left."

The King of Koopas shoots them a fiery glare.

"Get out before I throw you two into the lava to feed the Magmaargh...NOW!"

The Troopas flee clumsily, crashing into each other and things before leaving the room.

"*sighs* I'm surrounded by morons."

"Tell me about it..."

King Bowser looks at me funny, seemingly forgetting he was holding me or that I was here anyway.

"I honestly have no clue how you haven't taken over the Mushroom Kingdom by now. The land is full of brain-dead dolts that are ruled by a ditzy royal that can't take care of herself. Heh...Mario can't be that big of a threat to you, can he?"

I regret saying anything. His death glare now on me, smoke leaks from his nostrils as cinders pepper the corners of his mouth.

"What did you just call my Peach?"

Okay, I need to be extremely cautious now, I don't want to die.

"I mean...Speaking as a lowly commoner, one who knows not the Princess on a personal level, as one such as you yourself of course does. I merely meant that those around her do not paint her in a very bright light, so to speak."

His eyes narrow, the fire in his throat subsides but the anger is still there.

"You talk like her. Using big pretty words. So let me put this in a way that even you will understand. *growls* Princess Peach is classy, kind, clever, sociable and adventurous. She has a warm heart and often acts unselfishly, putting her friends, loved ones and citizens ahead of herself, and apologizes excessively for getting into trouble and requiring Mario to rescue her. She even shows concern and compassion towards her enemies. She even often acts as a peacemaker when my Koopas fight in front of her. While gentle by nature, Peach is also strong-willed and can hold her own in sports competitions and battle provided she is not already being held captive by yours truly."

He has such a proud voice about that and I can't help but giggle at it, which seems to smooth him over a bit as he continues.

"But while Peach is often considered the archetypal damsel in distress when it comes to this, she is often showed to be actively working against her captors, such as sneaking around searching for power-ups and/or information to send to Mario."

"You allow her the ability to move around your home freely even though she is your captive?"

The realization comes from having that part pointed out to him and he blushes faintly while clearing his throat.

"*ahem* Be that as it may...While she occasionally seems naïve, she is generally level-headed and expresses more common sense than those around her, such as noticing a doppelganger in the Isle Delfino vacation guide video's background, or insisting that an emergency meeting continues even after it is briefly interrupted by me, and talking me into joining her and Mario to stop some other loser from taking over what is rightfully mine. She is a motherly figure to the young Yoshi and Oogtar, she is practical and generous to a fault, such as trying to convince the Mario Bros to return home despite the fact that she is still under the threat of *cough* me. She also has a feisty side, which shines through particularly well in certain moments. Besides sports, Peach is also into ballroom dancing, video games, and gardening, and seems to enjoy exploring and trying new things. Now does that sound like a ditz to you?"

I hang my head in shame.

"No, sir. I am sorry my words were so callous. Please accept my dearest of apologies."

He regards me for a moment, giving thought before smirking.

"No."

I am confused.

"No?"

"I will not accept an apology of words from someone who knows how to use them as well as you do. No...If you are truly sorry, you'll have to earn my forgiveness. And your freedom."

He drops me and I stumble upon landing.

"Wait...What do you mean my freedom? I'm not the Princess, I'm no form of royalty what so ever. I hold no value to you. Heck, as much of a hero those plumber brothers are, I doubt they'll even bother showing up here to rescue some peasant girl. Why not just let me go? All I'll do is take up space here."

He chuckles and turns his back to me, heading back to his massive spiked stone throne.

"While that's true, you can still earn my forgiveness as well as adding some tiny speck of value to your sad little self."

I fain a hit.

"Oh ow, my poor self-worth pride. You strike me so cruelly, oh master of turtles."

That makes him stop and stare at me.

"What?"

"You heard me. Or do your horns deafen your ears?"

To that he snickers and I internally question why I'm suddenly so bold around him.

"Cheeky little spitfire you are. I like that. You'll need that sort of spirit for living here."

He plops himself down on his throne in a relaxed pose, slightly laying in it with a leg over an armrest.

"I'm not living here."

"Yes, you are."

"Make me."

"I already am."

"I'll run."

"Where to? I doubt you know the lay of the Koopa Kingdom lands as well as my people or I do."

"I'll find a warp pipe. Or a warp whistle. Or even some sort of power-up that allows flight, but I will flee."

"And I will stop you."

I glare as he smirks.

"You're just eating this up, aren't you?"

"Like it was my favorite meal. Now be a good girl and accept your fate. I have a job for you to do."

I fold my arms and slowly lurch my way over to a decent closeness from his lazy self.

"And what pray tell would that be, oh King Koopa?"

"Heh heh...I want you to take care of my boy, Bowser Jr."

I'm dead-panned.

"I don't deal with children."

"The way I see it, neither of us have much of a choice. His last caretaker literally jumped out a window to get away and as much as I do want to, I can't spend all my time with him."

"How far did they make it out the window?"

"Not far enough."

"Heh...Nice."

"Here's the deal. You take care of Jr. for a month, or till a better replacement is found, and I'll consider it as your apology for speaking ill of my Peach. Refuse or do anything that will make me or my son upset, and I'll feed you to my Chain Chomp. Understand?"

I sigh and glare daggers away from him, not wanting such a hateful look to kick things off.

"Fine. Your Princess may be in another castle, but it seems you've gotten yourself a new caretaker...My King."

He takes pleasure in my displeasure of this whole thing. I'm not meant to be here, we both know it. I'm not the girl he was hoping to get in his home, and yet he has managed to keep me here regardless.

"So...girl...What's your name?"

"Lynsie."

"Lynsie...Not bad. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue like Peach does, but it's what you're stuck with."

"*scoff* Whatever you say, Bowser."

"*huffs* That's King Koopa to you."

I roll my eyes at him.

"Anyway, King Koopa...Where am I to be staying if keeping me is your intention?"

He shuts his eyes in thought.

"We don't normally take in guests. The only places I can offer are the dungeon..."

"Not happening."

"Peach's room..."

"Nope!"

"Jr.'s room..."

"Next."

"The Koopalings rooms..."

"What else?"

"Well, that just leaves the staff sleeping quarters or..."

"Or?"

His eyes open with a teasing look coming to his face.

"Or...You can sleep in my chambers~."

He even adds a wink and I am unamused.

"Screw it. I pick the staff quarters..."

I spin on my heel and walk off, much to his dismay.

"Laters."

"Hey!"

"What?"

"You don't know where you're even going."

"Don't care. I'm not sticking around to hear you spout such weak heat."

"Kamek!"

The doors to the room open and an old Magikoopa on a broom enters.

The one called Kamek is wearing a pair of round spectacles and a set of blue robes, complete with a blue wizard's hat. Both the brim of his hat and the edges of his sleeves are white. He has a scepter, a golden stick with a red jewel at the end; tucked just under his robes. His broom is a stereotypical straw-colored broom with no particular quirks about its appearance. He has legs buts it's a feature not seen because of the robes. Kamek's skin, like all Magikoopas and most other Koopa species, is yellow. Despite being very old, he shows no physical signs of his age, looking very similar to the present as he did in the past...I only know this because it is known in books that Kamek has been with Bowser since the King's childhood. Like other Magikoopas, it is not clear whether Kamek has a shell. Kamek does have a small hunch on his back which might be a shell, however, he is never seen ducking into a shell to protect himself when attacked, and neither Kamek nor any other Magikoopa has been seen losing their hypothetical shell like many other members of the Koopa troop, including Bowser himself, do at some point.

"You yelled your cantankerousness?"

"Lynsie is going to be staying with us as Jr.'s new caretaker."

The old Koopa eyes me.

"Really?"

"I'm being forced."

"Ah, now it makes sense. So why call me?"

"She needs escorting to her new accommodations."

"Peach's room?"

"Heck no!"

Surprisingly both Bowser and I shout that.

"I'm crashing with the staff, thank you very much."

"Huh...Odd girl, aren't you. Fine with me. Come along, I don't have all day."

"*mutters* Yeah you might die of old age before we get there."

"What was that?!"

"I said let's go already, you old fart!"

I walk off annoyed, this whole situation getting to me and making me far from cheerful.

"...Did she really just say that?"

"Heh...Yep. She's a real spitfire that girl."

"You coming or what, old fart?!"

"Respect your elders, you brat!"

"Show her to Jr. before her bed."

Kamke nods and flies out in front of me. He guides me through the halls, earning me some odd looks from the others that pass us by. Great, without even trying, it feels like home.

"Forgive them. They're used to only seeing Peach. Other humans are rare."

"I'm used to it."

"Well...This is Jr.'s room. This is where you'll be reporting to every day."

"Understood."

The room door flies open, an old female Magikoopa flies out in a huff.

"Something wrong Kammy?"

Kammy is one of the higher ranked Magikoopas. Being so, she wears distinctive clothes to separate her from the others. She is in dark purple robes and a dark purple hat. Her hat, unlike most Magikoopas, bends backward when most Magikoopas hats stick straight up unless mounted on a broom. She has white hair down the side of her face and small oval-shaped glasses. She is also noticeably shorter than most Magikoopas and has a hunched back. Being shorter, her staff is also shorter than most Magikoopas. She is also mounted on her broom similar to Kamek's, but her broom is much bigger than herself and has a bamboo-like texture to the wood. The end of the broom has half white and purple cloud-like texture, this end piece puffs as she flies. It's kind of cute actually.

"That kid is going to be the death of me, Kamek! When is Bowser getting a new nanny for him?"

"You're looking at her."

He points at me and I shrug.

"This human is the Prince's new caretaker?"

"I'm being forced."

"Oh...Makes sense. Well, he's all yours, kid. I'm out of here!"

She flies off.

"Kammy! I wanna play!"

Bowser Koopa Jr. yells.

"Heh...Sounds like you're up, girl."

"Super."

I peek my head in the child's room and am immediately hit in the face with a big rubber ball, much to the amusement of Kamek.

"Argh! Son of a beach ball, that stings!"

I rub my nose as Kamek laughs and Jr. comes over to see who's out here.

"Who are you?"

Bowser Jr. bears a striking resemblance to the Koopa King himself if he were shrunk into a baby form that is as he's only 4'4''. He has a yellow skin tone that lacks the tan seen on his dad and most of the Koopalings, as well as a light green head, with small horns on each side each being circled with orange rings. He has small circular eyes that are black in color and lack the sclera and irises, as well as his father's fiery orange hair and eyebrows; his hair is tied up into a top-ponytail. His mouth is wide, puffy, and con-vexed with a large snout having one fang-like tooth in the upper left corner. Bowser Jr has little hands and little padded feet, which have small white claws. His shell is green, lined with a white encasing and the multiple short spikes are circled with orange rings, similar to his father's shell, while his belly is plated with four ribs. While smaller than me, appearing to be somewhere in the three to four-foot range, he is still his father's child and probably filled with a considerable amount of strength. This child is to be managed and done so with care and caution.

"Jr., this is Lynsie. She's..."

"Are you my Mama?"

Kamek chokes on air as my face burns in a deep blush and from being hit.

"Me? Mama? I..."

I can't form words anymore.

"Jr., Lynsie is going to take care of you."

"Is she going to jump too?"

"No, my Prince. She is not going to leave you."

"Yay!"

"Now, while I am to show her to her sleeping quarters, I think it wouldn't hurt if you two got to know each other better."

"Wait, what?"

"Really? Oh boy! Let's play!"

Jr. pulls me into his room and I try clawing at a snickering Kamek before he floats out of sight.

"Okay Mama, what do you want to play first?"

"How old are you kid?"

"I am fifteen."

He's so small and yet a teenager, but it makes him so cute looking!

"Awww...You're an adorable fifteen-year-old."

"Uh huh. Papa says when I grow up, I'm going to be King just like him."

"Technically true. As the sole heir, you pretty much are guaranteed the crown. But there are other ways to gain rule."

His tiny eyes widened in curiosity.

"Really? Like what?"

"Well...From my understanding when reading into the laws of the royals, there are four main ways a prince can come into power. The first way is through prowess, meaning personal skill and ability. The second is through fortune, meaning good luck or the charity of friends. The third way is through crime, such as through a coup, conspiracy, or assassination. The fourth way is constitutional, meaning through the official support of either nobles or common people."

"How does that work?"

"Let's see, how do I say it...Um...The most important comparison to be made is that between prowess and fortune. Obtaining a state through prowess is clearly more demanding than benefiting from simple good luck. But a prince gifted with his own prowess is possessed of a strong foundation to maintain that rule, whereas fortune is unpredictable and may lead as easily to a prince's deposition as it had to his rise. Thus, maintaining rule is much easier when a prince has used his own skill. Because the maintenance of rule is most important, we can conclude that prowess is a better route to become a prince of power. A second comparison might be made between criminal and constitutional means of achieving power. Here, the main point of difference is not the skill and experience of the prince but popular attitudes toward the prince. A prince who comes to power through crime runs the greatest risk because he may be forced to commit some cruelty toward his subjects, endangering himself by breeding hatred and resentment among the populace. A constitutional prince, however, comes to power with the support of either the nobles or commoners, and his job consists mainly of keeping the non-supportive group satisfied with his rule. To sum it up, prowess is to be preferred over fortune because prowess leads to a more effective ruler who is likely to garner lasting glory. Constitutional princes are preferable to criminal princes not only because they are more effective, but also because a criminal prince can achieve nothing other than power. A constitutional prince can achieve both power and glory. You being Bowser's only child, you'll become King when Bowser himself deems you ready for such a position, a constitutional route. The way of the power of prestige, the best one of the four. But do be careful young Prince, as fun as it may sound to be the one to make the rules and such, a King is not the as free or in control of things as you might think."

He sits down.

"Are you sure? Papa always seems to do what he wants."

I sit down with him.

"If you want, I can tell you what his job means and what you'll inherit one day."

"Please?! Please tell me, Mama!"

"Heh...Funny I'm starting to get used to that. But you can call me Lynsie or Lynn."

"Okay, Mama Lynn. Now please tell me more. You make learning sound interesting."

I giggle and humor the boy that will one day be king. He seems spoiled, but willing to learn and eager to understand things. In a way, he reminds me of myself in that aspect. His brain is a sponge that is wanting to soak up all the knowledge it can get. So much so that even I forget he is but a small child and I don't realize he's fallen asleep till I hear him snore.

"Okay young Prince, you win. The time for slumber is now."

Gently I scoop him into my arms, carefully maneuvering around the insanity of his toys and lay him in his bed. Compelled by such a tender sight I tuck the boy in on instinct and kiss his forehead before taking leave of his chambers. I aim to wander the halls but Kamek's chuckling gets my attention.

"I see you're still in one piece, girl."

"The kid ain't as bad as I expected. The silly boy nodded off and I tucked him."

He's shocked.

"Really?"

"Yeah. *yawn* Can I go to bed now too? I feel like I was in there for hours."

"You were."

"What?"

"At one point I thought you were dead. So I left, made myself some a snack, caught a movie, came back and found you two were talking. So I took a nap...and you were still talking when I woke up."

I just shoot him a look while yawning and he gets the idea.

"Fine, I get it. Come along oddball, your bed is waiting."

A tired smile smears my face as he flies off, leading me away like the pied piper and his broom the mystical flute that beckons me to follow blindly. I don't remember making it to the staff rooms. Nor do I recall even making it to a bed. All I do remember is a feeling of exhaustion taking me before everything goes black and I feel nothing more from the waking world as sleep becomes all I know.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	2. A bad start

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

"Hey...Mama Lynn? Mama...Come on, wake up. Papa wants you to come to breakfast. ...Wake up!"

The screaming voice scares me enough that I fall off the bed I was peacefully sleeping in and earning me a new head pain from hitting the cold stone floor.

"Ow..."

"Mama's up! Time to eat."

"Ugh...What time is it?"

"Eating time. Now come on...Papa's waiting."

Oh right...Bowser. In sleep, I had forgotten much of the past day. I have been mistakenly abducted by idiots thinking I was Princess Peach and now am under the servitude of the King of Koopas, Bowser. I am allowed to leave his rule, but only once a debt is paid by taking care of his son, Bowser Jr., who seems to be fond of calling me his mom.

"*sighs into a yawn* Okay dear, I'm up. I don't want to be up, but you have bested me. You win."

He is overjoyed.

"Woo-hoo!"

Suddenly he leaps on me, bouncing with boundless energy.

"Let's go, Mama!"

"Okay-okay...*yawns*"

I pick him up as I stand and he crawls his way to perch himself on my shoulders, gripping my ponytail like horse reigns.

"Uh...What are you up to Jr.?"

"Mama's new here, right? I'm gonna help you find Papa."

He yanks hard and I snarl in shock.

"Go that way!"

Oh, kid, you are so lucky I can't hurt you or you'd be turtle soup. I swallow my pride and obey the boy, but I do so on my own terms. Playing around with this role he made me, I pretend to be a Yoshi and he loves it.

"Almost there Mama."

"Yoshi."

"Oh look, a guard...Chase him!"

"Yoshi!"

"Aaah!"

This looks completely nuts but I can't stop from laughing at it all. Jr. has me running around, messing with people, and all while I say only 'Yoshi'. This continues for some time till we end up sliding on the shell of a Buzzy Beetle into a room and hopping off to avoid crashing into a pillar. Poor thing bounces around a bit before pin balling out the room.

"Well I see you two are getting along. That's good."

We look over and see Bowser seated at a fancy table.

"Hi, Papa. I told you I'd find Mama."

Bowser just gives me a funny look.

"Mama?"

I shrug.

"Yoshi."

Jr. pets my head.

"Good Mama."

"Yoshi!"

Jr. snickers and hops off me, allowing me to stand up straight with a few loud spine pops.

"I thought you didn't get along with kids?"

I guess Bowser is going to start early on messing with me. I'm in no shape for that.

"I don't see a kid. Jr. is very mature for his age."

"...He rode you like a Yoshi and is calling you mama."

"Your point?"

"That's something a kid does!"

"Papa, be nice to Mama Lynn."

"Thank you, sweetie."

Bowser's jaw drops and now I'm grinning.

"In less than a day you've turned my own son against me."

"You know what the sad part of that is? It wasn't intentional or that hard."

He glares before smirking.

"You're cute when you're bad."

Caught off guard but not wanting to lose face, I ignore the remark, but the faint color dusting my cheeks reveals all, which he enjoys.

"Come Lynsie. Come sit with your King."

"Bite me."

"Don't tempt me."

"Mama! Papa! Don't fight!"

Jr.'s eyes water slightly and I break.

"Oh no, sweetie, please don't cry. We weren't fighting. That's just a game we play. I swear."

"It's not nice to swear Mama. *snickers*"

I'm stunned as this little boy just played me for a laugh. His father enjoys the show and I crack a smile.

"Well played young Prince. Well played indeed."

"*giggles* Next time don't make it so easy, Mama."

"Never underestimate a member of the royal Koopa line. We are masters in the art of deception."

"Then by that logic, I should not believe you as that too can be a deceptive con. But perhaps that's just what you want me to think. Or making me think that is the true goal. Or maybe you're just messing with me for a laugh because watching someone over think simple things is hilarious."

He points to his snout and I chuckle.

"I'm not surprised there."

Jr. takes my hand suddenly and drags me over to a chair by his father.

"Mama sits here."

"Jr. dear, this isn't necessary."

"What's wrong, Lynsie? Afraid I'll bite?"

"Bowser..."

"What did I tell you? You don't get to call me by name."

"And why not?"

"Yeah, Papa. You call Mama by her name. Why can't she say your name?"

"It's a formality son. Your 'mama' has to earn it."

"Hark, did anyone else hear that? It's the sound of your chair about to break under the weight of your massive ego."

What the hell is wrong with me?! I have no reason to be like this! Stop before something happens!

Yet to my surprise the King merely chuckles.

"Little spitfire, burning ever brighter."

He nudges the chair by him out with his foot.

"Sit...Please."

Okay, if he's going to be civil than I can be nice and return the gesture.

"Thank you, my King."

A smile creeps to his features as I take my seat. Jr. seeing the moment of pleasantry between us, he happily takes the other seat beside his father. With us seated, Bowser rings a bell and a Dry Bones wanders in.

Dry Bones are bony, skeletal, dried out, undead, Koopa Troopas that mainly are found in towers and castles. These undead Koopas often collapse when attacked, but they soon revive themselves and become normal once again, however there are some methods to permanently kill them. All Dry Bones are be capable of rebuilding their bodies after being hurt. This outstanding process takes place only a few seconds after being crumbled. However, one can defeat a Dry Bones for good but it takes magic, bombs, ice flowers, a Penguin suit, shell collision, or the possession of a Invincibility Star to do so. You can also break them and knock a body part off to a lower ledge or lava, but the remains won't stay gone permanently.

"Sire?"

"Send in the food."

"Yes, sire."

It leaves and moments later, cart after cart is rolled in then emptied on the table before us. I'm amazed at the amount of food. And this is just breakfast?! This is nuts!

"Anything else, sire?"

"This is fine."

"Thank you, sire."

The staff leave and I don't know where to even begin. The father and son pair, however, dig in like there is no tomorrow. I'd probably be disgusted by this if I weren't so logical. Judging by Bowser's size, he has to ingest a massive amount to maintain his metabolism. Jr. is a still growing child, his body mass is constantly in need of fuel as it continues to expand but does have a top off limit. He can't eat as much as Bowser, but someday in the future, he will.

"Is something wrong Mama?"

I blush, having been caught staring.

"No dear, all is fine. I was just lost in thought is all. Sorry if I worried you even the slightest."

"Heh heh...Mama's silly."

I don't have much of an appetite when I first wake up, my own fault for not eating as much as I should. But if being under the thumb of the Koopa Royals allows me to indulge maybe it wouldn't hurt to enjoy what I can. I pull a few goodies to my plate and sink my teeth into such a delicious start of the day.

"So Jr..."

"Yes, Papa?"

"What did you and 'mama' do yesterday?"

"Oh! Mama taught me about the ways I can become King."

This earns me a look from him as I drink some punch.

"Did she now?"

"Yeah! And then she told me the stuff a King does. Papa, why didn't you tell me it could be so boring?"

"...What did you tell him?"

"I merely informed the young Prince that being a King was a lot more work than it is fun. Sure, you go out and 'capture' Peach. But how do you pay for it? How do you compensate those that helped to get her? There's a lot of administrative work to be done and taxes to collect. Not to mention the whole listen to the people portion of things..."

"I fell asleep when she got to that part."

"Afterword's, I tucked the boy in bed and Kamek showed me to my own resting zone. Twas uneventful to say the least."

"Oh! I'm sorry for hitting you in the face with my ball."

"...Apart from that, it was uneventful. And I forgive you, dear."

"Oh. So that explains the shiner."

I tilt my head and he points to my eye. Feeling my right does nothing, but feeling the left makes me wince a little.

"Ow..."

Jr. shrinks into his shell a little, afraid I'm upset.

"Eh. It was an accident. No harm was done."

"So...You're not mad, Mama?"

"Hmmm? Oh, no sweetie. I've been hit worse. It'll take more than a ball to the face to hurt me."

"Don't tell Lemmy. Okay, son? You wouldn't want this 'mama' to run away, do you?"

"My King, please don't be mean and tease the Prince."

"*sniffles* Mama's not gonna run away, is she?"

"See? Now, look what you did."

"Jr., I didn't mean it! Lynsie isn't going anywhere. Right Lynsie?"

"Yep. I'm stuck here."

"R-Really? *sniffs* So...Mario isn't gonna steal you away?"

I scoff and lean back in my chair.

"That guy? Please...Don't give him credit like that. No one knows I'm here and I'm not a Princess. I won't show up on his radar to 'rescue' even if I set off fireworks that scream 'please save me'."

"I won't let him take Mama Lynn away! Mario's a bully, he never fights fair!"

"Says the boy with a literal army and militia at his command."

I take another sip as he jumps on the table.

"I mean it! Mario is a bad man! He's always picking on Papa and me. If he even tries to steal you, I'll...I'll...I guess I'll just whup him myself!"

"Gwah ha ha ha! That's my boy! Well, put, son."

I feel weird about this. Something in me stirs and I don't understand this feeling.

"Awww...Don't worry Mama. I won't let Mario get that close."

"Not if he knows what's good for him. Right son?"

"Right Papa."

This feeling...I don't like it. I don't understand it and it's making me confused. I don't like it. And my internal struggle of this feeling can be seen by the company around me.

"Mama? Mama, are you okay?"

"I...I don't know."

"Jr...Allow 'mama' and I to have a moment."

"Ewww! You're not gonna be gross and kiss are you?"

That makes me snort a laugh and Bowser blushes in a fluster.

"No! No, I just want to talk to her."

Jr. smirks.

"Yeah. You'd rather kiss Mama Peach~."

The great and fearsome King Koopa is made into a blushing fool by his own adolescent son...Truly priceless.

"L-Leave the room Jr. and I'll get you that new video game system you wanted."

"*gasp* Yes! I love you, Papa!"

Jr. scampers off and once the doors are closed Bowser turns to me.

"Kids, right?"

"Yeah..."

"You seem troubled."

"I'm just confused."

"About what?"

"I...I don't get why he would defend me."

"Jr.?"

"Yeah. We've only just met and yet he spoke with such true passion. I just can't wrap my head around it. Maybe he sees me as a possession he doesn't want to be taken? But then there's the whole 'mama' thing. He referred to Peach as 'mama', so maybe it's just a female thing? I don't know."

My brain is working hard on trying to make sense of this so much so that smoke would likely be coming out of my ears, yet Bowser just looks at me with a playful smile.

"How funny. Kammy once told me that the mind of a maiden is rather complicated. Now I see it's true."

"Do not mock me."

"But teasing you is so amusing."

"*growl* If you are going to say something, then have it make sense for me so I don't lose my mind trying to figure this out!"

My little snap is but a taste of boiling anger. When I can't understand something, I try to figure it out, and when I can't do so it messes with me. It annoys me. I get warmer and warmer, to the point I'm hot with madness. The littlest thing will set me off and I hate it. I don't like being that way, which makes me even worse. And he can sense it too. My entire vibe is changing. He has to do something or have a mad woman raising hell in his home.

"*sigh* Okay, just calm down and I'll try to help you. Can you do that without flipping the table?"

Not like I could even if I wanted to. This thing must weight a ton or two.

"...Fine."

I huff through my nose a few times and slowly drink till I feel a bit better.

"Please...Tell me what you know...My King."

Using his title lets him know I'm better, so he takes a drink for himself and readies his words.

"My boy...He idolizes me and strives to be like me. Sometimes he challenges me in little games to test himself by comparison, but aside from a few instances of a father-son rivalry, we share a close bond. We partner up in various sports and things, and he aids me in many of my plots."

"In all fairness sir, I can see that. Watching the two of you, reading about you and other things...It's almost painfully obvious that a son will want to be like his father. Plus you're the only parent he has. It's not like he can latch onto his mother."

A low rumble escapes him as a warning.

"Watch your tongue or you won't have it for long."

"Sorry. It's the crankiness talking. I hate being like this."

"But you are right. While I care for my son, my selfishness and single-minded determination to defeat Mario occasionally leads me to treat Jr. like a minion, and when he's wrapped up in one of my plans I have a tendency not to listen to what he has to say. *deep sigh* I think this type of thing stems from raising him alone. Taking care of a child and a Kingdom at the same time...It gets hard to separate the two lives without help, you know?"

"Yeah. I can see that. Eventually the two merge. Your family becomes hard to distinguish from subjects, but makes it easier to detach yourself from feeling the worst about things involving them."

"So true. Before Jr., I would treat the Koopalings like my children. They still call me King Dad."

"That's...That's rather sweet."

"But then Jr. entered my life, the Koopalings got pushed aside and now fight for my attention. Heck, I'm so bad at this father stuff I even told Jr. that Peach was his mother when he kept asking me where she was. I felt so guilty about it. I came clean to him, but he knew it was a lie all along and willingly went along with it because he wanted to fight alongside me regardless of it. I was so proud in that moment. It revealed his deep loyalty and love for me. It was then I swore to be better for him. I'm very protective of my boy and I become enraged whenever Jr. is harmed in any way."

"Very understandable."

"But I know I still can't do this on my own. Jr. needs a mother. I think aside from my goals, he's also motivated to kidnap Princess Peach because of his own affection for her, and the fact he continues to call her 'mama' just further suggests he wishes she really was his mother."

"So you think he's projecting this mother need onto Peach because, well let's face that easy one, you want her. So, in turn, he does too."

"Sounds about right."

"But where do I fit into this mommy picture?"

He scans me up and down.

"You remind him of her."

I'm confused.

"How? Based on what you said yesterday, I'm the farthest thing from your sweet Peachy."

"*snort* You are. If Peach is the sun, then you are a black hole. But I didn't mean in looks. There's this spark about you. It's nice. Warm even. It feels like the kindness Peach gives off. This sense of care..."

I can't help but blush and when he notices he looks away embarrassed while rubbing the back of his head.

"But I'm just guessing there. Like I said, you aren't Peach."

My curiosity is peaked.

"Can I ask a personal question?"

"Uh...I guess so."

"Do you love her?"

He pales.

"W-What?"

"The way you speak about her, the constant kidnapping, the lack of evil towards her...It just seems that you might be harboring some strong feelings for her. So is it love, infatuation, a crush even?"

"Uh...You do realize that's a very personal question to ask."

"I know. And you don't have to say anything."

"Wh...Really?"

"Sure. I'll just ask Jr.. I'm sure he'll spill such juicy secrets."

His jaw drops and I smile all too innocently.

"That's a cruel and rotten way to get me to talk...and I love it!"

I giggle as he finishes his drink.

"Ah, Princess Peach. Such a complex thing we have between us. Initially, I started abducting Peach to prevent her from restoring the transformed Toads back to normal so to make taking over her Kingdom much easier. Fewer people, less hassle."

"Makes sense."

"When that didn't work, I switched tactics. I tried and failed to marry Peach, gaining control in a political way. However, I didn't see these moments having such an effect on me. I began to develop an unrequited crush on the princess. It's a bit embarrassing to say, but I was starting to hope that Peach would like me if we spent enough time together. Ultimately, this usually leads me to attempt to forcefully marry her."

"Daww...In a crazy way that sounds adorable."

He tries to hide his growing blush.

"My most carefully preserved memory is of Peach showing me kindness. But despite my feelings, I uh, heh, actually show very little regard for her happiness and well-being, what with the constant kidnappings, attacks on her kingdom, and fights the people she cares about. You know, the small stuff."

I nod while biting my tongue so I don't bust out laughing.

"I may have also put Peach herself in danger a few numerous times, either inadvertently or on purpose. But that was only because the Princess herself faced me in combat. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Lose? Now that's just crazy. Oh! There was this one time we were wed by Count Bleck and Nastasia as part of the former's plan to unleash the Chaos Heart. While I regard the marriage as official and happily refer to Peach as my wife, she refutes my claims and called the wedding a sham. She didn't even return my affection at all that day and I was a perfect gentleman too. No-no, I don't want to be that guy that rags on his lady behind her back. Despite that, she's still willing to work with me when the situation calls for it, and will even sweet-talk, flatter, and show me genuine goodwill or concern when we are acting as allies."

I ponder on his words.

"So? What do you think?"

"...I think you really like her. I think what you're feeling is real. But I'm not so sure your feelings can become anything more than this possessive attraction you have now."

He scrunches his brow and rests his chin on his hand.

"Oh? Do tell how you've come to that idea."

"Okay, but just so you know, this is all based on things I've read and from what you've told me. I'm no Peach expert."

"Clearly."

Okay...Now I don't feel so bad for him.

"While you do repeatedly kidnapped Peach and invaded her kingdom, both out of a megalomaniac desire to rule the world, but it's also because you've fallen in for her. While Peach initially discovered your feelings for her by reading your diary..."

"She told people that?!"

"She had the moment published in a book called Mario's Story. She writes about all her 'adventures' and has them made into books to be sold the world over. How else do you think I know so much?"

His eye twitches but I continue.

"Since then, you have become quite upfront about your crush, such as attempting to get her to kiss you in public after winning one of those tennis tournaments and becoming enraged whenever other villains kidnap her. You've even told your son that Peach was his mother, and while it was later revealed that Jr. knew it was a lie all along, he went along with it anyway and even continues to refer to her as 'mama' out of his own affection for her. Now while it is true that Peach did marry you willingly, it wasn't really so as Nastasia uses mind control to force her in order to fulfill the ancient prophecy. This is why Peach considers the wedding a sham and refuses to acknowledge it, even if you insist on calling her your wife even as you teamed up to defeat Count Bleck, the marriage is technically null and void. And deep down I think you already know this. Why else do you still attempt to marry the unwilling Peach if in fact you were already wed?"

He looks down with a disheveled sigh.

"A guy can always hope."

"Very true my King. But while Peach does not return your feelings, she seems to not be above sweet-talking you into teaming up with her and Mario at times. It also seems that she will occasionally show you goodwill, such as baking you a cake or hesitating when she had to leave you to your presumed death in some of your defeats. However, in her own books that depict her adventures in all these events, she talks about being frightened of you. So much so that she jumps higher than Mario upon seeing you on the hero's side to stop the Smithy Gang or how she cries while in captivity. Even in sports tournaments, the two of you have bad chemistry and face off as rivals in many of them. As messed up as it sounds and as much as I really don't want to say it...But she's clearly using you."

This earns me a not so friendly look from him.

"She is in no way using me."

"I would have to disagree. The relationship between you two can be easily described as 'love/hate'. You who is clearly in love with Princess Peach but she rejects you every time. This leads to you always to kidnapping Peach which leads to the infamous running gag of Mario coming to the rescue. And even though you abduct her, she ends up in the power position. She has her own room. She can freely wander around your home. She's able to take your things and send them along with information to Mario. She manipulates your feelings for her so you'll do things that she wants. She even uses herself to distract you when dealing with Mario. Face it, she knows what she's doing. She's playing you like a game and she knows what moves to make in order to win. She..."

"ENOUGH!"

He roars with such force that the table is made empty and I'm sent tumbling to the ground.

"Bow...King Koopa?"

The rage in his eyes, it sends chills down to my very bones and my heart stops for several seconds before beating again.

"Get. Out. Now."

"*gulp* But sir..."

"GO!"

He smashes the table by hurling it into a wall. I blink and the next thing I see is my feet as I stand in a hall gasping for breath. I have never been so terrified in my entire life. My legs won't stop shaking, I've broken into a cold sweat, and my heart is speeding faster than a Yoshi using a Dash Pepper.

"M-mama?"

I nearly jump out of my skin.

"Are you okay?"

I open my mouth to speak, but can't make words come out.

"Papa scared you, didn't he?"

I nod and he sighs.

"I'm sorry Mama. But don't worry. I won't let Papa hurt you."

He gently takes my hand and just like that, the fear melts away to an overwhelming need for comfort. I drop to my knees and pull him into my arms, ignoring the spikes, and hug him tight much to his surprise. Yet he doesn't push me away. He embraces me in return. Giving me random nuzzles each time my form trembles.

"Mama Lynn...Do you wanna play a game with me?"

I don't speak, just hold him more.

"Um...Do you wanna go to my room?"

I nod against him.

As much as I don't want to, I let the Prince out of my hold but he keeps a grip of my hand and helps lead us over to his chambers. Once inside, I move to his bed and glue myself there. Jr. does his best to cheer me up or at the very least break me out of this funk, to little success. I think the part that mostly is getting to him is my lack of talking. The silence is saddening, even as we play catch.

"Mama...How long are you going to stay quiet?"

I shrug and pass the ball to him.

"Can I ask why Papa got mad and scared you?"

"...I said something he didn't like."

"Is that why you're not talking? You don't want to say anything else that might be bad?"

He passes the ball back to me and I nod.

"Well...What did you say?"

I look at the floor and hide behind the ball.

"Mama?"

"I don't want to say. You'll be mad at me too."

"It can't be that bad."

"...It was about Peach."

This gets to him and I hide more behind the ball.

"See? I should keep my mouth shut."

I hear his feet on the floor, making cute little pitter patter sounds, and when his hand suddenly touches my leg I flinch as if a Bullet Bill was just shot at me.

"What did you say?"

I shake my head.

"Mama..."

"No."

"Tell me."

"I said no."

He glares and takes in a big deep breath.

"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"She's a witch!"

I snap with a throw of the ball and he jumps.

"W-What?"

"*huffs* I said she's a bad person when it comes to your dad. Your dad and I talked for some time. He tried to help me understand why you would defend me after hardly knowing me. The subject then went to Peach and why he likes her. I thought about what he told me and added it to what I knew, this resulted in me stating that she is using your dad. She gets away with so much around him and she knows it. She's messing with his feelings to get her way and help Mario. I know Bowser can be mean and sometimes deadly, but Peach...To toy with someone's heart...That is true evil. And that alone makes me angry because even the big bad Koopa King doesn't manipulate the emotions of others. ...Except for that one time, he had the Vibe Scepter which has the power of emotions, but you know what I mean. Um...You do understand what I meant...Right?"

His face is in a state of dumbfoundedness and now I feel bad.

"*sighs* I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I just make things worse."

Now depressed about crushing a father and son's view on a woman they care about, I slump off his bed to the floor then roll myself under his bed to become lost in all his hidden junk. It's where I belong.

"Mama..."

Suddenly the bedroom door opens, with my back facing the door I can't see who it is, but from the feel of their steps and that deep voice, I know the King is here.

"Jr.."

"Hi, Papa. Do you feel any better?"

"Feel better?"

"The whole castle shook when you roared."

"Oh...that. Uh...Yeah. I'm feeling better. *ahem* Have you seen Lynsie anywhere?"

His voice, it sounded embarrassed at first and then tapered off in sadder feeling.

"Mama Lynn is hiding."

Oh sweet lord, do not tell him where I am!

"Hiding huh? *mutters* I'm not surprised."

"Huh?"

"Oh! Nothing. *sighs* If you see her, let her know I'm looking for her. Okay?"

"Okay, Papa."

He slowly leaves and Jr. comes over to my side of the bed then peeks at me.

"Heard all that?"

"Yeah."

"Are you gonna go see him?"

"...In a bit."

"Still scared?"

"Yeah. But not of him. I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing again."

"You know...You weren't wrong about Mama Peach."

This has me.

"I wasn't?"

"Papa loves Mama Peach. He'll do anything to make her happy. Even if it isn't a smart thing to do. He knows it's true, but he doesn't want to admit it."

I crawl out from under the bed.

"Still...I should apologize."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I want to say no...But I still don't know my way around here, so..."

"Heh heh...I'll help you find Papa, Mama. But on one condition."

"And that is?"

"Can I listen in?"

"...You want blackmail material don't you?"

He grins with a cute chuckle and I can't help but smile.

"Fine. But stay out of sight."

"No need to tell me..."

He pulls his bandana over his snout.

"I am a stealth master."

"*snickers* Well then, oh master of stealth, let us be off on our epic quest to see your dad!"

As like earlier, he leaps onto my back and he steers me to different rooms he thinks Bowser will be at. First, we check his room, nothing. Then the throne room, again nothing. But third time's the charm as we hear low mumbling coming from the study, and Jr. hops off as I work up the courage to knock.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	3. Silly sometimes be the Koopa

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

I'm so nervous, but I know I have to make things right. I knock on the door to the study and...nothing. I try again a bit harder, still nothing. I kick the door once...

"What?! I'm very busy!"

Bowser shouts.

"I heard you were looking for me."

There's a deafening silence, then what sounds like shuffling papers and a few grumbled words.

"Enter."

I hesitate, looking to Jr. for the last bode of confidence I need before entering and shutting the door. The room is dark, lit by torches. Bowser sits at a large desk, his chair is half out as if he expects to turn towards me when ready to pounce, and he's pretending to be reading, I know he's faking it because the book is upside down.

"You wanted to speak with me, my King?"

He puts the book down and runs a hand through his hair.

"...About earlier..."

"I'm sorry."

Now his attention is on me, actually looking at me.

"You're sorry?"

"Yeah. I didn't mean to upset you. Peach is someone you really care for. And yet knowing this, I can't seem to stop saying things about her that just make you mad. I don't intend to do it. *sharp hitching breath* It's been making me feel awful. Knowing that I've hurt you even in the slightest."

A lump is forming in my throat and it's getting harder to breathe, even my eyes are starting to water. He just looks at me stunned. I'm about to cry in front of him while apologizing even though he's the one that raged over things.

"Lynsie...Come here."

I obey, sniffling softly as I approach him and he stands up once I'm in range, that's when he pulls me to him, holding me to his chest like I did with Jr. much to my shock.

"S-Sire?"

"Shhhhh...It's okay."

This kindness...It's getting to me, I'm trembling on the edge of bawling.

"Look, I'm not always going to show you this kind of treatment. I just don't like seeing girls cry. It's really annoying. So be smart and just accept..."

He flinches when my arms attempt to wrap around him as best they can and grip him hard.

"L-Lynsie?"

"You scared the heck out of me."

His face softens and he pets the back of my head, running his claws into rub into my scalp, soothing me.

"I'm sorry. I overreacted."

"I forgive you, my King. I'm sorry I said those things and upset you."

He smiles at my words and I coo in content from his attention.

"I forgive you...Little spitfire."

There's this soft pleasant tone in his voice, so kind and warm. It couples with his caring actions to make my heart swoon. Before I even realize it, I'm nuzzling my nose into his neck as best I can while avoiding his spiked collar. This flusters the Koopa King, his body heats up and he pushes me away with a deep blush coloring his face, but his simple push is strong, so I land on my butt a couple feet away.

"Lynsie? You okay?"

"It's fine. Just...Wasn't expect that."

"Me either. *nervous* W-Why were you, um...?"

Now I'm the blushing fool.

"My apologies. But you were being so nice to me...I wanted to be nice back to you. So...I got affectionate."

He's stunned and shame has me looking at the floor, yet this makes him pout.

"I...I didn't say it was a bad thing."

I look up at him surprised and he's rubbing his arm sheepishly.

"D-Don't look at me like that."

"Sorry."

"Just...Don't do it again."

"Yes, my King."

"You can go now. I'm sure Jr. will want to play or something."

"Of course. But before I take my leave, is there anything you would want me to do for you, my King?"

"Huh? Oh...um..."

He looks off in thought for a moment. I watch as his serious face shifts into a smile, then a smirk, then a look I'm unsure of and he blushes before shaking his head to revert to normal yet embarrassed.

"Just take care of Jr. and keep out of trouble."

"Yes, my King."

I bow in respect and leave him to his work or whatever he was doing then rejoin Jr. who had to back away from the door.

"You hear all that?"

He snickers.

"You made Papa all goofy."

"Did I?"

"Yeah. I can get so many new toys!"

I smile at this child, his amusement and energy is contagious, so I pick him up.

"What now my Prince? Shall we play a game or explore? What is your desire?"

"Hmmm...*gasp* We can go see the Koopalings!"

And I just died.

"You sure?"

"Yeah! I wanna show you off."

Such a silly boy.

"Okay my Prince, lead the way."

Not like I have much of a choice. Using my hair once more as reigns, Jr. leads me deeper into the castle. I really need to get a map of this place in the future or I'll get lost just leaving to get food. Far into Bowser's castle, we come to an area that resembles his room but much bigger and with 7 split off rooms.

"You sure they're here? I thought they had their own castles."

"They do. But they like to stay near Papa in case he needs them for something."

"Makes sense, they are his generals."

"Whoa. You really do know a lot, Mama."

"I try. After all, knowledge is power."

"That's my line."

We turn to this voice as its owner comes out of its respective door.

"Well aren't you the cool dude."

"That's Roy, Mama."

Roy Koopa stands at 5'8'' tall and has the same yellow and tan skin complexion as the other Koopalings, but his head is pink instead of the standard green coloration. Roy has two fang-like teeth in the upper corners of both sides of his snout; they are the same depicted with Larry. His mouth is feline-shaped, as his lips are deeply curved, and his nose is flat. His head is a very simple round shape, and like the other Koopalings, he has a four-ribbed, plated belly and padded feet. Roy is rather large when compared to the other Koopalings, though shorter than Morton and Iggy, though this may be due to his shoulders being hunched over. He has long arms and hunched shoulders, as a gorilla does. His shell is purple, lined with a white encasing, and bearing multiple, short spikes circled with hot-pink rings. Roy wears the same metal, spiked cuffs as the other Koopalings, but his distinctive trademark is a pair of cat-eyed hot pink sunglasses; if I had to describe these glasses, I'd say they were "bad boy sunglasses" and are his most defining feature.

"Who's the lady, squirt?"

"This is Mama Lynn."

He looks at us funny.

"Mama?"

"It's just a thing he calls me. The name is Lynsie or Lynn for short."

He barely pulls his shades down and looks me over before putting them back up with a smirk.

"Not bad. The old man has good taste. I was beginnin' to think he was never gonna switch things up."

I snort a chuckle.

"Boy, how old are you?"

"Old enough, sweet cheeks~."

"He's twenty-four."

"Shut it, squirt!"

"Dude, I'm out of your league."

"A tough cookie huh? Still cute though."

I can't help but blush a little and it makes him chuckle.

"So why you two here anyway?"

"I'm showing Mama around and thought you guys would want to meet her."

"I don't know about the others, but if ya want...I wouldn't mind if cutie kept me company~."

I roll my eyes, finding him silly.

"Sure. We can play with you."

I don't think Jr. understands flirting all that well.

"Eh...Whatever, squirt."

He skulks over to a beanbag chair and plops onto it like a cool guy.

"Come on Mama, let's play!"

"Okay, sweetie. What do we play?"

"Hmmm...Oh!"

Jr. smacks my head and leaps off me.

"Tag! You're it!"

He laughs and runs off.

"You little stinker!"

The chase is on. I do what I can to keep up with this boy of limitless energy. Roy watches on, amused as he slips on a headset and tunes the world out with some music. But I am not as boundless as I think I am because after a good ten minutes followed by random tripping over a skateboard, I crash face first on the floor and stay there in defeat. This gets to Jr., who in worry comes over and gains Roy's attention, then pokes me.

"Mama? Are you okay? Mama?!"

I don't do anything for a few moments before suddenly grabbing Jr. who shrieks in shock but is soon laughing loudly as I blow raspberries on his belly.

"Ha ha ha ha! N-No fair! Heh heh heh! You c-cheated!"

"All is fair in love and war, sweetie. *raspberry* By the way, you're it. *raspberry*"

Such a crazy scene makes Roy snicker and takes his headset off.

"So lady...What kind of Princess are ya?"

"I'm not a Princess. *raspberry* I'm just a girl two Koopas thought was Peach based on that I'm human and was at Toad Town. *last raspberry*"

"Heh...Those were some dumb Koopas."

"Mama, let me go now."

"Hmmm...Nah!"

I hold Jr. close and cuddle him much to his displeasure.

"I think I'll cuddle you now."

"No! Big bad boys don't like cuddles! Right, Roy?"

Roy simply shrugs.

"Depends on who's givin' them. I know I wouldn't turn a cuddle down if you were the one offerin', sweet cheeks~."

Jr. huffs and I get a mean idea.

"Do you really want one, Roy?"

He looks at funny and I let Jr. wriggle free.

"You seriously offerin'?"

"For a limited time only. Act now while supplies last. Unless you don't really want to..."

"Deal!"

He bolts to me, tackling my chest and knocking me over. Man, the books weren't kidding when they said Roy was the powerhouse of the Koopalings. His strong arms wrap around my waist and he nuzzles up into my neck. I blush big time because this is both embarrassing and yet feels really nice at the same time. To this Jr. takes notice, especially when Roy purrs a little and I let slip a small coo.

"Heh, you like this cuddle don't cha, sweetheart~?"

"I could ask you the same thing. You're rather affectionate for a tough guy."

"Well sweet cheeks, if there's anythin' you need to know about me, it's this. I'm tough when I have to be and tender when I should be. And right now...I'm feeling like I should be very tender~."

I see where Bowser's flirtatious side went when it came to these kids.

"Roy, get off my Mama!"

Jr. is not too happy about what he's seeing. Like father like son, he doesn't like to share what is his.

"Beat it, squirt! Can't ya see I'm hookin' up here?"

Jr. is confused.

"Hooking up?"

I just snicker.

"Not even close, dude."

"You won't be sayin' that after we kiss~."

He puckers up and I try to move away, but luckily, Roy is moved off me by magic much to his annoyance.

"Hey! Who the heck...?"

"Such caddish behavior is beneath you, brother."

"*growls* Ludwig..."

Returning to an upright position, I spy the magic-wielding Koopaling called Ludwig von Koopa, the leader of the bunch and oldest of the seven. Like the other Koopalings, Ludwig has yellow and tan skin and a green head. He also has a four-ribbed, plated belly and padded feet. His facial features are defined, having shaped cheeks, a high nose, a low jaw, and deeply curved lips; his features are most similar to Roy's, although he is unique in having one fang tooth in the upper center of his snout, along with a complete set of teeth as revealed by his smile. He has a round head and small, circular gray eyes. A slight shadow over him also reveals that his eyes present the tapetum lucidum, as eye-shine can be seen in that darkness. Ludwig is average in height to most other Koopalings, standing at 5'4''. He is, to my understanding, taller than Lemmy, Larry, and Wendy but shorter than Roy, Iggy, and Morton. His body is like a wider version of Larry's. Ludwig is best known to have large, wild, blue hair. He also has small, blue eyebrows. Ludwig's shell is blue with light orange rings surrounding the multiple, short spikes. Ludwig wears the same metal spiked cuffs as the other male Koopalings do.

"Please, forgive my brutish sibling for his less than refined behavior."

"No worries. He was just being silly is all. No harm was done."

"Put me down, ya nerd!"

"As you wish."

With a swing of his blue wand, Ludwig sends Roy flying into an open treasure chest and it shuts on him but doesn't lock.

"*muffled* You're such a dork, Ludwig!"

"Yeah-yeah, great comeback as always, Roy. And to whom might you be milady?"

Jr. comes over and hugs me around the neck.

"This is my Mama. Mine! No one else's."

I giggle and pat his head.

"My name is Lynsie or Lynn if you like. I'm the young Prince's new caretaker after a failed Peach kidnapping brought me here. Does this explanation help you to better understand my presence here, oh eldest Koopaling?"

He is blank of emotion before a small smile graces his maw.

"My, such a respectful flower graces the good castle Koopa this day. While you may not be the one Lord Bowser desires, I find you so far a better treasure than that pink gold Peach."

"Ah, so the rumors are true. You doubt Peach is worthy of Bowser's hand, I mean, claw?"

Ludwig's smile grows and Jr. is confused as Roy emerges from the chest.

"The flower seems to know many things. Indeed, while in the start, I did not mind the Princess holding such favor of our King Dad. But one needs only look at such an image long enough to see the poisonous fruit this would blossom forth. She will never want to be his. Her heart is to another and there's no stealing it even if he captures her form."

He is very refined and mature...I like him.

"If you don't mind me asking, what be your age?"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"It's impolite to ask a lady her age."

"Then a mystery I shall remain to you."

He smirks with a wink and I glare playfully.

"Thirty."

"Twenty-nine."

"Dang, y'all two are old!"

"You're not that far behind us, brother."

"Mama's not old. Kammy is old."

To that, we all agree.

"Anyway...Would the flower like to accompany me and listen to some music created by the Conductor of Chaos?"

"*whispers* That's his nickname, Mama. *snickers*"

"Cute. But as tempting as that sounds, I'm afraid my time this day is allotted to Jr.. Maybe some other time?"

Jr. beams with delight, Ludwig takes this with a grain of salt but Roy dislikes this.

"Mama..."

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I'm hungry."

"*overly dramatic gasp* Oh no! My sweet Prince is in need of sustenance. To the kitchen, we must go! Yoshi mode, activate! *goofy noises* Yoshi!"

"Go Mama Lynn Yoshi! Away!"

I gallop away with Jr. and the others just stare in confusion.

"Dude...Do ya ever get the feelin' that Jr. acts like that to get away with things like that?"

"He may be the youngest of us all, but he may be the most brilliant person I have ever met."

"...He's gonna rub it in our faces isn't he?"

"No doubt."

"Damn that squirt."

"Sheer genius."

[Meanwhile: In the kitchen]

"Thanks for the cookies Mama. I can never reach the jar without climbing and stuff."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Heh, sweets for my sweet Prince."

"Awww!"

Jr. hugs me tight.

"I love you, Mama."

My heart swells to the max.

"I love you too Jr.."

"Can I have a kiss Mama?"

"You can have all the kisses dear."

I pepper his cheeks with kisses and he giggles happily.

"*laughs* Mama's kisses are like candy."

"And they're all yours, sweetie."

"A bit rude, don't you think?"

Ah, crap.

"All that sugar will rot my boy's teeth. Maybe you should share those candy kisses with the rest of us."

Ah, Bowser's charm never ends. At least he's in a good mood as he enters the room.

"Ho ho, very funny. Ha ha, it is to laugh."

"Hi, Papa."

"Hello, son. I trust 'mama' has been taking care of you?"

"Mama's the best! She got me cookies."

Bowser eyes me.

"Not a lot, sir. Just enough for a quick snack. Can't spoil lunch, now can we?"

"As long as it's not gross."

"Oh my god, you are just so cute! I think I might die from it."

"No, you won't. See?"

Jr. makes this super adorable cute face and I grip my chest in pain.

"Argh! It's happening. Cuteness...overload...*coughing gasps*"

Jr. looks freaked out but Bowser just rolls his eyes with a laugh.

"Papa, help Mama!"

"In a minute. I'm enjoying the show."

"Papa!"

"Jr...*wheeze* Remember me fondly...*groan*"

I fall to the floor unmoving and Jr. is in full panic.

"Papa, please!"

Bowser chuckles.

"Okay, son. Step aside and let me show you how to save a girl."

Jr. moves away and Bowser comes over to me and kneels.

"You having fun acting like such a ham?"

"*whispers*...And you're eating it up."

"Yep, it's very delicious. But you're scaring Jr.. So stop being dead or I'll be forced to make you."

"*whispers* And how do you intend to do that?"

"The same way that is done in every storybook ever made."

Wait...He can't possibly mean...

"You wouldn't dare."

"Want to really make that bet?"

He's bluffing. He has to be.

"*whispers* You can't bluff me. You wouldn't dare kiss another girl that isn't your beloved Peachy."

"You don't know the extremes I'd go through for my son. Now get up or pucker up. Your choice."

That sneaky son of a turtle...I hate losing!

"Fine. *gets up* Yay! Thank you, my King. You have saved me from the brink of death itself. Truly you are without equal."

"*snickers* I know you're just being cute, but that is really boosting my ego to new heights."

"I aim to please."

"Mama!"

Jr. hugs my neck so tight I can't breathe.

"I'm sorry I killed you! I promise to never do it again."

"*choking* I...forgive...you...sweetie..."

"Jr., ease off your 'mama's neck there. She's turning purple."

"Oh no!"

He lets go and I gasp for air which makes Bowser laugh.

"Sorry, Mama."

"*sigh* It's okay, sweetie. You didn't know. After all, you're a growing boy. Getting stronger each day. And someday before you even know it, you'll be just like your Papa. Or better. Always aim high and dream big."

"Okay. Thanks, Mama."

"Jr., why don't you go run off for a little bit. Maybe make something for your 'mama'."

Jr. shoots his father a look.

"I don't know...Last time I left the room, you got mad at Mama and then the two of you got all mushy."

"That is not what happened!"

"I don't know, my King. You were fairly affectionate."

"Do not encourage him with such slanderous lies!"

Oh my god, this is priceless! Flustered Bowser is as funny as he is cute.

"Okay, I'll go. But...I want something first."

"What?"

"I want triple chocolate cake for dinner."

"Sweetie, even I know that's too much sugar before bedtime."

"But Mama!"

"How about ice cream as a compromise?"

"...Alright."

"Good boy."

I ruffle his head and he laughs before running off.

"Hard to tell he's a teenager. I'm guessing your line of Koopas age slowly."

"Yeah, but you get used to it."

I stand up and he does the same.

"Come. Let's walk."

Oh great, one of those type of things.

"As you wish, my King."

We leave the kitchen and I follow him. Even though it feels like he's headed somewhere, I know he's just walking around and looking at things.

"Jr. is quite taken with you."

He finally speaks.

"The feeling is mutual."

"I think you're the first person to not be driven insane by him...yet."

"He's energetic, but what kid isn't? In this environment, I can see why others would have a tough time dealing with him."

"What does that mean?"

"This is a Kingdom, my King. You are his father, yes. But you are also a busy man. A busy man with busy people who work for you. They are not up to dealing with children. They are only designed to handle the tasks given by their position."

"Hmmm...I suppose you make a fair point. Then by that logic, you were born for this job."

"I'm not saying that."

"Oh?"

"I am just doing what you asked of me. Take care of Jr.."

"Oh don't be like that. You know you're having fun."

"I'm not denying that. The Prince is a lovable boy. I can see a friendship in our future."

The Koopa King smiles.

"That's good to know. Tell me...What do you think of my castle?"

Small talk...I'm good with that.

"To be honest, I haven't seen all of it. Mostly my eyes have been on Jr.. But from the parts the Prince has shown me, I am impressed."

"Have you seen the outside?"

"No, my King. The only time I was outside, I was inside a sack."

"Would you like to see it?"

"Sure. Sounds fun."

He chuckles and continues leading through halls then even up along several stairs. But eventually, he opens a door and warm air hits us. Following out this door, we come to stand on one of the many castle wall walkways. It is here I see his kingdom.

The geography is extremely volcanic, some areas being wastelands, volcanoes, lava rivers and largely untouched by sunlight. This country is defended by the military forces of Koopa Troops with large numbers of tanks and airships patrol these lands to somehow be defeated by Mario and Luigi. Bowser has been the ruler of the Koopa Kingdom since childhood and is located not that far from Dinosaur Land.

"Not bad, right?"

"Now I see why it's sometimes called Dark Land. How thick are those clouds?"

"Yeah, the volcanoes constantly plume smoke and block most sunlight."

"It must make the moon look amazing."

"Huh?"

"You mean you don't know? Volcanic activity makes the moon blue."

"What? No way."

"Yes, way. The most literal meaning of a blue moon is when the moon, not necessarily a full moon, appears to a casual observer to be unusually bluish, which is a rare event. The effect can be caused by smoke or dust particles in the atmosphere, as has happened after forest fires and after eruptions, which caused the moon to appear blue. Sometimes even harsh snow can have the same effect, the air thick with snow, and the moon a vague blue...Very pretty. When it's a very smoky fire, fire produces large quantities of oily droplets of just the right size, about 1 micrometer in diameter, to scatter red and yellow light. Wherever the smoke clears enough in the daylight and the sun is visible, it will appear lavender or blue, maybe even indigo. But in short...The key to a blue moon is having lots of particles slightly wider than the wavelength of red light, 0.7 micrometer, and no other sizes present. It is rare, but volcanoes sometimes produce such clouds, as do forest fires. Ash and dust clouds get thrown into the atmosphere by fires and storms usually contain a mixture of particles with a wide range of sizes, with most smaller than 1 micrometer, and they tend to scatter blue light. This kind of cloud makes the moon turn red; thus red moons are far more common than blue moons."

He looks at me funny and I rub my head awkwardly.

"Yeah...I'm kind of a nerd, aren't I?"

"That sounds so cool!"

I blush and look away at the sky, I wasn't expecting him to be so excited.

"Is there anything else the moon can do?"

"Well...There is a moonbow."

"What's that?"

"A moonbow, also known as a lunar rainbow or white rainbow, is a rainbow produced by moonlight rather than sunlight. Other than the difference in a light source, its formation is exactly the same as for a solar rainbow. It is caused by the refraction of light in many water droplets, such as a rain shower or a waterfall, and is always positioned in the opposite part of the sky from the moon relative to the observer. Moonbows are much fainter than solar rainbows, due to the smaller amount of light reflected from the surface of the moon. Because the light is usually too faint to excite the cone color receptors in human eyes, it is difficult for the human eye to discern colors in a moonbow. As a result, a moonbow often appears to be white. However, the colors in a moonbow do appear in long exposure photographs. Oh! And then there's the sky halo. A 22° halo is an optical phenomenon that belongs to the family of ice crystal halos, in the form of a ring with a radius of approximately 22° around the Sun or Moon, in which case it is also called a moon ring or winter halo. It forms as the sun or moonlight is refracted in millions of hexagonal ice crystals suspended in the atmosphere. The halo is large; the radius is roughly the size of an outstretched hand at arm's length. A 22° halo may be visible on as many as 100 days per year, much more frequently than rainbows."

"Wow...You know a lot."

"Heh...Well, I try."

He looks really happy. Like this is one of those moments where he can just forget all his troubles and just lose himself in the sights of all that's his. I probably don't even have to speak so much, just keep a soft tone and let it soothe his soul. But after some time, I have to wonder...

"My King...Was there something else you wanted to discuss with me?"

"Hmmm?"

"Just curious if there was anything else you wanted to tell me while we're here."

He looks off in thought.

"Mmmm...There is one thing. But I don't know if you're loyal enough."

"I'm as loyal to your non-existent crown as an abducted stranger placed in charge of your son can be."

"...Is that a good thing?"

I sigh and pat his shoulder.

"Yes, my King, I am loyal to you. Now, what is it that you need?"

He blushes a little bit.

"I...*coughs* I need a...*mumbles*"

"I'm sorry?"

"I said...I need a...*mutters* woman's..."

"One more time Sire?"

"I need a woman's help!"

Well now...My curiosity is intrigued.

"Oh. And Kammy or Wendy can't help you?"

"No. I need a human woman's help in this matter. And before you ask any more questions, yes, it is a task of the utmost importance."

It doesn't take my mind long to guess.

"It's about Peach isn't it?"

"...Maybe."

Poor guy...I feel bad he's this hung up on her. But for as long as I am under his roof, I will respect his rule and his wishes.

"Very well. How might I help you?"

He's surprised.

"R-Really?"

"Yes, my King. While I may not be a true member of your kingdom, I am a guest in your land and home. Thus I shall obey your orders as requested. It's only fair."

"Whoa...Thank you."

I grip my chest.

"Argh! The sweetness...I see where Jr. gets it from."

He playfully punches my arm with a smirk and I laugh.

"Okay, little spitfire, can you stop being dorky and help me now?"

"Sure, my King. Whatever your wish is, I shall do."

He rolls his eyes and pulls a letter out from under one of his spiked armbands, then hands it to me.

"A royal invitation?"

"Go on, read it to me."

To you?

"My King...are you...Illiterate?"

He blushes.

"I can read! *mumbles* Not a lot, but enough. *normal* Just read it already!"

"Okay-okay. Let's see now...'Let's party! Come celebrate my birthday in two weeks, next Sunday! Be there or be square! Formal attire is a must! Princess Peach Toadstool.' Wow...Did she really send you this?"

"I may have had it taken from Wario's mailbox. I'm sure he won't mind. But what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Should I go? Would it be weird to just show up? What should I bring? I don't want to come off as desperate."

I'm taken back by this.

"What? What's with that look?"

"You're not going to, I don't know, try to take her?"

"Oh, I am. I just figure to do so at night's end. Let her have her little party and when it's over, I snatch her up. Real classy and civil like."

That blows my mind and I bust out laughing.

"Oh come on. It's not that funny."

"That's not...*laughs* That's not why I'm laughing. *giggles*"

He is confused.

"Then...Why?"

I calm down and wipe away some stray tears.

"Because...*chuckles* Peach paints you as this evil mastermind bent on ruining everyone's lives. But I don't see it. You're too darn adorable to be pure evil."

His face floods with a deep blush in shock.

"But as for helping you...I say go for it. While I still don't approve, if you really want to carry some favor with her, I recommend going and being on your best behavior. Right now, her main love interest is a short pasta loving multiple jobs having, good guy. But you are a King. You are a Royal. Sure, Mario has skills to do multiple things, but he can't keep to a single one. He can't even seal the deal with his so-called 'girlfriend'. He's irresponsible. You, on the other hand, you rule this land. You manage a whole kingdom and are responsible not only for your people but your kids. Face it, my King, you are a prize. Make her see it."

He's speechless.

"My King?"

He grabs me, pulling me to his chest and holding me close.

"B-Bowser?"

"I don't know if any of what you just said is true. But if it was, even if just a little bit...Thank you."

My heart...I can feel it shattering...I want to hold him. I want to reciprocate this. I want to comfort him. But I can't bring myself to hold him. I don't want to ruin this moment like before. All I can do is smile and lean my head against his sweetly.

"I meant every word, my King."

His hold softens and he nuzzles me gently. I can't fight it anymore...I must hug him!

"My lord!"

A Goomba waddles in the doorway and Bowser drops me like a child caught with a naughty book.

Goombas are a typically brown fungus-based species capable of speech. They resemble brown shiitake mushrooms or chestnuts with two feet, but no arms. Goombas have large faces that occupy most of their mushroom caps, while their stems attach their heads to their feet. A defining feature is their black bushy eyebrows that form a scowl. They also have two upward-pointing fangs that sometimes resemble braces. Both Goombas and Toads are fungus-based, and both originated from the Mushroom Kingdom, although according to Peach, the Goomba race betrayed their homeland many years ago. Goombas are among the most common foot soldier in Bowser's command. They can typically be defeated with a single punch, stomp, or fireball attack, although some are a bit more resilient. When jumped on, Goombas usually flatten before being defeated. Although Goombas are physically weak, they are very adaptable. Regular Goombas have been encountered in almost all types of terrain, while many variants have emerged well-suited for certain environments. Goombas' main form of attack is walking into their opponents. A Goomba's only real strength is that they work in large groups to attack an enemy. This forces the opponent to be much more cautious as he or she fights the group. In some games, Goombas can also use attacks such as charging with a headbutt, headbonk, biting, rolling, kicking, and spitting thorns from their mouths. And while these creatures sound weak and helpless to a point, they are usually the minions that storm the castle to get Peach. Yeah, they're better than her Toads and Toads have freaking arms!

"What?!"

"The tailor you requested is here to take your measurements. Are we still needing them?"

"Yes, we're still using them! I want to look sharp for my Peach. I'm a prize and I have to look it."

I smirk. I have fanned the flames of his ego and now he's on a whole new level of peacockery.

"Alright, my lord. If you'll please follow me, we can get you all set."

"Heck yeah!"

They start to leave as I get off the floor.

"Lynsie..."

The King calls from the doorway.

"Yes, my King?"

He's silent for a bit, his back to me, I can't tell if he's okay or not.

"...Keep up the good work."

I smile.

"I will."

"And don't use my name!"

He leaves on that note and I know he's fine. At least he's happy. And that makes me happy...till I realize something.

"How do I get back out of here?"

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me. If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	4. The gang is all here

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

I stay outside on the castle wall. If I head inside on my own, I'll get lost in this massive stone labyrinth of a home. If I wait here, eventually someone will either find me as they go on patrol or come looking for me for one reason or another. So in the meantime, I might as well just enjoy the view.

"Dark, yet lovely. Such a vast contrast to the Mushroom Kingdom."

It's definitely a place where the cold-blooded can keep warm and toasty. Everything is spaced in such a way and is active to a certain point that the land has a tropical heat. It's hot, but a good hot. Just right.

I stare off into space, letting my mind wander into the endless imaginative void. So lost in my mind am I that I lose track of time and don't notice the door opening and closing, or the person who found me approach then tug my arm.

"Excuse me..."

I pop out of my daze and come face to face with a tuft of a green hair atop the head of a Koopaling.

"Are you the one Jr. is calling...Mama?"

Great, that has become a thing. Eh, might as well just roll with it.

"Yeah."

He giggles.

"I found you first. That means I get the reward."

"Sorry to interrupt, but...Are you Iggy?"

"You...You know me?"

As with most of the other Koopalings, Iggy has tan-ish yellow skin, as well as a green head, a four-ribbed plated belly, and padded feet. He stands at 5'6'' not counting his hair. Iggy also has four fang-like teeth in the upper corners of both sides of his mouth. Iggy has always been the tallest and lankier of the Koopalings. Older books I've read said he had a rainbow-colored Mohawk similar to his brother Lemmy, but it is now a palm tree-like styled plume of green, though I can see some colored hairs hidden deep in there. He has large oval eyes with blue-ringed irises and the glasses he wears have very thick lenses, probably because he's nearsighted. As well as his distinctive glasses, he wears the same metal spiked cuffs as the other Koopalings. The green of his shell is a lime-green hue that matches the look of his hair and purple spike-rings highlight the color perfectly.

"I know many things. But who really doesn't know of the Koopa King's Koopalings? You're famous."

"Daww..."

"I've met Roy and Ludwig, so you're the third Koopaling I've seen. What's your age?"

"Twenty-two."

"Nice. So what's this reward you spoke of?"

"Oh! Jr. promised ice cream from his special stash to the one who found you and brings you to him."

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

I kneel down and give my shoulder a pat.

"Okay, hop on."

He's confused.

"What?"

"I'm used to Jr. leading me around like I'm a Yoshi."

"Really? Heh...That's silly."

"I know. But he isn't heavy and it works."

"Oh, he won't get his grown-up weight for a while."

Now I'm the confused one and he uses this time to hop on.

"Mind explaining? I'm not well versed in Koopa biology."

He nods as I stand up and head back into the castle.

"The thing is that there are many different types of Koopas. There are about fifteen main species and then a ton of sub-species. Like Buzzy Beetle is the main class name but there are twenty-two different types of it, with normal Buzzy Beetle being original and the others are sub-classes. Make sense so far?"

"Yes. Please continue."

"Well, while we all share in this Koopa genetic line, evolution has made the Royal line of Koopas far different from everything else."

"How so?"

"Not much is really known about the species of Royal Koopa to which King Dad belongs to. Mostly because he won't let me experiment on the family."

"*giggles* That's cute."

"The only members right now are Bowser, Bowser Jr., we Koopalings, and the Minikoopas. The unique feature of our species is that our bellies are covered by peculiar plates not connected to their shells, our shells come in many colors and are spiked, plus our shells cover only our backs and not the whole body. Funny thing is, we can still retract into our shells and spin around in them. I have no idea how we do this, but it comes in handy as nothing can hurt us once we're in our shells. But the really weird thing is we can take our shells off."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah. But it's more of a private personal type thing. Unless we wear clothes underneath, then it's fine."

"Oh. So like underwear?"

"Yeah."

"Wait...Are you wearing some now?"

"Uh..."

He looks away and I blush averting my eyes to the floor. That was a regrettably awkward moment. Wait...Realization hitting...Oh my god! Everyone is naked! And there's a most likely nude boy on my shoulders!

"Um, anyway...Like the very similar Boom Booms, members of our species of Koopa stand upright and are typically much larger than most types of Koopas upon reaching adulthood. Even as a child, Bowser Jr. is almost as tall as a full-grown Koopa Troopa. However, my brother Lemmy is actually almost as small as a Toad while our younger brother Larry is bigger in size, showing that some variability in size exists among Koopas belonging to the Royal species. Our line is known for our strength, the ability to breathe out flames, super durability even as children, as well as magical powers. We typically are the leaders of the Koopa race. Unlike Koopa Troopas, Koopas like us belonging to Bowser's species do not have a visible beak but it is present in our skeleton."

"While super fascinating, what about the weight thing you said?"

"Our kind has a two-staged puberty before we are fully mature adults. The first stage is height related. When we're kids we're all pretty much the same, with no major discernible physical differences. Then as we grow, our genes begin to change us. This happens when we break Toad height."

"Let's see...Toads are 3'5'' tall. Jr. is 4'4'' and has traits similar to his father but according to you Lemmy is still in that Toad level of height so he's..."

"Yep. Despite his age, Lemmy's growth is stunted, being the runt of our brood. Thus his appearance is in our kid stage. Though he seems to be developing still, so he may get a growth spurt at some point."

"Does the kid stage have different colors in their hair?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"I read stories about how you used to look. Plus, when we met your hair was in my face, I could see some lingering colors in it."

"Oh. *bashful chuckles* I hit a growth spurt nine years ago. The colored hairs are still taking their sweet time falling out."

"Neat. What's the second stage of your puberty?"

"Oh! It's still connected to our height. The second stage begins when we break the six-foot barrier. That's when our bodies will begin to bulk up and we gain more density. This density gives us more durability, like lava resistance. Sure we can do that now, but an adult like Bowser can handle it so much better. Morton is at the beginning of this stage and his weight is starting to change. That's the reason we get heavier and not because of fat or anything stupid like Wendy thinks."

"As a girl, I bet that thought freaks her out."

"*snickers* It's hilarious to tease her about it."

"*giggles* Naughty boy. I approve."

"Thanks, Mama. Um...By the way, what is your name? Jr. was just calling you Mama."

"I'm Lynsie or Lynn if you prefer it. I come from the Mushroom Kingdom but am not of royal blood. I was an accidental grab by two of your King's men thinking I was Peach."

"Wait...We've been doing this whole 'kidnap Peach' thing for years. How did they think you were her?"

"I think they were new. Believe me, Bowser ripped into them about how dumb they were. It was scary."

"I believe you. He can be terrifying, but at the same time, the coolest guy ever!"

"From what I've seen...That's him alright."

He smiles and rests his head on top of mine.

"I like talking with you, Lynn."

"I like talking with you too, Iggy. You're highly intelligent."

"King Dad calls me 'the brainy one' of the bunch. I also see myself to be a capable inventor."

"Bowser must be proud to have such a boy."

"I'm looked on highly, but I'm just in the top five."

"He has a favorite list?"

"There's me, Wendy, Ludwig, Roy, and Jr. tops the list."

"...That's messed up."

"Not really. It makes us compete. We work hard to make ourselves better. But it's not like Morton, Lemmy and Larry are left out. King Dad rewards us all regardless of list position."

"Huh...Okay then. As long as everyone is happy."

"Mama!"

Jr. nearly knocks me over, I have to brace a wall to keep me and Iggy from hitting the ground.

"Whoa there, easy does it, sweetie."

"Jr. what the heck!?"

"Sorry. I was just so excited! Now I can show you off to the others."

"The others?"

Jr. grabs my hand and pulls us all the way to his room. There, all the Koopalings are assembled.

"Everybody! This is Mama Lynn."

A mix of greetings hit me.

"Mama, you already met Roy and Ludwig..."

"Sup sweetheart."

Roy smirks with a wink.

"Milady."

Ludwig bows in a princely manner.

I nod.

"This is Wendy..."

"Oh, hello."

Like most of the other Koopalings, Wendy O. Koopa has a tan-ish yellow skin, but she is unique in that her head is also this color, unlike Bowser and the other Koopalings, whose heads do not match their body scales. She stands at 5'2'' not counting her heels or bow. As the only female Koopaling, Wendy has obvious physical differences, but in terms of body, she appears to be most similar to Larry; the main difference being her thinning, feminine legs, and her overall height, that being taller than Larry. Wendy has a four-ribbed, plated belly, and her head is a very simple round shape. Her mouth is puffy, round and gives the impression that she is wearing pink lipstick; her cheeks are also very round and baby-faced. Even though she is the only female Koopaling, Wendy appears to be relatively bald; even though some of her brothers have full hair, though her eyebrows are brown, and like her eyelashes, extend off her face. Her eyes themselves are large and round, and her light blue irises are roughly the same as Larry's. Rather than wearing the spiked cuffs the male Koopalings have, Wendy has large, golden bracelets on her wrists. She usually wears a long, beaded, red necklace and thick, pink heels, as opposed to the other bare-footed Koopalings. A large pink bow with white polka-dots is also included in her appearance. Wendy's shell is pink, lined with a white encasing, and the multiple, short spikes are circled with gray rings.

"And Larry..."

"Yo miss lady ma'am!"

Larry Koopa is rather similar to his siblings, sharing the regular tan yellow skin and green head color. He is set apart by the blue star on the side of his head, which is similar to Morton's star and the stripes on the side of Lemmy's. He's a little shorter than Ludwig, standing at 5'3''. Larry has two, fang-like teeth in the upper corners of both sides of his snout, similar to Roy, along with a complete set of teeth. His mouth is feline-shaped, as his lips are deeply curved, and his nose is flat; it is relatively the same as Roy's aside from the jawline. He also has a plated belly and padded feet. He has large, oval eyes that are light blue, like Wendy. His head is oval-shaped as well. Larry can easily be recognized by his spiky, combed back hair, which is ice blue with highlights and blue roots. His shell is also light blue, lined with a white encasing, and the multiple, short spikes are circled with blue rings. He also wears the same metal, spiked cuffs as the other Koopalings.

"And Lemmy..."

"Hi there."

Lemmy Koopa has the same tan yellow skin, as well as a green oval-shaped head, that is disproportionately large compared to his small body and features a distinctive pair of orange bars on the left-side and a rainbow-colored Mohawk, that goes from yellow, magenta, cyan, yellow, magenta, to cyan, and ends in a long yellow ponytail that fades to a more orange hue at the tip. He has large, oval eyes that are often crossed or even pointing in opposite directions, although normally he keeps his eyes correctly aligned. He's the only Koopaling with visible eyes to lack colored irises. Lemmy is the smallest of all Koopalings, being only 3'5''. He wears the same spiked metal cuffs as his male siblings. He also has a three-ribbed plated belly and padded feet. His shell is a bright orange with yellow rings around the spikes.

"And this is Morton."

"Hello lady."

Unlike the other Koopalings, Morton Koopa Jr. has a dark brown-gray skin tone, except for his face, which is white. He also has a unique star mark on the left side of his face which is centered on his left eye and covers part of his snout and cheek. Morton has four, fang-like teeth in the upper corners of both sides of his large mouth; they are the same as Iggy's. He also has a four-ribbed, light, plated belly and a single pad on each foot. His shell is black, lined with a white encasing, and multiple, short, spikes are circled with light gray rings. He has small, circular-shaped gray eyes, like Ludwig's. He has a round head and a large and burly body, making him both taller at 6'0'' and broader than most of his siblings. Morton appears to be relatively hairless, except for three, thin, long, black hairs at the top of his head. He also has three-haired black eyebrows that extend outward from his face like Wendy's. Morton wears the same metal, spiked, cuffs as the other Koopalings.

"Hello everyone."

"So are you really our mom or is Jr. being weird?"

"Wendy!"

"It's fine sweetie, I'll answer it. No, I'm not your biological mother. Heck, I'm not even old enough to have birthed you considering I'm a year older than Ludwig and a one-year-old human can't have kids. I am Jr.'s new caretaker after a very poor Peach abduction. My name is Lynsie or Lynn if you like."

"And she's my girlfriend."

"*sigh* Wow Roy, have you learned nothing?"

"Shut it, Ludwig!"

"Your efforts of courting the fair flower are futile. Clearly, she has no interest in you."

"And what? Ya think you got a shot with her? Fat chance, you tone deaf dork!"

"Oh, it's on now!"

They start to quarrel.

"Do they normally do this Iggy?"

"You get used to it."

"Lady..."

Morton gets my attention.

"Yes, dear?"

"Can Morton have a hug?"

Now that's cute, he speaks in the third person.

"Sure dear. That's perfectly fine. Iggy, can you hop off?"

"If I must. You're quite comfy."

He slips off me and the second he's off Morton bear hugs me tight.

"Morton like hugs. Hugs are the best!"

"*giggles* You are so adorable!"

"Hey! Hands off my girl Morton!"

"Jealous?"

Now, this is cute. Morton knows fully what he's doing and Roy isn't happy. Ludwig seems a little miffed, but Jr. is the one most annoyed.

"Morton...Give me back my Mama!"

"Morton not done getting hugs yet."

"I want a hug next!"

"No, me next!"

"I call dibs!"

"I want to do her makeup!"

Oh, what fresh hell is this?

"Mama doesn't need makeup, Wendy."

"Yeah. She's already cute enough~."

"Morton think she's okay."

"Agreed. Milady is perfect as is."

"*scoff* You boys don't know a thing about beauty. A little lipstick, some eyeshadow, maybe some mascara and some blush...I can almost have her looking as good as me."

Please no. I hate girly stuff. Not like I'll say that out loud at the moment.

"Um, no thank you, Wendy. I appreciate the offer, but kindly I decline."

"Awww...You think you have a choice. That's so cute."

Oh no...Desperate action time.

"Ten crown coins to whoever keeps me from her for the rest of the day!"

The room goes silent before Roy bolts and yanks me from Morton.

"Hey! Morton not done!"

"Later suckers!"

Roy resembles a charging bull to me, nothing stands in his way and if something can't move fast enough he plows right through. Even while I'm tucked under his arm and the others give chase, I have to admit he's impressively strong. He skids into an open door after turning a corner and silently hides us behind the door. We listen as we hear the voices and stomping of the others as they pass by. Only when all is finally quiet do we breathe out a long-held breath and he puts me down.

"Thanks, Roy. A makeover is a worse fate than death to me."

"I can tell. You're not all girly like Wendy or Peach. I like that about ya."

I reach into my pockets for the coins.

"Keep your money. I don't want it."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"*sigh in relief* Thank goodness, I was bluffing about the crown coins. I don't really have that much money."

"Well to be fair, I'm not sayin' I don't want a reward. Just...a different one."

I can see where this is going.

"And what would you prefer as your reward?"

"Oh, nothing major..."

He slowly shuts the door with a smirk and I so saw this coming.

"Just a kiss."

I chuckle.

"I'll give you credit, you don't give up."

"It's not in a Koopa to just give up once we set our minds to somethin'."

"True. Otherwise, Bowser would've stopped kidnapping Peach ages ago. Such determination is an admirable quality."

"So, sugar...Mind givin' me my reward~?"

"Fine, a deal is a deal. But I want you to do one thing."

"And what's that?"

"Take your shades off."

He's taken by surprise.

"What? Why?"

"I want to see your eyes."

He blushes and looks off shyly.

"...And you'll really kiss me, right? No foolin'?"

"No fooling. My word is a promise, and I never break my promises."

He thinks about it for a moment. Then slowly he takes his shades off and moves closer to me.

"Well? What do ya think?"

"Dude...I'm swimming deep in two deep pools of awesome."

He flushes big time and I giggle, but then I jump when he slams his hands on either side of my head against the stone wall.

"Never mention this to anyone. Understand?"

I just nod and he frowns.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare ya."

"It's fine. I promise this will never be spoken of."

He smiles a little before leaning in and I close my eyes to accept his kiss.

"Mama!"

Jr.'s voice breaks Roy's concentration and he bashes his head into mine.

"Argh!"

"Ow ow ow ow!"

"Mama, are you in here?"

Roy puts his shades back on before Jr. enters the room and we rub our sore heads.

"There you are Mama."

"*wince* Hey sweetie."

Jr. looks at us confused.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine dear. Just give me a moment, I still need to pay Roy. So if you don't mind, wait outside please."

"Why?"

"Just do as she says, squirt!"

"Geez...You don't have to shout."

Jr. leaves the room, all be it even more confused and a tad suspicious.

"*mumbling* Dang squirt. How'd he find us anyway?"

"Aside from our groaning, I think the cracking of our skulls was loud enough."

"You're not hurt are ya?"

"From a little head bashing? Nah. I might be human, but I'm a tough cookie, remember? It takes more than that to make me crumble. You'd need milk to do that."

He laughs a bit and I give him a warm hug much to his surprise.

"Thanks for caring Roy..."

I use his shock to my advantage and kiss him quickly for a second or two.

"You can be my tough guy anytime."

I give him a playful wink and go off to see Jr. as Roy is stunned in place.

"She...Did she kiss me? She really kissed me. *slow building chuckles* Oh, heck yeah! She's so into me~."

[Outside the room]

"Was Roy weird with you, Mama?"

"No sweetie. Roy was not weird."

I pick Jr. up and head back towards his room.

"Why do you think Roy would be weird?"

"Because he's been weird to you before."

"Roy wasn't weird, he was just flirting with me."

"What's flirting?"

Oh my god, is this really a teenager and one that doesn't know what flirting is? Hell must have frozen over.

"Flirting is what you do when you like someone and you want them to know you like them."

"Like when you call me 'sweetie'?"

"No, but at the same time, yes. When I call you 'sweetie' I am being affectionate but in a platonic way, like friends."

"Oh."

"The way Roy is with me is affectionate but in a stronger way that is more than friends. Either that or he just enjoys messing with me. Make sense?"

"Not really."

"Okay...Think of the feelings Papa Bowser has for Mama Peach."

"Oh! *pauses for thought* Ewww! That's gross. Roy can't like my Mama Lynn."

"I might regret this...But why can't Roy like me?"

"Because Mamas belong with Papas."

I nearly trip out of the sheer level of cute and crazy that statement is.

"*snickers* What?"

"Mama Lynn should be with Papa. That's how families work."

"Jr. sweetie, even if I was your real Mama, Bowser would have to have feelings for me for a relationship to happen. And as just about everyone knows, your Papa loves Princess Peach. Not me. Plus I also need to have feelings for him. Otherwise, you're just forcing us together and that won't work."

"So, you don't like Papa?"

"I never said that. I like your dad, he's an okay guy. But I'm not in love with him. I barely know him."

"But Mama!"

He throws a hissy fit and I bite my tongue to keep from screaming at his spikes are digging into me.

"Sweetie...You can't force love. Now let's just enjoy the rest of the day and hope Wendy doesn't steal me away for icky girly junk."

Hopefully, a change of the subject/threat of my being away from him will avoid further talk about this.

"*groans* Okay..."

I nuzzle him into giggles as we enter his room. There we stay till meal times. It's awkward because Jr. keeps bringing up the whole 'Mamas and Papas' thing. Even Bowser tries explaining to Jr. the same things I told him. But even by the time dinner rolls around, we're still trying to get it through to him.

"But why?"

"Son, we already told you."

"But why?!"

"Sweetie, please. Just eat your food."

"But Mama..."

"She's not your 'mama'!"

"Papa..."

"No. No more of this! You can call her 'mama', but she is not your mother! And she never will be! Now stop this nonsense and eat your ice cream! *annoyed grumbles* It's not like it matters. She'll be gone in a month."

"Gone?"

Oh, dingus dang it.

"Mama, what does he mean?"

"*sigh* I am to remain here as your caretaker until the end of the month or till your dad finds someone better as per our agreement."

Sadness begins to show in his eyes.

"Y-You're...You're gonna leave?"

I shoot Bowser a glare of 'look what you started' and he flinches a little.

"No sweetie, I'm not leaving you. In fact, I'm going to sleep with you from now on to prove that I'm not going anywhere. Isn't that right, Bowser?"

I use his name to make a point which makes him glare a little at me before getting up from his seat and moving over to place a hand on Jr.'s head affectionately.

"Jr...She's not going anywhere."

Jr. sniffles with hope.

"R-Really?"

"Yes. Really. Unless she misbehaves or Mario takes her..."

"Mario will not touch my Mama Lynn!"

Jr. leaps across the table and tackles me in my seat.

"My Mama! Mine!"

I hug the adorable Prince.

"It's okay sweetie. I'm right here. Everything is fine."

Bowser looks at the scene with mixed emotions. He understands his son's actions more than anyone. The boy needs a mother and he's latched onto the first female to reciprocate him. It will be hard to separate the two. But once the princess is in his grasp the boy will be more than inclined to favor her over this common peasant girl. Still...It's not like she's all that bad. She's respectful and treats his son like a treasure. Even the Koopalings had good things to say about her. If she keeps going as is, he may keep her as a maid. But in no way will she ever be on the level with Peach in his eyes, no matter how much Jr. begs. It's just not happening. And yet...She does treat him nice. Nicer than Peach does. No! He can't think like this! He shakes his head of such thoughts.

"I'm going to bed."

Bowser begins to leave.

"Papa?"

"Yes, Jr.?"

"Bedtime hugs!"

Jr. slips away from me and leaps at his father, which Bowser catches him in his arms.

"Heh...Thanks, son."

"Wait! Mama, come hug Papa too."

I look at them unsure. No matter what is said, Jr. is intent on making his idea of a family on coming true. This is going to make things so awkward.

"Only if my King is okay with it."

Bowser looks at me, I'm being submissive and resuming a role of servitude, but he knows this is merely a front. He knows the fire that burns within me. Yet while the idea of a woman willingly bending to him is ego pleasing, he'd rather have it be real and not just to smooth things over. He sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Fine. You may hug me."

I make my way over to the father and son. With much caution and care, I put my arms around the pair. Jr. enjoys the tenderness, nuzzling into the two of us, making me nuzzle back. And Bowser...He smiles.

"Okay you goofballs, it's time for bed."

"Okay, Papa. Come on Mama. You're sleeping in my room."

Jr. drags me away.

"O-oh...Good night my King. I wish you sweet dreams."

He watches us disappear into the halls. Once in Jr.'s room, he launches himself into his bed.

"Jr., don't work yourself up before bed."

"But I always jump around before I sleep."

"How about a deal? If you lay down now, I'll sing you a lullaby. Sound fair?"

His eyes sparkle.

"Will you really?"

"Yes."

He plops down without a second thought.

"Sing for me, Mama."

"Okay, but uh...Do you sleep in your shell?"

"Oh! I forgot about it."

He gets under the covers and his shell hits the floor moments later before he pops his head out on the pillow. I hope he's got undies on.

"Alright, Mama. I'm all ready for bed."

"Very true. Just give me a moment."

I pick his shell off the floor and put it on a stool, then take my shoes off before moving over to his king-sized bed.

"You have a big bed."

"Papa's is bigger. It's like this big!"

He holds his arms out wide.

"Yeah, Bowser would need a huge bed."

"Lullaby time now, Mama."

"I know sweetie."

I get cozy under the covers and he snuggles up to my chest.

"Let's see. Which one to sing? *thinking* Oh! I got one. *ahem* _Lavender blue, dilly dilly, and Rosemary green. When you are king, dilly dilly, I shall be queen. Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? 'Twas mine own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so. Rosemary green, dilly dilly, Lavender blue. You must love me, dilly dilly, because I love you. Call up your men, dilly dilly, set them to work. Some to the plow, dilly dilly, some to the fork. Call up my maids at four o'clock, dilly dilly, some to the wheel and some others to the rock. Some to make hay, dilly dilly, some to shear corn. Whilst you and I, dilly dilly, keep ourselves warm. Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, Rosemary green. When you are king, dilly dilly, I shall be queen. Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? 'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so. Rosemary green, dilly dilly, Lavender blue. You must love me, dilly dilly, because I love you._ "

A soft snore purrs on me and I smile down on the sleeping prince.

"Sweet dreams young lord. *head kiss* May your sleep be full of love and happiness."

That lullaby did its job and then some. I let out a yawn before shutting my eyes and let sleep take me. Not knowing that on the other side of the bedroom door, the King of Koopas heard everything. Such sweetness. It was adorable. She really seems to care about his boy. Yep, his mind was made up. He was so keeping her as a caretaker/maid once Peach became his queen. Yeah...That will totally work out.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.** **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	5. Required game manual info dump plot time

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The first week leading to Peach's birthday has had the castle all aflutter with hustle and bustle. Bowser has kept himself busy for the most part, I only get to see him at meal times or random passes in the halls. My time is mainly with Jr. and the Koopalings. The boys really get along well with me, a trait I've had since my childhood, and they've done a great job with keeping me away from Wendy but not all the time. I do feel bad that I'm purposely avoiding her but I don't enjoy girl stuff at all and I'd rather her not like me than for her to use me as a guinea pig. Yet even in a short time, I have come to understand the many personalities of this family I'm tied into for a month.

To start off, old Kammy...Although outright disrespected by Bowser quite often, usually directly in her presence, Kammy appears totally devoted to him and is often shown in his company. With how bad it gets sometimes, I wonder whether it's harder for Kammy to put up with Bowser, or vice versa. The old Magikoopa is also somewhat vain, believing herself to be beautiful beyond compare, saying her name is beautiful and often describing herself as such. Kammy can also be unintentionally comical at times and she occasionally shows signs of senility. But other than that, not a bad person...so long as you don't insult her or make fun of her age. Kammy has a variety of powers, doing such feats as summoning Yellow Blocks and living creatures, using magical lightning which could cancel the effects of things like the Sneaky Parasol and the ability to teleport, plus the usual Magikoopa ability to shoot a magical blast. She's also showed some expertise at mechanics, apparently being the one who built Bowser's Power Platform when he stole the Star Rod. She also can bestow different powers to herself and Bowser, not sure it's that's her limit on that, as well as using healing spells.

Then the sorcerer supreme, not too old Kamek...Kamek is academic, as he owns is a library and is capable of building complicated machines. I've asked to take a look at his books but he told me no because I "don't have clearance". It is somewhat hinted that Kamek likes to act feminine. He once remarked about how cute a dress based on Princess Peach's is while calling the Magikoopa robes drab. Furthermore, he sometimes uses feminine pronouns when talking about himself but he is trying to correct that habit. Kamek interacts far more with Bowser than with any other person except maybe Jr.. He seems to serve the role of a father figure to Bowser since it was largely Kamek who raised him since infancy and is very loyal and protective to the King. Likewise, Kamek also seems to view Bowser as being almost like a son to him. Much of his time is spent ensuring the welfare and comfort of Bowser. Bowser seems to show much more respect to his elderly guardian than to anyone else except Jr., and does not insult him at all; completely contrasting his relationship with Kammy. In two instances, when Bowser was a baby, he attacked Kamek for waking him up from his sleep; something I can relate to doing myself. These were the only known times Bowser has ever attacked Kamek and once he grew into an adult, Bowser has respected Kamek ever since then. Oddly enough, Kamek once betrayed Bowser because he was being unfair, though the Koopa King forgave him later. However, Bowser may still be mad about the betrayal, as he sometimes becomes easily impatient with Kamek and will, albeit very rarely, ignore his advice and simply call him 'Minion', which often leaves Kamek annoyed and making a snarky remark. Regardless of this, Bowser is generally respectful of Kamek and appreciative of his loyalty and efforts, granting Kamek with the trust of progression of his plans more than any other of his minions, possibly even more so than Jr. which is mind-blowing.

Now the Koopaling, starting with Larry...Like the other Koopalings, not much of Larry's personality shines at first glace, but once you hang out with them, so much more is revealed in good chunks. He is prone to aggressive tendencies sometimes and has a short temper when annoyed, this may also have earned him his apparent position as head of the Koopa Troop special forces. I do see he has a serious case of little brother syndrome, suggesting that he feels overshadowed by or inferior to his older siblings. He also seems to have an interest in sports, as he uses bombs as bowling balls, he uses a tennis racket to hit his own fireballs, and he performs a special glider trick when riding inward drifting bikes. Despite this interest, to my knowledge, he has never been invited to any of Mario's sports games. Larry is hooked on Equestrianism and can't seem to stop talking about it once the subject is brought up. He does have a slightly vain side to himself as he cares about the look of his hair. He may have an interest in video games as Roy, after he and Wendy fail to get Larry to help them, says that he is "probably off playing video games or something." Much like myself, he doesn't possess a lot of stamina, as once he was quite far behind his family trying to catch his breath, while his siblings were trying to help Bowser up off the ground after a failed battle with Mario. Although, this may be due to the fact that he often resides in World 1, presumably the furthest world from Bowser's Castle in World 8. He also frequently gets dizzy after spinning when he attacks by spinning his shell, a trait I find cute. To seem tough for his size, Larry speaks in a masculine manner while thinking lowly of the Mushroom World's kings and suggesting he and his siblings only follow orders because they don't want Bowser to yell at them. Larry can also be quite taunting and arrogant, such as believing Mario won't deduce his weaknesses. He also had a strange accent where he pronounces "th-" syllables with "d" syllables, but he has since fixed his speech. Larry will attempt to talk his way out of being defeated when sensing that someone is about to defeat him, he will cheat if you're not looking. He sometimes goes to the Electrodrome race track and plays as a disk jockey, implying that he may have an interest in that profession or an interest in music in general, much like the rest of the family. He also operates a business known as "Larry's Lights", which based on the name implies that he does some electrician or pyrotechnic work. As mentioned before about him cheating, he's been called "cheatsy devil" or just plain "cheatsy" and an experienced schemer. He was accused of being a flirt by Blue Toad, as he and his brother caught Larry hitting on their mother. He is something of a glutton, as evidenced by his having Mario prepare a massive steak and specifically requesting that he wants the best-prepared steak, the fact that he uses the train's chimney to revive stamina via hearts that a Shy Guy was delivering to him, and upon being beaten his deeply considering getting some lamb chops. Larry also makes clear that his motives for hijacking the train to get the Orange Big Paint Star is specifically to avoid upsetting Bowser, although in this case, he claims he pities Bowser when he's upset due to citing that his disappointed face was "heartbreaking". When he was defeated, Larry ends up stating he'll have to go on the lam due to failing Bowser, feeling he can't face him ever again, although the term "lam" caused him to think of getting lamb chops. When winning a racing medal, Larry feels that his horse should at least get something for his hard work, and implies that he intends to get the horse carrots as his way of thanking it. Larry is sneaky, unfair, and devious. Larry acts tough as the first guard but shows cowardice once he's shown a Fire Flower. Like Ludwig, he is also into horror to some degree, as he has cave called "Larry's Scary Lair". The cave itself is very dark and the entrance states, "THIS MINE IS MINE". That tagline may also indicate a greedy side to him, since Larry is very possessive of his belongings. While the most stories I've read don't reveal much about the relationship between Larry and his siblings, I have seen that Larry has some kind of admiration for Ludwig, that he tries to imitate although he still isn't able to replicate all his moves without getting dizzy. He always fights with Ludwig in battles and is never seen alone with his other siblings, furthermore, he also shows more respect towards him than his brothers, calling him boss and accepting to have him as his lead even after Ludwig's leadership among the Koopalings has been questioned.

Next is Morton...Even though Morton is proudly more brawn than brains, similarly to Roy, the boy is astute enough to realize whether there are any possible setbacks regarding defeating Mario and can likewise report the information to Bowser. Furthermore, when Iggy and Lemmy are eager to fight the Mario Bros., Morton was the one that reminds them that the plumber brothers had just wiped out Wendy, Larry, Ludwig, and Roy beforehand. He also seems to be very protective of his siblings, as when Iggy and Lemmy are left disabled due to their attacks on the Mario Bros. backfiring, Morton declares his intention of avenging them. From what I can tell, he seems to tone down his thoughtful wording to make himself seem angry, a trait which Morton is said to be a grouch with a cantankerous personality. Morton may have an interest in construction, as there are advertisements for "Morton's Construction" with Morton's face on it. Curiously, in Ice Ice Outpost many containers and machines present the Morton or Morton Construction logo on them, suggesting that his company is collaborating with the Toads of the Toad Polar Expedition. Along with construction, one of his stunts when racing include him flexing his muscles, which indicates that he likes showing off his strength. This latter trait, along with the preference of brawn over brains, is exacerbated when he boasts about his strength and weight while talking in an unintelligent loud and simple manner, such as saying "MORTON STRONG! MORTON MORE TONS!". Honestly, it's super adorable. In his youth, he was called "Big Mouth" and was extremely talkative, to the point of never seeming to know when to stop talking, which continuously forced Roy to interrupt him. He was also extremely arrogant in regards to his intelligence, as well as exceptionally ignorant regarding the actual facts of the world, and he never accepted responsibility for being wrong, preferring to blame others instead. He was also known to make cutting remarks, which were severe enough to even make his Bowser cry if directed at him. He was largely sarcastic and wise-cracking in those days.

Then there's Wendy...Wendy is very desiring of wealth and prestige; she is often seen as a spoiled brat, and she even thinks of herself as Bowser's favorite child. She does whatever she can to impress Bowser and likes to be congratulated for her bad deeds. This lead to the King often calling her "cutie pie" but her brothers, mostly Roy, would then taunt her by calling her "Kootie Pie". She is prone to a very short temper over little things and can be violent when provoked. This latter trait is further confirmed when after being hit by debris coming from a rock broken by mistake by Roy when fighting the Mario brothers and their paper doubles, she gets angry at Roy and fights him instead of the plumbers. She seems to have a bit of a rivalry with Roy, as she makes some smart remarks at Roy's expense every now and again. Despite these traits, she can be nice toward the people she doesn't know, to the point of giving them one of her ribbons. Often times when I roam the halls, I can hear her singing. Wendy tends to act exceedingly girlish, perhaps in a mocking manner. While she doesn't have her own billboard advertising her company like her brothers, a map for Super Bell Subway lists her company as "Wendy's Interior Designs", implying that she holds an interest in interior decorating for various locales. Yet despite this, her brothers tell me she is a "strong-minded, intrusive tomboy". The tomboyish traits are reconfirmed to me by the boys, claiming that Wendy had to learn to be tough, growing up as the only female among the Koopalings. Which I suppose makes sense. She is somewhat giddy, although obviously not to the same extent as Iggy. Also, she is shown to be somewhat surly and loves disco dances. She seems to love water, as she rules in regions that deal with water and has a tendency to utilize underwater combat when fighting. Her favorite sporting event is the 100m Freestyle, which also shows her love of water, and that she's an experienced swimmer. Wendy is concise, thoughtful and studious regarding threats she hasn't encountered before. From what some of her brothers have told me, Wendy has an apparent affection for the Mario Bros. and will sometimes uses her rings to keep them captive. She'll show both brothers a mild affection, calling Mario "Honey" and Luigi "Luigi-kins" much to the dismay of her family. After being beaten by her crushes, she consoles herself of having lost to either of them by being snarky, stating things like she finds it cute that they play hard to get, concluding with a titter after having said that. There was even an instance where she was also transformed by Larry into a blonde human with a beauty mole on her right cheek called "Lady Fettuccine Alfredo" that Mario fell for, though they forgot to make her tail disappear yet Mario didn't seem to notice till that plan backfired big time thanks to Luigi. She seems to have a rivalry with Peach and Daisy. which Her Boxing Ring titles also state that she is bold, bossy, and big-headed. Wendy can be treacherous, although her actions depict her as being fanatically devoted to Bowser and his cause. Wendy is arrogant regarding her skills, and also somewhat respectful regarding her opponents. However, she also makes clear that she doesn't like losing and that, while she will accept a loss, she expects a rematch in return, where she says things like they'll fight again for the "third, fourth, fifth time". She also considers herself a sassy heroine and is quick to claim that Peach and Daisy didn't count as such.

Then there's my buddy Iggy...Although known for his intelligence as well as how much he studies and knows, Iggy is more often known for his own frivolous personality, as if he was insane people call him things like demented and crazed. This trait is manifested through his enthusiasm sometimes ending up in hyperactivity as well as by his typical happy facial expressions accompanied by very frequent laughter. The enthusiasm and hyperactivity manifest themselves in the subsequent higher agility as well as in the one-armed handstand he's able to perform. He also frequently runs around and even runs and stands upside-down, although a few of his stunts have him jumping out of his kart and running in place, or being too excited that he flails about on his bike as if he's about to fall off. The frequent laughter, on the other hand, is a more consistently displayed trait. He has a crazed laugh that can be creepy but also makes you want to join in. I've heard him laughing at the animal noises outside and laughing exhilaratingly during the battle. He can be heard giggling and laughing through various parts of the castle. Similarly, he shouts as if he's rather excited when fighting, unlike the other Koopalings. The laughter can sometimes be a way to mock people, even when they are supposed to feel fear. This aspect of the laughter is where he cackles and deduces that an opponent is getting nervous about his upcoming fight against him, and then there's the laughter that's often accompanied by mockery, sometimes directed at the fear the enemy is supposedly having of him. Indeed, he also likes to provoke opponents with a joking attitude, such as when he smacks his rear end in front of his adversary. I'll admit, that takes guts, but it's why he has the nickname "the spectacled spanker". Even while racing, he will taunt with laughter when he manages to hit someone with one of his items. He has his own Chain Chomp pet, that is surprisingly sweet, but he is rather neglectful and abusive towards his pet, as he left it wandering in his castle until it was lost, starving, and stuck in a grate for one month before its encounter with Mario and his friends, and he even calls it "stupid" for getting itself lost. He considers himself to be smart and, through his calculations which consists of various doodles with mathematical symbols, believed he figured out how to defeat his foes. Though he claims he could easily beat Mario, he feels that would be boring and goes along with things as they usually do, often having his Chain Chomp fight instead. In his youth, Iggy was quite childish in personality, and he often pulled pranks instead of causing true crimes. He mostly hung around with Lemmy back then, the two would pull pranks together and cause trouble, acting childish and speaks completely in rhyme and cannot stand still. Like with rest of his siblings Iggy has is own business, he has a glass manufacturing company, Iggy's Glass, which according to its slogan, produces glass for windshields. He's something of a trickster, taking a calmer demeanor and not nearly as frivolous as he was, but once around Lemmy that all crumbles. Iggy can be pretty arrogant and prone to mocking Mario, claiming that Mario should look at a mirror to see "the look on his face" when he shows up and refers to himself as "[Mario's] frustratedly overpowered opponent" and derisively refers to Mario as both "pretty boy" and "paper pusher" and taunts him by slapping his behind. Finally, he's shown to be something of a graceful loser, as he willingly allows Mario get away upon being beaten, although not without feeling humiliated at losing on his own "home turf".

Of course, there's my bro Roy...Obviously he likes speaking in slang. It goes well with him being a typical bully who usually beats people up for his own amusement, hence his nickname "Bully". Regardless, he is nonetheless depicted as preferring his brawn over his brains, as evidenced by his method of attacks and especially by his opinion that books are dumb. Despite this, he has started going to night school because knowledge is power and, as a consequence, he shows some degree of planning. His knack for planning helps when he specifically deters the Mario Bros. from beating him easily. He also has at least some degree of common sense, as he acknowledges the possibility of Bowser being somewhat naïve. But after seeing him, it seems to that he has a combination of both the aforementioned personalities, as well as hinting that he is pretty quick to act as a soldier when the situation calls for it. There are also hints that he may have a thing of acting or looking cool, such as his trademark shades, his advertisements, and his driving the Badwagon which is pink and with many pink lights even in the dashboard, like Roy's main color, and features many different stereo speakers, lights and a "Roy Smooth Sounds" logo. This could imply that his scoundrel behavior is an act. The advertisement and Badwagon may also suggest that he likes listening to music. This is further evidenced by the company "Roy Smooth Sounds". Like his brother Morton, one of Roy's stunts has him showing off his muscles, hinting that he may enjoy things that involve strength, and, with his exclamations of "Yeah-yuh!" and "Uh-huh!," further adds to his "coolness" factor. In addition, he tends to roar in a way like Bowser, probably to show off. Some of his behavior indicates to me that he enjoys employing dirty tactics. His love of fighting dirty was in the Color Splash story, where Roy managed to steal Mario's color and "give it back" as ammo for his paint launcher before eventually blacking out the area with black paint, with Huey after the fight yelling that his actions of using Mario's own paint against him was disgraceful, citing there were treaties prohibiting such actions. His love of the color pink may be considered a subversion of his personality, although it could be a reference to the popular depiction of pink as a manly color, though he will wear purple sometimes stating it's a royal color and is deadly. He was also shown to be somewhat sarcastic and maintains a large amount of faith in the success of Bowser's plans even if he himself ends up defeated. His usage of a Bill Blaster also implies that he likes using firearms. Despite his overall demeanor, he does ultimately have a sensitive side, and his words after being defeated once were his stating that he "regretted everything".

Then there's tiny Lemmy...Lemmy is an immature, fun-loving child, and can bring out the childlike innocence in others. He is also known as the "Clown Prince of Koopas", and would apparently prefer to join the circus rather than commit crimes and conquest. He is already somewhat clownish in how he loves balancing on top of his rubber ball. His love for the circus is also mirrored in the interior of his airship as it resembles the inside of a circus tent and he appeared as the ringleader of the Emerald Circus. His childish and clownish traits are also evident when kart racing, where some of his stunts have him performing a handstand on the handle of his bike or ATV, or jumping out of his kart and flailing his arms in excitement. When losing a race, he is seen crying while kicking his feet in frustration. He seems to have a passion for the cold and ice as he was the ruler of Ice Land for a time, as well as the guardian of World 3. He tends to rely on tricks and gadgets rather than his own prowess, such as his helicopter pack. His kid-like nature fits in with him having a squeaky, high-pitched voice. When he was younger, Lemmy also spoke in a manner similar to that of a young child and would do his own thing, no matter what anyone else thought, the latter trait he still has to this day. Like his siblings, he also has a company called "Lemmy's Tire Service", which implies that, besides the circus, he also has an interest in automobile repairs. Surprisingly, I got the boy to confess something interesting...While he is loyal to Bowser, Lemmy willingly betrayed him once, due to the fact that he and Mario ended up becoming friends at the end of an adventure. The Koopaling even went as far as telling Mario the secret to Bowser's defeat and supplying the hero with Fire Flowers. Though it seemed like Lemmy forgot about the friendship later on, with him happily greeting Mario before throwing a barrage of bombs, Lemmy assured Mario in the end that he had not forgotten the events from last time and they remained on good terms with each other. While capable of causing real chaos, he is more mischievous than truly evil, preferring to simply play pranks instead of causing havoc much like his brother Iggy. Sometimes Lemmy can be somewhat childish and unintelligent to a point, but he is more keen on simply helping Bowser and trying to gain his appreciation then actually causing evil. The unintelligent aspect came from when Bowser read the Koopalings the riot act once for their letting Peach escape due to the latter tricking them, Bowser specifically exempted Lemmy from blame specifically because Bowser knew Lemmy was "a blithering idiot". He has since tried to prove his father wrong, adopting a somewhat crazed in demeanor complete with sarcasm and becoming much more menacing on some occasions. He uses this charm of his to sometimes attempt to lure his enemies into siding with Bowser and has tried with Luigi several times.

Let's not forget maestro Ludwig...Ludwig the eldest of the Koopalings, is precocious and conceited, getting enraged when ignored. He's somewhat of a show-off, both when he introduces himself and when he does battle. This latter trait can be also noted when he performs impressive flips and twirls when riding bikes or karts. Ludwig laughs off the threat posed by the Mario Bros., suggesting he underestimates Mario, a trait he himself starts to acknowledge as time has passed. He thinks of himself as the Koopalings' leader, to which most of the other Koopalings deny but go along with anyway. He has also stated to himself having been "dethroned" after Bowser Jr. was born, so he may be jealous of no longer being the apple of Bower's eye. Oddly enough, he is only Koopaling to be referred to by his minions as "Your Evilness", a title similar to the ones given to Bowser. Regardless of his title, Ludwig is the only Koopaling explicitly stating to have worked on his own motive rather than to fulfill Bowser's plans and shows a more humble and respectful attitude when suffering defeat, contradicting previous the arrogant depictions I've read about. On the other hand, he can be the most cynical of his siblings, as he expresses disbelief that Princess Peach would ever agree to marry Bowser. Another aspect of Ludwig is his love of classical music and his interests in composing. He can be seen waving a conductor's baton in his room and calls himself the "Conductor of Chaos". He's also been called a "Showy Anti-Hero", stating that he is a show-off, but maybe he isn't all bad. He plans to compose his own victory theme should he win a race, and the enjoys composing "Koopa Symphonies", although some would state that they sound horrendous. When he was younger he was at least partially deaf for a time, as he claims he could finally hear after an explosion "shook something loose in [his] brain". He will perform a stationary march from time to time, revealing his sense of rhythm. According to graffiti of his hair and the list of the points of interests in Super Bell Subway, Ludwig might also be into art, as there's a place called "Ludwig Painting", also mentioned in the graffiti. Depending on who you ask, Ludwig is considered the most intelligent of the Koopalings, he even designed his own warship. He has been given the role of an inventor as well, like he worked as the mechanic for the KoopAir airline service. As a kid he was really into science, this earned him the nickname of "Kooky" as he acted like a stereotypical mad scientist whose main purpose was to invent new doomsday weapons and gadgets for his father. It's funny, the more I hear about how childish he was like how he would commonly burst out into maniacal laughter or raise his voice by shouting in the middle of talking and seemed to be very aggressive or care much about his hygiene, never washing or combing his hair, the more his current more refined personality and vocabulary show a vast contrast in his development. Ludwig has an ear-pleasing German accent that likes to linger in my head. When the mood strikes, he can be very laid-back in tone and show some eccentric "cool musician" mannerisms.

Then there's the young Prince...Bowser Jr. can be summed up as a bold and energetic troublemaker. His troublemaking side is seen as he tricks Mario any chance he gets and how he managed to scam me into giving him my last chocolate chip cookie. Bowser Jr. inherited his father's bad attitude and his motto of "Grin and bear it. When that don't work, grin and crush it.". He can be bratty, spoiled, and short tempered. His favorite hobbies are stealing cookies, causing trouble for people, and scribbling which may explain the widespread Graffiti that was made at Isle Delfino. However, he seems determined to defeat Mario in a fair fight in order to prove his power, a trait Bowser and I admire. Despite this, he is also occasionally lazy due to riding his Junior Clown Car around when he can easily walk or he uses me as a mount. He's also quite bright, I'd even say he can be brainier than his father. He also has a habit, when energized or excited, of jumping from one foot to the other. In fact, he seems to have a hard time standing still for very long, suggesting he's hyperactive. He absolutely hates losing, and usually accuses his opponents of cheating or simply winning through luck, I know I hate losing too but I'd rather lose than be walloped again for winning. This also extends to how he sees his opponents: he refused to believe it was simply Mario's own skill that leads to his defeat again and again and claimed that it was only because of his items that he gets the upper hand over him. As a result, he craves the respect and acknowledgment of others, especially his father, and resents being looked down upon because of his age or size. He's quite fearless when attacking his father's enemies, although even he can be frightened into retreating when things go disastrously wrong in battle. In particular, he seems to have little to no fear of heights, as he himself states he enjoys doing dangerous stunts on his airborne vehicles like standing on the rim of his Clown Car's cockpit or balancing on the bowsprits of airships. He's a braver soul than me, I can't stand heights without being paranoid and I must never tell him this. He also seems fascinated by big, dangerous machines such as robots, and mechanized vehicles which he often employs in his fights against Mario. He seems to have a hand in designing at least some of the machines he uses, such as the pinball machine. He can be obsessive about little details in the things that he makes as well as never being quite satisfied with his own work. Sometimes he'll add details because he thinks they're "cool" only for him to have second thoughts about their practicality. Despite his love of doing evil, Bowser Jr. does seem to occasionally flirt with the idea of being a hero. He seems to see his rescue of Princess Peach from the "bad man" Mario as a heroic deed, and he persuades his dad to let him pretend to be a hero in some parties Mario invites them to, however, he may just enjoy the positive attention more than actually doing good deeds. Despite all of his arrogant personality traits, I do see that he harbors a lonely side that he doesn't let other people know about. This aspect of his personality was explored in greater depth with his friendship to Paper Bowser Junior, and the depths the two go to try to keep Paper Bowser Jr. from being forced to return to his own world. It is unknown where the Koopalings stand to him in that respect. He also seems more willing to swallow his pride than his father, such as when he convinced Bowser to accept an invitation to a party after their defeat in Mario, or when he begged me to help him clean up a really bad mess before his father found it at the cost of his dessert for a couple days.

And lastly the big bad boss himself...Based on the books I've read, Bowser is made out as a typical villain without much personality beyond simply wanting to take over the Mushroom Kingdom. Later tales began showing various different aspects of Bowser's character, depending on the nature of the plot. While his basic role continues to be that of a simple antagonist, his party antics typically depict him being more angry, childish, and mischievous than dangerous, and his portrayals in the stories of when another threat attacks Peach he ranges from a threatening, yet humorous villain to a playable anti-hero. Even when Bowser is acting as a protagonist in such ways, however, he continues to insist he is an evil character, and his reasons for helping Mario are typically for his own selfishness. Bowser's personality is explored most extensively in the various alternate antagonist stories, starting with the first one, Legend of the Seven Stars, in which Bowser loses his castle to another villain. As well as the grief he expresses over his castle, Bowser is shown to be as upset as the others about their ally Geno's body breaking down, and at one point, his boasting takes the form of a haiku. As in later tales, however, most of Bowser's actions are self-centered, with his motivation for joining the heroes solely being to reclaim his stolen castle and prevent another villain from taking over the world that he himself desires. This reasoning is also behind Bowser's alliance with Mario and the others in the Prophecy of the Pure Hearts adventure, after the somewhat oblivious Koopa King is reminded that he can't conquer anything if the other villain's plans to destroy all worlds come to fruition. While Bowser is shown to take pride in his villainy and boasts of being a quality 'final boss' throughout the adventure, he seemingly sacrifices himself to save Mario and the others, and even argues with his rival O'Chunks to save himself while Bowser held the crumbling roof above them although it is later revealed that they both survived. He is also shown to be as horrified as the others when witnessing the Sammer's Kingdom's destruction, a sharp contrast to his attitude in the Galaxy adventures, where he is willing to create his own galaxy at the expense of the universe. In the Galaxy stories, Bowser is painted as a typical villain, as does the most recent strike he did called Color Splash. Bowser is normally cast as the main antagonist of these stories, however, like with most stories where he is not the main threat, this portrayal is more well-rounded, introducing a humorous side to Bowser alongside his evilness, and revealing his crush on Peach to the public eye. Bowser's affection for the Princess is later showcased in Prophecy of the Pure Hearts, with the two being forcibly wed in the adventure by the main antagonist; while the Princess disavows the ceremony, Bowser happily and persistently acts as if they are indeed spouses. Bowser's relationship with Peach also comes into play in the attack on Isle Delfino, in which Bowser's son apparently believes her to be his mother, although, at the end, Bowser sadly admits that he had lied to his child about his parentage. Aside from this, Bowser has never shown remorse for his troublesome actions and the havoc they often cause, but he is often saddened by his own losses. In the Galaxy tales, his only regret is his failure to create his own realm, and in the Terror of the Dark Star, he is upset about having to damage his own captured castle as he tried to reclaim it from Fawful. By contrast, in fourth party Mario threw for all he knows, Bowser grudgingly giving the winner a present and wishing them a happy birthday as he leaves in shame, making one of the Koopa Kids to wonder if there might be more to Bowser than he leads others to believe, as Bowser claimed to be somewhat happy. Unlike the basic stories and the other more detailed tales, Bowser's role is reduced to a dim-witted comic relief villain in quest of The Thousand-Year Door, where he tries and fails to collect the Crystal Stars before Mario. The Superstar Saga and Partners in Time stories also cast Bowser as a comical recurring secondary villain, with Partners in Time having him team up with Baby Bowser, whom he did not even recognize as being his infant self. Despite being the central character of Terror of the Dark Star, the story reveals nothing new about Bowser's character, but it does provide an overview of his personality to date. His reasons for saving the world from Fawful and the Dark Star involve pride, selfishness, and possessiveness toward Peach. He is extremely conceited and boastful about himself and his accomplishments, and he resents having to ask nicely for help from Starlow. He acts as a leader to his troops and forgives them for joining Fawful, but his usual rashness and his penchant for destruction and violence come to a head when he flies into a rage upon discovering that Mario and Luigi had been helping him the entire time from within his body. He attacks them and is promptly defeated, mere moments after the three had worked together to save the world. In The Dream Stone Nightmare, however, he was given more competence as well as made into more of a threat, including having Kamek disguising himself as Princess Peach to drop the Mario Bros.' guard, anticipating they would try to pursue Peach, and later back-stabbed Antasma, anticipating the latter would try to possess him or backstab him in turn. He later implied similar designs with his Paper self, and vice-versa, in Paper Plumber Problems. In the tale of Dance Dance Revolution, Bowser is not the main antagonist of the story, but he is the final boss. Once Mario and Toad regain all four Music Keys and return them to Truffle Towers, Bowser arrives and steals them all. Mario and Toad, in the SS Brass, follow him, dodging Bowser's Bullet Bills. When Mario and Toad enter the castle, Bowser attempts to harness the power of the Music Keys for his own purposes, but finds that they are gone. Toad, standing on a ledge with Mario, then reveals that they stole the keys back from him. Angered, Bowser challenges Mario to a dance-off. The battle consists of the player and Bowser dancing to the Mario Kart: Double Dash! Bowser's Castle music. Bowser is attacked by collecting rocket pieces, which replace some dance steps, to build rockets that contain hammers which smash Bowser flat. Near the end of the song, another such rocket flies in and hammers Bowser out of his castle. Defeated, the Koopa King admits that he only wanted the keys as a remedy for his tone-deafness. Before Mario and Toad leave, Mario uses the power of the keys to turn Bowser's Castle and the land surrounding it into a paradise. Afterward, the three start dancing, and cannot stop; Toad explains that, when they recaptured the keys, some music was implanted into their souls. In Color Splash story, Bowser, owing to his being possessed by the black paint for most of the event, was given a far darker personality, namely making clear his intention of 'painting the world black', and even going as far as to not only drain Peach's color and hang her colorless form up for display, but when Mario and Huey arrived to fight him in his chambers, he even cracked a dark joke about Peach claiming she was 'framed' when he caught her sending messages to Mario. It was also revealed that he deliberately sent a drained Toad via the mail to Peach and Mario in order to lure them, and specifically Peach, over to Prism Island so he could abduct her. However, after Mario weakened the black paint's hold on Bowser enough for Bowser's usual self to surface, Bowser, understandably, was deeply confused as to Mario's presence, and is clearly unaware of what he was doing all this time. While his range of emotions varies from story to story, it is his nearsightedness, frustration, anger, arrogance, and contempt that typifies Bowser in all his appearances, whether he is a reluctant protagonist or a straightforward villain who cares only about conquering lands and destroying his opposition.

With so many crazy personalities under one roof, it's amazing none of them have gone nuts yet...I mean more than some already are. But as of right now, I've got some time to myself. Jr. had a big lunch and is down for a nap. So needing my own space for a bit, because I never know how long these moments last, I wander the halls of Koopa Castle looking for something to do.

The castle staff doesn't take note of me at this point, as long as I don't seem suspicious they have no reason to bug me. It's rather nice to stroll along without a care for once, but I do need to do something, and maybe work in a bath while I'm at it. I haven't gotten a chance to really wash up as of late.

"*sniff* Not noticeable, but not good either. Where were the showers around here again?"

"Ahh...Dude, that hot spring is amazing."

I hear a Minikoopa say what now? I ease drop on a passing pair as they pass by.

"Hey, not so loud. If Wendy finds out we're using her secret spring, we're dead meat."

Opportunity, I hear you knocking.

"Yeah, that would be a shame, yes?"

They jump nearly out of their shells and glare at me.

"What do you want human?"

"The hot spring. Take me there."

They get nervous and twitchy.

"Spring? What spring? We don't know nothing about no spring. Do we bro?"

"Yeah, we don't know anything about Wendy's secret hot spring."

"You dummy!"

"What did I say?"

I snicker at the pair and they know the jig is up.

"So you two, can you take me there?"

"And why should we do that?"

Time to be evil with the best tool of all.

"You don't want Wendy to find out, correct? You take me, I won't tell."

"That's blackmail!"

"No duh. Now then, do we have a deal?"

They grumble slight curses under their breath and begrudgingly head back from whence they came, but with me following them. This gets me thinking on something Iggy said once. How the Minikoopas are in the same line as Bowser, Jr., and the Koopalings. Which, now seeing them, makes a lot of sense.

The Minikoopas are minions of Bowser who he only seems to let help him during Mario's party events. The Minikoopas resemble miniature versions of Bowser and are therefore very similar in appearance to Bowser Jr. as well. This close resemblance is the cause of many to believe they were children of Bowser himself. They are Bowser's cohorts and seem to be in the same species line, but like the Koopalings, the ambiguity is unclear if Minikoopas are specifically meant to be an offspring or offshoot.

Certain times suggest an attempt to clarify the relationship to Bowser. At the fourth Mario party, a Minikoopa refers to Bowser as 'Dad' whenever he calls for him. During the sixth Mario party, Bowser also grounds them by taking away their Mario action figure if they fail him, implying a parental-like relationship at the very least. In the seventh Mario party, when a Minikoopa would steal coins from a windmill in Windmillville during Bowser Time, Bowser would proudly refer to him as 'Son'; however, Minikoopas instead refer to him as 'Mr. Bowser' and appear to work for a wage, expecting to get a raise from Bowser after causing trouble on a Minikoopa space. Unlike the Koopalings in their earlier appearances as well as Bowser Jr., neither Bowser nor the Minikoopas ever call each other with precisely familial terms in the present day.

In the earlier times there appears to be an arbitrarily large number of Minikoopas, however, since the fifth party, the numbers dwindled to a dangerous low. But by the seventh party, their numbers have once more regained strength. Though fearful of another drop, Bowser has since retired them from outings and keeps them home-bound, letting Jr. help in the party events instead. Like Yoshies they come in many color variants, Green Minikoopa, Red Minikoopa and Blue Minikoopa are examples who, as their names imply, are colored as such. Though these variants are revealed to be the result of one Minikoopa splitting into three.

These two are a black and white Minikoopa. Rather cool looking, to be honest. They take me deep into the belly of the castle, to places I have not seen and will likely forget how to find again. But it's soon apparent that we're getting close, the air is getting humid, condensation is barely visible along walls, and then the last clue is steam. This steam we follow is seeping out an old wooden door with a surprisingly new security lock.

"How in the world...?"

"It's password protected and comes with a clue."

"Go on and take a guess."

They turn it on.

[What is Wendy O. Koopa in one word?]

"I can think of a lot of words."

"We did too."

"Here's a hint. It's super cliché and stereotypical."

I ponder this for a moment.

"...Perfect?"

"Ding-ding-ding-ding!"

"We have a winner!"

I giggle as they type it in and the door opens, revealing an underground cavern. The stone is a dark smoky gray-blue and illuminated by torches of magical pink flame that color the misty fog that blankets the many different sized pools of water.

"Whoa..."

"So you're not gonna rat us out, right?"

"A deal is a deal. This is our little secret."

"Cool! Later human."

They leave me and I shut the door before undoing my hair while undressing to my underwear, no need for them to see me. Still, I hide my clothes behind some stalagmites that are connecting to stalactites and then dunk myself in for a much-needed soak.

"Ahhh...Now, this is more like it. Mmmm...Here's hoping Jr. sleeps soundly for an hour or two."

All my cares wash away in the perfectly warm sparkling water and the mind hazes from the drippy echo.

"Great acoustics down here. I wonder..."

I clear my throat and ready my voice.

" _Ave Maria! Maiden mild! Listen to a maiden's prayer! Thou canst hear though from the wild; Thou canst save amid despair. Safe may we sleep beneath thy care, Though banished, outcast and reviled. Maiden! Hear a maiden's prayer; Mother, hear a suppliant child! Ave Maria! Ave Maria! Undefiled! The flinty couch we now must share Shall seem with down of eider piled If thy protection hovers there. The murky cavern's heavy air Shall breathe of balm if thou hast smiled; Then, Maiden! Hear a maiden's prayer, Mother, list a suppliant child! Ave Maria! Ave Maria! Stainless styled. Foul demons of the earth and air, From this their wonted haunt exiled, Shall flee before thy presence fair. We bow us to our lot of care, Beneath thy guidance reconciled; Hear for a maid a maiden's prayer, And for a father hear a child! Ave Maria!_ "

Yeah...That was nice.

"So beautiful..."

I freak at the sudden voice and dive completely under the water. And even though my eyes are closed I know someone is looking down at me, I just don't know who.

"You can't stay down there forever."

I bubble my response.

"I can't understand you."

More bubbles happen before I pop my head out.

"Hey there Wendy."

"Hi. So...How did you get down here?"

"I am not at liberty to reveal such information."

"Uh huh. And how'd you know the password?"

"These lips are sealed."

"...You made a promise not to tell, didn't you?"

"Yep."

"And you never break your promises. Wow, you're so dorky."

"And proud of it."

She rolls her eyes and slips out of her shell then into the water with me.

"You know, you could've asked if you wanted to use my spring."

"Sorry. I heard about it and the temptation was too great to ignore. By the way, pink fire, so cool."

"Thanks. Nice swimsuit. Black looks really good on you."

I blush and then she does the same in awkwardness.

"You're not wearing one...are you?"

I sink to my nose and look away.

"Oh boy...Is it bad that I'm tempted to let Roy know you're down here like this?"

"Don't! *flustered sigh* Please don't. I like Roy, but his infatuation is getting stronger by the day."

"I know. He won't shut up about you. Oh! Heads up, he's getting you chocolates later."

"Sweet! I love chocolates."

"So...You like my brother or not?"

"Like in what way?"

"You know, like-like."

"Oh...I don't know. I'm only just starting to know the guy. Plus your other bros are hinting at feelings for me too."

"Ludwig thinks of you as his muse."

"Oh come on. I'm here less than a week and already become an object of desire? What's with the boys of this house?"

"I know right? Boys are such puppy dogs."

I can't help but snicker.

"I think this is the first girl moment I've ever had."

"Really?"

"I'm more of a tomboy. Girl stuff was more of thing back in my early kid years. Dolls and dresses, all that jazz. Give me a video game and ripped up jeans any day."

"*gags* I guess there's no accounting for good taste. Still, I do think a little makeup wouldn't hurt you."

"Tried it. Didn't like it. Made no difference what so ever."

"You probably didn't do it right."

"Look, Wendy, the day I wear makeup again is the day I put on a dress and go out in public. Pigs are more likely to fly at that point. But hey, if that ever happens I'll let you doll me up. Okay?"

"Is that why you avoid me?"

"So you've noticed. *pout* Sorry. I feel bad about it. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm not big on confrontation and I thought telling you straight out would upset you."

She smiles softly.

"Really? That's...really considerate. Not the smartest thing ever, but still..."

"I know. I goofed. Yet can we start over? Wipe the slate clean and try this somewhat girl thing we got?"

Her face softens in an almost sad way. I can only imagine the thoughts running through her head. That's when she started trembling and swam to me fast.

"Wendy?"

"Mommy!"

She holds onto me tight and I am as red as Bowser's eyes.

"Wendy, dear, calm down. It's okay, everything's fine. I'm here if you need me."

Her shaking subsides but her hold remains.

"You okay dear?"

"*sniffle* Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"N-No."

"That's fine. We can just sit here and relax. Sound okay?"

She nods and I stroke her head gently.

"Is is weird I want to sing you a lullaby right now?"

"I'm not a baby. I'm twenty-two for crying out loud."

"I know. But that was the first thing to pop into my head."

"It was nice though."

"Thanks. I aim for nice."

"*giggles* Now I see why they all like you so much. You're a good mommy."

I don't think I'll ever get used to being called that.

"Thanks. Are you cozy or do you want to move?"

"I'm good. You're really soft and squishy."

"Uh...Thanks?"

"Human bodies are weird."

"Yes, they are."

"This skin you have. It's like our scales but smaller and thinner."

"Good eye. A very long time ago, reptiles and mammals were part of the same species line."

"What? No way."

"Yes, way. It was many millions of years ago, all sorts of creatures roamed the planet. Ever changing, evolving to be better than before, some faster than others. It was in those times that a genetic split happened. Over the course of time, some reptiles became mammal-like-reptiles. Those creatures would then change again into full mammals, but the remnants of our shared ancestry remain in our DNA and traits."

Her mind is blown.

"Whoa! That's so cool! So can humans breathe fire too?"

"I wish. But I suppose a fire-breathing human would be too overpowered. Humans have evolved to mostly be about body and brain. The body can adapt easily to environments and is quite flexible to avoid all sorts of dangers. While the brain has become what I can best call it a biological super computer, able to process tons of information and handle every part of the body, most of which it does without the need to even think about doing. All in all, a human is an okay thing. Not as cool as you Koopas though."

"Yeah, we are pretty cool."

I smile at her.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Because I should check if Jr. woke up from his nap. If he sleeps too long he'll stay up later than he should."

"Are you sure you're not our mom? Because that's so what a mom would say."

"100% positive. But I don't mind acting like I am if it makes you all happy."

"Okay...Thank you, pretend mom."

"Think nothing of it, pretend daughter."

We share a look.

"That felt weird."

"Let's not do that again."

"Agreed."

She lets me go and climbs out, wringing herself dry before climbing back into her shell. I get out and shake like a dog, making her yelp.

"Hey!"

"Sorry. I don't have a towel and wet underwear tends to draw attention."

"Hang on, I can help."

She reaches into her shell and pulls out her purple magic wand, then zaps me, resulting in me being dry.

"Whoa! I'd say that's a cheap magic of convenience but darn it if I ain't happy. Thanks dear."

"That's magic for yeah. Makes everything so much easier. By the way, that's a good look on you."

"What is?"

"Having your hair down. It really makes a difference."

I smile as I get my clothes, cover back up, and tie up my hair before the two of us head back to the more familiar upper levels. She escorts me to Jr.'s room and we part ways there. Like a ninja's shadow, I make my way into the young Prince's room to find he's still in bed. That's a relief. But he does look super cozy, maybe it wouldn't hurt to join him and cuddle for a bit. Creeping into bed, I scoop Jr. up and snuggle him close. He's so warm and his breathing is as soft as his sleepy nuzzles. It isn't long before this coziness lulls me to sleep with him. Though before I nod off, I can't help but wonder what everyone else is doing.

[Bowser's study]

"*snarl* This isn't working!"

Bowser scatters his papers in annoyance much to Kammy and Kamek's concern.

"Your Viciousness, please calm down!"

"Y-Yes your Highness! What is it that is upsetting you?"

"The plan. The one for Peach's birthday. I can't make it work!"

He crumbles papers into a ball and throws it over the Magikoopa pair.

"What do you mean?"

Bowser sighs.

"I've been thinking of different ways this can all go down around my goal. I want to woo Peach before taking her. You know? Make her more compliant with the idea of coming with me if she sees how amazing I really am. But every idea I have is messed up by the other guests. If I talk to Peach, those pesky plumbers will guard her. If I try to chat up someone else, there's another person blocking them too. Even if she likes my gift, it can be undone by somebody else's. I'm sabotaged either way."

They think for a bit.

"Sounds like what you need is a buffer."

"A what?"

"A buffer."

"It's a person or thing that prevents incompatible or antagonistic people or things from coming into contact with or harming each other."

"Yeah...Yeah! That would be perfect! But where can I get me this buffer thing?"

They think some more.

"This one is a bit harder to solve."

"True. It's not like anyone here will make him look better."

"Hey! What about my son or the Koopalings?"

They look at their King funny.

"That's a joke right?"

"Kammy! Uh, with all due respect, your Churlishness. Even though the children are old enough for such things, they are far from mature enough to not cause you trouble."

"Jr. is too hyperactive. He'll be all over the place and on the cake before anyone can say no."

"And the Koopalings will put on an act for a while but you know them. They'll end up doing what they want when bored."

"*sigh* I guess that's true. Then what am I going to do?"

With their King looking glum, the pair scrambled for a solution.

"Well...What about the girl?"

"Oh yeah, you have that human that watches Jr.. Use her as your buffer."

It's something different, that's for sure.

"Who, Lynsie? How can she be the buffer?"

"Think about it. She's a human. You show up with a human as your plus one and everyone will be too curious about her to keep their eyes on you."

"The old bag has a good point Sire."

Kammy smacks Kamek.

"Ow!"

"Respect your elders, you little punk!"

"Will you two get back to the point?!

Bowser slams his large fist down and the Magikoopas regain themselves.

"The point is, the girl can be your buffer in many ways."

"She will instantly make the others curious. This pull will weaken their attention from Peach, but only so much."

"Then there's the second pull. Peach has many male friends. Seeing a new girl will draw them away from the face they know all too well. Such is the way of weak minded men."

"Lastly is the natural instinct of girls to want to know about a new girl that enters their group. It's a power play to see if she's a threat to their order. You know, making sure she won't be too popular, both to the guys and their friends. Such is typical of the temperamental woman."

"Misogynistic moron!"

"Misandristic muttonhead!"

"Shut up! You're both stupid! Happy now?"

They grumble at each other.

"So you think Lynsie can be this all so perfect buffer. Hmmm...I guess it couldn't hurt to try. She is willing to follow orders."

"Perfect! We'll just doll her up, stick her on your arm, and presto! You got yourself a buffer."

"Is the tailor still here?"

"Yes. They're still putting the finishing touches on the King's suit."

"Good. Then they can make a dress too. No sense in sending him to a party with her in rags."

"Then it's settled. You two go inform the tailor of their new assignment. I'm going to let our caretaker know of the good news personally."

With that, they each take leave and go about their respective tasks.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**

PS...To those that leave comments/reviews in guest mode, try as I might, I can't leave a reply to you in guest mode. I have not been ignoring you, the site just does not allow replying to guests or non-logged in accounts. Believe me, I respond to every single comment written to me because I find it sweet that you would take time to even bother writing something to me and it would be rude to not show my thanks. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to address this, real life drama is demanding, but I have read every question you sent me. So when it comes to you that ask about my other stories that are on hiatus, yes, I would like to get back to them but in time. Ninjago will be reworked from the ground up to fit my current writing style and to not make it so, I don't know, cliché? Deadman Wonderland will be cleaned up and given better character treatment, I reread it recently and even I felt some of it was tacky. Slender...That fish might stay dead in the water till I can think of a better plotline for it than what I had came up with originally (believe me, what I was going to do with it was crap, I'm not proud of it). Undertale is currently being looked at by a friend for cleaning up as I am most proud of that story and I want it to be as perfect as it can be and it will be updated once I deem all chapters to be spotless. I hope this helps with any questions. The reason there's so much time between fixing these stories is because of interest, I write when something triggers my brain and it's 100% captivated with that subject. I have started so many stories and very few ever see an end. Most die because I lose interest or because not a lot is there to keep me going once I start. With Ninjago getting back in the light, I might be returning to it sooner than I expected. But till then I'm locked on Mario, mostly because Odyssey is so close we can almost taste it. I'll stop now before I ramble for ages. Thank you all for reading and enjoy my crazy stories. ^_^


	6. Difficulty level increase: Hard Mode

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Bowser heads to his son's chamber. No doubt the girl will be there taking care of Jr., as she always does. Funny, the young Prince has made complaints about many caretakers in their time, but not this one. The only negative thing he knows of Jr. complaining about Lynsie was the other night she had tricked the boy into eating vegetables by coating them in cheese. A clever, funny, and most useful trick. But that is not what's on his mind now. Now he was thinking of how he was going to tell the girl that she was going to be his 'date' to Peach's birthday party. Yeah...That's going to sound weirder out loud.

These thoughts suddenly end when he turns into the hall for Jr.'s room and sees Roy with a small box looking into the room's keyhole. Oh, great...what's all this about?

"See something you like in there?"

That causes the Koopaling to jump back and nearly drops his box.

"Geez old man! I-I mean, hey there pop. What's up?"

Well, this is going to be amusing.

"Heh, a bit jumpy aren't you? What's in the box? *sniff sniff* Smells sweet."

Roy tries the hide the box much to Bowser's interest.

"It's nothin'."

This is starting to get even more interesting.

"Roy...Mind telling me what's going on?"

"It's nothin' pops. Honest."

"Really? Because I doubt you brought sweets to Jr.."

Roy looks off at the floor sheepishly.

"Pop...What if, hypothetically speakin', I have a thing for a girl..."

"I'm listening."

"And I want to get this girl's attention so she knows I'm serious..."

"Have you tried abducting her? It never fails to get a girl to notice you."

"*groan* I'm not kidnappin' her."

"Why not? It's a tried and true family method."

"Because she's already here!"

"Is it Lynsie?"

Roy blushes.

"...Maybe."

"Daww..."

Roy gets all flustered and stomps in annoyance much to his father's enjoyment.

"Cut it out!"

"But I'm so proud."

That takes Roy by surprise.

"Ya...You are?"

"Of course! I was starting to wonder if any of you lot were ever going to look for relationships."

"Pop!"

"I guess this means I have to teach you all about the birds and the bees."

"Oh my god! Pop, just so much nope!"

"Yeah, you're right. Right now I have to ask your crush on a date."

"Wait, what?!"

The chamber door opens, rendering them silent as the sleepy girl looks at them with a wry expression.

"*yawns* Can you two keep it down? You're gonna wake up Jr.."

"Mama..."

The tired child's voice makes me slap my face.

"*groans* Great, thanks a lot."

"Lynsie, so glad I found you. There's something I need to..."

"Sweetheart! Here, these are for you."

Roy cuts Bowser off and shoves a small box at me.

"Oh, thank you, Roy. I love chocolates."

"H-How do you know...?"

"Wendy told me. I'll save these for later though. Maybe have a few before bed to have sweet dreams."

I take the box and places it on Jr.'s desk.

"Mama!"

"Hold on a minute sweetie. I'm talking with Roy and Papa."

"Tell him to stop being creepy with you!"

"Shut it, squirt! I'm not creepy!"

"QUIET!"

Roars Bowser so that everyone may shut up.

"*ahem* Now, as I was saying before being rudely interrupted. Lynsie, you recall Peach's party coming up, yes?"

"Of course, my King."

"Well...How would you like to accompany me?"

I'm confused and rightly so. Roy is sour, flexing his claws into fists and trying not to glare at his old man. Jr. is also puzzled but the idea of his father and I getting closer helps his plans for a proper family.

"While I'm not saying no, can I at least ask why?"

"I'd like to know that too, pop."

Roy isn't good at hiding the growl that rumbles his voice, but Bowser ignores it. The King maintains a look of glee and innocence. Jr. has his own ideas.

"Because they're going on a date like Mamas and Papas should."

Jr. states proudly and that floors the lot of us.

"It's not like that! And we've talked about this already son. *cough* The reason I'm asking is that its part of my ingenious plan."

Down the rabbit hole we go on this.

"Go on?"

"See, you can be my buffer."

"Your buffer?"

"You'll keep everyone's attention off me while I make myself look good for Peach. You understand, right?"

I ponder this.

"Yeah, I can see that. You show up with a random girl that they don't know. I'd be totally curious if I were them."

"Then you agree to come with me?"

"If it helps my King than I am at your aid."

"Wonderful! Then you'll have to see the tailor and be fitted for your dress."

Did I just hear glass shatter?

"A what?"

"A dress. Remember, formal attire is required and you can't go in what you're wearing now."

My brain dies.

"B-B-B-But..."

"Hmmm...Sweet cheeks in a dress? *chuckles* Not a bad picture."

"B-B-B-But..."

"Come along, silly girl, there's no time to waste."

Bowser picks me up and hurls me over his shoulder before walking away.

"Papa wait! Mama's suppose to teach me how to beat my game."

"No worries son. I'll return her after she's done helping me."

The boys watch the King leave with the shocked girl and Roy is none too happy, while Jr. rubs salt in his wounds.

"See? Papa carries Mama Lynn like he does Mama Peach. They're a couple."

"Squirt...Shut your trap. The old man ain't interested in her. He wants Peach. Sweetheart is mine. You hear me? Mine!"

"Nuh-uh! Mama is mine and Papa's! They're going to get married."

"Oh, you are so in for it now!"

Thus a chase began of Roy after Jr..

[Meanwhile in a private chamber]

"Miss, I beg of you, please hold still."

"Then get that measuring tape off my butt before I shove it up yours!"

I snarl at the Dry Bones tailor and Bowser can't stop his snickering.

"I probably should've mentioned she's quite the spitfire."

"That would've been helpful, yes. But it's not like it bothers me. I am dead after all, it's not like she can hurt me. Now please, miss, I need you to hold still or the entire gown will be off and we'll have to start over."

"And I said bite me!"

Bowser coughs to get my attention.

"As much as I enjoy your fiery spirit, you will let him do his job. Or I'll turn you to stone and make you hold still. Your choice."

I hate losing. I hate that he can win against me so freaking easily!

"*growls* Fine!"

I reluctantly pose as needed but I am far from happy and the tailor gets to work while Bowser watches.

"I know it's annoying, but be lucky you don't have to get your measurements in your underwear."

"Huh?"

"His Majesty had to remove his shell. No way would a suit could be made with it on or survive on that thing."

Makes sense. It's like a partial wrecking ball with spikes.

"So what style are we going for on this?"

"Whatever doesn't make me look like a dork."

"Well...You're just a charming thing, aren't you."

I glare daggers at the undead Koopa.

"Something fancy. Maybe like Peach or Daisy's dress but with Koopa style. We do want her to draw attention and make it clear she's with me."

"I think her attitude will do that for her, sir."

"Dude, I am this close to kicking you into the wall."

"Go ahead. I'll crumble but pop right back up."

I am not a happy camper.

"Now give me a deep breath and hold it. I have to measure your bust size."

I blush and turn away from Bowser's sight.

"Hey!"

"Don't perv out on me. I get enough of that with the Koopalings. Besides, you're into Peach remember."

"Who do you think I've been thinking of while watching you?"

Did he just...He really said that? Does he not see how pissed I am? I should hit him. I should go over there and smack the smug right off his mug!

"...Well, now I'm definitely not turning back."

But that would be incredibly stupid and I don't need that hassle right now.

"Breathe please."

I inhale deeply and hold it.

"Hmmm...You're bigger than I guessed."

"*blush* The heck does that mean?!"

I snap, with a swift right hook, the tailor is sent speeding into the wall and he shatters harshly, sending bones scattering across the room. I'd probably feel guilty about it if I didn't know about Dry's having regenerative abilities. Bowser himself is shocked that I actually attacked, even if it was on impulsive instinct. But it's only moments later that the bones rattle on their own before being drawn to the shell and reassembling into the Dry form.

"So...*crack* Feel better now, miss?"

"...I guess."

"Good. Because I wasn't done."

I hate this. Bowser is laughing at me which has me all flustered and it makes it harder to hold my breath till the tailor's done writing the numbers.

"You can breathe now."

I slowly exhale shakily and try to calm down.

"Are we done yet?"

"Almost. I just need your height and shoulder to hem numbers."

"*sigh* The annoying crud girls do to look pretty is super dumb."

"Are you really not liking this?"

"Gee, what was your first clue?"

"She's obliviously a tomboy, Sire. I've dealt with plenty in my work to know that this is as low on her enjoyment scale as it can get."

"Thank you!"

"Well, you only have to wear it once and that's it. So suck it up and take it like a big girl."

"*groans* But I don't wanna."

"Heh...You big baby."

"All done."

"Finally!"

"You do realize this is only the first part?"

"Dead turtle say what?"

"Now that I have your numbers, I can make the rough body. From there you'll need to wear it as I make proper adjustments to ensure a perfect fit. After that, the rest is on me to add details."

"You mean I have to do this again?!"

"And for way longer. Why else do you think you haven't seen me around much lately?"

My eye twitches and I want to scream.

"Okay drama queen, come here. I'll take you back to Jr. and you can be all happy again."

My eyes shine with hope and Bowser chuckles as he leads me away.

"You really didn't like that, huh?"

"I would prefer being chased by a Spike Bass in ice water than do any more of this."

"Yep, I was right. You are nothing like Peach."

"I still take that as a compliment."

"Maybe that's why Roy likes you so much."

"He isn't the only one."

"Really?"

"I get the feeling Ludwig might see me in the same light as Roy. Morton and Iggy as well. Not quite sure about Larry and Lemmy. Or Jr. for that matter, but he'll probably always see me as Mama."

"*scoff* Not likely. Once I get Peach, she'll be his mother. You can either go back to wherever you came from or keep working here. I know he's become attached to you. Be a shame to break his heart."

I roll my eyes.

"Whatever you say, big guy."

"No, I mean it."

My fuse is lit.

"I get it."

"I don't think you do."

It's almost gone.

"Please don't start this, I'm so not in the mood."

"Look here little missy..."

I explode.

"No! You look. I get it! I'm a temporary means to a more appealing end. I'm a tool you're using till you can acquire the real thing you want. So lay off the whole 'I don't need you here' garbage. I just want to enjoy my time here till whatever fate happens by month's end. So, please...Don't make me dislike you by picking at this sore I know is there but am letting it alone."

His mouth is open but he's speechless. I'm all fired up yet trying to keep my cool. I figure the best thing I can do in this moment is to leave before anything else is said that can make it all so much worse. So I just walk away.

"H-Hey! Wait for a second!"

I know I'm going to regret this, but I stop.

"What?"

"You...You like me?"

I feel a lump in my throat, so I turn my head and nod to show him I mean yes.

"Really?"

I nod again before continuing on and leaving him to his thoughts on what just happened. Lord knows I need to be alone with mine right now. I wander aimlessly, just avoiding others and cooling down. I snapped at him. Bowser, King of the Koopas, and I yelled at him. How did I do that and was able to simply walk away unharmed? It boggles my mind.

"Lynn lady!"

Morton calls as he comes up behind me. Maybe he can cheer me up.

"Oh. Hi, Morton."

"Can lady spend time with Morton for a while?"

I probably shouldn't, what if Jr. needs me? Then again...

"Sure sweetie."

He's so happy, that smile he has warms my heart. He picks me up bridal style, which surprises the hell out of me, and flees down a hall then another hall till we make it into his room.

"Thank you, Lynn lady. Morton was hoping to see you today."

He puts me down and I straighten up while he shuts the door.

"Awww...What's the matter, Morton?"

"Morton need cuddles."

I smile and open my arms to the boy.

"Then come here, big guy. I'll give you all the cuddles you need."

He tackles me into a large mound of pillows and snuggles as close as he can to me, making me giggle.

"*giggles* You are just too cute!"

"*snickers* Lynn lady, can Morton tell you a secret?"

"Sure sweetie. No secret ever leaves me once these lips are sealed."

He nuzzles his way to my ear.

"The secret is...I can speak perfectly fine."

I smirk and nuzzle him back.

"I had a feeling you were putting on an act."

"You could tell?"

"You're a smart boy, Morton. And it's very clever to hide your intelligence. It makes others underestimate you and makes them vulnerable to when you unleash your true self."

"Exactly. You are a clever girl to pick that up."

"I like to think I'm smart."

"That you are. Not to mention, you're perfectly soft and cuddly."

He nuzzles heatedly into my neck, his fangs skimming along the sensitive parts of my skin and it has me in a laughing fit, much to his interest.

"Ticklish?"

"*giggles* Just a little bit."

"Then I'm going to do it again."

"No don't...*laughs* Morton...*giggles* No fair...*chortles* Cut it out...*chuckles*"

"And stop hearing that pretty laugh? Not a chance."

He continues this tickle attack all while making himself very comfortable on me. I'm just laying on my back as he lies beside me. Then he begins to pull part of his body on top of mine. It's not till he's finally relented his fun that I find him resting his head on my shoulder and laying on my chest while interlocking our legs for maximum cuddliness.

"Uh...Morton?"

"Hmmm?"

"This is, uh...rather...intimate, don't you think?"

He looks at me funny.

"What is 'intimate'?"

Oh my lord...Is he really this smart but doesn't know about adult stuff?

"Morton...How old are you?"

"Twenty-seven. But really, what does it mean? Does it mean you're uncomfortable?"

I'm going to have to tell Bowser about this, he needs to talk to his boys.

"Just a little."

"Should I move?"

"Tell you what, how about you lay down and I cuddle you. Sound good?"

"Okay."

He scoots off me and props himself in a lounging position before I lay across his lap, to which he pets my head, making me purr.

"Did you equip a Super Bell or can all Humans be kitties naturally?"

"*giggle* I'm just an oddball, dear. I learned to purr from cats and I like to do it when happy."

"And I make you happy?"

"Yeah. You all do."

He smiles and continues petting me. Slowly I feel like sleeping, still a little tired from the very short nap that was interrupted and I yawn.

"Sleepy kitty?"

"Meow."

"Kitty want to take a cat nap?"

"Mew."

"Heheh...So cute. Rest easy little kitty."

I shake my head and stretch.

"Can't. Gotta get back to Jr. soon."

This has him pouting.

"But you're with Jr. all the time. Can't you just stay with me today?"

"As much as it sounds nice to do so, I have my job to do."

"He's a big boy. He can take care of himself."

"To a point. He's not like you Koopalings. He hasn't gotten to that 'can take care of myself' stage."

I make to get off him and the pillow pile, but he stops me by holding my arm.

"Morton?"

"Please don't go."

"Morton, let go."

"You don't have to go."

Why does he seem so desperate? This must be handled carefully.

"Sweetie, I'm not leaving you. I am just going to a different room in the castle. If you like, you can come with me."

"No! You stay here with Morton!"

He's getting aggravated, like a kid being told to go to their room, so much so his speech is reverting to his usual simplicity.

"Dear, I'm only going to request this one last time. Please let go."

"Morton said no! Morton will keep Lynn lady here! Morton will make you stay!"

He pulls me off the pillows and I'm on guard for the moment I aim to bolt away. He goes to a chest, I don't pay attention to the contents for I'm too focused on feeling the grip of his hand, but I hear many things rattle around and I can think of a few things he could be looking for, like his red magic wand.

"Found it! With this, you will stay with Morton."

"Morton, I mean it. Let go of me or else."

"Huh? Or else what?"

"No more cuddles."

He actually looks hurt.

"But...Morton likes cuddles."

"I like them too. But you can't have anymore if you don't behave."

Dear God, I'm talking to this twenty-seven-year-old guy like he's freaking five.

"But...But..."

"No buts. That's the deal. Take it or leave it."

His pout becomes a snarl.

"No deal! You stay! Morton will make you stay! Morton will have cuddles!"

"*growl* Let go. Now."

"You will be with Morton! Even if Morton have to make you into a doll."

I don't know what he means by that and I don't intend to find out.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

I yank my arm in his grip, pulling him close enough till he's in range before biting his hand. This makes him roar out, but not in pain as I could never hurt such thick scales. No, this was a shocked roar that maybe he did expect some pain. Yet as he roars, I rip from his grip and run to the door, knowing he won't be stunned for very long...and I'm right.

No sooner than I fling his chamber door open that he regains his composure, casting a spell as I enter the hall and I just barely miss it thanks to tripping over my own foot. I sprint as he casts a second shot, missing that one too. But luck lasts only so long and I forget the first rule of what to do when being shot at...never move in a straight line. The third blast hits my back and I fall to the cold stone floor. I'm not hurt, oh no. It's much worse than that. My body is completely paralyzed.

"Morton told you..."

His footsteps are eerie in the slowness of his approach.

"Morton will make you stay. You will be with Morton. Even if Morton have to make you into a doll. And now..."

He stomps his last step by my face. I'd flinch if I had the ability to do so.

"Now you are a doll. Morton's cuddle doll."

For the love of all that is, please let me still be able to speak!

"M-Morton..."

"Hmmm? Dolly speaks? But dolly's don't talk."

"Please...Don't do this."

"Dolly needs to be good. Or Morton will punish dolly."

Okay, this is bad. This is beyond my control. Last resort time! I need help! Calling reinforcements!

"*scream*"

I aim to have any and all hear my cry, yet for the pitch to also hurt him by being so close. This stuns him for a bit. Seems that's a thing about him I need to remember. But sure enough, he shakes it off and is not pleased.

"Naughty dolly. Now Morton will punish."

He grabs my shirt collar and proceeds to drag me back to his room. Dread fills me to the very core.

"Morton!"

"Huh?"

A large ball suddenly smacks Morton in the face and he's sent flying.

"Mom lady!"

"Are you okay?"

I can't see them, due to my face being straight into the floor, but I know the voices.

"Larry, Lemmy, take me to Kammy or Kamek."

"What's wrong?"

"What did he do to you?"

"He used a spell and now I can't move."

"Understood. You take the legs and I'll get the arms."

"Rodger."

"I'm not Rodger, I'm Lemmy."

"Boys, while that's a really cute comedy bit you're doing, please hurry before Morton recovers."

They agree to that. Morton is not to be encountered when angered. The quickly take hold of my limbs and make a run for it. The sounds of a disgruntled Morton echo in the halls. I know he was probably lonely and only wanted to have my company, but the whole hostage doll thing...oh wait...I bet he learned that from Bowser. I should've figured some of them would take his traits to the extremes.

Lucky for me the boys are a fast pair. We are far from Morton and I hope he'll come to his senses soon. Lemmy and Larry are quick to locate Kammy, Kamek is always working on something so Kammy is easier to find. The old crone seems to be amused by my misfortune but willing to help. After all, if I can't watch Jr., she will, and that's something she doesn't want to do. So with a wave of her wand, my mobility is restored and I feel more flexible, rejuvenated even. This kind of magic I like a lot.

"Thanks, Kammy. *stretch* I feel as spry as I did when I was a kid."

"Really? Hmmm...Maybe I should use that spell on myself. *pause for thought* ...Nah! Why mess with something that isn't broken. Besides, even at my age, I'm still shaking what my momma gave me!"

The boys gag and I usher them out before Kammy goes into a long and seemingly endless rant about respecting her. Now with the boys joining me, Larry rides on my shoulders as I cradle Lemmy in my arms while I head for Jr.'s room. Once there, Jr. latches onto me and refuses to let me out of his sight. Though I can understand why, about 50% of the time I'm not with Jr., something sort of bad happens. The poor boy worries about his substitute Mama. Though he doesn't seem to mind the two tagalongs that came with me, that's good. The more the merrier.

"Sweetie, where are the chocolates Roy gave me? I don't see them."

"Uh..."

"Jr., did you eat them?"

"Uh..."

"Busted!"

"Oooh, you're in trouble!"

Jr. looks guilty but I merely pat his head.

"Were they at least tasty?"

"...They were okay. Are you mad Mama?"

"No. But that's your last freebie. Next time, you have to ask me before you take something that's mine."

"Okay, Mama. I will."

Larry and Lemmy are not pleased.

"No fair."

"Yeah."

"What do you two mean?"

"Jr. gets away with everything."

"He never gets in trouble because he's King Dad's real kid."

I clap my hands harshly, making my palms red and sting painfully, but it does get their attention.

"Now that kind of talk is unacceptable. You know Bowser cares about all of you. He sees you all as his children. Look at everything he's done for you. Do you really think you'd have this same life if you weren't his kids?"

"N-No..."

"But..."

"No buts. You know I'm right. Sure, you're not his legitimate kids. But does that really matter? You are his children, nothing can change that. Jr. is your little brother and doesn't know all the things you might. It's the job of the big kids to help make sure little bro here learns all he needs to know and grows up to be the best Koopa he can be. Just like it's Jr.'s job to help his siblings when needed and to be respectful towards you too. It's like a circle. It's all fine and dandy until it's broken. Now, do you understand?"

"I guess so."

"We're sorry Mom lady."

"It's okay boys, I understand. I'm a middle child myself. I know all too well how it seems that the youngest gets the better deals with the parents. But that's why we earn our rewards. We're now old enough and capable enough to do things ourselves. It makes it all the sweeter when the parent sees this and is proud. So my dear Koopalings, take pride in the fortune you have. And Jr., enjoy these easy times while you have them. Because you never know when they'll stop."

"Okay, Mama."

"Now come here, boys. Give me huggles."

They come at me like puppies and I give them all the loving snuggles.

"Oooooh! You Koopas are so adorable! Have you ever tried taking over kingdoms with your powerful cuteness?"

"Mama!"

"We aren't cute."

"The Princesses don't think we're cute."

I mentally glare at thoughts of Peach. She better not have ever hurt these kids or their feelings.

"Well, that's because the Princesses are dumb and can't see past their fancy entitlement to know a good thing when it's in front of their nose. But not me. *nuzzles them* I see you. And what I see is super cute."

They giggle at my affectionate actions and the four of us stick together for the remainder of the day, even after dinner time. The boys become a bit of a handful when bedtime comes, but lullabies fix that. Honestly, I could get used to this. Snuggling turtle-like beings and enjoying some peace. Yeah, I like it.

[Meanwhile: Bowser's chamber]

The King of Koopas finds sleep eluding him this night. His mind plagued with questioning and confusing thoughts. His normal mental images of Princess Peach are being ruined. She's not the only girl in his fantasies. And it's not like those crazy nights where he drank too much champagne after winning go-kart races where he thought of Daisy being with Peach, though that was kind of hot, maybe add Rosalina into the mix or even Princess Eclair, too bad that Princess Shokora is dead, now she was a looker, heck even that Pauline girl showed up in his saucy dreams a time or two. No...These images do not include those girls and his Peach. It is the spitfire that haunts the corners of his mind this night.

"Argh! Why? Why did she say that? *groans* She likes me? How could she say that? Why does she like me? No one likes me!"

He claws at pillows and shreds a few in his confused frustration.

"Okay...So she likes me. Big whoop! It doesn't matter. She probably means she likes me like she likes the kids. Yeah, that's it. There's no reason to waste even a moment more thinking about it. She's just a girl. Being nice is what they do. After all, they're made of sugar and spice and everything nice. That's why she's kind. That's why she's respectful. That's why she's helpful. That's why she cares. That's why she smells good. That's why her smile is so warm. That's why the kids like her. That's why I..."

He killed the words before they could form on his tongue.

"*scoff* Darn girl. Messing with me like this. Screwing with my head. Gotta get my thoughts straight. I can't lose my focus. Must keep my eye on the prize...My sweet Peachy~. Gwah ha ha ha!"

Shoving the messed up pillows under the still good ones, the mighty King settles down again and once more attempts slumber. This time concentrating with all his might on Peach, forcing out all other distractions. Yeah, maybe now he can resume that one dream he'd only get so far in. Their big wedding.

It always starts the same, he takes Peach, Mario and Green 'Stache show up, as usual, to get her back, blah-blah-blah. But this time, they lose to the obviously more epically powerful and much more handsome Koopa King. Peach would then run out to him before professing her undying love to him and only him. Cut to them standing before an ordained minister and pledging their endless devotion to one another in the most sweetly sickening of ways. The rings are shared, the "I do"s said, all that's left is to kiss the blushing bride and seal the deal with a smooch on those perfect pink pillowy lips. He lifts the veil, puckers up, leans in for what is to be the greatest moment in his entire life and...then wakes up to not kissing Peach.

But surely that will soon change, both in his dreams and in real life. Peach will be his. No doubt about it. After all, he's the guy that can never be described as a quitter, for every failed attempt to hold Peach captive, he has five more schemes up his sizable non-existent sleeves. He is 100% prime-cut final boss!

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	7. Hidden lore

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The next day started off rather rocky. Bowser was cold and distant, rarely speaking or looking from his plate. Jr., on the other hand, he's all happy and talking my ears off with ideas or questions. I do what I can to keep the boy distracted so as to not pester his father who seems to be lost in his own thoughts. I haven't mentioned the incident with Morton to either of them, only Larry, Lemmy, and Kammy know as I'd rather not cause any unnecessary craziness. But despite the random tension, nothing bad happens.

Until noon that is.

"Mama, can we go play now? This is sooooo boring."

"I know sweetie. I don't want to be here any more than you do. But I have no choice. I must...Ow!"

"I did tell you to hold still, miss. Keep this up and you're going to end up a pincushion."

"*groan* This is why I hate dresses! Too much dumb junk! Ow!"

"I'm not wasting any more time telling you again."

"Hey! Stop hurting my Mama!"

The tailor just sighs.

"I'm not trying to, my Prince. But just so you know, this could go on for another hour or two."

Jr. and I both groan in loud annoyance much to the tailor's chagrin.

"Why not go entertain yourself while I work on your *cough* 'mama'? Surely you can think of something to keep yourself busy. Got any homework, chores, hobbies, anything at all you could do?"

"No! I'm staying here with Mama. Things happen to Mama when I'm not around. I'm staying!"

"Sweetie it's fine. I'm literally going nowhere. Go have fun or get a jump start on your history paper. Oh! How about spending time with Iggy and build something cool?"

This has his eyes gleam with promise.

"Well...I do have this cool idea for a battle suit."

"*scoff* That sounds..."

"That sounds awesome! You gotta do it. Just think of the epicness. It will be glorious!"

The boy gets all hyped up.

"Yeah! Papa will be so impressed. Thanks, Mama!"

"Anytime sweetie."

Jr. runs off soon after.

"Heh...Now I get why he calls you his mom."

"Huh?"

"You mother the boy. He isn't even yours and you treat him like he is. ...He's not really your kid, right?"

"*giggles* No, that sweet boy sadly isn't mine. Though if he was, I would've had to be knocked up in my teens and that would be super awkward."

"Well...Thank you for doing so anyway."

"It's not a big deal. He's nice and I've been tasked with taking care of him. I'm just doing my job."

"Don't lie. You may think that, but you know you're doing things for him because you care."

"Of course I care! Who wouldn't care for that boy?"

"His mother for one."

The atmosphere in the room becomes a dark chill.

"I've never asked about her. I feel it's not my place to question something like that. I'm just an outsider."

"That's very respectful of you, miss. Not a lot of us here recall her, and per the King's orders, all trace of her has been locked away from the public. I doubt even her very existence is known to the Mushroom Kingdom."

"No, it's not. I've spent untold hours buried deep in all manner of tomes within Peach's realm, but never is there any mention of a Queen Koopa."

"And it's likely you'll never hear about her."

"Why?"

"Would you like to be reminded of the person that broke your heart and left behind a child after trying for one for so long?"

Ow, that hurts.

"To be fair, the pair were too young to be trying for a family. But dumb lovesick kids do stupid things like that when they think they know better. They should've stopped after the first clutch was all duds. Would've saved everyone the heartache. But they kept trying. You know how it is, right? Believing love and hope will make miracles happen."

"...Yeah?"

This sounds like it's only going to hurt worse.

"Yet clutch after clutch, none of their eggs would hatch. And each time they didn't, the more depressed she became. He tried to make her happy. He adopted the Koopalings, to give her the children they've been trying so hard for, but it didn't help. She blamed herself at first. Then she started blaming him. By the time he took in the Koopalings, she had laid one final clutch and then left unable to go through any more pain. But what she didn't know is, one of the eggs would end up hatching. Thus, the young Prince came to be."

That really hurts.

"Yep. Took a long time for the King to get over her. Mostly because he had the Koopalings and the Prince to fill the void in his heart. But the real victim is the young lord. Sure, he's had his father all his life, but that's not going to fix the ever 'what is missing' feeling the boy has."

That hurts more.

"The kid's been such a lonely boy. I can only imagine how hard it is for the King to keep his mouth shut about anything mother related."

"Jr. must have made him crack a little, I know he's really good at it. Once he gives you the sad puppy eyes, you're at his mercy. That's probably why he attacked Isle Delfino to get Peach. Bowser told him Peach was his mom. But he knew Bowser fibbed, so...Why go along with the lie then?"

"Why not? The King has been after her for years, he constantly speaks fondly of her, and she's the only woman technically in his dad's life. Why not try to get her to not only be his mom but also to please his dad?"

The hurt is strong in the undead Koopa's words and it's getting harder not to show the pain my heart feels.

"Hey now, what's with that look?"

"For all the written accounts and countless stories Peach has made available to the public, nothing has painted such a picture as you have sir. It saddens me how the politics of the realms work to make themselves appear greater by ignoring the other side's details."

"Indeed. There are always three sides to every story. The two on each opposite side and the third person on the outside looking in."

"...The hero to some is the villain to others."

"So true. You are a very intellectual girl, you know that?"

"I'm a geek, I know. And I'm proud of it."

"And she's my girl~."

The sound of Roy surprises us. Were we really so lost in conversation that we didn't notice him enter the room and take a seat? How long has he been here and watching? How much did he hear?

"Hey, there tough guy. You been here long?"

"Not long, but long enough, sweetheart."

"Uh...Are you two a thing?"

"Oh yeah~."

"I was asking the girl. Miss?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny anything. Roy is one of my many friends since being here. Yet I have not been around long enough to really know if I have developed feelings of that magnitude."

"Ah, I see. The boy is jumping the gun as they say."

"I am not! She is so into me. She just doesn't know it yet."

"So cute. I'd request a hug, but I am not able to move while he is working on me."

Roy smirks with a chuckle.

"Ya think that'll stop me from getting some sugar from my sweetheart~?"

"If you don't want her to end up all full of holes, I suggest you not."

That keeps Roy in his seat.

"Thank you."

"Whatever. *shifts a little*...You look good, sugar."

Is he...blushing?

"Thank you, dear."

Great...Now I'm blushing. I'm such a hapless dork.

"Ah, young love. Makes these old bones feel alive again."

"Shut it old man."

The Dry Bones tailor just chuckles as he continues his stitching.

"So, sugar...How were those chocolates? Great, right?"

"Actually, I didn't get to try them. Jr. ate them all."

"What?! That little twerp!"

"It's fine dear. Sweets come and go, but the sentiment lasts forever."

"The both of you are adorable."

"Oh shove it up your shell."

That makes the bundle of bones cringe.

"Fine, I'll stop. But I have one last question."

"What is it?"

"If the two of you are working on being a couple..."

"I never said that!"

"You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape this love, sweetheart~."

"As I was saying...If 'this' is a thing, then why are you going out with the King?"

The room chills where Roy sits.

"I am not going as Bowser's date. I am going as his aid in his plan to get Peach."

"Care to explain miss?"

"I am going to distract male attention off Peach, while at the same time, gaining female attention in a possibly negative way. All of which is to take the focus off Bowser so that he can better woo the Princess without trouble."

Add this to the list of things I never thought I'd say or do.

"Hmmm...I guess that makes sense. Rather clever really."

"That's what I think too. Though I don't know if I can effectively play such a role."

"Don't put yourself down like that, sweetness. If anyone can get people to stop lookin' at Peach, it's you."

"What if I say something I shouldn't? I don't want to ruin things for Bowser all because I couldn't stop myself from making some offhanded comment about her."

"Just keep that in mind then. When in doubt, look over to the King and remember that you want to see him happy. You do want to see him happy, don't you?"

"I do."

"Then you'll have no problem."

"Though try not to do too good a job, okay sugar? I don't need the old man putting moves on you too."

I can't help but laugh.

"Please, he's a flirt, but his heart is true. Bowser is a one girl kind of guy. He's not the kind to suddenly have a harem. Besides...He doesn't seem to really care for me."

This gets their attention.

"What do you mean?"

"Once this month is over or Peach is in his possession, I am to leave this Kingdom as my debt to Bowser will be repaid or..."

"What?!"

Roy is seeing red.

"Dear, calm down."

"No! This ain't right!"

If this keeps up he's going to blow up like Morton did. I must defuse him before that happens. As Roy begins to fume, I break away from the tailor who lets me go and approach Roy before hugging him much to his surprise.

"S-Sugar?"

"Please, Roy...I need you to settle down."

It takes a few moments before I feel his arms slowly hold me around my waist.

"Thank you...You're too good for me, sweetness."

"You're the one that's too good for me, dear."

He nuzzles up under my chin and I giggle when his fangs tickle my neck.

"You're so sweet to me, sugar. Let me make it up to ya. When you're done with this girly junk, how about I take ya out someplace nice. That sound okay?"

I'm touched.

"Awww...That's so kind of you. I'll have to check with a few things, but yeah. I'd like that very much. Where do you have in mind?"

"Ever heard of the Seaside Kingdom? I was thinkin' maybe chillin' at Bubblaine."

The name sounds familiar.

"The tourist hotspot?"

"Yep. I know it's not the Delfino islands, but at least it's plumber free if ya know what I mean. Hehehe."

"I think I saw it once on TV. 'Lose yourself in our crystal clear refreshing bubble waters. Just take a dip, and all your worries will float away with a pop'. Or something like that. The add was very cheesy."

"So, ya wanna do this? Just us, on a sunny beach, the cool salt air, and no one else."

He nuzzles slowly from my ear down to my slightly exposed shoulder, placing random kisses along the way. This has me blushing a great deal much to his delight.

"Busting out the fabled Koopa charm I see."

"Is it workin'?"

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. But like I said, I have to check if I'm able to go."

"Come on, sugar. You're a big girl. Do ya really need to ask permission from the old man?"

"I do."

"Why?"

"Because she's responsible."

Dry Bones tailor speaks.

"She's not as free as you. She can't just up and leave without letting the King know anything. Plus she's in charge of the Prince. If she leaves, the King will punish her for leaving his son."

Roy is displeased.

"This is some Bully mess!"

"Roy..."

"No. I'm sick of the old man and everyone else hoggin' ya."

"Roy."

"I just want to..."

The room is rendered silent by my way of calming Roy. My lips on his and he is stunned. I pull back after a second to reassure him all is going to be fine, but he claims my lips roughly and his hold on me is vice-like. Only when he feels satisfied does he stop and I'm as flustered as I've ever been in my life much to his smug pride.

"Um...F-Feeling better dear?"

"*chuckles* If your plan is to kiss me every time I get upset, ya better be ready for some long lastin' lip lockin', sugar~."

I blink a few times so as to restart my brain as he lets me go and nudges me back towards the dumbfounded tailor.

"Go on, sweetness. Get your dress done so we can ask the old man for some fun time~."

The Dry Bones and I share a confused look before he continues where he left off.

"Did he really just do that?"

"To be fair, miss, you did it first."

My cheeks are on fire!

"I did not...*whisper* I did not do it for the same reason as him. I was just trying to calm him down."

"Right..."

"*growls* Just shut up and do your job."

Not much else happens after that. Roy makes the occasional flirty remark, I humor him, the tailor works while making snide comments, I hit him and he breaks but he just reforms each time. Jr. and Iggy eventually come over, they take notice of Roy right away but he doesn't seem to care. Jr. is all excited about the ideas Iggy helped bring to life and that he wants to show them to me, especially the upgrades made to his Clown Car. Iggy is just as proud to boast of his creative abilities and I can understand why; he's not as strong as his elder siblings but his mind is amazing. And after what feels like hours of standing, the tailor finally says he's done and my part in the making of this annoying dress is over. I'm free! In a sense anyway.

"Mama! Come on, you have to see it!"

"Relax sweetie. I will."

"But you have to see it now!"

"Zip it, squirt! She's comin' with me."

"Boys..."

"She's my Mama! Mine! She comes with me!"

"She's my girlfriend! She's comin' with me!"

"Boys..."

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Boys!"

"They might be like that for awhile."

"*sigh* Okay Iggy. How about you come with me to see big boss Bowser."

Iggy is confused as I pick him up.

"Why are we going to see King Dad?"

"Because I have a few things to talk to him about and if I wait for them then we'll be here all day."

"...Good point."

He makes himself comfortable in my arms, resting his face in the crook of my neck, as I carry him away while the others bicker to themselves. Now my only issue is where to find the good King Koopa. Good thing the castle halls are never empty for very long and a passing Koopatrol provides possible aid. These warriors are the high-ranking guards of Bowser's Castle and most Koopa Troopas dream of becoming Koopatrols. They appear in physique similar to Koopa Troopas, but they wear intimidating spiky armor, including spiked helmets which protect them from being jumped on.

"Excuse me."

Automatically the guard stands at attention and salutes.

"Yes Ma'am, how may I be of assistance?"

While the ma'am thing makes me feel old, I do respect the manners this guy has.

"Could you be so kind as to inform me of Bowser's location? I wish to speak with him."

"The King at this time would most likely be in his study. If not there, he may be in the garden."

Garden? I did not expect that in such a place.

"Thank you kindly for the help good sir."

"Anytime Ma'am. Is there anything else you are in need of?"

"The young Prince and master Roy are quarreling just a few halls back. If you can, please make sure they don't escalate from that."

"Yes Ma'am."

He salutes again before taking his leave and devilish giggles get my attention.

"Something funny, Iggy dear?"

"Hehehe...You called Roy master."

"So?"

"I bet he'd like to hear that~."

I sigh and flick his tail, making him yelp in surprise.

"Don't read into things before you get all the information. I used 'master' as a title like Bowser is King and Jr. is Prince. I know not what title you Koopalings hold in the hierarchy of this monarchy. For sure, you're all nobles of some sort, but that's not really a title. Hmmm...You boys could be Dukes and Wendy a Duchess. As those are the titles that fall just under the lead royal's children."

"Huh...Makes sense to me. Now let's go find King Dad, Lynn. So orders I, Duke Iggy of clan Koopa."

"*giggles* As you wish, oh Duke of cuteness."

Iggy hides his blushing in my shoulder and I smile as we first head for Bowser's study. I at least know where this room is, doors to specific rooms are distinctive compared to basic doors, so it makes things easy.

"I've gotta hand it to him, Bowser's Castle is amazing! Such creative use of lava flows. Talk about your basic eerie atmosphere, huh? Ooooh...It makes me nervous and excited at the same time. *snickers*"

"Come on, it's not that bad."

"Bad? Look at the size of these stone Bowser faces? Or the covered hallways and statues? I can sum up the decorating in two words: pure Bowser. Such dark colors and ominous fire lighting. I freaking love it!"

"Heheh...Know what this reminds me of? A ghost story! This would make the perfect setting for a freaky ghost story! We could have Mario and Luigi play the scary parts. Remind me to do that sometime later."

"Will do, dear."

After a bit more chatter between us, we arrive at the door to Bowser's study, a room I've been to once before. I knock and expect a booming voice to reply, but there is only silence.

"Maybe knock louder? He could be sleeping."

"If he's sleeping I don't want to be rude."

"Okay...I will."

"What?"

Iggy twists around in my hold and repeatedly kicks the door. I panic and pull him away, fearing the backlash from such an annoying pounding. But yet again, we are met with no sound coming from the room.

"Huh...Guess he really isn't in there."

"Shall we check the garden then?"

"Sure. I'll lead the way."

"Of course you will. I don't know how to get out there."

I put him down and he holds my hand as he leads me to the enclosed outside. That's still something that puzzles me. Why would Bowser have a garden? Maybe it's for Peach. Girls like her like pretty flowers, so it makes sense he'd grow his own as opposed to buying them. Then again it's not like he's stingy with money, the guy has solid gold trains for goodness sake, money is no issue when it comes to something in his plans. He really is a mystery sometimes.

Hall after hall, we make it to a deceptively normal door, one I'd not give a second look to. But once he opens the door, my senses are stimulated to things they weren't expecting. There are trees, some normal and some with edibles, though a few seem to be dead/dying from the heat or little sunlight. The same can be said about the bushes and flowers, most have managed to survive but others have succumbed to the environment. Though there is native flora that frames these other plants, Piranha Plants.

Piranha Plants are large, triffid-like or Venus flytrap-like sentient plants. The Piranha Plant is most commonly a leafy green stalk topped with white-spotted red-heads, bisected by a white lip mouth with sharp teeth but can come in multiple other colors. Originally, Piranha Plants were found exclusively in pipes, either darting out and biting anything near or remaining still and spitting fireballs. Currently, Piranha Plants can be found both in and out of pipes, and their fire-breathing ability is rarely used. Despite being plants, Piranha Plants have been confirmed as being sentient and capable of speech on a few occasions, though unlike several other enemies of Mario, they have never been known for forming societies. Piranha Plant individuals such as Petey Piranha, Piranha Bean, and Dino Piranha, among others, reveal that some Piranha Plants can have animal-like bodies, making them capable of walking. Mom Piranha, Dino Piranha, and Peewee Piranha are all known for hatching from eggs, suggesting that Piranha Plants may be oviparous (animals that lay eggs, with little or no other embryonic development within the mother).

"Scared?"

Iggy's voice shakes me from my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Are you scared of them?"

"No. Just lost in thought."

"Well anyway, they won't mess with you as long as you don't get too close."

"I know. Several live around my house. I like to feed them in exchange that they guard my home."

"Why do you need guarding? I thought you weren't royalty."

"I'm not. But that doesn't mean I'm not a target."

He tilts his head confused.

"What does that mean?"

I just smile at him.

"I'll tell you later..."

No, I won't. It's bad enough that Peach's propaganda hates on the Koopa race, I don't need to add my problems of human-hating Goombas to their plate of worries. My problems are my own, no one else's.

"For now, let's find Bowser. Okay?"

He nods and we follow the stone path. Such a mix this place is. Cold stone and hot lava. Dark environment and lighthearted souls. I must really do more research into this Kingdom and its people. I mean, Peach has claimed that Goombas, whose homeland is the Mushroom Kingdom, betrayed their homeland to side with the Koopas. But why? That doesn't make sense. What would be the reason for their treason? They shared the homeland with the Toads for ages. The two races lived in peace. However, at an unknown point in time, the Goombas betrayed their neighbors and joined the Koopa? Something isn't adding up here.

"Lynn?"

Wow, I am really getting lost in my head today.

"Yes, dear?"

He points off to a spot not too far away. There, we see the big bad King of the evil Koopas, sitting on a now flattened bed of flowers and gently petting a Chain Chomp that's bigger than me.

Chomps resemble a ball with chains and come in various sizes. They have big circular eyes, large gaping mouths, and razor-sharp teeth. Most also have a restraining tail-like chain, which is commonly tied to some sort of post to restrict their movement, while others roam free. These creatures are an extremely dark shade of purplish-blue or black with bright white eyes and teeth, though they have been known to be other colors, such as red, blue, yellow, and even gold. Chomps are usually not sapient compared to other enemies of Mario such as Goombas and Shy Guys; they can communicate, however, through dog-like barks. Behavior-wise, they act similar to guard dogs. Some items, such as the Chomp Whistle and Pocket Chomp, can be used to summon Chomps, displaying their traits of loyalty and obedience, similar to a dog. Chain Chomps have a tendency to be very light sleepers as the littlest disturbance is prone to wake them, which if that happens, you better run and never stop.

Such a scene...This creates conflict in my brain. Two different images of Bowser. One of the tyrannical power-hungry overlord and the other one which I've come to know, the loving father who cares for his family as well as his people. Just how messed up are the politics between the Kingdoms anyway?!

"King Dad!"

Iggy's sudden shout spooks both Bowser and the Chain Chomp, the latter bounds off to hide in bushes.

"Geez Louise, Iggy! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"No, sir. Sorry, sir. But she wanted to talk to you."

Bowser simply looks at me while calming down, but once settled he averts his gaze.

"This better be important, you're supposed to be watching Jr.."

He's being abrasive and distant. Why?

"Roy is with him."

"*scoff* Yeah, like that sounds good."

Okay, I don't like this. Time to get to the bottom of this.

"Iggy, sweetie. Can you do me a favor, go see if Jr. and Roy are okay? I wish to speak privately with the King."

Iggy gives me a concerned expression but my soft smile makes him nod before heading back inside.

"So what is it you wanted to talk to me for?"

"That can wait. What's your deal lately?"

He lazily looks at me out the corner of his eye.

"What are you talking about?"

"This! This bogus act you're doing. You've been trying your hardest to avoid me and frankly, it's annoying."

"Heh...Don't flatter yourself, little spitfire. Do you really think I'd bother trying to ignore you?"

"Then why won't you look at me?"

"Because the view is nicer this way."

Oh, you reptilian d-bag!

"Look...I don't know what I did to put you in this crybaby mood, but I'm sorry. So can you stop having this pity party and face me like a man? Because right now, you're brooding like a woman."

That makes him look at me.

"Really? That's what your brain said was okay to say to me? Wow, woman...You really suck at apologizing."

I shrug.

"It's hard to be sincere when you don't know what's wrong. Maybe if you told me what's the problem..."

He sighs heavily and looks away again. Great, now I feel bad. I move over to him and sit down beside him, much to his puzzlement.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's none of my business to pry into your personal life. Just know that I'm here if you need someone to listen."

Now that earns me a very odd look from him and it makes me uncomfortable.

"What?"

"I think that's the girliest thing you've done since being here."

I punch his shell and he chuckles. At least he's not so down like before, but to be on the safe side, I'd best get his mind off things with other stuff to talk about.

"So...That Chomp your pet?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"The way you were petting it. It was sweet."

A little color comes to his face but he hides it with his height. The guy is a good 2 feet and 11 inches taller than me!

"Um...It's a she. And her name is Chomp."

"Oops. My bad."

"It's fine."

Quick! say something to recover from being dumb!

"Is she shy? I've never seen a Chomp runaway before."

"A little bit. She's not good with new people."

"Cute."

Things feel better between us, but silence is quick to take over. Maybe if I keep talking to him?

"I've been thinking a lot lately."

"Oh?"

"I've lived in the Mushroom Kingdom for a long time. In that time I've been told many things, read many things, but there are things that confuse me still. There are many sides to a story, but the ones told back home are one-sided. So, if able, can I ask you for your side?"

He's quiet.

"Sorry. I'm overstepping aren't I?"

"No. It's just...You're the first to ask."

"Now that's just a shame. How does one get to see the whole picture if they only look at one spot?"

"True. But who is more likely to come off as the victim, the pretty Princess or me?"

"I'd like to not answer that, as saying anything usually makes you upset and I'm sick of doing that."

"Heh, smart girl."

He messes my hair playfully for a moment.

"*sigh* You probably know that my people usually go along with whatever I end up doing, right?"

"For the most part, yes. But I also know there are those of your Kingdom that have fled to live under Peach's rule."

"The fools. Eh, not like it matters. When I marry Peach, our Kingdoms will merge into one massive territory."

"Very true."

"But do you know why my people follow me with such loyalty?"

"Do tell."

"It's because of a promise held by the leaders of our clan since olden times. As the King, I've vowed to my people that they'd have revenge against all who have treated Koopas poorly."

I'm stunned. They aren't blindly following him out of fear, riches, or random third thing. They follow him out of respect and justice. This...this explains so much.

"You okay? You look like I just smacked you."

"I...I don't know. I just wasn't expecting that. Heck, I don't know what I was expecting."

"We are a proud people. But most of all, we are loyal. If something happens to even a single one of us, no matter what age or size or status, we all come together to get justice. It's the Koopa way."

"That...That is very noble. You are good people."

A cool smile contorts his maw.

"You aren't so bad yourself."

I in turn smile back at him.

"I try."

I should stop right there. I should leave us in this nice moment. But my mouth doesn't let me.

"It's a shame that the Koopa are painted in such a nasty light."

To that, he cocks his brow.

"What?"

"You alone are constantly being portrayed as and I quote 'Bowser, a villain of pure evil. Cruel and ruthless, Bowser is a power-hungry tyrant whose intentions are to rule the Mushroom Kingdom and the entire universe'. End quote."

Damn it! Why did I say that?!

"So...That's what they think of me over there? Heh...Kinda flattering really."

Oh my god he...likes it? Screw it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth and just roll with it.

"I guess I can see why you like it. It makes you sound cool. Big bad King Bowser Koopa, the mighty and all-powerful ruler of Dark Land that is a master of black magic..."

"Please stop! *cocky chuckles* All this sweet talk is cute, but I'm spoken for."

I can't help but giggle. Ah, his ego is charming sometimes.

"As you wish, my King. But I still have so many nice things to say about you."

This has him playfully smirk.

"Oh? Well...Maybe I'll let you say one more. But only because you're so insistent."

"Only one more? Hmmm...Better make this a good one."

I look up at him, meeting his gaze and putting my hand atop his huge claw much to his confusion.

"You are someone whom I respect wholeheartedly. I'd gladly serve you regardless of the debt. In what little time I've been under your rule, you have shown me better care than I received back home. You are not the monster those fungi claim you to be. You are a man. A better man than this world dares know."

Where in the heck did that come from? Sure I wanted to please that massive ego of his, but honestly, where did all that come from? That came out so personal. So caring. Loving even. I've overstepped a boundary and his face says it all. His blush is dark with embarrassment, his eyes dilated with shock, and even the hand mine rests upon is twitching randomly from being unnerved. I'm ashamed of myself. I cast my eyes to the ground and take my hand back.

"I'm sorry. Please...Forgive me."

He doesn't say a word and my chest feels heavy with guilt.

"I should go see how the children are."

I get up and head back towards the castle.

"Lynsie..."

I'm frozen in place by his sudden voice.

"Y-Yes, my King?"

There's shuffling behind me and I feel my spine liquify as his massive shadow steadily swallows my form. All I can make myself do is watch as he stops behind me and raises his arm up high. Oh crap, I'm dead! Game over, man! Game over! I flinch and shut my eyes when that shadow's hand comes down...Only I am not met with pain but instead a gentle couple of pats on the head.

"You're a good girl."

My brain shuts down for a bit, the realization of not dying combined with the relief of continued living ultimately hits me hard. So much so I grow lightheaded and my body hits the grounds as I faint right there on the spot to which for me all goes dark.

"Uh...Was it something I said?"

Bowser got no response from the girl.

"Lynsie? You okay?"

He nudged her with his foot and still got nothing.

"Uh oh..."

[Meanwhile with Kamek and Kammy]

While the Boss is at play, the magicians will relax. Work made them so abrasive. It's nice when they had moments to calmly settle down and be civil. Such was the case at the moment.

"So...How long have you been serving the throne?"

Kammy stirs a spoon in her tea while in thought.

"Hmmm...A tough question. It's been so long now. Do you recall a time not serving the Kingdom?"

Kamek ponders a bit before taking a bite of a tea sandwich.

"Yeah, when I hatched."

They both get a laugh out of that.

"Honestly though, I've been serving master Bowser since he was a diaper wearing infant. You?"

"Me? I started way back during the rule before Bowser. Had to do something to pay off my wizard school student loans."

"Yikes! Those things are brutal. Ever pay them off?"

"Nope. I don't have to."

"Why is that?"

"I found a loophole. If you still have a balance at the end of a 20 to 25-year income-driven repayment plan, the remainder is forgiven. Plus, one of these plans can decrease your monthly payment, as it is based on a percentage of your discretionary income."

"Really?"

"Just keep in mind that stretching payments over 20 to 25 years may actually end up costing more in the long run. And any forgiven amount at the end of the repayment period will be considered taxable income."

"Wow. Neat trick. But how could you be sure that would even work? I know we Koopa live long, but you know how random life is."

"Please. Like anyone would strike a lady as gorgeous as I."

Kamek rolls his eyes behind his glasses as Kammy looks out a nearby window.

"Back in my day, we got way more respect. And I don't just mean us girls, all Koopas in general. We were the global superpower of the land. For millennia our ancestors called this great Kingdom their home. Now we endure the relentless humiliation as the lands our forefathers tended for generations are used to race go-karts, play golf, and converted into sporting arenas."

"True. Our people are stripped of their dignity and left to starve in squalor from being made into broken families. How many heroes do you know that stomp on mere children? The suicide rate has gone up in the last twenty years. So many of our people just walk off cliffs because they've lost the will to keep going."

"*sigh* Everything we had and need they've taken from us. Those accursed Toadstools...They're stripping this great Kingdom to the bone. Bringing it to its knees. Worst of all, they managed to charm their way into the King's heart. So much lost in these failed capture schemes."

"And what no one really questions or knows is...What will they do when it's finally all destroyed?"

Their heads bow in solemn worried silence...Till the room's door is shattered when kicked in by a panicked Bowser with a body on his shoulder and scared the living hell out of them.

"I broke her!"

"My lord?"

"Broke what?"

"The girl! Lynsie! I broke her!"

The two old souls share a look before thinking of ridiculous reasons as to why Bowser would believe he 'broke' a person.

"Okay Sire; calm down."

"Let's have a look at her."

Laying the human down on the floor, the great Koopa King steps back as Kammy checks the girl's wrist and Kamek does the same with her neck.

"Ah man! Jr. is gonna be so mad at me! I'll never hear the end of it! Please tell me you can fix this? Maybe make her into a Dry Human. Wait, is that even a thing? Do human's even have bones?"

"*whisper* We really need to get him to read that human anatomy book."

"*whisper* Not it!"

"*whisper* Dang it."

"Relax, your Viciousness. There's no need to panic."

"She's still alive. Probably just past out."

The Koopa King breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness. Heh...Dodged that Bullet Bill."

"Dare I ask, what happened to make you think you 'broke' her?"

"Uh...Well...We were talking out in the garden."

"Okay..."

"She was being really nice to me."

"Go on..."

To this, Bowser painfully swallows a lump in his throat before blurting things out in a hurried mess.

"ThenshesaidsomereallynicethingsthatmademyheartgonutsandshefeltbadaboutitbutIsaidshewasagoodgirlandthenshefelldown!"

None of that made any sense to them at all.

"Care to repeat that?"

"Only this time, much slower."

It takes him a moment to settle down, but the recall of the memory makes him fidget with his hands.

"She...She said some things. Very nice things. Things I want Peach to tell me. I guess she felt bad about it after because she tried apologizing. I tried to be kind to her about it. She seemed so guilty. But I don't know what happened because she collapsed right afterward. God, why am I so bad with women?!"

Bowser punches a wall in frustration, leaving a crumbling fist impression in the thick stone, and after letting his words sink in the Magikoopas feel bad for him as well as silly. Bowser has had previous female interactions/relationships, how else would the young Prince come about. But it had been such a long time since either of them saw him like this. Best not open old wounds and just ease the big guy for the time being.

"You mustn't be so hard on yourself, your Highness."

"He's right, Sire. We members of the fairer gender are at times oddly unpredictable. Just look at Wendy for example."

"That...That is true I guess."

"Heck, for all we know, you could've just made her so infatuated that she fainted. But what are the chances of that being the case? It's not like she likes you or anything. And if by some unlikely chance she does, she's a lowly commoner and is beneath you."

"Please, her male plate is full as is without lord Bowser on it. Word is Roy is already barking up her tree. Honestly, it's both cute and sad."

"Really? I heard talk it was Ludwig. I guess if enough dogs see a cat, they all chase it. Am I right?"

The two laugh at such absurdity, unaware of their King's face appearing as though he were just slapped. The grand cogs in his mind turning with new thoughts. And then...it hits him. She really does like him! This is not good. Extremely flattering, yes. Ego boosting, heck yeah. But good? Nope! For one, he's only interested in Princess Peach. Bad enough this girl was invading his dreams on a subconscious level, but now his conscious too and that's only going to distract him. Secondly, the kids are falling for her. If it gets known that she likes him then they'll be brokenhearted, or if someone gossips about him liking her then they'll distrust him for taking her while also claiming Peach. Argh...What a headache!

"My lord?"

"Are you okay?"

Bowser shakes his thoughts away.

"I'm fine. Have her placed somewhere she can recover."

He turns to leave the room.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room, resting. Only get me if it's of the utmost importance. Or else. Got it?"

"Yes, Sire."

"As you wish, my lord."

With that all said and done, Bowser takes his leave. Hoping a nap will help clear his mind of all these confusing thoughts and emotions. With that, the Magikoopa pair carefully remove the girl from off the floor and bring her to a better place to rest. Now all that was left to do is sever the King and do as told.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	8. Waking up and wanna go-go

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

{A fair and lovely princess...A furious monster king...The union of these two will call forth the Chaos Heart, the consumer of worlds. And the Chaos Heart will ravage the sky, and so bring forth The Void. The Void will swallow all...Naught can stop it...unless the one protected by the dark power is destroyed. The hero with the power of the eight Pure Hearts will rise to this task. Though the man in red shall wield formidable powers, one shall stand against him. The man in green shall use the Chaos Heart's power to bring darkness to all.

The red man of mustache is courageous and true. His heart is filled with virtue and concern for his brother. Though he should watch his diet, however, for it is also filled with much alfredo sauce. He should especially cut down carbonara, though it will be hard for that is tasty. If he were to curb his appetite, do some light cardio work, and continue toward his brow, he will no doubt grow to be a figure of immense popularity, yet not grow an immense belly.

Now, the green man of mustache...is questionable. His heart is muddled with certain questionable things. Though he possesses a large heart which makes him timid and cautious, he is kindhearted, brave, and willing to protect those he cares about. Yet there is more to this soul, a shadow lurks within. His head is like a gemstone; multi-faceted and beautiful. It sparkles but there are places that need polishing. What is that which he craves more of? The secrets of the heart are held inside him. An odd incident perhaps? Or maybe something else entirely. Who's to really say.

But a heart of chaos can only be beaten by four of mystery...Four heroes unite, their hope burns forth light to shatter the walls of blight. That is how despair, it dies, such is what we prophesize here in the home of the wise. One Pure Heart shall lead the way to the next...Only those who have not abandoned hope can turn back the prophecy of doom. They walk forward into the future, no matter how dark and uncertain it may be. Nothing is ever decided entirely by fate, you know... All things determine their own destinies. Just as farewells are bittersweet...as long as you live, you can never escape them. To feel sadness is to live...but as long as you are alive, the future is a blank page.}

My eyes shoot open from my weird sleep with a groan. I need to remind myself to ease off reading those Mario Storybooks, they keep haunting my dreams. At least this one wasn't weird. Last time I had a weird dream it was after binge reading the five books that make up the Super Luigi series. The books tell the story of Luigi's adventures in the Waffle Kingdom and quest to save Princess Eclair. The man in green, ha, was tailed by an author who recorded the events of the journey. God, now that made for a super weird dream, it played out as written until the end where I was Princess Eclair and Luigi was my 'hero' who got a kiss for saving me. Ugh! So gross! I mean, Luigi is okay, but so not my type.

Wait...crazy thoughts aside, do I hear...Music?

Sitting up, I notice I'm in a room I don't recognize and Ludwig is in the corner playing on what appears to be a portable pipe organ. Huh...That explains the dream having background music. How long has he and I been here? Why am I here anyway? Oh no...Is this another thing like what happened with Morton?!

"Ah, she sleeps no more..."

I flinch at his voice even though he's still facing the organ and playing it.

"Was your rest a pleasant one milady?"

Best handle this as careful as possible yet remain normal.

"It was...okay. Thank you for the music."

"My pleasure. After all, it is a known fact that flowers bloom more beautifully to music."

Wow, that was about as transparent as the glass of a greenhouse. Puns, quips, jokes!

"May I ask you something?"

"To be fair, you just did."

"Funny. But what exactly is going on?"

He turns his head to look at me but keeps playing as he knows the keys by heart.

"Do you not remember? You fainted in the garden. King Dad brought you back inside and here you have stayed for quite some time."

Oh yeah...Well, that's embarrassing. But hang on for a second...

"Not to sound ungrateful, I do enjoy your company, Ludwig..."

"And I you milady."

"But I find it a tad odd that Jr. or Roy are not here."

That makes him smirk.

"You've noticed? Yes, my brother has taken quite the liking to you. But as you may also be aware of, he can be rather, oh what's the word...Unrefined. And what kind of gentleman would I be if I were to let someone like that into the private chamber of a defenseless slumbering maiden?"

This mannerful way of speaking is contagious.

"I do thank thee, oh noble sir. Thou hath been most kind. How did you sway his attention elsewhere?"

"Heh...My dear, you need not coat your tongue in silver. I enjoy your words all the same."

"Understood dude."

"Cute. As for Roy...He, much as the rest of us, were distraught at first. Lord Bowser did not word things well, so we thought it was worse than it really was."

"That had to be funny."

"Indeed it was. But to ease things for you, since Roy, Jr. and for some reason, Morton, were very eager to get to you, I suggested a little fetch quest to give you some time."

"A fetch quest? Very clever dear. What are they hunting for?"

"Something that is very rare. An albino piranha plant."

"Oooooh...Pretty."

He chuckles a bit and stops playing before scooting over a little on his seat.

"Come milady. Join me."

"I must admit, I have no training in tickling the ivories."

"Heheh...It's fine. I am sure we shall make great music together none the less."

How can I say no to someone willing to join me in making bad jokes? I take a moment to stretch then go over and sit beside him.

"So, Conductor of Chaos...What's the plan? Because I'm assuming this is you getting that one on one time you wanted when we first met."

"Indeed, you'd be correct my flower. After all, it is most unfair that Jr. gets to have you all to himself."

"Well, it is my job to be with him at all times."

"Then it just makes this time we have to ourselves all the sweeter."

It's a bit odd, his approach to this. Roy is more upfront and flirtatious. Morton is sweet but possessive at the drop of a hat type fashion. Yet, Ludwig, he's something else I'm not sure of. But it's nice at least.

"I hear you'll be accompanying Lord Bowser to Peach's party."

"I am."

"Are you nervous?"

"About what?"

"Interacting with Peach and the others. They can be like sharks. Very bloodthirsty when they want to be and you're fresh meat."

"Really now?"

"Peach herself can be quite venomous. Don't let her fool you."

"Don't take me lightly my fine friend. I am not one to be pushed so easily. I will not hesitate to push back. If they try something, I will defend myself...So long as Bowser gives me the okay that is. I can't risk ruining his chances of succeeding...Even if I don't approve of this whole thing."

"A brave flower you are, milady."

"You call doing what you're told bravery?"

"It is an order, yes. But you have your own motives, don't you?"

I scoff.

"Oh yes. I totally want to go to a party full of people I've never met or really like. All while helping a good guy score with a girl that's not worth licking the ground he walks on. Oh! And I'll be in a freaking dress the whole time. Oh yeah...Really a dream come true for me."

He smirks and I look at him funny.

"What?"

"You called King Dad a 'good guy'. I think that's the first time I've ever heard such words used to describe him."

"Just being honest. Everywhere you look, he's the bad guy. But it's not like that. Well...Not completely at least."

"Yeah. That's King Dad alright."

"So why the sudden interest in all this?"

"I have been tasked with composing music for the 'happy couple' upon your return."

"Ah, and it helps the creative juices to flow while in the company of your muse~."

He blushes at that and now I can confirm what Wendy said as true.

"How did you...?"

"Wendy told me."

"*sigh* Figures."

"Is it working though?"

That earns me a look.

"Wait...So you're..."

"Is this your sheet music?"

I point to the paper in front of us and he comes back from his flustered confusion enough to regain his regal composure.

"I may have made a few. But it would be more helpful if I had someone to give me some more...Inspiration."

Cheesy but sweet.

"May I?"

"I insist."

I look at all the keys, letting my hands float over them before pushing a few. Listening, I do it again and again to different keys. Just feeling things out.

"You can work the pedals too. Alter the sounds if you like."

I take that into account, taking my time and playing around with it all.

"Now that's rather naughty of you, milady. You lied to me."

"Huh?"

"You said you weren't trained. Either you are very skilled or you lied about training."

"I swear, I have never been taught. I just feel things out."

He genuinely seems surprised by this.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Freaked me out one time I picked up an accordion and played the first part of 'Here comes the bride'. Did not see that coming."

"Impressive. Let me just..."

He places his hands over mine and it has me blushing while he has me play a few cords.

"Do you know what notes you're playing?"

"Not a clue."

"Oh, my...We have much to go over my flower."

"I'm not that bad."

"You're not bad at all. But if you don't know what you're doing, then how can you hope to improve?"

"Eh...Can't argue with that logic."

"Shall we begin?"

"Maybe some other time."

"Oh? How come?"

"I sense something; a presence I've not felt since..."

"Mama!"

Jr.'s voice rings out like a gong in a cave, making Ludwig sigh while I smile and pat his shoulder.

"Shall we reschedule then?"

That perks him up with hope.

"Of course...I thank you for your time milady."

"And I you, dear."

His smile, so warm and true. Not to mention cute with those fused fangs sticking out in the dead center of his mouth.

"Mama!"

I'm knocked out of my seat, taking Ludwig with us when the seat flips, and Jr. bounces on my back a few times before Roy picks him off me.

"Ease off her, squirt!"

"Sorry."

"Happy to see you too, boys."

Ludwig picks himself up before helping me.

"Thanks."

"Always milady. Now then...If you'll excuse me."

"Take care, dear."

With that, Ludwig takes a bow then leaves. Roy tosses Jr. to the bed and comes over to me all smooth.

"Hey there sugar. So...How you doin'?"

Why do I suddenly feel like I have heard that before on TV?

"I'm good Roy. You okay Jr.?"

The young Prince merely glares at Roy before coming over to me and requesting hugs, which I happily give. Picking him up and holding him to my chest much to Roy's annoyance.

"You worried me, Mama."

"I'm sorry dear. I didn't mean to."

"You ain't sick or anythin', right sugar?"

"No, sweeties. I just got a little lightheaded and fainted like the huge dork that I am. That's all."

They are relieved but I can't help but notice something.

"Ludwig mentioned that Morton might be with you. Is he around?"

"He is."

"He's just bein' slow. Come on ya slow poke!"

Roy shouts into the hall and the moment I hear the heavy patter of steps on stone my spine shivers.

"Mama? Are you cold?"

"No...Just random shiver dear."

No way I'm saying anything in front of these two. A war would start. I'll deal with this on my own and with Bowser if need be. So when Morton peers his head in, like a kid that's unsure if they're in trouble or not, I get on guard while looking innocent and let him know he can enter the room, but he's not alone. In his mitts is a decent size pot and in this pot is a Bone Piranha Plant. It's not albino, but even better in my opinion. These versions of the plant are skeletal versions of normal Piranha Plants with some changes, such as a grayish cranium, holes rather than spots, greenish blue-gray lips, vertebrae instead of a plant stalk, and dark gray leaves that appear dead.

"Whoa!"

"We figured ya like somethin' cool. And what's cooler than somethin' that is bad to the bone?"

"So cool. Thank you, boys."

With one hand I reach out to the plant. It attempts to bite, which is normal. I flick its skeletal top and it is dazed.

"*indiscernible growls*"

It tilts its head confused and replies back to me.

"*indiscernible growl*"

I nod and attempt petting it, this time it doesn't try to bite, and I get to run my hand over it to feel soft bone much to the dismay of the boys.

"Whoa..."

"Mama can talk to plants?"

"Piranha Plants grow around my house, so I take care of them. After some time, you pick up a few basic words. Isn't that right my new friend?"

The bone plant purrs as I rub under its chin.

"We should root this lovely in the garden. It'll live longer that way."

"Fine. But you're stayin' put. Can't have ya blackin' out on us."

"*sigh* Okay, Roy. Jr. sweetie, can you pick a good spot for it?"

"Yeah! You can count on me, Mama."

"No way. I'll pick the perfect spot.

"Nuh-uh. Mama will love where I plant it."

I can't help but laugh at them as I put Jr. down. Jr. then takes the plant from Morton and bolts from the room with Roy following him soon after...leaving Morton in the room with me and making me feel nervous.

"Lynn lady..."

He takes a step towards me but stops when I move back and he pouts.

"Please don't be scared. Morton just..."

He bites his lip then sadly looks at the floor.

"I'm sorry."

Do I believe him? Should I? He sounds honest, but...The Royal Koopa line are masters of deception. That is what Bowser told me and he has yet to tell me a lie. Funny now that I think about it. They are masters of the dark arts, wicked deceptive souls, relentless greedy turtles that only seek to fulfill their evil desires, and yet...They have never once uttered a single lie to me. They are many things, but as I have come to learn, they are far from being so black&white. So...

"Morton want a hug?"

He looks up at me in confused shock.

"R-Really?"

I open my arms to him, all be it a tad hesitantly, and he waits a minute or two to see if this is real before pouncing on me. Making me giggle as he assaults my cheeks with nuzzles and kisses.

"Thank you! Oh, thank you so much! Morton was so worried that you hated Morton."

I'm starting to understand more about his speech. He says he can talk normal under his own will. While this seems correct to a point, his emotions play a huge factor and can overrule his control, thus reverting him to a dumb down simplicity in his speech. Poor boy. Poor adorable yet sometimes scary as heck but just wants some love boy. I smile and give the back of his head some light petting.

"I don't hate you, dear. You just scared me last we met."

"Morton is sorry. Morton is ashamed at Morton's behavior. Morton promises it won't happen again."

"I want to believe you."

"Believe Morton! Please believe Morton! Morton is not lying! Morton swears!"

"...Only on one condition."

"Anything!"

That desperation will be your downfall one day, you poor boy. Lucky for you, I will never tell a soul.

"You have to tell Bowser what happened."

He pales.

"S-Seriously?"

I nod and he fumbles back.

"B-B-But..."

A stern look from me and he quivers.

"But...He might get mad."

"Well, what sounds worse to you, if you tell him now and show him you're taking responsibility or if he finds out later without explanation?"

"...Not telling him."

"So what should we do then?"

"...Tell him."

"Good boy."

"B-But do we have to tell him now?"

I guess I can toss him a freebie this one time.

"I suppose we can hold off telling him right away."

"We can?"

Such hopeful eyes. They get to me.

"Yes, we can."

He becomes giddy and attempts to embrace me but I block him with a finger to his snout.

"But...You will tell Bowser in the next forty-eight hours, or any future cuddling will be canceled. Understood?"

"Not the cuddles!"

"Then we have a deal, yes?"

"Yes! Morton will tell! Just don't take the cuddles away!"

"Sweetie, calm down..."

I take hold of his hands.

"Just keep your promise and everything will be fine. I promise."

He smiles and presses his forehead to mine.

"You're too nice to me, Lynn lady."

"I was always taught to treat others the way I wanted to be treated."

He snickers as our noses rub in Eskimo kisses and I giggle at his cuteness.

"Well don't you two look cute..."

Surprisingly, the Dry Bones tailor stands in the doorway.

"And here I thought it was just Roy that was seeking out your favor."

Morton snarls a bit at the undead Koopa but a small nuzzle to his cheek stops that bomb from going off.

"Morton is my good buddy. As are the others. But I doubt that is why you've wandered away from your work, am I right?"

He nods.

"There was one thing I forgot to get measurements for."

"And that is?"

"Your shoe size. You can't go to a formal party in sneakers."

Oh great.

"I'm not wearing heels."

"I didn't say you had to. But Peach and her friends on the tall side, and you strike me as the kind of girl that doesn't like to be looked down on."

"I don't mind it if it's from someone I respect, like King Bowser. He is both super big and super worthy of my respect."

"Yeah! Morton agrees."

"But those girls...As much as I hate it, I won't stoop to faking anything just to be on their level."

"I see."

He approaches and looks me top to bottom.

"Hmmm...I think I could fix you up with some formal loafers. Loafers are usually flat and typically thought of as both more masculine and comfortable than anything with a heel. That sound like more your style?"

"...I'd be mad if that wasn't true."

"Good. What's your size?"

I blush and avert my gaze.

"*mumbles*"

"Come again?"

"...Take the darn shoe. I'm not saying it out loud."

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

I slide the sneaker off and he measures my foot before his sockets widen.

"Don't you dare say it."

"Hmmm...You're bigger than I guessed."

Once more, I assault the undead tailor and kick him out of the room. Shattering him against the hallway wall much to Morton's surprise.

"Uh...Lynn lady mad?"

"Lynn lady wants to take a nap to forget this just happened."

"But you just woke up?"

"*sigh* Fine. No nap. But I want to go before he reforms."

Morton doesn't question this or my attack. He merely takes hold of my hand and walks me away before the tailor reassembles. Morton's hold is firm yet gentle as we walk the halls, no words are spoken, he's unsure if it's safe to speak or what words might trigger another random attack like I did to the tailor. Of course I won't strike Morton, but he doesn't know that and now he has a couple of examples of me snapping. I guess him calling me kitty was more true than cute because this kitty has very sharp claws.

"So..."

He looks at me.

"Sorry about back there. I didn't mean to spook you."

"It's okay. You didn't scare Morton."

"I'd understand if you were."

"Nope. Nothing scare Morton. Morton is fearless!"

I smirk.

"Hey, isn't that fire flower?"

His grip tightens as his eyes widen before running.

"Dahhhhhhhhhh!"

He screams, all while dragging me behind him and barely able to keep pace.

"Morton stop! You're going too fast!"

He can't seem to hear me over his own voice. If he keeps going I'll be dragged along the stone. I have to get his attention or off the ground, no way I can slip out of vice-like grip. With no idea if this will work, I use what little stamina I got left to speed at his side before leaping at him and he is caught off guard. While effective, my leap is more of a sloppy glomp which results in knocking him off his feet and grabbing at me as he falls to his side before flipping to spin on his spiked back till we hit one of the random Bowser statues.

"*groans*"

"*slurred* Did I always have eight fingers on one hand?"

I haven't been this dizzy in a long time.

"You okay Lynn lady?"

"I think so."

"Wow. That looked like it hurt."

In our haze we barely make out the figure of Kamek hovering nearby and cleaning his glasses.

"You two lose any of your marbles?"

"Morton doesn't have any marbles?"

"That answers part one of the question."

My shoe is sent hurtling towards the Magikoopa, but due to dizziness, it misses pathetically.

"And that answers the other part."

"What do you want Kamek?"

I ask while trying to pick myself off Morton with the help of the statue, but he refuses to let go. So instead I'm pulling him up with me.

"If you must know, I was on my way to see if you were awake. And as it appears, you clearly are."

"Hooray! Your glasses work."

"*sigh* Sarcasm is unbecoming of you."

Morton blows a raspberry in my defense as we finally return to standing.

"Huh, how charming. Either way, I was sent to see you as the King requests to see you."

"I didn't do it!"

He looks at me funny.

"Do what?"

"Whatever it is that I might be in trouble for."

Kamek slaps his palm to his face.

"Just come with me before I get a headache."

I guess I have to face the music for whatever Bowser has in store for me. Wonder what he wants? Oh god, what if it's about what I said in the garden? I don't remember what I said, but I know I definitely made a complete and total ass out of myself. I deserve whatever the punishment might be for that. Yet when I attempt to move, Morton pulls me back.

"Sweetie?"

"Release the girl, master Morton. This doesn't concern you."

Morton just glares.

"Sweetie, if you let me go I promise that we can have cuddle time later."

His face softens.

"Honest?"

"Yes."

"Pinkie promise?"

He holds up his little claw and I smile.

"Cross my heart and hope to game over."

I wrap my pinkie around his claw and he grins in delight.

"Come on already, girl. I don't have all day."

"Yeah-yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming."

Morton lets me go and I kiss his forehead as a reward for being good before getting my shoe back then leaving with Kamek. Vaguely we can still hear Morton behind us, giddily chuckling to himself and skipping if the pattern of his steps is any indication. Something which Kamek takes notice of.

"So...You seem to really be getting along with the boys huh?"

Why does he have such an insinuating tone?

"I suppose so."

"I guess it's a trait you human females have."

What?

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know. Swaying the hearts of Koopa males. Must be nice to have such power over the royal family and all you have to do is bat your eyes."

"Excuse me?!"

"But you seem like a nice girl. If you were truly after something, you would've done it by now."

"Okay, buddy. You need to stop talking because clearly, you have no idea what you're talking about."

"Then do tell."

I grab the tip his broom and he jerks to a stop harshly.

"W-What do you think you're doing?"

I glare at him out the corner of my eye.

"I don't like your tone or what you're presuming of me...Sir. So let me clarify this now because I am someone who hates to repeat themselves."

With a swift yank of the broom, he's dismounted and snatched by the scruff of his robes in my other hand. I then pin the short wizard to the wall and get in his face, much to his worried shock.

"You know darn well I am not here for any reason other than a random flip of fate's coin. So for you to think I have any motive or am working on some sort of diabolical plot that involves the royals of this house is beyond ridiculous. And if you continue to provoke me by saying more slander of this caliber than you will not like my retaliation, as it will be most unpleasant."

"Oh yeah? You, a powerless girl are threatening me? The hand of the King?"

"You misunderstand me, Kamek. I don't make threats. I make promises. And I never break my promises."

"And what do you think you're going to do to me once I inform Bowser of this? You'll be out of here so fast your head would spin."

"Go ahead. Tell him. Tell him the little spitfire struck fear in his most powerful mage. Yeah, that won't sound humiliating and be totally believable."

He opens his mouth to retort, but whatever the comment was it didn't make it out.

"Yep. That's what I thought. But seriously Kamek, what brought this about? I've done you no wrong. I've been good to the family. What earns me this venom that you so rudely spat my way?"

"I'm doing my job. I will do everything and anything to ensure the safety of my so *cough*...My king and his family. And when it comes to you humans...I'm more cautious than Bowser tends to be."

"Quite understandable. I can't blame you there. So for that, I forgive you."

I put him down on his feet but keep a firm grip on the broom.

"But I too have been assigned a duty by the King. I am to tend to his son and by association the Koopalings. Their happiness equals my own. I would not dream of jeopardizing this. Humans have already plagued the Koopa enough as it is. I see this almost as a short-term ambassadorship. I represent myself and any decent person willing to understand your side of things rather than blindly obeying the will of the Mushroom. So keep that in mind when you see me with the children. I want them happy. All of them. So if I must be friendly, I will. If they want more, I will tread lightly and do so. But if the King wishes more of me for them, I shall obey. For I am but a guest in this home and it would make me a terrible guest to disrespect my humble host who has been more than kind to me. Make sense now, dude?"

He looks at me hard in the eyes. Judging. Gauging. Thinking.

"Fine. I guess I shouldn't have said what I did. I can't let the few bad apples I've encountered represent the whole bunch."

"Thank you. That's all I ask."

"With that all said and done, can I have my broom back now?"

I smirk.

"What? This broom? You want this broom?"

"Yes. I want that broom. My broom."

"I don't know. Do you really think you've earned it?"

"Human, you will return my broom this instant!"

"Say the magic word then."

"Wha...?

"Come on, you know it. The magic word."

"Can you be more specific?"

"Sheesh, it's please. Would it kill you to just say please?"

A little bit of color dusts his cheeks in embarrassment.

"You can be an irritating little insect sometimes, you know that, girl?"

"And you're stubborn as a mule."

"Keh keh keh...Why thank you, my dear. What a lovely compliment."

"But I'm still waiting to hear that magic word, good buddy."

"*sigh* Can you please give me back my broom?"

"Now was that so hard?"

I offer the broom and he snatches it quickly, nuzzling the handle a bit.

"So...Shall we continue to Bowser then?"

Realization pops to his face and he hops onto his wooden steed.

"Right. We mustn't keep the King waiting."

He hovers off and I follow in stride. The seconds ago event having been left in the past as if never happened. Eventually we come to a room and he opens the door for me.

"After you."

"Oh my. Such chivalry."

I enter the room and he shuts it instantly behind me. Not liking this, I check the handles but they refuse to function. I'm locked in.

"Kamek?"

"Sorry girl. I'd love to stick around, but I've got places to be, lives to ruin. You know how it is for us big wigs."

"Kamek, you weasel! What have you done?!"

"Enjoy the makeover, little spitfire. Kee hee hee!"

I hear his laughter fading out as I pound on the doors.

"Kamek! Get back here! When I find you, I'm going to shove that broom up your butt and turn you into a Maigkoopsicle! Do you hear me?! Kamek!"

"Hi there mommy."

Oh, sweet lord...That's Wendy's voice. And didn't Kamek say something about a makeover? I slowly turn around and see she's standing by a very decked out vanity that's load with more makeup than I ever wanted to see in my life.

"H-H-Hey Wendy. How are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm really happy today."

"O-Oh? How come?"

"Because today's the day you fulfill your promise to me. You remember, don't you?"

"Uh..."

"The day you wear makeup is the day you wear a dress. And you'll be wearing a dress when you go to Peach's party with King Daddy."

I regret! I regret everything!

"B-B-But the party isn't today...Is it?"

"Nope. But I was told to practice so you can look your best for the big day."

"W-Who told you to..."

"Kammy."

That's it...I have to thoroughly beat up some pesky Magikoopas when I get out of here.

"Come here mommy dearest. I'm going to make you pretty."

She grabs a curling iron and hairbrush before slowly walking over to me ominously. All I can do is cower and scream 'NO' like I'm about to be slaughtered. Not my best moment or the most dignified, but it's all I got in me. And I'm okay with that.

[Meanwhile: In Bowser's study]

The King of Koopas was at his desk working on his perfect birthday present for his beloved Peach. A highly delicate colored glass sculpture of the fair maiden of his desire. Made completely from the use of his own fire breath and molded by sight using an image of the Princess that is being held up by his dear assistant Kammy. This was painstaking work. His breaths had to be continuous so that the molten glass wouldn't begin hardening. And each fine detail was done with precision by his own claws. Truly, this was going to impress her. This was going to win her over. This will grant him her favorable love. This will...

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

*CRAAASH*

And just like that, the room was filled with doom.

"Kammy..."

"Yes?"

"What was that sound?"

"Which one?"

"The first one."

"I think that was the human. I'm guessing Kamek just brought her to Wendy. She's trying out makeup for the party. You know...To make her look good so as to be a better buffer for you."

"Oh...And the other sound?"

"That...That was the Peach glass."

"..."

"Sire?"

"Kammy..."

"Y-Yes?"

"Remind me to get revenge on Lynsie later."

"What time?"

"Is my four o'clock open?"

"If we remake this and finish without further issue, then yes."

"Good. Now let's try this once more. *mutters* That girl is going to regret waking up and much more."

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	9. Difficulty level increase again

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Well, yesterday sucked. I was stuck with Wendy for nearly three hours. Dear lord, the horror. The insane beauty designed horror! It got so bad I tried to break out of the room and she had to use her rings to restrain me so she could continue. Each look was finished with her taking a photo before cleaning me up and starting over with a new look. I hated every second of it. At least her commentary was okay. Heck, if it wasn't our chit-chat I'd have lost my mind, it was a pleasant distraction none the less. But at least when it was done, it was done, until the day of the party which is any day now. I mean that I have literally lost track of time here and have no clue when this damn party is happening. Now that would've been the worst part, but then later in the day Bowser snatched me away from the kids and brought me to the throne room.

There he stood me on a very tiny pedestal then had me hold a large and rather heavy egg in each hand. He wouldn't tell me why just said not to put them down till he told me I was done. He just sat there and watched while tending to some minor administrative work. This was confusing and easy at first. But after some time, the weight of the eggs began to wear on me. My arms took a long time to get so weak, Bowser's eyes on me the entire time, and then it happened, but not how I figured it would. A servant Koopa, who had been the King's cup-bearer and was silent the whole time, suddenly sneezed surprisingly loud. The sound was so sudden that not only did I get spooked and lose the eggs, but Bowser ends up choking on his drink when he gasped. I fell over now unable to keep standing and full of guilt over the eggs that had shattered. But that changed to confusion as the "eggs" were painted stone.

Bowser, upon seeing the array of worried expressions my face went through, finally told me it was all just a means of payback for something I did earlier. I was too confused to be mad at him for it at the time, but whatever, it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm planning to get back him later. Now that would be silly of me. Heheheh. At least today is nice so far. As the norm, I'm taking care of Jr. and helping him out with some of his homework. Being a Prince doesn't exempt him from schooling and it's annoying paperwork. But we're not alone.

Roy has taken the time to join us, though not as interested in helping Jr. as I am. He's more content with sitting with me on the floor and holding me close with my back to his chest, allowing him access for some easy to get nuzzles that annoy Jr to no end. Though there is a thought that worries me. Eventually, I'll have to go find Morton and see if he'll do as he promised. I want to trust him with doing it on his own, what with cuddles being on the line and he loves cuddles, but it wouldn't hurt to be safe than sorry. I don't want to make trouble for anyone, but this needs to be taken care of before it gets worse.

"Mama."

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I need help with question sixteen."

"What's the question?"

"How much wood could a Chargin' Chuck chuck. If a Chargin' Chuck could chuck wood?"

Roy and I just look at him funny.

"Is that really the question, squirt?"

"Even if it's not, I believe the answer would be as much wood as a Chargin' Chuck could chuck if a Chargin' Chuck could chuck wood."

Jr. just snickers.

"Silly Mama."

"Just tell her the real question, brat."

"Be nice, Roy. Or I won't request that 'us time' from Bowser."

"Wait, ya didn't ask him yet? I thought you did that already."

"I was going to, but then I didn't get the chance and it slipped my mind."

"Not cool, sugar."

"Hey, I'm gonna ask him. Just give me time."

"Mama...What's 'us time'?"

Oh boy, this is going to be iffy.

"I'll tell you, but first you tell me the real question."

"Okay. Question sixteen...Are Rexes dragons or dinosaurs?"

I smile at this, it's something I've studied for myself.

"Ah, that's a good one. Despite living notably in Dinosaur Land among other places, Rexes are dinosaur-like dragons. They're kind of like opposite Yoshies, which are dragon-like dinosaurs. But oddly enough, the scientific name for the Yoshi species is T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopa, yet they are not part of the Koopa species. At least, they haven't been for a very long time when they branched out into their own evolution genus. But you can still see their former Koopa roots on their backs, those tiny shells have fused to their bodies and are slowly getting smaller till one day they won't have them at all."

"Whoa! That's confusing."

"Geez, sweetheart. How do ya know all that?"

"What can I say? I like to study all sorts of things."

"Heh. You can be so cute when you're nerdy."

Roy playfully squeezes my waist and I giggle till Jr. clears his throat to get my attention.

"Now it's your turn, Mama. What is 'us time'?"

I mentally grimace just thinking of how I'm suppose to say this without sounding creepy or stupid.

"Me and her are gonna head out to spend some alone time together. Ain't that right, sugar~?"

It doesn't help that Roy further instigates/perpetuates this by kissing his way up my neck and ends nipping at my ear, making me shiver very much so to Jr.'s annoyed displeasure.

"Roy, don't be so crude about it. It's just an outing as friends. It's not a big deal."

That has Roy looking at me funny. Like what he just heard was different than what he knew/expected.

"So you two aren't...?"

"No, sweetie, it's not a date."

"Really? *gasp* Then can I go with you, Mama?"

"That's up to your father, sweetie."

Now Roy is pouting as he whispers in my ear.

"What are ya doin', sugar? It's supposed to be just us."

"It's fine. Don't work yourself up over nothing."

"I need more help, Mama."

"Sure, sweetie. Come sit with me and I'll help."

Jr. happily hops away from his desk and plants himself squarely on my lap to Roy's annoyance, but Roy's growing scowl can do nothing to Jr.'s cheeky grin as he innocently holds his book open to me.

"See? These are confusing."

"Hmmm...Are all these zoology based today?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then this is going to be easy as pie."

"Mmmm...Pie."

"Dang, now I'm cravin' pie."

"I think there might be some in the kitchen. Not sure what flavor though."

"Can we stop for a snack break Mama? Pretty please?"

"Fine, but after one more question."

"Yahoo! Okay, um, how does a Cobrat become a Tryclyde?"

"A very hard question, as those snakes live in Subcon and that is a land not easy to get to, so study on them has been very rare. I would guess, like any hydra, the Cobrat at some point was cut at the neck and the other two sprouted from the wound."

Jr. writes my response down before putting the book on the floor and getting off me.

"Yay! Pie time!"

He heads for the door but stops when Roy and I haven't moved.

"Aren't you coming, Mama?"

I shake my head.

"I'm not hungry. I'm just going to look further into your book and have the answers ready for when you come back."

"You're going to do my work for me? *excited gasp* Best Mama ever!"

I giggle at this silly boy.

"I did not say I'd do it for you. Just have the answers ready in case you need them."

"Ah man. Roy? You coming?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"But I thought you wanted pie too?"

"I'm too comfortable. *nuzzle* Bring me back somethin' tasty."

Jr. glares.

"Get it yourself! And stop being weird with Mama!"

"I'm not being weird, squirt!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Roy, go with Jr. please."

Roy pouts at my request as I nonchalantly begin to read Jr.'s book.

"Sugar?"

"Don't make him do things for you when you can do them yourself."

"But..."

"It's fine. Big boys can do their own work. I'll be here when you return."

With my nose firmly planted in the book, Roy huffs out his nose and reluctantly gets up.

"Ya better be here when I get back."

Whether he means that to sound like a command or not, I don't know, I just roll my eyes and continue reading.

"Like I have a choice."

He doesn't seem to like my tone as he shoves my head down into the book before storming out of the room, leaving Jr. and me with mixed confusion.

"Why'd he do that, Mama?"

"Don't know. Why not ask him?"

Jr. follows Roy and now I'm alone with just the book to occupy me. I get the feeling it's going to be one of those days when things make no sense. At least the book can't act odd or be frazzled like people do. I don't get people sometimes. Probably my fault, what with being a loner and all. Interactions with others are almost all done on instinct. My brain feels things out and figures how others want me to respond. It works but I kind of hate it. Mainly because when my own emotions take hold of my own personality it negates my autopilot and I come off differently. It doesn't help when around multiple people either. It's one of my weaknesses, much like heights, ladders, and bridges. I just don't trust them. I don't know why; I just don't.

"Huh? How are Birdos prehistoric birds? They look nothing like any bird ever. Heck, they're closer to Yoshies than birds. They should be considered dinosaur or dinosaur-like if anything. Oooh. Maw-Ray are massive eels that, while whale sized as is, if able to live uneventful lives can become Mega Unagi. Mega Unagi are even more gigantic versions of Maw-Rays, they are very dangerous and can destroy everything they attack, such as Brick Blocks and Question Blocks. There is no way to defeat a Mega Unagi. Wow...That's scary."

"Do you know that you're talking to yourself?"

I look away from the book to see Larry in the open doorway. I guess the boys didn't bother shutting the door when they left.

"What's up, Larry?"

He looks around.

"You're alone?"

"Jr. and Roy were here. But they went to get a snack."

"Huh...So you can spend time with me then?"

"As long as we stay in this room, then yes."

He cheers and with no warning, he jumps on my back, knocking me face first into the floor.

"Larry?!"

"I want to practice my skills and not go out to the barn. So giddy up, horsy."

I peel myself off the floor and kneel as he situates himself better. When ready to ride, he jabs his heels into my sides and I yelp into a deep snarl that has him concerned.

"Um...Please giddy up?"

I grumble a sigh before moving to be on my hands and knees.

"You're not going to have me jump through hoops, are you?"

He smiles, happy to hear I might be willing to do this.

"Nope. I just want to practice giving direction. If I can move you, then I can better my ability on horseback."

"Fine. Just don't kick me or pull my hair hard. That hurts."

"Okay."

He hugs my head and I smile.

"It's a good thing Jr.'s room is so big."

"Yeah. Plenty of space to move around in."

"With your help, I'll be ready for the reining contest in no time."

Reining is a riding competition for horses where the riders guide the horses through a precise pattern of circles, spins, and stops. All work is done at the lope (a slow, relaxed version of the horse gait more commonly known worldwide as the canter), or the gallop (the fastest of the horse gaits).

Originating from working cattle, reining is often described as a form of dressage riding, as it requires the horse to be responsive and in tune with its rider, whose aids should not be easily seen, and judges the horse on its ability to perform a set pattern of movements. The horse should be willingly guided or controlled with little or no apparent resistance and dictated to completely. A horse that pins his ears, conveying a threat to his rider, refuses to go forward, runs sideways, bounces his rear, wrings his tail in irritation or displays an overall poor attitude is not being guided willingly, and is judged accordingly.

The reining pattern includes an average of eight to twelve movements which must be executed by the horse. Patterns require the following movements:

Circles: the horse must perform large, fast circles at a near-gallop and smaller, slow circles at a lope. They should be perfectly round, with the rider dictating the pace of the horse. There should be an easily seen change of speed as the rider transitions from the large, fast to the small, slow circles. Most circles incorporate changes of direction that require a flying change of lead.

Flying lead change: the horse changes its leading front and hind legs at the lope mid-stride, during the suspension phase of the gait. The horse should not break gait nor change speed. While completing a change at speed can improve one's score, precision is the most important factor in judging: A horse taking more than one stride to complete the change, or a horse that changes early, late, or that changes only the front feet and not the hind feet will be penalized.

Rundown: the horse gallops or "runs" along the long side of the arena, at least 20 feet (6 m) from the fence or rail. A rundown is a required movement prior to a sliding stop and a rollback to the designated direction (either towards the judge or towards the nearest wall depending on the pattern).

Sliding Stop: the horse accelerates to a gallop and then suddenly comes to a complete halt, planting its hind feet in the footing and allowing its hind feet to slide several feet while continuing to let its front feet "walk" forward. The back should be raised upward and hindquarters come well underneath. A particularly powerful stop may depend on arena conditions, produce flying dirt and a cloud of dust. The movement should finish in a straight line, and the horse's position should not change. This movement is a crowd favorite, along with spins.

Back or Backup: the horse backs up quickly for at least 10 feet (3 m). The horse must back in a perfectly straight line, stop when asked and hesitate a moment before the next movement. It is judged on how quick, smooth and straight the line is.

Rollback: the horse immediately, without hesitation, performs a 180-degree turn after halting from a sliding stop, and immediately goes forward again into a lope. The horse must turn on its hindquarters, bringing its hocks well under, and the motion should be continuous with no hesitation.

Spins or Turnarounds: beginning from a standstill, the horse spins 360 degrees or more (up to four and one-quarter full turns) in place around its stationary inside hind leg. The hind pivot foot remains in essentially the same location throughout the spin, though the horse will pick it up and put it down as it turns. Spins are judged on correctness, smoothness, and cadence. Speed adds to the difficulty and will improve the score of a correctly done spin. A pattern requires at least one set of spins in each direction. Horses must stop the spin in the designated place or be penalized for over or under spinning. The term Pivot is sometimes used to describe a turn on the hindquarters of up to 360 degrees where the horse has to keep a rear pivot foot stationary. In 4-H competition, pivots of 90, 180, or 360 degrees are sometimes used in pattern classes to introduce youth riders to reining concepts.

Pause or Hesitate: the horse is asked to stand still for a few seconds to "settle" between certain movements in the reining pattern, particularly after spins. Pauses are not judged as a movement per se, but a horse that is ill-mannered or behaves with impatience when asked to wait will be penalized.

How do I know all this? Because one time I asked Larry what he was doing and he proceeded to tell me for over an hour and crammed my brain with a ton of equestrian stuff. Now it's time to see if he's as good as he talks himself to be. He begins by taking hold of one rein (my hair) in each hand at a 30-degree angle. Next, he cues the horse (me) to walk forward using his legs and seat, so I slowly get moving.

"Good, good. Now let's try..."

"Don't tell me. If you tell me then I'm not picking up on your guidance and just know what you want."

"Oh...Thanks."

"No problem. And might I just say...Neigh!"

He laughs as he pulls back with gentle pressure on the rein in his left hand. Squeezing back, rather than tugging. As he actively cues with the left rein, the continued contact on the right rein as controls the amount of bend I will take as I turn. At the same time, as he cues with the reins, he applies pressure with his left leg onto my side so that I am turning around his leg. Careful not to lean as we turn, but staying straight on my back, with his weight on his inside hip bone. As proof I obeyed the cue correctly, he stops the pressure of his hand and leg, thus I stop as well.

"Yay! You did it!"

"Neigh!"

"Now let's try out some circles."

"Neigh?"

Seemingly forgetting my request of being gentle, he kicks me and instinct have me bolting from the pain in my sides. He's all giggles with excitement as I gallop about the room all wild and yet spinning under his reining control while he bucks on my back like a rodeo cowboy.

"Oooh! Whoo! Yeah! Faster horsey! Faster!"

All this spinning gets to the both of us eventually. He tumbles off me, landing on his back and too dizzy to correct himself. I can't see straight, the world in a constant jumble, I stumble about drunkenly till I smack into Jr.'s bed frame and crash on the floor rug like I was just clubbed over the head, seeing stars and all before blacking out.

[Meanwhile: down the hall]

Roy and Jr. bicker constantly as they return with snacks, mostly because Jr. kept on Roy's case every time the bad boy in pink kept trying to ditch the Prince to return the girl they both adore, even if one of them has stronger feelings.

"You have to back off, Roy."

"Make me, squirt."

"Mama belongs with Papa."

"She does not. She's mine!"

"You can say that all you want, but it doesn't make it true."

"If you don't shut your trap, I'm gonna take that cake and stuff your mouth till ya can't speak. Capeesh?"

"Blah-blah-blah. You're all bark and no bite."

"Wanna bet?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Do ya really wanna press your luck, brat?"

"You aren't going to do a gosh darn thi...!"

Roy cuts Jr. off by smashing his pie into Jr.'s face and stunning the young Prince.

"Heh. Next time, listen to your betters and keep your mouth shut."

The pie slowly slides off Jr.'s face, leaving his head coated in whipped cream and strawberry filling, then splats on the floor. For a moment there is silence. Then, the young Prince began to sniffle and then...

"*cries* Mama! *sobs*"

Jr. runs as fast as his little legs can force him and Roy, realizing this will make him look super bad to the person he's trying to entice, tries to catch up so he can save face. Though upon making it back to the room, things were not as they left them. Larry was stuck on his back and groaning lightly in the middle of the room. Lynsie was knocked out by Jr.'s bed, her face on the floor and slightly under the bed while her body was bent over itself in a comical fashion. What the heck happened while they were gone?

"Mama!"

Jr. comes to his pretend mother's aid while Roy sighs and approaches Larry, putting his foot on his younger brother's belly which rouses Larry's attention.

"Huh? Oh...Hey there Roy."

"Sup Larry. So, baby bro, mind answerin' somethin' for me?"

"*giggles* Only if you stop being upside down."

Roy rolls his shade covered eyes and uses the same foot on his brother's belly to stomp the floor. The resulting strike of his foot on the floor causes a tremor that ripples the stone in a way that defies the realm of physics, but what it does do is tosses Larry into the air and has him land on his chest. It also shakes up the room, its contents, Jr., and Lynsie, both of whom wind up on the bed due to the bounce.

"Yay! No one's upside down anymore."

"Talk Larry."

"Horsey went wild. It was awesome! Heh heh heh!"

"Horsey?"

Larry points to Lynsie and Roy groans.

"Stick to your real horses, bro. She's not your filly to break."

"*sigh* I guess your right. My bad."

And with that, Larry gets up, all be it a tad tipsy, then waves it off as he leaves, like all of this was as normal as can be.

"How's she doin', squirt?"

"She's sleeping. But I think she bumped her head when we flew up here."

Roy mentally cursed himself for that. He didn't expect his strength to be a bad thing. Now he would have to check himself in the future, he wouldn't want to hurt her. That would be a big mood killer. Suddenly she stirs, and not gently either. Shirking away from Jr. and off the bed, the look on her face was far from the normal pleasant one they know.

"Mama, you're okay!"

She didn't seem to hear him.

"Sugar? Ya feelin' alright?"

She gave no reply.

"Mama?"

All she did was walk towards the door. This wasn't right.

"Hey..."

Roy blocks her path and the room's exit.

"Move."

She didn't even sound the same. Her voice was darker, holding a tensely annoyed tone.

"Not till ya talk to us."

"Move. Now."

"Ain't happenin'."

She glares and he stares her down, refusing to yield.

"I grow weary of this..."

Much to their surprise, she shoves Roy aside and leaves them dumbfounded.

"Roy...Why is Mama mad?"

"I don't know. But I'm gonna find out. You stay put."

"But..."

"Just listen to me for once!"

That made Jr. recoil slightly but nod with understanding before Roy went after the moody human.

I am not in a good mood. My head is pounding in so much pain it hurts just to have my eyes open. I just want to find a nice quiet dark place to lay down for a while and sleep till this goes away.

"Sweetheart!"

For the love of god...I can't deal with this, not now.

"Hey!"

Roy runs up and grabs my shoulder. Making me turn on him with a snap.

"What?!"

"What's your damage? You're being a total jerk right now."

"Leave me be, Roy."

"First, you blow off our date by invitin' Jr. like ya don't even care. Then ya give me attitude for no reason. What's with ya?"

My head...it hurts...so much...

"Roy...Just leave me alone."

"No. Not till I get some dang answers out of ya."

It hurts...

"You have five seconds to go."

"Or what?"

"Four..."

Just leave already.

"Talk to me."

"Three..."

Go away.

"Sugar..."

"Two..."

Just go!

"Say something'!"

I don't want to hurt you, you big dummy!

"One."

I step away to go and he aims to stop me, but this doesn't end well. I go to push him, he grabs my hands, he pulls me, I yank back, he lunges forward, I jab my knee out, he hits the floor hard and holds his gut.

"*wheeze* Sugar...Why...?"

"Stop..."

I trudge away.

"Just stop, Roy."

I hold my pounding head in my hands, rubbing the temples to ease this pain as I make my way down the hall. All Roy can do is watch as I leave him there. The blow served to him was minor, just enough to knock the wind out of him. What really had him hurt was that she was willing to strike him and even kick him while he was down by not apologizing. He didn't know what was wrong and he wanted to find out, but after what just happened...maybe now wasn't the best time to poke the metaphorical bear.

"*sigh* Girls are so complicated sometimes."

Aspirin...This kingdom for some extra strength aspirin. My head feels like it's going to implode. This pain will only increase the longer I remain awake. Light, sound, and movement all hurt. I need to sleep this off. I need to crawl into a hole and not come out for some time. I need...oh...that will do nicely.

An unlocked broom closet is not what most people would call a good or even decent place to rest, but it will do as I need. It's dark, devoid of sound, and judging by the level of dust on some of the things inside, it's a safe bet that I won't be disturbed for a very long time. I maneuver some towels and garbage bags into a makeshift nest before curling into a ball for some hopefully healing slumber. Maybe when I wake back up all my pain will be gone and I can repair things with Roy. Gosh, that was bad of me. I just hope he can forgive me. After all, they say time heals all wounds. Okay Sandman, let the healing begin.

[Many hours later]

"What do you mean you CAN'T find her?!"

Bowser was far from a happy camper at the moment.

"W-We're sorry, oh malevolent one."

"B-B-But the human just can't be located."

The King's Spiny subordinates tremble, knowing all too well that what is to follow is anything less than pleasant. Spinies or Spiny when singular are quadrupedal Koopas with a menacing look that has a spiked shell and look similar to Buzzy Beetles due to their shells over growing their own bodies for more protection.

"This is UNACCEPTABLE!"

The roar of searing flame was only survivable due to them ducking away into their protective shells.

"Please sire, there's no need to be so upset. "

"We can get someone else to take care of the Prince."

To that, Bowser glares with enough force to make a blind person shiver with dread.

"A caretaker? You think that's all she is? That girl is crucial to my plan for taking Princess Peach! I can't simply replace her. There is no time to not only find a willing woman to aid me, but also one that will fit the damn dress!"

His ire for this whole situation was burning to the point of cinders wafting out with each word he said.

"So unless she is found in the next five minutes, I will personally see to it that no one, and I mean no one, will be spared the brutal beat down I will unleash! The hurt that you will all feel will be so great, your great-grandchildren will still be feeling it! I will rain down pain like the fires of..."

"*ahem* Lord Bowser, sir..."

The ghostly voice of a Boo whispers into the throne room before the specter itself becomes seen. Though their specifics change from where they tend to live, Boos are usually bashful, cowardly, spherical ghosts. They usually have black eyes, fangs, and long tongues. Boos have a unique, high-pitched laugh as well as a haunting laugh. Due to their reclusive nature, most species of Boo will cover their faces and become intangible when looked at, they will often sneak behind their victim and strike when their back is turned. While the ghosts generally appear to be more afraid of their victims than their victim is of them, this is not always the case. Some Boos have absolutely no problem meeting their victim's gaze, and will even try to attack. They also speak their own language called Booish.

"My team has found the human of which you seek."

"You have?"

"Indeed."

"Well...Bring her to me."

"No."

The all too innocent chirp in the ghost's voice hit the King's ears in an unpleasant way.

"No? Heh...What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, no. As in, we will not be giving her to you..."

"WHAT?!"

"Unless you give us something in return."

Bowser snarls like a volcano about to blow but the Boo merely smiles.

"Shall we discuss the terms of our exchange?"

Shifting into a stern look, the King makes a choice.

"You two...Leave."

Sensing the level of rage fuming off their King like an aura of death, the Spinies dare not to question his order and leave the throne room. Now alone with solely the King of Koopas, more Boos begin to appear.

"What are your demands?"

"Nothing big. We need nothing that the living do. All we want is information."

"About?"

"The location of our King."

Bowser just huffs.

"What makes you think I know where that living tablecloth is?"

"We know King Boo has worked with you on numerous occasions. It's why we too work for you, out of respect for this alliance between our kingdoms. But while this employment has been most entertaining..."

The other Boos snicker.

"We can not allow our Kingdom to go without its ruler any longer than it already has. So if you'd be so kind as to give us what we want...We will do the same for you."

"*snort* Are you sure you even want that spook back? I mean, he got beat by Green 'Stache with a vacuum cleaner twice. Maybe you all can use a new leader."

The ghosts were not amused.

"It was just a suggestion."

"Do we have a deal or not? The location of our King for your maiden plaything."

That made Bowser unintentionally blush.

"S-She is not my plaything. Lynsie is just my son's keeper and pawn."

"Sure, whatever. No one cares what you do with who behind closed doors."

"I do not like her!"

"Again, we don't care."

"I DON'T!"

"Do you want her back or not?"

"NO! I DON'T!"

"Do you want Princess Peach?"

"YES!"

"Then you'll need the girl, correct?"

"YES!"

"Where is King Boo located?"

"LOOK FOR A STRANGE OLD MAN NAMED PROFESSOR ELVIN GADD. HE USED TO LIVE IN THE FOOTHILLS OF THE THWOMP VOLCANO BUT HAS SINCE MOVED TO BOO WOODS, WHERE HE STUDIES GHOSTS AND HAS ESTABLISHED GADD SCIENCE, INC."

"Thank you."

"YOU'RE WELCOME."

"You can find the girl in a broom closet on level six. We've taken the liberty of marking the door for you."

Slowly they fade away till only the Koopa King remains.

"Take care, Lord Bowser."

With the location of the girl now his, Bowser storms away. Burning through his pent-up rage as adrenaline while trampling his way through halls and upstairs. Minions scatter or are trampled, gold coins are left behind in his wake. When he reacts the sixth level of the castle, it isn't long before the closet in question is found. A very noticeable sign indeed Boos, they marked the door with a goofy face that's sticking its tongue out. Not in the mood for any more foolishness, he doesn't just open the door but rips the thing from its very hinges.

"You miserable twit! Do you have any idea...how...uh..."

All anger in him peters away at the sight that laid before him. He was expecting to see her cowering. He was expecting to see her in fear. What he didn't expect to see was her coiled in on herself on a makeshift bed. Her hands clutched her head, pain clearly readable on her pressed into a towel face, and these tiny whimpering sounds that didn't bother to stay quiet like she probably would want them to be if she were conscious.

"What the...?"

She winces, constricting her head further in her arms to block out any sound.

"Lynsie?"

"...hurts..."

Hurts? What hurts? Dang it girl, why are you so much trouble?

"Come here, pesky girl..."

Ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to punch her awake, Bowser did something more respectful. Scooping her from her little nest, which he found rather odd for a human to have made and had him thinking on if all humans did that or not, he held her in his arms like a child, to which she began to squirm.

"Like it or not, you're coming with me. So stop moving or I'm gonna drop you like a bad habit."

She groans but seems to comply. Settling down and hiding her face in his chest to keep what little light from her eyes, making him tense up as he reads this as something that he hopes it doesn't mean.

"Okay, don't get too comfortable now. I'm still big bad King Koopa, remember?"

"...sorry..."

He was cursing himself now. Why did he think this was cute? Was it the compliance? The weakly soft voice? The way she fit in his arms? Damn her for making him feel these weird things and double damn her for always putting him in these awkward moments!

"*grumble* You're lucky Jr. likes you."

With that, he took his leave with her, heading to of all places, his private bedchamber. He just couldn't trust her to not be out of his sight anymore, not with Peach's party a mere day away. Too much keeps happening around her. The plan is not to be foiled, not by anymore, not Mario, not green Mario, not Peach, and certainly not this goofball that his kids can't seem to get enough of. Minions that take note of the scene that passes them quickly make themselves scarce. Lord knows they don't want to end up as so many have for making comments about the King and his attention to the lowly girl that has taken up room in the grand castle.

Arriving at his room, Bowser makes swift work of making sure she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Cocooning her in a thick blanket to the point she couldn't move was a good start. Now, where was he going to put her?

*knock-knock-knock*

Oh, what now?!

Answering his door, he was surprised to see Morton there.

"Morton?"

"Dad...Morton needs to tell you something that Morton did."

"Does it affect me in any way?"

"Morton is unsure about that."

"Is this about Jr.?"

"No."

"Then speak."

Morton looks down at his feet and fiddles with his hands behind his back, earning him a funny look from his adoptive father.

"Morton did something bad to the Lynn lady..."

Something bad? Was this the reason she was in pain?

"What did you do, Morton?"

"Morton used magic on her."

"What kind?"

"...Paralysis."

"When did you do this?"

"...A few days ago."

"So why am I just hearing this now?"

"She said she wasn't mad at Morton. But she made Morton promise to tell you. She said if Morton didn't tell you, she'd not give Morton any more cuddles."

Did she blackmail him into doing the right thing by threatening to withhold affection? Wow...She really does parent his kids. Maybe that was worth some small reward later.

"Are you mad at Morton?"

"No, Morton, I'm not mad. In fact, I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

Bowser rubs Morton's head affectionately, making the boy laugh a little bit.

"Of course. It took guts to come here and tell me that."

"Thanks, dad. You're the best..."

Morton's words trailed off upon noticing the long tail of brown hair hanging off the end of his father's bed.

"Dad...Why is Lynn lady in your room?"

Great, he saw her. Time to dance around this so it doesn't look like what he could be thinking it looks like.

"She's sleeping."

"On your bed?"

"Where else would she sleep? The floor?"

"No! Not the floor."

"That's why she's on the bed. She fell asleep while helping me, so I'm letting her rest."

"Oh. That makes sense."

Yes! Way to go, Bowser. You're the master of being smooth.

"Can Morton sleep with her too?"

Or not.

"No!"

Too much! Recover! Recover now!

"I mean...She's really tired and asked me to make sure she isn't disturbed."

"But Morton can be quiet. Morton just wants to cuddle for a while."

"Sorry, but no can do."

"But Dad..."

"No buts! She's not leaving this room and that's final!"

Not allowing further debate to happen, Bowser shuts his chamber door.

"And you tell the others that too!"

To say Morton was confused would be an understatement. But what was he to do? Left with only the one option, he left the hall of his father's abode, now with more questions running through his head.

Bowser didn't like having to have done that, but what really was the other option? Each time she's around his kids, something happens. Heck, Morton just admitted to using paralysis magic on her. Why did he even do that? What was he going to do to her? For that matter, have any of the other kids done things like that with her? Roy really is taken with her, has he done things? Why didn't she tell him any of this? Did she not trust him? Was she worried about tattling on them? Was she afraid to talk about it with him? Why does this girl have to burden his mind like this with so many questions?!

"Why must you be such a thorn in my hide? Or is this just a thing all women do? Drive men crazy."

She didn't respond, merely rolled over a little.

"*sigh* Enjoy this while it lasts. You're never going to know my bed again after this."

Running a hand through his hair, the King of all Koopas walked over to his bedside and roughly plopped down. This day has been a taxing one. Maybe the human has the right idea and sleep would make way for a fresh start tomorrow.

"It's a good thing you're sleeping..."

He slips out of his shell.

"Though I kind of want you to see, only so that I can show off this perfect body."

He can't help but flex in a few poses, admiring his form. Though when the personal show is over, he reaches into his nightstand and grabs a large glass bottle.

"A little bubbly before bed won't hurt."

Taking a couple deep chugs, he looks over at the sleeping girl and smirks.

"This will be our little secret. So don't go telling the kids about papa's special drink."

He chuckles to himself while putting the bottle back then moving to be under the covers. Though before he could get comfortable, he had to move her, otherwise she'd be getting kicked in the face all night.

"Now be a good girl and stay put."

No way she was going anywhere. Now she laid all bundled amongst the pillows above his head. The only way she was getting out and into trouble would be by his hand or a fool that broke into his room.

"Sleep tight, Lynsie. You pain in my tail goofball."

With that, Bowser allows slumber to take hold of his slowly bubbled mind. The last thought he'll recall is hoping she doesn't snore. Though by morning's light, he'll be trying to recall much more than that.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	10. Prelude to wake perchance something more

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Dawn slowly stretches out over many lands of the world. One of these, in particular, the Koopa Kingdom, would hardly know of the sun's rise if it weren't for the blinding light on the horizon that made its agonizing crawl up into the heavens. The volcanos constant smoke seemed less thick than usual and the ash rained down softly like fresh snow.

The local wildlife begins to stir from the dreary night of rest. The resilient flora that dares to thrive in this tough land stretches out to gather what light it can to grow even more. The people that call this land home greet the day and get ready for the tasks of daily life. Workers at Castel Koopa wake particularly early in order to get thing ready. Meals must be precisely planned, the building cleaned to a spotless finish, and everything must be in its proper place.

The last to be roused by the coming of the day are the members of the royal family. Of course, the children wake before the adults, what with their young bodies able to make enough energy to envy a star. And at the very end of this long line of waking up is the King of all Koopas. Lord Bowser is a heavy sleeper, especially after having a nightcap. His dreams hold onto him for as long as they can, letting him enjoy that which he wishes for most in a world that has yet to give in to his will. Yet today is different. Something stirs his royal spiky abrasiveness from the dreams he loves so dearly. Something soft. Something sweet smelling. Something that...That was touching him back? What the heck?!

Opening his heavy-lidded eyes, Bowser comes blushing snout to nose with a certain pain in his shell human girl. She was still out like a broken light, he was super grateful for that, but how did she end up with him like this? The last thing he remembered was he had wrapped her up like a big burrito and laid her on the pillows above him. So how did she become unwrapped and laying next to him in a way too comfortably intimate way, all cuddly like? Their noses were touching, mouths almost close enough to share a kiss, arms draped over one another, and one of his legs cupping around her lower half that had drawn her body far too close to his own for his liking.

"*hushed* How much did I drink last night?"

Easing himself out of this cuddle was easier said than done. Removing his leg was simple. However, trying to slip his arms away only resulted in her trying to keep close to the warmth emanating from his body. This nearly caused a kiss to happen but was avoided by him looking up and her head now rested under his chin.

"*sigh* Figures...The one time I don't want a woman and I can't get her off me. Oh, irony, you cruel devil."

A bit more maneuvering here and there finally allows him freedom from her sleepy hold. Though once he was out of her embrace, part of him did miss the contact. It has been a long time since he was used to the feelings she kept bring back to him. Feelings he wanted to have brought back by Peach. But maybe he can look at it this way, she's helping to start the fire while allowing it to fully burn for his dear Peachy. Yeah, that makes sense. Just transfer all these feelings to Peach. Ah, sweet Peach.

"Note to self...No bubbly before bed when Peach is with me."

Getting out of bed, he grabs his shell and slips it on, only to laugh at himself when he finds it upside down.

"Heh...A metaphor for my life in a nutshell."

"Bowser..."

Her weak tired voice has him freeze. Maybe if he doesn't move or make a sound, she won't notice him and go back to sleep. With his awkwardly shelled back to her, all he hears is some shifting in the bed and a weary yawn that became a low drone that then went silent. Turning his head ever so slightly confirmed she had indeed nodded off again. He quietly fist pumped the air and mentally thanked the stars for that luck. Re-shelling himself properly this time, he thought of what his next move was going to be for the day.

"*hushed* Let's see...Peach's party is tomorrow. I got the gift ready. My suit is done. Her dress is done. Even got a peace offering bouquet on ice to stay fresh. What else is needed? Hmmm...Oh! The carriage. Got to see if that's ready. Can't show up in the Koopa Clown Car. While roomy, reliable, sturdy, lightweight, gets good mileage, can fly as well as being all-terrain and submersible, it is not the classiest thing to show up in. Heck, I think I've heard Roy call it 'chick repellant' once."

"*groan*"

Looking over at her, his next course of action became clear.

"You, little spitfire..."

Moving to his wall of intimidating weapons that he's used over the years, he grabs an old classic, the Koopa Scepter. This platinum magic wand is topped with a white opal-like jewel that is capable of all sorts of powerful magics, essentially like the seven wand the Koopalings possess but all in one and with more power as it was the one that made the seven.

"You'll be sleeping in today."

With a wave of his hand and pointing the magic at her, the wispy white energy consumes her.

"No ifs, ands, or buts...End of story."

Normally he didn't borrow ideas his children had, but Morton's use of a paralysis spell gave him the thought of a sleep spell. A spell that won't let her wake up without the reversing spell. No way she was getting into trouble now. Not unless she sleepwalks. Oh...Oh crap, what if she does sleepwalk? God, even when she's sleeping this girl is a pain.

"Great. I can't stay here all day with you. For crying out loud, I have a Kingdom to maintain. *sigh* Who can I trust to watch you and not mess with my stuff?"

*knock-knock-knock-knock*

Who needs him this early?

"*muffled* Dad? Are you up? Kamek is looking for you."

Iggy? Perfect!

Putting the scepter back on the wall, Bowser opens the door with a smile that unnerves Iggy somewhat.

"Iggy, my boy. I have a special task for you."

"Y-You do?"

"Yes. Please, come inside."

Excited, Iggy enters the room, only to then be confused seeing the slumbering girl in his father's bed.

"Uh...?"

"Iggy, I'm trusting you with watching her for the day."

"B-But...Why is she...?"

"Now, do you happen to hold any personal significance for her?"

"Um, well, not really, but..."

"Good. Then you'll do just fine."

"King Dad, I have so many questions..."

"I'll answer them later. Right now, I have to take care of things. All you have to do is not touch my things and make sure she doesn't leave or allow anyone else into this room till I come back. Do you understand?"

"I...I think so."

"I'm trusting you, Iggy. This may not seem like it, but this is a very important mission I'm giving you. If something happens to her, then my plan to get the Princess tomorrow fails. And if I can't get Peach, you know what I'll do, don't you? No one in this castle will be spared my wrath."

Iggy gulps loudly.

"Y-Yes, sir. I promise, she won't leave my sight."

"That's my boy. I knew I could count on you."

Bowser ruffles Iggy's hair playfully, earning an endearing giggle from the boy.

"Remember now, Iggy..."

Bowser heads out of the room.

"I'm counting on you."

Iggy stands up straight and salutes.

"I won't let you down."

With that Bowser shuts the door and it takes a moment or two for dear Iggy to realize he's been left alone in his father's room...with a human girl...Oh, the tempting possibilities! His inquisitive mind lit up like fireworks on Koopa Independents Day. Moving to the bed, his focus zoned in on her and not all the rarities belonging to his kingly parent. Many books he has read on humans and their anatomy, but all real scientist knows there is a big difference between reading about something and actually studying it.

"*giddy snickering* King Dad said not to let you leave the room. But he didn't say I couldn't have some fun while watching you."

He crept onto the bed, so many thoughts and experiments filling his head. It was giving him goosebumps.

"Don't worry Lynn...I just want to run a few tests. *snickers* Glad I won that straw game now."

Carefully, he studied her. Picking up her limbs and bending them to see just how far their limits were before he saw any discomfort come to her face. This study will go on for quite some time.

[Flashback: earlier that morning]

When the Koopalings had woken up this morning, the mood at their part of the castle was already seesawing and with some of them, it was already down. So when it came time for them to eat breakfast, the table was a bed for tension. And it didn't take much for the fires brewing to explode.

"Hey, Wendy..."

"Yes, Lemmy?"

"Can you pass the sugar?"

"Sure."

"Argh!"

Roy slams his fists right through the table, nearly flipping it if it weren't for Morton eating with his elbows on the table at the opposite side.

"No sugar! No one even mentions that word!"

"Geez Roy, calm down."

"Take a deep breath and count backward from ten."

His siblings do their best to try to settle him down.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Ludwig snidely remarks while sipping tea, a classic jerk move he's been known to pull to get under someone's skin.

"You! This has been your doin', hasn't it?!"

"I am unsure what you mean, brother."

"You know exactly what I mean, ya snooty hoity-toity snob! Don't think I don't notice when ya just so happen to be around my girl. Whisperin' in her ear like you're Romeo or somethin'!"

"Believe me, Roy, as much as I do enjoy you stepping up your insulting game, I'm afraid that this attack is most unwarranted."

"Like heck, it ain't! You've been puttin' the moves on her since day número uno."

"Hello pot, meet kettle."

"What?"

"By the way, I see myself more like the Phantom of the Opera than Romeo."

"I freakin' knew it!"

"Knew what? Aside from a few suspicions you seem to have, you have yet to provide any evidence that I am personally meddling in your amusing attempts to curry favor with that charming flower."

"There! Right there! You sayin' stuff like that and how ya act when with her is all the proof I need."

"And why do you think I would waste my time trying to sabotage you when I can just as easily sit back and watch you do it to yourself?"

"Because you're a dipwad that likes being a major pain in the shell."

"Regardless of what you or anyone else at this table might think, I do not enjoy the suffering of my kin. There is nothing that bothers me more than to see any of you hurt. I mean, honestly, if I did like watching you all fail, then why would I bother being interested in any other hobbies?"

"That's not funny!"

"I'm not trying to be funny. I'm merely stating a fact. I don't like it when you feel upset. I will admit to antagonizing you lot every so often, but I do so to push you. I know you can do better. So I will say or do things to stoke the proverbial fire in your hearts that makes you want to prove me wrong."

He sips some tea while for a moment, Roy feels respect for his older brother, but that doesn't last long.

"Yet I shall also admit to holding a torch for the fair maiden, and I will not bow out of this race for her heart so easily."

"That's it!"

Roy leaps out of his seat and tackles Ludwig to the ground where they begin to tussle.

"Will you two idiots stop this! *huffs* Boys are so dumb."

"I don't see what the big deal is?"

"Yeah. The lady Lynn is nice but not worth fighting over."

"I disagree. Lynn is highly intelligent and kind for a human. She's far better than the other human females we've met so far."

"Morton like Lynn lady. She gives good hugs. Maybe that's why King dad likes her too."

That cause a few bits of silverware to drop from their user's hands.

"What do you mean, he likes her?"

"Have you been listenin' to Jr.? That squirt don't know what he's talkin' about."

"For once, Roy is right."

"Yeah. ...Hey!"

"Our father is devout to Princess Peach and no one else. Granted they share a level of mutual respect that, dare I even say, borders on friendship, but nothing more. What would make you think he would harbor stronger feelings?"

"Because she was..."

"Excuse me..."

All eyes suddenly fall to Kamek who waltzes into their area unannounced.

"Have any of you seen Lord Bowser?"

"Why are you asking us?"

"Aren't you his keeper?"

Kamek groans and taps his fingers over his golden wand's red jewel.

"Then can one of you assist me in finding him? It would make things go so much faster."

"Why should we help you do your job?"

"What's in it for us?"

"A hearty thank you for doing something unselfishly for once?"

The seven of them shoot him a look.

"*sigh* I'll do one chore of the helper's choosing for a month. Happy?"

"Deal!"

Seemingly forgetting all the tension from earlier, they huddle like a team of Chargin' Chucks.

"Okay, how do we decide this?"

"We can wrestle for it!"

"Not happening."

"I could break a nail!"

"Not counting Wendy's excuse, only Morton and you are capable of great physical strength, Roy. Wrestling would be unfair to the rest of us, especially Lemmy."

"Then what do you suggest?"

"A fair game. One of trivia."

"No fair!"

"You and Iggy are the really smart ones, Ludwig."

"We can play rock, scissors, paper for it?"

"Nuh uh. You all gang up on me because I always pick rock."

"Pick somethin' else then."

"But rock is the best move!"

"Is it because it's like a ball?"

"...Maybe."

"Morton have an idea."

"Oh?"

"Morton think we should draw straws."

"That...That actually works."

"But we don't have straws."

"We can draw wands. We cover the tops and pick them at random. Whoever gets the chosen color wins."

"What color is the one we want?"

"Let's got with orange."

"Why orange?"

"Because no one likes it."

"Hey! I like orange."

"That's because it's your wand color, Larry."

"Alright."

"Are you kids done? I haven't got all day."

They grumble but continue with their plan. Covering the tops of their silver wands, the siblings shuffle the wands and then one by one take turns picking one. Once all wands have been chosen, they remove the coverings. Ludwig had red. Morton had black. Roy had purple. Wendy had blue. Lemmy had yellow. Larry had green. And Iggy had orange.

"Yes! You can take care of my chomp for the next month!"

"Someone has to. Might as well be me. Come along then, Iggy."

Iggy proudly collects his yellow wand and leaves with Kamek, allowing the others to take back their own.

"Lucky Iggy."

"I bet he cheated."

"The odds were one in seven, there were no means of cheating."

"Still sucks though."

"Yeah."

"Where do you think they'll find the old man at?"

"He could be in his spot in the garden."

"Or the study!"

"He's probably still sleeping. You know how he gets on weekends."

"Yeah, he sleeps in a lot. Kammy always nags us about it, but never him."

"He is King after all."

"Still not fair."

"Lucky King dad."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because she's sleeping in his bed with him."

"Who?"

"The Lynn lady."

"WHAT!?"

[Back to present time]

"Well, Lord Bowser...What do you think of the design?"

Asks a lone Hammer Bro. Hammer Bros are Koopas that stand upright and throw hammers at the enemies. They have bigger shells than normal Koopa Troopas and wear helmets that cover their blue spiky hair with yellow tips. Hammer Bros have several times been described as elite members of Bowser's Koopa Troop.

"I like it. Really classy and screams that it's a Koopa carriage."

The coach weighs four tons and is 30 feet (9.1 m) long and 16 feet (4.8 m) high. It is gilded in gold and rich carved portraits of Bowser's face, as well as sculptures including four cherub ParaKoopas on the corners of the roof with a large spiked shell, donned with a crown at the carriage's top. The body of the coach is slung by chain braces and decorated with spikes. The interior is lined with purple velvet and satin. The coach is made to be pulled by a team of eight Chain Chomps wearing a red metal harness. It shall be driven by a coachman, the eight Chain Chomps are to be positioned in two lines of fours.

"I'm pleased you like it, Sire. Though I must admit there will be an issue with it."

"What kind of issue?"

"Well, you see...The coach is so heavy it will have to be driven the long way to the Mushroom Kingdom. If we were to take the basic road, then the environmental hazards might trigger the Chomps and we wouldn't want there to be a wreck. So we'll have to take a couple side roads."

"*sigh* Fine. I guess that just means I'll be leaving ahead of schedule. Were you at least able to implement the comforts I requested?"

"Some, but not all. With weight being a factor, I tried to keep it as light as we could while doing as you wished. As the coach is suspended from braces, it lacks more modern comforts. It does not have the electric windows, mini-fridge, or heated seats. We were able to get the hydraulic stabilizers though."

"Really? So this won't be one of the most uncomfortable rides I'll ever have in my life?"

"Not at all. We even went with rubber all-terrain tires to absorb shock instead of stiff wagon wheels for extra comfort. And if you check the underside, we were able to make a support brace that cradles the undercarriage. This way it shall prevent the housing from shaking about all crazy or from bouncing madly."

"Great. So I'll be safe and cozy while cold and hungry. How could we not work those in?"

"It's a weight issue, Sire. Factoring in you and your two riders, plus the driver, the coach is already near its limits. Then we added body support and the hydraulic stabilizers. To run those other comforts we'd need electricity, which would require a generator or a series of batteries. All of which will compromise the structure and cause it to collapse on itself."

"*huff* Dang...I guess we can throw some quilts and a cooler in there. Or will that be too much for this thing to handle?"

"No, Sire. That's fine."

"Good..."

Bowser pulls out his phone and checks the time.

"Have it ready to go in an hour."

"Yes, Sire."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a party to get ready for."

And with that, the Koopa King makes his way to suit up before riding out. So far, this day is as smooth as a hot knife in butter.

"My Lord!"

Or Kamek could make him regret getting out of bed.

"My Lord! There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

"What is it Kamek? I have to get ready to leave."

"Sir, I need to go over the plans for the unification of the Kingdoms."

"Can it wait?"

"I'm afraid not. With the Mushroom Kingdom's ever altering topography, we need to manage the layout of the land so that dividing amongst the different factions of the Koopa Clan are even."

"Fine. Talk to me as I prepare."

"Yes, sir."

[Meanwhile: with Bowser Jr.]

"I don't know why I trusted Roy. That big bully lied to me. He's keeping Mama all to himself."

Storming out of his room, Jr. heads off with Magic Paintbrush in hand and bandana over his mouth.

"I'll show him I'm not one to be fibbed to."

The Magic Paintbrush is Jr.'s main weapon in most of his personal missions. Also named the Gaddbrush by its creator Professor E. Gadd, the strange old man in a white coat who gave it to Jr. years ago, the Magic Paintbrush can create perplexing endless Graffiti that has many functions, such as generating portals between locations or disguising the user's appearance and so much more. It was thought lost after the final battle at the top of Isle Delfino's Corona Mountain, but the Magic Paintbrush ended up on an island near Gelato Beach, where it was discovered by Il Piantissimo. It went up on display in Delfino's museum of island history where it stayed till the young Prince rightfully took it back. No one takes his things. Not even family.

"I'm coming for you, Mama."

His pace is slow and menacing at first, as to match the determined look on his face. Then it builds up speed. More and more. Till he's bounding through the halls and traversing walls like a reptilian ninja. Minions and staff look on in awe. Never knowing the true prowess of the what most would think is just the royal brat. Then he hears it...

"Open this damn door, Iggy!"

That's Roy's voice!

Roy himself is pounding on his father's chamber door like a madman. His siblings do their best to try to restrain him but their efforts do very little, even Morton and his strength do nothing against his slightly younger brother's angst. Even poor Iggy on the other side of the door, who has barricaded himself inside, is trembling at the force of each hit. Thank his lucky stars that, much like their own rooms, Bowser's bedroom door is made of metal.

"*muffled* I'm not opening the door! I promised dad!"

"Iggy...If ya don't open this door right now, I'm gonna knock it down!"

Roy rams the door,

"Roy, calm down."

"And once I'm in there, I'm gonna beat the ever-lovin' snot out of ya!"

He rams it again.

"Stop this foolishness at once, Roy."

"Then I'm gonna take back my..."

He aims to ram it once more but is kicked in the face by what seemed to have been Jr who came out of nowhere, leaving the others rather confused. Roy tumbles for a bit before skidding into a statue of the King.

"That's what you get, you big meanie!"

Roy shakes the rocks from his head and upon realizing what just happened, snarls at his attacker.

"Oh, you are so dead, squirt!"

Blinded by his rage, Roy spits balls of fire at Jr. while the others get out of the way. Jr. glares and slides towards the balls before twirling the brush, hitting them right back at Roy. This forces Roy to duck into his shell and spin rapidly to break the flames.

"I'm through messin' around!"

Roy pops out of his shell but now brandishing his huge Bullet Bill Blaster.

"You don't scare me, Roy."

"Big mistake, squirt."

Sensing the danger escalating and finding boys to be incredibly stupid, Wendy attempts to be the voice of reason before this gets too out of hand.

"Come on boys, this is just stupid. We're family. Even if we tick each other off, we don't attack one another. That's just dumb. Do what we all do...We tattle to dad till we get our way."

Ludwig slowly claps mockingly.

"Wonderful speech, sister dear."

"Oh, bite me. I don't see you doing anything to stop this."

"Roy!"

Jr. calls out his elder pseudo-sibling.

"Give me back my Mama!"

Roy growls and aims his blaster.

"She's mine!"

The blaster goes off three times, three Bullet Bills zoom toward Jr., having targeted him for damage. Jr. is shocked but ready to counter, he paints three giant Graffiti "X"s crisscrossing across the hall, one behind the other. When the Bullet Bills touch the "X"s, they explode, causing thick tar-like multicolored goop to splatter all over the place.

"Ya think a little paint is gonna make me run?"

"You should. One step in this stuff and you'll sink."

"Sink into what? The floor is solid stone. I ain't fallin' for this bluff."

Roy takes a step forward, but as soon as his foot touches the paint coated ground, he drops. Gravity pulls his body to follow his foot's lead and he makes a splash when he becomes completely submerged. There are a few bubbles. Then his trademark shades pop up. This causes concern for the others.

"You didn't hurt him, did you?"

"Are you sure he's okay?"

"He's fine. He just needs water to wash it off."

Suddenly, Roy's hand shoots out of the paint and holding up his black wand.

"What is he doing?"

"I...I don't know."

Purple flame-like magic flows over the wand and Roy's arm, whereupon touching the paint, begins evaporating it.

"Oh...poopy."

"My fellow Koopalings..."

"Yeah?"

"Might I suggest a tactical retreat before he resurfaces?"

"Morton is way ahead of you!"

They flee past Jr. fast enough to leave the boy spinning on his heels in dizziness. By the time Jr.'s senses return to him, he sees Roy emerging with the creepiest evil grin on his face. It is in this moment that Jr. realized something, for once in his life, he was afraid of someone that wasn't his Papa.

"Oh, Jr..."

Even his voice sent chills through the young Prince.

"Thanks for the paint. Bahaha! But don't worry. I ain't mad."

A ray of hope perhaps?

"Y-You...You're not?"

"No...Of course not. *roars* I'm furious!"

Jr. freaks out and stumbles back, falling on his little turtle tushy.

"I'll give ya this much...I wasn't expectin' you to fight as good as you were. I can respect that. Near the end, I was even considerin' callin' this water under the bridge."

"Y-You were?"

"But not anymore. No more Mr. Nice Roy! So buckle up, squirt! Here comes the pain train!"

"*gulp*"

Roy rushes Jr. with a full body tackle. Jr. shuts his eyes and braces for impact. But the hit never comes. When he opens his eyes, he sees Roy being held back with a hand to his face...Bowser's hand. Oh, crud.

"I am going to count to three. And when I'm done, I want to know why I'm about to spank the both of you till you can't sit down for a year! Ready? One. Two. Three."

"He started it!"

They both shouted and pointed at one another. This was going nowhere fast.

"Try again. And this time, give me details!"

"Sire, don't forget the time."

"I know!"

Bowser picks up the both of them by the rim of their shells and heads for his room.

"This is all your fault."

"My fault? You were going to beat me up."

"Because you started it! Ya came out of nowhere and kicked me in the face. My gorgeous mug that I use to smooch my, I repeat, MY girl!"

"She is MY Mama! My Mama belongs to ME and PAPA! Not you!"

"Will you two shut it!"

Bowser conks their heads together as Kamek tries to open the door but to no avail.

"My Lord, did you lock your door?"

"*sigh* Iggy, open the door."

Kamek is confused and the shuffling noises behind the door only add to it before it opens, allowing them all inside.

"Iggy...Why is my dresser now by the door?"

"Because I needed something heavier than me to hold back Roy from breaking in."

"Roy...Why were you trying to break into my room?"

"Because Morton told us Lynsie was sleepin' in your room and I wanted to find out if it was true."

"Papa...Did Mama and you...?"

"It's not like that! Nothing happened!"

Bowser was completely red-faced.

"My Lord?"

"I found her in a closet. So to make sure she didn't get in trouble, I let her stay the night. Then I had Iggy watch her while I was up. What's so weird about that?"

"Yeah, about that...Is something wrong with her? Because she isn't waking up."

"Yes, that fine. She's just..."

"MAMA! WAKE UP!"

Jr. screams and all of them have to cover their ears, including Bowser, who drops his kids to do so.

"Ow...See, King dad? She didn't even flinch."

It was true, even after that audible assault, the girl remained sleeping. Roy and Jr. immediately rushing the bed to check on her.

"It's fine. She's under a sleep spell."

"Oooh. That explains a lot. *mummers* No wonder nothing I did woke her."

"Why a sleep spell, my Lord?"

"She can't get in trouble if she doesn't go anywhere."

"Genius as always, my King."

"I know I am. Now, if you kids can get out, I have much to discuss with Kamek as I get dressed."

"I ain't leavin' her."

"Me either."

"I'm more curious about what might happen if I stay."

"*low annoyed grumble* Fine. Just face the wall and don't turn around."

"Relax, pops. No one here wants to see you unshelled."

The children look away but Bowser takes insult to this.

"You know what..."

Bowser grabs his scepter and blasts the girl, causing her let out a long-held yawn as she began to stir.

"I don't have time for any of this. Now make up for your petty childishness, and take her to be dressed. We leave in thirty minutes."

"Yes, sir!"

Roy, Jr., and Iggy grab hold of the very confused sleepyhead then take off with her.

"Wha...W-What's happening? Where am I? Where are we going?"

Within moments, the four are gone and Bowser sighs to himself.

"Sire...Did you really mean what you told the children? That you just let her sleep in your bed?"

"Kamek, are you calling me a liar?"

"N-No, my King. I'd never say that."

"Then don't question me or the things I say. I only want Princess Peach. Period."

"Then she will be Queen of the Koopa? You will still allow her power to rule equal to your own?"

"Of course not. What do you take me for, an idiot?"

This has Kamek completely surprised.

"R-Really?"

"Listen...If there's one thing I've learned in all my years as ruler, it's this. A powerful woman is one thing, but a powerful woman in power is dangerous. Once I make Peach mine, she will be Queen in title alone, a queen consort. She will share my social rank and status, but nothing else. She is not to have any of my political and military powers. And she is not going to inherit the throne upon my death and become queen regnant. The crown is to go to Jr., then Ludwig if Jr. is unable to rule. Barring Jr. is unable to sire a hire, Ludwig will take full rule upon Jr.'s end. This will continue as the line of secession, moving down the Koopalings by age and their children."

Kamek is speechless as Bowser removes his shell and begins the annoying task of suiting up.

"What? What's with that look?"

"It's nothing. I just...I wasn't expecting to hear that. You really thought this through."

"I'm not done. Kamek...You've been with me since I was diaper wearing brat. I know I haven't been the easiest to deal with, heh, I even remember I once trounced you for waking me up from nap time."

"Heheh...Yeah. You were a handful. But worth every moment to see you as you are today."

"You've been a father to me, Kamek. You know what to do and how things should be. I don't often show it, but I respect you. Which is why I want you to rule if something were to me and none of the children are of age."

Kamek's jaw drops.

"And if the kids are of age, I want you to advise them as you have me. I trust you to lead them down the Koopa path. You will...uh...Are you...Are you crying?"

"*sniffles* N-No. T-There's just s-something in my eyes."

Bowser just smiles as he dons his shell once more after dressing. His mind told him to make a comment about Kamek's heartfelt moment, but his heart kept his mouth shut so he wouldn't ruin this. Now fully dressed, the grand King of the Koopas, with his special gift for Peach in hand, made his way to the castle entry hall with Kamek in tow. No doubt his human buffer will meet him there as the carriage pulls up. This actually had him wondering, how was she going to look? He knew what the dress's design was and even picked the colors. But Wendy was going to "make her as fabulous as she is", so who knows how that will turn out.

[Meanwhile: with Lynsie]

"I don't know...Are you sure this looks okay, Wendy? I don't want to look like a dork."

"Trust me. You're going to knock them dead at that party."

"Thanks. I'm just so nervous about going out like this. I feel so weird."

"You're just getting used to being out of your comfort zone."

"Are you sure I can't wear my pants under this?"

"No. And be happy we found a decent pair of shorts."

"I am grateful. Even if I don't sound like it. By the way, big thanks for getting the guys out of the room for this."

"Of course. Us girls have to watch each other's backs. No way I was going to let them watch you dress."

I give her a kind smile and she pats my back.

"Come on...Let's show you off."

"I'm not a show pony."

"For this weekend, you are. Now stand up straight, arms at your side, and let your mind blank out so you don't get stressed. I recommend doing that last one now. You look like you're going to freak out."

"Sorry. Still nervous. I just need a minute."

"Can't wait, daddy needs you now."

That sounded so weird to me. It's enough of a distraction for Wendy to push me out of the dressing room and to where everyone seems to have been waiting for me. Great, more reasons to make me a nervous wreck. And the looks I'm getting are not helping!

"Everyone...Meet my greatest masterpiece!"

Wendy plays like a showman and can't help my sheepish habits. I avert my gaze to the floor, following the lines in the thick stone, and rubbing my arms to sooth away the uncertainty consuming my soul.

"Lynsie here is featured in this lovely imperial red and black vintage Victorian styled floor length ball gown. Featuring short sleeves, empire waistline, and square neckline, which we've chosen to accent with our traditional spike bands on her neck and wrists. The skirt is ruffled and this top tire is pinned with tiny skulls, very très chic. Topping it off, I thought to really show her off, I made her a Koopa shell. I based it on your shell, King daddy. You know, the one when you're Dry. The shell is a charcoal gray with dark red spike-rings and scarlet spaces between its plates. To further doll her up, I let her hair down and took her long bangs to make this looping braid-tail that is sporting this crimson bow with your emblem on it, King daddy. Other than that, I hid her dark eye circles, gave her a tiny bit of blush, and finished her off with light red lipstick."

Why do I get the feeling the next thing to come out of her mouth is going to be "can I get a starting bid of..."? I feel like a piece of meat being eyed by hungry wolves. I hate this part of being female.

"Wow, King daddy, you look so handsome!"

"Of course he is. He is the King after all."

I don't know if Wendy and Kamek are just being sweet to him, but it works in getting to my curiosity. My eyes creep up and when I see Bowser I end up blushing under the makeup. While not as spiffed up as I am, Bowser in a tuxedo is still a sight for the eyes. A rich black two-button styled suit with dark red trim on the jacket pockets and lapel. It also sports a solid matching black vest and dark red undershirt. All the buttons and even his cufflinks are made to be his personal emblem. The finisher on him is cute bow tie that replaces his normal spiked collar, though he's kept the ones on his arms. Honestly, the guy is stunning even if it is a bit odd to see him in pants and shoes...Holy crap, he's in shoes?!

"My King..."

My mind blanks right there so I curtsey to save face. Bowser too seems to be blanking out, so he puts his left arm behind him and while his right arm cradles his front, he bows like a gentleman.

"Lynsie."

I blush.

"Mama!"

"Sugar!"

Jr. and Roy come trampling in, ready to pounce on me. But Wendy, as she's told me before, has my back, and uses her rings to stop the boys in their tracks. I'm a little shocked that Iggy didn't follow with them, but seeing me be girly isn't really on his radar of interesting so I assume he went off to do something more fun than this.

"Oh, heck no. No way are you two mussing up my hard work."

Ow...Was I really such a train wreck before?

"Let me out of this thing!"

"Please Wendy. I just want a hug before they go."

Jr. knows how to play Wendy while Roy is too demanding to get himself out of moments like this.

"It's fine, Wendy. Release them."

Oh, hi brain, nice of you to come back.

"Are you sure?"

"Wendy, let them go. I want to give my boy a hug."

Seems like Bowser's fine too. Wonderful.

Wendy lets Jr. go, who happily runs up to his Papa before coming to me for some love. But Roy is still bound and not happy about it.

"Hey, what do I look like, chopped liver? Let me go already!"

"You didn't say please."

"Wendy!"

Bowser overrules her and she sighs in defeat while releasing Roy.

"About time..."

Roy steps over to me and I feel this weird energy from him. It's probably the guilt I feel for what happened last time I saw him. If he's going to yell or hit me back I'd understand, I deserve it. But then, why does he have such a mixed look on his face?

"Sug-...Lynsie...I...Man, this is harder than I thought."

He's stressing so hard about this that sweat is starting to form on his head and his fists are balled up. I know not what his intentions are or what he means to say, but whatever it is, I don't let him try to do so. I render him surprised when I put Jr. down to embrace the bad boy bully.

"I'm sorry. I was such a jerk. I didn't want to hurt you. Please...Forgive me. I was in so much pain..."

He returns the hold and nuzzles into my ear.

"Shhh...Sweetheart, it's okay. Don't work yourself up or your gonna end up all teary-eyed."

"You're not mad at me?"

"Mad? Nah. Confused is more like it. But we can talk later. Right now, just knowin' that you're okay...That's all that matters to me."

Damn it, don't cry. He told me not to. Body, for once listen to me and don't cry!

"Roy..."

*CLANK*

The heavy doors to the castle open. A Lakitu floats in after catching their breath, the door was a real workout for them. Lakitus are Koopas who employ clouds as vehicles. However, Lakitus have a rather different appearance than a normal Koopa Troopa; Lakitus have very different heads with much smaller, circular noses, all generic Lakitus wear thick goggles, and Lakitus have a ring pattern on their shells rather than the hexagon pattern featured on those of Koopa Troopas and Hammer Bros. Also, while most Koopas have no hair at all, Lakitus usually have about three small strands of hair or a small clump of black hair.

"Your Highness...*gasp* The carriage is ready...*coughs* Oh, I need to get in shape."

Bowser looks at me and I let Roy out of my arms.

"I have to go now."

"I know. But I'll be waitin' for ya, sugar."

I smile and give his nose a kiss before going over to Jr. then hugging him tightly.

"You'll be good while I'm gone, won't you sweetie?"

"I can't promise I will. But I'll try for you, Mama."

"I love you, Jr.."

"I love you, Mama."

I smooch Jr.'s cheek and let the giggling boy down.

"Come along, Lynsie."

"Yes, my King."

And so, we exit Castle Koopa to board without a doubt the most expensive looking carriage this world has ever seen. Seriously, this thing in the right light will blind you. That and the Chain Chomps will eat you, but you won't see it coming. And they're in the control of a single Chomp Bro. A Chomp Bro is a large, muscular version of a Hammer Bro and wields Chain Chomps as their weapon. Bowser sees the look on my face and smirks.

"If you think this is cool, you should my solid gold train."

"...You have a solid gold train?"

"Yep."

"Dude...How rich are you?!"

"Let's just say it's good to be the King."

He chuckles to himself as he gets in and I'm made speechless.

"Hurry up. I don't want to be late."

I shake my head clear and go inside. As soon as I close the door, the diver waits about five seconds before he snaps the reigns and parade of Chain Chomps take off. I take a seat across from Bowser, doing so gives us both some room to ourselves, and he takes this time to unwind. He opens a huge cooler that sits in the center of the area and wastes no time in popping open a can of Super Soda.

"Want one?"

"Maybe. What else is there?"

"Let's see...Super Soda, Courage Soda, Mixed Shake, Long-Last Shake, Special Shake, Shroom Shake, Super Shroom Shake, Ultra Shroom Shake, Power Punch, Able Juice, Banana Juice, Fresh Juice, Healthy Juice, Mango Juice, Stamina Juice, Herb Tea, Koopa Tea, Vibe Tea, Zess Tea, Mighty Tonic, Tasty Tonic, Warm Cocoa, and of course Bottled Water."

"Whoa. Pass me a Courage Soda. I feel like I need the boost."

"Nervous?"

He tosses the bottle at me and I twist it open.

"Yeah. *drink* I'm hoping this will drown the butterflies in my stomach."

"When did you eat butterflies?"

"*snicker* It's a figure of speech."

"Oh. Well, you don't have to be nervous."

"No?"

"They're people like everyone else. Some have a fancy title, but they're still people. Just relax and be yourself."

"Thanks."

He holds up his can.

"May fortune smile down on us."

I do the same.

"And may the stars grant us success."

We chug our drinks and hope these wishes come true.

"Oh! By the way, my King...You look good."

I can't say that without blushing and noticing this makes him smirk.

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well...If I had to put it in words, I'd say you look the perfect balance of danger and charm. Both fascinating and inaccessible, possessing such strength of character that it's dismaying yet at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing but forbidden way. In short, you're handsome as heck."

I was hoping to sway him gently with my words. What I end up doing is dropping his jaw and having him look away moments later with a deep blush while tapping the soda can's lid. This Courage Soda works better than I thought.

"T-Thanks. You aren't half bad looking yourself."

I understand. I said too much and made things awkward. Best fix the mood.

"Peach will adore you as well."

"Yeah. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees me."

With that, we continue to drink and enjoy the ride from the Koopa Kingdom all the way over to the Mushroom Kingdom. He really is a good man, King Bowser Koopa. As much as I know Peach will reject this and anything he does, I do wish this plan to go well. If only to keep him happy and see him smile.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	11. Kindling the embers of the growing flame

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The road to the Koopa Kingdom to the Mushroom Kingdom is a winding zany ride if one were to look at it on a map. From Dark Land, we make our way through the land's haunted forest to reach the Rock Zone, a land that features many tall mountains, high cliffs and deep caves that protects the borders of the Koopa Kingdom. Passing this, there is Jungle Zone, a tropical rainforest with poisonous water, and Bramble vines that block some of the paths. This is where we must take the first back road to avoid hazardous things and the next zone. The Water Zone is made up of several tropical islands, therefore, most of it makes rather good use of the swimming power-ups. Now while there are bridges that we can cross, Porcupuffers have made homes living under them and they have a tendency to jump up and attack those that dare cross above them.

Now Porcupuffers are a species of large, garishly-colored Cheep Cheeps, they resemble gigantic indigo Cheep Cheeps with red lips and blue, cyan, and yellow spikes all over their back. Their faces are nearly identical to those of Boss Bass, Big Berthas, and Cheep Chomps.

Cheep Cheeps are a common fish around the world. They are found mostly in the water but they can jump out of the water as well. There are many different species of Cheep Cheeps, and they come in different colors, including yellow and green. The most common ones, however, are red with a white patch on their stomach, a yellow or white tail fin, a Mohawk-like dorsal fin and wing-like fins. They also have blue eyes and pink lips. Cheep Cheeps have fins shaped like wings and may attack above the surface of the water by jumping out in an arc. Given this, Cheep Cheeps seem to be inspired by flying fish, which behave similarly. When in water, they are extremely passive, simply swimming forward or in an arc.

A Boss Bass is a huge Cheep Cheep that eats seafarers. A mainly male line, they have a mouth-brooding counterpart called Big Bertha. Boss Bass apparently eat Cheep Cheeps, despite being a relative of theirs. They also have trouble distinguishing them from something else like friendly swimmers. Unfortunately, a Boss Bass will think that since it swims like a Cheep Cheep, it is a Cheep Cheep, so the huge fish will try to eat you.

Big Berthas are huge mouth-brooding female Cheep Cheep that lives deep in the sea. She has a man-eating counterpart of a Boss Bass. Big Berthas always carry Baby Cheeps in their mouth, occasionally letting them out. After a few seconds, the babies will return to its parent's mouth for safety till they are too big to fit.

Cheep Chomps are Cheep Cheeps that are bigger than usual and closely resemble a Boss Bass. These Cheep Cheeps are purple with a green back-fin and have enormous mouths and strange goat-like eyes. They are as much of a threat as their relatives and will try to devour swimmers.

The next zone is the Frozen Zone, a land of ice and snow. Here a pit stop is made so that thermal chains are placed on the Chain Chomps so they can traverse the cold much easier. Poor thing has me feeling bad that we ride inside the carriage. The next zone is Desert Zone, a harsh sun beat sand pit that requires another stop to take the thermal chains off before we can continue down the second back road. Aside from shifting sands giving us little to no traction, there in the far area are sinkholes and the top desert predator the Sandmaargh that can easily drag us into a sandy tomb.

Sandmaarghs are a variant of Magmaarghs that are made of sand instead of lava. They will follow their prey while hiding under the sand, waiting for the heat and exhaustion to slow the prey down, then when they get close enough, they pop out and attempt to bite down on them or swallow them whole. While underground, their shadows can be seen above ground, thus allowing smart enough travelers to see where they are hidden and watch their movements.

Magmaarghs are themselves a variant of Blarggs. They appear as large molten lava creatures with a huge mouth that attack by rising up from lava pools and biting down at anything in front of them. Like their relative the Magmaw, they seem to be mostly liquid, as they can pass through solid objects. Magmaarghs do not move very much, mostly staying under lava, arising to chomp down on anything in front of them.

Charvaarghs are a type of Magmaargh that attacks by jumping out of lava. This variant is most likely a sub-crossbreed of a -main parent Magmaargh and sub-parent Blargg. They resemble and act much like Magmaargh but have characteristics of the more saurian Blargg.

Magmaws are just a smaller kind of Magmaarghs and Blarggs are large dinosaurs commonly found inhabiting pools of lava in underground caverns. Magmaws live in lava and attack by opening their mouths and passing through areas. They seem to be mostly liquid because small objects can pass through their body. Much like their larger counterparts, Magmaarghs, they cannot be killed.

Blarggs resemble lazy-eyed lava dinosaurs, but some of them are blob-like beings with large mouths, small arms, and beady eyes. When approaching a Blargg on a Lava Lift, the eyes of the Blargg will be visible before they dip back into the lava, moments before lunging. Yoshies are capable of jumping on them and, with some difficulty, eating them, which is also the only way they can be defeated. In short...Evolution's weird in this world of ours.

Lastly, there's the Grassland Zone, the finale path entering Peach's main Kingdom. Various Mushroom Houses are also found around here, a cannon, and grassy plains with many colorful mushroom hills. It is a place where many live, such as Toads, Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Cheep Cheeps, and even me up till this point. That's so weird to think of. One moment, I'm going about my normal mundane life getting groceries and the next, I'm caretaker to a Prince then helping a King go to a Princess's birthday party before kidnapping her. Life is just as weird as how things end up evolving.

"You okay?"

I'm broken out of my thoughts by Bowser.

"Huh? Oh...Yeah. Just lost in thought is all. Sorry."

"You were making a weird face. Must have been something pretty big to make your gears crank like that."

"Not really. Just random things."

"*snort* Silly girl."

"How far are we now?"

"We should be coming up on the Frozen Zone. We've haven't moved for some time now."

"Is the carriage well insulated?"

"It should be. But just in case..."

He gets up and moves over to the seat along the wall opposite of the door, flipping it open to pull out quilts.

"We do have these. I wanted heated seats, but the guy told me it would be too much for it to handle. *pfft* I just think he was lazy."

He hands me one and I am quick to wrap up. I can't handle the cold well. I don't know why, but I just can't. He manages to cover himself just as the carriage begins moving again and no more than ten minutes later the temperature takes a noticeable dip. Thank god the quilt is thick or my teeth would be chattering as loud as a thunderstorm, though I can't stop the shivers that have me trembling underneath.

"Man...Remind me to kick the butt of the person who said no to the heated seats."

That gets a chuckle out of him.

"You cold?"

"*shiver* I could be warmer, yes. If only Wendy would've just let me wear pants."

"Now that's funny."

I give him a look.

"You got all that attitude, a real spitfire. Such heat in your soul and yet there you are...Shaking like the last leaf about to fall off the tree."

"I don't like the cold, okay. Sue me for being easily freezable."

I dig into the cooler for a thermos of Warm Cocoa and hold it to me for a bit before taking sips. Bowser just watches me. I know I look stupid, but what other choice do I have? The quilt is helping and so is the cocoa, yes. But once my core temperature drops, even a little bit, it takes what feels like forever to bring it back up again. In mid drink, I hear him sigh and when I look over, he's patting the seat beside him. I give him a look and he huffs.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm offering you a chance to be warmer. I'm not always going to show you this kind of treatment, so take it or sit there and freeze. It's up to you."

I want to accept his offer and yet at the same time, I feel like he's pitying me. I don't take pity. It insults me. But is this really something I have to fight? He's making a real offer and not sounding like a jerk about it. I suppose I can put my pride away for this. After a bit of silence, I get up and take my seat beside him. What I expect is to just sit here and bask in his radiating warmth, what I didn't think he would do is pull me to be under his arm so that I'm pressed up against his side. His really, really warm side.

"Whoa..."

"You should have no problem keeping warm now."

"So toasty..."

I rub his side a little to find the most heat and he squirms a little, either this feels weird or he's ticklish.

"Thank you."

I give him a nuzzle of appreciation before returning to my cocoa. All the while the big bad boss beside me is blushing bashfully which boosts his boiler like heat. He draws back the curtain of the window closest to him, distracting himself with the scenery outside, though the arm around my shoulders tends to fidget from time to time. This actually feels nice. Very cozy and comfortable. I am contented.

"My King..."

He doesn't look at me but does make a sound of acknowledgment.

"I don't know if I've said this before, but...Thank you."

"Hmmm?"

"I know you didn't have to make me Jr.'s caretaker..."

"I kind of did at the moment."

"And you didn't have to treat me as kind as you have..."

"You're good practice for when I have Peach."

"Can I finish without you making me regret this?"

He motions zipping his maw.

"*sigh* In short...You didn't have to do any of the things you have for me. Whatever motives you had for doing them, you need not tell me, it's none of my business of why you do things. But for whatever the reason, I want you to know that I'm grateful to you for doing so."

Now he looks at me as I cast my eyes into the dark thermos of nearly gone warm chocolate.

"I have lived a mundane life. Nothing exciting or super about it. But then by random chance, I end up at your home and just like that, everything is different. I was given responsibility. I was given choice in whether or not to enjoy this new misadventure. And from my choice to embrace this new part of my life, I have found friendship in Jr. and the Koopalings. I see Kammy and Kamek as these wise parent figures that can be looked up to. And you yourself, my King..."

I glance up at him and smile.

"I look at you, not as the one I work for, not as the one that I do things for out of debt, or as one I am held captive by. I see you as a brilliant King, a wonderful father, and a great man to whom I am lucky to share life with."

I look ahead of me and close my eyes.

"I know not what is to come after this party's end. But I want you to know something...Regardless of the events to come..."

I open my eyes once more.

"I swear my loyalty to you and you alone. You truly are MY King."

I drink what remains of my cocoa as he is left in complete shock. That blindsided him. No one would expect that. I just denounced my home Kingdom for loyalty to its enemy. I have effectively become a willing traitor to the Mushroom crown in favor of that of the Koopa King. Sure, this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened, such as with the Goombas, and I have made my favor for him well known. But this...This is an open confirmed declaration. Confirming that which was long believed.

"You...You're serious?"

"I am."

"You'd denounce your Kingdom and loyalty to the Toadstool crown?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"My King...What makes a Kingdom? What sets it apart from any normal person that owns some land and calls themselves a lord? A Kingdom is a land that is allowed rule by a person or persons that the people see fit to govern them. Strong individuals that can do what is best not just for themselves, but for the good of all that look up to them. A person of royalty is one who is supposed to see the Kingdom's well being. You are a true King and it is plain to see it. Princess Peach does not do this. She has done nothing to benefit the Kingdom. She uses resources to benefit herself alone. The King is gone, no one knows what happened to him besides her. Maybe Toadsworth knows, but if he does, he's keeping silent. She does not ensure the safety of her people, that is abundantly clear based on how often attacks happen with no defensive strategies in place. She is a royal with no control, no help, no clue how to rule, and no knights to protect the land or it's people. At the rate this goes, she will lose everything. Her only fallback plan is to have the Mario Brothers help, but that's only two ordinary men and she calls for them when things are at their worst when the trouble could've been prevented easily. I will not follow a blind leader that is doomed to have us go off a cliff to our death. She has not earned the right to rule nor has she earned my loyalty. You, my King, have done so. As such, I pledge myself to you and the children."

He looks at me with reverence.

"You've been thinking about this for a long time. Haven't you?"

"I have. I have been thinking of moving out of the Mushroom Kingdom for quite some time. But I would always talk myself out of doing so for one reason or another. But now...Now it feels right."

I put the thermos back in the cool and he pats my head before gently stroking my hair.

"You're a sweet girl, you know that?"

"I try."

"You don't have to move."

"No?"

"When I marry Peach, her Kingdom will be mine."

"Oh."

"As a reward for your service, I will grant you a title and a castle to match it."

"No thank you."

"No?"

He is confused and frankly, so would a normal person when told this story.

"I do not want a title or a castle. I am fine with my little house and serving you as I am."

It takes a moment before he chuckles.

"You really aren't like other girls."

"I take that as a compliment."

"I always thought women liked the finer things. Like money, gold, and bejeweled rings."

"Sorry, but... _ _I don't believe in frettin' and grievin'; why mess around with strife? I never was cut out to step and strut out. Give me the simple life...__ "

He snaps his fingers and I continue.

" _ _Some find it pleasant dining on pheasant. Those things roll off my knife; just serve me tomatoes, and mashed potatoes; give me the simple life. A cottage small is all I'm after, not one that's spacious and wide. A house that rings with joy and laughter and the ones you love inside. Some like the high road, I like the low road, free from the care and strife. Sounds corny and seedy, but yes, indeedy; give me the simple life.__ "

He laughs.

"Did you just make that up?"

"Nah. It's an old song I'd hear on the radio when I would live with my grandparents."

"Oh. ...Are they still..."

"No. They have long since departed."

"My apologies."

"It's alright."

An awkward vibe spread inside the carriage. Suddenly, the carriage stops it's drive once more. Looking out the window, we no longer see the pale white of ice and snow, but the sun baked yellowy orange of the desert.

"Seems we're almost there."

"We're making good time too."

"Would it be okay if I rest my eyes for a spell? Heat makes me weary."

"You too? Yeah, you can nap. Might take one myself."

While Bowser removes his quilt to use it as a pillow, I keep mine wrapped around my body. My body still in need of warmth even while the temperature begins to climb. I wait for Bowser to make himself comfortable before I do the same at his side, though doing this seems okay with him, as he doesn't speak up about it, I probably should've asked before doing so. It takes some time before the temperature reaches that point where it makes me sleep, but eventually, I nod off and Bowser does so shortly after. The ride is a pleasant one. It makes the dreams all the more enjoyable. Though it isn't long before the large hand of my King starts to rouse me from these dreams and I try not to be cranky about it.

"*groan* What's going on?"

"We're close."

I rub my eyes and straighten up.

"How can you tell?"

"See for yourself."

I look out his exposed window and indeed he's right, we're in the Mushroom territory. The land is green and prosperous. The colorful hills seem to smile in the bright sunlight and the obliviously happy-go-lucky Toads go about their merry way.

"It's sickening sweet just how happy and innocent they are. Like this is some sort of paradise where nothing can go wrong. How delusional."

"Are you ready to aid me in shattering that delusion of theirs?"

I give pause for a moment...Then smile.

"I serve you without question, my King."

He grins as we return to our seats. It won't be long now till we arrive. The grand castle is within sight.

The castle is of grayish white marble, the highest tower emerging from a wider circular tower underneath in the center of the castle. The main shape of the castle is a rectangular, with nearly four towers supporting this part. The roof is a shade of red, a balcony is in front of a window is at the front of the palace, an image of Princess Peach shown in the stained-glass of the window. The castle is a huge palace with many rooms and secrets. There is a living room, a conference room, a library, a bedroom, many storage rooms, and the lobby is connected to the ballroom. The castle also has a basement, the floor of which is oddly coated with water. The castle grounds are also quite spacious, including a courtyard located behind the castle. There are plenty of trees that can be climbed up, and the land itself is quite large. A body of water surrounds the castle, which eventually leads into a small pond. Several vases full of flowers on the grounds surrounding the castle and a simple fountain finish it.

[Outside Princess Peach's Castle]

Two guardsmen Toads take a break to play a round of cards. Toads are fairly short humanoids with human skin tones. Possessing the appearance of young human children, Toads are among the smaller races of Mushroom Kingdom. They have dark, beady eyes while they also possess stubby feet and typically possess almost no visible legs. Their most recognizable trait is their large mushroom caps and small bodies. It is never clarified if the mushroom is a cap or part of their physiology as occasionally Toads have pulled it over their face like a hat. Typically, Toads either have white caps with red, blue, green, yellow or purple spots. However, some Toads have caps of inverse colors such as red, blue or pink caps with white spots or light brown caps with dark brown spots. Although the Toad species resemble humanoid fungi, they may or may not actually be mushrooms. This is just one of the great mysteries of the universe.

Toads generally wear simplistic clothing in the case of males wearing vests that typically reflect off the color of the spots on their mushroom caps. Some female Toads are shown to also sport vests; however, they also wear long dresses. Toads also sport pants of a white color that resemble the base of a mushroom or toadstool stalk. Most Toads also sport common brown colored footwear. Dryites prove that some Toads possess different wardrobes based on the area they're from. These Toads wore tagelmusts and desert clothing while also possessing tanned skin.

While one can assume gender roles on Toads base on their appearance, but in fact, they are really a species that is actually genderless and merely take on gendered characteristics. Many typical "male" Toads don't appear to have hair. However, many "female" Toads appear to grow hair under their caps as do some male Toads. Male Toads are shown to have grown facial hair. All Toads generally have no noses or ears.

Toad guards serve as the protectors of the Mushroom Kingdom and Princess Peach. They typically wield spears and shields, their uniforms are a classic mantle. These shields have Peach's symbol, her crown, emblazoned on the front. Like normal Toad citizens, Toad guards are not particularly brave, often asking for help to complete dangerous missions instead of doing so themselves. For example, when Bowser launched an attack on Peach's Castle, the Toad guards request Mario to protect the Princess, although that is the Toads' official duty as royal guards, one of Peach's bodyguards even hid behind Peach when Bowser was in front of her balcony.

With these two, however, their main job this day is to escort guests of their Princess inside to enjoy the festivities. All notified guests have already shown up, so this easy task of watching the front door was the perfect time to slack off. That is of course, till they heard barking. Returning to their posts, the ground begins to shake slightly. The thundering trample of Chain Chomps starts to slow down once they get on the castle grounds.

The beasts come to a stop at the behest of their master atop a mighty magnificent carriage that pulls up at the castle steps and the two guardsmen are confused. All the guests have already shown up and are inside, even if they did have to double check that Wario was invited because he lacked an invitation it was deemed okay by Peach since he came as Waluigi's plus one. So who could this be? Surely there are no revealing clues to the passenger's identity on any part of this decked out ride. The large door opens. And much to their surprise...A well-dressed woman in a Koopa shell emerges.

"Halt!"

"Who are you?"

I step down and mentally rip my ears off at how screeching their voices are. I know some Toads have a rather deep voice that sounds much like a young adolescent. But most Toads, like these two, have very high pitched and almost child-like voice. It's like that of a small hyper child, often screaming in a high voice or cheering loudly in their normal speech.

"I am here for the party."

They shoot me looks.

"State your name."

"All guests have arrived. Who are you to barge in?"

"Me? I'm no one special. I'm just my King's consort."

Now they are really confused and I'm shocked that even came out of my mouth. A consort is usually the companion or the spouse of a reigning monarch. Sure, in my case I'm the companion but still, others might think its the other thing. Bad Lynsie, bad girl.

"Your King?"

"Consort?"

See? Look what you did now. Now they think you're involved way more than what you really are.

"Please. Allow me to introduce my King. The one, the only, the epic...King Koopa!"

I hold out my hand into the carriage and Bowser's large claw takes it as he exits the stage.

"Bow before Bowser, or feel my wrath!"

The Toads scramble, running around like fools before crashing into each other and shaking while pointing their spears at us.

"Y-Y-You don't s-s-scare us."

"G-G-Get out of here. Y-Y-You big meanie."

Bowser merely chuckles.

"Put your toothpicks away, I'm not attacking...for once."

"Y-Y-You're not?"

Bowser produces the stolen invitation from his lapel pocket and hands it over to the guards.

"I believe this is the part where you two shrimps take us inside."

They huddle nearby.

"Should we let them in?"

"I don't know. It is Bowser after all."

"But this is a real invitation from the Princess. She told us to let in all that had her letters."

"Yeah, but Bowser wasn't on the guest list."

"We can hear you!"

They flinch and look back at us. Bowser is impatiently tapping his foot and I now hold Peach's gift box that I retrieved from inside the carriage.

"Are we going in or do I have to roast some mushrooms?"

They panic.

"No no! No need to do that!"

"Come! Right this way!"

"*huff* About darn time."

Bowser nudges me and puts his arm out, making me blush a little at the implication.

"Make it look good, Lynsie."

I nod and loop an arm around his.

"I shall not disappoint."

The Toads open the doors and head inside with us following behind. We tread what feels like endless halls, making me miss roaming through Castle Koopa, but in time we do make it to another set of doors with a huge star emblazoned on it. They open doors and there are some party sounds that abruptly stop upon the two of us being spotted. Inside is Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Lady Rosalina, Pauline, Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi. All of them seem to be wearing their normal clothing, apart from the guys who are just sporting black bow ties so that they count as formal.

"*whispers* Um...I think we overdressed, my King."

"*whispers* Call me by name or this will look really weird."

"*whispers* I believe that moment has passed already."

"*whispers* Smart-aleck."

"Guards...Why is Bowser here?"

The Toads proceed to approach their Princess and explaining the situation. All the while we get so many weird looks. I especially feel most uncomfortable with how Waluigi and Wario are looking at me. But this is what part of my mission is, to get guy attention, no matter how weird it feels. But looking around, it's interesting to see the real faces of those I've only known about from books I've read.

Mario, the hero that goes on adventures to save Princess Peach from Bowser and older fraternal twin brother of Luigi. Mario is a stocky young man I believe to be twenty-five in age yet the mustache makes him look older. Mario wears a trademark red cap with his red "M" insignia, has brown hair, blackish dark-brown mustache, blue eyes, and is the shortest person here that isn't a Toad with him being 5'1'' tall. He has a long-sleeved red shirt which is tucked under a pair of white gloves and has a noticeable collar at the neck. Layered over the shirt is a pair of blue overalls with yellow buttons. On his feet is a pair of light brown work shoes. Mario's dungarees are more like denim and have additional back pockets.

Luigi, Mario's younger, taller fraternal twin brother who is often stuck in his brother's shadow. Compared to Mario, Luigi is slimmer and taller being 5'9'' despite them being the same age. His face is noticeably thinner, his eyes are slightly more bluish, and his hair is the same style as Mario's, but more of an auburn or dark maroon. Luigi's mustache is dark brown, sometimes black, and smooth, unlike Mario's ragged mustache. Luigi also wears clothes similar to Mario, but his shirt and cap are green instead of red. Layered over the shirt is blue overalls, which are a darker blue than Mario's. He also has brown work shoes, again darker than Mario's, with tan bottoms that reach above his ankles. The Luigi Cap is similar to the Mario Cap, being green instead of red and having an "L" replace Mario's signature "M". Mario and Luigi's color preferences are reflected throughout the land in the form of various enemies, such as Koopa Troopas and Cheep-Cheeps, who also come in red and green varieties. These foes even reflect the brothers' personalities, with red ones being more aggressive and green ones acting cautiously. Some people even theorize that it may be some sort of rule that younger brothers must wear green.

Princess Daisy is the princess of Sarasaland and is a tomboy with an affinity for flowers. At 5'11'' and twenty-five in age, Daisy has blue eyes, fair skin, and orange-tinted brown hair. She has round cheeks, a button nose, thin, nude-colored lips, and large round eyes with thick black lashes on the sides. Her hair is long with a flipped style and parted bangs. She has an average weight and height, being shorter than Peach but taller than Luigi. Daisy is represented by the colors yellow, orange, and green. Daisy wears a yellow, floor-length gown with white and orange accents. The details of the dress include puffed sleeves with white, petal-shaped openings, a white, petal-shaped collar, orange panniers at her waist, and orange frills at the opening of her dress. Her accessories include short, white gloves with petal-shaped openings, orange heels, a gold crown with red jewels on the sides, earrings, and a brooch; her jewelry is coordinated with green gems and white, petal-shaped rims.

Rosalina, while not a Princess, is a very powerful figure, as her duty is to watch over and protect the cosmos, while also serving as the adopted mother of the Lumas, and commanding the Comet Observatory. Rosalina is taller than most at 7'7'' with her height being due to the weightlessness of space, rivaling Waluigi's height, and bearing a resemblance to Princess Peach. Her age is unknown, but she has stated to have been in space for hundreds of years. However, Rosalina's skin is paler, her eyes are a lighter shade of blue with six eyelashes, and her hair is platinum blonde, a lighter blonde than Peach's, that also reaches to her waist. She wears purple nail polish and has a large bang which obscures her right eye. Rosalina wears a gown said to be a color that only exists when the sun peers out of the clouds. Her brooch and earrings are star-shaped, while her crown features star-shaped patterns engraved into it. Her brooch and crown are silver, as are her high heels, while her earrings are golden. Rosalina also wears a few jewels, including a gold jewel inside the brooch and crown jewels that are pink and turquoise. Her gown cuts off at the top of her chest, where a powder-blue flap loops around, and has long sleeves with wide openings at the bottom, which are topped with powder-blue frills. At the bottom is another power-blue frill that loops around until turning up to a point at the middle; under this a layer of a petticoat is visible.

Pauline, the mayor of New Donk City in the Metro Kingdom and Mario's first love interest...Awkward! Pauline has pale to dull blue eyes, long wavy burgundy-brown hair and pale skin. She has large slanted eyes with four long eyelashes at the top and three smaller lashes at the bottom, a total of seven, coupled with long defined arching eyebrows that thin out as they extend. Her nose is triangular in shape with an oval shaped face and pointed chin. She is wearing violet eye shadow, dark red lipstick, and nail polish. Pauline has a curvy hourglass figure, in comparison to other girls here. She is the second tallest woman here being I believe 6'10'', just being beaten in height by Rosalina and appears around my age. Pauline wears a fitted red halter neck dress with a bow knot connecting the straps behind her neck, and a low cut back. The dress finishes just above her ankles and loosens to flair out about a third of the way down her legs. Pauline's accessories include a gold bangle on her left arm and large gold bead and teardrop style earrings. She also wears black ankle strap high heel pumps.

Wario is an obese, muscular, hot-tempered, and greedy man, and Mario's yellow-and-purple clad arch-rival. According to the Wario World book I found, Wario weighs 308 pounds (140 kilograms), although he declares it's just his clothes. He has broad, muscular arms, a large belly, and his excess fat overlaps the openings of his overalls; it is known his arms and legs are pure muscle meaning the rest of his fat must be stored elsewhere that I rather not know. His skin has a fair complexion, his nose is pink, large, slightly pointed down, and he has large nostrils. Wario's mouth is square-shaped, as is his head, with blocky teeth and a fixed grin. He also has a round, thick, cleft chin. He has round black-eyes, shaped by his cheeks and arched brows. They are outlined with a light blue, baggy, ring similar to Waluigi's. He has very constricted pupils and his iris is a very dark shade. Wario is actually not as short as he appears. He appears much wider than others and he's noticeably taller than Mario at good 5'7'' tall even thoughthey're both the same age at twenty-five. In fact, Wario is about as tall as Luigi regardless of his stout appearance, but he is still shorter than others such as Peach and Waluigi. Wario has light brown hair, the same color as Waluigi's. His hairstyle is similar to that of Waluigi's, having small flips at the back, swooped up bangs, and styled sideburns. He also has a black, large, zigzag shaped mustache. Wario wears a plumber outfit similar to that of Mario, Luigi, and Waluigi. Unlike them, however, his outfit has some details not shared with his counterpart, Waluigi. He wears a yellow cap with a white streak on the rim, a yellow T-shirt and a purple overall with white buttons, and green pointed shoes. His cap has a blue "W" that exceeds the white spot space it is inside. He also wears white gloves with his blue "W" printed on it. Wario's primary color, yellow, is an opposite color of purple, Waluigi's primary color, on the RYB color model.

Waluigi is Luigi's very tall and skinny rival and Wario's partner. At a surprising 7'1'' tall and twenty-five in age, he appears around normal height due to his knees always being bent. Waluigi's outfit includes a purple undershirt under usually very dark indigo overalls which are occasionally pure black, orange shoes, and a purple cap that covers his short, brown hair. He has a large pink nose, a thin mustache which is straight horizontal and pointed up at the edge, and gray eyes, his eyes are surrounded by light blue rings. He also has long limbs and a skinny torso. The yellow symbol on his hat and gloves is a vertical mirror image of Luigi's "L" which forms a "Γ", just as Wario wears a "W" in contrast to Mario's "M". Just like his partner, Waluigi is the extreme form of his rival. While Luigi is tall and skinny, Waluigi is taller and skinnier, just as Wario is short and obese in contrast to Mario. According to the Wario's Warehouse site, Wario routinely puts Waluigi on a rack to make him even taller. Luigi´s facial elements are also exaggerated in Waluigi. Waluigi has a very sharp jaw and a pointy chin. Waluigi's sharp, handlebar mustache is an exaggeration of Luigi's soft and fluffy mustache. Waluigi's clothing also is similar how Mario and Luigi's color scheme is somewhat the same. Mario and Luigi have the similar colored pants, with their signature colors being opposites red and green. With Wario and Waluigi, the signature colors are still opposites yellow and purple, and their pants are not exactly matching, but they are a different shade most of the time like Mario and Luigi's, as Luigi's pants are just slightly darker.

And of course the birthday girl, Princess Peach Toadstool herself, ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach is a young, fair-skinned woman with an average almost hourglass figure, and a rosy complexion. At twenty-five in age, she is taller than most humans here standing at 6'1'', exceeded only by Rosalina, Pauline, and Waluigi. She has a soft, oval face with large blue eyes framed by six lashes, and thin dark blonde eyebrows. She has long, flowing golden-blonde hair with both V-shaped and fringed bangs, and a single two thin locks framing her face. Her overall physical appearance suggests that she is in her early 20's and is much younger than the brother, but seems to be a bit older than Princess Daisy. I don't know really. Peach wears a floor-length pink gown with puffy sleeves, a high collar, deep pink panniers at the waist and a ruffle of the same color at the hem. The dress has a sapphire brooch, set in gold on Peach's chest, and she wears round sapphire earrings. Her crown is golden with four jewels: two rubies and two sapphires. She wears white evening gloves beyond elbow-length, deep pink high heels, and a white petticoat under her gown.

After a bit of talk with the guardian Toads, she approaches us and I can't help the lump forming in my throat from building nervousness.

"Bowser...Where did you get this invitation?"

"In the mail. Where else?"

He says that without missing a beat. I'm impressed by his cool under pressure.

"Oh really? Then do explain why you had this when Wario didn't and he was supposed to get it?"

"Hey, don't get all huffy with me because some mailman can't do their job right. What matters is that I'm here now. So after coming all this way, getting all fancy, making your gift, and promising my fair companion a good time, are you really going to make us leave?"

A tap on my hand gives me a signal and instinct has me making a sad disappointed look to further our chances of remaining. Luckily, this tactic works. Her face going from judging suspicion to soft acceptance.

"Very well. But you have to promise not to cause any trouble. Understand?"

Bowser holds up his right hand and bows his head.

"I promise I am here purely to celebrate this glorious day all about you, Princess."

He's good. This guy is so good it's scary.

"Thank you. So...Who's your friend? She's pretty."

My bashfulness beats me, making me look away while blushing.

"This is Lynsie. She's my consort and caretaker to my children. Say hello to the Princess, Lynsie."

I can't bring myself to speak for fear of my words coming out stupidly, so I do my best curtsy and bow my head while offering the box.

"Oh. Thank you."

She takes the box and Bowser pats my head.

"Forgive her. She's just nervous about being here."

"Awww...Please. Feel free to mingle and enjoy the party."

Okay, this is going well and she seems fine. Maybe this will be easier than I thought. Maybe I can relax. Peach leaves to place the box amongst the other gifts and Bowser leaves me to sample from the buffet spread. Now on my own, my wallflower tendencies start kicking my butt and I feel like hiding in a corner.

"Um...Hello?"

Luigi makes an attempt at being nice, though his shyness is as obvious as my own. He keeps his head low and his arms are behind his back while his feet rub against each other.

"H-Hi. Heh...Sorry I'm a bit nervous. I'm not used to this whole party scene."

"It's-a okey dokey. I don't-a get to come to many parties either."

That makes me smile.

"I'm Lynsie."

"I'm-a Luigi. Nice to meet you."

"Say, uh, I know we just met and all. But if it's okay with you, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Um...I guess. Nothing too personal please."

"Of course. I respect others need for some things to remain unknown. *ahem* What I was going to ask is, are you and Princess Daisy a legitimate couple? It's been hinted at for some time and gossip started portraying her as your answer to Mario's Peach."

He blushes big time and fiddles with his fingers.

"It's-a bit complicated. You see...I really like Daisy. Like...A lot. Awwww, she makes my heart go badda-bing badda-bum badda-bing badda-boom badda-boom-boom-boom. *lip pop* But I think she just sees me as a friend."

"Really? But I thought she was the one to make those giant golden statues of the two of you holding hands and dancing together, along with the other statues of you two as babies swinging each other on the Daisy Circuit race track."

"She did. And some-a times she calls me sweetie. I like to think I might be brave enough to propose to her someday. Awwww, boy I have to give her a lot of spaghetti meatballs and garlic before I ask her to that. One day, I'm going to get the nerve up and I'm going to do it. Yeah. I gotta say, 'Uh, hey Daisy, uhhhh, uhhhh, uhhhh, hah, oh, uhhhh, uhhh,' and she's gonna say, 'Are you trying to ask me if I marry you?' and I say, 'Oh, uhhhh yeah, I uh, woow, oh I uh, yeaaah.' And she's gonna go, 'Okey dokey'. At least I hope so. That would be nice, huh? But as of right now...I think she just wants to help me. You know? Build up my confidence. I've been Mario's sidekick for so long...I know a lot of people feel bad for me. N-Not that helping Mario is a bad thing. I love spending time with my bro. But I can never seem to come out from his shadow."

"Not true. You've saved him more times than he's saved you. You're faster than Mario, can jump higher than him, you can handle electricity, you're really agile, and you can summon the Negative Zone. Dude, you are so much cooler than Mario, I don't know why you can't see it. If anyone can be better than Mario, it's you. All you have to do is believe in yourself. Because if you think you can't do something, you won't actually be able to do it if you try. Think happy thoughts."

I take one of his trembling hands and poke the palm, making a little green ember sprout.

"See what I and others see. You are the hero in green. Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and safety. Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human eye; it can improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. Sometimes green denotes lack of experience; for example, a 'greenhorn' is a novice. In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope. But your green, that is the traditional color of peace. Fire itself is a power of nature. Fire represents our passions, compulsion, zeal, creativity, and motivation. Fire has great power for forging will and determination. It is our inner light as well as a living symbol of the Divine fire that burns in every soul. It is a source of energy that requires careful moderation and control or you WILL get burned. Fire consumes but not without giving back warmth and light. It shines without remorse, sparking the darkness. So don't let the negative thoughts dim your fire, dear Luigi. Use it as fuel and allow your fire to burn as bright as you truly are."

My words stir within him, the little ember begins growing. From a tiny spark till it's a lovely ball of flame. And in its glow he smiles before closing his hands around it over his heart, smothering it out.

"Thank you."

I smile and give him a thumbs up.

"Anytime my new friend."

His eyes shine with hope.

"Friend? You mean...You'd really be my fr-waugh!"

Luigi is pushed aside by Waluigi.

"Wah, heh, heh, heh! My name is Waluigi."

"Nice to meet you too, mister tall, dark, and clearly needy for attention"

He just laughs.

"If I didn't know any better, I think you're sweet talking me."

Oh my god, I'm talking with the human equivalent of Roy.

"Why, my less than a good man, I do believe you're only hearing what you want to hear."

"Or maybe I can hear what you're really saying. Girls like to be all secretive and mysterious. Eh heh heh! Nobody pulls the wool over Waluigi's eyes. Waluigi knows everything. Waluigi already knows your little secret as well"

I look at him funny.

"What secret?"

"I'll tell you. But not here. I know of a secret room here. I'll tell you there."

"*snort* Sir, I think you're trying to lure me away with you."

"Maybe I am~."

Yep...I'm getting so many Roy vibes off Waluigi it's almost scary.

"It's a nice day for adventure. How about you and me go off on an adventure, hm?"

"I don't think Bowser would like this."

"That funny walking guy? He doesn't have to know. So what do ya say? You and me, Waluigi the superstar. Me, the best dancer in the world. And you, the finest looking girl here. What do you say bab-blblblblbl!"

As if karma knew to strike, Waluigi is bumped away by Wario and I am actually relieved by that.

"Wario here! No offense, but you are hot."

His boldness takes me by surprise.

"Uh...Thanks, I guess."

"You know, I ain't normal. And I don't mean that I'm stupid. I can do all kinds o' stuff that normal humans can't, you know what I mean? How 'bout that? Amazing, huh?"

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just that I'm filthy, dirty, gut-churningly rich! It's all thanks to WarioWare, Inc.'s success! That still hasn't stopped me from swiping stuff. Just the other day, I pilfered a couple of portable game systems! Well, then I fell and dropped them down a manhole. This old guy popped out and asked me if I'd dropped those two systems or this other system I'd never seen before. I lied and took them both! I know, my brain is amazing! It's full of wrinkles, and...Uh...Wait...What am I trying to say?"

"Dude. That is sneaky, cruel, and downright bad."

"Yeah. So?"

"I have one word for you...Cool."

It takes him a moment before that registers as a compliment and he rubs the back of his head bashfully.

"Yeah, well, you know. A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do."

"Totally dude. So what brings you to this fancy place?"

"For real, this place is so crummy, if they didn't have free food and drinks, I wouldn't waste my time here. That and I know Peach, I don't want to be on her bad side."

Bad side? Peach has a bad side?

"Hello..."

Mario approaches.

"It's-a me, Mario."

"Hi."

"It's-a nice to meet someone new. We don't-a get many new faces around here."

"I've lived here for as long as I can remember. I just don't socialize like this."

"A pretty thing like you being here all this time? You must have been hiding really well to do that."

Waluigi teases and Wario shoves him as Mario coughs awkwardly.

"So...Um...If you don't-a mind me asking...You and Bowser?"

Wario slaps the back of Mario's head, knocking his hat off.

"Ow! My head."

"Geez Mario, you don't ask things like that to a lady."

Waluigi having regained himself, jumps on Wario, putting him in a headlock and the two now tussle. So I keep talking to the now re-hatted Mario and still shy Luigi.

"No, it's fine. I'm Bowser's companion. I work for him and take care of the kids. It's a sweet gig."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I know that seems hard to believe given the reputation of the Koopa and all. But honestly, I couldn't be happier."

"You know, you don't-a have to pretend around us. We know it must be hard for you to deal with that rascally reptile."

"I'm not pretending. Why would I need to pretend? I like Bowser and the kids. Is that really so weird."

"Well...Yeah."

"Look, I know you both have a history with the guy, but be for real right now. Why do plumbers have a beef with a King for?"

"Oh, we're not plumbers."

"Wha...?"

"I mean, we were plumbers. But that was many years ago. What was our slogan again?"

"We are the Mushroom Kingdom's plumbers extraordinaire! The Super Mario Brothers, what a pair! Do you have problems with your pipes? Is your water running right? Are all the fittings screwed down tight? If they aren't, don't despair! The super plumbers will be there! And there's no pipe we can't repair!"

"Ah, the good ol' days. We're mostly jacks of all trades types. We do the job that is needed and not stuck on only one thing for very long."

"Wait, wait, wait...Just how many jobs have you guys had over the years?"

"Well...Our core job total I believe is fifty-seven. But in total, I think...Luigi, what was it again?"

"One hundred and twenty was it last time I checked."

I'm stunned.

"Guys...Do you realize that's like over five or six lifetimes of work and yet you can't stick with anything?"

"Hey! We do a lot around here. Without us do you know how messed up the Kingdom would be?"

"I do. And I find that fact rather sad. Don't get me wrong, you two manage to pull off the impossible. But don't you think it's messed up that it IS only you two that have to do everything around here?"

Mario goes to speak again but the prove me wrong look I give has Luigi keep his brother quiet.

"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen. I wish to partake of what I'm hoping are some shrimp over there and maybe some...Oh snap! Is that a chocolate fountain?!"

I bolt past the boys to hit up the food.

"Glory be to the food gods!"

A giggle catches my ears as I grab a sandwich...It's Rosalina.

"I've heard a lot of things, but that was by far the most adorable."

"Thanks. I tend to say goofy stuff like that at random."

"My name is Rosalina."

"I'm Lynsie."

We shake hands.

"Forgive me for saying this, but I'm surprised you were able to make it to the party. The Comet Observatory sounds like it's a technical ship to run."

"You'd be amazed what one can do when you make a well thought out plan."

"That's true."

"So you take care of Bowser's children?"

"Yeah. I love those kids. They can be a handful at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world."

"I know what you mean. The Lumas are like my children. I'd do anything for them. They are my everything."

"Awww...Look at you two, bonding over your kids. That's so sweet."

Pauline steps over to refill her glass of champagne.

"You seem like a nice girl."

"I try."

"So...Big bad Bowser huh? Must've been one heck of a date to land that guy."

"I wouldn't say that exactly...We met when I was abducted, so, yeah. Not sure that counts as a date."

"Oh really?"

Princess Daisy comes over for some punch, but by the way she sounds, I get the feeling it's been spiked.

"Hi, I'm Daisy. And if I were you, I wouldn't take crud from that wannabe dragon turtle. You have to show that misfit who's really the boss. The moment he tries something, you slap him and send him flying into the sky without hesitation or regret."

"Daisy, my friend, how much punch have you had?"

"Not a bunch. This is only my fourth cup."

Pauline, Rosalina, and I all share a look of concern.

"I think she needs to be cut off."

"I'm fiiiiiine."

"Daisy, honey, you're sloshed."

"You don't know me."

"Come with me dear, I know a spot where you can sit down and relax. Do you want me to tell you a story?"

"*gasp* Yay! Storytime!"

Rosalina helps lead Daisy away, all while the Princess holds onto her and says all sorts of mushy things.

"Well, that was nuts."

"She'll be fine. The silly girl doesn't have much of a tolerance."

"Personally, I've never partaken of the tipsy sauce myself."

"Really? Good for you. You don't want to end up like Wario."

"That bad?"

"It's not that he has a problem. But more along the line of having no tolerance what-so-ever. Even a drop will mess him up."

"That's got to suck. If he's into drinking that is."

"Yeah. *sips* So...Are you and Bowser serious?"

"What?!"

That came out way louder than I wanted.

"I'm just saying, it's nice to see the guy moving on from Peach. I mean really...How long can you chase the same girl before you get the hint that she's just not into you? Am I right?"

And I'm uncomfortable again.

"There's my little spitfire..."

I'm suddenly hugged from behind by Bowser much to the amazement of Pauline and other onlookers.

"Coming out of your shell I see."

That can be a dirty innuendo in so many ways around him.

"I'm doing my best. How are you doing?"

"I'm having a blast. Heh heh...Oh! They got little cocktail weenies."

"Want one?"

Without giving any thought about it, I pick up a weenie by its toothpick and hold it up to his mouth, earning me some funny looks to add to Bowser's blush. Once it hits me that this is suggesting intimacy of romantic involvement, I am regretting so much that I let my guard down. I'm about to pull it away when he actually chomps on it.

"Mmmm...Tasty. Thanks."

That look he has. So sincere and kind...Why is my heart speeding up?

"You're welcome, dear."

Dear?! How many Courage Sodas did I drink?!

"Silly girl."

He lets me go and wanders off, leaving me rather befuddled.

"Wow...He really likes you."

"Please don't mess with me."

"No, I mean it. I've never seen, let alone heard of, him being that sweet with someone."

"That's probably because all the stories involving him paint him as a monster. He has flaws, but who doesn't? He's not as bad as everyone makes him out to be."

"I'm sure he isn't. Just like how Donkey Kong always taking me isn't traumatic."

That strikes a nerve.

"Don't give me that bull."

"Excuse me?"

"Donkey Kong, the original Kong, was Mario's pet and escaped because, let's be honest, Mario's not the best when it comes to animals. As revenge, Kong takes you and thus the adventure rescue happens. The original Donkey Kong's motive was revenge against Mario for not being a good pet owner, while the current Donkey Kong had three different variations of the kidnapping of you. In March of the Minis, it was due to his perceived rejection of his feelings in favor of Mario, and he took you away to shower her with gifts. In Minis March Again!, Donkey Kong appears to have kidnapped you due to theme park tickets being sold out. In Mini-Land Mayhem!, Donkey Kong just missed having the free Mini Pauline that was given to the first 100 guests of the theme park, so he takes the real you instead. Although the current Donkey Kong has ultimately proven to have harmless intentions, Mario still assumes the worst when the ape's brash temper acts up and causes him to take you away somewhere. Despite this, you and Donkey Kong remain on friendly terms and are stated to be 'close friends'. So don't go trashing Kong because you want to hate on Bowser."

"Geez, relax. This is a party after all. No need to get all crazy because I say a thing or two about your boyfriend."

Loyalty mode engaged!

"I disagree. I believe that entitles me to correct your mistakes."

"Oh please."

"Realistically, he's not a bad guy. A villain is a hero to those on the other side of the story. Some people will view him like he's wicked and that is how they come to see him. If his emotions get the better of him and he overreacts, that's the kind of person they think he is always. But that's not him. He may not always be the best, but he always does his best. You all judge him without even bothering to really know him. You only know the guy based on his actions. You don't know what that does to a person. The sadness. The anger. The feelings of being utterly alone even when with others. The feeling of just giving up on it all. But deep down, he knows only people like you see him that way. As a monster. It's those who are closest to him, the ones that care, we know who he really is. He's not the bad guy!"

A clawed hand on my shoulder draws me back into reality, allowing me to realize how loud I was shouting at Pauline and the number of eyes just gawking at the scene.

"You're letting the flame burn too bright, little spitfire. Breathe, and let the smoke die down."

Now I feel bad. I sigh and put my hand over Bowser's.

"Forgive me. I got hot under the collar and boiled over with steamy angst."

Pauline looks me over, then Bowser, then back to me and takes a long drink of her champagne.

"You're very passionate. You speak from the heart. I respect that."

"T-Thanks. Still, I'm sorry about going off like that. It's just..."

She shushes me.

"It's fine, I get it. You're sticking up for your man. I'd do the same thing if I were you."

That...That makes me feel so weird that it makes my head and heart hurt. I try to speak but Bowser beats me to it.

"Yeah, she's a real sweetheart, my little spitfire. Couldn't ask for a better gal."

I know this is all just a show of his, but damn it if it doesn't feel nice to hear such things.

"Come Lynsie...I wish to have a word with you, in private."

His hand on my shoulder squeezes with decent force and I nod.

"As you wish."

Pulling me aside and out of earshot, Bowser gets in my face with a look of puzzlement.

"As much as I want to thank you for saying all that, I have to ask...What the heck was that all about?"

"She was talking smack about you. I will not let some broad bad mouth my King when I know you are the greatest person in this room and beyond."

"As right as you are about that, you can't just blow up."

"I know. I feel like such a huge dork! I'm sorry. *groan* I knew I'd screw this up."

"Calm down. Look at me..."

He holds my shoulders.

"I have faith in you."

And just like that, I feel all sorts of stress leave my body as if fleeing into the air to ruin someone else.

"Thank you."

"Better?"

I nod.

"Good. But just in case..."

He grabs a red bottle with a picture of a rainbow star off a passing Toad server's tray and hands it to me.

"Drink this Pick Me Up."

"I said I'm fine. I don't need a booster."

"Just drink it, you courteous pain in my tail."

"Fine!"

Feeling my fire returning, I swipe it from him and drink with a daring glare.

"What? What's with that look?"

"*swig* I'm gonna woe the shell off of you."

My bluntness stuns him.

"W-What?"

"You heard me. This pain of a girl is going to sweep you off your feet and make all these dorks jealous. And do you know why? Because I just realized something...I don't care about any of these chumps. You're the only person here I give a Mouser's butt about, so why bother trying to fit some dumb image they assume from me? I'm gonna be me and do what I always do best when others look down...Not give a flying flip! So now, heheh...Now the real spitfire is loose, my King. I hope you can handle it."

Blush coats his cheeks before I see the fire burn in his eyes. I made a challenge and if one thing in this world is true, it's that Bowser Koopa never backs down from a challenge.

"Bring it on, spitfire! And don't you dare come at me with weak heat. I only want 100% raging inferno!"

"Yeah!"

I grab his smug mug and plant a big lipstick staining smooch his lips then pull away from the goofy Koopa with a grin.

"Whoooo! Let's get this party started! Yo, Luigi! You need to try this stuff!"

I grab another Pick Me Up and head over to the awkward Luigi while Bowser watches. Slowly the gears start turning in his head and realization hits. Feeling where the kiss was and looking at her, a new color of red burns his scales in mixed feelings.

"What have I done?"

"Mama mia, seems you're in over your head with that one."

Mario now standing near Bowser.

"Not now, Mario."

"Hey, what's-a wrong? The new girl too much for you?"

That made Bowser's eye twitch. What did that mean? Mario's been a player with women for years, any idiot knows that. The portly Italian has bounced from Pauline to Peach, then Pauline again, then back to Peach, then tried and failed with Daisy, back again to Peach, then back to Pauline, back to Peach, back to Pauline, then Peach, Pauline again, then Peach again, Pauline, Peach, Pauline, Peach, Pauline, Peach, failed with Rosalina, then returned to Peach, back to Pauline, then Peach, failed again with Rosalina, then back to Pauline, then again to Peach, Pauline, Peach, Pauline once more, then has stayed with Peach so far as of now. Why Peach? Why do you stay with this creep that's using you?

"What are you blabbering about down there, shorty?"

Ha! Take that, Mario!

"I'm-a just saying...She seems, I don't know, can't really put my finger on it. Um...Not your type, I guess?"

"And how would you know what my 'type' is? Lynsie's amazing. Heh...Way out of your league, that's for sure."

"I don't-a know. The girls, they seem to flock to me. I bet by the end of the party, even she'd swoon at the Mario charm."

If it weren't for promising Peach earlier, Bowser would so be pounding Mario into the floor till he was messy pulp.

"Mario...I'm going to say this as nice as I possibly can. If you mess with Lynsie is any way, I will personally go to your house, burn it to the ground, and make Luigi watch. Do you understand?"

"Oh, I understand..."

Mario steps away with a smirk.

"I understand you're scared I can do it."

The gall Mario has knows no bounds.

"You cocky son of a Birdo."

"Hey, it's-a me we're talking about. Mario. I'm-a always the hero. I'm-a always the winner. And you know what else?"

Mario looks Bowser square in the eye and smirks.

"I always get the girl in the end."

With that Mario leaves the now boiling Koopa who is holding himself back with every fiber of his being so he doesn't look bad in front of Peach. But this now calls for a change of plans.

"*muttering* You're a dead man walking, Mario. Your hat is going to be mounted on my trophy wall."

With that vow made under his fiery breath, Bowser returns to the party. Only now he had to be more mindful. On one side he was watching Princess Peach, his heart's desire, tending to a sobering up Princess Daisy with the help of the Lady of the Shooting Stars, Rosalina. Yet on the other side, he is eying Lynsie as she plays a game of "Feed Wario" with Luigi and Waluigi, taking turns tossing randomly dared items at Wario's big mouth while Pauline keeps score. She seems to be handling those guys well enough on her own. Mario on the other hand, like always, is the thorn in his side that threatens to undo everything.

This party was going to be the beginning of something bigger than anyone could have imagined.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	12. Party's over

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Hours passed. So far the party seemed to be doing well without incident, except for when Wario nearly choked trying to prove he could fit a large decorative vase in his mouth. Other than that, all was well. Good. Everything was good. No fights. No yelling. No trouble what so ever. Not even from a certain hero that dared to cause the Koopa King much rage by charming his fake girlfriend's favor.

There was one thing that did have Bowser feeling uneasy. Throughout the entire time they've been here, aside from their first interaction, Lynsie and Princess Peach hadn't engaged one another at all. Sure, he figured Lynsie was avoiding Peach so she wouldn't screw up the plan and staying around the guys seemed to be her niche where she fit in. But he couldn't help but notice Peach was making no effort to go near her either and seemed to be deliberately avoiding any area of the room Lynsie was in. Even going so far as to turn around after approaching the buffet table as soon as Lynsie went over to it.

This was very odd. And no reasons for such behavior could come to his mind unless she saw her as a threat. But that's just silly. Lynsie is no threat. Hell, the girl is as gentle as they come. All bark and weak bite. So what's the deal? Of all the things that he could've brought, another human seemed the lease harming. Maybe this was all in his head. Maybe these weird things were just coincidences that only made it appear like there is this strange tension pushing the two away. Either way, the girls will have to interact sooner or later. I mean, two people just can't avoid each other in a room all night...can they?

"Oooooh! Higher, Wario!"

"Wah ha...If you insist."

"Are you sure that's-a good idea, Lynsie?"

"Relax, Weegee...I'm wearing shorts under this."

Wario grabs my waits and throws me up high, almost enough the touch the ceiling.

"Dang. Almost had it that time."

"Maybe I should I throw her? I am taller."

"If you can think about garbing me without blushing then you can, mister superstar. Otherwise, no go to throw yo."

"I...um...*groan* Never mind."

"How much power this time?"

"I'd bet a good 20% more will launch our dear friend up there."

"You got the coin to back that bet up, Pauline?"

"You know me. I don't go anywhere without my purse."

"Score!"

For a bit now, this is how things have been. Just hanging out with what I have dubbed the cool ones of the party. I count Rosalina as cool too, but she's been busy attending to Daisy for the longest and I don't want to really have her around the likes of the Wa-bros. I mean bros in a buddy way and not the brother kind, they made it very clear when I asked that they were not related. They're just two sometimes nice yet evil guys who found each other and grew to like each other as partners. Wario and Waluigi's true relationship can be summed up as just a couple of weird friends being weird together. That's something I can respect like crazy.

And from our initial meeting, I can say Wario is now a good friend. Aside from calling me hot once, he's made no further remark or gone as nuts as Waluigi has with flirts. Heck, any guy willing to smack Mario is a friend in my book. Waluigi is a hard guy to work with. I want to like, while at the same time, I want to slap him. If I can somehow get him to stop being flirty, I think we'd be good, just like I am with Wario. Luigi is a guy I can get along with easily, mostly because our shyness gives us a base to work from and everything else spawns from it. While on the Pick Me Up drink, he's more open, though less than myself, it shows a side to him that he has trouble bringing out on his own. Pauline is a girl I can see as a maybe friend. We started rocky but she doesn't seem that bad once you get to know her. Rosalina, like I've said, is a pretty cool chick. Daisy, as soon as she's sober I'll check back on her. I do like her attitude though, that much is true. Boss Bowser seems okay. He moves back and forth between the groups, making polite conversation. Honestly, he looks normal when like this. It's rather charming.

Mario, I am unsure about. He lingers around, not with us but just away from the group to not warrant attention. Occasionally I see him go to Peach's side. I don't know them personally, but they act really strange for a couple in my opinion. Mario tries being affectionate but Peach just responds with basic friendly gestures. Mario saves Princess Peach quite often and she usually rewards him with a kiss on the cheek of nose upon her rescue and often bakes him cakes as well. They share good chemistry in sports games and have been good friends since childhood. They appear to have "romantic entanglements" of some sorts, all be it limited as far as the stories I've read tell. A weird account in the Prophecy of the Pure Hearts adventure is that both Mario and Luigi deny a relationship when Luvbi asks if Peach was Mario's "lady friend", Luvbi also comments that the princess "looms large in his regard" and then wonders if Mario had a "one-sided crush". Many other sources, however, do portray Mario and Peach as having an ongoing romantic relationship, such as Kingdom news articles listing Peach as Mario's girlfriend and sporting events calling Peach and Mario's team "Cutest Couple".

However, Peach has always maintained a friendly attitude towards Mario, although the matter of their true relationship remains unclear. It does seem she has concern for him like when Mario disappears in the story of Luigi's Mansion, she sends Toad to help Luigi search for him. She herself rescues all three of them from Bowser in the tale of Super Princess Peach. They also share good chemistry together as "buddy players" in baseball and kart racing Peach and Mario playfully bump each other. Numerous stories depict Mario and Peach as having mutual romantic affection for each other as well as a friendship. Peach is said to be the apple of Mario's eye. In the first Paper Mario book, one of the Toads tells Mario to take Peach on a date to Shooting Star Summit, and Rosalina refers to Peach as Mario's "Special One" in Galaxy story, with the two seen holding hands in the ending picture. During Power Tennis, he even went as far as telling Peach of his love for her in Peach's victory moment, which she responded to with a smile and a blown kiss. Though in that same moment, Luigi was there too and also took the sign of affection meant for him as well as Peach didn't specifically say it was for Mario. Most confusing indeed. I wonder if Peach is aware of Mario's past interactions with other women and is holding back from commitment till he's proven faithful. A wise move if I'm right, but also bad as it could make Mario seek out others for the affection he's not getting from her. Curse catch-22 paradoxes.

*Cling-Cling-Cling-Cling*

Everything stops and all eyes lock on Princess Peach tapping on a glass.

"Everyone, may I have your attention. *ahem* This has been a wonderful evening and I am happy all of you were able to come spend your precious time in my home. This may be my birthday, but it is more than that. It is a day that brings us all together. Friends. Foes. And new faces we've yet to know. So, now that dear Daisy is better and we avoid the punch from now on, I propose a toast..."

She holds up her glass of what looks like strawberry milk.

"No matter the path we walk, may the friendships we forge last long past any hardships we have."

She drinks and we cheer to her words.

"Now then. The hour is growing late. I'm sure you all don't want to stay here all night. So let's just get some pleasantries out of way so we don't end up dreading them later. If everyone can gather round we can get the embarrassing song over and done with, then cut the cake."

She motions to Toadsworth who then summons more Toad stewards to carry in the very tasty looking cake. Toadsworth is a sixty years old Toad and Princess Peach's longtime adviser. He has a southern English accent and often utters old-fashioned English phrases like "Tally-ho!" and "Pip pip!". He cares deeply for the Princess very much in a fatherly manner and has taken care of her since she was a baby, similar to Kamek and Bowser's relationship. Toadsworth has a tan complexion and a beige cap with brown spots. He has a puffy, white mustache, although there is some talk that is implying that his facial hair is fake. Like other Toads, Toadsworth is short and stout standing at the same height as all Toads of 3'5''. Despite his age, he is quite energetic. Wearing a light purple vest with gold buttons that have Toad emblems on them. Layered on top of the vest is a purple, sleeveless jacket or vest that hangs down like a tuxedo with gold trim. Underneath he wears white bottoms and brown, padded booties. He also wears small, black glasses and a red bow-tie. He walks around using a stick-like cane that has a brown mushroom cap on top with beige spots on it.

Now this cake...Oh, my god...No doubt this has to be the rare to make double layered Special Strawberry Cake, the ingredients need to be combined in the right order and prepared in the correct process or else it will ruin the cake, decorated with cream and strawberries. The first layer says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEACH" in strawberries and the second top layer has an image of her head surrounded by a heart made of strawberries. Hmmm...I'm starting to sense a theme here.

"Alright, on the count of three all of you...And a one, and a two...One, two, three..."

The room is filled with a mix of on and off-key singing of the good old "Happy Birthday" song. In a weird way it works, even if some people end up cringing. Toadsworth presents a small candle then Mario lights it, holding it up for Peach to symbolically blow out the fire of the past year and making a wish to come true in the next. She then cuts the cake, making sure there are enough slices for all.

"*giggles* Judging by the faces some of you have, I won't prolong it anymore. Dig in."

I've heard this cake was good, but once the baked confection hits my tongue, my mind explodes out the back of my skull with euphoric flavor. What I don't seem to notice is the blissful faces it's giving me and just how red-faced Waluigi is from staring at me till Wario elbows his side.

"*hushed* Quit eyeballing her."

"*hushed* I can't help it. Look at her."

"*hushed* I'm not blind, I know she looks good. But even you should know that this isn't helping your chances."

"*hushed* Then help me out."

"*hushed* And get on the bad side of scale face? Nah. Not happening."

"*hushed* Please? You owe me one for getting that Bottomless Coin Sack back from Captain Syrup."

"*grumbles* Fine."

Waluigi mentally celebrated. He always did know how to get his way when it came to Wario, after all, he is the 'brains' to Wario's 'muscle'. And this time around, his self-pity won't get in the way. For once, everything will go right for him and not someone else. Wah ha ha! Waluigi, the purple superstar! Purple combines the stability of blue and the energy of red. Purple is associated with royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. It conveys wealth and extravagance. Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic. It also has the odd effect of causing frustration. Waluigi's purple evokes romantic and nostalgic feelings, gloom and sad feelings. Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy. Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and generates muscle energy. Yellow is often associated with food. When overused, yellow may have a disturbing effect; it is known to make babies cry and to issue warning. In heraldry, yellow indicates honor and loyalty. Later the meaning of yellow was connected with cowardice. Yellow is an unstable and spontaneous color. Wario's yellow represents caution, decay, sickness, and jealousy.

"Lynsie..."

Bowser's voice breaks my yummy trance.

"Yeah?"

"Would you want this?"

Perched on the tip of his claw is the biggest strawberry I have ever seen.

"Seriously? You'd give that to me?"

"Well...Yeah. They're a little too sweet to me and you really seem to like them so..."

I fight the urge to cheer like a like kid on Koopmas morning.

"T-Thank you."

I aim to pick it off with my fork, only it slips. I then bounce it, hoping to knock it onto my cake, but it soars back. In a last resort move and instinct is one heck of a control, I move backwards to catch it. This results in me losing my footing and falling flat on my back as the strawberry comes down.

"Are you okay?"

Rosaline asks. My answer is to hold up my not spilled plate of cake and sit up to see the strawberry locked in my teeth.

"*muffled* I got it!"

This actually gets some applause for a few of them, though Bowser sighs and comes over to help me up.

"What am I going to do with you, foolish girl?"

I just giggle before enjoying the silly fruit.

"You know that was cool. You just don't want to admit it."

"I'm sure Jr. would give you a ten out of ten."

"Yeah. Because Jr. is awesome."

He pats my head playfully and I smile.

"*quietly* Hey, Luigi..."

"*quietly* Yeah bro?"

"*quietly* The new girl...What-a do you think about her?"

"*quietly* Lynsie? Oh, she's really nice."

"*quietly* Anything else?"

"*quietly* She's funny too. She told a joke earlier that-a made juice almost come out my nose."

"*quietly* Besides that. While you were palling around with her, did she really seem like she was into Bowser?"

"*quietly* Mario, why are you asking things like this?"

"*quietly* Just being curious. Can I not ask my bro his opinion about a girl?"

"*quietly* Then why are we whispering?"

"*quietly* Do you really want the girls to hear us talking about Bowser's girlfriend?"

"*quietly* N-No...I suppose not."

"*quietly* You don't-a want Daisy to get mad and think you're having feelings for another woman, do you?"

"*quietly* No! Never!"

"*quietly* Good. Because I don't-a want Peach mad either and ruin her party. So you'll tell me what-a you know?"

"*quietly* Yes, Mario."

"*quietly* Thanks, bro. I knew I could count on you."

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination, as well as passion, desire, and love. Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. In heraldry, red is used to indicate courage. Red is widely used to indicate danger. Mario's red is associated with vigor, willpower, rage, anger, leadership, courage, longing, malice, and wrath. This is the side not well known to the people of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario's boldness easily manipulates Luigi's timidness, a skill learned over years since childhood.

"So Rosa, great party, right?"

"Indeed. Most excellent of occasions."

"And this cake...*coos* You can tell this is really good cake and not that package stuff."

"It really does dance on the tongue."

"You thinking of doing this sort of thing more often?"

"Maybe. But I mustn't diverge from my mission. To protect the cosmos and find the Lumas real mother."

"Then what?"

"I beg pardon?"

"After you find their mother, then what? You stay all by yourself on that spaceship?"

"I...I'm sure I'll have company of some kind."

"Girl, don't get all jumpy. You'll always have a home here and in the Metro Kingdom."

"R-Really?"

"Of course! I can fix you up with the absolute best suite in my building."

"Thank you, Pauline. I will remember this."

"No problem. What are friends for?"

The two share a friendly laugh. Red also applies to Pauline, though her's is a bit different. Her shade is associated with joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, and love. Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven. Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquility and calmness. In heraldry, blue is used to symbolize piety and sincerity. Rosalina's blue is associated with health, healing, tranquility, understanding, and softness.

On the other end of the room, the two royal woman go over to the buffet table for a quick drink. Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is associated with joy, sunshine, and the tropics. Orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation. To the human eye, orange is a very hot color, so it gives the sensation of heat. Nevertheless, orange is not as aggressive as red. Orange increases oxygen supply to the brain produces an invigorating effect and stimulates mental activity. It is highly accepted by young people. As a citrus color, orange is associated with healthy food and stimulates appetite. Orange is the color of fall and harvest. In heraldry, orange is symbolic of strength and endurance. Daisy's orange corresponds to desire, sexual passion, pleasure, domination, aggression, and thirst for action. Pink is also part of the red spectrum. Peach's pink signifies romance, love, friendship and denotes feminine qualities and passiveness.

"Feeling any better now, Daisy?"

"Yeah. But I'll be feeling that in the morning. Any idea who spiked the punch?"

"Not sure. I would've said Bowser, but he wasn't here when it happened."

"Speaking of old flame breath...This must be a huge relief for you."

"Huh?"

"You know. With Bowser having a girlfriend, he no longer needs to kidnap you. Talk about the best gift you could've gotten today, huh."

"Oh. Yes, I suppose so."

"What's the matter? If I were you, I'd be bouncing off the walls, throwing confetti, and shouting from the rooftops."

"It's nothing."

"Don't tell me you...You don't like him, do you?"

"What? No. I don't like Bowser."

"Then what's the big deal?"

"Daisy...Do you know how boring my life was before Bowser began kidnapping me?"

"Not really. But given I don't get as much attention as you, I can take a wild guess."

"At first, I hated it. I mean, look at him. He's a beast. I don't care how dolled up he gets, he's nothing more than an evil creature that only seeks power."

"Hush your voice...You don't want Lynsie to hear you, less you want the lashing Pauline got."

"Do you think she scares me? *scoff* Any woman on Bowser's arm must be as uncouth and veil as he is. This, what they're doing right now, this is all an act. A show they're putting on to make themselves seem normal. So tacky."

"Whoa, harsh. How can you say that when you haven't even talked to her yet?"

"I don't have to talk to her. If she is with Bowser than there is nothing further I need to know."

"Look, I know things with the Koopa have been crazy in your life. But you are mixing messages here. You're unhappy that Bowser's got a girlfriend and won't kidnap you, but then you bash on the girl without even trying to understand her. You can't have your cake and eat it too."

"I can and I will. And how can you expect to understand how I feel or the things I've been through. The only bad thing to happen to you was when Tatanga the space alien invaded Sarasaland in order to marry you and make you his queen. Oh sure, he kidnapped you and hypnotizes all the land's inhabitants, enslaving them into his army. But once Mario defeats him, everything is all sunshine again. Heck, we don't even see or hear from you again till Mario opened a golf tournament."

"That's not fair, Peach."

"Fair? You're one to talk. You know Mario and I were together when he rescued you. Hope that kiss was worth it."

"We've talked about this. When are you going to get over it?"

"Get over it?! You kissed my Mario!"

"I didn't know he was taken!"

They are shouting at this point and everyone is watching.

"Oh, so that's how it is? You'll just kiss any guy that comes by to be the hero."

"You're out of line!"

"Really? Have you ever kissed Luigi? Because I'm willing to bet my crown you haven't."

"Girls, calm down."

"You stay out of it, hussy!"

"Hussy?"

"You're not innocent, Pauline. I can get over the fact you were Mario's first, but if you think I'll stand by why you keep calling him over to 'work on a new toy' then you've got another thing coming."

"Peach, I'm just friends with him. I help run Super Mini Mario World. And of course, I'm going to call him. Because I need his input on rides and yes, toys."

"A likely story."

"I know it's your party and you can rage if you want to, but honey, you need to get over yourself."

"What?!"

"I am mayor of New Donk City and in my spare time, I manage your man's theme parks and toy companies. I don't have time to fool around. If I'm going to waste time, then I'm going to do it by listening to some jazz music and lounging by the pool. Not make up fake reasons to have Mario come over and hear him talk all about you."

That seems to get to Peach enough that Mario attempts to step in as peacemaker. I smirk knowing this is a bad move, hell, even Bowser is trying to fight the smile this is giving him. Meanwhile, Wario and Waluigi are making bets on whether or not a catfight is about to start.

"She's right, Peach. Pauline is very business-minded, but not so good at fixing machinery."

"Are you seriously taking her side?"

"N-No, of course not. I'm-a just saying you're finding clues to something that-a doesn't exist."

Peach is livid. Fists balled up, arms straight at her sides, and a raging scowl on her normally cheery face. Lucky for Mario's sake, Toadsworth intervenes.

"Princess, forgive my intrusion. But I believe this will help."

He taps his cane on the floor and a ?-Block appears just above her. Once she hits it, the block disappears and produces a gift box.

"Toadsworth..."

Opening the box, she finds a beautifully crafted music box. Winding it up, the lid opens and obscures whatever it is inside from us onlookers, but her reaction tells all. Her eyes swell with tears and the soft music in lullaby form only adds to it.

"I...I don't know what to say."

"My fair Princess, I have watched you grow into the lovely woman you are today. In this time, I can say this much is true...Your parents would be very proud of you."

Toadsworth offers her a handkerchief and she dries her eyes.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry. Sorry to all of you. I'm most ashamed of my behavior. I hope you can forgive me."

Damn, now I owe Wario twenty coins.

"Daisy...Pauline..."

"I don't know. What do you think?"

"Eh. I'm not one to hold grudges or stay mad."

"Daisy?"

Peach gives her a sad pleading look and at first, Daisy turns away...Only to then glomp the birthday girl with surprised glee.

"Of course I forgive you, you big silly! You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you. Especially over some silly misunderstanding."

They hug and giggle in such a way that it's making my stomach want to hurl.

"Peach dear..."

Rosalina approaches the pair, holding a large envelope before offering it to Peach.

"What's this?"

"It's my gift to you. Since Toadsworth gave you his, I felt it only right to do so now."

Confused, Peach opens the envelope and a large fancy certificate comes out.

"Congratulations. You are now the proud owner of object GJ 504-b with the celestial address of 13h 16m 47.0s and declination of +09° 25′ 27″ on the epoch of Apr 12, in the constellation Virgo. Henceforth named...*gasp* Planet Peach, the pink princess of the galaxy!"

"To the one star that shines so bright in my eyes, I give you this one from the heavens."

"Oh my god, Rosalina! Thank you!"

"Happy birthday and may the stars shine on you."

"*whisper* A planet? Way to set the bar."

"*whisper* I know right?"

"*whisper* Relax, I got this."

"*whisper* Really? You can beat that?"

"*whisper* This is-a me we're talkin' about. Waluigi, superstar. Just watch and see."

"*whisper* Dude, if you can beat that, I'll sprout wings and call you Lord."

"*whisper* Heheh...No need for all that. But very flattering, babydoll."

"*whisper* ...I take back being nice now."

"*whisper* Awww, don't be like that."

"*whisper* Quit while you can my traitor friend. She's not interested."

"*whisper* How about a bet then?"

"*whisper* Go on..."

"*whisper* If my gift to Peach is better, then you gotta give me a kiss."

"*whisper* And if I'm right that you're wrong, then you pay Wario my betting wages."

"*whisper* Wha! *grumbles* Fine."

Waluigi and I shake hands.

"*whisper* But when I win, you better pucker up."

"*whisper* And you better pay. I don't shirk on debts."

"*whisper* Is it wrong that I'm-a enjoying this so much? Eh, who cares. This is going to be fun."

Wario makes note of the bet as Waluigi confidently strolls over to Peach and the rest of us just watch.

"Oh. Hello Waluigi. Do you have a gift for me?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. If you'd be so kind to take a seat..."

He pulls up a chair and Peach awkwardly sits down, looking unsure about listening to him of all people.

"You two still betting?"

"Yes, my King."

"Want in?"

"I might make a wager."

"Do tell."

"Ten gold on his gift being a lap dance."

I bite my tongue holding in laughter and Wario writes it down.

"Are you for real?"

"Just reading the energy."

"Doesn't that tick you off?"

"I'm betting on being wrong about it. I'd rather pay some coin then crack some skulls right now."

"Fair enough."

Back to watching the scene unfold.

"Comfortable?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Good..."

He goes over behind one of the tables and produces a guitar. Moving back over to Peach, he strums a few times till he gets the tune and then...He sings.

" _Doo, doo, doo...Doo. You be my princess and I'll be your toad. I'll follow behind you on rainbow road. Protect you from red shells, wherever we go. I promise..._ "

All jaws hit the floor. Waluigi's speaking voice is so much different from this angel's dulcet tones.

" _No one will touch us if we pick up a star. And If you spin out you can ride in my car. When we slide together we generate sparks in our wheels and our hearts. And The finish line is just around the bend. I'll pause this game, so our love will never end. Let's go again. Oooooooh...Ladadadadaa...Ladadaaa..._ "

Bowser pays Wario without looking away and I know I lost this bet by the sheer amount of red lighting up Peach's cheeks.

" _The blue shell is coming, so I'll go ahead. If you hang behind, it'll hit me instead. But never look back 'cause I'm down but not dead. I'll catch up to you. Don't worry about Bowser or DK. Just Eat this glowing mushroom and they'll all fade away. And The finish line is just around the bend. I'll pause this game, so our love will never end. Oh, and the finish line is just around the bend. I'll pause this game, so our love will never end. Let's go again..._ "

Waluigi throws in some impressively smooth moves for the ending.

" _To the mushroom cup. And the flower cup. And the star cup. And the reverse cup. Ooooooooh...Walawalawalawaa...Walawalawala Waluigiiiiii!_ "

With the plucking of a few final cords, the song ends and I among others find ourselves clapping. He takes a bow, coming back up with a pink rose for the swooning Princess. Then he makes his proud way over to the other girls, giving them each a rose in their respected colors. Pauline with red, Rosalina with cyan, and Daisy with orange. That's when comes to stand in front of me, cocky grin smearing his victorious face, he offers me a rose unlike the others, a black rose. I'm already a blushing fool at this point, but even more so when I go to take it and he halts me, pointing to his face and expecting payment from our bet. I sigh in admitted defeat and he chuckles before going in for a kiss...Only to punched clear across the room by Bowser.

"Kiss my fist, you skinny twerp!"

Lucky me the rose stayed put when it's holder flew and I got it before it hit the ground. I clutch the flower with an innocent smile as the Koopa King puts his protectively possessive arm around me. Wario just looks at me funny.

"Uh...You can pay me that coin later."

"Really? But I have the coin."

"Nah, it's fine."

"Okay, if you say so."

I'm oblivious to the "I'll tear you to pieces" look on Bowser, though it softens when he looks at me.

"You okay?"

"It's so rare. Black is associated with power, elegance, formality, death, evil, and mystery. Black is a mysterious color associated with fear and the unknown. It usually has negative connotations for being dark. Black denotes strength and authority; it is considered to be a very formal, elegant, and prestigious color. In heraldry, black is the symbol of grief. Black gives the feeling of perspective and depth. Black contrasts well with bright colors. Combined with red or orange, other very powerful colors, black gives a very aggressive color scheme. A black rose itself in the Language of Flowers can also mean farewell, rejuvenation or rebirth, or the start of a drastic change. An alternate meaning is 'pure devotion' since a true black rose is near impossible to produce. It's anything but normal and I love it."

"Oh..."

I stick it on his jacket much to his confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"It looks better on you."

Bowser bashfully looks away and rubs the back of his head.

"T-Thanks."

And so the gift giving continues. Pauline presents Peach with a mini windup Tinkertoy version of the Princess, a prototype similar to the Mini Marios. That toy buried the hatchet for their quarrel earlier. Wario presents her a large Pink Diamond he got in Glittertown from the Shake Dimension. So shiny! So pink! Is there anything lovelier that you can pull from deep under the ground? Probably, but we won't tell her that or that Wario later mentions he plans to take it back. The guy can only part with his treasure for so long before his greed demands it back. Silly man. But it's the thought that counts...right?

Luigi presents Peach with something he's held onto for a long time, the Quartz Charm. This "Shining source of power" was given to Luigi by Mario after the events of fighting Smithy in the Legend of the Seven Stars. To get the charm, Mario and his team had to defeat Culex. Culex is a being from a different dimension who desired to do battle with warriors from our world. He appeared to be a type of demon, having dark purple skin, red twisted horns and wings, a red mark along his torso, a jagged tail, and several crystals surrounding his waist. He also emanated what appeared to be dark energy. After Mario's victory, Culex rewarded Mario with the Quartz Charm and the door to his void vanished.

Daisy is next to offer her gift to Peach. This gift is a hard to find item called the Life-Up Heart. This heart-shaped item raises your maximum life value like normal heart items but is much more powerful. The heart itself is a vibrant red framed in gold and topped with a gold crown. A most impressive gift indeed. Mario then follows up with a custom figure of Peach in pink gold. Pink Gold Peach is posed in a graceful manner made of pink gold while her earrings, brooch, and crown jewels are made of diamonds. Looks like someone is trying to show off and hoping for some kiss-kiss action.

Lastly, it's my King's turn to reveal his gift to his long sought after love interest. But for some reason, he looks disappointed after Mario gave his gift.

"Bowser, do you have something for me?"

"O-Oh. Yeah."

He steps over to her with box in hand. I don't think I've ever seen him so nervous. Peach slowly unwraps the box and reveals this charming colored glass statute of the Princess.

"I...I made it myself."

This touches Peach. While I feel a pang inside.

"Awww...Bowser...It's lovely. You really made this?"

"Yeah. Well...I blew the glass and sculpted it. Kammy was the one to help add the colors."

"That's amazing."

"Thank you. I'm so glad you like it. Nothing makes me happier than to see a smile from you."

"Who knew someone like you could make something so wonderful."

That right there pisses me off. What does she mean by that? The man's a father, he has kids, sure seven of them aren't really his, but they're all wonderful. Who does she think she is saying that to his face! I move to come closer but a recovered Waluigi grabs my arm.

"Let go, superstar."

"As cute as hearing you call me that-a is, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I see that-a look in your eyes. You're about to go off again."

"No, I'm not."

"Please...Don't cause a scene, babe."

"One, don't call me babe. And two, I'm just going to explain to her that she is being incredibly rude and needs to apologize."

"Then why are your fists balled up?"

"Because if you don't let go, I'm about to deck you harder than Bowser did. Now...*growl* Let go."

He throws his hands in the air.

"Good boy."

I trudge my way over yet stop because of Bowser's continuing conversation with her.

"Haha, good one Princess. Your wit is as refined as you are."

"Bowser, if I ask you a question, will you be completely honest?"

"Of course! Your wish is my command. Ask me anything."

"Will you still be trying to kidnap me now that you have her?"

Making her point even further, she even gestures at me so he knows I'm near.

"Lynsie? I mean, I suppose that wouldn't make much sense to take you when I have her."

That made me smirk. I mentally chalk that up as a win for me. Peach apparently saw this and was irked by it.

"So she's your new 'gold standard', huh? And not even a princess. I suppose beggars can't be choosers."

The hell is her issue?!

"I'm sorry...But do you have a stick up your butt?"

"Lynsie!"

"What did you say to me?"

"Forgive her, Peach. She's just hopped up on boosting drinks. She's not in her right mind."

Now I'm mad. I pull him to look at me.

"What are you doing? Why are you groveling to her like you did something wrong?"

"I am trying to fix this before you screw this up for me. Now zip your lip and go wait in the carriage."

I'm no longer mad...I'm furious.

"My King...*deep breath* I'm going to forgive the things you say and ignore everything else up to this point because I know you can't help yourself when it comes to Peach. But...Hehe...You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to leave you with this indelicate woman."

"You dare call me rude?!"

"Oh, you misunderstand me. I'm outright stating you are rude. This man didn't have to come here. He didn't have to put in so much effort just for you. He didn't have to make you that gift. But he did. And then you insult him? Rude doesn't even cover it. You're shallow and petty."

The hate in Peach's eyes makes everyone, even Bowser, back away as she comes to stand in my face.

"I don't think you understand how things work around here."

"Oh, I do. I'm just the only one that doesn't care."

"Then you know that it's very stupid to make me mad."

"*mocking* Oh no. The Princess is gonna be mad at me. Boohoo. Whatever shall I do? *scoff* Kiss my butt! I don't fear you."

There is a wave of gasps and her face is steaming red.

"Big mistake..."

A sudden stinging pain strikes my cheek and then I see she's mover her hand...Did she slap me?

"Don't mess with the Princess!"

Oh, you foolish girl...You know not who you're dealing with.

"Again."

"Huh?"

"Again. Slap me again. Do it. Show me and these others how superior you are by striking me again."

"Do not mock me."

"Why not? You're a joke. Everything about you is laughable. You put yourself on this all so perfect pedestal when you are far from it."

"I'm better than you, that's for sure."

"You've known me for maybe less than five minutes, even though I've been here for hours, and somehow you can see just how much better you are? Woman, are you trying to make me laugh?"

"You're not a Princess! You don't know the responsibility I have."

"Neither is Rosalina and Pauline. Are you saying you're better than them too?"

"N-No...This isn't about them!"

"You're right. It's about you. Everything is always about you. Because if Peach isn't happy, no one is, right? You're so sadly narcissistic it's pathetic."

"I am not..."

"Let me cut you off there by saying I'm not the one whose face is piratically plastered on everything."

"I'm the ruler. It's normal."

"No, you're not the ruler. You haven't 'ruled' anything in your life. Now your dad on the other hand..."

"Don't you talk about my father!"

Oh my, someone has daddy issues.

"Look at you. Such a child that all you see is the play and not the puppets on strings."

"I am widely respected in MY Kingdom and beyond. My Toads are very loyal, and my citizens adore me. Many people in the Mushroom Kingdom and beyond buy and even collect merchandise of me."

"I know. Heck, Bowser made a purchase from one of you 'loyal servants' about an hour ago for photos of you."

"*gasp* You creep!"

"Hey! Don't get mad at him. You're the one that wants him to go after you."

"I do not!"

"Please. You were yelling it at Daisy earlier. 'Do you know how boring it was before Bowser kidnaps me'? You're the creep getting a sick kick by toying with his heart!"

"You're just jealous because you know he loves me and not you."

"I know he loves you, you moron! I'd have to be dead not to know! But I still care enough not to be a complete witch to him! The man worships you and you spit in his face like he's dirt! He can do so much better than some fake Princess that can't even rule over a can of beans!"

Again I feel the sting of her slap and again I just take it. The room filling with this odd sense of chills and heat.

"My King..."

My voice is seething but he does answer me.

"Yeah?"

"Permission to retaliate?"

Peach glares at Bowser and he flinches.

"No."

That makes her smirk.

"Look at that. Your so-called king bends to my will."

"He doesn't do so because he fears you. He does so because he likes you. People do and say things all the time that makes them look better to those they like. Do you think I wanted to wear this dress? Heck no! But I am because he wanted me to so it would impress you."

"*huff* You're trash. A thought. Just some little gutter scamp he's taken pity on. You're..."

"Are you done? Because I can care less what you think about me. Your opinion is worth a jar of Poochy's poop to me. The only person here whose words matter to me is my King."

"Then you're as moronic as that beast you call king."

I snarl, showing a bit of teeth.

"I'm warning you now. You can talk trash about me all you want. But speak ill of my King, and you will live to regret it."

"Is that a threat."

"I don't make threats. I make promises. And I always am true to my word."

Mario elbows Bowser's side to get his attention.

"Aren't you going to do something?"

"Me? Why?"

"She's your girl, right? Make her stop."

"And give this up? Heck no. I'm living the dream, shorty. Those women are fighting over ME. And besides, why don't you stop Peach?"

"I'm-a not risking my neck getting between them."

"Neither am I, shorty."

Mario whacks his face with his palm and groans as the fight escalates.

"Heh, not so smart threatening a Princess. That's an arrestable offense."

"Sure, arrest me for defending my King. That makes so much sense. Oh, while we're at it, let's throw the cuffs on you for all the messed up stuff you've done."

"Me? I've done nothing..."

"Exactly. You've done nothing. You do nothing. That's reckless endangerment. For crying out loud, Toadsworth could run this Kingdom better. You stand around, your head full of hot air from your self-centered ego, and do nothing. You don't benefit the kingdom."

"And how would you know?!"

"I'm thirty years old. Your dad was ruling while I was growing up and I know stuff got done while he was in charge."

"I told you not to talk about him!"

"Where is he, Peach? Did Wart take him away? Did he die? Why do people think he's still here somewhere? What are you hiding?"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! My father will not be the soapbox you stand on!"

"Must have been hard growing up. Dad keeps getting taken away. And when he's home, he's not really home. Too busy to play with his little girl."

"Stop it!"

"But even if he was too busy, you managed to learn one lesson from him, didn't you Peachy? You learned that people will pay attention to you if you're in danger."

"Be quiet! Why won't you stop?!"

"All the attention you got that first time you were abducted...Must be some sort of rush for you to keep it going this long. So many kidnappings and attacks on the Kingdom, yet not a safety precaution is taken to prevent things from happening. I wonder why?"

"Silence!"

"Admit it. You like stringing these boys along just so you feel like you matter. Do you even really care for the ones you call friends? They risk their very lives to 'save' you, but really, you make them do it for your amusement."

"That's not true!"

"Is it? You're not a pushover, Peach. I can feel the power in your slaps. I've read the stories of your abilities. While not very strong physically, you make up for it in technique and skill, not to mention fast and agile as well. You have the unique ability to float in mid-air and have impressive healing abilities. You occasionally have telepathic powers and can turn your cursed Toads back to normal from being bricks. You can put opponents to sleep and hip-check opponents so that they're engulfed in an explosion. You can even use hearts and the power of love to combat your opponents. So explain to me how you, with all that power, can't free yourself from whatever happens?"

"I can't escape! He locks me in a room!"

"Lair! You have free roam of his castle while in his custody! And by the way, I've seen that room of yours. It's custom made for you. All pink and girly. Yeah, a real chamber of horrors."

"You know nothing!"

"I know you're playing these people and this land for suckers. But I'm not falling for it. When Bowser captured Mario, Luigi, and Toads, it was you that came to the rescue. You traveled to Vibe Island, where Bowser moved his operations in order to obtain the Vibe Scepter. Eventually, you fought your way through the island's many hazards and rescued them all. Face it, Peach...You can flee from Bowser at any point and even beat him up, but you don't. You can save yourself with ease, but you make Mario do it or Luigi. You invite the rivals of your loved ones over just to make them look better after humiliating them. You probably only hang out with these girls so you can flaunt all this so-called success in their face just to make yourself feel good."

"No..."

"You paint yourself as the damsel in distress, but in reality, you're just a sad little girl seeking the attention you never received from the ones who were supposed to give it to you."

I turn my back on her.

"May the stars have mercy on your weary soul."

I start to walk away when I'm shoved to the ground.

"You talk like a Koopa, dress like a Koopa, and obey the Koopa King. If you love Koopas so much, then you can walk with your face in the dirt like those shelled freaks."

I can feel my will to be a good girl being overpowered by my need to beat her up.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

I stand up and keep my back to her. Fists clenching in restraint.

"My King...Permission to retaliate?"

I keep asking out of respect to Bowser's wishes. I will not do anything without his okay.

"Stand down, Lynsie."

"That's right. Leave. Go back to that dump of a land that you call home and those disgusting monsters you call children."

My heart stops dead and I look at Bowser. His face is mixed with hurt and parental anger. There is no need to ask this time.

"Permission granted."

I grin deviously and turn back to the now regretting her words Princess.

"Peach...Now you've done messed up."

"Y-You wouldn't dare!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Guards!"

"Heh...Wussy."

Toad guards can be heard coming down the hall.

"Guess the party's over, huh my King?"

"Yeah."

"Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. Let me just grab the goodie bag."

"What? I didn't make any goodie ba-aagh!"

I sucker punch Peach in her gut and knock the wind out of her.

"No goodie bags? You're cheap too, Princess."

I toss her over my shoulder and salute.

"Lovely meeting you all, hope we can still be friends, gotta go, bye!"

I make a run for the exit as others try to go after me. But Bowser's got me covered, stomping on the ground to shake things up and blasting a dividing wall of flame between us.

"I can't believe we're really doing this."

"I can't believe you actually waited for me before you hit her."

"Hey, I may have a temper but I respect you more."

"When we get back, you're so getting a reward."

"Less talk of things to come. We've got company."

The summoned Toad guards fill the entry room and point their spears at us.

"No biggie. I got this."

Bounding ahead of me, Bowser tucks into his shell and spins into them like bowling pins, sending Toads flying everywhere before he pops back out to break the castle door down.

"Come on, spitfire, move it!"

"I'm running as fast as I can. She's heavier than she looks."

"Hey!"

I purposely smack her into the door frame on the way out and she's out cold.

"Careful with the merchandise."

"It was an accident."

"My shell it was."

"Bowser!"

We hear Mario yell.

"Don't-a think I'm-a going to let you get away that easily!"

And by the sound of it, he's making his way towards us.

"Time to make like a Boo, and disappear."

"Agreed."

We cram into the carriage and startle the Chomp Bro driver.

"Don't just sit there, get this thing moving! NOW!"

With a harsh snap of the reins, the Chain Chomps take off with great speed. Fleeing the castle grounds just as Mario and the gang reach the front door. Bowser can't help but stick his head out the window.

"Bwa ha ha ha! Suck it, Mario! I win! The Princess is mine!"

"*distant* You won't get away with this!"

"I already have, loser!"

He sits down and shuts the window with a satisfied chuckle.

"Oh man...Aside from a few things, I think that was the best party ever. What about you?"

"Eh. It was okay. I can cross something off my bucket list though."

"Yeah? What?"

"I can now proudly say, I have knocked the wind out of a royal windbag."

I say confidently as I finish binding her arms and legs in one of the curtain's really long cords.

"Hey, that's my future windbag you're talking about. The soon to be WIFE of Lord Bowser."

"Yeah-yeah, I know..."

I plop down next to him and stare at her.

"I still think you can do better."

He exhales softly through his nose and rubs into my scalp gently, almost kneading it.

"You're a sweet girl, Lynsie."

"Thank you, my King."

My heart hurts and I don't know why. I could go for a hug right now, but I don't think he'd be willing to give me one at the moment. I miss the kids. They always know how to cheer me up. Why does this hurt so much?

"*sniffles*"

"Hey...Are you...Are you crying?"

"I don't know. *sobbing*"

This sudden urge to cry unloads and I can't stop it. I shove my face into a quilt to muffle the sound so it won't bother him. However, this is already super awkward for him.

"Ah geez...Come on, don't cry. You know I can't stand the sound. *groans* Please stop. Everything's fine. We're okay. You, me, we're both okay. So, please...Stop crying."

"*muffled* I wanna go home. *shaky gasps* I wanna be with the kids. *shaky gasps* I wanna...*sniffles* I wanna...*sobs*"

I curl in on myself. I want to hide this from him. Crying is normal but I feel ashamed for breaking down like this. I'm so out of it in this sadness that I don't feel him hold me and sit me on his lap. His head rests atop mine, his arms embrace my trembling form, and he speaks softly in hopes to calm me down. Slowly, over some unknown amount of time, the sounds of sobbing subside and I eventually show my makeup ruined face.

"You alright?"

I don't feel like talking, it might set the tears off again, so I simply nod.

"Are you sure?"

I shake my head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head again.

"Do you want me to keep holding you?"

I nod and sniffle lightly.

"Now now, none of that. Just relax. Maybe take a nap. It's a long ride, but we'll be home soon. There, you can be with the kids and everything will be okay. Sound nice?"

I nod again and lean more into his hold.

"Good girl. Just take it easy. You did good, Lynsie. You don't have to talk. We can just do this till you feel better. Okay?"

I nod weakly and shut my eyes. His body's vast internal warmth lulling my messed up senses to sleep. After a while, the sound of soft breathing lets the Koopa King know his little spitfire's light is out and he carefully moves her off him to lay on the seat beside him.

"Hmmm...Wonder what got her so upset. I know women can be emotional, but that...I don't know."

Looking over at the bound unconscious Princess on the opposite seat, Bowser felt like the luckiest man alive. This was it. Things were finally coming up his way. He swore he'd keep kidnapping Peach OVER and OVER until he pulled it off. That no one would stop him. Losing was not an option and neither was giving up. And this was it. His relentless tenacity finally paid off. Nothing was going to ruin this for him. Not Mario. Not Luigi. Not even Peach's reluctance. He had won. And it felt amazing.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	13. Day one: A new game begins

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The ride returning to the Koopa Kingdom was speedy and precise. No time was wasted in retreating back to home territory. After all, with an abducted Princess on board the carriage and an angry maybe-boyfriend coming to kick shelled butt before taking her back. Now Bowser has no fear of Mario, far from it. In fact, any fear he would have gained in the years of facing the Mario Brothers has been overridden by resentment and a need to prove himself. As one of the Seven Star Children, Bowser knows he is destined for great things. It doesn't help that he opposes four of the other six constantly.

The star children were young children, now adults, that have magical fallen stars that rest in their hearts that grant them extraordinary amounts power since birth. If one were to collect all the stars, then the owner would have enough power that they will be able to rule the entire universe and beyond. The Seven Star Children are Bowser, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Donkey Kong, Wario, and a green Yoshi. Now there are rumors that there are/were more Star Children, but it's pure hearsay and no proof has ever been found. Oddly enough, the Seven Star Children also correspond to the Seven Deadly Sins.

The Seven Star Children correspond to the Seven Deadly Sins. Mario is associated with Pride as he is always in the spotlight and inflated ego. Luigi is associated with Envy as he lives in his brother's shadow and wants to be just like him. Bowser is associated with Wrath as he constantly wars with Mario and others for what he wants. Peach is associated with Lust as she inspires lust in others rather than lusting after anyone. Wario is associated with Greed as his life revolves around the finding and hoarding of vast amounts of treasure. Yoshi is associated with Gluttony as for the obvious reasons of over-consumption and unnecessary eating. And Donkey Kong is associated with Sloth as he is normally very passive/non-active unless something gains his interest and he wants it or if something threatens his banana hoard.

But today was different than all those past times. Today, with the help of his female companion, he was able to claim his long sought-after prize. Again. For this month anyway. To be honest, he kidnaps Peach all year-round except for birthdays/holidays so this isn't too big of a deal in that aspect. What did make this different was his plans on how to handle things during this period of before Mario gets here.

The carriage arrives at grand castle Koopa. It's attending guardsmen approach and is nearly knocked back by the force made by the door swinging open.

"Welcome home, Lord Bowser."

They say in unison.

"Pipe down, you lunkheads. Or do you want to wake the kids?"

"Sir, sorry, sir."

"*groan* Have the preparations been made?"

The lead trooper steps forth and salutes.

"Yes, sir. As per your orders, we made the modifications to the Princess's room. The windows have been barred and seal from the outside. Sensors have been placed to detect motion, heat, and weight. And her door now has reinforced locks."

"Good. Take her there and make sure she doesn't leave. Do not listen to anything she says, unless you hear something from me, don't do anything else. She has no power here."

"Yes, sir!"

The troops enter the carriage then carry out a very displeased and tied up Princess Peach.

"Get your filthy hands off me! Mario will come for me! You will all regret this!"

"Will you shut up already?! God, she's giving me a migraine..."

Lynsie makes her exit of the carriage with a growl while rubbing her temples.

"Damn woman hasn't shut her mouth since she woke up. Now I know why the wicked can get no rest. Because the hostages never shut up."

"Relax, spitfire. You don't have to deal with her anymore. At least, for tonight."

I give Bowser a look.

"What?"

"Did I hear all that correctly? You're actually going to keep the bird in her cage?"

"I may have done some thinking about the things you told me when you first got here. I do give her too much freedom. I mean, how ungrateful of her to steal my items and power-ups then give them to Mario to use against me."

"That's what I was saying!"

"I know! But not this time. That oversized meatball isn't getting help this time."

"Will the children be stationed at the zones as mini-bosses?"

"No."

"Oh?"

"Come. I'll explain along the way."

I do as told and follow my King as we return the castle I have come to look at as a second home.

"The Koopalings will be remaining here. As will Jr.. They will be set up as the mini-bosses of the castle that guard my main chamber."

"Then who's going to be in the zone castles?"

"Old friends."

"See...You say that like I'm supposed to know what you mean, but do recall I've only known you for about a month."

"*sigh* I've pulled some strings and managed to get some strong enemies back to really give that Mario a run for his money. Baddies that would love to get another crack at Mario for times past."

"You've got my attention...May I ask who?"

"In castle one, he'll face the Axem Rangers."

I'm shocked.

"Dude, I thought they died when their ship Blade blew up. Isn't that why Smithy made robot versions?"

"That's what a lot of people thought. Since then, they've gone underground and became henchmen for hire. They cost a fair amount of coin, but worth it."

"And castle two?"

"The Fuzzy Horde and Smorg."

"...Castle three?"

"Wart."

"Really?"

"He owed me a favor."

"Why?"

"That is none of your concern."

I wonder what it was.

"Wow...That's rather ominous. But I won't pry. Castle four?"

"Dunk & Shoot. Wario recommends them."

"Taking a risk with recommended help, aren't you?"

"It's fine. He promised my weight in treasure if they fail, so it's a win either way. Besides, the fifth castle is in the charge of the dragon siblings. Bonetail, Gloomtail, and Hooktail."

"Impressive. The dragon trio are tough and very deadly on their own, but together...Mario's a dead man."

"And if he somehow defeats them, there's no way he's making it past castle six's Golden Diva."

"Golden Diva? Wasn't she killed by Wario? Though to be fair, that old hag was ancient and a sneeze would've probably killed her too."

"You forget something, little spitfire. I am not called Great Demon Sorcerer King Koopa for nothing."

"...Oh my god, you brought her back from the dead didn't you?"

"Yes and no. She's a statue that will come alive if Mario sparks the final bit of the spell keeping her soul set in stone. Which, of course, he has no choice but to do in order to leave the castle."

"Rather brilliant of you, my King."

"I thought so too. It felt good to do some magic again."

"Dare I ask what guards castle seven?"

"A little surprise Jr. made for me...Mecha-Bowser 2.0."

"Awww...That boy never ceases to amaze me."

"That's my boy. A smart and powerful child worthy of the title King someday."

"That he is. Hmmm...Speaking of Jr...I'm a tad surprised he and the others didn't welcome us back."

"It is pretty late. Even my kids have a curfew when I leave the house."

"True."

"They probably fought tooth and nail not to sleep though."

"Just like their father."

"Yep. ...Hey!"

I laugh as he messes my hair up. Not that I mind, it needed to be undone anyway.

"Oh! Did I mention how the castles are void of any items and power-ups he might need to fight?"

"...You sly Koopa, bravo. Now you're really stepping things up and going Hard Mode on his butt."

"It accrued to me that it would be more fun if he had a bit of a challenge. That and it gives us more time to settle back into our lives. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I agree with you most heartily. Okay, so the castles are filled and the children have their posts. Where do I fit in now in this grand scheme of yours, my King?"

"You? You're done."

What?

"Done?"

"Yeah..."

He stops at what I guess is his room and opens the door.

"You're part is done. You can go back to minding the children."

"Oh. ...B-But maybe I can do something else?"

"Like what?"

"I...I don't know. But I know I'm more useful to you than just an accomplice kidnapper."

"Of course you are. You're the caretaker. Now, go take care of the kids by making sure Jr. is sleeping."

I'm speechless as he goes inside and shuts the door. In a short amount of time, I've gone from the most important tool in his box to being something he could easily cast aside. My heart hurts. I want to say something. But I can't find the words for whatever it is my soul wants me to say. All I end up doing is walking away with my head hung low. Guess my work really is done here. Now that he has Peach, who am I to stand by his side and see to his happiness? Not me, nope. I'm just a loyal fool that is only good enough for what he needs and nothing more. I sigh depressingly and flag down a patrolling Koopatrol, I need their help in relocating the dressing room Wendy dolled me up in so I can change. Lucky for me he knows where every room is and is willing to help.

Thanks to their efforts, I change out of the dress that I was sadly starting to like and return to my lowly normal look, though I do keep the shell and spiked bands. For some reason, it just feels right. Seeing my reflection in a passing window as he escorts me to Jr.'s room, Peach's words start playing in my head.

"So she's your new 'gold standard', huh? And not even a princess. I suppose beggars can't be choosers."

Maybe she's right. Not about everything, just this. I know he can do better than her, but I'm no prize either. I'm just a dumb commoner and she's royalty. She holds way more value than I ever can. Even if their marriage is forced, she'll be giving him power over her land and all that it holds. I can't do that. I can't offer him anything. Maybe my collection of books, but that's it. God, why am I even thinking like this? Why do I care what he does? Sure, he's my King and I consider him a dear friend, but I have no say in his love life. Damn it Lynsie, get your head together and do what you can to make him happy even if he doesn't know it. It's the best you can. It's all I really can do. And maybe...That's good enough.

Once at Jr.'s room, I carefully and quietly enter. The young Prince is thankfully sound asleep, though thanks to the Lava Bubble nightlight, I can see he did put up a fight not to give in to that old Sandman. I do my best to join him, taking my shell off before slipping into bed and hoping to be rid of my thoughts in slumber. Even in his sleep, my presence is noticed by the boy and no sooner when my head meets the pillow do I feel the grip of small hands clutching my arm like it's all he has.

"*dreamy coos* Mama...My Mama..."

Oh, sweet loveable Jr...Your dad can be dumb, but you make up for it with being so gosh darn cute.

"No worries, sweetie. Mama's here."

He cuddles closer and I turn over to hold him. Suck it Peach. You be Bowser's power pawn, but you can't have this. You'll never have this. This is mine, and mine alone. These are my children. Not yours.

[The next day]

The morning comes with familiarity. Bowser takes his time in waking. While I am up the second Jr. does. Oh, how I hear the endless amounts of questions from the boy. How was the party? Was it fun? How was the food? Did you and Papa get to dance? Did you kiss? On and on, each question escalating from innocent to embarrassing. I don't tell him everything though. Especially not the part when I kissed Bowser while on boosters. I just give him the run down in the simplest way possible that won't allude to anything his little mind can make into assumptions. And it doesn't stop with Jr. either. The moment the Koopalings meet up with me, dear lord, they act like I've been gone for years or even longer. Each of them, in their own way, let me know I was missed even though I was only gone for just over half a day.

Larry, Lemmy, and Wendy pretty much treat me the same as before but do offer me hugs. Iggy gives me a cool 'I'm glad you're back' card he made. Roy and Morton quarrel over who gets to stay with me for the day. But the one to surprise me was Ludwig. He did not offer me anything, he did not fight for anything, nor did he try to woo me with elegant words. All he did, was shake my hand and smile.

I know I'm not well versed in matters of courtship, I mean, I can tell when there are obvious intentions like with Roy, Morton, and Waluigi. But Ludwig always leaves me puzzled. He seems interested but the way he interacts with me is not what I'm used to. He's being subtle, sincere and non-validation-seeking in his approach. Why does it make me want more?

Courtship is the period which precedes a relationship that helps to determine if it should lead to engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple gets to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or maybe a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been perceived that it is the role of a male to actively 'court' or 'woo' a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a proposal of marriage.

Wait...What is Koopa courtship even like? Is it similar to normal turtles or tortoises or dragons? Uh...I don't think I want to find out.

I change things up with a compromise. I nominate I show them how to cook and we put it to a vote. If what we end up making isn't good, then I'll order pizza. It's funny how food can easily sooth them.

"So, sugar, what we cookin' up? 'Cause I've already got this hot beef right here."

Roy flexes and I snicker to myself.

"You're more of a ham to me, brother."

Ludwig has the best comebacks.

"Bite me, nerd!"

"I'm afraid my taste buds wouldn't care for that. I think you're past due."

"Boys...No fighting or the pizza deal is off. Understood?"

"Sorry, sweetheart."

"The deepest of apologies."

"Thank you. Now then, what kind of food are we all craving today? Something sweet? Sour? Savory?"

"Oh! I have a question!"

"Yes, Lemmy?"

"Why do you have a shell?"

I was wondering when that was going to be noticed.

"Wendy made it for me. I've grown rather fond of it. Do you like it?"

"It makes you look like one of us."

"We accept her, we accept her. One of us, one of us. Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble. *snickering*"

Larry and Iggy are a real trip sometimes.

"Did you guys have movie night without me?"

"We didn't want to. But it helped deal with you being gone."

"Awww."

"Morton know what Morton wants!"

"Yes, dear?"

"Morton wants this."

While everyone's been talking, Morton was actually rooting around the cookbooks.

"Let's see...Dangerous Delight: Dinner with a dash of danger! Not for the faint of heart. ...Are you sure? It's made with Poison Mushroom."

He nods excitedly and Wendy takes the book from him.

"If we're eating Poison Mushrooms then I want something with more substance. Hmmm...*page flipping* Oooh! This one! Trial Stew: Amazing food made by Zess T. Yields incredible results."

"It does look good, even if it does make you sick till you only have one HP and zero FP, but completely fills Star Power and triples how much you gained for a while. At least the sick part is temporary. Is everyone okay with this?"

The promise of power gets them all eager for it.

"Fine then, Trial Stew it is. Let me see the book and we'll begin the fun part."

Wendy hands the book to me and I look at what is needed to make it. As I do so, I go about the room, grabbing items and putting them down at different counters, all of which is confusing them once I shut the book.

"Okay all, each of you is going to be assigned to make part of this. Station one, Wendy, you'll be making Snow Bunnies. Use these Ice Storms as the base and Turtlely Leafs on half, the other half use Golden Leafs."

"Seems easy enough. But why the different leafs?"

"They have different effects that will help us. Turtley Leaf restores 3 FP and reduces all damage by half. While Golden Leaf replenishes 10 FP and recovers 1 HP."

"Oh...Makes sense."

"Station two, Morton, I need you to grind these Fire Flowers into dust."

"Morton can do that."

"Station three, Ludwig, you'll take the ground Fire Flowers and boil it with the Fire Burst to make it into Spicy Soup."

"It will be an honor, fair maiden."

"Station four, Larry, see the cauldron over there? Your job is to slowly get it heated up nice and hot, but not crazy hot. Okay?"

"Got it."

"Station five, Lemmy, you get to mix the stuff everyone made into this deep bunt pan."

"Why not the cauldron?"

"Because Snow Bunnies and Spicy Soup make Couple's Cake. And Couple's Cake plus Poison Mushrooms make the Trail Stew. It won't work if we just throw everything in as it is now."

"Oooh...I understand now."

"Station six, Roy, you'll be slicing and dicing these Poison Mushrooms into bite-sized chunks."

"Sweet! Ya can count on me, sugar."

"Station seven, Iggy, you're charged with building the Couple's Cake once it comes out of the oven."

"That's fine, I like a good challenge."

"And lastly, station eight goes to you, Jr.. Once the Couple's Cake is done, put it and the cut up Poison Mushrooms into the preheated cauldron. From there, we just stir it all up and wait till it simmers."

"Okay Mama, I won't let you down."

"Glad to hear it. Alright then Team Koopa Kids, let's make this meal!"

They cheer and break off into their respective stations. It feels a little strange to be doing this. To almost command them into performing a task. This must be what teaching feels like. This odd sense of anticipation of a result you expect they can do and pride in understanding that it was you that helped them to achieve this result. And like any decent teacher, I go around to check on their work while offering kind words. Starting with station one, Wendy.

"Very good, Wendy. These look cute and tasty."

"Thanks."

"Why do these two have mismatched ears?"

"They're a couple, like Romeo and Juliet. He came from the Turtley Leafs and her from the Golden Leafs. Their love is forbidden, so to show they care, they swapped ears. Because love can be fought against but not ever completely destroyed."

"Awww...That's beautiful dear. Almost made me cry."

"*giggles* You're silly."

"That I am."

I move to Morton.

"How goes the grinding, Morton?"

"See for yourself. Morton doing a good job."

"Hmmm...This is half. Where's the rest?"

"Morton did it already and gave it to Ludwig."

"Very good. Keep it up."

I pat Morton's head and move on to Ludwig.

"Everything okay on your end?"

"So far so good, fair maiden. I'd be tempted to try such soup if it wouldn't burn my tongue doing so."

"Yeah. I hear one must sip it with a flameproof spoon due to how hot it is."

"Are we really sure we can eat this?"

"The Snow Bunnies take much of the heat away. I assure you, we can eat it."

"I trust you, kind flower. I shall carry on."

"Thank you kindly dear."

Next up, Larry.

"What's up, Larry?"

"Nice and slow, just like you asked."

He bellows softly his own flame breath onto the underbelly of the cauldron.

"Excellent. Well done."

I give the star on the side of head a kiss and he chuckles as I move on to the next station.

"Hi, Lemmy. You ready for your part?"

"Yeah! Can I mash stuff up now?"

"Let's see...Wendy, Morton, Ludwig...Are you done?"

"Snow Bunnies are ready."

"Morton done grinding flowers."

"The soup reaching its dénouement."

"Alright. Wendy, if you'd kindly bring the bunnies. And Ludwig, bring the soup when ready."

They nod. Wendy, with Morton's aid, brings over the Snow Bunnies and Lemmy layers them into the pan. Ludwig comes over moments later with his bubbling pot of Spicy Soup and with my help, we carefully pour the heat in. The amount of steam is something that makes it look like we're making a magic potion.

"Okay Lemmy, your turn."

"Yay!"

With a high-temperature silicone spatula, Lemmy stirs the concoction up till it begins resembling something liken to batter. From here, the pan goes into an oven I preheated while setting things up and will take about ten minutes to bake. We don't want it completely solid, just semisolid, so it's malleable like clay.

"Roy, dear, how are the mushrooms coming along?"

"All cut up and ready for when the cake's done."

"Good, very good. This is going smoothly."

"Is it just me, or does anyone else think it's weird that cake is needed to make stew?"

"Or that Snow Bunnies and Spicy Soup make a cake?"

"Definitely."

"We can question it all we like but it's easier just to go with it. Otherwise, we'll get headaches."

"So how do we kill the time?"

"Mama can tell us a story."

"I guess I can. Anything in mind?"

"Tell us what happened at Peach's party."

They cheer for such a juicy tale but my face goes sour.

"Nothing happened really."

"Ah, come on, sugar."

"Something HAD to have happened."

"You can tell us."

"Pretty please?"

Curse the adorable puppy eyes! My only weakness!

"Okay...I'll only tell you lot this because everyone at the party already knows. *dramatic pause* I gut punched Princess Peach."

Their jaws hit the floor and Roy hugs me tight.

"Sweetheart, that's my girl! I'm so proud of ya!"

"Mama? Why'd you do that?"

"Obviously she had a good reason."

"It had to have been a very good reason for our dear maiden to do something so uncouth as that."

Don't tell them what that witch said, don't tell them what that witch said, don't tell them what that witch said, don't tell them what that witch said, don't tell them what that witch said, don't tell them what that witch said, don't tell them what that witch said, don't tell them what that witch said!

"Morton have a guess"

"What?"

"Morton think the Peach lady was mean to King Dad."

That'll work and is true.

"Was she really?"

"Let's just say...Peach wasn't in the best of moods and was needlessly rude to your father. I then informed her that she was out of line, to which her response was to slap me in the face."

Uttering that causes mixed looks to come to their faces and Roy's grip on me gets very tense.

"She...She hit you?"

"Twice and then shoved me to the ground. Then she said more hurtful things that I will not dare repeat. So I hit her back just once."

"Why that...Spoiled self-centered pink #%*&$!"

"Roy!"

"Who does she think she is?! First, she messes with our people, then our land, then with the old man's heart, and now this?! If I ever see that stupid face of hers I'll...I'll...Argh!"

"Wait...What do you mean by 'your people and land'?"

"My dear flower, do you not know? The Toadstools have been an invasive people for generations. Humans are not native to these lands. When the Toadstools came, they took over the Mushroom Kingdom for its rich land and vast resources. The Toads blindly follow them. They are an oddly subservient race. But the Goombas did not stand for this. They saw this new monarchy for its falsehood and came to call help from other Kingdoms. Wart was their first aid. He heard of their plight in their dreams. When he failed, they came here for our father's power. Little did anyone know is that he would fall for the Princess and this infatuation would lead to him failing in his attempts at claiming the land."

That...That all makes sense now. That's why they were seen as traitors. That's why they have such a deep seeded hatred of humans. Dear god, this plot is so thick no wonder I didn't see it as it was right in my face the whole time!

"Peach's rule has been the most corrupt yet. Before her, they at least stayed in their land. Now Toadstool stuff is popping up all over. Even here. That snotty dame has race tracks made from our former castles. We grew up in those things. Then she takes them and does...That? It's just wrong."

They look so upset, except Roy who is fuming, but I understand why they're upset. The Toadstools put on this image of kindness and peace, but in reality, they came in then took over because they saw an easy mark. Now they are power hungry and corrupt. They think because of who they are that it entitles them to whatever they please. God, now I really wish I had hit her more while I had the chance.

*Ding*

The oven timer goes off and I pry Roy off me long enough to pull the almost complete Couple's Cake out.

"No more talk of Toadstools. Do not let them occupy your thoughts. They are not worth it. Iggy dear..."

"Coming."

I place the cake at Iggy's station and he gets to work without saying another word. But I don't like this energy that the room has now.

"Kids...I know I'm human and from the Mushroom Kingdom, but don't think it means I'm on her side."

"We know that, Lynn lady."

"Yeah. If you were on Peach's side, you'd have backstabbed us ages ago."

"Mama would never do that. Mama loves us. Mama loves Papa. She'd never betray us. Right Mama?"

I can feel the water trying to pool in my eyes.

"Dang it, sweetie. Why do you have to be so cute? *sniffle* It makes my heart overload."

Jr. comes over and hugs my legs.

"I'm sorry Mama. Please don't cry."

I kneel down and hug the loveable Prince.

"I love you, Jr.."

"I love you, Mama."

I nuzzle into his cheek and he giggles before wriggling away. Now my kneeling takes on a more solemn bow as if one were to be knighted.

"I swore loyalty to Bowser on the way to the Mushroom Kingdom. I obey him and all eight of you. I will never betray you. I will never leave you. This is my vow. And it can never be broken. Not even by her or her friends. Do not see me as the human you see, but as the Koopa I'd rather be."

Their little hearts. I can see the love shine in their eyes. Even in Roy's behind his shades. They have not known me for very long, but I have made a lasting impression none the less. I have become the closest thing to a mother figure in their lives. Hearing confirmation of my loyalty and vowing to remain with them allows for certain emotional walls they've made to begin lowering. This is a good start for them to mature.

"Really?"

"So you're for real not leaving us?"

I smile up at them.

"Not a chance. You can't get rid of me that easy."

"So you'll obey us huh?"

Roy sneaks over and snakes his arm around my neck.

"Then my first order is..."

"Before you finish, know that I obey reasonable orders. Not whatever naughty ideas that may or may not be forming in your head right now."

"Dang. Eh...Worth a shot."

"Sometimes it amazes me that we're even related at all, brother."

"You're just mad that I have the guts to say what I want and not dance around it like you."

"Boys...What did I say about fighting?"

"Sugar, we're not fightin'. We're just...uh...Debatin'? Yeah! Debatin'."

"Roy, that's more transparent than Wendy's ice rink."

"Shut it, dork!"

"Lynn!"

"Yes, Iggy?"

"I'm done."

"Oooooh~. Pretty cake."

There's a reason I gave this task to Iggy...The boy is a genius when it comes to working with his hands.

"Can we just eat that instead?"

"Cake is not a meal. Plus, we're almost done. Be a shame to not see this through. Now it's your turn, Jr.."

Jr. and Iggy bring the cake over to Larry, sliding it into the cauldron as Roy drops in the mushrooms. This is now my turn, so with big cooking spoon in hand, I stir this weird food menagerie up while Larry stokes the flame. Thanks to his preheating, it doesn't take long. The smell is the most noticeable thing. This thick savory heat with hints of cool sweetness. It has our mouths watering in minutes.

"Okay sweeties, who wants the first bowel?"

A wave of "Me"s flood the room.

"One at a time, dears. Please?"

"*ahem* Excuse me..."

A different voice has us turn towards the kitchen doors. There stands a gray Shy Guy with a chef's hat, the head cook of the castle. Shy Guys are timid troublemakers and common enemies to Mario. They are recognizable by their masks, which they wear due to their shyness. They were minions of the mischievous Wart at one time. However, their first appearance chronologically had them as members of the Koopa Troop. Shy Guys have been seen working for many other villains, including Smithy, Donkey Kong, Wingo, and Kamek. It can be assumed that Shy Guys have never had a true allegiance.

All Shy Guys wear robes that can be red, pink, blue, light blue, yellow, orange, green, black, gray, or white. They are all fairly short and wear masks with holes on them that represent eyes and a mouth. It is unknown what is behind these masks. Even though Shy Guys appear to be short, squat humanoids, they appear to have skinny stick-like legs under their robes. However, Luigi has seen the face of a Shy Guy without its mask on and was shocked at the sight. Also, in the Luigi's Mansion story, Luigi used the Poltergust 3000 to pull the mask off Shy Guy ghosts. Shy Guys ghosts do not have eyes on their masks, and their faces are pure blackness with two glowing yellow eyes where the mask's eyes would be. It is unknown whether this is what a Shy Guy's face looks like when it is alive. Additionally, in the Color Splash story, a Shy Guy in the Golden Coliseum says that Mario would make a terrible Shy Guy because he has a face, implying that Shy Guys do not have a face. It is also possible that the Shy Guys' so-called "masks" are not masks at all, but rather faces. Also, the Bandit sub-species of Shy Guy have been shown to have the ability to change the expressions on their masks as if they were their actual faces. Spear Guys and Dancing Spear Guys are perfectly capable of moving their mouth holes when chanting and singing, while Boo Guys are shown regularly changing their expressions and blinking. Most recently, some Shy Guys have been shown to yet again be perfectly able to change the expressions on their masks. Really mysterious creatures they are.

"Can we help you, sir?"

"Yes, kind lady. I do hate to bother you all. I know you requested this time, but I'm afraid we need to take back the kitchen."

"But we haven't even gotten to eat yet."

"I do apologize. But Lord Bowser has ordered us to prepare a feast for him and the Princess."

I growl inwardly. No way am I sitting at the same table with that woman. But then I smirk wickedly.

"Fair enough. The kitchen is yours. And please, don't let this wonderful stew go to waste. Be sure the Princess gets a good helping. But do save us some leftovers."

"But Mama..."

"No worries, dearies. The pizza's on me."

Pizza soothes over any hard feelings, though they are still disappointed that they didn't get to try it. I wait till we leave the kitchen area to tell them I aim to make Peach sick with our stew. Not that our cooking is bad, but I doubt her stomach can handle such meals. They look up to my sneakiness for that one. And to be honest, I'm rather proud of it too. Now the hard part...

"For the last time...I'm not rich like your dad, so can we please pick a pizza without going insane?"

"I want alfredo and sausage!"

Wendy shouts while slamming her hands down.

"Two words. Pepperoni. Pineapple. End of story."

Roy digs the Hawaiian style pizza huh? Did not see that coming.

"Anchovies!"

Lemmy is too innocent for his own good sometimes.

"Everything! I'm just so hungry..."

Poor Larry.

"With chocolate!"

Lemmy...No. Just...No.

"Alfredo. Hold the sausage. Add Canadian bacon."

"...Ya mean ham?"

"It's not the same."

"Yes, it is."

Roy makes a good point there Ludwig. You lose that one.

"Morton wants meat lovers with black olives."

Look at you, Morton, getting creative.

"I want Sicilian with bacon and four different kinds of cheese!"

Jr. mixing things up, so far, no winning here.

"So...I'm going to guess...No votes for vegetarian?"

Wow...Iggy likes the same as me.

"Gross!"

"Yuck, what?!"

"Nooooo!"

"Heck no!"

"Anything but that!"

"Even I don't want that..."

"What are we, animals?"

"I'll vote for that."

The seven naysayers shoot me "How could you" looks and Iggy smiles with smug gratefulness.

"What? I like veggies. It's good."

"But Mama..."

"Hold on...I am willing to make a deal for my vote. I can possibly pay for about three pizzas, which will leave me flat broke. But...If you can each chip in about five coins each, then I can get everyone a personal pie plus breadsticks. Do we have a deal?"

There are mumbles of reluctance as they huddle to go over this deal. Though Lemmy comes over to me quickly and puts the coin in my hand.

"I agree to the deal, Mom lady."

"Awww...Thank sweetness."

I pick the tiny Koopling up and plant a big smooch on his cheek. This earns him a bashful blush and the others looking at the scene with envy.

"Here, sugar! I've got coin!"

"Morton have coin too!"

"Me too, Mama!"

"As do I, milady."

"I'll pay up."

"Same."

"If everyone's doing it, I might as well too."

Well, that was easier than I thought.

"Thanks, kiddos. This should be enough to get some drinks too."

I hold Lemmy in one arm, because this cutie is small enough and light enough to do so, and make the call. Some thirty minutes later, we're all dining on some of the most delectable pizza I've known in years. I know I claimed to like veggie, but I opted for supreme at the last moment just to be different. At least their all happy.

"*distant* Oh my god!"

Yells a shrill female voice from somewhere in the castle...And now I'm happy.

"Hehe...Sounds like the Princess got a taste of real cookin'."

"You were right. She wasn't able to stomach it."

"Shame she gets the power boost though."

"Yeah, but so does Papa."

"There's some good news at least."

"Lynn lady...Why you so quiet?"

"Sorry. Just lost in thought."

"About what?"

"Given what time it is...Mario should probably be reaching the first castle by now."

"Sounds about right."

"I just wonder...What the look on his face is going to be when he goes through all that awaits him?"

This gives us pause for thought.

[Meanwhile: in Castle One]

"M-Mario?"

"What-a is it now Luigi?"

"Don't-a you think it's a little odd?"

"What-a is?"

"The castle. It has no power-ups."

"Yeah...That-a is odd. But nothing we can't-a handle. We done it before, we can do it again."

"Thanks again for letting me come along this time, bro."

"Think nothing of it. I get the feeling this isn't going to be easy. So I could use your help."

"Wow, Mario...Thank you."

Castle One is not a partially deep building, but still good enough. Though unlike previous passing's through were never as daunting as this trip. Aside from enemies they knew, there were those that they haven't encountered in ages crept the halls. Things like Phantos lined the walls in disguise only to strike without warning. Ninja Crows ambush from unseen hiding spots. Rexs guard rooms in great numbers. And Mad Pianos clamor for flesh in haunting tunes that forever scar the soul.

Something wasn't right. This was far harder than past challenges. At least the boss was something to look forward to. Bosses were always simple and have a pattern that leads to their weakness. Now more than ever, Mario was grateful that Luigi did come along. He made an excellent distraction before he could sweep things in their favor. Eventually, after much traversing and hardship, they arrived at the door to the castle boss.

"*panting* You...You ready, Mario?"

"*panting* Let's...Let's-a do this, Luigi."

Pushing the doors open, the brothers enter the dark room as the doors shut behind them and knowing the exit that will allow them to continue their journey will only show once the boss is bested or surrenders.

Slowly the fires in dead torches light up with life. Five colorful figures stand with their backs to them, axes in hand. This was new. Only with the Reznors did they ever have to fight more than one opponent in castles. They braced themselves for the worst.

"Seems Bowser was right."

"Even without power-ups, they made it this far."

"A commendable effort, indeed."

"But since they made it here, it means we have to do our job."

"Best give them a proper welcome. Ready?"

The five nod their heads and the Red one turns around.

"We fight for evil!"

The Black one turns around.

"We live for disorder!"

The Green one turns around.

"We like what we do!"

The Pink one turns around.

"We struggle for chaos!"

The Yellow one turns around.

"We are..."

They strike flashy fighting poses before shouting in unison.

"The AXEM RANGERS!"

Mario is in shock but Luigi is understandably confused. He never got to join his brother on the adventure of the Seven Stars. These faces are new and what they intend is unknown.

"Been a long time, hasn't it Mario?"

"Axem Rangers...I thought you were..."

"Dead? You and everyone else thought so. It's what we wanted the world to believe."

"Why?"

"We were dumb teenagers back when we worked for Smithy's Gang. We've learned since then."

"We've trained day and night to get stronger."

"We've made ourselves better warriors for it."

"And it's all thanks to you, Mario."

This caused the hero to gulp.

"You're victory over us fueled us."

"Motivated us."

"It spurred us on."

"And now...We are ready to have our revenge."

"So prepare yourselves! For this is where the Axem Rangers beat the Mario Brothers once and for all!"

Mario and Luigi share looks amongst themselves. This is definitely going to be a challenge.

"Okey-dokey!"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Let's-a go!"

"Fight time!"

The brothers charge towards the eager rangers, a battle of great proportions no doubt is underway. Who is to win, however...That's up to them. Power wins fights. Brains wins battles. But sheer will wins wars.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	14. Night one: Gamer changer

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

I relax with the children for the rest of the afternoon. Being stuffed with pizza and cheesy bread really makes one sleepy. Nine shelled bodies all placed about the room in one way or another either asleep or just about to pass out. Every so often I stir from my own snooze because of the bundle of boys that just HAD to lay with me. Since laying on my back with a mostly empty shell is more trouble than one would think, I lounged on my chest. Roy managed to wriggle himself into my side and prop one of my arms around his neck. Morton took his brother's idea and did the same thing at my other side. Tiny Lemmy makes my head his bed and often nuzzles into my hair. Lastly Jr. takes advantage of this and has nestled himself in the envious spot of the open room under me that was made from the other two propping me up. Surprisingly, none of his spikes really bother me. They're not pointy enough to do any harm and my full weight isn't on them. Of course, this only lasts till nighttime.

"Hey, you little whippersnappers!"

Kammy's voice as a wake-up call is like a cat screeching for having its tail stepped on.

"What do ya want, ya old hag? Can't ya see we're sleepin' here?"

Kammy is unamused by Roy's attitude. Regardless of his current placement or his sleepy state of mind, Kammy approaches the pink bad boy and promptly beans him on his head with her wand. Resulting in him roaring out and jostling all as he attempts to snatch her off her broom, but the old gal floats just out of reach.

"Get down here, ya fossil!"

"I may be old, but I'm not stupid."

"You're face is stupid!"

"Roy..."

My low voice makes him avert his attention from Kammy for now.

"Sorry, sugar."

Morton helps get me up on my yawning feet and I carefully set Lemmy down.

"What's up, Kammy? Aside from you. I doubt you came in just to annoy Roy."

"I came to get the Prince and you. Lord Bowser expects to have you both with him for supper."

My stomach churns at a sudden thought.

"Is Peach joining us at the table?"

"Of course."

I hate predictability that leads me to be right sometimes.

"I'm not going."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said, I'm not going to sit at the same table as that woman."

"He warned me you'd be like this. So he told me to inform you that he wasn't asking. It's an order."

Dang it, Bowser. Using my loyalty to you to your advantage.

"*snarls* Fine. But I make no promises that I won't hit her if she mouths off."

"My, such fiery spirit. Now I understand why my lord calls you spitfire."

I am not a happy camper anymore. I don't want to see Peach. I don't like even thinking about her. But I have to interact with her in some form while Bowser still has a thing for this bitch. Time to play nice.

"Come along, sweetie. Papa is waiting for us."

This is forced. They know this is forced. The smile and pleasant tweet in my voice all come off as fake as a food server telling you that they like your order. Jr. doesn't like this act of mine. It's not his Mama.

"Don't do that, Mama."

"Do what?"

"That. Don't act weird. It's creepy."

From Roy to me, guess Jr. has a radar for things being not normal.

"Sweetie...Sometimes adults put on a false demeanor so that they can handle things that they normally can't if they were themselves."

"That's dumb."

"I know, sometimes adults are dumb. Believe me, I'm doing this so that I don't get in trouble and end up taken away from you. I can't stand Peach. If I don't pretend to be happy...well...It won't be pretty."

"Oh. ...Can I help you so you don't have to pretend?"

"If that's what you want to do, dear, then just keep being your same loveable self. It works wonders."

I ruffle his tuft of soft red hair and he grabs my hand with a chuckle.

"Okay Mama, I won't let you down."

If any of the others were going to speak up with their own words I don't get to hear them. Jr. drags me away quite hastily, much to the annoyance of the Koopalings. I know I felt someone try to paw at me, not sure who, but the who is limited to a handful of guesses really. My money's on Roy.

"Hey! Wait for me!"

Kammy follows the pair. Leaving the seven Koopalings to their own affairs.

"Do you remember when we used to eat with King Dad?"

"Yeah."

"Ever wonder why we don't anymore?"

"Better question...Do ya really wanna be there when sugar goes off on Peach?"

"Morton does!"

"...You worry me sometimes Morton."

He just snickers.

"Give the flower some credit. Her detest for Peach is one thing, but her respect for father is another. If she is willing to be assaulted by the Princess before retaliating, then she can bite her tongue long enough to not, to put it bluntly, kick her royal posterior."

"For once, I agree with ya there, dork. Sweetheart has a long fuse. It takes a lot to set her off."

The past memory made Roy rub his belly plates and Morton looked away from his own guilty memory.

"How soon do you think Peach will push her metaphorical buttons?"

"She is one known for being quite verbal in her attacks. Peach might not last no more than five minutes before the table is flipped and food flies."

"You think they'd actually fight?"

"I've always wanted to study female on female altercations."

"Why?"

"Because girls are unpredictable. Even when you think you know how things will go, they always manage to do something you least suspect."

"That's true. Just look at Wendy."

"You guys are jerks!"

Wendy starts throwing empty boxes and half-eaten crust at her brother as they flee.

[In the dining hall]

This is the most awkward I've been at a table since high school where I'd either sit alone or be forced into groups. Side note, if you remain seated/eating during a food fight even when a full water bottle zooms past your head, people either think you're cool or stupid for not noticing what just happened.

But this...This makes all those past times fall short. I sit in my normal spot, to the side of Bowser's right. Bowser's seated at the table's head. Jr. is across from me. And Peach is placed beside Bowser's left also at the head of the table. Like that's where she's supposed to be. I don't like it. But I guess I can take delight in the fact that she has to be restrained from the waist down in her chair. Try getting out of that, Princess.

"So..."

And point to Bowser for being the one to break the uncomfortable silence.

"How's you're day been, Jr.?"

"Fine. Mama taught us how to make Trail Stew."

That earns me some looks, but I just smile and wave as I sip my water.

"Did she now?"

"Uh-huh. Each of us made part of it. We were going to eat it, but then the chef came in and told us to leave. So we had pizza instead."

"You bought them pizza?"

I pause and look up at him.

"What? They earned a rewarded and I already made the promise. Besides, they helped pay. How else would we have cheesy bread, breadsticks, and soda?"

"It was good!"

I snicker at Jr. excitement. He really is a help to keep me in good spirits.

"So it was you lot that made that dreck..."

And there go my good vibes.

"I thought that tasted foul."

I claw my chair's cushion under the table.

"I apologize, Princess..."

"Thank you."

"Clearly you're not used to cooking that goes beyond sweets."

She shoots me a glare and Bowser rolls his eyes while muttering to himself.

"I thought it was good."

"Thank you, my King."

Peach puts her fork down and smirks.

"Oh, I was right. You two really were faking a relationship at my party."

"If you really think that was fake, then feel free to do so."

"I knew it. Bowser would never pick another girl over me."

"For a Princess, you really seem to be lacking the grace and civility needed when at the dinner table."

"Why you..."

"Ladies!"

Bowser, the voice of reason speaks.

"There's no need to fight. Let's just settle down and enjoy this fine meal."

"I was not fighting. Merely stating facts. Though I shall stop for your sake, my King."

"Peach?"

She huffs and turns her nose up in insult.

"Be nice, Mama Peach. Mamas have to get along for Papa's sake."

I know he calls her Mama...He's always called her that...But this time...This time it bothers me.

"For the last time, I am not your mama. I will never by your mama. And if you call me mama one more time I'll...!"

I stab my fork so hard into my baked potato that it shatters the plate under it.

"You so much as look at him wrong and no one will be able to stop me from unleashing pain on you the likes of which will have you begging for the sweet mercy to be put out of your pathetic misery!"

"How dare you! You should be ashamed of yourself."

"You'd think saying that would make me care, but you'd be wrong...Dead wrong."

"I'd like to see you try."

"*snarling* Don't tempt me."

"Lynsie! Corner! Now!"

Bowser stands up and points me to back of the room, effectively making me feel like a child. I maintain a firm glare on Peach the entire time and do as told.

"Ah, what's the matter, little girl? You mad? I don't know how you were raised, but I was taught to help people in need. And you are in a LOT of need. Oh! Instead of the corner, maybe this very, very bad girl needs a spanking."

I pause and without missing a beat...I say the thing girls like her crumble from.

"You look fat and it's not the dress."

Her face turns bright red and Jr. snickers to himself.

"I'll kill you!"

She actually hurls herself at me, but forgetting she's bound to the chair, she falls over and resembles a fish out of the water. Needless to say, I can't laugh hard enough.

"I said, corner!"

I have no problem with this, my mood is much better now. I hear Bowser help Peach back up before hearing the ominous stomps approach from behind me.

"You're being rather naughty this evening, spitfire."

"It wasn't my intent to be."

"I don't think I've ever heard you so full of malice before. I'm impressed."

"She was about to threaten Jr...She's lucky all I did was issue a warning. And thank you."

"If that's a warning, I'd hate to see you when you're serious."

"I don't like her. I don't trust her. I know you care for her and I want to support you. But she just makes my skin crawl and I want to smash her face in every time I hear her bad mouth you or the family. I know I should be more in control over this, yet I can't help feeling this way. This rage...You deserve better...Her Kingdom isn't worth the disrespect she brings!"

I feel the weight of his large hand on my head and instantly I notice just how much I've been shaking.

"As nice as your heated words are, you need to calm down. If not for yourself, then for Jr...You know how he gets."

I glance over my shoulder to look past him. Jr. is trying to peer past his father's massive bulk to see me, his face showing clear concern and it pains me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so bothersome."

He sighs and pats my head.

"You're not bothersome for caring. You're behaving like the caregiver you are and sticking up for the family. No one can be upset about that. Well, maybe Peach is, but she has to deal with it. Like I've said earlier..."

He leans in by my ear.

"She has no power here."

Just the way he said that...My spine is made trembling and a weird coo tries to sneak out of me, but I suppress it for the most part.

"Now...Do you think you can rejoin us at the table?"

"Yes, my King."

"And you won't lash out even if Peach gets mouthy?"

"I...I can try, but make no promises."

"As long as you try."

He allows me to leave my timeout corner to return once more to the dinner table, much to Jr.'s delight and Peach's disdain.

"Yay! Mama's back! I thought you were in trouble."

"Nope, no trouble, sweetie. Mama just needed to calm down is all."

"Awww...Is the baby done having her temper tantrum?"

"My King..."

"It's fine. Just do your best to ignore her."

"Okay."

Peach is taken back in shock.

"Excuse me? You do remember I'm Princess Peach, right?"

"This is really good. Oh...Crud..."

"What's wrong, Mama?"

"Hello? I'm talking here."

"Seems I broke my plate in my fit. Heh...Good thing this wasn't soup."

"True. Or you'd be cleaning that up right now."

"I know. Still feel bad though."

"Don't ignore me!"

"I've never asked, but what is this table made of? Oak? Pine? Evergreen? Tanooki Tail Tree?"

"That is it!"

She throws her stuffed mushroom at me and it goes splat into my face before slowly falling off. Bowser is stunned and Jr. is unsure whether to laugh or be mad. All I do is take my napkin and wipe my face.

"You know...It's very rude to waste perfectly good food by being childish."

"I'm being rude?! I'm being childish?!"

"Now you're just stating the obvious."

"You...You are without a doubt, the most insufferable poor excuse for a human being I have ever had the displeasure to know!"

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"You are a bi-...!"

"Peach! Shut up!"

Seems Bowser can only take so much and this limit has been reached much to her surprise.

"B-Bowser..."

"Just stop talking already."

"How can you defend her? I am a PRINCESS, and she has thrown mud at my dignity!"

"Well let's just say, your dignity isn't as spotless as you make it out to be."

"W-What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you're not perfect. For too long I've looked at you through rose-colored glasses..."

Jr. puts his hand up and I giggle.

"Not real glasses, sweetie. It's a figure of speech."

His little hand goes back down and Bowser continues.

"Yeah, you're a Princess. But what kind of Princess falls for someone like Mario? At least if you had a crush on some knight, I'd understand, but a plumber?"

"Former plumber, my King. He informed me at the party that they haven't done that job in years."

"Oh for crying out loud...That's the kind of guy you want? Some deadbeat that can't hold a job? I'm a freaking King! Not a Duke, not an Earl, not a Prince...A King! Yet you see yourself with that guy? Yeah...Something ain't right here."

"Mario is a great guy. He'd do anything for me. He risks life and limb for me."

"Because he wants something, dummy."

I had to chime in.

"I'm sorry for butting in, but you can't be that dumb not to see he wants something from you. Heck, you know he fools around with other girls."

"M-Mario loves me."

"Mario's a bad man, Mama Peach."

If Jr. can see it, you know it's super out there.

"Does he really love you? And to be more on the spot, do YOU really love him?"

She opens her mouth, but no words come out. Finally, she is speechless.

"You don't love him, do you? You love what he is. The hero. The one thing I can't be. The people's hero that saves their fair Princess."

"N-No...No! If that's the case, then I'd like Luigi too. And I don't."

"Funny you should mention that. Because that's not what the stories you published tell us."

Her blush is deep.

"What?"

"In several books, that you signed off on, there are two forms of the ending. One with Mario and one with Luigi. While Luigi is portrayed to be another one of your closest friends and often helps Mario rescue you, specific scenes do not differ if it is Mario or Luigi saving you. However individual interaction show that there are no romantic feelings between you two, you both share good chemistry and sometimes your overall friendly behavior occasionally tends to overlap with hints of romantic attraction as well. These story endings where Luigi can be substituted for Mario, your interactions with him are the same as they would be with Mario, such as rewarding him with a kiss. Care to explain this at all? Because it can be seen like you've settled for Mario but wish it was Luigi coming to the rescue."

"Yeah, Mama Peach."

"I know I'd like to hear this."

Now Peach is feeling as awkward as I did when first sitting down at the table. She wants to say something. Anything. But she can't seem to process everything that's going on or the information when it's all dumped on her like this. I guess I can't blame her for that. She's so used to casting her judging gaze on others that she's been blind to her own reflection in the mirror. She doesn't recognize herself, or the thing she has become based on her actions over the years. If anything, this makes me pity her.

"You're the one that's always having to get rescued by such lowly yet okay guys. But why? Why do that to yourself? When you feel protected, you talk a big game because you see yourself as this all-important part. But really, what is your true role? Do you see yourself as valuable because you feel valued by others? Do you really have such a poor self-worth to rely on those you know or believe you know will always come for you? And what of the ones you call friends...Are their feelings real or just another part of the rite of worshiping you? Would anyone really be sad to cry over spilled Peaches?"

That last bit might have been a bit too much for her. She begins to resemble a wilting flower. Her posture droops, her face loses the glow of living life and her eyes water. Oh crap, she's crying. Shit!

"No no no no no no! Don't cry. Please try not to cry. If you cry, all your pretty makeup will run."

"Wow, and I thought I was bad at consoling upset women."

"Not helping!"

"Don't panic, Mama."

"Me? Panicking? I'm not panicking. You'll know when I'm panicking. I start shouting when I panic!"

"You're shouting now!"

"Only because I don't know what to do!"

"*laughs*"

We all stop and now stare at the amused royal.

"Well...At least she's not crying anymore."

"Peach?"

"*giggles* Are you...Are you sure the two of you aren't a couple? *chuckles* Because that's how my mother told me she and my father acted when I was a baby."

Bowser and I look at each other before feigning comical "yeah right" looks.

"Oh yeah. Mama and Papa love each other big time."

Jr.'s comment has me look away with a small blush and Bowser merely rubs the back of his head.

"Sweetie, what did we tell you about blurting things out like that?"

"To ask myself if it's something you and Papa would be okay with."

"And did you do that?"

"Heh heh...I forgot."

Peach giggles and even I have to admit, this feels family-ish yet wrong. Like there's here that's making this odd. Whatever it is, I can't quite put my finger on it and I'm not really up for a brain teaser right now as I stand up from my seat.

"My King, if it's okay, might I be excused? The day's events have left me drained."

"Y-Yeah, sure. Jr., it's bedtime."

"Ah man. But Papa, I want to stay and be with Mama Peach for while."

A sudden sharp pain stings my heart...That...That really hurts.

"You know how you get if you don't get to bed on time. Go with Lynsie."

"But Papa..."

"Go."

"No...It's fine."

Bowser and them look at me funny, guessing my face looks awkward since I'm trying to hide the pain.

"He's a big boy. It's not every day he gets to just hang out with Papa and...Mama Peach."

I think I'm going to puke!

"Are you okay? You look a little green, and not in a good way."

"Yeah...I'm okay. Probably just an upset tummy. No reason to worry."

I try to leave as fast as my weak knees will let me.

"Mama...?"

"Don't stay up too late, sweetie. *wretch* Be good for Papa."

There's a bad taste in my mouth as I leave. Bowser's confused. Jr.'s worried. And Peach...

"Such an odd girl. She has her moments, granted they're few, but is...oh what's the word...Quirky?"

"Spitfire is many things. Loyal, smart, caring, strong...But quirky? Nah. Unique is more like it."

"You really do like her, don't you Bowser?"

"Now who's the quirky one, saying dumb things like that."

"Papa's in denial."

"I am not!"

"Oh, that makes sense."

"I do NOT like her! She's just a girl that works for me. Is it really so weird that I can have females employed here and not have to be attracted to them? This is an equal opportunity kingdom I rule here."

"I don't know..."

Peach sips her tear.

"Are you always so defensive towards your other minions?"

"Yes!"

"Do you always give them fancy dresses?"

"What Kamek does in his free time is none of my business."

"Do you...Um...Got anything else to add, Jr.?"

"Oh! I know! Papa let her sleep in his bed."

"Oh, my!"

Peach blushes lightly as the images that statement pops into her head, but Bowser is redder than pasta sauce and completely flustered.

"I already told you, it wasn't like that, Jr.!"

"Like what, Papa?"

"Yes, Bowser, like what?"

"I...I...You're not helping! I will not have this conversation here! I haven't even gone over such adult matters with him yet."

"I knew it! I knew you were holding back on me, Papa."

"Look, we'll talk about that stuff when you're older. Like...Uh...How old is Larry now?"

"Eighteen."

"...And Lemmy?"

"Twenty."

"When you're as old as Lemmy, then we'll talk about that kind of stuff."

"What?! But that's like forever from now!"

"No buts. *mumbling* I should talk to the other kids too."

"Can I ask Kamek?"

"No, you can't ask Kamek. Just...Just..."

"*giggles* I must say, kidnapping and arguing aside, this has been a most enjoyable evening."

Oh, right, Peach is still here. He had gotten so into it with his son that the object of his desire that's been sitting beside him for so long completely disappeared from his thoughts.

"Perhaps I've misjudged you, Bowser."

His heart began to flutter. Is this for real?

"You...You have?"

"I have."

Is she about to say something positive about him? King Koopa? Please say something nice to me Peach!

"When I first met you, you invaded my Kingdom. You came in, attacked the people, turned them into blocks and other things before taking me away. You've done this for years. And all this time I've seen you as nothing but a cold and cruel beast. But now...Now I see something else."

Okay, Bowser, you can do this. You can ask her what she means without sounding desperate for her approval. You can do this! You are King! You are a badass! Ask her like a man!

"Y-You do?"

You big idiot! You sounded like Jr. when he wants an extra toy for his birthday. No way she'll respect that.

"Yes."

Or maybe I'm wrong.

"...Now I see you as a circus."

Or I was right the first time.

"A circus?"

"You're the ringleader, fire-eater, strongman, and clown all rolled into one spiky package. *laughs*"

Ow...Way to twist the knife after stabbing my heart, Princess. Maybe Lynsie was right about this.

"Papa? Are you okay?"

Great, the boy can see I'm upset. Well...As long as I don't cry he can still see me as cool. But this moment is sure as hell dead. Only one thing to do now.

"Time for bed, son."

Bowser gets up from his chair and goes to his son. Picking the boy up and cradling the tiny Prince in one arm, the other hand is used to grab the back of Peach's chair, effectively ending her laughter.

"Uh...B-Bowser?"

Bowser didn't say a word as he continued making his way out of the dining hall and into the corridors, dragging her chair with him.

"Wait...Where are we going?"

"Didn't you hear Papa? It's bedtime, Mama Peach."

The innocence in Jr.'s voice only adds to her confusion and fear.

"Um...Hey, w-why don't we have some dessert? Nothing like some sweets before bed to give us sweet dreams. Heh heh..."

Still, Bowser remains silent. This only frightens her more, but not Jr.. The boy can sense something is bothers his father and he doesn't like it. But he's also smart enough to know when he feels this sort of vibe coming from his dad that is not the wisest move to bug him about it, unless he wants to see him explode, which is usually funny, but not when like this.

Passing Koopa Troopas fling themselves against the walls to avoid being in the way of their King, but to their dismay, Bowser stops his march and hauls Peach to be in front of him.

"Put her in her room. And double the guards watching her. I'm in no mood for screw-ups."

Bowser's voice is usually deep and intimidating without even trying. But this...His tone was low and forced, rather detached too. It brought a whole new level of scary. And it was enough to not make the Troopas think twice or at all.

"Yes, sir!"

One Troopa dives under the chair to prop it on his shell, another grabs the back of the chair, and the other one holds Peach's legs so she doesn't kick the under guy in the face as they bolt for their lives.

"Wow, Papa. You really scared them."

"Fear is a great motivator. Remember that."

"Okay, Papa."

Okay, now to reassure him that things are okay. The big bad Koopa King held his boy close and nuzzles into his cheek, earning him some giggles.

"Papa...Stop! *laughing* This is embarrassing!"

Reassure son that I'm okay, check. Am I really okay? Not check...Not yet. Continuing to travel down the halls, Bowser stops at his son's room and finds the door slightly open. Cautiously he slowly opens it, the hall lights reveal an overturned and empty shell, it's owner barely visible slumped halfway out of bed. Maybe she really was sick. Tough girl to put up that much of a front just to not admit feeling bad.

"Mama!"

Jr. leaps from his father's hold and she jolts out of bed on full alert till the Prince tackles her down.

"What? What's wrong? You okay sweetie? Are you hurt? Where's Papa?"

Only then does she notice him and her frantic expression becomes a smile before it grows to concern. She can read me like a book, can't she? Damn, I used to have a flawless poker face too. Well, here it comes. The "I told you so"s that women love to throw around. Here's hoping she's gentler than Peach.

"My King...Are you okay?"

"Mama Peach was mean to Papa."

She looks back at Jr. then him and back to Jr. again.

"Tell me what happened once I left."

Jr. climbs on her and whispers in her ear. Her expressions changing with his every word. She...Is she genuinely worried about him?

"*sigh* That's low. Even for her."

"I say Mama Peach should be punished."

"Oh? Heh, and how would you punish her?"

"Hmmm...No sweets for a year!"

"*snicks* Sounds like a plan. How about we talk about it later. Right now it's bedtime. And all big boys are cuddling up in dreamland."

She blows a raspberry on his tummy and places him in bed. She's come out of her shell since being here. The kids have done wonders for that. Then again, they seem to really help her adapt to here. Who'd have thought that one day, someone like her would just appear in his life and make things so complicated yet at the same time, feel so good? Well...Time to make things awkward.

"Lynsie...I need you."

Really brain, way to make me sound like a huge creep. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head.

"What?"

Fix this, you dummy! Think!

"Look...*sigh* I didn't mean it like that. I just...*huff* Don't make this difficult!"

Screw talking. It's not my biggest strong suit anyway and I'm not in the mood for it either. Not giving her much time to think, he picks her up and drapes her over his shoulder. Confusing both her and Jr..

"Papa, where are you taking Mama? I need her to sleep."

"I'm borrowing her for the night. You can use Teddy like before."

"But I don't want Teddy. I want Mama."

"*growls* Jr...Don't make me cross. Not tonight."

Jr. trembled lightly and he feels bad for instilling fear in his boy.

"Sweetie..."

She twists around Bowser's arm to get a view of the Prince on his bed.

"It's going to be alright. I'll help Papa and tomorrow we can do something you want to do."

"*sniffle* Anything?"

"*mumble* As much as I might regret it...*normal* Yes. Anything your heart desires. But you have to sleep and let me help Papa. Okay?"

The young Prince wipes his eyes and nods.

"Okay, Mama."

Lynsie taps Bowser's side and motions over to the mound of stuffed toys. Taking the hint, the great King grabs a large bear and hands it to his son.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get mad. I'm just tired."

"It's okay Papa. Mama will make you feel better. She's a pro at it."

That made Bowser chuckle before tucking his boy in and taking the girl with him as he left the room.

"So...Is it okay to ask how are you feeling?"

"You're not my shrink."

"Never said I was. But I am here for you, you know that. If something's wrong, you can tell me. I'll listen. I want to help."

He doesn't say anything to that. Just letting it sink in.

"We don't have to talk if you don't want to. I won't force anything. But can I ask you one thing?"

"...What?"

"Is it...*pause* Is it wrong of me to feel bad when Jr. calls her...Mama?"

That made him flinch in his steps. She probably wouldn't have noticed it if it weren't for his hold on her got a tad stronger.

"I knew from the beginning he called her that. I just went along with it because it felt like he called all human girls that name. But it's different now. I'm so used to it being for me. They call me mom and it feels good to hear it. *sniffles* Then he called her Mama and it hurt so bad. *sniffling* Is it wrong to feel this way?"

Ah crap, she's going to cry. I have to defuse this bomb quickly and carefully.

"I'm being foolish, aren't I? To have gotten so attached and so quickly. I mean, who am I, really? Just a girl that works for you, their dad. I'm not even the same spices. They'll never really see me as mom. Just a good enough substitution."

"Oh my god, woman! Why are you so depressing?"

"I can't help it! I feel sad!"

"I feel messed up too, but you don't hear me whining about it."

"Then why did you get me away from Jr.? I could've just laid there, helped him sleep, and cry to myself. You didn't have to drag me away."

"Because I don't want to be alone right now! You happy?!"

She's dumbstruck as he kicks his door open and does so again to shut it.

"I just...I want some company. And you're the only one I know that won't judge me for it. So please...Give me this."

"...Can I say your name then? Saying 'my king' all the time feels less personal than I want to be right now."

"That's...That's fine. You've earned the right to by now."

He slowly puts her down and she just stares at him.

"What? Is something on my face?"

She nods and reaches up, softly stroking her hand just under his left eye to wipe away a tear that escaped him without knowing it.

"Tears don't suit you. Good men like you shouldn't have to cry."

He blinks a few times, just to make sure that this was real and not his mind playing tricks on him. Once he was sure though, it nearly made him crumble right there. But he sucked it up and put on a brave face.

"Thank you."

"It's what I do. I see those I care for upset, I do what I can to make them happy."

She...Does she care for me? No...No, she's just being nice. Yet...I guess I can test it. See if it's real.

"Want a drink?"

"Maybe. Depends on the drink."

He wanders over to his bedside and produces a bottle of champagne.

"It's from my private collection. Only the best for the best."

"I don't know. I mean, I'm very flattered. But I've never had stuff like that before. Is it good?"

She's never had...Dear lord this is perfect! One glass of this and she'll be so bubbled that no secret she has will be locked away for long. Soon, it will be you that is the open book, little spitfire. Now to be cool.

"I could ask you the question, what does soda taste like? If you have never tasted something, describing it to you is very challenging. Soda has a consistent taste from bottle to bottle and can to can. That is not true about Champagne. The mixture of the three grapes can vary. The sweetness level can, deliberately, vary across the types of Champagnes. For a very dry Champagne, I might say it is great. You might taste it and say it is sour. A very sweet Champagne will be more like soda. The best shot at describing the taste would be to ask you to take some unflavored sparkling carbonated water, add a little lemon juice and a little bit of sugar. The wine in Champagne will have about 1% acid in it, so the lemon juice is to try to match that. Most Champagnes will also have about .5 to 1% sugar in them. So they won't taste 'sweet', but this little bit of sugar 'smooths' out the taste."

She's shocked and he can't help the proud grin coming to his face.

"Seems for once, it is you who has taught me something new."

"I know a thing or two about stuff I like. Such as a good drink to share with a good friend."

"*giggles* Okay, I yield. There's no way I can say no to you after that. It's too kind."

Got you, spitfire. From the same location, he brings her a rather deep chalice and she eyes him for it.

"What? This isn't planned or anything. I normally drink by myself and since this is your first taste...You can use the cup. I'm not so shy about drinking straight from the bottle anyway."

"You're spoiling me, Bowser. If you were Roy, I'd be questioning this as an attempt to seduce me."

That nearly makes him spill as he pours her share.

"*sigh* I REALLY need to talk to those kids."

"Please do. I know they mean well and their age makes me forget how they really are. But, oh boy, those boys are really growing up faster than they look."

"Yeah. Morton told me about him using magic on you. I didn't see that one coming."

He takes a mouthful of drink.

"He was...I suppose he felt lonely and left out. I gave him attention and when I tried to go, he wasn't ready for it to end. I felt bad for it. He's a sweet boy. But he does seem a little in need of control over some of his emotions."

She swirls the chalice a little before taking a test sip...then another...and another.

"Well?"

"Not bad."

He smirks and sits on his bed.

"The flavor of a Champagne is what it all comes down to. Champagne is characterized based upon the amount of residual sugar that is left in the wine. If sugar content is low, the wine is considered dry and is typically labeled 'brut'. Oddly enough, Champagne with a bit more sugar is labeled 'extra-dry', with Champagne labeled 'sec' containing as much as 1-2% sugar. The flavor of a brut or dry Champagne should be intensely bready with crisp apple and melon characteristics throughout. As one moves to the sweeter side of the spectrum, the Champagne tends to get fruitier and more sugary, making it ideal for pairing with desserts such as cake. Probably why Peach likes it too. Most people prefer to drink dry Champagne when possible, but there is certainly a time and place for sweet variations on the wine."

"Peach drinks?"

She pulls up his desk chair and sits across from him.

"Oh yeah. Don't let her fool you. If she wins a race when we go karting, she requests bottles of the stuff. She'll guzzle champagne by the mouthful, her face gets all red. Freaking adorable really."

"Wow. That woman just keeps getting weirder to me."

She takes another drink and he does the same. Part of him did feel bad he was doing this. The percent of alcohol in champagne is approximately 12.2% which compares to 12.5% for red wine and 18.8% for dessert wine. In essence, drinking a four-ounce glass of champagne is similar to drink a four-ounce glass of wine. Remember that one shot of most liquors is equal to one four-ounce glass of wine. That being said, it must be understood that alcohol that is combined with carbonation can often accelerate the buzz/drunkenness felt by the person consuming the beverage. And that cup is made for his size. Of course, he doesn't expect her to drink it all, but just enough to get her sauced and not hammered.

Some individuals have had a "blackout" drunk experience off champagne or dessert wine yet they can drink several shots of whiskey or gin and not feel the same effects in such a short amount of time. He learned this the hard way when trying to out drink Kammy once. When drinking any type of carbonated alcoholic beverage the fact that it can get you drunk quicker is a thing. While the numbers state that one four-ounce glass of champagne is equal to one shot of liquor it can often seem like the champagne is much stronger. This is something he wanted. But was hoping she wasn't a light foot either.

"I see you kept the rose."

His attention went to the small vase that held the flower in question.

"Oh, that...I was going to burn it since it's something from Waluigi. But, it being a gift from you made it less trashy."

She smiles up at him.

"It really did look better on you. Gave you this suave alluring mystique."

He blushes lightly and takes a drink to hide it.

"So she really called you a circus?"

That brought his mood down.

"Yeah."

"Heh...Her insults are weak. Hell, half of it can be seen as a compliment."

"Huh?"

"You're the ringleader, fire-eater, strongman...You're a King, you breath fire, and are super strong. *giggles* That's just her stating facts in a way that it sounds bad. Oh! And the only way you're a clown is because you're funny. You always make me smile, that's for sure."

And just like that, his mood got better. She was right. He was those things, but Peach made it sound insulting. But Lynsie showed him the truth. How does she do that? Turn negatives into positives so easily. Maybe that's why she was so easy to talk to. Maybe she really was his therapist. Silly girl.

"Lynsie..."

"*drinking* Hmmm?"

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"Bowser, this is me we're talking about. Anything you say or ask stays right here in this room."

Yep, she's my therapist.

"Have you...I don't know...Have you ever been in love before?"

That had her blushing, the color practically smearing her face. Was she getting drunk already?

"Love? No. Can't say I've had the pleasure."

She sounded detached. Even going so far as to cast her eyes into the bubbling drink in her hand.

"Never? Not one person ever?"

She plays her finger to circle the chalice rim.

"I've had my fair share of crushes. What person hasn't? But to know that big powerful four-letter word...No. Not yet."

What did that mean? Not yet?

"Anyone you really like?"

"Why so interested in me all of a sudden?"

Dodge this! But don't sound too forced!

"Just...Just curious is all."

Nailed it! She sighs and looks away. Her hands have stopped moving too.

"Lynsie?"

She pauses before taking a rather long drink. That is never a good sign.

"I don't know. I know Roy, Morton, Ludwig, and maybe Iggy like me. Waluigi likes me, but that doesn't mean much when he flirts with just about every girl he finds attractive. Though that is flattering to think about..."

Bowser found himself glaring at that. He despised Waluigi. Like Wario, Waluigi is on almost as bad terms with Bowser as he is with others. While Bowser, Wario, and Waluigi team up to try and defeat Mario sometimes, they are in conflict more often, such as Bowser blocking the others from destroying his arch-enemy Mario, or Bowser and Waluigi fighting over the Mischief Star Stamp in the third Mario Party. As seen during Fortune Street, Bowser thinks very lowly of Waluigi, being quick to point out Waluigi's bad reputation and appearance. If Waluigi is nice to someone, it's to trick them into a false sense of security. No way was that going to be something he'd allow happen to his spitfire.

"But...I just don't know. I don't know if I like anyone all that much really. I've been too busy taking care of others to really think about myself."

"What about the kids?"

"That's the problem right there. They are KIDS. Iggy told me how Koopas in your brood age slowly. So even though most are twenty, the age of an adult for humans, they are still children in the long run. I can play along with them, let them have their fun, but I can't get involved like that with them. It wouldn't be right. I don't want to hurt their feelings. But..."

"I get it. You're sweet. And that's why you're good at being their caretaker. You care so much that you do all these things for their sake. You'd make one heck of mother to them if you were a Koopa."

What the heck did I just say? Where did that come from? She's going to think I...Wait...Is she smiling?

"You really think so?"

Uh...Just roll with it, don't ask why.

"Yes. I see how you are with them. I can trust you to take care of them like no one else can. You're a wonderful person. And don't think just because Jr. calls Peach mama that it means something more. He can call her mama all day, but by days end, he only sees you as his Mama. There's no replacing you."

Um...How much have I been drinking? Am I drunk now? Explains why I'm saying all this emotional stuff.

"*whimpers* Oh Bowser..."

Lost in her current emotional tipsy state, she drops the chalice, which thanks to being heavy based lands straight up, and rushes to him. He's caught completely off guard as she nearly knocks him back as she hugs him tight. Only after a moment of letting this happen does he feel the little drops of water falling from her eyes.

"L-Lynsie?"

"You have no idea how happy you make me. You are an amazing man. I'm a better person for knowing you. And if there was a way to go back in time, I'd find a way to get to you sooner."

He's blushing big time now. Putting the bottle down on his nightstand, he cups her face to look at him.

"You know I don't like crying."

"I know...But I'm just so happy."

At least she's not depressed anymore. Seeing her like that felt wrong.

"Bowser..."

"Hmmm?"

"Do you...Do you remember back at Peach's party...uh...You gave me that Pick Me Up?"

"Yeah?"

Where is she going with this? Why does she seem nervous?

"Do you remember what...What happened after I drank it?"

To be honest, he didn't. Too much has been on his mind that much of the party had been forgotten.

"Not really. But what are you getting at with th-!?"

His words are cut off by the soft feel of her lips on his and his entire body tenses. She was kissing him. She was drunk kissing him. Yet it didn't feel like she was drunk. There was nothing sloppy about how gentle she was being or how caring this action felt to him. Slowly she pulled back, her face as red as his hair, eyelids heavy in a way that made her look sleepy but awake. And he was stunned. All he could do was stare at her. God that innocent face she's making...It made him want more and that scared him.

But why did this scare him? Why fear this? This girl, one willing to be there for him, to praise him, to take care of his family, and that he himself has grown fond of just unknowingly or not gave him care. Why was that bad? Sure, she's not Peach. But frankly, Peach isn't the best option right now for being on his good side. Hell, at the rate things are going, he and Peach will get married then her sorry butt is going to the dungeon for all he cares. But this girl, his little spitfire...Maybe...Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Bowser..."

The way her voice sweetly rolled his name out...It was the straw that broke his last will of resistance. He came back to her with a kiss of his own as his arms looped around her waist, pulling her to him fully. He feared in the back of his mind that her bubbly trance would break and she'd reject him, but this fear was dashed once the feel of her small hands came to his shoulders before returning the kiss.

She's accepting me. She cares for me. She's kissing me. And she's all mine. My sweet little spitfire.

Her hands, they send shivers throughout him in all the right ways as they trace over him. One travels up the back of his head, combing through his hair while her thumb occasionally rubs his horn. Her other hand moves down and rubs into his chest plastron platelets, making him purr almost growl deep into the kiss.

His hands weren't idle in all this either. One remained on her back, kneading into her and pressing her more against him in ways that had his tail wagging in delight. His other hand found its way to her hair, casting her hair tie away and digs into her scalp the way he knows she likes, causing her to draw out a weary yet blissful moan. That sound, that delicious sound...It made his blood burn to hear it again.

He breaks the kiss to look at her. She's in a haze. Eyes glossed over, face as red as the lava that heats this land and her body is just as warm. Everything about her body language related to his past experiences to say "she wants you" and if he were any drunker, he might have listened to this old call. But he was no weakling to the bubbles in his head, nor was he blind to how, now that they weren't doing anything, she was fighting to stay awake in his arms. He may be the big bad boss, but he knew better than to do something he'd end up regretting. And if she really felt this way about him, he didn't want to ruin any chance of moments like this happening again. He makes a hard choice, but a good one.

"It's bedtime, Lynsie."

She doesn't speak. Merely rubs her face and nods in agreement. Keeping her to him, Bowser stands up and pulls the covers back off the bed, placing her in moments before noticing she's already blacked out.

"Heh...Oh, little spitfire. Part of me is hoping you remember this night. But I know you won't. The bubbles are good at messing with your head. Yet, I'll never forget this."

He leans over her and plants a kiss on her cheek, earning him some weak sleepy coos.

"Thank you, Lynsie. For everything."

A yawn finally leaves his maw and after a few stretches, he removes his shell before climbing into bed with her. Maybe it was the bubbles in his head, or maybe it was all the affection they were just sharing, but big bad Koopa was in a cuddling mood. He, this taller dominate and more masculine guy took this small gentle girl once more into his embrace. Laying on his side, her back to his stomach while also lying on her side, his top arm wrapped around her waist, and his bottom arm snaked under her neck to frame her face while not having it go numb under her. Yep, he was spooning her and he didn't care.

The last thing in Bowser's pleased mind before sleep claimed him was how this was going to play out when they wake up. Maybe she wouldn't freak out. And maybe he could resist his urges. Who knows.

[Meanwhile: in Castle one]

It had been a long and grueling battle. Mario and Luigi are no noobs when it comes to fighting. But the Axem Rangers had come a long way since their first encounter with the red hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. They had trained for this day. They had looked forward to this day. They...were beaten again.

Five bodies lay unconscious on the floor. Mario and Luigi are barely able to stand, not that they wanted to stand anytime soon at least. Battered, bruised, badly beaten, the brothers are quite the sight to see in this current state.

"*exhausted* M-Mario..."

"*exhausted* Y-Yeah Lu...Luigi?"

"Why was that-a...so hard?"

"I...I don't know...Maybe...Maybe Bowser is...*cough* taking this seriously..."

"You okay?"

"Just...need to catch my...breath..."

Luigi sits up and searches his pockets. He doesn't have much on him. Normally they collect more along the way in adventures like this, but it appears that isn't going to be the case this time. Yet he's not one to sit back and watch his brother hurt.

"Mario...Here."

Luigi tosses a scrawny mushroom and Mario weakly catches it.

"Is this...a Wilt Shroom?"

Wilt Shroom: recovers 10 HP for one ally and cannot be used in battle.

"I know it's not much. But..."

"Thanks, bro. I...I don't know what to say."

"Then eat, silly."

Mario chuckles and does just that. While resting, the exit door at the end of the room opened, revealing it has since become dark outside and it was around noon when they got to the castle. If the other six castle were going to be like this, it was not looking good for them.

"Should we keep going?"

"No, not right now. It's too late and too dark. Let's-a sleep this off and heal."

"What about them?"

Mario looks over to the Axem Rangers.

"They'll leave us alone. They did their job and lost. They'll want to not be around when we wake up."

"You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Hey, you think I clear eight lands in a single day? I rush when I can. But sometimes, you just gotta relax. Otherwise, you go nuts and burnout."

"I guess you're right. *yawns* How do you Peach is doing anyway?"

"Knowing Bowser, she's fine. Heck, she's more pampered over there than at home."

Mario stretches and lays flat, using his hat as a pillow.

"What about Lynsie?"

"Who? Bowser's girl? What about her?"

"She really didn't seem to like Peach. You're not worried about her hurting her?"

For that one Mario paused. Bowser was one thing, he loved Peach and crushed all that threatened to harm her. But this new character, Lynsie...She appeared more dangerous as not only did she strike Peach, but Bowser gave her the okay to do so.

"You may have a point there, Luigi. Still...The best thing we can do right now is rest. We'll need all of our strength for this adventure."

"Okay. You know what's best, bro."

Luigi copies his brother, laying down and using his hat as a pillow.

"Goodnight Mario."

"Goodnight Luigi."

"Goodnight Axem Rangers."

They remain silent apart from the occasional groan every now and then. Night swallows up the lands. Ending the day in the sounds of sleep. Heroes and villains, all are equal in dreams. And the one to watch over all that sleeps is the Zeekeeper.

The Zeekeeper is a large bird-like creature with a long beak, three eyes, and skinny legs. His egg-shaped body is adorned with rows of colorful feathers, which change colors as they go down his body - pink at his head, blue near his middle, and green at the base. He also has a small plume of yellow-pink feathers on his head, above his oval white eyes. When dizzied, his eyes show a sequence of expanding red and yellow rings, when he activates the Wakebeam, a third eye is seen at his upper plumes, known as his "Mind Eye".

This bird flies overhead. Dropping the occasional feather to lull even the most seasoned insomniac into the deepest of slumbers. Such is it's duty as guardian of sleep. To make sure that sleep is had and that dreams are protected. To sleep, perchance to dream. To dream, perchance wake to something more.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	15. Day two: Different mechanics, same goal

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Morning came once more to one side of the globe. The Angry Sun, not to be confused with the real one, seemed to be in a better mood as it rose up to join its celestial counterpart. There was something in the air this day. Something uplifting. Something that, despite one Kingdom missing its ruler, had nearly everyone looking forward to the day ahead. At least, this was the feeling for those that had woken up.

Over in the Koopa Kingdom, a human girl was just beginning to stir and the one in pink. Lynsie let out a small yawn. Sleep was amazing. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept so soundly. She had to thank this wonderful bed for giving her such rest. Wait a second...Where did she sleep last night? She tries to look around, but her vision is too blurry. Come to think of it, her head is all dizzy too. Did she sleep too long? And the bed, who's ever it is, why is it...Is it moving?! Slowly her sight came back.

"Uh...Oh my..."

How in the hell did I end up like this? I have no memory beyond some point where I was drinking with Bowser. But this...Bowser is laying on his back, no shell on him, his mouth open and exhaling heated breath like a slumbering boiler furnace. Somehow, I've found myself laying atop his hulking body and one of his hands is draped over my back, slight twitching makes him clutch me a little as if making sure I'm still there.

"*hushed* What the heck happened last night?"

I'm still clothed, that's a good sign. My hair is undone, not bad. So far, this is okay. He's shell-less, normal for a sleeping Koopa. Is he...Oh thank the stars, he's wearing boxers. Wait, are those hearts? Now that's freaking adorable! All in all, not so bad. I mean, it could've been way worse. But this, this is fine. This was no different than when she snuggles Jr. or any of the other kids. This is just Bowser. Yeah! So what if he's my boss? Or that he's in love with that dumb bitch. He needed me and I was here for him. Yeah. Silly Koopa. He's this big bad guy and right now he looks more like a big cuddle bear.

"Heh...Funny. You're cute when like this. Thank god you didn't hear that."

"*snorts*"

"...!"

When he doesn't do anything after a while I sigh a long-held breath. I think I've stayed on for him long enough.

"Okay, big guy. Let me up."

I try to push myself up but his hand is heavy dead weight, I can barely make it on my elbows.

"Geez...Even when you're sleeping you're strong."

I fail to notice a faint smile curve the corners of his maw. I need to get up. If he rolls over I don't even want to think that I might be squashed. Maybe I should try a different approach. Shaking might work if he'd even notice my puny attempts that is. But I must try none the less. So, I put my hand on his chest and try to shake him.

"Rise and shine, big guy."

I do this for a while but to no avail. So much for that plan.

"Why'd you stop?"

I pale at the sound of his voice. The hand on my back begins moving up and down in small circles. His free arm moves to be behind his head and now he's looking right at me.

"That felt nice."

He smiles softly and I blink a few times in uncertainty.

"It...It did?"

"Oh yeah. A little chest massage is a perfect way to wake up. Thanks."

He...He thinks I was massaging him? Oh my god, I'm so weak compared to him that my shaking was nothing more than rubbing!

"Sleep well?"

I'm not really sure how to handle this moment anymore.

"I...Yeah. I slept well. You?"

"Best night I had in years. You are a great sleep aid."

Okay, this feels normal again.

"I think Jr. would agree with you there."

He stretches out with a big yawn and I feel so tiny.

"*yawn* You were amazing last night."

And just like that, it's not normal anymore. What did that mean?! Did something happen? Did I do something? Did he? Did we?! I have so many questions! Apparently, this conflict of questions can be seen playing out on my face and Bowser isn't sure whether it's funny or not.

"Uh...You okay?"

I snap out of this trance and make eye contact with him, causing him to flinch.

"Bowser...What happened last night?"

His cheeks tint in color and he takes the hand from my back off to rub the top of his head as if calming himself down from such a question right off the bat after waking up.

"How much do you remember exactly?"

I sit up on him, straddling his belly and rubbing my temples to relieve the pressure that comes with trying to recall things that are for some reason missing from my brain's archive. Though doing so has me forgetting what this must look like to him. A woman on top of him in such a position. Scandalous!

"I...I remember you brought me here. You weren't feeling good. I wasn't feeling good either. We...We started drinking."

I look over at the floor, the chalice I'd been drinking from is still there and the chair I sat in is spun farther back. Kind of like I got out of it in a hurry.

"Anything else?"

"I think...I think we were talking. About...*groans*"

"Don't try too hard. You'll hurt yourself."

"The kids...I think we said something about the kids."

He nods.

"We did. I plan on talking to them about, um, certain things."

"And...You spoke about the champagne."

"You found my knowledge impressive."

"Then...Then I think we mentioned Peach. *groan* It hurts...It's all blank after that."

My head is throbbing in places I didn't know could hurt. My whimpering gets to him. Now he moves, the hand that once held my back returns and holds me to his chest as he sits up then moves out of bed. I don't question this as he puts me down in the adjacent desk chair.

"Don't move and don't try to remember anything else. I've got what you need."

His wording today is really making me paranoid in all the wrong ways. He goes to his nightstand, opens a drawer and I hear a few things rattle around before he finds what he's looking for, then comes back to me.

"Open your hand."

I do as told. He pops open an orange bottle and drops two pills in my palm.

"It's aspirin. Extra strength."

He bends down and collects the chalice. He gives it a look before offering it to me and I tilt my head.

"Are you serious?"

"Just take a small sip to down the pills. Trust me, you don't want to take them dry."

The need to stop the pain overrides my reluctance to drink. I take the cup and put a small amount in my mouth. The pills go in next and are swallowed in a loud gulp. He was right about not wanting them dry. I shudder at the taste of them and stick my tongue out in disapproval.

"Give it about twenty minutes for it to kick in. You'll feel better soon."

"Thanks."

"Hey, it's what friends are for. Right?"

He pets my head and it earns him my smile. Too bad I'm about to ruin this.

"So...What else happened last night?"

He sighs and steps away to get his shell.

"Nothing happened between us if that's what's bugging you. We drank, we talked, we made each other feel a lot better than when we started. You passed out in the chair and I put you in bed with me because...well..."

He pauses to put his shell on.

"It's nice feeling someone else beside you. Know what I mean?"

Now I feel bad. Poor guy. He's so lonely. I get out of the chair, put the cup on his desk, and go to him. He watches me as I hesitate, I'm so nervous about this, I keep my eyes down and take his hand in both of mine.

"L-Lynsie?"

"Whenever you need someone, it doesn't matter why or for what reason, I just want you to know..."

I shyly look up at his slightly blushing face.

"I'm here for you."

His blush increases and he bites his bottom lip. I don't help matters as I give his arm a supportive hug. He starts trembling and now I'm confused.

"Bowser?"

He opens his mouth but doesn't get the chance to speak as there's a sudden knock on his door.

*knock-knock-knock*

"My Lord? Are you awake yet?"

Kamek's voice hits our ears and Bowser pulls his arm from me before he goes to the door. I use this moment to find my hair tie and get my wild mess of hair back under control as he opens the door.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Ah, good morning, my Lord. I trust you slept...well...?"

Kamek notices me and is understandably confused.

"Slept like a log. Now get the point."

"Um...My Lord...Why is she...?"

Well, this is going to be awkward as hell. Best not stick around to see where this goes. I walk out, slipping right by the two and pat Bowser's arm with a smile.

"I'll see you later, my King. If I don't hurry, Jr. will wake up and go nuts. And no one wants that."

"O-Oh. Sure. You do that."

I continue on my merry way and wave while heading towards the Prince's room. Kamek's jaw is wanting to fall off while another part of him wanted to blast the girl that just innocently left the bedroom of his King.

"You were saying, Kamek?"

"Bowser..."

Uh oh. Kamek dropped the formalities. He only ever did that when upset.

"Twice...This is twice now that she's been in your chamber alone with you."

"It's not like that."

"Why the heck was that girl in there then?!"

Bowser respects Kamek, the guy raised him after all. But no one gives King Koopa attitude.

"I don't have to explain myself or the things I choose to do."

"Bowser, this is serious! It's one thing to go after Princess Peach. At least that one has something to offer that the Kingdom can gain. But her?! That girl is nothing. She doesn't offer the Kingdom anything. She's the only one able to gain anything from fooling around with you! She..."

"Kamek!"

Bowser grabs his father-figure/adviser and brings him inside the room, shutting the door before pinning Kamek to it up at eye level. This causes the old Magikoopa to sweat nervously.

"M-My Lord...?"

"I know you can't stand humans. I can overlook this. They haven't given you a good reason to trust them. But she...Lynsie is different. She's not like Pauline. She's not like Rosalina. She's not like Daisy. And she sure as hell isn't like Peach."

"How do you know?! How can you defend her?!"

"Because she actually cares about me!"

Bowser's voice trembled and Kamek could see his eyes beginning to shine more as water comes to them.

"I...I had my doubts...My suspicions...And last night...Last night I was able to get the truth. She has feelings for me. Me. Of all people. And the worst part is, she doesn't even realize it."

Seeing this emotional pain, Kamek sets aside his pride and goes into fatherhood mode.

"What do you mean, she doesn't realize it? Bowser...Tell me what happened."

The King of the Koopa sighs and lets the Magikoopa down.

"I wanted to know if all her kindness was real. I'm not proud of my method. But I got her to drink some of my champagne."

"You got her drunk?!"

Bowser blushes in embarrassment.

"No! Maybe? Fine, yes, but just enough so that she'd be honest with me."

"So what happened?"

"We got to talking. She was so nice with the things she said. Even I got a little kind towards her. Next thing that happens is she runs into my arms and kisses me."

Kamek smacks his face with his palm.

"Bowser, you can't believe her actions while intoxicated were real. It's the bubbles, not her."

"You don't understand..."

He drops to his knees and covers his face with his hands.

"It wasn't the bubbles. The way she kissed me...It was so sincere. All the bubbles did was give her the courage to do it. And you know what? I have no regrets about kissing her back either."

"You kissed her back?!"

Bowser uncovers his face, his eye swollen with tears ready to pour.

"Kamek...What happened last night made me feel the most love I've felt since Jr. was hatched."

Kamek is unsure how to take this news. His mind conflicted about whether or not to be supportive or upset. Bowser's happiness is his main goal, it's why he follows even his most unreasonable orders. Still, this was a human his pseudo-son was falling to pieces over. Which he did have to admit, this was far from the way Bowser gets for Peach.

"Should...Should I tell her what happened?"

Kamek's thoughts are broken by that question and Bowser's guilt filled eyes.

"Do you think she'll be mad? Ah man, why didn't I just tell her before she left?!"

"Don't tell her!"

Bowser looks at Kamek confused.

"But..."

Kamek puts his hand on Bowser's shoulder reassuringly.

"It's okay. As much as I really, and I mean REALLY, don't approve of this...I don't like seeing you like this. So...*sigh* Here's my advice."

Bowser looked hopeful.

"Don't tell her about the kiss. She doesn't remember it happening, right?"

"Yeah. She doesn't remember any of it."

"Okay. She doesn't know that she has feelings for you. If anything, that silly girl feels affection for you as simple care."

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious, my Lord? She knows you have love for Princess Peach. Even if she does harbor feelings for you, we all know she respects you too much to stop you from going after Peach. Huh, it appears I owe that girl more credit than I give her."

"Then when do I tell her?"

"Never."

"What?!"

"If she does have feelings for you, then let her come to the realization of them. Don't make it feel forced because you tell her she did something that she can't remember."

Bowser growls to himself before sighing.

"I guess you're right. But what should I do then?"

"Let me ask this first...How do you feel about her?"

"Well...Before last night, she'd always make me feel warm. Like, I could look at her and see in those eyes a fire that has me forget she's human. But after last night...*coos* I want to feel that spark again and again nonstop."

Kamek groans at the mushy look that comes to Bowser. But as sickeningly sweet as it is, it did tell the old Magikoopa that his King did appear to have a thing for the children's caretaker.

"And what do you feel about Princess Peach?"

To that, Bowser's expression hardens.

"I love Peach. I have always loved her. I want her to love me...But I know this a pipe dream at best. Peach will never have feelings for me. It's not in her to love anyone but herself. I know that now."

"...Then, what about the marriage?"

"Oh, I'm still marrying her."

"R-Really? What about Lynsie?"

"She'll understand. She knows why I'm doing this. If anything, she might get laugh out of it. Me, marrying Peach only to ruin the fair Princess's reputation by engaging another woman with affection. Ah, to see the look on her pretty face when she realizes her perfect life is destroyed...Absolutely priceless."

Bowser stands up.

"Oh yes...I will be marrying her in spite, solely to take everything from her. If she has the nerve to string me along in her little pity game, then I'll show her the real meaning of a sore loser. No one makes a fool out of me or my family! Once we're made official, that woman is never seeing the light of day again!"

The fire in his heart reigniting.

"All of the Mushroom Kingdom will be mine! The land, the people, everything! There will be no stone left unturned that won't belong to me! And no one, not Peach or Mario, will be able to stop me!"

"Yes! That's the spirit! There's our King we know and love!"

"Bwah hah hah! Thanks, Kamek. I really do enjoy our talks."

"It's a pleasure, my Lord."

"Oh! Uh...Kamek...Can I ask you to help me with a favor?"

"Of course, my King. What is it?"

"Well...Can you help me to talk to the kids about them, uh, maturing into adults?"

Kamek is about to answer but then pauses.

"I beg your pardon?"

Bowser rubs the back of his head nervously.

[Meanwhile: with Lynsie and Jr.]

"Mama, what's this one?"

"No outside help!"

Kammy whacks her wand on Jr.'s desk, making the boy jump in surprise.

"Easy there, Kam-Kam. He's a kid, not a prisoner."

"*mumbles* Sure doesn't feel different on my end."

Kammy glares at the boy as I approach the desk. Today is Jr.'s monthly exam. If he get's a good enough grade, then he is given a reward that reflects it. I know he's hoping for an A. Getting an A allows him to pick the prize while grades lower than A have preselected rewards.

"What's the problem, sweetie?"

"Don't give him the answer."

"I'm not. Geez...Jr.?"

"What's this word mean?"

I look at the paper.

"A Gobblegut resembles a giant serpentine dragon with a row of numerous Bellyache Bulges, these are large pink swellings growing from its body. Its scales have swirl designs, though its underside lacks scales, thus exposing its pink skin. Gobblegut has a few jagged crystals protruding from its head, and it has a large bulbous chin that has numerous scars on it. It also has orange eyes with a demented look to them. A Fiery Gobblegut has several changes to his body from his normal form. First, his skin color is now lava red instead of spring green. Also, the body now radiates lava, burning any that touch it and creating pools of lava when it bites. It is only hurt when his bulges are spun, though the bulges are protected by surrounding fire. Describe in detail the metamorphic process of a Gobblegut transforming into a Fiery Gobblegut."

"Ah, now I get it. Thanks, Mama."

"Heh. No problem, sweetie."

I step back and return to my seat. Kammy circles Jr. a few times to make sure he doesn't cheat before taking a seat near me.

"You coddle that boy too much."

I fold my arms and smirk.

"I prefer to think of it as teaching through tenderness."

"Ever hear of spare the rod and spoil the child? Discipline is necessary for a good upbringing."

"I don't doubt that method. I'm sure it's worked for ages. But it's not something that is always needed."

"Till you have children of your own, let me deal with their disciplinary issues."

"As the caretaker, all matters involving the children are my business."

She gives me a look and I match it.

"You have spunk, girl."

"Thanks. But please don't think I mean to step on your toes. I respect that this is your area of things. I'm only asking to be included in the input, you know? Let my voice be heard even if it falls on deaf ears."

"Fair enough."

She eyes my back.

"Is that the shell Wendy made?"

"It is. I find myself rather attached to it."

"Huh...Looks good."

"Thanks."

She gets up to check on Jr. again.

"You're alright...For a human."

I chuckle.

"You aren't so bad yourself, Kam-Kam."

She cracks a smile and returns to the Prince. This goes on for some time. I occasionally have to help Jr. understand the questions and when Kammy isn't looking for some reason, I point out answers much to Jr.'s delight. Yet once Jr. is done taking his test, Kammy is the one that is to go over it while Jr. and I leave to do other things.

"Do you think I did well on the test?"

"Did you study?"

"Yes."

"Did you remember everything we went over?"

"Yeah."

"Did you remember not to draw mean doodles of Kammy?"

"I...I think so?"

"Then I say you did well."

"Yay!"

Jr. kicks his legs on my shoulders and I laugh as his little hands tickle my neck. The kid really enjoys piggyback rides.

"What did you want for your victory against the test of doom?"

"*snickers* It's a surprise."

I play pout up at him.

"Ah come on. You can't even tell me?"

"Nope. It's a super duper secret."

"You big tease."

He giggles as we come to the rec-room. Larry's been trying to get me to play video games with him, so why not play a couple rounds with the kids and buy Bowser some more free time to try smoothing out Princess Peach's many nasty wrinkles.

Lucky for the two of us, Larry is there to accept this challenge to his reigning title of King of Games. Onlookers include the other Koopalings, minus Ludwig, Wendy, and Roy. Iggy informs us that Wendy always stays out of the room when he plays games because they are "not to her standards". Ludwig is in his room and is finishing off his musical works that Bowser commissioned, apparently, he tends to get lost in his work when he hits "the zone". And Roy...No one could really say where he was or why he was absent from his normal hangout areas.

That worries me, but not too much. Roy is a big boy. He's close to hitting the next stage of maturity for his kind. He can be alone without needing watch. Still...It is odd not having him around. Yet Morton seems to fill in his normal role in the meantime. He delightfully snuggles me from the side as I am locked on the TV screen and using all my nerdy gaming skills to outplay Larry as Jr. cheers on.

The game in question...Super Koopa. What is it like? Think of a Mario video game in reverse. You play as Super Koopa, that is so Bowser in a red cape with a "K" on his chest, and play through levels beating up Marios and Luigis to get the Princess. In the newer versions, the multiplayer allows you to play as Bowser, Jr., any of the Koopalings, or Kamek and Kammy. It's honestly not bad.

Larry plays as himself, no brainer there. I first play as Bowser, just to get a feel for the game, but then I play as Lemmy because nothing is more of a power play than to win with the runt of your family members.

"*grunting* How are you doing that?"

"*giggles* What's wrong, Larry? Can't keep up?"

"Why are you so fast?!"

"Dude, it's not a secret. Every gamer knows to pick characters their good with."

"But you just started!"

"And did you ever check out Lemmy's stats? His speed is maxed out."

Larry growls as I grab the checkpoint again while he's about ten seconds behind me.

"Go, Mama, go!"

"Morton know you can do it."

"Guys, zip it! You're screwing my concentration up!"

"Calm down, Larry. It's just a game."

"And I don't like losing!"

I reach the castle and capture it before Larry this round. This doesn't go well with him as he fumes and rage-quits the game, shutting it off before storming to a chair in the corner to brood.

"Well, that was anticlimactic."

"You were awesome, Mama!"

"Morton knew you would win."

"I don't like winning like that. It's cheap. I demand a rematch!"

Larry answers this by picking up his chair and smashing it against the wall before looking at me.

"Okay...Rematch later? *nervous laugh*"

He glares but nods with a small grin. Note to self, always let Larry win...Always! Larry now sits on the floor and returns to his brooding, his knees bouncing in frustrated annoyance while trying to calm down.

"I thought you played well."

Iggy chimes in.

"Thanks. I just feel bad that I made him so upset."

"Don't take it too personally. He's the youngest of us and still in that stage where testosterone is going nuts in his system. I just fear what things will be like when Lemmy hits that stage."

I picture such a thing and pale.

"Good lord, no. Promise to lock me up if that happens. I don't think I could handle it."

He snickers and Lemmy slowly stealth crawls over before pouncing on me, taking me by surprise.

"Haha! Got you, Lynn mom!"

"*giggles* Oh no! I've been captured! Whatever shall I do? Who will save me from your devious clutches?"

I take the tiny Koopaling in my grasp and toss him up a couple times, making him laugh with glee.

"Hehe...Again! Again!"

"Mama, don't forget me!"

"I'm not, sweetie. Just let Lemmy have a few more, then it's your turn. I only have two hands."

Jr. pouts but nods. I toss Lemmy up higher and higher, earning more excited giggles that make even the iciest of hearts melt. I toss him up one more time and expect to catch him, only to be left hanging as Lemmy is caught in the hand of Roy.

"Hey there, sugar."

"There you are. I was wondering where you disappeared to."

"Awww...Glad to know ya care enough to worry about me."

"Of course, silly boy."

Roy, smooth as ever, puts Lemmy down while Jr. scowls and Morton's grip tightens.

"So, sweetheart, seein' as I've saved ya from little bro's devious clutches...What's my reward gonna be?"

Oh, how I enjoy these little games of ours. They're most enjoyable.

"Why, Roy, my noble tough guy, whatever could you want as a reward for such a harrowing ordeal?"

He grins and kneels down to look me in the eye. Putting a single claw up under my chin to hold my face in place.

"Heh...I know you're teasin' me, sweetheart."

"And what if I am?"

"I like it~."

"Roy..."

Jr. growls, but one hard look and rumble from Roy makes him flinch.

"Just...Don't be so gross with Mama."

Roy merely pats Jr.'s head and looks back at me though now I'm confused. Did I miss something that happened between them?

Since their last encounter, Roy and Jr. have a closer respect for each other, though for Jr. some of that is fear due to underestimating Roy's power. Roy is the kind of guy you have to earn his respect, and while he wouldn't admit it out loud, Jr. had done so by standing up to him plus putting up a pretty decent fight. Jr. had always looked up to the Koopalings, they were older and been his father's favorite kids before he hatched onto the scene. But after some time, Bowser's favoritism towards Jr. had given the boy an "I can do anything because he is MY dad" type of ego and it made him in need of a shell kicking to humble him. He just didn't expect to get a whooping from Roy, Bowser yes, Roy not so much.

"So, tough guy, where were you hiding at?"

"Around."

"Not going to tell me?"

"I might be persuaded to tell ya if ya do a little somethin' for me."

"Like what?"

"Come to my room and I'll show ya~."

He winks and I giggle till Morton shoves Roy back.

"Yo! Ya got somethin' to say, bro?"

Morton snarls and I rub his arm to calm him down.

"Relax, big boy. It's okay. Roy likes to tease. You know that, right?"

Morton rumbles low and keeps eye contact with Roy. Sparks can be felt between them as this stare off intensifies. Morton makes the first move and nuzzles a quick kiss on my cheek before grinning at a very ticked off Roy.

"You cocky little...!"

"Morton not little. Morton big. Very big~."

Oh my god, suppress the laughter. Whatever you do, Lynsie, suppress the laughter! I don't know if Morton meant to make an innuendo or not, but that didn't matter to Roy. Roy tackles Morton as I bust a gut unable to hold it in my giggles and end up getting stuck on my back.

"I don't get it. Do you, Lemmy?"

"Nope. Iggy?"

"I haven't a clue."

I'm too adult for these kids! I know too much! I know too much adult stuff to be around these kids!

*buzz-buzz*

Jr.'s phone vibrates and he looks at it funny.

"Papa?"

That makes everyone stop and stare as he answers the cell phone.

"Hi, Papa. Huh? Yes, I finished my homework. Well...most of it. B-But I did complete my exam! Yes, I took out the garbage. Uh-huh...Um...Alright. Okay, Papa. I'll tell them."

He hangs up and we wait for him to say whatever it is he was told.

"Papa said he wants all of us to go to his study."

"Did he say why?"

"Just that we'll find out when we get there."

"Typical."

I try to get up but can't...I'm turtling.

"Um...A little help?"

Jr. rolls me over and I shake off my embarrassed blush.

"Thanks, dear. Now then...*deep breath* Koopalings, assemble!"

The kids line up and the three that were in their rooms join the fray.

"Bowser is calling us over to his study. We don't know why, but it is safe to guess that it must be important. What with Peach being here and all that. So let's go see what he wants and show him that we can do whatever he asks because we are epic!"

They cheer in hype and we march ourselves over to Bowser's study. I say march, but what it really is me trying to keep up as they run down the halls like they know someone is about to put out some cake. We make it to the study and when I catch up to them we are all sharing the same odd expression. Bowser is sitting awkwardly in his chair, a thick book on his lap, and Kamek standing just as awkwardly beside him.

"Please, come in and shut the door, hu-...I mean, Lynsie."

Oh shit, Kamek used my name! I don't know whether to take that as a good thing or a super bad thing. The kids enter and take a seat at Bowser's feet as I shut the door. I opt for staying by the door. This doesn't really feel like the kind of thing I should stick around for if it gets a certain way. Best be close to the exit just in case. There's an unsettling stillness for a bit till Kamek elbows Bowser's side and he speaks.

"Um...Lynsie?"

"Yes?"

"Could you, I don't know...Wait outside for a bit? This is something more meant for them. You understand, right?"

I bow and sigh with relief.

"Of course. As you wish, my King."

"It's nothing personal! I mean, it is for them. But you..."

"No need to explain, I get it. Family time is family time."

I can't leave the room fast enough and don't see Bowser attempt to say something else to me. I so called it for going to be weird! But now what? Who knows how long they'll be in there. So what shall I do while I wait? Hmmm...Oh! I know! I think I'll visit Princess Peach. Yeah. Nothing can go wrong with this idea. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

[Meanwhile: in Castle Two]

Mario and Luigi have continued their journey to the Koopa Kingdom. They managed to get through Castle One and defeat the Axem Rangers, even if it was a taxing battle. That castle hit them hard. No items. No power-ups. No remorse. The trek for this castle would've probably been their end had they not ran into Nabbit.

This underhanded little rascal likes to steal items from the Toad Houses and runs away with them. If caught, the Toads might repay them with a nice present. But after being foiled in his acts, he's had a slight change of heart...Some of the times anyway. He still stole, but now he stole from those he saw with more than what they needed and if caught, will share the prize. From burglar to hero in the blink of an eye. Not bad work, all things considered.

Luigi managed to snag the bunny bandit and as per his code, the sticky-fingered rabbit offered them the items in his seemingly bottomless bag. This gave the brother the chance to fully heal and properly stock themselves on things they were sure they'll need for the future fights ahead. Still...They did make Nabbit an offer to shadow them and meet up at the end of each castle so they can restock if needed. Why would Nabbit agree to this? Well, it helps that they may have tempted him with stealing whatever he wanted from the defeated castles. With a deal like that, he'd be crazy not to take it.

Now with power-ups, they made their way through Castle Two with more ease than they had with Castle One. This castle seemed less diverse than the other castle, only having three enemy types. Cobrats slither out of tiny spaces and leap from vases. Blow Hards hide in corners and fire Needlenoses at them. Drool Hards hang from the ceiling and drop an unlimited supply of Needlenoses, which bounce around before eventually turning green to yellow to red then explode. Mad Pokeys, Poison Pokeys, and Skellokeys guard different doors that lead to rooms or traps. Big Pokeys and Tryclydes defend the path leading to the main chamber. All the while Fuzzies come and go just to cause annoying trouble.

But all in all, the skills of the brothers and power-ups allowed them to get through with minor scrapes.

"Alright! Now this-a is how it should be. Go in a castle, beat up some minions, enjoy a challenge, then bask in the great victory of a boss being bested."

"Don't-a you think this was a little easy?"

"What do you mean?"

"That-a last castle nearly had us done for. And this-a one...It just...It doesn't feel right."

"You worry too much, Luigi. We're just-a super strong since we got all these items."

"True. But..."

Luigi rubs the back of his head a little.

"Relax, bro. No matter what's behind this-a door, it won't stand a chance against us."

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

Mario tilts his head in puzzlement.

"Why do you sound so down? You're not doubting us, are you?"

"N-No! I know we can do anything if we try hard enough. It's...Well..."

"Luigi, if something's the matter, you can tell me. I'm you're brother. I have your back no matter what."

"Well...Do you ever, I don't-a know...Feel guilty for beating them up?"

Mario is silent.

"Mario?"

But then Mario is quite loud.

"*hearty laughter* Good one bro. That was funny."

This wasn't the response Luigi was hoping to get, so he decided not to push it further and let it end.

"*nervous* Y-Yeah. Thanks, Mario."

They push open the door and enter the seemingly empty room before the door closes behind them. The dead torches come alive and reveal the floor to be deep sand. In fact, they begin to notice that the longer they stay still, the more they start to sink into it. This is not good.

"What is this? Quicksand? Some boss."

"All we have to do is not stay still too long. That's not so bad. Heh...It could be worse. "

"Oh yeah? How?"

As if on cue, there's a rumbling from the walls and ceiling. Out from high up ventilation shafts, numerous different fuzz balls begin pouring in and litter the floor, though due to their light weight they fail to even dent the sand despite their decent size. These balls of furry fluff begin to writhe and group up into collective masses that tether themselves to the walls and ceiling to avoid the sand. Once these amalgamations form, Mario recognizes them and gives a look.

"What?"

"You just had to get me to say it, didn't you?"

"Can we not do this-a right now?"

"Fine, but I won't forget this-a."

"What are those things?"

Mario points to the darker one on the left.

"That-a one is a Fuzzy Horde. It's a group made by a large number of Fuzzies."

"That's a Fuzzy Horde?! Look at 'em all! What a mob scene! It's crazy!"

"Yeah, but it's fine. The Fuzzies come at you all at once and attack in order. No need to freak out about it though, they're pretty weak. If you use good timing to defend, you won't take much damage."

"And that other one?"

Mario points to the right.

"That-a one is Smorg. Smorg is made up of massive hordes of smaller, individual grey Smorgs, and the base is made up of a cluster of magenta Smorg. They're like Fuzzies, but a little tougher."

"It's crazy how those tiny things can create these huge monsters."

"It's all about teamwork with them, something we are very good at. It will attack with weird tentacles. Defeating the tentacles will drop the body's defense, making it easier to attack. The tentacles will regenerate, but use that-a time to deal a ton of damage, okay? It may also take other forms with higher attack powers, so be careful."

"Got it. Will do, bro."

The two masses of creatures lurch into striking position.

"SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORG!"

"If you hit us, we divide! Multiply! Meeeeork! Meork! Multiply! Divide! Repeat! Destroy! We are legion! Come and get it if you can! Nyeah, nyeah!"

The Fuzzy Horde rolls at them like a dark tsunami as the Smorg lashes out with wild tentacle strikes. The castle might have been a walk in the park, but the boss fight appears to be more like a charge into hell. Good thing they stocked up on items with Nabbit because they're so going to need them and more.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	16. Afternoon two: Serious talks are serious

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

I hold my hands behind me and hum to myself as I stroll pleasantly through the halls of this wonderfully toasty castle. The floor is stone cold but heated perfectly thanks to lava flow insulation. Almost makes me want to go barefoot.

Passing work staff smile at my tune, adding to their already chipper moods. I even get to share passing gestures of goodwill to my buddies, the yin-yang boys, it's my nickname for the black and white Minikoopas' I met a while back. Those guys are cool.

After a while though, I do arrive where I recall Peach's room to be, only it's different now. The door has been triple locked. There's a small slot to pass a tray of food through. And two tough guards posted around it. Seems Bowser wasn't kidding about his "not taking any chances" vow with this plan of his.

"Lady Lynsie..."

Part of me flinches thinking it's Morton till I remember he's with Bowser and the others. My attention goes to the Boom Boom and Pom Pom guarding the door.

Boom Booms are Koopas that bear some resemblance to the Koopalings, in that they too have rounded snouts with protruding teeth, padded feet, and thick limbs. However, they differ in that their lower shell covers their entire body, like Koopa Troopas, Lakitus, and other species, unlike Bowser and the Koopalings, whose ribbed bellies are separated from their carapaces by bare scales. Boom Booms usually have spikes on their shells, however, some Boom Booms have smooth, Koopa Troopa-like shells matching Pom Pom's spotted, ladybug-like shell.

Boom Booms had slightly darker coloration than the Koopalings, with yellow, tan and brown scales, and a rare Desert Land Boom Boom was grey. Boom Boom is a Koopa with tan or brown skin, sometimes even yellow. He has long flailing arms and is built like Roy or Morton. He has a rounded snout with two protruding teeth, large legs and padded feet like the Koopalings, and is roughly their height as well, the main difference being the belly being fully covered by the front part of the shell, which is connected with the rear part of the shell. He is also larger than Mario and his hands have visible claws, like the rest of his species. Boom Boom is Bowser's faithful servant. He is a powerhouse with a short-temper, although he can be easily defeated by taking three stomps to the head. Boom Boom can give orders to the Koopa Troop if needed like Bowser can.

Pom Pom is the female counterpart of Boom Boom, though she has a blonde ponytail and a hair tie with a pair of green beads on her head, shorter arms than Boom Boom's, and a smoother and smaller shell with dots similar to that of Buzzy Beetles, while other Koopas have shells with plates and grooves. She has shaped cheeks, a high nose, a low jaw, and deeply curved lips, similar to that of the Koopalings, two large teeth, padded feet and claws like her male counterpart. Unlike the latter, Pom Pom has magenta skin, tan head with red eyes instead of black and pink foot pads instead of light yellow. Her closest resemblance, apart from Boom Boom, is Wendy O. Koopa. This Pom Pom is this Boom Boom's sister and Pom Pom wants to be refined and elegant but is actually prone to losing her temper.

"What brings you over?"

"Lord Bowser didn't mention you'd be stopping by."

This level of respect I have with the people here...I like it.

"That's because he doesn't know. I just had a spur of the moment thought and figured why not see how the royal pain in pink is doing."

"*muffled* I heard that!"

Glad you did, you bitch.

"I'm going to take a guess and say you can't let me inside, right?"

They nod in unison.

"As much as we'd like to..."

"Because we've heard what happened at the party and would love to see that in person!"

"Boom! *cough* What he means is, we'd like to let you in, but everyone has strict orders to not open this door unless Bowser himself says so in person. Sorry."

Smart move.

"No need to be sorry, I get it. Rules are rules. Heh...So...Does everyone know what happened at the party?"

Pom looks away nonchalantly and Boom nods, making me smirk.

"Nice. But just to be clear, I didn't hit her right away...Not that I didn't want to. She hit me before the King gave me the green light to hit back."

"Still, it's a thing in itself that you actually hit her and got away with it."

I rub the back of my head and grin.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Why do I feel so proud about this? It's not that big of a deal. ... Oh who am I kidding, it's awesome!

"Alright, I know I can't go in there. But is there any rule saying I can't lean on it or chat?"

They look at each other and then me.

"I guess that's fine."

"I don't wish to bother you..."

"N-No, you're fine. This job can get boring. So the company is welcomed."

"Cool."

I move to stand between them and lean on the door.

"How are you two doing today? All good?"

"So far, yes."

"Pretty normal day really. How about you? Don't you stay with the Prince?"

"The children are with the King. He requested them for some reason, so I've got some free time for now."

"And you use it chatting with us?"

"Boom! Be nice."

"What? I didn't say anything bad...Did I?"

"Nah, man. You're fine. It's not often I get time from the kids, so I don't really know what to do with myself."

"*muffled* Why not jump out of a window?"

Peach chimes in, apparently been listening in this whole time. I chuckle and back kick the door, the sudden noise seemed to had spooked her as we hear a thud, likely her or something else falling to the floor.

"Princesses should be seen and not heard. Or in your case, just shut up."

The two siblings just look at me like this is something only done in movies. Talking back to a Princess, let alone Peach, it's unheard of. Yet I do it so boldly and without hesitation or remorse. I am a typically respectful soul, but I have a bad side and once you're on it, you will be seared by my fire of loathing.

"*muffled* You wouldn't be so tough if weren't surrounded by all these Koopas. Do you really believe your own hype that much?"

"I am the hype!"

Boom snickers and Pom fights the giggles coming to her as Peach groans. I will admit I do have more confidence in myself since being here. Dare I say, I'm developing my own form of Koopa pride. I like it.

"*muffled* My stars...As if these kidnappings weren't bad enough, you add a new level of annoyance to it all."

"Princess, you're just jealous of my super Koopa swagger."

"*muffled* Oh, you think you're being cute?!"

"Peach, I'm adorable."

She angrily groans and bangs on the door.

"*muffled* Just go away already!"

"And miss out on this? *chuckles* I think not. This is just too darn funny."

"*muffled angry screaming*"

"Oh yes, keep it up. Your anguish sustains me."

I can hear her stomp away from the door and my smile is starting to hurt with how big it's gotten.

"Lady Lynn..."

I look a Boom and his eyes are sparkling.

"If things don't work out with Master Roy, can I give you my phone number?"

Pom berates her sibling and I snicker. I don't know what's worse, how deep my blush is to the point it burns or that I'm beginning to like all this male attention. But it does make me think. How is Roy and the others doing? What is Bowser discussing with them? Why was Kamek there? So many questions.

[Meanwhile: In Bowser's study]

Bowser looked at the eight small faces before him, all of them looking up at him and staring in waiting to find out why they were summoned here. This, however, was not something so easily done. This was a father to child moment he had been dreading. This was...The Talk. Thank god Kamek was here with him or he'd just sit in his chair completely silent, and so Kamek speaks up to get it started.

"You all are probably wondering why you were called here."

"Nah, what was your first clue?"

Roy was not in the mood to just sit around and be talked to. Not when he could be with his girl. Kamek merely sneered and continued.

"Look, it has come to our attention that some of you, not naming names here, have demonstrated certain behavior towards a certain girl that shall also remain nameless."

All eyes glare at Roy instantly and he growls.

"Ah heck no! Y'all can't pin jack on me!"

"Clearly this is about your unhealthy obsession with our dear maiden, brother."

"My unhealthy obsession?! Ya can't lay all blame on me. You too came out and openly admitted to all of us you were gonna try to go after her!"

"At least I'm a gentleman about it. You, on the other hand, are far from subtle in what you want of her."

"Yeah! You're too creepy with Mama."

"I am not a creep!"

"Morton like her too. The Lynn lady is very cuddly and warm."

"And y'all call me the creep."

"Morton not creepy!"

"All of you boys are creepy! She's not even a Koopa, back off already."

Wendy speaks up and now Bowser is less embarrassed but more annoyed.

"Hey!"

He snaps and they all look at their father.

"This isn't about Lynsie. This is about the lot of you. You are all developing and things are changing. *sigh* I've not been looking forward to this, but like it or not, I'm your dad and I have to do my duty."

There is snickering at the uttering of the word 'duty'. This makes Bowser groan and regret doing this. He slaps his hand on the book to get their attention before opening said book and flipping pages till he finds what he needs then looks at them.

"Kids...You know that slit we have that we go to the bathroom from?"

A wave a "Yeah"s sound.

"Well...The thing is...It's...*nervous* Kamek, help me out here?"

"If I can...*ahem* When you get to a certain age, your bodies will begin to act differently."

Iggy raises his hand.

"Are you about to give us 'the talk'?"

Kamek nods and Bowser nervously looks at the floor.

"You're not going to use that whole 'Birds and Bees' talk, are you?"

"No. You're old enough to know the truth."

"So no 'stork talk' either?"

"Oh, the stork is a real thing. It just doesn't happen for us Koopas. We hatch from eggs. It's the Humans that get delivered from storks."

The children "Oooh" in realization but then a new question pops up.

"Wait, if the stork delivers the human babies, where do they come from?"

"The mother gives birth to them. The child is then in the care of doctors to make sure it's healthy while the parents go home and get things ready. Then when the child is determined to be healthy enough, it's then the stork's job to take the child to it's home."

"That...Makes sense?"

"But where do the eggs come from?"

"From females."

Wendy's face reddens and she stands up insulted.

"I do not lay eggs!"

Kamek rolls his eyes.

"No one is saying you do. I'm simply stating that eggs come from females. You don't right now, but when your body reaches a point of adult maturity, you'll be capable of egg making. Still, you won't pop out eggs like some common Birdo. You'll only make eggs if you ever copulate with a male."

She and the others a very confused.

"Copulate?"

"What's that mean?"

Bowser, his face a mixer of embarrassment for this talk and rage for the thought of any guy touching his only daughter, speaks up.

"It means...When a guy and girl really love each other very much..."

"Are they married?"

"Um, they should be. Just let me finish."

"What do you mean 'they should be'?"

"So people can make babies when not married?"

"Yes, but it's not a good thing."

"Why?"

"Because if you're not married and you have a kid, nothing is stopping the person with the least feelings from just leaving and taking responsibility."

"So marriage equals okay with kids?"

"Not always. It all depends on the people involved in the relationship. If there's no love or the love isn't there like it was at the start, then a child isn't going to help things."

"Is that what happened to you?"

The room goes silent. Lemmy's innocence is a real pain sometimes. Bowser's grip on the book tightens, his claws shredding into the cover as he bites his tongue to hold himself back. Thank goodness he managed to get Kamek to be here for this. The old Magikoopa put a hand on Bowser's knee before approaching Lemmy and whacking him on the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You should know better than to say things like that. We don't talk about her. Nor is she part of this talk. This is about you lot. Now zip your lip, or there will be more where that came from."

Lemmy pouts and folds his arms, but does as told.

"Good. My lord, I do believe you were at the part of our *awkward cough*...reproductive system."

Most of the older kids look at their father with disturbed faces, while the younger bunch are confused.

"Father please, I believe I speak on everyone's behalf when I say...For the love of all that's pure, don't!"

"Wow. Somethin' that actually makes even your skin."

"Shut it, Roy. Now's not the time to be funny."

"Who's bein' funny? Ya think I wanna hear any of this?"

"Silence!"

Bowser yells to regain control of the room.

"You're all getting older. Your bodies are changing. You feel weird sometimes and not sure why. You get weird dreams that make you feel even weirder. It all sucks. Puberty sucks when you have no clue it's happening or why. All it really means is that you're getting closer to becoming an adult. Now me telling all of you this doesn't mean you're all going through this. I'm just telling you all this stuff so that you understand things that are going to happen or might happen because of the changes going on inside of you. So let me just explain a few things and hopefully, we can all leave this room knowing we'll never have to go through this again."

He reopens the now slightly messed up book.

"We reptiles generally reproduce normally, a guy and girl make a baby, you get that part. Though some are capable of asexual reproduction, and that means they don't need someone else to make kids."

"Like a Yoshi?"

"Exactly. Now, remember that slit I talked about earlier?"

They nod.

"Well...All reproductive activity occurs through that slit. It's called the cloaca, the single exit/entrance at the base of the tail where waste is also eliminated."

"Wait, wait, hold the phone! Are you sayin' what I think you're sayin'?"

"Yes."

"No way!"

"Does that mean we pee and poop out babies?"

"This is really confusing, Papa."

"Will you just let me explain?! When in moments of passion, the deepest of love, that's when males...*grumble* Guys will...*flustered* Kamek, you say it. I just can't."

"*groan* To make children, a male has to engage a female in physical intimacy. In other words, he puts his..."

[Meanwhile: At Princess Peach's door]

"Okay, I think I got a good one. A Troopa walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich in his hands. 'Bartender, a pint for me and the cheese sandwich', he says to the barman. 'I'm sorry, sir', replies the barman, 'we don't serve food in here."

Boom laughs and Pom groans.

"Really? You tell that story all the time. These are supposed to be funny."

"Oh! I've got a good one!"

I clear my throat.

"A Toad walks into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, 'dang, why are you drinking so fast?'. The Toad says, 'you would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had.'. The bartender asks, 'what do you have?'. The Toad replies as he stands up and makes a dash towards the door, 'empty pockets!'."

I snicker, Boom laughs, and Pom giggles a bit.

"My turn...A Goomba walks into a bar and orders three beers. The bartender brings him the three beers, and the Goomba proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone. He then orders three more and the bartender says, 'Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low.'. The Goomba says, 'you don't understand. I have two brothers, one in a different Kingdom. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we're drinking together.'. The bartender thinks it's a wonderfully sweet tradition, and every week he sets up the Goomba's three beers. Then one week, the Goomba comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, 'knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry you've lost a brother.'. The Goomba replies, 'Oh, my brothers are fine. I just quit drinking.'."

The three of us laugh out loud. Telling jokes has been our way of passing the time and it's been a heck of rib tickler if I do say so myself. Suddenly, our laughter dies at the soft sound on the other side of the door.

"*muffled* Um...I have a joke. If it's okay to join in with you?"

We share looks. Personally, if she's willing to behave and not act like a bitch, then I'm willing to give her a chance at being social with us. Who knows, maybe it'll be good for her to interact with people that aren't trying to kiss her ass. That's my hope at least.

"Sure. Give it a try."

There's silence for a little bit, followed by a calming breath.

"*muffled* A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. He gulps it down, looks into his pocket, and asks for another beer. He chugs that beer looks into his pocket, and asks for another. The man does this a few more times until the bartender asks, 'how come you look in your pocket before asking for more beer?'. The man says, 'because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm going to keep drinking till she looks good enough for me to go home to.'."

Again, there's silence as the joke sets in. Boom is the first to crack and I soon follow, Pom tries to hold back since the joke isn't exactly in good taste for girls.

"*muffled* Really? It was funny?"

"Hehehe...And here I was thinking you didn't have a sense of humor. I've misjudged you there, Peach."

"*muffled* I'll...I thank you."

*distant screaming*

That has my spine chill.

"What was that?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure as heck going to find out. You two stay at your posts."

"Yes, sir!"

I ignore that as they salute and I take off in the direction of the screaming. I hope everything's okay.

[Meanwhile: In Bowser's study]

"Koopas can take many years to reach breeding age, and in many cases, breed every few years rather than annually, or whenever your partner is feeling okay to do so. The gestation period can range from six to ten weeks depending on the type of Koopa. But the incubation period is easier to observe, this typically lasts sometimes as low as forty to as high as one hundred and twenty days. Once that range of time is up, the eggs will either hatch or prove to be duds. The temperature inside the egg can also affect this process. Warmer temperatures speed up development and cooler temperatures slow it down. In some species, temperature determines whether an egg develops into a male or a female. A higher temperature causes a female, a lower temperature causes a male. This is not the case with us, as we have places made for such times and are set to an even temperature to allow the hatchlings to develop as normal as possible."

Bowser shuts the book and looks at the eight youths before him.

"Now then...Any questions?"

He is lost in a sea of mortified faces.

"I thought you did very well, my lord."

Kamek tries to be assuring.

"It had to be done. They needed to understand."

"I don't know. I haven't seen them blink in over ten minutes."

A small hand is suddenly raised up.

"Oh! I have a question!"

Iggy is a curious soul, of course, he has questions about things.

"Yes, Iggy?"

"If humans are mammals and we are reptiles, then doesn't that make our attraction to each other's species doomed from the start?"

This got attention.

"Explain."

"Well, we're dealing with two very different biological bodies here. Mammals are warm-blooded and give birth to live offspring. But reptiles are cold-blooded and our offspring are born in eggs. Two species can only interbreed if they are closely related, usually within the same genus, and at least within the same genetic family. This basically means that they shared an ancestor with each other more recently than with other animals, and thus share much of the same genetic material. Beyond family level, two species cease to share enough genetic material for the egg and sperm to 'recognize' each other, which is why you can't breed animals from different families, let alone different classes. For example, if you tried to breed a dog and a cat, the dog sperm simply wouldn't be able to fertilize the cat egg, and vice-versa. Incidentally, some animals do not need to have the same number of chromosomes to be able to interbreed. For example, horses and donkeys have different numbers of chromosomes and can interbreed to produce mules and hinnies. The difference in chromosome number between the parent species is the reason many hybrids are sterile, as it prevents the animal producing functional reproduction cells, but it does not prevent the existence of the hybrid itself."

"Huh...So what you're saying is, hypothetically speaking, if a Koopa somehow got involved with a human, nothing would happen? Making children wise."

"Yes. Even if there was the tiniest microscopic of chances that the union would work on a genetic level, the odds are so stacked against it that it wouldn't result in anything or by some miracle, an amalgamation hybrid baby might happen but have a short lifespan, as all hybrids tend to have."

"So if Papa tried for a baby with Mama Peach or Mama Lynn..."

"Squirt, don't tick me off right now!"

"Then they can't make babies?"

"In an eggshell, yes, that's correct. Well..."

"Well, what?"

"That's merely stating the basic science of it. I haven't factored in magic."

"So it's possible with magic to crossbreed?"

"Not sure, but the odds get better with it. I mean, if there's a spell to reverse a Dry to come back into living flesh, then there is probably a spell somewhere to ensure genetic fertility among two opposing species types."

The children keep talking amongst themselves as Bowser and Kamek listen in with curious fascination.

"Did you know they were this smart?"

"No, sire. But I'll admit, it's rather impressive that they're figuring this out."

"So...Is there really such a spell?"

"...You're not really thinking what I think you're thinking of doing are you?"

"W-What?! No! I'm just curious. You are my all-knowing mage. It would be a little funny to find out that you don't know something that involves magic."

Kamek knows he's being baited. His pride in his work is his big thing. But darn it if he didn't want to show off. He folded his arms in a cocky fashion and adjusted his glasses.

"Well, my lord, it just so happens that I might know of a spell or two that fit the description Iggy gave."

Kamek smirks to himself when Bowser's eyes widen. Oh yeah, the great mage of the Koopa Kingdom would not be known as one that couldn't pull off any spell no matter how bizarre it sounded. Kamek has powers commonly associated with Magikoopas, including teleportation, creating beings from inanimate objects, pyrokinesis, firing magical blasts from his scepter, summoning enemies and the ability to create multiple copies of himself. However, these are much more powerful than those of a regular Magikoopa, because of his top rank. The evidence of this was best shown the Dream Stone Nightmare where Kamek created an army of Dry Bones surrounding Mario, creates different colored clones of himself with unique properties, and being able to fire a gigantic magic blast with other Magikoopas at a Giant Dreamy Luigi during the battle against Giant Bowser, despite being fatigued from previous battles with Mario and Dreamy Luigi. Kamek is also capable of flying on a broomstick, being the first ever male Magikoopa to display such an ability, since Kammy and other female Magikoopa has been able to do so for far longer. Aside from the aforementioned powers inherent to all Magikoopas, Kamek has powers unique to himself, the most prominent of which is his ability to shrink and grow other beings, including himself, to extreme proportions. Kamek is also capable of psychic powers, such as divination, brainwashing, foreseeing events in the future, and manipulating objects with his mind. These he does without using his scepter, although he does utilize a crystal ball for precognition and divination. He also has the ability to Paperize. Kamek also has some expertise at mechanics, supposedly building the apparent time travel device he and Bowser utilized to go back to kidnap the Seven Star Children; Kamek's ingenuity at mechanics remains as in one story even having him create a vacuum cleaner-like device which can absorb color and emotions. Kamek is also a master at various types of games, pertaining such skills at them that he has been given the coveted title of Game Mage. Although not usually shown, Kamek has superhuman strength. This is revealed many times throughout the story of called Yoshi's Island, Kamek has been able to lift and use a giant magical hammer many times his size to power the bosses with little to no effort. He also has been shown to have significant levels of durability and is capable of enduring lethal situations as he survived being knocked into lava by Giant Bowser and even after being weakened plus being dissolved into ashes. Rumor has it he has used unknown magic to make himself immortal and revitalizes to look younger than he actually is. In summation, he is a man with a very particular set of skills, skills that he has acquired over a very long career. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like Mario and friends.

"You're not just messing with me so you can sound super cool, right? You really know magic like that?"

"My lord, would I lie to you about my own abilities?"

"I suppose you wouldn't. But still..."

"Still what?"

"Why would you even know such spells in the first place?"

To that, Kamek had no answer for. At least, no real answer.

"When you live as long as I have, dear Bowser, you learn truly the oddest of things."

"In any case, it's an interesting thing to know that you know such odd yet intriguing things, Kamek."

Bowser gets up from his chair and the children cease their talking, not knowing if there is more to be heard from their father. After all, this was both a very awkward talk and yet most fascinating one too.

"Well kids, I hope you're all now better informed about your bodies and all that other stuff."

Jr. stands up.

"Papa..."

"Yes, son?"

"This has been very gross and weird."

"Heh...I know. But it's true. Growing up is a confusing and often gross time. But it happens to everyone and there's no avoiding it. You just have to be strong, deal with it till, then after some time, you'll become the fully adult Koopas that will one day rule over this land and world."

They cheer in excitement, looking forward to the future of coming power and pride that will come from their father when he looks on them as the strong adults they know they shall become.

"Now with all this out of the way, who feels like lounging in front of the TV and munching on a jumbo-sized bowel of popcorn?"

"Me!"

"I call center seat!"

"No fair!"

"First one there gets it!"

There's a rush to the door but it doesn't go past it. Once the door is opened, they run straight into the stumbling human that was only seconds late in opening the door herself, resulting in a small crash.

"Ow..."

"Mama!"

I chuckle embarrassed under the pile of children.

"Hi everybody."

We unscramble from the floor to stand up once more.

"So...How was family time?"

"Highly enlightening."

Iggy snickers and it tickles my curiosity.

"Oh? Am I allowed to know what was spoken?"

I see blushes come to several faces and Lemmy laughs giddily.

"We talked about..."

"NO!"

Bowser shouts as he makes it to the doorway. A deep shade of crimson lights his face and now I'm so very confused plus super curious.

"I-I mean...Uh...It's a Koopa related thing. N-No offense to you personally. It's not like we can't trust you with such knowledge because if ever there was a human we'd trust with such information it would be you. But..."

I hold up my hand and smile to end his rambling.

"But...It's a need to know bases and is personal. I get it. No need to panic, my King. I completely understand. So, please...Don't feel so bad about it. Okay?"

My words appear to give the Koopa King some relief, the red of his cheeks dims and a pleasant shine comes to his eyes.

"Anyway..."

Kamek flies over Bowser and the bunch of us to enter the hall.

"All pleasantries aside, this part of the day is over. Now onto other things. And by that I mean, we've got more important things to do. So be a good girl and take care of the young lords."

I just stare at him.

"I don't know whether you're being nice when you say that or just being a jerk. So, I'm going to assume the former and not the latter."

"...Take care, girl."

He floats away and I pick up Jr. as Bowser strolls off with the Koopalings following close behind, except for Roy. That silly boy managed to sneak up behind me and nearly scare me half to death when he creeps up under me to prop me up to straddle his neck while resting on his shoulders, all while Jr. is still in my arms.

"Holy Cractus, Roy! A little warning too much to ask for?!"

He just snickers and holds my legs to his chest before following the others that have looked back at us because of the sheer volume my voice peaked from the surprise.

"Relax, sweet cheeks. I'm just bein' a nice guy and lettin' my girl take a break from bein' on her feet. Besides, it's the best seat in the whole castle."

I roll my eyes at his bold cockiness but let him play the part of a gentleman if that is indeed his wish. Jr. makes a point to annoy him by constantly dropping his tail in Roy's face. And Bowser seems to view the whole thing vexing.

The Koopa King knew his brutish son had a thing for the girl, but only now after going over "The Talk" with his children, did he feel a weight in the pit of his stomach. Was Roy really going to try something with her? If Roy did, would she go along with it? How could he, Bowser, convey his own interest in her while not telling her bluntly or do so in a way that won't hurt Roy? For that matter, even if he did express his interest to her, how can he explain himself for seeking her while marrying Peach?

Argh! Why is it like this?! It shouldn't be this hard, shouldn't be this dark, love should flow easily with no holding back. He has seen others find their match and build something great together, of each other, like two halves fitting perfectly. They achieve great things one by one, always together, and it seems grand. But for him? Love to him is like a stone in his chest that makes his heart hurt. He had known and danced in fires of love before, but they have burned him, leaving him scarred from the flames. Even the idea of letting himself get that vulnerable again makes his chest tighten up painfully. He wanted what a fairytale always made love out to be like. Like nothing can go wrong, the sun always shined bright, a beautiful neverending blooming garden, and a peaceful joy that coats your very soul in bliss...but that's not what he ever got. This was how it always was. The cracks, the faults, the ugly words said when alone with the one he believed he cared for, being angry but falling asleep thinking he loves them, and the thought that if he just tried hard enough then maybe they wouldn't push him away.

But then...This girl came into his castle. This odd but nice girl, she was doing things for him that others didn't. This was his new shot at that fairytale dream. The quiet in the hallway, hoping for her to speak just to hear her voice, even if it's silly small talk. Wishing she'd brush up against him to feel that soft touch and to catch a whiff of her scent that made his heart beat flutter. The smallest things about her that were inconsequential to most now held so much more value to him now that he had these feelings. Kamek told him to keep his mouth shut and let her come to him so long as she feels the same way, but at this rate, he wasn't sure how much time he really had before one of his boys tried to make a move.

Even as they came to rest in the rec-room, Bowser made the popcorn and watched them all flock to her. It made him think of them like cats all crazy for catnip. Heh...Now that's something to picture. All of them as cats. Oh! Maybe he still had some Super Bells or Lucky Bells around here somewhere. He'd bet a ton of coin she'd think he'd be cute if she saw him as Meowser. In his Cat form, he has white and orange fur with brown stripes, similar to a tiger's, a ringed tail, cat ears instead of horns, whiskers, and his button nose is black. Also, his hair is colored red, white, and brown, and his shell appears to become more gray-blue, looking similar to Dry Bowser's but without red gaps. Even his trademark roar becomes different, giving off more of a meow-like sound, and he gets even bigger. Yeah, heh, she'd so like that.

"Something must be funny."

His thoughts are broken by her voice.

"Huh?"

"You're giggling to yourself. Must be something pretty funny you're thinking about."

He blushes faintly and places the food filled bowel down beside the bunch of them.

"Just thinking of what to do later. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to show it to you."

She eyed him a bit, probably thinking about the way he said that; it's a trait he'd come to notice she'd do if she heard something in an odd way. It made her brow scrunch and her eyes appeared larger yet vacant as if looking at something in her mind. In his opinion, it was adorable. But then she comes back and smiles.

"Sure. I'd be delighted."

It was happening again. That lighter than air feeling that made the painful stone in his heart seem to vanish. Would it be weird to grab her and hug her out of the blue? To tell her to please don't go, I need you like you need me? That this is his castle and his family but he'd offer anything for her to be part of it forever? Okay, wow! Now that was too much too soon. No need to scare the poor girl, geez. Man, it's been too long since he'd had these feelings. He really needed to get these feelings in check before his heart bypassed his brain to make his mouth say something so crazy that it would destroy all his plans.

[Meanwhile: In Castle Two]

The exit to the back of the castle opens, fuzzy creatures flee into the surrounding area doing what they can to avoid the balls of fire and ice that are being shot at them. Once the sandy smoke clears, out of the castle steps the Mario Brothers, having claimed victory to yet another obstacle in their path to rescue Princess Peach. They are a bit worse for wear, but in much better shape than they were when dealing with the boss at the first castle. Thank the stars for having those items.

"Yeah, you-a better run! No overgrown dust-bunnies are gonna get the best of Mario!"

To further make it more abundantly clear, Mario uses his fire to char "MARIO WAS HERE" into the castle wall.

"Don't you-a think that's a bit much?"

"So? They tried to kill us. If you-a think I'm-a not gonna tag their stuff..."

"All I'm-a saying is that it's tacky. You're better than that."

Mario rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Fine. I won't tag any more things. Happy?"

Luigi pouts weakly.

"Thanks, bro."

Suddenly, there's rustling in a nearby bush and it gets them on edge. Could it be the Fuzzies and Smorgs again? Did they reassemble? Did they call for backup? Only when a pair of familiar ears pop out of the bush did they relax. Nabbit pops out and waves at them. He is a mysterious purple rabbit with round eyes, long ears, and black limbs. He also wears a white handkerchief with a drawing of a large mouth with sharpened teeth, similar to Bowser Jr.'s mask, as well as orange shoes and white gloves. And behind him is his large bag of stolen goods.

"Geez, Nabbit...Way to give a guy a heart attack."

Nabbit snickers at Luigi.

"Sorry. But when in my line of work, well, you'd understand why I don't like being out in the open."

"Fair enough."

He approaches the brothers and then looks behind them.

"Seems you both got through there in one piece. Good job. Word is, Bowser went the extra mile in loading the castles with the worst of the worst just for you. Kind of flattering if you ask me."

That made Luigi gulp with dread, but Mario didn't seem phased in the slightest.

"Any word as to 'who' these worst of the worst are?"

"No. I don't know anything. At least...Not yet."

"What do you-a mean?"

"Heh...I have a reputation to protect, you know. Doing you this favor with my stuff is one deal. Getting you info is a whole different thing. And I don't work for free if you know what I mean."

They shoot the rabbit thief shifty looks.

"Are you-a..."

"Are you-a really blackmailing us?"

Nabbit puts one arm up in defense, the other keeps its vice grip on the bag.

"Of course not. I'm extorting you. There's a difference."

Mario glares and Luigi groans, but Nabbit just smiles, not that it can be seen that is.

"Look...The way I see it, you both still have six more castles to get through and that's counting Bowser's. You're gonna need to know what you're dealing with if you want to get to the Princess in time."

That got their attention.

"What do you, get there in time?"

"You don't know? Well, to be fair, it's not like you would. Too busy being lost in fights in dangerous castles..."

"Cut the chit-chat, Nabbit. Get to the point already."

Nabbit rolls his eyes at Mario. Then again, he expected nothing less from the hero in red. Nabbit lives somewhere called Secret Island and spends all his time studying Mario, which is just...weird...but it does give him an advantage when dealing with the man. He knows when and how to string him along.

"Fine...Talk in the shadows is that Bowser is planning on marrying Princess Peach."

Luigi pales but Mario sighs.

"Again? This is like, the sixth or seventh time she's been forced to the altar."

"Are we counting that time when Booster tried to marry her?"

"Yes."

"And that time with Count Bleck marrying her to Bowser to make the Chaos Heart?"

"Yes! And that wasn't real. He's not a priest."

"But...Then why did the Chaos Heart form?"

"It wasn't real! And just to be safe, she had it annulled!"

"Oh...Then this is the sixth time."

Mario slaps his face with his palm.

"Nice of you-a to be keeping score, bro."

"Thanks!"

Luigi, being immune to sarcasm since forever.

"Anyway..."

Nabbit gets their attention again.

"While there's no news of a set date, you know how Bowser is. He'll do it as soon as the mood strikes him. So with that in mind...Are you really sure you have the time to waste just blindly heading into castle after castle?"

As much as they hated to admit it, Nabbit had a point. Bowser, from their perspective, was prone to acting first before doing any real thinking. Sure, he'd have a basic plan made, but nothing so elaborate or with contingencies like this current plot had been. If this was really him taking them seriously, then they'd have to do the same before the worst thing to happen happened again...even if Mario denies it.

"Fine. How much do you-a want?"

"Not much. Just enough to make up for this venture. Seeing as I'm losing the most by helping you guys."

"What do you-a...?"

"You said I could loot the castles in exchange for supplying you with the things you need. But do you know just how many things I found in Castle One? Go one. Take a wild guess."

Luigi began to sweat yet Mario only folded his arms in building annoyance.

"None."

"Exactly! I found none! Zilch, zip, zero, nada! You knew I'd find nothing and lied to my face!"

"How did you-a find out so quickly?"

"I'm Nabbit. I'm fast. Faster than you. That's all you need to know."

"How much do you-a want, Nabbit?"

Mario's attitude only made Nabbit's eye twitch before pointing his finger at them angrily.

"Half! I want half!"

"H-Half? Half of what?"

"You get coin while doing these rescues, yes? And you split it between the two of you? I want half of each of your halves!"

"That's garbage!"

"And using me to save your dumb girlfriend isn't it?"

"She is not..."

"I don't freaking care! I don't care who gets the girl, who she is, why any of you care, none of it! I do what I do because it's simple and it helps me. This? All this crud right here? No, I ain't dealing with stuff like this for free. I'm not a charity! So you either pay the bunny or lose the girl. Your move."

Mario glares.

"I'll pay."

Luigi agrees without hesitation and Mario isn't happy.

"What are you-a doing?"

"I'm-a doing what is right. It wasn't nice to trick him and we shouldn't waste time getting to Peach."

"Unbelievable...Do you-a know how much our bills are? Not to mention taxes..."

"Yeah, I do. Because I'm-a the one that pays them. You're the one that waits till we get 'final notices' before paying for anything. That's how you-a lost your castle."

"I didn't like it anyway. Once Wario put his stink in it, it was never the same."

"I put out a second mortgage on our house to get-a that thing!"

"Why are you-a so bitter? We still have the house. And you-a have how many mansions now?"

"That's not the point! I didn't pay for those, they were given to me, and I had to rescue you-a from them!"

"You-a didn't rescue me. I was just waiting for the perfect time to escape."

"You-a were trapped in paintings by King Boo! You-a couldn't escape!"

"So says you-a. And now we'll never know, will we?"

Luigi glares and goes over to a now very awkward feeling Nabbit.

"I'm-a going to pay you-a. Can you-a at least help me?"

"Uh...Yeah. As long as you really mean it, then we're good."

Luigi nods and offers his hand to Nabbit who nervously shakes it.

"*hushed* There's a village not too far from here. If you keep following the trail, you'll find it. I'll meet you in the back of the cantina."

Nabbit looks back at Mario.

"*hushed* Bring him once he agrees to pay. Otherwise, come alone."

They let their hands go and Nabbit takes off in a flash, leaving the brothers amongst themselves...Till Luigi begins walking away.

"Where do you-a think you're going?"

"I'm-a gonna save Peach."

"By yourself?"

"If I have to."

Mario scoffs but Luigi just keeps going, ignoring his brother's spitefulness. Mario remained where he stood. Luigi can't do jack without him. That wuss won't last in these difficult castles without him. Damn it...Why is he always covering for him? One of these days, Luigi needs to freaking grow up. Mario mentally kicks himself and slowly trudges after him. He's not in the mood to catch up just yet. Nah, he'll let the big baby take lead and see just how messed up being the "Hero" really is.

Luigi felt good. He had stood up to Mario, all be it not in a way he was hoping to ever do it for, but he had done so none the less. And it felt amazing! That Lynsie girl was right. Why did he ever think he couldn't be as good as Mario? If he wasn't around, then Mario would be lost. He'd have nowhere to live, no food on the table, none of it. His butt would still be stuck in a painting if it weren't for him and he has the nerve to dismiss it like it was nothing? Well, forget him. It's time to shine Green Thunder!

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	17. Evening two: Being catty

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The afternoon to evening is rather pleasant. I consider this to be the closest to family time as I've gotten with the Royals of the Koopa Kingdom. Just the ten of us, lounging in front of a TV, snacking from a huge thing of popcorn, and pointing things out in the movie that are too dumb or make no sense to how it plays out. Who would've guessed that Wendy hated forced romance? I thought I hated it, but she is on a whole other level.

"This movie is absolute garbage!"

"Wendy, calm down."

"Yeah, it's only a movie."

"Only a movie?! It's things like that that allow these types of things to happen! When a romantic subplot is tacked onto a work with little relation to the overall story, it ruins the flow of the entire story. Especially blatant when the setting or premise of the plot leaves little room for romance, such as after the Apocalypse or in the land of racing cars and guns. Hello? You're in the middle of some very dangerous stuff here, stop trying to hook up with that mildly attractive stranger, and make sure you don't get yourself killed!"

"Chill, dear. The reasons behind this are understandable. Love is often quoted to be universal, so directors and producers want to cater to the largest demographic possible. What better to draw females to theaters than with a few tender scenes inserted here and there in an action or disaster movie? Or to titillate the males in the audience with a Green-Skinned Space Babe hanging around the hero? Or vice versa? Meanwhile, more cynical voices will claim that the romance is merely there to make absolutely sure that audience knows what canon sexuality the given character has. Homo- and bisexuality still remain somewhat controversial subjects in this day and age, so establishing that a character is in a relationship with the opposite or same sex is sometimes used as a more roundabout way of enforcing certain demographics."

"No! That doesn't mean it works! The romance subplot itself is shallow and underdeveloped, existing only because the audience expects the hero to have a healthy love life. In fact, if the romance was removed entirely, it would barely leave a ripple in the overall plot quality. The love interest is nothing more than a bland, forgettable Satellite Character, and may even be ignored or replaced by another love interest in a sequel. I will admit that sometimes, and I mean that in the most microscopic way, sometimes it works, but even then, it'll still have the 'obligatory romance' stamped on it because the mere presence of a lone hero with the token female is enough for the audience to anticipate romantic tension. Stuff like this can become a Romantic Plot Tumor and it threatens to overwhelm the main plot. Often added in an adaptation by making a minor character promoted to Love Interest. It's just bad scripting."

She gets up and starts storming away.

"Where are you going, Wendy?"

"I'm going to my room! I can't sit there and watch that...that...Argh!"

She leaves and I make a mental note that she is scary when mad.

"Eh, she has a good point. Movies these days really shove love plots into movies that don't need them. One minute you're immersed in the story, the next, you're wondering why the heck these two strangers that barely know each other for longer than ten minutes suddenly want to make out and more."

"Weird. I thought ya girls like love stories."

"If it's done right, then it's okay. But for me personally, no, it's not really the reason why I watch a movie. I like action, mystery, horror, and comedy. Mostly, I like it best when the movie makes me think. If it gets my interest then I want to know more. That's the key to getting me to really like anything."

I try to ignore the few hushed mutterings of "Oh really?", partly because I walked right into that and I don't want to acknowledge it. Though there's a difference between me ignoring it and them totally using it against me to learn even more.

"So what kind of things do you like, fair maiden?"

"You know...stuff and junk."

Ah crap, I answered. Now the game of twenty questions begins...Make that, a ton of questions. Can't say I wasn't expecting it. I don't talk about myself. I'm just surprised it took this long for them to ask.

"What did you do before joining us, and how long were you doing it?"

"Not much. Kept to myself. Made coin doing odd jobs and favors. Pretty boring really."

"What's your favorite place in the entire world?"

"I've only ever been in the Mushroom Kingdom and here. Out of those two, I pick here.

"What really makes you laugh?"

"Um...Depends on the moment really."

This all feels awkward, so I try to keep my responses short and simple.

"Are there any foods you absolutely hate?"

"Sauerkraut."

"What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?"

"*snicker* Sleeping."

"What was your family like growing up?"

To that one I pause.

"...I don't want to talk about it."

That don't bode well for some, a touchy subject is best avoided. Unless you're all too innocent Lemmy.

"How come?"

"It's not the time to talk about that, Lemmy."

"Why?"

"Please, stop."

"But..."

Bowser taps on Lemmy's shoulder and the look given puts an end to the question...for now at least.

"What were you like as a kid?"

"Pretty much the same as now, only more active."

"What should we know about you that we would never think to ask about?"

"If you have to ask, you will never know. If you know, you need only to ask."

"What does that mean?"

"Suppose you have to ask a question or want a solution to your problem, then you will not know which person will be right to give you the useful solution. And, you will ask it to many people and all their suggestions could confuse you instead of giving right solution. But, when you know a solution to a problem, you will need someone to approach you with the problem, then only you can give him your best solution. Much like how a doctor can't treat a patient without knowing the illness."

"Makes sense."

"What type of music do you like?"

"Rock, classical, alternative, metal, instrumental, orchestra, punk, pop, electronic, dubstep, and techno."

"Are you more of a cat or a dog person?"

"I'm a all animal person."

"Yes!"

All eyes look up at a now very embarrassed Bowser.

"Um...I just...It's about that thing I asked you about from before. The thing I wanted to show you later."

"Oh. So it's about a type of animal? Neat!"

He breathes a sigh of relief and the questions keep coming.

"What is your absolute favorite food?"

"Not sure. There are a lot of foods I really like, but I can't pick a single one. Though I have never had a bad thing to say about seafood."

"What's your biggest pet peeve?"

"Blatant stupidity and having to repeat myself.

"What's your biggest pet peeve?"

I grab Roy and put him in a playful headlock before giving him a nuggie.

"Okay, okay! I take it back! I take it back!"

"Naughty boy, trying to mess with me."

"Ya know ya like it."

I chuckle and nuzzle his head before letting him go.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"I have an older brother and a younger sister."

"Does your family still live in your hometown?"

I pause again.

"...Honestly...I have no clue. I moved to Petal Meadows and pretty much dropped all contact. Originally, I come from Rose Town. A quaint little place where the places of interest are the shop and Inn. It is home to a Gardener that has a truly magical way with plants. The Toads of Rose Town all have striped mushroom caps with a large circle directly on top, making their caps appear like target boards. This is fitting, considering what happened to them during the attack by the Smithy Gang. Arrows were fired at the town by Bowyer. These arrows contain a toxin that paralyzed anyone unfortunate enough to be struck by one, and any inhabitants outside of a house were frozen in place."

"Why?"

"Reasons."

"What's something you've been really proud of lately?"

"Standing up for what I believe in."

"And what's that?"

"You guys."

"Awwwww...!"

I get so much love for that.

"What's something you're bad at?

"I can't color very well. And by that, I mean I can't keep inside the lines. I'm also not very good at drawing humans. Other things, yes. People, not so much."

"What fact about you would surprise us the most?"

"Hmmm...I've nearly died a couple times growing up."

That made things silent for a while, but then...

"Do you consider yourself spontaneous or a planner?"

"Planner."

"What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?"

"The first time I decided to ditch school."

"First?"

"I can't recall how many times I did it."

"Oooooh, Mama's a bad girl."

"That's hot~."

"Down boy."

Bowser nudges Roy with his foot.

"How would your best friends describe you?"

"I don't know. Jr, how would you describe me?"

Jr.'s eyes light up and he hugs me tight.

"Mama is awesome! *giggles*"

I snuggle the sweet boy and kiss his cheek.

"Do you prefer salty snacks or dessert?"

"Depends on the mood, but I think sweets win that battle."

"What are some words of wisdom you can give yourself or others?"

"I know who I am. I am happy with who I am. Nothing anyone else says about me matters. The only words about myself that matter are my own. So don't let someone else's hate try to stop you from doing what you want. Every time you go out there to do something, you may wonder if you can do it. There's never guaranteed success. There's always going to be someone out there that will try to stop you. But that doesn't mean you have to give up. If you fall, get back up, and keep trying. So never give up and never surrender."

"That...That was beautiful."

"I try."

"What has been your greatest achievement so far?"

"Making Mario look foolish by stealing his girl right in front of him."

"What is one skill you wish you could be better at?"

"I'm not sure. But if I picked one at random...Dancing. I've never danced, nor do I have a clue how."

"I'd be honored to help teach you, dear flower."

"Thanks."

"In one word, how would you describe yourself?"

"One word? Hmmm...Me."

"What quality for you is an automatic 'no way' when pursuing someone in a relationship?"

I give them a funny look.

"That's a rather oddly specific question."

"It's just a question. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

"But if you can answer it, that would be very cool of ya to do, sugar."

"Heh...Fine. Never had to actually think of such things before. But...I guess a bad personality. By that I mean, if they come off as fake or genuinely hurtful. Like, if the guy makes himself out to be all good in public but behind closed doors, he's a monster. That is my 'no way' quality."

"What do you most look for in a partner?"

"Personality. If I can't get along with the guy, there's no reason to try."

"What do you find most attractive in a potential partner?"

"Guys...This is starting to get really weird."

"Again, it's just a question and you don't have to answer."

"And again, I've never had to think about this sort of stuff. I guess...I'm not really sure. Any feelings I've had for someone never really went out of the 'friend zone', so I'm not entirely sure."

"But what makes you form a crush in the first place?"

I shrug.

"Like I said before, I like personality. If it's good enough to make me notice, I think that can make me interested more. Doesn't hurt if the guy looks good either. But I'm not one to judge based on looks."

"What would be a perfect day for you?"

"I'll let you know when that happens."

"For what in your life do you feel most grateful for?"

"Knowing all of you."

"Morton feels the same way!"

Morton pulls me into his arms and I giggle at him.

"Must be cuddle time, right big guy?"

He nods, nuzzling into my shoulder and Roy shoots him a look to which Morton counters with one of his own.

"Ya wanna fight, bro? 'Cause I'll beat the snot out of ya."

"Morton would like to see you try."

"Can you guys not fight over me? It's a real mood killer."

"I have to agree with the fair maiden."

"Thank you, Ludwig."

"Because clearly, her desire is for neither of you."

"Ludwig, no...Just...No."

"Worry not, young Jr, I mean no ill."

"Nope! Not dealing with this..."

I get out of all the holds and stand up.

"Mama?"

"No. This has gotten way too uncomfortable. I'm done for the day."

I aim to stroll out the room like Wendy did, but hands grab at my ankles.

"Sugar, hold up!"

"Lynn lady no go!"

My tolerance and patience are running thin for all this while in my current mood.

"Look...I can deal with all the affection. It's cute. But I'm drawing the line here. All these questions and the actions that have lead up to them, it's too much."

"But we don't mean to..."

"Kids..."

Now Bowser gets up and while part of me is grateful for him stepping in, the other part of me is annoyed that he thinks he needs to help me.

"Just because we talked about stuff, doesn't mean you have to focus solely on her. There are other girls in this big crazy world you can go after."

"Excuse me?"

I am now a very unhappy camper.

"What?"

"You. Me. Outside. Talk. Now."

My tone is less than pleasant as I storm out of the room, this time with no one attempting to stop me.

"Oooooh...You're in trouble."

"Shut it!"

Bowser straightens himself to regain composure before exiting the room. Of course, the children all rush to door and press their heads as close to it as possible. No way in heck were they missing this.

"Okay, I'll bite...What's wrong?"

"I know I said I wouldn't ask, but now, I'm asking. What did you talk about with the kids?"

"It's nothing you have to be concerned about."

"Damn it, Bowser, I'm being serious! Now tell me!"

He flinched. Her fiery temper was rare so he had yet to get used to when it flared up. But he was not one to be barked orders at, especially by no girl...even if he did find such strength in a woman appealing.

"You forget your place, little spitfire. I give orders, not take them."

"Heh...You forget something, my King."

"What's that?"

"I don't care who I have to yell at to get some darn answers if it's about the kids!"

He stands his ground but the look he has bothers me.

"Are you alright?"

I was expecting him to be angry, to lash me verbally and tear me down for daring to raise my voice. What I'm not expecting is this sudden concern. That's when I notice the shaking. My limbs are trembling. I hold myself and look away from him.

"Lynsie?"

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. I know I'm not all that knowing about how you humans are, but I know when a woman is anything but fine. So tell me, what's wrong?"

My fingers start tapping on my arm and I refuse to look at him.

"It's stupid."

"What is?"

"All of this. I can't do this anymore."

"What does that mean?"

"That! Stop that! Why are you so concerned?"

"Why is it bad for me to be concerned about you?"

"Because you're in love with another woman!"

I can feel my eyes begin to water so I turn my back to him much to his confusion.

"Wha...What are you...?"

"Don't read into this like there's some hidden message of me saying I love you or something because that's not what's happening. *sigh* If you want me to be honest...I feel torn."

"Torn?"

He steps closer but I move away, standing face to the wall and leaning my forehead on it.

"When you had me start watching the kids, I didn't think I'd become so attached. I used to not have these feelings. Now...Now I wouldn't think twice about throwing myself in harm's way for them."

He smiles a little.

"There's nothing wrong with that. The kids adore you. They see you as a mother..."

"No, they don't!"

I'm shaking more and he pouts.

"They don't see me as a mother. Maybe Jr., Wendy, and Lemmy, but not the rest. Why should they when you have Peach to fill that role. To them, I'm just someone that takes care of them and they can hit on like lovesick teens."

"Lynsie..."

"You know, Roy wanted me to ask you permission for him to take me away to Bubblaine in the Seaside Kingdom for some 'alone time'. Ludwig wishes to totter me 'privately' in the ways of music. Oh! Iggy wants to conduct 'experiments' on me. And Morton...I think we've said enough about that one."

"Lynsie..."

"I mean, you marrying Peach makes her into their step-mother. Bad enough when Jr. calls her 'mama' I feel my heart shatter, but if the others start...*sniffles* Damn it, I'm so sick of crying. I can't take it anymore."

Those words touch a nerve in Bowser, triggering flashbacks to a time before the children and when someone he cared for broke his heart. It made him panic and grab me, spinning me around to face him.

"Don't say that! Don't ever think that!"

"Stop it. Stop acting like you care."

"I do!"

"No, you don't. You're just scared you'll lose a caretaker."

"Damn it, woman, stop thinking you know what I feel and listen to me!"

I'm stunned from that and he continues.

"Yes, I am marrying Peach. But it's for what she offers to give me for doing so. Land, power, wealth, all that jazz. Nothing else. I'm doing this out of spite."

My mind blanks out for a moment.

"Wha?"

"That's right. I'm marrying her out of spite. I'm going to force her hand, take all she has, and make her hate life in every way. And do you know why?"

I shake my head.

"Because you were right."

I cock my head in puzzlement.

"You were right about her. She's not the girl I fell for. She rude, disrespectful, and mean to the kids. I can't be happy with a girl like that. Hehe...So why not get a kick out of things by making her feel as bad as she's made us feel."

"I...I don't know how to respond."

"How about saying something like 'I'm happy for you' or 'good going' or..."

"Where are you going with this?"

Bowser opens his mouth, but no words escape him as if they died on his tongue before they could come out. This only adds to my confusion.

"Bowser?"

He's silent for a while before sighing and leaning on his hand on the wall over me.

"Why do you make things so difficult?"

"I'm not sure I understand."

"It's probably for the best that you don't."

This feels both okay yet awkward.

"...Are you mad at me?"

"No...Are you mad at me?"

"No...Can I ask what the talk with the kids was about?"

He's quite again. I feel like I'm overstepping. Then again, I also feel a little odd about the position I'm stuck in. Leaning towards someone, even though he's mostly towering over me, is a nonverbal way of telling them you are engaging them. Like if you are interested in a person, a way to show them is by leaning towards them, this subconsciously will pull them in your direction. Body language is kooky.

"...I gave them 'The Talk'."

Now I'm the quiet one.

"Lynsie?"

It takes a moment to process what he said before I start laughing much to his relief and confusion.

"Is that a good laugh or one I should be worried about?"

"*snickering* When I suggested you talk to the kids...I wasn't expecting THAT."

"They're in their twenties. It was the time sooner rather than later. After all, they have been a tad clingy to you, as you know all too well from those examples you told me."

"Yeah, that's true."

"Roy really said 'alone time'?"

"He did."

"Ludwig probably means he'll literally be teaching you music."

"You might be right, but he gives me these mixed signals that come off as flirty yet tame. I don't know."

"Iggy just might be curious about your body. N-Not in that way! I mean...You know how he is."

"You say that now, but I'll be saying 'I told you so' if one day I find myself strapped to an operating table and hooked up to unknown machines."

"If that happens, I'll buy you dinner."

"Deal."

"And Morton...Yeah...I got nothing for that one. Heh...At least Larry's okay...Right? Please tell me he hasn't tried anything."

"*giggles* Aside from the random times where he rides me like one of his horses, nothing too crazy. I think he's still a little young before his interest in girls kicks in."

"Oh thank the stars."

"Lemmy seems like the right age, but his innocence is a most invaluable thing and I'm grateful for it."

"No kidding. That plus his size, I can't tell you how many times I forget that Larry is the youngest of the original seven."

"I must admit, I am curious to see how he'll develop once he matures."

"Watch him turn out to be the biggest of the bunch."

"Heheh...I'd put some coin on that."

He chuckles.

"I think you have a problem."

"No, I don't. I only make bets on things that are statistically probable, such as Lemmy growing up from the runt of the litter to being the biggest macho man of the group. It's a bet I don't mind making."

"In that case, how much are you willing to bet the kids are listening in?"

"All the coin in the world."

"Want to make them squirm?"

He smiles down at me deviously and I can't help the wicked smirk that creeps across my lips.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I say we pretend to fight then leave. I can then show you that thing I told you about. And after that, we show the kids and surprise them. How does that sound?"

"Bowser, that is cruel and manipulative."

"So, no?"

"Oh heck yeah, we should do this."

"*snicker* Really?"

"They're big kids. Nothing wrong with giving them a little dose of reality sometimes. And in reality, sometimes good friends will fight."

"You want to start or should I?"

"Kings first. Just do me one favor."

"What's that?"

"Remember this is pretend...Please be gentle with me."

Maybe it's the way I said that. Maybe it's the way we're currently situated. Maybe it's this strange tension between us. But whatever the reason is, we both end up blushing fools that can't stop staring at each other.

"Uh...M-My bad?"

He blinks rapidly a few times before jerking back.

"Woman! You are so frustrating! Do what you're told and obey your King!"

I jump at the sudden roar from him, forgetting everything we just talked about. Only settling down once he winks at me and I recall he's only pretending to be pissed off.

"I don't have to take this!"

I fake walking away.

"Where do you think you're going?!"

"Away from you, you big baby!"

I wink and he fights the urge to snicker while offering me his arm.

"Oh no, you don't! Get back here, you brat!"

I have to cover my mouth with one hand to keep quiet as I take his arm with the other before we take our leave of the area. We quickly round a corner and spy on the rec-room door flying open, the kids all seem to be going nuts in some way or another.

"Do you think we're being too bad?"

"Do you really want to go back in that room with a bunch of hormone pumping boys that want to get you alone after I've given them the 'The Talk'?"

"...Let's get going."

"Smart girl."

We continue on our way, me following beside my King, him leading me to where I know not. After a little bit of time, he has me wait in one room while he gets something from another. My only clue to what is going on is it was about animals. Moments later he returns, only this time he is not the same Koopa that I know. In comes this huge Tiger-like hybrid of Bowser with a golden striped Super Bell dangling off his spiked collar and a bronze striped jingle Lucky Bell nestled in his paw. I'm made speechless.

"Well? What do you think? I got these weird items when I took over the Sprixie Kingdom for a time, but man are they useful and powerful too."

"...You...You're a cat?"

"Tiger Koopa."

"...You are freaking adorable!"

"Daww..."

He blushed faintly and rubbed the back of his head while thinking to himself that he was so right about how this moment was going to play out.

"Is it weird that I suddenly want to rub your belly?"

"N-No, but maybe petting behind my ears would be a better start."

I giggle sheepishly at my own silliness. He kneels down and I reach up, scratching under his chin with one hand while the other goes behind his ear, making his eyes flutter as his tail curls in delight.

"Mmmmmm...*purring* That's nice."

"I aim to please."

"Want to try this out for yourself?"

He offers the bell in his paw.

"How does this work exactly?"

"From what I know, if humans or humanoid things like Toads absorb the bell like a normal power-up, it will put you in a Cat Suit like how a Super Leaf gives you Tanooki Suit. But for me and other creatures and living object, it makes you transform into a type of cat."

"Ah man...So I can't go full kitty like you? That's such a bummer."

He snorts a laugh and I carefully take the bell.

"Okay, I just have two more questions about these things. First...What do they do?"

"Aside from normal cat stuff, you can run up walls, scratch things with sharp claws, flutter jump to float a little bit, dive bomb, and sprint quickly. Though with the Lucky Bell, it'll let you transform into a Lucky Cat Statue. This form looks like a golden Maneki-Neko statue holding a coin and is a similar trait kind of like the stone statue form of the Tanooki Suit. Except Lucky Cat gives you coins while moving and makes you invincible so long as you remain a statue, though you can't stay like that forever as there is a time limit of its power."

"Okay, that's epic. Heh...And my final question is...Can I pick the type of kitty I get a suit for?"

He shakes his head.

"That's not how it works, spitfire. Otherwise, I'd have picked a saber-toothed cat."

"Dude...That would be epic. Shame though...Oh! Should I take the shell off?"

"Nah. Besides, it looks good on you."

"Alright...Here goes nothing. It's kitty time!"

I squeeze the bell into an embrace and it glows as it enters my body, setting my entire form alight in its power. Bowser watches intently. He knows what the bell made his enemies look like.

Mario's suit is yellow and white, with dark marks on the tips of his ears, cheeks, back of his head, and spine. Luigi's is green and white, dark marks on the back of his rounded ears, the top of his head, spotted body, and the tip of his tail. Peach's is pink and white, with no marks on her flawless coat. Toad's is blue and white, with dark marks on his cheeks, back of his head, and spine. And lastly, Rosalina's is black and white, resembling a tuxedo cat with such a silky unmarked coat pattern.

So once the light fades, he is rather surprised by the Koopa shell wearing catsuited girl now sitting in front of him with a red collar that the Lucky Bell now connects to. She's a Calico with a spotted or particolored coat that is predominantly white with patches of brown and grey. This is probably because of her shell, as calico is a pattern more usually called tortoiseshell-and-white. The Lucky Bell itself could've picked this, as cats of this coloration are believed to bring good luck in the folklore of many cultures. Sometimes calicoes are referred to as money cats, the Maneki-Neko figures depict Calico cats, bringing good luck and great fortune.

"How do I look?"

"Like a cute ball of fluff that I might die from if I hear you meow."

"Don't tempt me right meow."

I blush and he snickers.

"I swear, that was not on purrpose."

He laughs and I'm both finding this funny and freaky.

"Is this really funny to mew?"

"*laughing* Stop...I can't...I can't take it..."

I decide to go with all this silliness and play the ultimate cat move. I move close, widen my eyes, and playfully paw him.

"Reow~."

He falls over onto his back holding his sides. He'd probably be stuck because of his shell if it weren't for him rocking in his laughter. I let him calm down before doing anything else that might set him off.

"Hehehe...Now that was not fair."

"Yeah, I probably should've warned you I'm good at puns and silly word games. My bad."

"Ready to show the kids our new looks?"

"Sure. But why do so in a normal way?"

"Koopa style?"

"Oh yeah."

"Cool. How do we do that?"

"I'll give you a twenty second head start to find out."

I am puzzled till I see the predatory gleam in his eyes match his cunning smirk.

"Oh...Um...Mreow?"

I can't think of anything smart or clever so I just take off on all fours while he counts to himself. Never have I figured that one day, I'd be a cat yet feel like a mouse that's being chased by a super big cat.

"Mreow!"

Was it really twenty seconds already?! I don't even have to look behind me to know he's closing the small gap my head start made. I push myself to run as fast as I can even though I know he's just playing around with me, but I also know that Bowser is a fast guy for his size and weight. As I begin to approach the rec-room I can hear two things, one is the voices of some of the children still inside the room and two is the heavy breathing of Bowser getting ever closer with each passing minute. Curse my crummy body and lack of decent cardio exercise! My lungs are already feeling the burn from all this!

"Reow!"

Bowser attempts a pouncing lunge and just barely get my tail out of his claws.

"*hiss*"

The resulting commotion gets the attention of the kids who check on the noise just as I run along a wall and Bowser comes plowing behind me in chase. This, of course, is very confusing to those that saw this.

"Uh...What was that?"

"I don't know, what did you think you saw?"

"Was that Mama?"

"Was that the old man?"

"Were they...cats?"

"Morton is very confused."

"You and us both, Morton."

Several hallways later and I'm losing the will to keep running. I've missed being caught two more times but I know my luck can't last forever. Though I will admit these cat powers are perfect for doing parkour and gymnastics.

"You can't run forever, spitfire!"

"I know that. But where's the fun in making it easy for you?"

He chuckles and I yelp at the sudden nip at my tail. How did he get so close?! I'm all out of moves now. I can't jump while he's this close, there's no room. I can't duck under him, I don't have time to avoid his paws. Wait...I could go statue...No, that's stupid. I don't want to hurt him. Damn it, what do I do?! Lost in my dumb thoughts, I fail to notice the passing Buzzy Bettle and it fails to notice me until it's too late.

Buzzy Beetles are turtles with hard, outer shells that are often deep dark blue. Buzzy Beetles will hide in their shells if jumped on, and, like a Koopa Shell, can be kicked to attack other things. The shell of the Buzzy Beetle is strong enough to resist fireballs, and as such, they cannot be defeated by fire. In a way, they are the polar opposite of the Spinies; enemies who are immune to jumps, but vulnerable to fireballs.

Once my paw touches the Buzzy's shell, it ducks inside its and goes shooting off behind me as I kiss the floor then poof into a statue while skidding for some time. Bowser worries, but then he too slips on the shell, sending it ricocheting off walls till it breaks out a window and comes to land beyond the castle walls. Bowser tumbles head over tail, collecting Lucky Cat made coins till he lands atop my statue form.

For a bit of time, Bowser is seeing stars in dizziness. His mind told him something wasn't right, but then again, this was the same part of him that was currently seeing objects move around on their own in wavy blurs. Suddenly there's a poof of smoke under him and realization kicks in when the feel of something uncomfortably hard becomes very soft. Quickly yet carefully, he lifts himself back onto all fours and begins blushing heavily at what he sees. Not only am I staring back at him with an equally red face, mostly due to smacking it on the floor and exhaustion, but I'm also on my back with my front paws covering my chest helplessly while I slowly pant out of breath.

"*tired* You caught me...my King...Now...what are you...going to...do to me?"

I'm too tired for my brain's filter to pick up the implications that question now has him thinking of. His whiskers twitch and his button nose begins to bleed ever so slightly. This gets to my weary mind.

"*tired* Bowser...Are you okay?"

He bites his lower lip and whimpers.

"*mumbling* Keep it together, Bowser. You can do this. She's not trying to do this to you. It's just a wacky accident that happened. Don't mess this up by going for it. Let her come to you."

"*tired* What? I didn't hear you...Are you alright?"

"Yeah...Yeah, I'm fine."

He snorts the blood back up his nose and rolls me over so I'm now on my stomach. This vexes me till I feel a light bite when I try to get up and I'm hosted off the ground. Much like a kitten, my body curls in Bowser's hold of the scruff of my neck and he starts walking us back toward the rec-room.

"Let's get back to the kids before they get too worked up. You can have your catnap then. Okay?"

I nod weakly and let this oddly cute thing happen, I'm too worn out to walk at this point anyway.

[Meanwhile: Desert Oasis Cantina]

The atmosphere in the cantina was a hustle and bustle of strange people all there for refreshments while getting out of the sun's blistering heat. In the back of said place, away from prying eyes or listening ears, sit Nabbit and Luigi who was already on his second glass of water.

"Thirsty much?"

"*gasp* Denim...Is not good to wear here."

Nabbit nods and looks around.

"I take it Mario is outside."

Luigi nods and refills the glass again.

"He's being stubborn. He'll come around once he sees he can't go it alone like he normally can. Bowser's being serious this time. Right?"

"He is."

"Did you find any information?"

Nabbit reaches into his bag and holds up a slip of paper.

"This is the information I managed to find out about Castle Three."

"Can I see it?"

Nabbit holds out a hand.

"This isn't my best work, I did have to rush on this. So for you, I'll ask for ten coins."

"But...But I'm already paying you!"

"You are. This is merely an advance I'm taking out of the main sum."

Luigi sighs and reaches into his pocket, giving Nabbit the coins in exchange for the paper. Looking at the paper, Luigi's eyes widen and he gives Nabbit a worried look.

"Are you sure this is right?"

"Do you not trust me?"

"I do but...Castle Three's boss is Wart? Seriously?"

"Yep. Word is the old croak owed the Koopa King a favor and now he's called him in to collect the debt. I'll need a bit more time to get you information on Castles Four through Seven and the big turtle's HQ itself. But you can count on me to get what you need."

"If this is right, then I'm-a gonna need all the help I can get."

"Think you can get Mario to suck it up and play ball?"

"I might be able to...If I can make him a deal."

"Like what?"

"*sigh* I may have to resort to blackmail."

"Oooh...You got dirt on your brother?"

"That's between me and him."

"Just remember the deal. Pay me half of the coin each of you makes for saving the Princess."

"I know...Thanks again for the help, Nabbit."

"Pleasure doing business, Luigi."

Luigi takes his leave with another deep drink of water. Nabbit makes his exit out a window without paying. Outside, Luigi finds Mario quenching his thirst by dunking his head in the village fountain and gulping water like a fish. He ends up nearly choking till Luigi slaps his back and he spits a coin out.

"You okay, bro?"

"*coughing* I was...I was fine...Thanks."

Luigi rolls his eyes and sits on the rim of the fountain as Mario settles down.

"So...*cough* What did the rabbit say?"

"*sigh* We can't do this separately."

Mario chuckles.

"Oh? What's the matter? Is little Weegee scared to go it alone?"

"Bro...Castle Three's boss is Wart."

That made Mario stop mid-laugh.

"You're joking, right?"

Luigi shakes his head and shows Mario the paper Nabbit gave him. Mario reads it, pacing as he does.

"How did Bowser manage to get Wart? I thought when we beat him that second time, he and Subcon vanished."

"Subcon is the land of dreams. One needs only to dream of it to find it."

"Smart move, posting him in the Frozen zone. No vegetable to hit him with. What's in Castle Four?"

"Don't know yet. Nabbit just got me that as a start."

"Does he still expect me to pay?"

"Yeah."

"*scoff* Good luck with that."

"Mario, be serious. This is not like the other times we save the Princess. This isn't going to be easy."

"I can handle this. Nothing that overgrown lizard can throw at me will keep me from being the hero."

"Mario!"

"You can go home if you want, but I'm-a gonna do this."

"I'm-a trying to say we need to do this together!"

"And I'm-a saying I don't need your help!"

"Koopmas party!"

That made Mario look at his brother funny.

"What?"

"Last Koopmas, you got drunk, remember?"

"So I had a few, big deal, it was a party after all."

"You woke up crammed in the chimney."

"What's your point?"

"Before that, you went all crazy and did so many embarrassing things...All of which I recorded in photos and video."

Mario glares.

"You're bluffing."

"I'll post all of it, unless...You stop trying to go it alone and do this together with me. I mean, are we not called the Super Mario Brothers? We're stronger as a team and you know it."

Mario gives his brother a stern look and Luigi returns it back.

"I don't know whether to shove you into this fountain or be impressed you-a finally stood your ground."

Luigi is surprised.

"S-So you'll do it?"

"Yes, I'll pay the darn rabbit. You've earned this one, bro."

Luigi leaps with joy and hugs Mario, a cute little display that passersby witness with mixed reactions.

"I'm-a so happy! Now nothing can stop us! Teamwork goes a long way when going up against Bowser."

"Stick with me, Bro, and we'll win this one together."

"You got it, Mario! We'll show Bowser and all the mid-bosses some real Mario Bros. teamwork!"

"Yeah, let's roast this frog!"

"Toad."

"Huh?"

"King Wart is a toad. Not a frog."

"Whatever. They both croak and go ribbit."

"Wow, Mario. Speciesism is something I didn't expect from you."

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"*snicker* Got ya!"

At his limit, Mario shoves Luigi into the fountain.

"Come on, Luigi. We got a Princess to rescue."

Luigi splashes and sloshes his way out of the fountain as Mario starts walking out of town, leaving wet footprints in the sand while catching up with his brother. Though miffed at being soaked for the moment, Luigi was pleased with himself. He managed to rope his stubborn brother in and fixed things so that the dynamic duo can again kick bad guy butt. Princess Peach is as good as theirs so long as they can maintain this balance of brotherly respect. He only hoped his clothes would dry out before they reached the zone of ice or he'd become a Super Mario Brosicle.

Mario himself felt a little bit of pride for his brother. Sure, he's normally the big hero but he knew there were times where Luigi out shinned him. Maybe the reason he was always so tough on Luigi was that he was scared. Scared that the spotlight might fade for himself. Scared his brother might be the one others will call on. Scared Luigi will get hurt dealing with the kind of madness he has to fight each time Peach ends up in danger. But his way of dealing with this was less than helpful. Being tough kept Luigi down, not made him stand up. It was crushing him. But this blackmail thing, this showed Mario that Luigi maybe the more sensitive brother, but he had thicker skin too. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to properly teach Luigi how to do the same things he does.

Only time would tell if it is time well used. Wart is not one to be taken lightly. Wart is a large green toad with a big white round belly, a general body shape resembling a frog, a vaguely crocodilian snout filled large white teeth, and large claws on his two-toed feet and four-fingered hands. He is typically depicted as wearing a blue cape. He also wears a crown, a large pendant on a gold necklace, and gold bracelets. Very little of his personality has been revealed beyond the fact that he is bad and is willing to cause mayhem and destruction in order to achieve his goal of ruling Subcon. However, he is cunning and patient enough to bide his time between attacks, and the fact that he stole all the Mario statues may indicate a spiteful side to his personality.

Wart is the leader of a gang known as the 8-bits and his major fame in villainy centers around his efforts to conquer Subcon, a land of dreams. He is the most mischievous of all in the world of dreams. He created monsters by playing with the dream machine. To attack, Wart can spit streams of bubbles or jets of water. Wart uses the hijacked Dream Machine and his army to conquer Subcon. The plot about the storybook is removed, however, and Wart is simply left undefeated. Instead of fighting him, the natives of Subcon make contact with Mario through one of his dreams, pleading for him to save them and telling him about Wart's weakness: a distaste for vegetables. Mario initially dismisses the message as a regular dream, but the next day he, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, and Toad discover a door to Subcon and decide to save the dream world from Wart. After his defeat, Wart is seen one last time during the victory celebrations, being crowd-surfed across land by the now-freed Subcons. As he disappears off into the distance, swirls and stars appear, implying that they serve him another beat-down for his actions.

After the victory celebrations, Mario and friends wake up in bed and are left to wonder if the events that transpired really happened or if they are no more than products of a dream, then continue sleeping. But this wasn't the case and Wart would not fade into memory so easily. After his defeat, Wart and his crew escaped to another dream and laid low for a while, eventually returning and attacking Subcon once more, forcing its king into hiding and moving him to summon Mario, Luigi, Toad and Princess Peach once more. This time, Wart also steals the golden statues that had been placed around the land as thanks for Mario's previous rescue. He possesses the same attacks and is defeated the same way as in his earlier appearances yet after his defeat, Subcon vanishes.

Now Wart is back and in the waking world under Bowser's employ. This is going to be hard in so many ways. But where's the fun in a challenge without a someone that wants to beat the snot out of you?

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	18. Night Two: All the best hits

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Needless to say, the kids found our new temporary looks way more interesting than I thought they would. There was so much petting! I didn't last long though, my tiredness beat out any attention they were giving me. Though I did manage to stay conscious long enough to hear Bowser explain that removing the bells from our necks is how to undo the transformation. But for now, I nod off all curled up on a beanbag chair. I need to thank Bowser when I wake up. If it weren't for him telling the kids to let me rest, I get the feeling I'd not be in this chair when my eyes once more opened to the waking world.

"Now remember, let her sleep. The chase really wore her out."

"Daww...She's so cute."

"Look at that. Her paw pads are black instead of pink."

"Her tail is twitching. Is that a good thing?"

"If it's fast, then it's bad. Slow twitching is fine."

"Morton want to cuddle the kitty."

"What did I just say?"

Normal Bowser is intimidating. Meowser, on the other hand, is hard to take seriously due to cuteness.

"Hey! If anyone is cuddlin' her, it's me!"

"No one is cuddling her! Just let her sleep!"

"*groans*"

She rolls over, curling into a fuzzy ball and hiding her face under her paws.

"*whisper* See? Let her sleep. Otherwise, there's going to be a very cranky kitty clawing all over the place."

They move her in her beanbag chair further back in the room and move back to where they before.

"There. We should be okay now."

"So Papa...Not that it's not cool or anything, but why are you and Mama cats?"

"I...I just wanted to show her something cool. Am I not allowed to be cool?"

"You can. But you've never tried to be cool before. You just are."

"Somethin' doesn't add up here."

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

"What's a denmark?"

"It's a term used to describe corruption or a situation in which something is wrong."

"Oh...Yeah, this is so a denmark."

"This is not a denmark!"

"Old man, don't even try to mack on my girl. She's mine."

Bowser's eye twitches and he opens his mouth to say something, but Jr. does it first.

"I told you so! Mama and Papa are going to married."

"Jr. that's not..."

"Don't start that again, brat! She's mine!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Kids..."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Kids..."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Kids."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Morton will make the kitty mine."

"Kids!"

While not serious to look at, Meowser is still their father. His roar meant you shut up and listen now!

"Let me make this perfectly clear..."

"Don't you mean purr-fectly?"

"...I'm this close to grounding the lot of you. Don't push your luck."

That made the young boys silent.

"Look...just...lay off all this 'she is mine' stuff. It's taking its toll on everyone, especially her."

"But pops..."

"No, Roy, father is right. We should cease trying to force claim to someone."

"Thank you, Ludwig. That's very mature of you."

"*cough* Suck up! *cough*"

Ludwig sneers at Roy's remark.

"Of course, father. It's not our place to simply 'call dibs' on her. We should respect the fair maiden's right to choose whomever she wishes as a preferable partner. After all, the heart wants what the heart wants or else it does not care, as the saying goes."

"Can everyone speak plain English and not metaphors? Having to guess what people are saying is really annoying."

"I think I can explain."

"Please do, Iggy."

"The heart is often used as a figure of speech, a metonymy as it were, for emotions, as in Pascal's remark that the heart has its reasons that reason does not know. So I think that the meaning of the saying, 'the heart wants what it wants' is that emotions such as love are not under conscious cognitive control. For example, you cannot simply decide to fall in love with somebody, no matter how suitable it might be. Similarly, you cannot just decide to stop loving somebody no matter how hopeless it is."

"While true, dear brother, on the other hand, you can decide to do things that increase the likelihood that you will fall in love with someone, such as having deep intimate conversations and gazing into each other's eyes. And you might decide to try to fall out of love with someone by avoiding the person, focusing on negative features, and becoming attracted to someone else. These occurrences are hard to explain using the two most common theories of emotions."

Iggy giggles and claps his hands in delight.

"This is why I enjoy talking with you, Ludwig. You get on my level so well. The cognitive appraisal theory of emotions says that emotions are judgments about how well a situation fits with your goals so that happiness is an estimate of goal satisfaction and sadness is an estimate of goal dissatisfaction. On this theory, it should be fairly easy to control your emotions, because you can reappraise the situation and figure out whether falling in love accomplishes your relationship goals. But emotions are never that simple. The alternative theory of emotions is that they are just reactions to physiological changes, such as heart rate, breathing, and hormone levels. The physiological perception view of emotions fits well with the idea that the heart wants just what the heart wants, putting feelings outside of cognitive control. But mere physiology doesn't explain how the brain differentiates among emotions that are physiologically similar, such as fear/anger and shame/guilt, nor how the brain produces socially complex emotions such as pride, gratitude, envy, and embarrassment."

Ludwig smirks.

"I enjoy these chats as well, brother. But the problem is resolved by viewing emotions as a parallel brain process that simultaneously performs and integrates cognitive appraisal and physiological perception. This integration can be performed by neural representations called semantic pointers that are capable of binding representations of the situation, bodily signals, and the results of evaluation of the situation with respect to goals."

"Of course! This integration explains why emotions are partly, but only partly, controllable by cognition. Reappraisal performed by yourself or with the help of a friend or therapist may be limited in the extent it can modify physiological states. Physiological modification might be helped by other, more physical interventions, such as exercise, meditation, and medication."

"Exactly. On this interpretation, it is only partly true that the heart wants what the heart wants because there is some limited capacity for cognitive reappraisal that contributes to emotional change. But this capacity can sometimes bring it about that the heart wants what the brain wants."

"*hysterical laughter* Fascinating! Truly and utterly fascinating!"

Lemmy and Larry just look at their other older brothers for clarification.

"Any idea what they said?"

"Yeah, a simple translation would be nice."

Roy shrugs.

"All I heard was 'blah blah blah nerd junk, blah blah blah mumbo jumbo'."

"Morton think it all depends on luck. You can try, but you just never know. Only try to do your best and hope things all work out in the end."

All eyes go to Morton who blushes from the attention and rubs his head nervously.

"But that just what Morton think. Morton don't really know. Hehe."

"Either way..."

Bowser tries getting things back on track.

"All I'm asking is for you guys to ease off Lynsie for awhile. She's not a toy. You can't just play however you like with her. If she keeps getting pushed, she's liable to break. And she's not something I can just return to a store to get another copy of."

"But she's never said no when we ask things of her."

"Yeah. It's not like we force anythin'."

"Mama loves to play with us. She says our smiles make her happy."

"That's may be true, but you're forgetting she's only human. She's not as durable as us Koopas. So please, try to tone down all the roughhousing with her. Can you do that? For me?"

There is a mixture of looks that both want to agree with him and yet want to keep doing what they do.

"As for what you said, Jr...No. I am not marrying Lynsie."

Jr. groans out a pout at such news, clearly disappointed by his father's statement. Roy fist pumps his delight and high fives a giddy Morton, both of them forgetting their own stake in claiming the girl. Ludwig merely half smirks to himself, biding his time for his own plans. Iggy rubs his hands together menacingly, experimental ideas he has for her that are now doable knowing Bowser was not going to be involved with her more than working friends. Lemmy and Larry are more neutral about it, either way they see it they win as nothing changes.

"But Papa, why? Papas and Mamas should be together."

"*sigh* We've been over this so many times I've lost count, son. I'm marrying Princess Peach."

"But Mama Peach is a big meanie. Mama Lynn is better."

"While I can't deny that, Lynsie can't give me what Peach can."

"What's that?"

"Isn't it obvious, young Jr.?"

"Oh like you know, Ludwig."

"I do. While a by far better maiden..."

"She can't hear ya, so cut it with the fancy words, bro."

Ludwig gives an unamused chuckle to Roy and decides to keep pressing the 'annoy his brother' button.

"As I was saying...While our dearest flower is by far a more suitable partner for Lord Bowser or frankly, any Koopa for that matter..."

"You're doin' this on purpose, ya smug jerk."

"But...Our dear lady is not of royal blood or from any line of importance. Therefore, father has nothing to gain, possession-wise, from seeking engagement with the currently furry cutie sleeping over there."

"That's it!"

His buttons pushed to its limit, Roy tackles Ludwig and the two scuffle about the room.

"Is that true, Papa?"

Bowser nods and pulls the bell from his collar. A large poof of smoke surrounds him before revealing the King in his original form once more.

"By marrying Peach, I gain control over everything she has. Not just her, but also her power, her wealth, her people, her land...The entire Mushroom Kingdom would be in the palm of my hand all by the power of just two words. 'I do'."

"To be fair, King dad, your track record on getting Peach to the alter isn't the best."

"Yeah. And each time you did get her, she was hypnotized into doing it."

"You're not going to try hypnotism again...Are you?"

Bowser looks at the Super Bell in his hand. His reflection gazing back at him.

"It almost worked the first time, did work the second time, it's bound to be permanently the third time. "

"Papa, even I think that plan is bogus."

Feeling challenged, Bowser glares.

"Things are different this time. Those dumb mustached idiots have no chance of getting here or at the very least, getting here in time. Peach is mine. And soon...This world will follow."

"Oh! Morton have a question!"

"Yes?"

"When is the wedding?"

Bowser opens his mouth but then it hits him...He hadn't picked a date.

"Soon."

"When is soon?"

"Soon."

"That's not really specific."

"I don't know, okay! Just let me figure that out. I'll give her the choice first. But if she refuses to give in willingly...Then it's straight to the altar with some well-done mind-controlling magic. Everybody wins. Well...Except for the Mario Brothers that is. Hehehe."

"*hiss*"

Everyone's attention shoots to the now very irritated cat-girl that is snarling at a nervous Roy and Ludwig. Seems the two boys scuffled their way all over the room and had spooked the slumbering girl.

"M-Milady, please accept my sincerest of apologies for disturbing your rest...It's all Roy's fault."

Ludwig points squarely at Roy and he responds by shoving Ludwig.

"Like heck it is! Don't listen to this dweeb, sugar. I wouldn't have bugged ya if he hadn't started it."

She is not a happy kitty and when she moves off the beanbag chair the boys flinch, thinking she aims to reprimand them or give them a good scratch with her claws. However, she grouchily walks past them and the others, making her way towards the room's exit.

"Lynsie?"

She pauses and looks at her King tiredly, it gets to him.

"You can use my bed."

The negativity in her features fade.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Just don't tear it up, okay?"

She snicked a little and leaves the room.

"She didn't say she wouldn't."

"She's so gonna wreck your bed, pops."

"She wouldn't dare. I'm not the one that woke her. If anything, it's you two that are on her revenge list."

"*snickers* I bet she'll leave hairballs in their rooms."

"*giggles* Or shred their pillows."

"Mama's gonna get you! Mama's gonna get you! Mama's gonna get you! Mama's gonna get you!"

"Shut your mouth, squirt, before I shut it for ya!"

"Want to repeat that, Roy?"

Bowser shoots him a discouraging look that has Roy glaring at the floor, backing down from this fight.

"Ha ha!"

Jr. gloats till Bowser flicks the back of his son's head.

"Ow! Why Papa?"

"Don't start something, have me settle it, then start it up again. I'm not always going to defend you. If you do something and there's a problem, you have to deal with it. Understand?"

Jr. lowers his head in shame.

"Yes, Papa. I'm sorry."

"Good. Now there's not a lot of time left in the day, so before it gets to be bedtime, let's just get back to watching some TV and enjoying..."

"Um...Where's Ludwig?"

Looking around, it was true, the eldest of the Koopalings was suddenly missing from the room.

"That sneaky rotten snob! I'm gonna kill'em!"

Roy rushes out of the room and Bowser sighs while dragging his hand over his face.

"I swear, you kids are going to break me one day."

Time to go on a kitty hunt.

[Meanwhile: Far down the hall]

I didn't make it very far in my stroll to Bowser's room. I was about to just crash in the hall when Ludwig suddenly came from nowhere and scooped me up to now take me I don't know where.

"Ludwig...Where are you taking me?"

"Shhhhh...Just relax, my dear. I will ensure you get a proper slumber."

"*groan* Please stop right now if this is some plot to get me alone with you or a ploy to enrage Roy. I'm so not in the mood to deal with drama right now."

He feigns being struck.

"*gasp* Milady! Oh, how cruel of you to even suggest that I would come to you with such ill intent."

I pout.

"Sorry. I'm just tired."

"'Tis fine, dear flower. No harm was done. Now sleep."

"Thanks."

"Ludwig!"

Roy's roar startles me, if it weren't for his shell my claws would've dug into his hid instead of just scraping the hard protective covering.

"Seems I've been found out. *sigh* I was hoping to have more distance than this."

"You lied to me, naughty boy."

His pace speeds up.

"I did not. I am merely painted in such light."

"Then why are you moving faster?"

"I do not wish to deal with him when he's like this. He's so bullheaded that no amount of reason will get into that thick skull of his."

"Then you better move faster."

Ludwig takes my advice seriously. He hauls tail as fast as he can, all while being rather light on his feet. It's actually rather soothing, the way he moves up and down in his stride. I nod off very quickly.

Ludwig kept on running for a good while. It seemed that Roy was not the only one giving him chase. His other siblings, even Bowser, all appeared to be after him and his furry companion. At the very least he was relieved she had fallen back into slumber, it made his ability to focus on evasion much easier without worrying about what he had to say in order to keep her relaxed. Yet as the eldest Koopaling, Ludwig is more than capable with his abilities to avoid his relatives.

Ludwig is usually the most talented and powerful of the Koopalings. He can fire projectiles from his magic wand, pound the ground to stun others, and retreat in his shell for both defensive and offensive purposes. He can spit three fireballs in a row and spin around the room in his shell, after which he can perform a long jump to the other side of the room. Ludwig can fire electricity from his hands and teleport in a flash of lightning, though he refrains from using these powers as they are draining on him. He also learned the new ability of spinning like a tornado to attack, which was also done by Iggy. Later on, Ludwig learned even more new abilities. He can either blast four fireballs from his wand at time or fire a single fireball, each homing in on the target, and has even mastered the ability of Flutter Jumping, being able to stay in the air for several seconds.

Similar to Lemmy and Wendy, he was also able to create fake duplicates to fake out foes. He is also shown with the ability to levitate without needing to Flutter Jump. He's also proven to be more acrobatic than most of the other Koopalings, being able to jump large horizontal distance with several flips, even going so far as doing a double-flip in the air while performing a stunt when karting. Most of his tricks involve him jumping out of his kart, something he does more than any other racer. His agility is further confirmed as in his victory poses are often of him able to stand on his right hand and spin, spanning two complete circles with his spinning. Like Bowser, Jr., and all the other Koopalings, Ludwig in his own version of the Koopa Clown Car, with which he can shoot cannonballs, use drills, boxing gloves, wrecking balls, and can even jump out of his Clown Car to attack directly. He has some decks of Battle Cards that are used in the fight and Dark Star Points that he and Larry collect by dealing damage to their opponents, showing how ingenious Ludwig is. Ludwig is very skilled in Table Tennis, which has been known to be a patient and strategic game, perfectly suited to him.

A few dodges here, a couple ducking into rooms there, a sprinkle of levitation every so often and Ludwig had managed to sneak his way to his room with the sleeping cat girl none the wiser to what had been going on.

"*sigh* I expect such relentless hounding from Roy. But the others? That was unexpected."

"Well, what did you expect?"

The sudden female voice in the room spooked him, even more so when he sees it's maker, Wendy, filing her claws while sitting on his bed.

"W-Wendy? What are you..."

"Doing here? You're predictable, Ludwig. The moment I heard Roy yelling, I knew you had made a move."

"Why suspect that I would do something?"

"Because after their fight, Jr. isn't brave enough to mess with Roy again. So that leaves you."

She points her file at him but is confused.

"Uh...What's with the cat?"

Ludwig adjusts the cat over his shoulder to be in his arms. The resulting look that comes to Wendy for seeing a cat not only sporting a very familiar shell but also has a human face makes her drop the file in shock.

"Is that...?"

"Our dear maiden? Yes. She and father were fooling around with those bell power-ups he brought back from the Sprixie Kingdom. Thus, she is the way you see her now."

"...And you took her?"

"She wanted a catnap and being around the others is not the best place to snooze, don't you think?"

"You have a point there. So...Can I pet her?"

Ludwig sighs and puts Lynsie down on his bed.

"You have five minutes. But afterward, please leave."

Wendy pets the girl's head, making her purr.

"Why in such a rush to have me leave? Want some 'alone time' with her?"

Ludwig rolls his eyes at her teasing suggestion and goes to his writing desk, grabbing music sheets.

"Indeed, I do. Lord Bowser is bound to request my work soon and I've only managed to finish two pieces. I need some time alone with my muse or else my work will be, dear I say...Less than satisfactory."

He shivers with disgust and Wendy mentally gags. Her eldest brother is a known perfectionist, this type of behavior is normal, even if it does come off as less than gentlemanly.

"You're going to take her down to your private room, right?"

He is stunned.

"How do you know about that?"

"Please, I'm your sister, give me some credit. It's in my gender to be nosy and find out all the little hidden things about my brothers."

"Touché, Wendy. Touché. I suppose this means you'll also be telling the others my location as well."

She scoffs.

"I may be spiteful sometimes, but I'm not going to rat out my big brother. Not over something as harmless as work inspiration."

He sighs with relief.

"Although..."

Now that sigh turned to distraught.

"What do you want or how much?"

"Nothing much. I might be persuaded to keep the others away for the small price of a song made in my honor."

"Deal."

She giggles in joy as he pulls on one of the many inconspicuous books from each of his many shelves in a pattern, which triggers a rug on the floor to fold back and reveal a hidden room.

"Now if you'll excuse me..."

"Oh! By all means."

"Thank you."

He claims the sleeping girl once more into his arms and begins to descend the stairs to the room below.

"Have fun, Ludwig."

Wendy waves innocently as her brother nods in acknowledgment before the hidden entrance closes.

"Sucker."

Wendy snickers as she leaves his room. Maybe she'll give him his peace for an hour. But the moment someone comes to her with an offer, his little fun time is being sold-out so fast heads will spin off.

Ludwig reaches the end of the stairs and with some small finger bolts of lightning, illuminates the room's many candelabras to set the mood for deep creativity. The room itself has been made soundproof, a reason for this is so that Ludwig doesn't bother others. But another reason is that when he loses himself in his music, some of his magic flows into the tunes and becomes physical, causing damage, so the padding is very handy. In the center of said room sits the grandest of Grand Pianos, the musical instrument of his heart of which he gently laid the girl upon.

"My muse, allow me to be graced in thou's purest form."

Carefully, he removes the Lucky Bell from her collar and her body was engulfed in a poof of smoke before her original self came back to his sight. He then placed the bell on the floor.

"Perfect."

He takes his seat, places the sheet music on the holder in front of him and opens the cover to the keys.

"Now, my dear flower...Inspire me."

His fingers tickle the keys and in moments he's in the zone.

In grand pianos, the frame and strings are horizontal, with the strings extending away from the keyboard. The action lies beneath the strings, and uses gravity as its means of return to a state of rest. There are many sizes of grand piano. A rough generalization distinguishes the concert grand (between 2.2 and 3 meters [7 ft 3 in–9 ft 10 in]) from the parlor grand, or boudoir grand, (1.7 to 2.2 meters [5 ft 7 in–7 ft 3 in]) and the smaller baby grand (around 1.5 meters [4 ft 11 in]). All else being equal, longer pianos with longer strings have larger, richer sound and lower inharmonicity of the strings.

Inharmonicity is the degree to which the frequencies of overtones, known as partials or harmonics, sound sharp relative to whole multiples of the fundamental frequency. This results from the piano's considerable string stiffness; as a struck string decays its harmonics vibrate, not from their termination, but from a point very slightly toward the center or more flexible part of the string. The higher the partial, the further sharp it runs. Pianos with shorter and thicker string (i.e., small pianos with short string scales) have more inharmonicity. The greater the inharmonicity, the more the ear perceives it as harshness of tone. The inharmonicity of piano strings requires that octaves be stretched, or tuned to a lower octave's corresponding sharp overtone rather than to a theoretically correct octave. If octaves are not stretched, single octaves sound in tune, but double and notably triple, octaves are unacceptably narrow. Stretching a small piano's octaves to match its inherent inharmonicity level creates an imbalance among all the instrument's intervallic relationships. In a concert grand, however, the octave "stretch" retains harmonic balance, even when aligning treble notes to a harmonic produced from three octaves below. This lets close and widespread octaves sound pure, and produces virtually beatless perfect fifths. This gives the concert grand a brilliant, singing and sustaining tone quality.

"Mmmm...Yes! Speak to me, oh gods of music! Lend me your wisdom and guide me to perfection!"

"*weary yawn* Listen to your heart..."

She rolls over, still out like a light but her words gave him an idea.

"Thank you, my muse. I know now what I must do now."

[Meanwhile: With the Bowser group]

"Any sign of them?"

"Nope."

"I found nothing."

"Me either."

"Same on my end."

"I found zilch."

"Morton got nothing."

"Where's Mama?! I want my Mama!"

"I know, son. But they couldn't have gone very far. We just need to keep looking."

"I think I can help you, daddy."

The group of males now turn to see Wendy leaning on a stone pillar.

"Wendy...What do you know?"

"Oh, not much..."

"Heh, tell us somethin' we don't know!"

Bowser whacks Roy.

"Don't be such a smart mouth. You were saying, dear?"

Wendy sneers.

"Know what...Never mind. I'm not saying jack now."

"We're not looking for Jack."

"It's a figure of speech, Lemmy."

"I hate figure of speeches."

"Quiet!"

Bowser goes over to his daughter.

"Wendy...Where are they?"

She folds her arms and huffs.

"What can daddy do to get you to tell me?"

"I want an apology."

"Roy!"

"What?"

 _"_ Apologize to your sister!"

"What?! Why?!"

"Do you want to find Lynsie or not?"

Roy flinches and grumbles with annoyance.

"I'm sorry."

"I can't hear you."

"I said, I'm sorry! So please, just tell us already!"

"Well, seeing as you've begged me..."

Roy is mentally fuming at her arrogant tone.

"I guess I can tell you where to find them. On one condition."

They all groan.

"What is it, Wendy?"

"Can I get a tiara?"

Bowser looks at her funny.

"Why do you want a tiara?"

"I just...Want to feel pretty."

That touche the dad's nerves.

"Awww, Wendy...You don't need a tiara to be pretty. You're already the most lovely Koopa girl in the kingdom. And anyone ever tells you differently, then they're insane and need some sense knocked into them. But if it'll help to make you smile, I'll get a tiara worthy of showing how beautiful you are."

That touched her heart and she couldn't help the water welling in the corners of her eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh, daddy!"

She hugs her father tight and he smiles warmly.

"They're in Ludwig's private room."

That didn't sound good to them.

"And where's his private room?"

"In his room. On the bookshelves, pull on the books in this order. Shelf three, red. Shelf one, blue. Shelf four, green. Shelf two, yellow. If done right, a rug on the floor will move away to open the room."

"Thank you, Wendy."

"You're welcome, King daddy."

"Alright, you heard her. Onward to Ludwig's room!"

"Charge!"

The boys run off as Bowser follows behind. Leaving Wendy to flutter to her room on air of positivity.

[Meanwhile: With Ludwig]

"Yes...Yes...This is perfect!"

Ludwig nudges the sleeping girl and she whines.

"*groans* Let me sleep, please...All these interruptions are making me irritable."

"My muse, please, I need your help."

She cracks one eye partly open.

"With what?"

"I need your voice."

He holds up a finished piece of sheet music and now he has her attention. She moves to lay on her stomach across the lid of the piano and examines the song. If he weren't such a gentleman, Ludwig would be enjoying the sight of her on his piano far more.

"You want me to sing this?"

"I need to hear how it sounds with the accompanying music."

"Why not sing it yourself?"

He blushes faintly.

"As shocking as it may be, while I can write and perform music, my talents are not as...good...when it comes to vocalizing."

"Very well. I guess I can help out. But then can I sleep?"

"You do know you'll miss the evening meal if you continue to sleep."

"And the point is?"

"...Fair enough. Please, sit with me."

She hands him back the sheet of music and slides off the piano to join him on the bench.

"So how does this work?"

"I'll play the song and you just sing till it feels right. Okay?"

"Alright. Let's do this."

Thus they began to practice.

[Meanwhile: With the Bowser group]

The children storm into Ludwig's room and begin pulling randomly at books. Only when Bowser gets there do they stop because of the low ominous rumble he's making.

"Clean up this mess. I'll open the door."

Bowser waits for them to put everything back, though not in the right order, no one remembered how that was like. But dealing with what he had to work with, Bowser began to do as Wendy had told him.

"Shelf three, red."

He pulls the book.

"Shelf one, blue."

Then another one.

"Shelf four, green."

And again.

"Shelf two, yellow."

With the last one pulled, the rug gives way and out of the opening comes the sound of piano music.

"Oooh...Sounds pretty."

"Well, the pretty piano boy is gonna get his teeth knocked out for takin' my girl."

"*distant* _Do. Re. Mi. Fa. Sol. La. Ti. Do. Ti. La. Sol. Fa. Mi. Ra. Do._ "

That made those in the room above go slight and listen in.

"*distant* Thanks for water, Ludwig. My throat was getting dry."

"*distant* No trouble, fair maiden. Now can we try that once more, in that same key as before?"

"*distant* Okay. But just one more."

"*distant* Good. I think you really found the perfect pitch."

The music starts up again from the beginning and slowly they creep down the steps, being sure not to make a sound. Slowly the pair comes into view, sitting side by side and her no longer in a catsuit. It would seem normal, even rather sweet, if it weren't for current feelings of those watching and the odd waves of magic pooling around the piano as things build up.

" _I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah. You've built a love, but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven; turns too dark. Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why. But listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye..._ "

Her words echo and reverberate in the magic, causing it to pulse with the along with the flux in the tones.

" _Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah. They're swept away, and nothing is what it seems. The feeling of belonging; to your dreams...Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why. But listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye..._ "

It was enchanting. The song, her voice, his music, the magic. It all made this feel so much more intense for something so simple. Things only got more interesting when the magic sometimes touched the candelabras and made the fire dance in ways that were far from normal, but still so wondrous.

" _And there are voices that want to be heard. So much to mention, but you can't find the words. The sense of magic, the beauty that's been. When love was wilder than the wind! Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why. But listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye. Listen to your heat...Mm-mmmmmm...I don't know where you're going and I don't know why. But listen to your heart, before...you tell him goodbye!_ "

Ludwig plays a little more before it ends and magic fades.

"Well done, milady. I do believe that was the one."

"Daww...*giggle* Thanks. I just hope it sounded okay."

"Whoooo! Way to go, sugar!"

Ludwig and I jump in our seat, Roy's voice was definitely not something we were expecting to hear.

"Mama!"

Jr., as he always does, runs up and tackles me to the floor.

"Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!"

"Jr. Jr. Jr. Jr."

The little boy holds me tight and I sigh to myself. Seems like I'm not sleeping anytime soon. Sensing things are no longer under his terms, Ludwig attempts to make himself scarce, but he can't make it very far. Not when his other siblings and father are blocking the only means of leaving the room.

"Uh...H-Hello everyone."

"Bro...You're in for a world of hurt."

"Morton don't like it when big brother hogs the Lynn lady."

"Just because you're older, doesn't mean you have free bids on her."

"Yeah!"

Larry and Lemmy say together and Ludwig backs up a bit before Bowser steps beside him.

"Now boys, we can't judge Ludwig. He didn't do anything wrong."

Hope swells in Ludwig's eyes.

"T-Thank you, father! I swear I was going to return her to your chamber once I was finished with my work. I just needed the aid of my muse for inspiration. And as you heard, she is of the utmost help."

"I see. And this work of yours, it must be important."

"It is, father. I needed her aid in completing the pieces you requested from me for when you propose to Princess Peach. Only the best made by the best for the very best of the best."

Ludwig played to Bowser's ego for some leverage and by the looks of it, it was working.

"Very good, my boy. I expect nothing less from you."

Ludwig's heart soared.

"However..."

He gulped in dread.

"You still could've asked permission before you ran off with her. And for that...I'll let your brothers decide on how you can make amends."

He pales.

"W-What?"

Roy grabs Ludwig and grins.

"Hey there Luddy, wanna hear a joke?"

That was a bad sign, Roy only used nicknames like that when he was really seething.

"Uh..."

"What do all great pianists have in common?"

"*gulp* What?"

"They're all dead."

Ludwig pale and Roy's grin widens.

"Luck for you, bro, you're family. So we're just gonna pound the heck out of ya. till we feel ya learned your lesson."

Morton grabs Ludwig on the other side, followed by Iggy and Larry doing the same, Lemmy is too small so he leads the way out while his brothers follow all while Ludwig tries to talk his way out of it as well as cursing Wendy for betraying him, even going so far as to offer bribes for leniency.

With that over, Bowser comes over to me and picks up the Lucky Bell Ludwig removed.

"So...Did you sleep at all?"

I chuckle a little and stand up, holding Jr. to my chest as he refuses to let go.

"Not really."

"Want to call it a night early?"

"Is that allowed? We'd be missing dinner."

"Hey, I'm the King, aren't I? I think I'm allowed to bend the rules from time to time."

"Heh, I suppose that's true."

"Plus, I doubt Jr. is willing to let you go, even to eat. Right, son?"

Jr. responds by nuzzling his face into my neck and just barely is able to mumble "My Mama" to me.

"Sweetie? Do you want to snuggle with Mama?"

"Yes, please."

"Awww..."

Bowser pets his son's head, skimming a passing touch of the side of my neck. The gentle trace of his claws sends a pleasant tingle through my body, my eyes flutter yet once it's gone I wish for more of it.

"Mama? Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

"You just got really warm all of a sudden. *gasp* Are you getting sick?"

I blush and rub the back of his head.

"I hope not, sweetie. But just in case, let's go to bed and rest. Rest does a body good."

Jr. turns in my hold and faces his father.

"Papa...Can we sleep together? You know, like when I was small."

Bowser and I share awkward looks. We've shared a bed twice now, both times I've not had full awareness of doing so and there have been so many questions when I wake up that only make things so much more awkward. But nothing ever seemed to have really happened those times, at least, nothing that I know of anyway. And Jr. is going to be with us. No way Papa Bowser would do something funny with his young son in the room with us. Yeah...I guess this is okay in my book.

"My King...Is this acceptable?"

Bowser blushes and rubs his head with his free hand.

"Are you really okay with it?"

"Yeah. Heh...I think it would put some more ease on everyone's mind if I were with my two top boys. Isn't that right, my Prince of cuddles?"

I nuzzle into Jr.'s hair and he snickers while trying to grab my face to make me stop.

"Please, Papa? I sleep better with Mama's snuggles."

"You heard the boy. Can you really say no to this face?"

Jr. pouts and gives his father the pleading puppy eyes. It takes every bit of restraint Bowser has not to burst out laughing at the level of adorableness his son was putting out.

"Okay, okay...No more. Let's go, you silly gooses."

"*goose honk*"

Bowser ruffles my hair and gets me walking with a pat on the back. Though he lingers behind for a moment or two, just staring at the Lucky Bell before joining the two of us on our way to his room. Passing by, we can hear the Koopalings doing whatever they planned to Ludwig. The moment I think about intervening, Bowser convinces me to let the boys be boys. They know better than to do anything too crazy, they don't want their King dad mad or me to be upset. I take Bowser's word for that and hope for the best by the time morning comes. Once in Bowser's room, Jr. bounds out of my arms and lays claim to the biggest pillow the bed has.

"Silly boy, you do know we're supposed to share that, right?"

"Nah. I use the pillow. You use Papa."

He smirks snidely and I'm getting impressed by his growing boldness when it comes to pushing me on his father. Even Bowser is taken back by this side of Jr..

"When you do things like this, it makes me think you know way more than you let on, sweetie."

Jr. merely giggles.

"You sure all you gave the kids was 'The Talk' and not lessons in how to be a Casanova?"

"Believe me, I'm as amazed as you are. Though, I will admit to being proud."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Heh...They take after their old man in being smooth with the ladies."

"*snicker* Oh yeah, you're a real Don Juan alright."

I take off my shell as he shoots me a look.

"And what's that suppose to mean? I'll have you know once I set my sights on a girl, there's no escaping my powerful charm."

I roll my eyes and usher Jr. to stand up so I can help remove his shell.

"I wouldn't call abduction 'charm'. Oh, went with the Power Star undies today. Looks good, sweetie."

"Hehehe...Thanks, Mama."

Bowser puts the bell on his desk and removes his shell, showcasing black boxers with flame decals.

"Abduction is just to let the girl know I'm interested. When I'm allowed to really work the Koopa wilds, trust me, not even you would resist me."

"So you haven't been trying with Peach this whole time? Huh...Makes sense now."

He puts his hands on his hips.

"Woman, I think you're just scared you might fall for me."

I cock my brow.

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

"I think it is, Mama."

"Hmmm...What should I do, sweetie?"

"You should try to prove him wrong."

"So play along and beat him at his own game?"

"Yeah!"

"Very well then. *ahem* Sir, I accept your challenge!"

Bowser smirks.

"You sure you want to start this ball rolling, little spitfire? Because I don't want you getting mad at me because you lost."

"You must think I'm really weak. I may hate to lose, but this is a game not worth getting upset over, even if by some microscopic chance you get me to feel something more than friendship for you. You can't make me back down, big guy. You have issued the challenge and here I stand to take you on."

He walks up to me. Jr. moves into the mound of pillows to get a better view of the scene. Now face to face, or as close to doing so with our different heights, he smiles and cups my chin in one hand.

"I've said this before, but it still rings true. You're cute when you're bad."

Caught off guard once again by this comment yet not wanting to show weakness, I put on a confident grin, but the bit of color that is dusting my cheeks reveals otherwise, much to his delight.

"Oh yeah. This is going to be fun."

"Dream on, my King."

"If I do dream, it'll be of you."

"Then you better fall asleep soon. Because that's the only time you'll win me."

"Just kiss already!"

We both look at Jr. and I giggle.

"Okay, it's bedtime, little man."

"But it's just getting good."

"Uh oh...Do you hear that? It sounds like there's a wild smoocher nearby."

Bowser is confused and watches as Jr. hides in the pillows.

"Oh no! It's coming for you, Jr.!"

I dive in after the boy and he screams when I get my hands on him. Pulling him into my arms, I smooch all over his face and he tries to get free, all be it not as much as someone who really wanted it to stop would try. Taking this opportunity, Bowser crawls onto the bed and scoops us both into his embrace.

"What have we here? Seems I've caught a wild smoocher and little cuddler."

"Oh no!"

"The jig is up, Mama! We're busted!"

"You'll never take me alive!"

I grab a pillow and swat Bowser, something I instantly regret. As this only starts what turns out to be a very long pillow war that ends with us all passing out.

[Meanwhile: In Castle Three]

Thanks to Nabbit's information, the Super Mario Brothers had somewhat safer trip to the castle than they would've had. The cold zone was a vast difference from the desert land they were in before. The dip in temperature made the trek to the castle a slow one. So slow in fact, that they just barely made it by nightfall. Had they not, then the sheer freezing winds and subzero cold would've been their doom.

While not dying in the snow is always a positive thing, the castle is no picnic. The halls are filled with enemies that send chills down your spine in more than one way. Mr. Blizzards, Snow Pokeys, Snow Guys, and Ice Snifits guard the lower levels. But further in, there are Frost Piranhas, Venus Ice Traps, Ice Bros, and Snow Spikes. Lastly, in the deepest levels near the Boos Room, the enemies increase to Li'l Brrs, Crystal Bits, Ice Cherbils, Ice Puffs, Chill Bullies, and Chief Chillies. Yet past all that, all the ding dang ice and cold, was the door to the room that would allow them to leave this frozen hell!

"Ah! I hate the cold!"

"Save your energy, Mario. And be grateful that these fire powers keep us warm."

"You call this-a warm?! I'm-a so cold my mustache is going to fall off!"

"Now you're just exaggerating."

"Don't act like you're not freezing."

"I never said I wasn't. I just know that thinking about it only makes you colder."

Mario looks at Luigi funny.

"That makes no sense."

"It's true. I've been thinking about only hot things and it's kept me all toasty inside. Try it."

"That sounds dumb...But what do I really have to lose."

Mario shuts his eyes and Luigi helps to guide him as they near the Boss Room door.

"Mmmmmm..."

"So? How are you-a feeling?"

"Hot food...Hot sauce...Hot broth...Hot cocoa...Hot presses...Hot women..."

Luigi rolls his eyes.

"Sounds like you're doing just-a fine."

The door comes into view and Luigi lets Mario go before things get too weird. Slowly he pushes the large metal doors open, the low creaking stirs Mario to the matter at hand and he rejoins his brother. Cautiously, they tread inside. The room feeling oddly normal as opposed to the rest of the frosty castle. As with the others, once inside, the door closes behind them and the lights come to life. Revealing the mischievous and devious Wart, sitting impatiently on a throne with his fingers taping in a thinking way.

"Well, well, well...If it isn't the Mario Brothers. Long time no dream."

"You must owe Bowser one heck of a favor if you're willing to face us again, you slimy amphibian."

Wart glares.

"My dealings with the Koopa are none of your concerns. But you shall address me more formally, I am the King of the Land of Nightmares and you will respect me! Ribbit!"

"I respect you as far as I can throw you."

"You're title is about as real as any dream you show up in."

This angers Wart, making him puff out its throat and flare air out through the nostrils.

"Arrogant whelps! Ribbit! Some things never change. But in this case, some things did. For one, you now confront me without your Princess and little Toad friend. And two, there is not a single vegetable in this entire region nor is there a means of spawning any like how you did with the dream machine. So unless I'm mistaken, which I know I am not, you two have no chance of defeating me and leaving this place."

"See...That's where you're wrong."

Wart eyes them funny.

"We knew you-a was the boss of this castle before we entered the area."

"So we took a little side adventure to the Desert Oasis marketplace."

That made Wart's eyes widen a little bit.

"You'd be amazed what you-a can find in that place. All sorts of goodies from simple house supplies to something as unique as treasure. But more importantly, we found these!"

The brothers reach into their pockets and pull out things such as turnips, onions, beets, radishes, and other very throwable root vegetables, making Wart flinch.

"Six. All we need to do is to force-feed you-a six vegetables and you're beaten."

"So why not save yourself some trouble and an upset tummy by surrendering now."

Wart grips his armrest, digging his claws into it and ponders over his next move. It doesn't take long before the old toad stands from his throne and starts to walk down to the center of the room.

"I-Is he really going to leave? Did we win?"

"I don't-a know. But if he is, I know a good pound he can get froggy in."

The resulting growl lets them know that Mario's comment was bad and surrender was not happening.

"Vegetables or no vegetables, ribbit, I'm going to teach you spoiled heroes a lesson. Sometimes by losing a battle, you find a new way to win the war. Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. Ribbit. So think long and hard about that, because this is the day you taste the bitter flavor of loss!"

Wart shoots jets of water at the former plumbers. Of course, they manage to dodge the blasts of water, but that was what Wart wanted. It was just a distraction that allowed him to spit streams of five homing bubbles that the brothers have to blast with fire to make burst, soaking them in slimy liquid.

"Ew...! This is so gross!"

"I really hope this isn't spit."

"Bro, use the turnip!"

"Right!"

Mario throws the vegetable hard at Wart, too fast for the amphibian to move out of the way. Yet with one simple bubble, the turnip enters the bubble and is destroyed before it pops. This was not good.

"Did you forget my bubbles are more dangerous than they appear? Hehehe...Never trust appearances! Nothing is ever what it seems! Ribbit!"

Mario and Luigi pale.

"Uh..."

"Oh..."

Wart unleashes more blasts of water and bubbles. Luigi panics, fear paralyzes him where he stands. Mario's adrenaline skyrockets, his protective instincts kick in and his power over flame burns bright. Mario draws back both his hands before pushing his hands outwards, launching two blasts of fire that travel in a vortex, spiraling away from Mario and expanding vertically. Once fire hits water it explodes into a wall of searing steam, this buys each side some time to prepare for the next move.

Seeing his brother's power, Luigi snaps from his trance. He had dropped the ball when times were getting tough. Well no more. If he was going to step out of Mario's shadow he needed to not hide in it. Time for the Green Machine to bring the hurt. The Green Thunder was going to strike like lightning! All he needed to do is stop being chicken-hearted reluctantly brave Luigi and be the very bold Mr. L.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	19. Day three: Life's random mishaps

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Morning comes once more, as it will until the inevitable doom's day in approximately 5 billion years. Don't know what that is? Once the Sun changes from burning hydrogen at its core to burning hydrogen around its shell, the core will start to contract and the outer envelope will expand. The total luminosity will steadily increase over the following billion years until it reaches 2,730 times the Sun's current luminosity at the age of 12.167 billion years. Most of the planet's atmosphere will be lost to space and its surface will consist of a lava ocean with floating continents of metals and metal oxides as well as icebergs of refractory materials, with its surface temperature reaching more than 2,400 K (2,130 °C; 3,860 °F). The Sun will experience more rapid mass loss, with about 33% of its total mass shed with the solar wind. The loss of mass will mean that the orbits of the planets will expand. The orbital distance of our planet will increase to at most 150% of its current value.

The most rapid part of the Sun's expansion into a red giant will occur during the final stages when the Sun will be about 12 billion years old. It is likely to expand to swallow the two planets closest to it, reaching a maximum radius of 1.2 AU (180,000,000 km). Our world will interact tidally with the Sun's outer atmosphere, which would serve to decrease the planet's orbital radius. Drag from the chromosphere of the Sun would also reduce the world's orbit. These effects will act to counterbalance the effect of mass loss by the Sun, and the world will probably be engulfed by the Sun.

The drag from the solar atmosphere may cause the orbit of the Moon to decay. Once the orbit of the Moon closes to a distance of 18,470 km (11,480 mi), it will cross the world's Roche limit. This means that tidal interaction with our world would break apart the Moon, turning it into a ring system. Most of the orbiting ring will then begin to decay, and the debris will impact the planet. Hence, even if the world is not swallowed up by the Sun, the planet may be left moonless. The ablation and vaporization caused by its fall on a decaying trajectory towards the Sun may remove the world's crust and mantle, then finally destroy it after at most 200 years. Following this event, our planet's sole legacy will be a very slight increase (0.01%) of the solar metallicity. Alternatively, should the world survive being engulfed to the Sun, the ablation, and vaporization mentioned before may strip both its crust and mantle leaving just its core.

Yet don't worry, none of that is even a cause for alarm, as no one lives that long and we'd be smart enough to warp to another world before any of that bad stuff ever happens. But enough of the doom and gloom of times that are far off. Like I said before, morning came as it will do for a long time. The people all were roused by one reason or another, sometimes no reason at all. But on this day, it was the sudden deep snoring that had finally managed to worm into young Jr.'s dreams and stirred the Prince.

"Papa...Roll over on your side...You're too loud..."

When things went silent, Jr. began slipping back into slumber...until...

"*snore*"

"Dad...Cut it out..."

To make his sleepy point, Jr. kicks at his father. Only the response he gets is a low growl that is not from his old man. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Jr. looks over to the sight that has him questioning whether or not he's still dreaming. His father laid splayed out on his back, one leg dangling off the bed, one arm lost under the pillows at the head of the bed, and the other wrapped tightly around the long body pillow to keep it to his chest. His Mama Lynn was curled up in the shadow of Bowser with her back to the King, one hand palmed under her cheek and the other arm laid snugly atop Jr. like a security blanket. This scene, however, gave the young lord a wicked idea in his plans of pushing them together.

Carefully leaving her warmth to creep along the pillows, Jr. made his way to be above his big bad dad. Once in place, he began to pull at the pillow in Bowser's hand. This was working till Bowser's grip strengthened and made pulling impossible. New plan. Now he gets closer on the edge of the bed at Bowser's side and begins to lift the pillow in his grip.

"*whispering* Easy does it...only got one shot at this...make it count..."

With enough space off his father's hulking body, Jr. flicks the pillow away so that it rolls over towards Lynsie, which it does before stopping in Jr.'s former place of rest. Such quick movement combined with Bowser shifting to find his missing pillow knocks the Koopa Prince to the floor, all be it with some silly arm flapping in the failing hopes of keeping his balance.

Resisting the urge to call out "Mama", Jr. rubs his now sore head and fanny just in time to hear a strange rumbling sound reverberate from his Papa. Moving over to the other side of the bed, Jr. climbs his way back up to find his plan coming together. Bowser was now curling his massive self around her, his unconscious form finding her warm body much more appealing than a chilled pillow. She didn't seem to be bothered by this either, smiling in her sleep and nuzzling up under his chin, causing him to snuggle even closer to her, really showing off just how big the size difference is between the two.

"*whisper* Wow...I don't know if I should take a picture, join them, or wake them to see this. Grrr...I hate multiple choices with only one answer!"

Suddenly, her hand reaches out and grabs hold of his foot. It took everything, plus holding his mouth shut, to keep himself from screaming as she pulled him to her and held him close.

"*whisper* Mama, no fair...I didn't make a choice yet."

"*yawn* I love you, sweetie."

That made him smile and put the idea of tormenting Roy with photos of this away...for now at least.

"*groggy* I love you too, spitfire."

Upon uttering those words, Bowser's eyes shot open and he instantly looked to see if anyone heard him. Lucky for him, she was still sleeping. Unlucky for him, his boy was not and was grinning ear to ear.

"*whisper* Don't you say a darn thing."

Jr.'s just keeps grinning.

"*whisper* No, no, wait...it's not what you think. Th-This is a big misunderstanding. You've got to believe me, I..."

Jr.'s grin gets bigger.

"*whisper* Listen, I am telling you...You better listen to me, Jr.!"

Jr.'s grin gets even bigger.

"*whisper* Don't. Say. One. Word."

"*whisper* You like Mama Lynn, don't you, Papa?"

Bowser begins to sweat and his eyes dart from place to place.

"*whisper* If you don't like her, then why are you acting so nervous? And why are you sweating so much? And why do you look so guilty? And..."

"*loud whisper* Okay! Yes! I admit it, Jr.! I like Lynsie! Geez..."

"*whisper* I knew it all along, Papa. No one can resist Mama. She's just too nice."

"*whisper* That's true."

"*whisper* So...When can we break the news to Roy?"

"*whisper* ...You are way too eager to mess with him, you know that?"

Jr. giggles deviously.

"*whisper* And no, you are not telling anyone."

Jr. whines and Lynsie stirs till Bowser covers her ears.

"Not so loud."

"But why not? Shouldn't Mama know you like her? And shouldn't Roy know to back off?"

But that old Koopa was so smart and so slick, he thought up an excuse, and he thought it up quick!

"Remember that game me and her are playing? You wouldn't want her to win and not end up with me, would you? After all, Mamas should be with Papas, right?"

Playing on his son's more than known wants, Bowser effectively buys some time for his own plans.

"Okay, Papa. I won't tell...For a price."

Or maybe not.

"What do you want?"

"I want a chance to prove I'm responsible."

That's more out of left field than his curveball.

"What?"

"I want to show that I'm a big boy and can have my own castle."

"Why? You get this castle when you become King."

"That's not the point! How can I be a King if you don't let me show you that I can take care of things on my own?"

"Jr..."

Jr. looked down, not want his father to see the sadness come over him. But any parent knows when their child is feeling down. And if Bowser is anything, it's that he's a good parent.

"Maybe...Maybe it wouldn't hurt to let you be in charge someday."

Jr. looked up at Bowser like a five-year-old that was given a new puppy.

"Really? You mean it, Papa?"

"Yes. But only when I'm sick, called away for business, on vacation or whatever."

Jr. throws himself at his father, causing the King to release the girl's head to catch his boy, waking her up in the process.

"Oh, thank you, Papa! Thank you so much!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just know this...If you mess up, even once, that's it. No second chances."

"Never ever?"

"Not for a year. Or something like that."

"Don't worry, Papa. I promise. I won't let you down."

"It's too early to be making promises..."

The royal pair look down to see the halfway turned face of the girl lazily staring at them.

"I don't know what you both are planning, but go back to sleep."

With that, she lays her head back down. To Bowser, this was a sign that she wasn't in the best of moods. But to Jr., this just means Mama Lynn needs help getting her tired butt out of bed so that they can play.

"Wakey-wakey, Mama!"

A soft groan-like growl was her reply.

"Son, why don't we let her rest a bit more?"

"But today's the day I was going to race Mama in karting."

"And you still can. Just...Let her sleep for like, what, another hour or two sound okay for you, spitfire?"

She gave a thumbs up.

"See? After that, she'll be more than happy to go karting with you. But for now..."

"Okay."

Jr. lightly pats her head.

"Sweet dreams, Mama."

"...Thank you, sweetie."

Rolling over and moving onto the edge of the bed, Bowser puts his son down to put on his shell before casting a glance at the weary woman whose form barely makes a dent in his oversized bed.

"You really didn't sleep much, did you?"

She shook her head.

"Do you need anything? You know, other than the extra rest."

"I'm fine. Just tired."

Keeping it to just two-word sentences? The girl really must be more tired than he first thought.

"Papa, catch."

Jr. slides his father's shell over to the bed and Bowser scoops it up with one hand.

"Thanks."

Getting up, the King dons his shell and approaches his desk. He looks over a few things, gathering a few parchments and a large book. Jr. is curious about what his father has but figures it's grownup stuff and he can bug his Papa about it once they leave the room. No need to bother Mama, that would only make her more tired and less likely to want to play with him.

"Come along, Jr., it's time to let Lynsie be."

"Okay, Papa. See you later, Mama."

"...Laters...*yawn* sweeties..."

Bowser blushed a little. Did...Did she just...No. She's just tired. She didn't mean it. It was a slip of the sleepy tongue. Jr. patted his father's leg with a knowing smirk before the big boss Papa shook his head clear and ushered the snickering child out of the room, yet not before looking back once more.

"*whisper* You should kiss her."

Not even needing to look, Bowser flicks the back of Jr.'s head, making the boy laugh and run away.

"I'm locking the door. If you leave, remember to unlock it."

Silence.

"Lynsie?"

"...Okay."

He sighs and shuts the door.

"Note to self...When the woman says she wants to sleep, let her do so."

Shifting the things around in his hands so he can open the book, the Koopa King flips to a bookmarked page and scrolls his eyes down to the highlighted passage.

"Great, that time of the month already. *long groan* I hate Coram Ipso Rege day."

Latin for "In the presence of the king himself", this was the day where once a month, the citizens of the Kingdom are able to stand before Bowser without fear and have the opportunity to be heard or to express their views on current events/situations going on in the Kingdom. This was going to be a long day for him. One that was probably going to make him hit the bottle before bed, that's for sure.

[Meanwhile: In Castle Three]

The halls at night were filled with the sounds of grueling battle that only petered off in the first shine of day's light. The smell of burnt vegetable stew lingered in the stone walls and wafted into the air when the exit door to the castle opened, releasing from its cold depths the victors of the fight...The Brothers. Though it isn't Mario that steps out first, but Luigi. The soft-spoken and typically cowardly brother, now holds his head high and stands strong as he helps support his sibling on his shoulders.

The fight with Wart was a harder fought battle than they were expecting and even while they were prepared for it, it was still something they had a tough time with. Wart was a master in his skill of handling his bubbles and water. It took many hours for the brothers to devise a plan that forced Wart to stick to a pattern of attack, but once that was successful, Wart was no match for the barrage of vegetable that was shoved down his big fat mouth. Yet even with this win under their belt, it didn't come without a win for Wart, even if only a minor one.

During the last leg of the fight, Wart had managed to use Mario's brotherly protective nature against him. He focused on harming Luigi and knew Mario would do anything to stop his Weegee from being hurt with Luigi being none the wiser. All it took was one well-placed shot of highly pressurized water aimed at Luigi and Mario pushing him out of the way to take the shot instead. The result? Three sounds. The first, the hard thud of Mario being slammed into the stone walls. The second, the spine-chillingly loud snap of bones. And the third, Mario howling in pain. This broke Mario's right leg and, if he knew his body better, his coccyx, more commonly referred to as the tailbone.

Thus the reason for Luigi's current state of being the one that defeated Wart and why he was acting as his brother's crutches. Now a Super Mushroom would easily heal this damage or any other healing item really, but none lasted long in the fight with Wart. It will be a long trek leaving the Frozen Zone to enter the Water Zone. The cold being the biggest factor. But Luigi must press onward. Not only can Mario heal up when they reach a town, but they can restock with Nabbit and get the information that they need for the Bosses in the next four castles.

"How are you feeling, bro?"

"Like-a something is crammed up my butt."

"I think that's just-a your pride."

"No...*yelp* No, there's something broken alright."

"Hope it wasn't your hip. You're not that-a old."

"We're the same age. Just-a minute or two apart. So no age jokes, because like-a always, you're not far behind me, beanpole."

"..."

Luigi stops for a bit before walking again.

"Luigi?"

"Huh?"

"Something the matter?"

"No."

"Then why did-a you pause there for a moment?"

"Oh, no reason. Just-a considering whether or not you'd bounce if I'd drop you, butterball."

Mario bops Luigi's head, but Luigi just laughs.

"That's not funny."

"What? It will be helping you. You need to ice that bottom of-a yours, and what better than the snow?"

"Oh, I get it now. Mr. L is thinking he can come out and be all cool. Tough break for you. But if you want to be the Green Machine, then why not build something that will make this easier for us both."

Mr. L's abilities are largely the same as those of Luigi. He runs and jumps just like Luigi, with low traction and a high jump. He also has the ability to Super Jump, a skill that Luigi himself had to learn at a later date. However, Mr. L has some skills that Luigi doesn't or merely hasn't yet shown, namely his inventiveness. Though Luigi has been known to have run a mechanical-themed board in some the parties Mario throws, his mechanical skills haven't been consistently shown to match that of Mr. L. Mr. L has the intelligence to build, upgrade, and pilot his own robot, which he calls Brobot, pioneering the art he refers to as brobotics. But the one thing Mario forgets is that Mr. L doesn't bow to the man in red.

"Just-a because you're in red doesn't mean you're strong or that I have to do a thing you say. I'm only helping you because he wants to. So zip your lip, Mr. Jumpsallthetime, and be happy you're not being made to walk it off."

"*groan* I forgot you were nutjob insano. I don't know what's worse. The pain of broken bones or you yapping my ears off."

"You want pain? Those overalls are so played out."

"*gasp* You take that back!"

"Ah ha ha. Did that wound your fragile pride?"

"You're a jerk."

"I know. But you know what else?"

"What?"

"I don't care."

With that, he lets Mario go and the Hero in Red topples over, swearing in pain.

"Mamma-mia! That #%*&$ stings!"

"Now-now, no need to curse. Not when Weegee can hear you."

"When I heal...I'm-a gonna kick your butt."

"Why? Luigi didn't do anything wrong? Why punish him?"

"I mean you!"

"But you'll never know when I'm-a in control. So why not just be a good brother and let me do what I do best."

"*wince* And what's that? Being a huge tool?"

Mr. L glares.

"If I wanted to laugh at a joke, your face is inspiration enough!"

"Why you...!"

Mario is cut off when Mr. L picks him up and holds him up high by his overall straps.

"Now you listen and listen good. I'm-a tired of-a being Player 2. It's-a my time to shine! ME! Not you!"

"You know you love being my sidekick. Why else would you do it for so long?"

"Gee, that's funny. When do I ever have the chance not to be the sidekick?! Never! You always hog the spotlight! Remember the Power Tennis Tournament? Remember what happened when I won?"

"You won?"

He drops Mario and he screams, spooking the animals in the surrounding area.

"Yes, I won! I did a victory dance and everything! Then you appeared. When you arrived on stage applauding, I thought it was the best day of my life. My big shot brother is here to support me and tell me I did a great job. But no...You pat me on my back, like you cared, then told me 'Nice job' and 'Way to go'. But then, you intentionally step on my foot out of jealousy and really grind the heel into it while laughing in my face. Do you know how much you hurt me? Do you even care? You think you're a hero, but I know what you really are. You're worst than any of the villains we face. Because at least with them, you know they're bad and will do bad things. You, on the other hand, will backstab your own brother because you don't want to stop being the guy everyone loves. Well, what about me? What about Luigi?! When's my time?! Don't answer that, because now is that time! And to show you I'm-a the better man in all this...I'm-a still going to help you. But only if you say the magic words."

Mario sneers back coldly.

"Oh? And what's that?"

"Say I'm-a Player 1."

"Is that all? Okay...I'm-a Player 1."

Mario's smirk is met with a kick of snow to the face before Mr. L walks off.

"Have fun freezing to death, Mr. Iamafatredpieceof#%*&$!"

Shocked that such words even would come out of Luigi's mouth stuns Mario long enough to lose sight of his very pissed off brother.

"Luigi? Hey! Get back here! You can't leave me here! You said it yourself! He won't let you let me die! You'll be breaking Mamma's heart!"

All Mario heard was the echo of his voice fade into the whispering of the icy wind.

"Fine! Be that way, you big green baby! I'm-a Super Mario! I can do this! I can do this without you!"

So, being a big boy super duper hero that he is, Mario flopped in the snow trying to move but only succeeded in making himself look more and more like a total buffoon.

"Hey!"

Then he began to shout to the heavens...Wait...Huh?

"Yes! You!"

Dude! What are you doing? You can't break the fourth-wall like this.

"You're the narrator, right? Why are you making me out to be a bad guy?"

Am I really making you out as a bad guy? Turn that mirror back at you, Mario. I don't HAVE to make you look bad. You do a way better job at doing so than I ever could.

"What?!"

Dude, do you even know you're own history?

"What's in the past, is the past. It doesn't count to the current storyline."

Uh...Yeah. It does. The kids that grew up with you are now adults. These adults remember everything you've done and the over-all rap sheet you have is often very disturbing. Sure, the kids of today don't really care about the story, Mario runs and jumps to save the day. But the hardcore fans want to know the story, they want to understand the world and its people. And when you look at everything...I have to be honest with you man, you are a messed up guy.

"That is not true!"

Oh really? Allow me to list off a few things. See if any of this rings a bell for ya, Mr. Jumpman.

"We don't-a mention that name!"

Okay...Mr. Video.

"Not cool! I was going through a phase."

To bad! I'm the narrator, you listen. Tell me if this sounds familiar..."HELP! HELP!" cries the beautiful maiden, Pauline, as she is dragged up a labyrinth of structural beams by the ominous Donkey Kong. "SNORT. SNORT." Foreboding music warns of the eventual doom that awaits the poor girl, lest she somehow is miraculously rescued. "But wait! Fear not, fair maiden. Little Mario, the carpenter, is in hot pursuit of you this very moment." Throwing fate to the wind, risking life and limb, or worse, little Mario tries desperately to climb the mighty fortress of steel, to save the lovely Pauline from the evil Mr. Kong. Little Mario must dodge all manner of obstacles, fireballs, plummeting beams and a barrage of exploding barrels fired at him by Donkey Kong. Amidst the beautiful girl's constant pleas for help, little Mario gallantly battles his way up the barriers, he is taunted and teased by Donkey Kong, who brazenly struts back and forth, beating his chest in joyful exuberance at the prospect of having the beautiful Pauline all to himself. It is up to little Mario to get to the top. For it is there, and only there, that he can send the mighty Donkey Kong to his mortal doom. Leaving Little Mario and the beautiful Pauline to live happily ever after. "SIGH. SIGH.".

"Wow..."

I know, very cheesy. But heck, it was the 80s.

"That made it sound so cool!"

...Wow. Just wow.

"So how was that suppose make me be the bad guy?"

Donkey Kong was actually your pet ape. The only reason Donkey Kong escaped in the first place was because you were abusing him. The poor beast suffered years of physical abuse and neglect, can you blame him for reacting poorly when he finally got his shot at freedom? We don't blame the abused dog if it bites the mailman, so can we blame DK for grabbing Pauline and simply running away? He didn't even hurt anybody, he just ran. And we all know what happens next: you, possessed by the invincibility of rage, hurdles every obstacle in the pursuit of your frightened pet. Barrels will not stop you, fireballs will not stop you, ramshackle construction sites will not stop you, nothing will stop you, not even death; until you slowly but surely chase down the cornered abused terrified ape, and drop him from the top of a skyscraper.

"..."

That's not even half as bad as what you did to Donkey Kong Jr. If I may...After the events with Donkey Kong, as revenge for kidnapping Pauline, you've recaptured Donkey Kong and now his son Donkey Kong Jr. has to save him. Donkey Kong Jr. traveled from the jungle to the big city to get his father back, climbing vines, avoiding enemies and jumping on platforms along the way. However, every time Donkey Kong Jr. gets close to freeing his father, you just push him further away. Finally, in your hideout atop a skyscraper, you and Jr. meet at last. Donkey Kong Jr. had to put six keys into their keyholes to free his dad and make the platform they're standing on disappear. Donkey Kong and you both fall down and Donkey Kong Jr. catches his father. But you...You just hit the ground. Donkey Kong Jr. carries his dad off back to their home as you get up then run after them, only to be kicked right back out by Donkey Kong, forcing you to flee.

"So what was bad in this one?"

You seriously don't remember? You attempted to stop the young ape from getting his own father back and released various types of traps mainly consisting of other animals and electricity. The main bad here is that you decide that it's important to not only keep Donkey Kong in captivity forever but to actually kill the adorable son that tried to rescue his father instead of imprisoning him. And to top it all off you whipped the animals that worked for you. Not only making it so that this young ape has to die just because it doesn't want to live/be raised alone, presumably just trying to save what is apparently the only family he has left, but you send out slave labor to kill him. And this slave labor is treated as poorly as it possibly can. From alligators to birds with abnormally large beaks, to vultures, you whip every single animal you can get those gloved hands on. But not only that, you dangled fruit just out of their reach, torturing them, letting them know who's in charge.

"It wasn't that bad."

Really? You treated his father better when he was your pet. You were just out of college, a bachelor with a pet ape. You forced poor Donkey Kong to perform at the circus by juggling pineapples and dodging fireballs. Whenever he either got hit by a fireball or drops a pineapple, you'd laugh at him.

"I'm-a sensing a theme here."

You suck with animal, dude. And you're just as bad with people.

"Oh yeah? Prove it!"

One word...Yoshi.

"Damn it."

Yoshies helped save and raise you when you were a baby...Why as an adult is it okay to sacrifice them for an extra jump? When the dinosaurs of the Yoshi clan eat certain enemies they get the power to fly or spit fire or even cooler stuff. This is an amazing skill, and a wondrous, giving animal that should be treasured, preserved and kept safe. Instead, you drop them into pits of certain death! What the hell? Why is this necessary? Can't you climb? Can't you just get a running start, or maybe go somewhere to eat the right enemies so that you and your brave loyal friend can both make it to save Peach? No. Apparently, this is too hard for you. You're the kind of guy that feels he has to resort to launching his poor unsuspecting friend into what I can only imagine is a limitless chasm filled with death just long enough to realize that someone they trusted has betrayed them. This will be any Yoshi's last thought if they are hatched by you.

"Uh..."

Not only that, but how is it you tell a Yoshi to eat something?

"I can explain..."

You punch them in the back of the head! Do you know what kind of damage that does to the brain? Why are you not in jail?! Oh, that's right, they don't live long enough to tell anyone what happened.

"Now that's out of line."

I'm not even done yet.

"Oh come on."

Speaking of Peach...Most victims of any kind of assault, no matter how minor, if they have the right support systems, eventually seek out some form of protection or insurance to make sure that what happened to them will never happen to them again. Princess Peach isn't that smart. And I don't know, maybe you trust her more than you should, or maybe you just don't care, but either way, you're being a completely negligent jerkwad by letting her get captured time and time again. If it's really that dangerous in the Mushroom Kingdom with Bowser around, then why the hell doesn't everyone just move out of the Mushroom Kingdom? With the amount of building demolitions, explosions, flying bombs, completely crazy stuff running around, the Mushroom Kingdom seems like the worse place to live. Either way, through your travels, you've has encountered warp whistles, giant boots that protect you and help you get around, suits that make you powerful, invincibility stars, the ability to throw fire, the ability to travel underwater faster than a normal human being and, most importantly, mushrooms that make you a giant. Why don't you share this with Peach?!

"I do! She just...Doesn't use them. I think she just throws them in a closet somewhere."

If you bothered to not just save her, which, as it turns out, is really quite the bandage solution when it comes to her, but actually protect her, you'd not only teach her how to fight, but you'd arm her with the weapons that have allowed you to save the day countless times.

"You know how she is. She doesn't listen to anyone. She thinks she knows everything. It's like talking to a brick wall."

Just think about how much easier life would be if she had the Mushroom Kingdom's version of pepper spray on her at all times. Problem solved.

"I know!"

Not only that but if she's had the power to fly for YEARS, then why the hell doesn't she just do that all the time?

"It's more of a floating ability and not really flying. But I see what you mean."

If Princess Peach could defend herself, we wouldn't have to deal with all the political turmoil in the Mushroom Kingdom, and most importantly, we wouldn't have to deal with you being a huge butthole.

"Hey!"

Now for my best piece of evidence...Your brother.

"I don't want to talk about him."

Have you ever had an errand you needed to run? A really important, life-or-death errand that you had to deal with that you were not only responsible for but would endanger other people's lives? You have. You do all the time for some reason, most likely because of your high-maintenance girlfriend, or another. And when you do, you bring your brother and treat him like a second-class citizen the entire time.

"I'm-a not gonna take this from some voice in another dimension."

Oh yeah? Then go. Walk away. Stand on that messed up leg and leave. I dare you.

"...I hate my life today."

You know all those power-ups that make a person stronger, more powerful and that increase their ability to survive in the life or death situations that are scattered around the Mushroom Kingdom? You always get first dibs. Not ONCE has Luigi ever been given the Player 1 spot. Only in his own stories, but that's basically like saying that sure, your brother never gets served first at dinner at your house but he always eats first when he's alone!

"This again?"

That not only doesn't cater to having a healthy fraternal relationship, but it means that you are an entitled egotist who thinks the world revolves not only around you because that would be too humble for the great Super Mario, but it revolves around your problems. If I were Luigi, I'd have probably snapped at you too after developing an alternate persona because my pain of a brother keeps crushing my hopes and dreams. And to top it all off, at the end of the day, Luigi doesn't even get to reap the fruits of the labor. You get all the glory and Luigi rarely ever gets a simple thank you. So not only is Luigi being dragged along for something that shouldn't even be his problem, he's being dragged along for a thankless life-threatening deed. Luigi, therefore, is the greatest hero of the Mario franchise.

"Oh heck no! No way am I second banana to little Weegee."

Sucks to be you, jerk. You may be the hero in small print, but in the big picture, Luigi is #1.

"You change things so I'm-a not bad and become the good guy again. Do it right now!"

Dude, I can't change the direction of the narrative, I only reiterate the present action.

"So I'm-a stuck like this? Am...Am I really gonna die out here?"

Oh for the love of all that is! Have you learned nothing from what I've been telling you?

"Um...Refresh my memory?"

Swallow your stupid pride and say Luigi is Player 1! That is literally all you have to do and we can move on the rest of the story!

"Never!"

Are you really so ego driven that you're willing and knowingly choosing to die a terrible frozen death than to let your brother be the main character?

"Uh..."

Unbelievable. Well, I tried. Good luck dying.

"Wait! Is there something going to happen? You know...Something that saves me?"

Heck if I know.

"But you said..."

Dude, I'm not even real. I'm the manifestation of your conscious given a voice in your head to contemplate your life before death sets in. You've been sitting in this snow long enough for hypothermia to set in. I give you five minutes before game over, then again, neither of us are doctors.

"But...I am a doctor."

Come on, be honest for once. That medical degree is not necessarily legitimate.

"Yeah. Still, coin well spent."

I'm not going to miss you. I'm ashamed to be part of you. But I do hope you become a better person in the next game. And if by some miracle you live...At least try not to be so pathetic.

"Wait...So...I've been talking to myself this whole time? How come you don't-a have an accent?"

*winds blowing*

"Super...I'm-a going to die and I'm-a crazy. *sigh* Maybe it's right. I am pathetic. I treat others like trash. I can't keep a job. I'm-a terrible with money. I've killed so many. And for what? The money? The fame? The cake? The women? What do I have to show for it? Sure, I'm-a hero and looked up to be all. Everywhere I go, I'm-a recognized and treated like royalty. ... What was I talking about again?"

The cold setting in his veins, Mario's body is shutting down.

"Heh...Must be really funny. Headline: Super Mario found frozen to death and smelling like vegetable frog soup. Under that, Bowser and Peach wedding accepts ice Mario as decoration. *snickering* The photos will be hilarious!"

Clearly losing his mind, only now Mario really lets his life flash before his eyes. Seeing all the good, the bad, the ugly, the bad again, then the really ugly, and then the tiny good. Yet amongst these thoughts, something sparks in his small heart...Regret.

"I'm-a such an idiot. I'm-a gonna die and all because I couldn't be nice to my own brother. *whimpers* Luigi...I'm-a sorry. I wish I could've said that sooner. If the wind can carry my last wish, I want you to know something. There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost. The truth is I've always been a fool. It's better to live as your own man, than as a fool in someone else's dream. I know you can do better than me, bro. I've just been scared. *cries* Scared you'd get hurt doing the things I do. I guess somewhere along the line, I got scared of you. Scared of you becoming better than me and I tried to keep you down. Yet you're too strong. Even I can't keep you down. I know you feel and get treated like Player 2 all the time...But...You will always be my Player 1. *sobs* I love you, Luigi! I freaking love you, bro!"

"I love you too, you nitwit."

The sudden voice followed by the feeling of him being lifted out of the snow alerts Mario to his savior.

"*sniffles* L-Luigi? You came back?"

"Bro, I never left. I was behind a tree this whole time. You know I wouldn't leave you."

This sounded like Luigi and not Mr. L.

"So...You...You heard all that?"

"The nice things you said? Yes. You talking to yourself? Also yes. The cold really got to you, bro."

Luigi, now holding his brother close in his arms, begins the long walk all over again. Mario wanted to complain about the embarrassing way he was being held, but he was in no position to really speak. He was getting a ride, his pain was numb with frost, and his brother was back to normal and warm.

"So Mario..."

"Yeah?"

"Am I really your Player 1?"

Mario paused. The talk he had with himself lingering in his head and the guilt that was building over the years, maybe it was the cold, but he didn't feel like playing the bad guy anymore.

"Yeah, bro. You really are."

Luigi's eyes shine.

"Thanks, Mario."

Could it really have been this simple? All it took to break this unhealthy cycle on them was for Luigi to snap at Mario and for Mario to nearly die. Okay, so it wasn't simple. And who knows how long it will last. But at least for now, they weren't at each other's throats and this self-esteem boost made Luigi move faster through the snow. Soon enough they'll make it to the Water Zone. It's only a matter of time.

[Meanwhile: In Bowser's Bedroom]

Slowly I stir awake during a long stretch and even longer yawn that reveals that I've been chewing on a pillow for some time.

"What was I dreaming about? Oh well..."

I fluff out the pillow and cram it into the bottom of the pile.

"No harm, no foul."

I slide out of bed with a light bounce and then fall to my knees.

"Okay...legs are still asleep."

I look around and spy a door.

"Good thing I know a way to fix that. But first..."

I crawl over to the main door and undo the lock.

"See Bowser? I was listening. It didn't seem like it, but I was."

With that little issue out of the way, I make my way over to the other side of the room and open the other door. Lucky for me, my guess of this door wasn't a closet but was his private bathroom.

"Sleepy legs stand no chance once in the relaxing waters of a nice long soak."

Bowser, being a very large guy, possesses very large accommodations. The sink alone is bathtub sized for a human. So his tub is like a mini-pool to me. The perfect size to just get lost in and relax for a bit. And that is what I intend to do before going about the day, or whatever time of the day this is, with the kids. So on goes the water, in goes some soap, and off goes all of my clothing in a neat little pile in the corner as I get in while it fills. Automatically, my body wakes up and loosens up as I float in the suds.

"*peaceful sigh* It's good to be the king."

[Meanwhile: In the Throne Room]

"*weary grumble* It sucks to be the king."

"What was that your majesty?"

"Huh? Nothing. How many more subjects are there to see me, Kamek?"

"Just one more then it's over."

"Thank god."

"I know you don't like this, but it's almost over."

"Next time, we're letting Jr. sit in and let him see how this goes."

"Good idea. The boy can use the experience. *unintelligible mumble* Okay...Next, a Shelldin Koopa."

In walks a Koopa with a gold shell, his beak pointed up with the expression of someone with narcissism and inflated ego.

"Greetings, your eminence. I am Dr. Shelldin Koopa and I have much to inform you."

"*sarcastic* Oh, I bet you do."

"...Sarcasm?"

"How'd you guess?"

"Oh good, I'm getting better at recognizing it."

Bowser groans and shifts in his throne.

"Get on with it please."

"Right. *ahem* I propose that no 'hootenannies', sing-alongs, raucous laughter, the clinking of glasses, celebratory gunfire, or barbershop quartets take place after 10.p.m. as well as no whistling, no spontaneous Biohazard drills, or Tuvan throat singing."

Both Bowser and Kamek share odd looks.

"Why?"

"To maintain a pristine night's sleep. If our neuroreceptors don't get enough REM sleep, they lose their sensitivity to serotonin and norepinephrine. Which leads to impaired cognitive function. And Sire, I can't tell you enough how much I need my ability to process thoughts."

"And why is that?"

"I'm a theoretical physicist."

"And what does that mean?"

"Theoretical physics is a branch of physics which employs both mathematical models and abstractions of physics in an attempt to explain natural phenomena. Its central core is mathematical physics, though other conceptual techniques are also used. The goal is to rationalize, explain and predict physical phenomena. The advancement of science depends in general on the interplay between experimental studies and theory. In some cases, theoretical physics adheres to standards of mathematical rigor while giving little weight to experiments and observations. For example, while developing special relativity, Albert Einstein was concerned with the Lorentz transformation which left Maxwell's equations invariant but was apparently uninterested in the Michelson-Morley experiment on Earth's drift through a luminiferous ether. On the other hand, Einstein was awarded the Nobel Prize for explaining the photoelectric effect, previously an experimental result lacking a theoretical formulation."

Somewhere, a cricket is chirping.

"Did you understand any of that?"

"Some, but not all."

The smartypants Koopa is unamused.

"Also...Once a year, I'd like it if the Kingdom takes one day to celebrate the contributions I give to the land, both real and imaginary."

"No."

"Oh...Well then...Any changes in landscape or Kingdom itself should have to be approved by a committee, myself included, which meets on alternate years."

"Again I ask...Why?"

"I don't like change."

"And again, I say no. Got anything else that doesn't sound like a bunch of crazy nonsense?"

"A rule that makes it so others have to put up with idiosyncrasies a.k.a. my 'craziness'."

"Denied."

"Very well...Then how about implanting microchips in the skulls of others that explode when they say something stupid?"

"Not a bad idea...But no."

The brainy Koopa is baffled.

"Odd. This whole interaction seems to have been an exercise in futility."

"Maybe next time, don't to push unreasonable requests that don't benefit anyone apart from yourself."

"If that's the case...You won't be seeing me again."

"*sarcastic* Oh no. That's such a shame. We're really going to miss you."

"Just when I think I've gotten the hang of sarcasm...You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want. It's exhausting!"

"*sarcastic* That sounds so terrible. You poor thing."

"You know what. I don't always recognize sarcasm, but I do right now and I don't appreciate it."

"I'm sorry to hear that. As you know, the primary focus of the Koopa Kingdom is people's feelings."

"If that's sarcasm, please save it for our enemies."

"Let me make this abundantly clear...Get out. Now!"

"I'll go. But not before I leave a strongly written complaint about how absurd you..."

The Koopa is rendered silent, completely engulfed in the raging flames spewing forth from the maw of a very annoyed Bowser in a frustrated roar. When the fire ceases, all that remains is a gold shell and a small pile of coins.

"A bit much, don't you think?"

"I consider this a personal record. I only roasted one person. You know that number is normally higher when I'm this bugged."

"True. So...What do I do with that?"

"Keep the coins and toss the shell in with the others in storage."

"*sigh* One day, these shells will be filled once more and that warehouse will be empty."

"We can only hope, Kamek."

Kamek floats over to the remains, taking the coins and shell away. When a Koopa passes, their shell is saved and made ready to be used again by the next generation. However, with the rate of deaths caused by the Mushroom Kingdom heroes, the number of shells is vastly bigger than the number of newborns. Koopa egg-laying varies according to the type. Some species only lay a single egg. Others lay up to 30. Even within some very similar types, there can be considerable variations. But a typical clutch of eggs is usually between 6-10 eggs. But whether or not those eggs hatch is all up to how they born and how they are tended to. If the mother is overstressed in the laying process, it will impact the eggs and her willingness to take care of them. Which is why there's the saying of "A happy mate will incubate".

Now that all that bothersome boring stuff is done, Bowser leaves his throne and heads to get a drink from his stash. Lord knows, after all that mess, he really needed it. Checking his phone for the time, it was now well into the late afternoon. He had missed both breakfast and lunch, making his stomach very grumpy for being empty for so long. First, he'll fill up on bubbly. Then, he'll stuff his face with as much as his heart desires. And when done, he'll sleep like a baby. At least by this hour, Lynsie should've already left his room. He only hoped that she remembered to unlock the door before leaving the room.

Reaching his room, Bowser was relieved that at least one thing was done right and the girl had been listening to him, finding his chamber door unlocked. Entering the room, all seemed normal apart from her shell still being there. Maybe she forgot it or didn't have time to put it on before one of the kids dragged her away, no big deal really. Ah, his nightstand bottle of champagne. How the bubbles called to him with the need of dulling the last several hours from his memories. Not much was left in the said bottle, so why not just down it all? Besides, if he let it sit any longer it won't be as good anymore.

When leftover, uncorked champagne that has been left out unrefrigerated overnight, bacteria begin to multiply and the bubbly begins to lose some of its bubble and buzz, but it is still safe to drink. The flavor and fizz begin to diminish after just a few hours, but it is still drinkable for several days. Exposure to oxygen is the biggest culprit in wine spoilage. Wines with lower pH such as white wines, including champagne, are more resistant to spoilage because of their higher acidity levels. However, once exposed to air, all wines begin to oxidize, which changes the drink's flavor and microbial concentrations. In a matter of days, acetobacter bacteria begin to multiply, changing the sweet champagne to acidic vinegar. Warmer temperatures speed spoilage, so champagne left on the counter will turn sour more quickly than if it were stored in the refrigerator. Wines left out for longer periods may begin to develop a fungus layer called "mother of vinegar". The carbonation in champagne is due to the carbon dioxide produced during the second fermentation. Under pressure, the carbon dioxide remains intact. However, once the cork is popped the pressure is released and the CO2 escapes rapidly. After just a few hours the champagne will go flat and lose its characteristic fizz. Alcohol evaporates quickly. When left unopened and exposed to air, the alcohol in champagne quickly dissipates. The glass that left you giggly last night will hardly elicit a snicker the next day. But Bowser knows better than to leave bottles open, so his finery lasts much longer.

"*satisfied sigh* Mmmm...Much better."

He plays with the now empty bottle, tossing it up and catching it to do so again.

"I wonder...If I request it now, would the chefs make me a Meteor Meal with a Gorgeous Steak on the side? That would so hit the spot right now. ...Yeah, I'm calling them."

And so he hit a speed dial on his phone.

"This the Kitchen? Good. Can you guys make a Meteor Meal and Gorgeous Steak then send it all up to my room? I'm starving! Oh! And add some Red Dragon Ramen."

The call ends and his stomach growls with anticipation.

"I know, just be patient. Soon you'll be as satisfied as when we tackled that all you can eat buffet tour."

His stomach rumbles in the memory, but then the rumbles began to not feel right.

"Uh oh...Wait...This could be a false alarm. But...Better be safe than sorry."

Heading to his bathroom, something else begins to alert Bowser's senses. The refreshing scent of manly confident and swagger, which happens to smell like lime and cedarwood. That's when it hits him. Someone is using his private bathroom and his body wash! This will not stand! He kicks the door open.

"Who the heck do you think you...!?"

There was a subtle splash of something submerged in the tub water and it made him grin devilishly.

"Oh, that's cute. You think you can hide. Okay, I'll play along. *teasing* Oh no. Where did the intruder go? They could be anywhere."

He made his way slowly over to the tub, using the passing time to force his newest victim to show themselves.

"Come out, come out, you dirty little snake. You can't hold your breath forever."

Bubbles steadily breach the surface and Bowser was ready to grab this poor sap before drowning them. Though this idea changes when long brown locks become more apparent and hair like that is only on one person in the whole castle, making him back away blushing before her head came out of the water.

"Um...H-Hi there."

She giggled in nervous embarrassment and he couldn't blame her, this wasn't something that could be made normal. He wasn't even facing her, eye contact would be WAY too weird right now, so it's just her staring at his glorious shell. At least nothing creepy or perverted can happen if no one sees anything.

"H-Hey...uh...I thought you were with the kids."

"Yeah...I woke up late and my body was still half asleep, so I took a chance by washing up to wake up. If that makes any sense."

"N-No, I get it. Sometimes I need to wake up with a shower. It's not a problem."

"...If it means anything, you have a great choice in cleansers."

"Oh yeah?"

"I really like this scent. There's this citrus hint blended with a type of wood. Very nice."

She likes it? He uses it all the time and never did she say anything. Wait, never mind, it fades off quickly because of the heat of his body. No wonder she's never noticed before. Cedarwood has a warming and gentle action on the mind and body. It also has an amazing scent to the senses. It's a great option for massage as it alleviates stress and muscular tension. As a bonus, it's also an aphrodisiac.

"Did...Did you need to use the bathroom?"

That burst his thought bubbles but not the ones floating in his brain.

"Oh! No. I was just seeing who had the nerve to use my stuff."

"Well, nerve had nothing to do with it. But you know me by now. I'm not one to shy away from things. Even if they're about you."

That peaked his interest.

"Being a bit brave, don't you think?"

"How so?"

"While I did let you sleep in my bed, I never said you were allowed in my bathroom or able to use my things. The way I see it, you're thinking you can be naughty and get away with it."

He smirked and just barely looked over his shoulder, making her lower into the water to avoid him.

"That's not what my intentions are."

"I don't know...You being so comfortable around me to the point that you haven't even once told me to get out while you're in your birthday suit? That screams naughty to me."

She's flustered to the point her face matches his hair in color.

"Sir, you insult my honor."

Even in a vulnerable state, she wouldn't let that fire he enjoys burn low. This, mixed with the bubbles affecting him, was letting himself get cockier than he probably should be in this type of situation.

"And what are you going to do about it, spitfire?"

"Don't make me get out of this tub to slap that goofy smirk off your face."

She was bluffing. She had to be. No way she would actually do that. No sane woman would.

"You wouldn't dare. Even you aren't foolish enough to do so."

"Are you so sure?"

Part of him knows she meant that. She wasn't like other girls. She'd strike him if he pushed hard enough. But God knows he loves to tease her. And that will one day be his undoing. This was almost that day. As his current state called her out on the bluff by him attempting to turn around to face her. The moment he did so, there was a splashing sound and the next thing he saw was a small glimpse cleavage then water in his eyes.

"*roar* GRRRROAR! W-What the hell, woman?!"

She took advantage of the soapy water temporarily blinding him to exit the bath and wrap up in a towel the size of a blanket.

"You know you can tease me, I'm completely fine with that. It's part of the game we play after all. But I will not let you overstep boundaries that will turn this sweet friendship into something sour. Do you understand, my King?"

He rubbed his eyes thoroughly, gaining back enough vision to make out objects and her collecting her belongings. He growls, not at her, but at himself. She had prevented something stupid from even starting that would've cost him his end game reward which she has no clue about. He felt like a fool.

"Are you alright?"

She comes to his side, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, making him flinch and blush a little.

"Yeah...Yeah, I'm okay. Just need a moment."

"Is it okay if I redress in your room?"

"Yes."

She gives him a look of concern but leaves him be to go dress. He's quiet for a bit, waiting for her to be far enough away to not hear him.

"This is so hard...Why can't you just be on my level? I want you, I need you, I love you. I thought I could live without romance. But then you came to me. Now I know that I will go on loving you eternally. Won't you please...Please be my own? Please..."

"*muffled* Bowser?"

He rubs his face and straightens up.

"Yes?"

"*muffled* You can come out now. If you're ready that is."

He sighs and swallows a worrying lump in his throat. Kamke told him not to do anything. To let her come to him. But really, how is she suppose to know to go to him if he doesn't even try? No more. No more waiting for her to find the breadcrumbs that aren't even scattered. He was going to plant the seed of interest in her heart and he was going to do that now. Exiting the bathroom, that scent of lime hinted cedarwood came to him strong and it smothered his senses as he came to her.

"Bowser? Is everything alright?"

He says not a single word. Just meeting her gaze with his fiery eyes.

"Bow...!"

She's rendered silent when he suddenly embraces her.

"B-Bowser?"

"Hold me close and hold me tight."

Her concern grew as she did as told.

"Are you frightened?"

"More like confused. But this is fine. I've told you before, I'm here for you if and when you need me."

"Lynsie...People are fragile creatures and they need too many things to live."

"Huh?"

"They need an atmosphere with the right amount of oxygen, water, food, gravity, and so on. That goes for everything. Including me. But I've discovered that I only need one thing to make all these efforts worth it though."

"You have?"

He nods.

"Do you know what that is?"

"What?"

He leans into her ear.

"That thing is you."

She looks at him confused.

"I don't understand."

He rolls his eyes.

"I know you're not naïve. I'm saying I like you."

"You...like me? As in, you have feelings for me?"

"Yes."

"...Is that a joke?"

"Huh? No. I mean it."

She lets him go and now he's confused.

"Lynsie?"

"Bowser...I...I can't do this."

"Wha...W-Why? Don't tell me you've actually fallen for one of the kids."

"No! God, we talked about this. They're kids."

"Then what's the problem? I thought you liked me too?"

"I do like you. Hell, you're the first guy to treat me with the same amount of respect I give out."

"Then why not give me a shot?"

"Because...You're marrying Peach."

"So? I don't love her. You know I'm just using her to get the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Motives don't matter. She will still be your wife. If anything happens between us once the marriage is official, it's adultery. And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be your royal mistress."

"But...I...We...You..."

She moves out of his hold.

"I'm sorry. I have to go tend to the children now."

"Wait! Please don't go! At least let me try something before you dismiss me completely."

"I don't know..."

"Please?"

His voice was pleading and his eyes begging. She knew this was something that might be regrettable later, but really, how could she be so cruel as to deny him when he's willing to put aside his pride.

"Oh...Fine. Just promise me it's not going to be..."

Once more he silences her, only this time not with a hug, but a kiss. At first, his hands were on her waist. This was a good option as they've never kissed like this before and he was feeling unsure about what to do with his hands. They rested lightly on her waist, gently gripping her hips while the kissing continued. After a bit, she tried to use her hands to end the kiss. Normally, this sort of thing put out the message that this means they want to stop, even going so far as to apply pressure to his chest to push away, but he wasn't getting the hint.

Keeping things going, Bowser tries to be a bit bold. Feeling comfortable enough with her, and having a desire to do more than just kiss that he hopes is mutual, he starts using his hands to explore the rest of her body. His hands slide up her sides before running down her arms and back. Going slowly so he can gauge her reaction. She's hesitant and reluctant at first, but when he slows things down by pausing the kiss, she didn't push him anymore.

They merely stared at one another. Each one afraid to speak first. Bowser wasn't sure if he had screwed up or not, he couldn't read her at all to know if she was okay or about to smack him. He was about to say something when she suddenly grabs his face with both hands and gently pulls him closer to restart the kiss. Bowser was frozen on the spot. Her small hands gently caressing his cheeks, gliding their way down his neck, and coming to rest on his shoulders. Was this her way of accepting him? Or was she just playing the role as part of their little teasing game for payback? Whatever her reason for kissing him now, he didn't care. Her tenderness was all that his mind was paying attention to till it ended.

"*coos* Mmmmm...Why'd you stop?

"I wanted to get that out of my system."

She sounded so numb. Like she was trying to detach from the moment. It made him pout.

"So you really felt nothing? Not even a little bit?"

"I...I'm not saying I did, but I'm also not saying I didn't. Though it did feel oddly familiar for some reason. No clue why."

That made him a little nervous. Best not mention the drunk kissing right now.

"Yeah, that is odd...But...There's a chance? For us I mean."

"Please...Don't make this harder than it has to be."

She attempts to walk away, but he grabs her hand.

"Bowser, stop."

"Listen, you can go, but I want you to know...This spark we have...I'm not going to let it die. I respect that you don't want to do something that seems so disgraceful. But I can't stop the way I feel. Sometimes I wonder how I got through all these years when I didn't know you because I need you more than anything else now. So go. Take care of the children. Yet always know that when you're ready, I'm here for you and waiting to share these feelings with you as much as you want from me."

She trembled in his clutches, fighting her feelings and now this urge to weep. He waits a couple moments for his words to sink in before letting her go. She's still for a while, lost in contemplation. Slowly though, she makes her way to his chamber door and he sighs to himself, running a hand through his hair to calm himself. Maybe Kamek was right. Maybe this would've worked had he done nothing.

"Bowser..."

She was paused in the doorway, her eyes cast to the floor yet clearly showing her internal struggle.

"Lynsie?"

"...I...I'll think about it."

Or maybe Kamek doesn't know shit! She's willing to consider it! Yes! Bowser for the win!

"You will?"

"It's like I've been telling you...You deserve to be loved. Not liked, not lusted after, not settled for, but loved. You deserve for someone to be so enamored with you that they can't focus on anything else. You deserve for someone to be so lost in your eyes that they don't even notice your body. You deserve for someone to want to kiss your face just as much in the light of the day as they do it in the heat of the night. You deserve someone to want nothing from you but to know you. You deserve someone to listen to you for hours, just trying to crack the code that is your heart. You deserve someone to love every little piece of you, not just your face or your body or your availability. You deserve to be held by secure arms and kissed by familiar lips. You deserve loyalty, you deserve security, you deserve respect, and you deserve to be swept off your feet. I only want to see you and the kids happy. So if you believe that I can really grant such happiness...Then I want to do what I can to help make sure that wish comes true. But still, you have to let me do so on my terms. I'm not a toy. I'm not a mistress. I'm your friend and always will be. I just...*sniffles* I need to think more about this."

"Shhhhh...Don't cry."

Lost in her melancholy, she didn't notice him coming up behind her to stroke her hair sweetly.

"You know I don't like seeing you cry. Don't let it smother you. There's no time limit, just take as long as you need to sort things out. I only wanted to let you know how I feel."

"I know...Thank you, my King."

He nuzzles the top of her head.

"You are more than welcomed, spitfire."

With that, she takes her leave of him and he shuts the door, leaning his face on it in thought. He still had a chance with her. It blew his mind that after everything, she was giving him a shot. He had to have her now more than ever. She was his fate. She was his...wait...What's that thing called again? Oh yeah! A soulmate. A soulmate is not someone that comes into your life peacefully. It is someone who comes to make you question things, who changes your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone has idealized, but an ordinary person who manages to revolutionize your world in a second. That was Lynsie in a nutshell, his little spitfire. But he had to be patient or possibly ruin everything. She will come to him when ready. It's only a matter of time.

[Meanwhile: At the Cheep Cheep River Inn]

It had taken much of the day due to a sudden snowstorm, but Luigi had managed to get himself and his brother Mario out of the Frozen Zone to be in the Water Zone. Even luckier was them being recognized in the town on borderline and given free accommodations at the local Inn. Adding to this luck of theirs was Nabbit, who had just so happened to be staying in the room next door.

"So how is Mario?"

"He's sleeping right now, but we'll see how healed he'll be when he wakes up."

"I'll be honest with you, buddy. I didn't think the guy was capable of being so selfless like that."

"That's my bro. Just-a full of surprises."

"That's for sure."

"Hey, Nabbit...You wouldn't have happened to..."

"Have the low down on the other boss castles? Right here in my bag."

"Can I have it?"

"That depends...You have the coin for it?"

Luigi sighs.

"How much this time?"

"While I don't have information on all of the remaining castles, I did manage to get some great stuff on Castle Four and Five. Castle Six for some reason is being difficult to find information about. So...Let's make it thirty-five coins."

"That's the one in the Sky Zone, right?"

"Yep. Not an easy place for me to get to either. I can't fly."

"I understand."

Luigi pays the rabbit and Nabbit hands over two folders.

"Let's-a see...*mumbling to self* Dunk & Shoot? Never heard of them. Have you?"

"Dunk is a rabbit that plays basketball and has the ability to transform into a basketball. Shoot is also a rabbit but he plays soccer and has the ability to transform into a soccer ball. Word is they've been experimenting with combining the two sports and learning new things individually."

"Oh boy. Good thing we do all those sporting events."

"I don't think knowing sports will help you both in Castle Five."

Curious, Luigi looks in that castle's folder and when he reads about the boss his heart nearly stops.

"*fearful stammering*"

"Yeah, you know the Bowser is serious about crushing you when he's brought in the dragon siblings."

"Bonetail, Gloomtail, and Hooktail...I thought they were dead!"

"There's your problem. You guys beat people up to where they are unconscious or near death, but you never really check to see if they're actually dead. Hooktail merely fainted, not died. Gloomtail was hurt more, but again just fainted. And Bonetail, that dragon is so old and full of magic for a Dry, it wouldn't surprise me if it's somehow gained undead immortality. Best you can do about that one is knock it out."

Luigi takes his hat off and wipes the sweat from his brow.

"And to take on all three at once...Do you have anything to help beat them with?"

"Hooktail has a weakness for cricket chirps and frog croaks, it makes them physically ill. The other two aren't so convenient as to have a comically easy weakness."

"Of course not. But how do I..."

Nabbit holds up two badges.

"One makes you sound like crickets, the other like frogs."

Nabbit slides them over the Luigi who looks confused.

"What?"

"You're not, you know, gonna ask me for coin?"

"The way I see it, you need these more than I need small coin. Besides...If you and Mario die, I don't get paid. So these and a few other gifts are on the house."

Luigi decided to ignore Nabbit's attempt at sounding like he didn't care and smiled at the thrifty rabbit.

"Thanks, Nabbit. You're a good friend."

"Don't mention it."

Nabbit drops off a bundle of items and power-ups.

"Before I go, can I offer you some advice?"

"Um...Sure?"

"Copy your brother one more time and rest. You look tired. This adventure is taking its toll on you both in ways you can't see."

Luigi is unsure how to respond to that as Nabbit leaves the brothers' room. Looking over the papers, the items, and then his brother, Luigi believes Nabbit's 'advice' is worth following. This adventure was more than just a 'rescue the Princess' thing and somehow was less dangerous than the brothers' personal battles that have made them clash along the way. A rest would be the best right now and so he did just that. Kicking off his shoes, crawling into bed, and hoping things would be better later. But he had something left to say to his unconscious healing brother.

"Mario...When we fight, we may fight like the worst of enemies. But when we come together, we become a powerful force like no other. You are there for me when I need help, you protect me like no one else, and most of all, you love me. We may fight, scream, and argue, but under it all is a love. I love you, bro. Sweet dreams, Mario."

"*snore*"

Luigi chuckles and rolls over. Sleep sets in quickly after being awake and fighting for over 30 hours.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	20. Evening three: Intensity increasing

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

I walk the halls a tad numb. I wasn't expecting Bowser to do any of this. To admit his feelings for me. To want me to be his while in marriage with Peach. To kiss me. To get me to kiss back. So much happened in a matter of minutes that my head is still spinning.

"Why? Why did he have to spring that on me? Dang it, Bowser...What am I suppose to do now?"

He likes me. He has feelings for me. That's all fine and dandy for him, but what the hell on my end of this thing? I mean...I do like him. Hell, he's got a better shot than anyone else that I can think of. But can I really say I feel the same? Do I like Bowser like that? I know I care for the guy. I care for his kids...Oh crap! The kids. How the fuck am I suppose to explain this to the kids?

"Pardon us!"

"Coming through!"

I press my body along a wall as a few of the kitchen's head cooks rush a loaded chart of food toward Bowser's chamber. Guess the big guy got hungry and ordered room service. Lucky him. Forgetting his troubles in food yet able to keep that great figure. No! Don't think like that! Just get all thoughts out of your head for awhile. Just...go...blank.

I pause for a bit. Long enough for a small hand to take mine and start leading me away. When my brain registers the world around me again, I notice Lemmy is holding my hand and rolling on his ball as we go through the halls.

"Where we going, Lemmy?"

"Jr. said you were going karting. He invited us along too."

"All of you?"

"Ludwig's not coming."

"Why?"

"To repeat him...I am not leaving this room!"

I look at him funny.

"We drew doodles on him for taking you."

I can't help but snicker.

"*giggle* Did you give him glasses and mustache?"

"*gasp* No, but that sounds funny! We pretty much drew whatever on him. Though Roy wrote NERD on his forehead."

"Yeah, that sounds like alright."

Lemmy guides me out of the castle and we join up with Jr. plus the other Koopalings. From the outside, we take off in karts to where I don't know. I simply follow the children away from Bowser's mighty castle and to parts of the of the Koopa Kingdom I've yet to know.

From a dark and hot land to a bright wet metropolis, I am in awe. This is Neo Bowser City. It is a neon-lit city themed after Bowser. Neon signs are everywhere and images of Bowser himself along with his signature emblem can be seen in various places. This place is alive and bustling with people. But it's not the city's streets we are aimed to race on. High above, built into the many towering spires, is a race track. Just looking at it, sends chills down my spine and alerts every spark in my brain to remember that I am not cool with heights! Yet...I'm still driving? Why am I still driving?! Body! Stop driving!

"You okay, Mama?"

"Ya lookin' nervous, sweetheart."

"I think she's afraid of heights."

"Her? Scared of heights?"

"Didn't see that coming."

"No way..."

Roy play punches my shoulder.

"Sugar isn't afraid of nothin'. Right, sugar?"

I just grip my steering wheel tighter and keep looking forward. This gets Roy's attention, but Wendy beats him to the punch in fixing the situation.

"If you're worried about falling off, don't. The track is under constant watch by Lakitus. They follow each racer and are there the moment you slip. So relax."

That helps a little bit, but not much.

"Oh! Morton have an idea! We can use the bumpers."

"Bumpers?"

"Ever play a game of bowling?"

"Yeah."

"Ever see those things that block the gutters? Those are bumpers."

"That's a thing that can be done?"

"Not on all tracks."

"A large percentage of the course is winding roads with moving neon arrow railings. There is a small upward spiral section in the middle of the track that goes up a tower. Traction is decreased due to the rain. There is a tunnel close to the end of the course, that leads to a road that is covered with puddles. At the end, there is a ramp that uses the glider. There are not many open areas on it, maybe three. The only real open spot is the wide winding turn near the end of the course."

"Lynn lady doesn't really need bumpers. Lynn lady is not a baby...Are you?"

"I'm not a baby. Just...Nervous as heck."

"Let me paint the scene for you. That way, you might not be so tense. The course starts with an S-bend; however, you must steer back in quickly to avoid hitting the wall. Just before you enter the air vent area, it is possible to be pushed through the guardrails by a heavier opponent. After that, the race continues under a tower with air ducts. Then there are two soft turns and a red tunnel. After many turns, you exit and reach the winding part of the road, which consists of three hairpin turns. Then, there is a shorter tunnel that leads to a road all to the left, that is covered with puddles. At the end, there is a glider ramp back to the finish line."

"Huh...That doesn't make it seem very long."

"It really isn't."

"But the fun is in the chase for first place and holding it."

"And the items! *giggles*"

"Hold on. There's message on the ad screen."

[Attention kart goers: Due to recent popularity, we have updated the track to better enhance user enjoyment. The overall course layout is unchanged but has received a few minor modifications to make things more deluxe. A drop-off has been added at the entrance to the tunnel in place of a downhill slope. The three-quarter turn into the glider ramp at the end has been modified into an anti-gravity section, complete with spin boost pillars, while the water puddles have been removed. The Koopa Clown Car air current found near the S-Bend has been moved to behind the banner, instead of beside it. The music is also roughly the same, but an electric guitar has been added. Known shortcuts: After the S-bend, players can cut through the mud with a Mushroom. You must steer back in quickly to avoid hitting the wall. Near the finish line, if you use a Mushroom or the Koopa Clown Car air current, you can glide into a secret zone on the S-bend under the red tunnel. And like with the turn after the S-bend, it is now possible to use a Mushroom or Star to cut through the mud on the anti-gravity segment. New Items: The Boo Item. Upon use, allows the driver to become invisible to other racers for 10 seconds. While invisible, drivers will also be granted immunity to items and most obstacles. Activating the item will also allow Boo to steal an item from a randomly selected racer in front of the user. If there are no items to steal, Boo will bring back a single Mushroom by default. If Boo steals a part used from a triple item or a timed item like the Fire Flower or Golden Mushroom, they will be returned to the driver fresh. Boo cannot steal Crazy 8's, or Potted Piranha Plants and Bullet Bills already in use. Only one Boo can be in play at a time; once it brings back an item, another can appear in item boxes again, even while the other player is still invisible. Drivers already invincible through use of their own Super Star or even their own Boo are not immune to Boo's item stealing. The Feather Item. Causes the driver to spin and leap in the air, providing a small speed boost upon landing, akin to a regular trick jump. When used near an opponent, the driver steals a balloon from them; however, the user needs to touch the opponent to steal the balloon, either by touching them upon use or upon landing. Can be used during a regular trick to gain more height, though does not grant more height if used while airborne normally. Exclusive to Battle Mode. Thank you for choosing Neo Bowser City for your kart racing needs.]

"Seems things got a bit more intense."

"It's cool how they tell you about the shortcuts. Keeps things fair."

"As fair as luck will allow anyway."

"Do you still want the bumpers, Mama?"

"If it's okay with you lot, I at least want to try with the bumpers on for one lap. Just so I get a feel for the track."

"That's fine."

"So a one-lap simple race? No items?"

"I guess we can still do items."

"Yay!"

"First things first..."

"To the kart part shop!"

"The what?"

They drive over in a line to this garage area and I follow. From what I can see and hear, technicians change out the parts of the kart to fit there needs. Each driver in our standard kart is weighed in and set in one of three classes...light, medium, and heavy. Jr., Wendy, and Larry are lightweights, though due to his size, Lemmy is considered a very lightweight. I myself is a medium weight, while Ludwig and Iggy are considered medium heavyweights. Leaving Roy in the heavyweight and Morton in the very heavyweight category. No doubt Bowser is in the very heavyweight category as well, the big guy.

Along with a weight class, each driver also has statistics that show how each person does in the many fields of karting. In each statistics, the sum of the points for the driver, body, tires, and glider is a number potentially ranging from 0 to 20, that then determines the values of the related in-race statistics. The following statistics are used by the karting league: WG: Weight AC: Acceleration ON: On-Road traction OF: (Off-Road) Traction MT: Mini-Turbo SL: Ground Speed SW: Water Speed SA: Anti-Gravity Speed SG: Air Speed TL: Ground Handling TW: Water Handling TA: Anti-Gravity Handling TG: Air Handling

Jr.'s stats are 2-4-1-5-4-2-2-2-2-8-8-8-8. Total 56.

Lemmy's are 0-5-4-3-5-0-0-0-0-9-9-9-9. Total 53.

Larry's are 3-4-3-4-3-3-3-3-3-7-7-7-7. Total 57.

Wendy's are 2-5-4-2-4-2-2-2-2-7-7-7-7. Total 53.

Ludwig's are 6-2-4-2-2-6-6-6-6-4-4-4-4. Total 56.

Iggy's are 6-2-5-1-2-6-6-6-6-5-5-5-5. Total 60.

Roy's are 8-1-10-0-1-9-9-9-9-2-2-2-2. Total 64.

Morton's are 10-0-6-0-0-10-10-10-10-0-0-0-0. Total 56.

My stats are 5-3-5-3-3-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5. Total 59.

Bowser oddly has two sets of stats, one when normal 10-0-6-0-0-10-10-10-10-0-0-0-0 (total 56) and one when Dry 9-0-5-1-0-10-10-10-10-1-1-1-1 (total 59). Has me wondering just how often he turns Dry.

With that out of the way and in mind, it's on to picking karts. Jr. picks out the Koopa Clown kart with Cyber Slick tires and Cloud Glider. Lemmy goes with the Sneeker kart with Standard tires and Super Glider. Larry picks out the Sport Bike with Monster tires and Super Glider. Wendy chooses a girly looking version of the Mr. Scooty bike with Metal tires and Peach Parasol. Iggy picks the Standard Bike with Monster tires and Super Glider. Roy picks out The Duke bike with Cushion tires and Parafoil. Morton picks the Tri-Speeder kart with Monster tires and Super Glider. So when it comes down to me, I'm not entirely sure what to go with, until something catches my eye and that's when I know I must drive it...The Bone Rattler ATV/Trike with Metal tires and a glider I picked at random.

"How you like me now?"

"Nice!"

"That's Papa's Dry bike."

"Really? Cool."

Can I not avoid Bowser in any form?

"So it's the eight of you?"

A blue shelled Paratroopa flies over to our group.

"Yes."

"How many laps?"

"Five. But make the first lap have the bumpers."

"Got it. Just follow the ramp up to the track and line up at the starting gate."

The kids do as told, each of them ready and excited to race, but me, I'm just trying to keep my eyes on them so I can ignore the fact we are going above my height limit that will make me have a panic attack.

"You alright back there?"

Iggy slows down to be near me.

"Heights still getting to you?"

"Yeah. It may not look it, but I'm freaking out on the inside. I am not good with heights, ladders, elevators, or bridges to a certain point. If I can't control my actions towards doing something, like going up high, it gets to my nerves."

"But you're okay with flying?"

"If I'm in control, say, with wings, then yes. But airplanes, heck no. I don't trust them. They make no sense to me and defy my reason for something being able to get off the ground."

"Well, the same can be said for bees. In Antoine Magnan's 1934 book Le vol des insectes, he wrote that he and André Sainte-Laguë had applied the equations of air resistance to insects and found that their flight could not be explained by fixed-wing calculations, but that 'One shouldn't be surprised that the results of the calculations don't square with reality'. This has led to a common misconception that bees 'violate aerodynamic theory', but in fact, it merely confirms that bees do not engage in fixed-wing flight and that their flight is explained by other mechanics, such as those used by helicopters. In 1996 it was shown that vortices created by many insects' wings helped to provide lift. High-speed cinematography and robotic mock-up of a bee wing showed that lift was generated by 'the unconventional combination of short, choppy wing strokes, a rapid rotation of the wing as it flops over and reverses direction, and a very fast wing-beat frequency'. Wing-beat frequency normally increases as size decreases, but as the bee's wing beat covers such a small arc, it flaps approximately 230 times per second, faster than a fruit fly's 200 times per second which is 80 times smaller."

"That may be, but I'm still not trusting airplanes."

"Never said you had to. I was just saying all that as a distraction."

"What?"

He points and I am confused till my kart lurches forward in a sudden stop when said kart enters a placement space.

"What the..."

"The key is to take your mind off the fear with thoughts that are stronger. Try thinking about something silly then giving it a much deeper thought."

He drives into his own placement and I'm stunned that he managed to make sense for me. My only issue now is what the think about. During my less than helpful view into my own head for something to think about, the others have all lined up and a Lakitu holding a street light that's on red.

"Drivers ready?"

Ah hell, brain, it's time to pay attention.

"Okay...We start in three."

Uh...Brain?

The light sounds off and the gates go down.

Brain!

It turns yellow and my heart starts pumping, sending the alert just in time for the third sound as the light turns green. Engines gun. Tires squeal. Rubber burns. All in mere seconds. And just like that, my mind is a complete blank except for one remaining impulse...Drive. With petal to the metal, it's on.

Right off the bat, Lemmy is in the first place due to his speed but that's not my concern. I don't care what I place, I just want to become familiar with the track. Right into the middle of the starting S-turn, there are five Item Boxes. These nifty things give drivers a random item and the items given are based on the driver's position.

Aside from the new Boo and Feather, items include...Coins, coins give drivers a small boost and increase top speed when more are collected, up to a maximum of ten. Boomerang Flower, this can be thrown up to three times, hitting racers forward/backward and when it returns to its user after the first and second use. Piranha Plant, this automatically chomps on obstacles and other racers, giving a short speed boost for each bite. Super Horn, this emits a radial shockwave hitting racers, as well as destroying all obstacles, including the Spiny Shell. Green Shell, travels in a straight line and knocks over a kart it hits. Triple Green Shells, three green shells that orbit the player's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Red Shell, homes in on the closest kart in front of the user and knocks it over, can be thrown backward. Triple Red Shells, three red shells that orbit the user's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Banana, can protect the driver from incoming items and spins out other racers that hit it. Triple Bananas, three bananas that orbit the user's kart, protecting them from incoming attacks. Mushroom, provides the user's kart with a small speed boost. Triple Mushrooms, orbits the user's kart, providing them with three separate speed boosts but can be stolen by other drivers if contact is made. Golden Mushroom, provides the user's kart with continuous speed boosts for a short time. Fire Flower, allows the driver to throw fireballs for a short time that cause other karts to spin out on impact. Star, provides the driver invincibility from all terrain and items and also giving a speed boost. Blooper, sprays ink on all racers and reduces their visibility, the racers hit also lose some of their traction while sprayed. Bob-omb, explodes after a short time when thrown or dropped, knocking over any kart in its blast radius. Lightning, causes all opponents to drop their items, shrink, and drive slowly for a short time. Bullet Bill, transforms the user into a Bullet Bill, rocketing through the track with auto-pilot, and providing invincibility from all terrain and items. Crazy Eight, generates eight items (Coin, Bob-omb, Mushroom, Star, Blooper, Green Shell, Red Shell, and a Banana) that circle around the driver for them to use. And the beast of all kart items, the Spiny Shell, targets the racer in first place and knocks over all other karts in its path.

Hitting the box, I get a green shell but hold on to it. I don't want to hit the kids...so long as they don't hit me first, at least three times, then I might be more inclined to retaliate. But like I said, this lap is not a race for me, just a means to learn the track and my kart definitely helps in this way. I have great control, not too much speed, and it handles like a dream. The S-turn ends in a tunnel that has coins inside, a rather pleasant part. This then heads outside and aims upwards, granting more Item Boxes in the middle of the incline, gifting me with a Boo. There are a few more coins along the way, but at the top begins what feels like driving along the curves of a snake due to how many turns this stretch of road has. It is here while gathering more coins, I fall victim to a Banana and would've fallen off the road had the bumpers not been there.

"Geez...why is this fun again?"

Suddenly the bumpers drop and I realize that, even though I haven't reached the goal line yet, lap one for most is over. So bye-bye goes the safety net.

"*sigh* I regret so much right now."

Unable to back out of this crazy game I start again onward, hoping like hell nothing worse happens. Continuing on the road straightens as it declines back down, more Item Boxes greet me but holding two items is the max limit so I get nothing for hitting them. The U-bending turn back down is anti-gravity. It's very freaky to suddenly see my tires flip to handle this road and then flip back once it ends in this coin littered jump that forces a Bowser-shaped glider to pop out as I cross the goal line.

"Oh my god, will you quit hounding me!"

Great, I've descended into madness and am yelling at my glider. Look what you've done to me, Bowser! You big lovable jerk! Argh! I can't even get mad at you properly anymore!

So begins my lap two, the kids pass me with skill crafted by years of kart racing and my own lack of trying. Now knowing what is what with this track, I do try a little by increasing my speed. Hell, I'm in dead last at this point, might as well put up some sort of effort. To make room for better things I launch my green shell backward and coast as a ghost till it runs out, a move that saved me from being hit by lightning. By the time I hit the Item Boxes again, I am blessed with hitting a double box, this gives me a Bullet Bill and Golden Mushroom.

"Oh, it's game on now."

I let loose the bullet and the rush is insane! I'm shot halfway across the course in just under ten seconds, passing Larry and Lemmy before I respawn as myself. I'm not sure what place I'm in now, but I have a Golden Mushroom that says I'll soon be in a better place before anyone knows it.

"Hi, Lynn lady."

"Hi, Morton."

"You're not afraid anymore?"

"Terrified. But you know what beats out fear?"

"What?"

"Speeding faster than you care to realize."

"Huh?"

I activate the Golden Mushroom and take off.

"Bye Morton!"

He surprised by this and it takes him a moment before he laughs at the silliness of it. I expect that from Morton, he's a big sweetie. What I don't expect is crazy competitive attacks from Wendy as I near her position in fourth place.

"Where do you think you're going?"

A sudden red shell makes me fishtail and Wendy is glaring back at me.

"What the fudge, Wendy?!"

"I may not get first, but I'll be damned if I don't place!"

Note to self: Wendy is scary when she really wants to win.

"It's all for fun, dear, you don't need to take this so seriously."

"That's loser talk!"

She drops three bananas in my way and when I move to avoid them she slams her breaks to have me dodge to avoid her, causing me to ram my front side into a wall as she re-speeds away.

"Okay...No more miss nice Mama."

It's on now. I peel away from the wall and now target her. If I'm going to move further in the pack, I need to get past her. Entering the third lap I get my new item, the Star. It's a tad OP, but very useful.

"Hey, Wendy!"

She looks back just as I activate it, the rainbow glow of doom shimmers in her eyes.

"It's just a game."

She tries to get out of the way, almost doing so, but I can be spiteful when the mood is right and I ram her several times till she ends up spinning out then gets nailed by passing Morton. If memory serves me right, now that I'm in forth it means Iggy, Jr., and Roy are in the top three. Should I go after them? Does it matter? I suppose not. Then again...Wendy is going to be gunning for me, so it's probably a good idea to get as much distance as I can from her, so...Flooring it!

At this point, the track is very familiar to me. I can almost take shortcuts but I lack the items to do so and the confidence for them. Yet nearing the middle of lap four, I finally see the Koopa in third place.

"Hi, sweetie."

"Mama!"

Jr.'s instincts for parental care betray his racing drive as he slows down to kart alongside me.

"Are you feeling better, Mama?"

"A little bit, but more than when this started. How are you dear?"

"I'm good."

We drift into some coins and then Item Boxes.

"So who's in first, Roy or Iggy?"

"Roy's in first. I don't know how he does it, but he always can end up in first."

"No surprise there. He has the best stats, plus add whatever bonuses his kart gives him...Roy is OP."

"What's OP?"

"Over Powered."

"Oh..."

"Think we can beat him?"

"I don't know. But..."

We have to move away and dodge some random green shells that were stuck bouncing around in a tunnel. Those had to have been from Iggy, they had to have been recently released or they would've been broken by now.

"As you were saying?"

"Oh! But...Maybe we can give him a run for his money?"

"And what sneaky plan do you have in mind, sweetie?"

"First, we get past Iggy. Then, you trick Roy."

"Trick him? How?"

"I don't know. You're smart. You'll think of something."

"Roy's pretty smart too. He won't be fooled easily."

"I believe in you, Mama. But if all else fails...*devious giggles* I have a secret weapon."

I smirk.

"What did you get in that Item Box?"

"Let's just say it's something that ruins everyone's mood when in first place."

"...You are a cruel little boy, and I love you."

"Heheh...I love you too, Mama. What did you get?"

"Just a Super Horn. Pretty lame really."

"Yeah, the item payout is whack. But at least there's one thing in our favor."

"What's that?"

"For being in first, all Roy is getting is coins, bananas, and maybe green shells."

"Fair enough. It would suck if first place allowed for Bullet Bills and Gold Mushrooms."

"Oh yeah."

"Shall we commence with operation 'Take second Place'?"

"Let's do this!"

Jr. speeds off and I follow close behind. Iggy is not a pushover in the kart racing scene, only second to Roy in terms of stats. Iggy uses his clever and crafty nature to pull off the craziest of maneuvers when he feels like he's in a tight spot. It won't be easy to get by or even near him, and especially since it's now the final lap.

It isn't until we end the first quarter of the track that we see Iggy. I don't know what Jr. aims to do to get by him, but my idea is to use the Super Horn to stun him long enough to pass him. Yet this is not meant to be. Iggy hits the Item Boxes before us and is granted the Crazy Eight. His first release is the Blooper and ink is sent all over the place, not even blocking the face is helpful to keep the ink from getting to you.

"Argh! My eyes!"

Jr.'s exclamation alerts Iggy to our location.

"Huh? I expected such sneakiness from Jr., but it seems I miscalculated for you, Lynn."

"This stuff stings...If I go blind, I'm kicking your shell in, Iggy!"

"I assure you, it's perfectly safe. Now while it would probably be safer for me to get rid of you two, I have bigger fish to fry with these items. But allow me to leave you with a parting gift. Enjoy~."

He drops something behind him and takes off. The only clue we have to know what's happening before sight returns is this short hissing sound.

"Bob-omb!"

It explodes, scattering the two of us in stunned confusion.

"Jr.! Are you okay?"

"*groan* I'm fine. Big boys don't get hurt by little things like that."

He's such a trooper.

"Then come on, big boy. Let's go kick Iggy's butt before he steals the win."

"Yeah!"

Now it's revenge time. Iggy didn't have to use that item, he could've used a shell or banana or even sped away with a Star, but no. Now Iggy has to get what's coming to him. But there's not a lot of time left before the race is over.

It takes some skilled driving to catch back up to Iggy. We had to get our coins back up to ten and drift to get every little extra bit of turbo boosts we can. Once he's back in our sights, Iggy's already glowing from using the Star item and now is boosting more with the use of the Mushroom to ram into Roy to pass him.

"Now, Mama?"

"Now, sweetie."

Jr. lets loose the Spiny Shell and blue winged homing shell of doom zooms after the Koopa in first place...Iggy. Unfortunately for Iggy, none of the items he has can prevent being hit by the shell. Roy, seeing the shell and not wanting to get caught in the blast, slows down as we catch up.

"Hey there, sugar. I was wonderin' when I'd see ya."

"Um, I'm right here too."

"Sup, squirt."

"Grrr."

"I've been in the back, tough guy. Came up to see the fireworks."

The shell circles above Iggy a couple times before dive bombing on top of him. I could've sworn he curses but the explosion deafens it. All Iggy can do is watch the three of us drive past him as the shell disables the kart it hits for some time.

"Ya know, sweetheart, the finish line is comin' up. Maybe if ya make it worth my while I'll let ya win."

"You're gross, Roy."

"How am I being gross?"

"You just are."

"Now don't start this again."

I'm trapped in the middle of these two kids yelling back and forth while the finish line grows ever closer. Now the angel and devil on my shoulder start talking to me. One tells me I can be a good girl and do nothing, that way we all cross the line in first, making everyone happy as the ones in the back will get better place numbers. Yet the other side is telling me I can have all the glory if I release the Super Horn and knock these two back, making me the winner. So I mentally weigh the options. Either I can be the girl they love and adore, or I can be a huge bitch by screwing over the kids that trust me.

I make the obvious choice.

*fanfare*

[Meanwhile: In Castle Koopa]

"He can't be serious."

"I said the same thing. But sadly, he is."

Kammy sighs and sits on her broom, not flying anywhere but just needing to take a seat to go over what she had just been told.

"So...We're to put on a show for Princess Peach?"

Kamek nods.

"Yeah. He's planning to make this big presentation to woo Peach into willingly accept the marriage."

"What's the point? If we've already got the hypnotist, why bother trying to get her consent?"

"I think it's a pride thing. You know how he is. He's got the kids involved too. Ludwig's been writing music for the event and some of the troops will sing, maybe do a little dance."

"Ridiculous. You males and your need to prove your bravado. I'll never understand it."

"I believe it's less of a male thing and more of a Bowser thing."

"True. Remember the first time he got her to the altar?"

"How could I? A large crowd had gathered for the wedding. Meanwhile, Bowser was preparing for the wedding when he was informed that the princess was acting hysterical. In the bride's chamber, Toadstool was attacking the Koopas and Goombas attending to her, insisting that she will not wed Bowser. When reassuring her does not work, Bowser has the hypnotist brainwash her into loving him, and he is so thrilled with the results that he orders a Troopa to bring him a video camera to record it. Then the wedding began. While Bowser was bringing the Princess down the aisle, Mario found his way through a pipe he went through, which happens to come out of Bowser's wedding cake. Seeing the ceremony, Mario jumps down before the Princess can say her 'I do'. After Mario kicks Bowser away, he is shocked to hear Toadstool calling Bowser 'darling'. Nevertheless, he grabs her and attempts to get her out, while Bowser sends the guards after them. Mario was beaten and tied up while Bowser taunted him. Bowser orders the minister to continue the ceremony but was suddenly interrupted by a guard informed him that the Yoshies had escaped. At this point, the Yoshies with Luigi came storming in, trampling over everything and everyone. Bowser ordered the hypnotist to cast another spell, but he too was trampled, which broke the spell on the princess, who promptly untied Mario. Bowser attempted to escape in the Clown Car, but Mario snagged the propeller with the rope he was tied up with, causing it to crash into the cake. Bowser hid inside the cake as the Yoshies started eating it, and as soon as he emerged, Mario was standing over him. Bowser tried to charge at him, but missed and falls into the cake again. The cake then began to fall apart, and Mario jumped off before it collapsed on top of Bowser. They all left and we got stuck with the mess."

"That was a crazy day. Not as universe ending as the second wedding, but still pretty crazy."

"Oh yeah...A villain named Count Bleck appeared with his assistant, Nastasia and Princess Peach, who is his prisoner. He announced his plans to use Peach 'to destroy all worlds', and kidnapped Bowser as well, with Luigi and the Koopa Troop being sucked away too. When Peach regained consciousness to find that she and Bowser are dressed in wedding outfits and standing at an altar, with Count Bleck officiating. Nastasia uses mind control powers to force Peach to say 'I do', and the marriage between her and Bowser calls forth the Chaos Heart. Bleck then used the Chaos Heart to open a dimensional rift known as The Void, fulfilling a prophecy he read in an ancient book known as the Dark Prognosticus, in which all worlds are destroyed."

"So wait...If marrying Peach with Lord Bowser makes an apocalyptic event happen, why the devil are we trying to make this happen?"

"From what I've looked into on the matter, the Chaos Heart existing alone doesn't cause the problem, it's the person that uses it. But also, the so-called 'prophecy' didn't mention if more than one can be made. Because the one made was destroyed by the use of the Pure Hearts."

"If this cockamamie wedding makes another...*clap* Into the vault it goes, never to be seen again."

"Good god, can you imagine if the kids got a hold of it?"

"I don't even want to picture such a thing. Might kill me to do so."

"Please, like anything can kill you. *mumble* You old fossil."

"What was that?"

"I said I could go for some tacos."

"Oh...Tacos sound amazing right now."

Kammy is as smart and spunky as a Magikoopa half her age, but she can also be unintentionally comical at times and occasionally shows signs of senility. While only appearing to possess the generic Magikoopa abilities, Kammy has in the past showed a variety of powers doing such feats as summoning Yellow Blocks and living creatures, using magical lightning which could cancel the effects of the Sneaky Parasol and the ability to teleport. Kammy also showed some expertise in mechanics, not as well as Iggy or Kamek or even Jr., but apparently, she is the one who built Bowser's Power Platform. Despite this range of abilities, Kammy is exceptionally weak in battle and is normally only in the fight to act as a support role, healing others and boosting allies with her magic. But for a female Magikoopa, none compared to her in terms of skill, knowledge, loyalty, or vanity. She's odd but alright.

"Lord Bowser!"

A scare covered old Goomba rushes into the Throne Room, but is surprised to not find the King there.

"Uh..."

"If you have something to say, then just say it."

"We shall relay your information to Lord Bowser if indeed it is worthy of his attention."

"Oh, it is super important, master Kamek."

"Quit sucking up to him and spit it out already."

The Goomba puts on a more serious expression.

"My team was assigned to monitor the zone castles just in case anything were to happen. All was quiet for these last couple of days. A bit too quiet for my liking. I issued a status report from all units...Three of my team have not responded back."

That makes the wizard pair pay more attention.

"Have you double checked on this?"

"Maybe they were away from their radios."

"Unlikely, but to make sure they weren't, I requested the aid of a few paratroops to scout out their locations and report their finds."

"And what did they find?"

"They reported...Castles One, Two, and Three have been defeated."

That is so shocking to the pair that Kammy falls off her broom and Kamek's jaw drops.

"Are you serious?!"

"Do I not look serious to you?"

"Your scouts...Do they know the current whereabouts of Mario?"

"Yes, sir. Following the trail and collecting some intel from the locals, it appears that the Mario Brothers were last seen headed towards the Cheep Cheep River Village."

"Brothers? You mean to tell me that lard butt dragged in Luigi?"

"They are aiming to take on Castle Four."

"One more thing...Eyewitnesses mentioned a third party supplying the brothers with items. What they described as a speedy, wearing a mask, and a purple rabbit of sorts? Whatever that means."

Kammy is confused but Kamek knows who it is.

"What do we do, sir?"

"...Alert your remaining troops. Tell them to notify the Bosses, the mustaches are coming. Double the manpower and call in the Koopa Troop. They have work to do."

"Sir, yes sir."

The Goomba bows and runs out to fulfill their orders.

"So who's this purple rabbit?"

"A thief called Nabbit. He likes to steal items and power-ups."

"Oh? *chuckles* Seems the saintly heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom aren't above stooping to hiring the aid of unsavory characters if it means they win."

"Maybe. I expect something like this from Mario, but Luigi...Something doesn't feel right."

"Do we tell Bowser?"

Kamek took pause.

"Kamek?"

"...No. We wait. Let's try to handle this in the meantime."

"Us? What if those boys get closer? Heck, that metal monstrosity isn't even powered up, nor is there anyone to pilot it in Castle Seven. Those doofuses in overalls can simply walk right on through."

"You're only half right, Kammy."

"Huh?"

"While the machine isn't powered up, that doesn't mean the pilots aren't near it."

Kamek pulls out his wand and the jewel on top glows.

"All we need is to call them."

"Pilots? As in, more than one? Damn it! Why am I the last one to know what's going on? Who are they?"

"All in good time, dear Kammy. All in good time."

The glow in his wand settles and face is seen in it.

"Warlock to Purple Wind...Get Daddy Long Legs ready. You have some friends to play with."

"Wah? Talk normal, ya old dork."

"*growl* Grab Waluigi and get your fat rear end over to Castle Five, Wario!"

"Geez...No need to be rude about it."

"Do whatever you can to stop Mario and Luigi."

Kamek puts his wand away and sighs with annoyance.

"Really? Those two?"

"They're just interference. The real pilot is harder to get a hold of."

"Oh?"

"And I think you'll like her too."

"Her? Nice to see you're not as close minded as I thought you were."

"Gee, thanks. Just don't mention the Wah-boys to Bowser."

"What? You think little old me will say something? Kamek, my friend, you should be more worried about slipping that up yourself."

"Wait...What do you mean by..."

"KAMEK!"

[Meanwhile: At Castle Four]

The way to the castle was meet with much annoying aquatic nonsense. As this zone is mostly laid in water, swimming is a skill most useful. What little land there is hardly holds enough space for most things. Most islands hold about one building or bridges that connect the lands leading from one zone to the other. If that's the case, why not just walk to the castle? Why risk going in the water with all those deadly fishes? Simple, to help build some sort of economy, the bridges have some very pricey tolls and using all of them would quickly make a less than wealthy person a very poor soul.

But it's not like the water is home to only the things that bite and want you dead. There are friendly creatures that swim and will aid you if needed. Such kind creatures as Dolphins, these are goggle-wearing cetaceans. They are usually ridden and used as platforms to cross the water. They jump in and out of the water either vertically or in parabolic arcs. Then there are Dorries, these are large friendly blue, purple, or even yellow Plesiosaur-like marine-reptiles. Dorries have a few elements in common with Yoshies, such as the white area of soft tissue spanning the whole lower part of the body and a similar round face that even features a placement of the eyes and nostrils akin to that seen in Yoshies, but like the Dolphins, they wear goggles. Another friendly creature is Plessie, this is a friendly character resembling a Nothosaur but named after a Plesiosaur. Besides being three to four times as tall as Mario, Plessie is visibly fat, and this trait is actually used to slide on its belly outside bodies of water. It too shares some features with that of Yoshies, such as the bipedal posture with short legs, the bottom of each foot, including the toes, is fully covered by a white pad. Furthermore, the back features four darker stripes with rounded borders that are perpendicular with respect to the tail. Plessie's head features two big eyes, each with an orange eyelid, a white sclera and a big oval pupil surrounded by an aqua green iris. Furthermore, the upper part of the muzzle is elongated like that of a crocodile, with a white protruding end hosting two nostrils near its top. The tail is long and ends with a three-lobed structure resting on the coronal plane, similar to the crest and having the same cyan color as well. Plessie is always seen wearing a red bandanna knotted on the left side of the neck. Manta Rays are an aquatic species found in various waters and are peaceful creatures, some leave trails of regenerative rings behind them as they swim and others can be used to surf above channels of water. Types of Mantas called Jumbo Rays are unique. They are green and wear a pair of water goggles, but they can fly. And of course, the ever friendly and always kind whales, but those are out in more open waters.

Any one of these creatures were happy to lend their helping flippers to the Mario Brothers. After all, Castle Four, while a very standing out of place building as is, over time has been slowly sinking into the waters and by now just about half the floors are flooded. Most of the enemies that roam inside aren't even on Bowser's payroll, just local wildlife that have made the castle their home. Many of these are very naughty fishes that love the taste of land dwellers. Yet the baddies that are there to work are more out of place than the castle itself.

Big Kamukamu is a purple spiked fish that, after each hit it takes, will swim faster and become more enraged. Big Mouth is an enemy in the underwater areas where they hide in dark holes, while hiding, only their eyes are visible. When approached, Big Mouths will lunge out of the hole with their mouths wide open, attempting to bite and damage anything in front of the Big Mouth. Fish Bones are skeletal, undead versions of Cheep Cheeps which, despite this, they are often larger than living Cheep Cheeps and have completely different tail fins. Goboten are seal-like creatures that carry a harpoon. Judging from their outfit, which includes a pirate-like striped bandanna, it can be assumed that they are affiliated with the Brown Sugar Pirates, a band of thieves that shares a rivalry with Wario. They mainly occupy the watery areas, where they patrol underwater passages. Goggley-Blades have pectoral fins like fish but appear to have the hind legs and webbed feet like that of a bird. They wear goggles and have a blade protruding from their forehead. Goggley-Blades swim slowly across a set pattern, but when something enters their sights, they quickly accelerate towards them with rapid speed. They do not change course, so one can avoid them by going around them. Goomdivers are diving-helmet-clad Goombas, they have two different ways of attacking: either they charge directly at the target, or they swim up and slowly spiral towards the target. Kamukamu is a small, sharp-toothed fish resembling Big Kamukamu. Lava Lotus is an artificial flower that lives underwater. They are capable of creating and storing lava balls under their transparent leaves and attack by opening up to release them. The fireballs can go through platforms and make navigating underwater difficult. The number they shoot out is random and can be up to five at a time. The fireballs travel rather slowly and in a straight line from their point of release. Loch Nestor is a puffer fish enemy that after it is hit three times, it explodes, sending spines everywhere. A Lunge Fish is a big fish that will eat anything whole so long as it can fit down its throat. Lunge Fish hide in the water, and, like their name implies, will lunge at prey as it passes by. If prey falls in the water, a Lunge Fish will attempt to swallow it whole similar to how a Boss Bass does. Scarracudas are piranha-like enemies with silver fangs. There are two varieties of Scarracuda: red and green ones. Red ones just swim around in the water. However, green ones can jump out of the water and attempt to bite if something comes too close. Tobawani resemble green alligators with orange scuba tanks and snorkeling masks. These enemies reside in bodies of water and can be very aggressive. They will attack by leaping out of the water and biting with their sharp teeth. Ukiwani are crocodile enemies and appear as members of the Brown Sugar Pirates. They wear inner tubes and lie in wait in water, attacking by leaping up and snapping their jaws.

This would be insane for anyone to handle, let alone two brothers, but they aren't called SUPER for nothing. Yet something is strangely apparent once they are able to reach the dry areas of the castle.

"Hey, Mario?"

"Yeah?"

"It sure is quiet, don't-a you think?"

"Consider it a break. Or would-a you rather have-a those things chase us up here?"

"N-No. It's just..."

"What?"

"We've been-a walking around for a while now...Don't-a you think it's odd we haven't seen anything?"

"Odd, yes. Spooky, a little. Do I care, no."

"But why do you-a think..."

*rumble*

The brothers look down to see Luigi's foot had landed on a pressure trap sensor.

"Run!"

The walls open and spiked dodge balls shoot out at them as they do their best to flee the balls of death.

"You just-a had to question the peace!"

"I didn't-a mean for this to happen!"

A ball skims by Luigi, tearing into his side and making him yell.

"Luigi!"

Mario rushes to his brother's aid and tries to keep them moving, for the ball that struck Luigi went off course. This stray rubber ball of death hits other balls, that then hit other balls, so on and so forth. Making the dangerous halls even more horrifically deadly. Many times they are hit and many times they keep pushing on through. Though battered and bruised, plus many many healing items later, they reach the large menacing doors that hold the exit to this drowning castle of stone.

"You okay, Luigi?"

"Me? What about you?"

"I'm used to this kind of stuff. It's amazing how numb you get after doing this for as long as I have."

"...Wow...That was...Dark."

"Sorry."

"Think we can still do this?"

"It's just two rabbits and Wario beat them. I mean...How hard can they be?"

On those words, they push open the doors. Inside is a weird arena, lights, and scoreboard, all things out of place in a castle in the water.

"Oi, Dunk! Look who finally got around to giving us a fine howdy do."

The voice shouted as a soccer ball flies out of nowhere to smack Luigi in the face.

"These fools ain't worth the wait, Shoot."

A basketball zooms by and bounces hard into Mario's crotch, earning the room a very high pitch whine.

"Just look at these wannabe Warios. All they are missing is yellow coloring and two hundred more pounds."

The first rabbit hops down in front of them. A tall white rabbit with black eyelids, he wears a black jersey with a purple skull on the center and a pair of white kicks.

"Yeah, I thought we were fighting Mario and Luigi. But all I see are two tamatos with caterpillars on there faces, mate."

The second rabbit follows suit. He too is a large white rabbit with dark circles around his eyes, wearing a purple shirt jersey with a black skull on the center, yellow shorts, purple socks, and purple with yellow strips cleats.

"Don't you mean tomato?"

"That's what I said. Tamato."

"Whatever. But I get what you mean. Hey Mario, stop crying. Just sack-up like a big boy."

"I'm-a not Mario, I'm Luigi. All these bloodstains make my overalls look red!"

"Heh, I was talkin' to the fat one."

"Oh."

"Hey! I'm-a not fat! Just big boned."

"You-a could stand to eat a little healthier."

"Hey, who's side are you-a on anyway?"

"Sorry, bro. My head's a little fuzzy on account of my face is mashed."

"Oi!"

That gets the brother's attention.

"Now did you lot come all this way to gibber jabber amongst yourselves or are you here to thrown down?"

"Yeah. I've been itchin' to see if these fools are half as tough as Wario was."

Mario scoffs.

"You-a though Wario was tough?"

"He is."

"Tougher than you wusses."

"Despite his obesity, Wario is quite athletic and wields superhuman strength that both exceeds that of Mario's and almost rivals that of Bowser and Donkey Kong. His trademark move is the Dash Attack which involves charging with his shoulder out. He is shown to have a wide variety of grappling moves and can use his strength to punish his enemies in a variety of ways, including the Piledriver, Corkscrew Conk, and Wild Swing-Ding. He has the ability to use his body weight to his advantage. He has shown the ability to Ground Pound causing small earthquakes to stun his foes and is able to cause tremors by using the Earthquake Punch."

"Wario is commonly associated with explosives, including Bob-ombs, and ways of stealing coins, such as a magnet or even a large vacuum of sorts."

"Hey! He stole my thing!"

"Oh yeah, bro. Because vacuuming is such a rare skill."

Luigi hard flicks Mario's nose.

"Ow!"

"Like we were sayin'...Wario's obesity is attributed to his unique eating abilities and superhuman gluttony. He can eat inanimate objects and has used his oversized bites to injure foes. Some of his transformations are related to him eating something like apples for Fat Wario or stale garlic for Wario-Man. He also has the power of farting to stun or injure his opponents."

"That's just gross."

"Agreed."

"Wario's greatest strength, though, is with items, such as the Power Up Pots which give him unique transformations. He also shares some transformations with Mario such as Fire Wario and Metal Wario. Wario has other transformations associated with self-injury, such as Flaming Wario, Crazy Wario, Flat Wario, Frozen Wario, Electric Wario, and many more. Surprisingly, Wario is not injured by these transformations despite appearing to be so."

"So he's a heavier copycat, big whoop."

"You-a gotta admit, bro...That did sound pretty cool."

"Not as cool as Waluigi."

Luigi looks at them blankly.

"I beg-a your pardon?"

"Not so funny now, huh bro?"

Luigi flicks Mario again.

"Son of a...Do that one more time, and I'm-a gonna hit ya."

The rabbit pair smirk.

"Seems we hit a nerve, mate."

"A purple nerve too."

"Stop it! Waluigi is not cool!"

"Oh? Waluigi is talented in a variety of sports, including baseball and soccer. Because of this sports talent, Waluigi has many abilities displayed throughout his adventures. However, he is usually a technical character. These range from simple actions, such as jumps, punches, and kicks, to unusual actions, such as spinning to make a small tornado, creating thorny vines, and swimming in midair. And as a Technique character, he possesses neither too much strength or speed and relies on a special trait that would give him the edge. He is a balanced character, able to effortlessly play as an offensive character and a defensive character. His legs are shown to be particularly powerful, as he easily defeated Bowser once with a kick, and he is able to stomp others into the ground."

"Not to mention, when he plays my favorite game, football..."

"Do you mean soccer?"

"No, I mean football."

"But that's a soccer ball."

"It's a bloody football, you pillock!"

"Dude! Chillax. They're just tryin' to mess with ya."

"Yeah...You're right. Thanks, mate."

"Anytime."

"So as I was saying...When he plays FOOTBALL his power is very telling. His signature move, the Drop Rocket technique, is devastating! In addition, Waluigi is demonstrated to be a great jumper. His stats are seen to come close to Luigi´s jumping skills, if not surpassing it. He demonstrates excellent speed, being the fastest alongside Princess Daisy. His speed is doubled when he uses the Wall-Luigi! skill, enabling him to cross a field in a very short time."

"Waluigi also has a variety of abilities. He can distort his body into the shape of his emblem and create a tornado, which can drive his opponent away. He can also create tornadoes simply by dribbling the ball around himself in my favorite game, basketball."

"Now that I understand."

"Why you...!"

"Dude...What did we just talk about?"

"But he's being such a git."

"Ignore him. Haters gonna hate."

"Right."

"Waluigi also has the ability to summon and control thorny purple vines, which he uses for his Wall-Luigi! Super Ability. He also uses them as a whip in his Mega Strike. In his Deke, he also demonstrates to be capable of teleporting in purple puffs of smoke. In Mario And Sonic Oddly enough, he also displays the ability to use his "Γ" symbol as an energy projectile. Alongside the power to mask the Whiskered Eggplant as a baseball, Waluigi displays powers with magical and tricky natures. His special pitch in baseball is the Liar Ball. His Star Swing, the Liar Swing, consists of him hitting the ball and making it zig-zag during its path."

"Oh! And his Super Strike, the Drop Rocket, consists of him surrounding himself with purple smoke and kicking the ball, covering it with a smoke trail. How you like football now?"

"Soccer."

"I'll kill you!"

"*sigh* Like Wario, Waluigi prefers the Bob-omb. But he also uses a Piranha Plant. He also uses Professor E. Gadd's Coin Vacuum Orb to steal Coins from his others."

"What is with everyone using vacuums?!"

"That really blows if you-a ask me."

Luigi goes to flick Mario again, but Mario punches him before it happens.

"AHH! Mario! You suck!"

"BITE ME!"

The rabbits just share looks.

"Should we even bother fighting them? They seem to be doing a great job themselves."

"We have our orders, Shoot. We gotta make sure these two don't score. Ever."

"Yeah. The boss will be quite amiss if we fail."

"Who's your boss?"

Mario flicks Luigi.

"Are you dense? Obviously, it's Bowser."

*horn blares*

"Sorry, tubby. But that ain't even close."

"Fine...With how much you both were fanboying over them, it has to be Wario and Waluigi."

*horn blares*

"Who or what is doing that?"

"Wrong again, fool."

"Our boss puts them all to shame."

"But who she is not important. If your luck is bad enough, you'll be seeing her soon enough."

"She?"

"Your boss is a woman?"

"Enough talk!"

Shoot summons a soccer ball.

"It's time to show off our newest skills."

Dunk summons a basketball.

"Let's wipe the court with these suckers."

"Game on!"

"Yeah...You...Fuzzy-butts!"

Luigi is not very good at trash talk.

*horn blares*

Shoot kicks his ball, the force of which generates a power wind strike, and Dunk rushes behind it, building fire power in his dribbling of the ball. This is going to be one of the weirdest and wackiest boss fights the Mario Brothers have ever faced...so far at least. Because the best has yet to come.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	21. Night three: The unexpected unknowns

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The race is over and the lot of us head back home to Bowser's castle. Though some are not happy with how things turned out when that last kart crossed the finish line.

"I can't believe ya really did that, sugar."

"You make it sound like I did something nobody saw coming."

"This is a travesty! I demand a do-over!"

"Oh my god! Will you give it a rest already, Iggy?"

"I will not! This is insanity!"

"Calm down. It's not like you came in dead last."

"I should've been first, dang it!"

"So you came in second, big whoop. Stop crying about it."

"I'm not crying! A three-way tie is just unheard of!"

"Just because no one's ever done it before, doesn't mean it can't happen."

"Morton like the sound of that logic."

"And really, are you mad about coming in second place when you normally would've been in fourth?"

"..."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You're only mad because of Spiny Rage. Give it some time and you'll feel better. And if not, I'll make you something sweet to turn that frown back around."

"What? No fair! If Iggy gets treats, then I want some too, Mama."

"Same here."

"Us too."

"Fine. What do you guys want?"

"Cookies!"

"What kind?"

"Like the ones made by Zess T.!"

"No! Make them like Tayce T. does!"

"No! Like Saffron and Dyllis!"

"How about I make them all. That sound fair? Just a big platter of cookies for everyone."

"Yay!"

Ah, these kids. It's moments like that which remind me of just how young they are despite their age and size. I really need to keep reminding myself that these are kids and not just mean that because they're younger than me. These are children...His children...I must maintain a level of professionalism. I can't let this affect me more than it already has. I like Bowser. I like his kids. I consider them to be my closest friends that border on family-ish. But I can't deny the facts of the matter. Bowser has a thing for me. Some of his children have a thing for me. Yet he's getting married to Princess Peach and I am unsure of the whole thing.

Do I have feelings for Bowser that are as strong as the ones he's expressed for me? I mean, sure, I kissed him. And I can't lie, he's an amazing kisser. Like, oh my god my legs are melting, kind of kisser. Like, not only would he be able to wake Sleeping Beauty with his level of tenderness but could easily get her to agree to make a baby with him. Wait...Can Koopas and Humans even make kids? What would that make? How would intimacy even work? Uh...Aaah! Mental images I can't unimagine! I need brain bleach!

"Mama be careful!"

Snapping out of my less than ideal thoughts, I manage to narrowly avoid driving into a ditch that goes more off-road than this kart or I can handle.

"You okay, Lynn mom?"

"I'm okay. Thanks for the heads up."

"Lost in thought again?"

"Yeah."

"I think you might have a problem."

"Nah, sugar doesn't have a problem. She just needs to choose better times to be thinkin' about me~."

"At this point, I think you're the one with the problem, Roy."

On and on it goes. I swear, these kids argue more about my relationship status than people on MushSpace or Koopabook. And they keep talking all the way back home, which as you might guess, makes it really hard to think when your brain is trying to keep attention on multiple voices at once.

At least this sort of drama and nuttiness will end when we step inside.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIRE THOSE TWO?!"

Or I could be wrong and things will only get more insane.

"*ahem*"

Coughing loudly manages to get attention on the eight of us, thus causing Bowser to pause in his yelling at what looks like Kamek while Kammy watches.

"Did we come back at a bad time?"

The mad King huffs through his nose a few times and runs a calming hand through his hair.

"No. This is nothing. Just stupid stuff. Why don't you and the kids relax or something? I'll join you shortly."

Now, I know better than to believe a bold face lie like that. There are too many obvious red flags pointing to something has happened. But I also know when and where the right time is to poke this proverbial bear with my question stick. And now is not that time or place.

"As you wish, my King."

I direct the kids to follow me out of the room. Whatever it is that they're fighting about, we don't need to get in the middle of it. Besides...I now have tons of cookies to make. I don't need more distractions.

Sadly for Kamek, a distraction would be a welcoming thing to what was going on right now.

"Now where were we...Oh yes...Explain to me why you thought hiring those two would help me?"

"Sire, please...They're just to run interference. Heck, if they actually succeed then what's the problem?"

"The problem is, I DON'T LIKE THEM!"

"But, my lord..."

"*heavy snarling*"

"Can I speak here?"

Kammy chimes in.

"The way I see it is...Bowser, you should appreciate the support Kamek is trying to do so you can be victorious."

"I am."

"And Kamek, you should've respected Bowser enough to have consulted with him before hiring on Wario and Waluigi."

"I know."

"...Then what is the big ding dong deal?"

"The big deal is, the enemies of my enemy are a huge pain in the shell. That farting bus thinks he's so tough that I'd allow him to destroy MY nemesis. Every time we manage to get on the same team, he thinks he can do whatever he wants. Only I am allowed to defeat Mario! Me! Not him! And I'll be damned if somehow that purple stick bug steals away what is rightfully mine! Bad enough I'm resorting to calling on their old foes. The last thing I wanted was to actually have them join in all this."

"I just figured, since we hired her, you'd be more okay with some extra muscle."

"She's a different matter. I can actually list the times she's never failed on one hand. Care to guess the number? Twice! Wario can't even best her and Waluigi...*scoff* I doubt he'd even blip on her radar."

"Who are you two talking about?"

"The most feared treasure hunting pirate to roam the sea."

"The woman that once she sets her eyes on something, won't rest till it's hers."

"The self-made queen of Kitchen Island."

"The one, the only, the Boss of the Black Sugar Gang...Captain..."

[Meanwhile: In the Kitchen]

"Maple Syrup...Where the heck is the Maple Syrup?"

I dig through several cabinets, finally finding a large jug of syrup hidden behind some flour bags.

"Geez, these cookies are such a pain. This had better earn me some serious brownie points."

If I were making a single type of cookie, this would be no big deal. But making multiple verities at once is crazy. The Zess Cookie can be made by cooking some Cake Mix with Gradual Syrup, Maple Syrup, and a Mystic Egg. The food heals fifteen HP and fifteen FP, making it superior to the original Big Cookie, which restores twenty FP. The Big Cookie is made with Cake Mix and a Blue Berry, Red Berry, or Yellow Berry, a Goomnut, plus an Egg. The Big Cookie can be used to replenish twenty FP if used. This can be considered an improvement, as the various ingredients heal either 0, 3 or 5FP. However, some of the ingredients heal HP as well, and this bonus is lost when creating a Big Cookie. The Kooky Cookie is made with Cake Mix, a Koopa Leaf, a Stinky Herb, and Maple Syrup. It restores fifteen FP and will cause one of three status effects: Invisibility, Electrified, or Sleeping. The Sweet Cookie Snack is made simply by cooking a Cake Mix. The Sweet Cookie Snack restores ten HP and cures Poison. The Yoshi Cookie is a weird one, being made with Cake Mix and a Melon. A Yoshi Cookie restores fifteen HP and fifteen FP.

Doing all this, the cooks are less than happy with me. While I try not to make a mess, working with or around the bunch causes its fair share of issues when navigating each of our own dishes and oven use.

"Did you really have to bake cookies now?"

"I know, but it was either do it when I came back or have the kids yell 'we want cookies' for hours."

"True, but we'll get it worse if the King doesn't get his food on time."

"Didn't he get a cart of food like a couple of hours ago?"

"Doesn't matter. We are tasked with making meals on time regardless of anything eaten in the meantime."

"Understood. At least I'm almost done. Just ten minutes left."

"That's good."

"Can I ask what's on the menu tonight?"

"No, but I can let you in on tomorrow's little surprise...Peachy Peaches."

I cock my head confused.

"Every dish will contain Peachy Peaches. Fresh Juice, Fruit Parfait, Fruity Cake, Fruity Hamburger, Fruity Punch, Fruity Shroom, Heartful Cake, Peach Juice, Peach Tart, and a Zess Dinner."

"But...There are no peaches in Fruity Hamburger. It is made from a Power Steak and a Keel Mango."

"That's just one way of doing it. A Hamburger may replace the Power Steak and a Peachy Peach can also be used instead of the Mango."

"Oh...Cool. Yet...Why all the Peach stuff? Did her royal pain make demands?"

"Yes, but no. The menu is what his lordship requested."

"Bowser wanted this? Why?"

"For the party, silly."

The dead stare I give alerts him that I haven't a clue what he's talking about.

"*sigh* The King is planning to woo the Princess with a rather, how shall I say this...Sickeningly sweet display of romantic affection to gain her favor into a willing marriage."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Huh?"

"You sounded off. Disappointed even."

"Did I?"

Am I really disappointed by this? I knew this was his plan from day one. So why is there a small part of me that feels pissed off?

"Well, it is a known thing I that disapprove of him settling for her. But if he's that desperate for her things, then who am I to object."

*ding*

"Oh! The cookies are done!"

Wow, that was a faster 180° than what the kids and I did on the racetrack. Maybe I am upset. I mean, don't I have a good reason to be? That hot head came on to me, tells me his feelings, kisses me, and what is he doing now? Planning some big show to get some messed up bitch to marry him. That coldblooded son of a...!

*yelp and clang*

The cooks look over at me as I now hold my right hand tightly in my left.

"What happened?!"

I'm gritting my teeth to keep from yelling.

"*sharp wince* Skin on oven contact!"

One cook is kind enough to help get my stiff form over to the sink so I can soak my hand in cold water. OH MY GOD THIS STINGS! Sure, it's only a minor flesh wound and it won't take long to heal if taken care of properly, but that's not the point right now!

"You should see the medic and make sure that doesn't become infected."

"Fine. But can you make sure the kids..."

"Yes, we'll make sure the children get their cookies. Now go. We can handle things from here."

I do as told only after wrapping a wet cloth around my hand. Next time, I'll remember to use the oven mitts and not the potholders. Here's hoping the medic can make sure this doesn't end up leaving a scar.

[Meanwhile: In Castle Four]

The door leading out of the castle opens, being partly submerged, water rushes in till it levels out. Soon, two forms step out into the soft glow coming from the rising full moon above that is casting onto the glistening watery land around them. There they stand. Mario and Luigi. Tall and proud, with a strange white ball under their arms that seem to have long floppy ears.

"I'm-a little surprised."

"Oh yeah. By what?"

"They put up more fight than I gave them credit for."

"You're always underestimating your opponents. One day, you're gonna run into someone that you can't beat and you'll be too stubborn to retreat when you should."

"*scoff* Uh, hello, it's-a me we're talking about. I'm-a the hero. No big bad boss can beat me."

"Mark my words, bro. Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."

"...You big nerd."

"There is nothing wrong with taking time to read good literature."

"Whatever. You think we should really be bringing these two with us?"

Mario spins his white ball on his finger. The face of Dunk glaring in the spinning.

"They wouldn't last long in there, what with all those predators. Least we can do is drop them off at the next village."

"It's weird, right? That they can go from being rabbits to balls?"

Luigi holds out his ball and looks it over. The face of Shoot appears to be sleeping or just unconscious.

"Yeah, it is weird. But also very convenient."

"True. Can you imagine having to lug them both?"

"Well..."

"I am not fat!"

"You're over 200 pounds! For crying out loud, bro. The average weight someone of your height should be is around 100 to 130 pounds."

"Don't start this again. And what do you mean 'someone of my height'? I'm not short!"

"You're so short, Peach fully bends down to kiss you."

"You're one to talk. How much do you weigh, Mr. 5'9''?"

"150 pounds. Perfectly fine."

"...Why are you so on my case about this! Wario is 308 pounds and I don't see you barking at him!"

"That's because he's not my brother!"

Luigi's shout rattles Mario and the two pause. Slowly, the brothers continue on. Silence being their new companion. This journey to save the Princess was starting to become more of a therapy session than either of the two ever thought could happen on such an adventure. Their only hope, they didn't kill each other by the time they reached the Koopa Kingdom. But it made them wonder, was Peach doing okay? How could their dear sweet Princess be handling being in the claws of their most wicked of enemies?

[Meanwhile: In a rather pink room at Castle Koopa]

Princess Peach sits at her vanity in her nightgown and brushes her hair a total of a hundred times per-side. She may be stuck in her room, but she'd be damned if she didn't stick to her regiment of maintaining her looks. Water does wonders for the skin. It keeps skin hydrated and healthy. So she starts her beauty routine first thing in the morning by getting out of bed and drinking a full glass of water. Throughout the day, she will continue to consume clean clear water but not overdo it. The latest medical research suggests that you drink 0.5 ounces to 1 ounce of water per pound of body weight. If you weigh 130 pounds, you should consume between 65 and 130 ounces of water every day. To put that in a more familiar measurement, 8 ounces is equivalent to 1 measuring cup. So for our 130-pound example above, you would need to drink between 8 and 16 measuring cups of water every day.

Another step in her daily care is instead of using a low-quality facial cleanser in the morning, she simply rinses her face with warm water. If properly washed before bed, the skin will still be clean in the morning. Therefore, there's no need to wash with a cleanser again. In fact, overusing facial cleansers can dry the skin, which can lead to an increased production of oil.

The human body continuously produces new skin cells. The old ones are sloughed off over the course of the day. Those dead skin cells sometimes don't slough off as quickly as we'd like and can actually clog pores and leave the skin looking older than it actually is. In order to maintain healthy, youthful, glowing skin, one needs to remove old, dead skin cells and encourage proper cellular turn over. Exfoliating both removes the old dead skin cells and speeds up cell renewal enabling new healthy skin cells to grow. As important as exfoliation is, it's easy to overdo it. Exfoliation, by nature, removes the top layer of dead skin cells and exposes the more delicate, sensitive skin underneath. This can be good for the skin's appearance but can also make it more susceptible to sun damage. So instead of exfoliating every day, she restricts this step to once a week to protect her skin from the ravages of the sun and to keep it looking smooth and healthy.

Regardless of age and skin type, skin needs moisture to look and feel healthy. That's why a moisturizer is the next step in her daily beauty routine. She uses a moisturizer every day after washing or rinsing. So after a morning warm-water rinse, she applies a moisturizer to help keep her skin looking young. In her youth when battling acne or oily skin, she chose a moisturizer that was lightweight and oil-free. And never does she forget to moisturize her décolleté (neck and chest). These parts of the female body are just as susceptible to wrinkles that can make a lady look years older.

When not adorning her face in the finest of makeup that highlights her gorgeousness so that others can gaze at her in marvelous splendor, she removes it all so as to be all natural. To get rid of the dirt and makeup on her face, she washes with a cleanser or gentle soap before bed. By washing with a cleanser once a day, she can avoid over-washing which causes dry skin. That said, if she exercises during the day, it's a good idea to wash her face immediately after so that the sweat doesn't clog her pores and cause acne. Oh, the horror! It's also important not to neglect her neck and chest during this part of her beauty routine. The skin of the neck and chest responds to makeup, sweat, and sun just like the face does.

Then again, nothing really compares to a nice long steam bath to soothe away all woes and one's self ready for a full night's rest. And what better way to drift off to dreamland than to be wafted in one's most delightful of aromas? Nothing but the best for the lovely Princess. Pink Flower, her absolute favorite, is described as a chypre. A floral fragrance that begins with fruity notes of mandarin, orange, and raspberry, along with spicy hints of black pepper. Rose is mixed with delicate white flowers including jasmine sambac in the heart of the composition, which ends with the base of patchouli and vanilla.

"*sigh* Funny...I don't think I've ever had such a peaceful stay at Bowser's Castle before. Even if I am confined to this room. Though I must admit, I'm rather surprised he finally took this seriously. I can't so much as sneeze without someone knowing. But it's not like it matters. Mario will come. He always does. I mean, it's not like that fool possibly said anything that was true. Mario saves me because he loves me. And Luigi..."

That has her give pause. Luigi is but a friend. Besides, he's with Daisy. Such a foolish idea it would be to even consider, nay, entertain the remote possibility that he would bare feelings that match that of his brother.

"Luigi...Loving me...How absurd. *chuckles*"

And yet...a small part of her wish it to be true.

Her chortles were short-lived, as the sound of her food tray hatch opened a little and an envelope slid in. Curious, she stops her brushing and goes to check it out. The black envelope was bordered in red and sealed with a wax emblem of Bowser's face.

"Oooh. Fancy. Didn't think the beast was capable of such finery."

Tearing the side she freed the parchment that was secured inside.

"Dear Princess, you are cordially invited to join me, his supreme awesomeness...God that's tacky...To join me at a show in your honor. There will be live entertainment, the freshest of foods, and only the finest of finery. I do hope you agree to grace my home further with your presence. Your smile alone will shine a new light on this world. All the gold in my treasure trove fails in comparison to your lovely locks. The sea itself envies your eyes for being a blue that it can never hope to be. And roses themselves wilt in shame, for none that bloom can ever wish to be as perfect as you. ...No way Bowser wrote this. It can't be. This is like a million times better than anything any guy has ever written me. Heck, the most romantic thing Mario's ever wrote me was a poem that compared me to spaghetti. ...I understand if you say no. Our interactions have been less than civil. But I feel we, as two adults, can put our differences aside and converse properly like the royals we are. So do not think of this as a forced order by an abductor to a hostage. You can refuse this if you so choose to. But do think of this as a humble King meekly requesting the company of a wonderful Princess for a short time so that the two can enjoy each other's company and exchange pleasantries. A servant will arrive at your door around noon and will await your answer. Till then, I thank you for taking the time to bother even reading this. Honestly, I'm betting you tore this to shreds or burned it or even flushed it down the drain without even opening it. Lord knows if I hated me as much as I think you hate me, I'd probably do that. Wait! Don't write that down! Why are you still writing this?! *laughs* Okay, now I know he made this."

Wiping a stray tear of amusement from her eye, Peach places the letter down and returns to her hair brushing.

"I suppose I can humor the guy. Plus it would get me out of this room for a little bit. And I guess he said some pretty nice things. Heh...I wonder...Can I possibly milk this?"

Thus the gears in her mind began to turn, beginning to formulate a very wicked scheme of the heart.

[In another room of the castle]

The Koopalings and Jr. partake in many cookies as they await the return of their surrogate human mom.

"Do you think she'll get a scar?"

"I hope not."

"I dunno. Scars are pretty epic. Sugar with a scar sounds hot~."

"As always, you're view on the flower is less than appealing, brother."

Ludwig had finally managed to wash off all the marker scribbles his siblings had marred him with and has been with them since the aroma of fresh baked goods caught his attention.

"Haters gonna hate."

"Mama already has a scar."

Jr. states rather calmly while eating, causing the others to look at him questionably.

"What?"

"No, she doesn't."

"I never saw any on her."

"You don't look...*burp* hard enough. Excuse me."

"You're excused."

"Oh yeah? Then do tell, little expert, where is this scar that none of us has seen?"

"On her forehead. It's really light and it hides in her paleness."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh...But that's just the main one."

"Main one?"

"You know what I mean. It's the biggest one. Mama has a few tiny ones too. Some on her legs, I think a few on her back, but most are on or around her hands. Very easy to miss."

"...Why?"

"Yeah. Did you ever ask how she got those?"

"Morton would very much like to know the same."

Jr. scarfs down a mouthful of cookie.

"*muffled*"

"What?"

"*gulp* I said...*sigh* Just ask her."

"Why ya little..."

"No! All you do is try to force on her. Stop and ask yourselves. What do you really know about her?"

Even Roy, who had been seconds away from throwing a punch, had to pause in something as blatant as that. What did they really know about the girl that had come into their lives and was now someone they wanted all to themselves? No sooner did questions start to form in their minds did a door open and in walks in the woman herself. She smiles, as she always does, only now a decent size bandage covers the back of her right hand.

"Mama!"

The young Prince bounds to her and for once she didn't fall over in the collision.

"Hi, sweetie. Sorry to make you wait and worry."

"Does it hurt?"

She picks him up and cradles the boy in her left arm.

"Nah. It's not the first time I've been burned. This gal has a high pain tolerance. Plus the doc gave me some numbing stuff that is amazing. I can't feel a thing from the elbow down. Heheh...Tingly."

The woman dangles her hand and the boy messes with it like it were some strange toy. But the other, older children, are now taking Jr.'s words for more worth. She's been hurt before? Burned even. She did tell them she had nearly died in her younger years. Just what is the story behind this human?

"So...Do any of you know about the little shindig Bowser's throwing tomorrow?"

And just like that, the feeling in the room changed dramatically. Maybe if they gently steer this away...

"King Dad is going to ask Peach to marry him!"

Or Lemmy can blurt out the bluntest response next to getting smacked by a mallet.

"Oh. And here I was thinking he was just going to flaunt his power like a showy peacock."

Something seemed off. Sure, it was something she'd say, but the sound...It just felt different somehow.

"You're not upset, are you, Mama?"

"Upset? Why would I be upset? So what if he wants to marry that harpy of a woman. It's not my place to tell him no, I'm just the caretaker. It's his life, he's King, he can do what he wants. Even if what he wants is something we all know is not worth putting a ring on that shrew's finger."

Okay, something really isn't right. Jr. climbs up her and sits on her shoulders, his little arms hug her head almost as if he was comforting her for some reason that is unknown to the others. Some of the Koopalings begin to grow suspicious of such odd signs, while the others are without a clue. The girl, however, merely joins them and acts as if the young Prince is a living hat.

"So with Lemmy confirming you guys are in the know about this for, what I'll guess is way longer than the hour or two that I've been aware of it for...What role is it you'll be playing for big bad Bowser?"

Wendy is the first to speak up.

"Well, we're kind of suppose to put on a show."

Lynsie tilts her head a little in question.

"A show?"

Ludwig's turn.

"Milady...My siblings are to perform the songs I've been working on."

That made her chuckle.

"Heh...I didn't see that one coming. I assume you've all been practicing when not in my line of sight?"

"Eh...Not really."

"Oh?"

"Tomorrow's just a rehearsal for the real deal."

"King Daddy plans to do it the day after."

"Hmmm...Doesn't give you all much time to get ready."

"Rush work is something of a specialty of ours."

"We do our best when we know something is on the line."

"Like when Wendy exercises!"

That has them all looking at Lemmy.

"What did you say?"

"You know...When you get on that treadmill thing, you stick a picture of a guy you like on a string and chase it."

Wendy's face turns as red and Jr.'s hair as snickering starts to threaten to become laughter.

"Lemmy...Run."

The tiny young man is confused until Wendy leaps at him.

"I'm going to get you!"

"What did I do?"

Lemmy's innocence is going to be the end of him one day, just not now.

"And what about you, Jr.? You going to be on stage with the rest of the family?"

"Nope. I get to host."

"Can I get a sneak peek?"

Iggy shakes his head.

"It won't be as fun to spoil the surprise now, would it?"

She pouts.

"You tease."

Larry snickers.

"You know us, Lynn Mom. We just love being mean."

She frowns but then smirks.

"That's true. And since I'm part of this wackiness, maybe I can try being mean too. For example...Maybe I should take the rest of the cookies away."

"No!"

"That's just cruel."

"Yeah...Keep the cookies. I can't be mean to you cuties."

"Yay!"

"Though I will have to spoil things for you..."

She stands up, being mindful of Jr. upon her shoulders, and grins.

"If my sense of time is right, which I reckon it might not be, but it should be supper time. It would be best to save the rest for later and not ruin your appetite."

The room fills with the whines of the young ones.

"Now don't give me that. I can always make more if you want. But tomorrow's a busy day for you all and tummy aches would be rather troublesome. So no more groaning. Let's go eat, wash up, then hit the sheets for some sweet dreams. Sound like a plan?"

"On one condition."

Morton smirks and she sighs.

"And would that be, dear?"

The biggest of the children approached her, his height showing of his maturing stage in puberty while his age does not. Morton smiles and hugs the human tight, earning him some hearty giggles.

"Morton misses Lynn lady's hugs."

"You can have all the hugs you want, Morton dear. You just have to ask."

"Can we have hugs too?"

"You all can have huggies. But then it's off to dinner, okay?"

"Okay, Mama."

Once Morton released his hold, one by one, the others took their turns getting affection before taking off to get the last meal for the day...All but Roy that is. The big bad bully hung back as his brethren obeyed Lynsie's request till it was only the two of them in the room.

"You okay there, tough guy?"

"Ya, I'm fine."

"You sure? Normally you wouldn't miss a shot to get some sugar from your sweetheart."

That makes him smirk.

"So ya admit to being my girl?"

"I admit nothing but concern."

"Oh yeah?"

Roy moves over to her and she stands strong, something he finds charming.

"Ya know ya like me. Ya can put on that pretty brave face of yours all ya like. Ya can say no and deny it in front of the others too, but deep down..."

He trails his claws along her arm playfully.

"Ya can't help that feelin' that is whisperin' in my voice...Makin' me feel like ya want me so badly is one of the sexiest, most flatterin' things you can do to me~."

She half smiles.

"I can't feel that."

"Denial doesn't work on ya, sugar."

"No, I mean, I really can't feel that. You're touching my numb arm."

Roy's cool breaks and he gives a nervous laugh before rubbing the back of his head with a faint blush.

"Heh...My bad."

"Look Roy...This thing we do, I...I think we should..."

"Wait, before ya say it, I totally agree."

"...You do?"

"Yep. We should come out as official. That way, the old man will back off and stick to his pink ball & chain."

She frowns.

"Roy..."

"By the way, did ya ever ask the old man about our date?"

"I did. But..."

"He tell ya no?"

"He didn't really say yes or no. But..."

"Alright. I'll take it as a yes. So pack a bag, sugar. After pop's little weddin' mess, I'm takin' ya out to Bubblaine. It'll just me and you~."

"Roy, I'm trying to...!"

His sudden kiss silenced her. His hands move up to hold her face in his palms and her hands came to hold his wrists. Her touch made him stop, yet he didn't move away, only lean his forehead against hers.

"Roy..."

"Sugar...It's hard to wait for somethin' ya know might not happen. But it's even harder to give up when ya know it's everythin' ya ever wanted. So, please...Don't tell me so stop lovin' ya. Because I can't and I won't. I refuse to. Not till you're mine, Lynsie."

Her eyes began to moisten and a sad look was fighting to take over her face.

"I...I don't understand why you're doing this, Roy."

"What's there to understand? I like ya. A lot. Ya make me happy. Ya make me laugh. You're smart. You're different. You're lovingly sweet. You're a little crazy and awkward. But your smile alone makes my day. If I can be honest..."

He pulls back a bit to remove his shades, making it all the more serious in nature with pure eye contact.

"I don't know much about ya. I don't know where I stand with ya. I don't know what I mean to ya either. Yet what I do know is this...Every time I think of you, I want to be with you."

"I do like you, Roy. You're the kind of guy that a girl can only dream of. Never has a guy paid me more attention or fought so hard to make sure he's near me. You are the first to be so many things I've never had before."

"Then let me continue to be that person. I can do things for ya like no one else in this world."

"I'm sure you're right about that."

"Then why does it feel like you're about to say somethin' bad?"

"I'm not, or I'm not trying to. *sigh* It's hard to say this. ...I don't think there's a way this would work."

"Why? Is it 'cause you're older than me? I don't care."

"No, it's not that. But the age thing is a part of it."

"How? It's a four-year difference."

"You're forgetting I'm not a Koopa. Human years are different than yours. Our ages are as different as a cat and a dog."

"I don't care. That doesn't change how I feel about ya."

"Roy, you are a teenager in your species's age. That thought pops up every time you flirt with me and it makes me uncomfortable. I can't get involved romantically with a kid."

"Hey! I ain't no kid! I am Roy Koopa. Master of Sky Zone. Toughest of the tough. No kid can ever do what I can."

"I know you're not a kid...You're a teen."

His brow frowns hard in a glare.

"Did the others put ya up to this? Was it Jr.?"

"What?"

"I bet it was Ludwig. That pompous snob thinks he can screw up my girl's head and break us up so he can have a shot, well no dice! I won't let anybody mess this up. You are my girl. Mine! No one else's."

"You're blowing this out of proportion. There's no conspiracy to break us up. We're not even together to be broken up in the first place."

His glare gets more intense and she returned it back to him with a weaker one of her own.

"Answer me this...Is there someone else?"

"Huh?"

"Is there someone else?"

"That likes me or that I like?"

"That ya like."

"I like everybody."

"I mean like like. Like the kinda like that makes ya want to smooch."

"Oooh. Got it."

She looked off in thought.

"I don't know."

That answer didn't work for him.

"Ya don't know?"

"I don't know. Since being here, I haven't been trying to find love. Yet, all of you...For the first time, I've found others I want to be around. I've found others I can't get enough of. I found others that accept me for who I am and don't tell me to change. I don't know if I will fall in love with any of you. But I do know I can fall in love with all of you. Just...Let me understand my feelings and at the same time, you can learn more about me. Is that a fair trade for you?"

He folds his arms in annoyance but does give her words some thought. She made a simple request. The least he could do is go with it. After a moment or two, he placed his shades back on and nodded coolly.

"Fine."

"Are you mad at me?"

The tough guy bully melted at her worried puppy eyes.

"Nah, sugar. I ain't mad at ya. Sorry if I came off like that. I just care about ya so much."

"I know. I care about you too, Roy."

She pulls him into a warm hug and he smiles kindly.

"So, tough guy, may I escort you to dinner?"

"Heh...Please, do me the honor, sweetheart."

He slides his hand in hers and she clumsily grasped it due to the sedative. That contact, that willingness to be with him and not push away, that is what his heart knew to mean she was his or at least choosing him to focus on.

But as they headed toward the dining hall, her thoughts were on other matters. She knew Roy's affection was playful, but since Bowser gave the kids "The Talk", the play became serious. Letting him down now will be even more challenging. And speaking of Bowser...His feelings in all this are even more of a pain. He admits his feelings for her, he says he wants her, and yet all his attention is being poured into Princess Peach. What would his plan be after the wedding anyway? Make Lynsie his woman on the side? Not cool. Not even a possibility. That ain't how Lynsie rolls. It's either full commitment or nothing at all. Maybe Roy isn't such a non-option than first thought. Sure, he'll look like he's 20 or 30 by the time she's in her golden years, but that's not really a big thing that bothers her. For that matter, if Bowser looks like he's 30-something, how old does that make him really?

"Hey, sugar..."

"Yeah?"

"Jr. told us that ya have scars. Is that true?"

"Yeah. I got a couple here and there."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"So there is one on your forehead?"

"I thought you knew about it. You always have the closest contact with me besides Jr.."

"I had no clue. Where is it?"

"Look dead center for a sec. It's small and very faint."

"...Whoa! How'd ya get that?"

"Metal baseball bat."

"Who hit ya?"

"It was an accident. I was coming back home when my brother and his friend were starting to play some ball. I was cutting my way through the bushes to get there quicker and just as I popped my head out, the bat was swung, and...That's when this happened."

"Was that the thing that almost killed ya?"

"Oh no. Far from it. I didn't even see a doctor for this thing. The thing that I almost died from was falling from a tree."

"...For real?"

"I know. It's super lame. But hey, it was high enough that the fall damage was that bad."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Landed my spine on an exposed tree root."

"Super ouch."

"Knocked the wind out of me and I couldn't exhale, only inhale. Almost died from the inability to breathe until I drank some water and reopened my windpipe."

"Okay, mega ouch."

"It's fine. I don't climb trees anymore. ...I do miss doing it though."

"No way. After hearin' that story, I'm keepin' ya grounded."

"Awe man. *snicker*"

"So minus the head scar, what are the others from?"

She looks at her hands.

"Random junk. Some are from accidents, others from animal interactions, very few are from fights."

"Ya fight?"

"If I have to."

"What's bad enough to make a sweetheart like ya fight?"

She pauses for a bit.

"Sugar?"

"Let's just say, other's aren't as accepting of humans as you are and leave it at that."

Roy frowns with concern but chooses not to pry. It's true that humans aren't the most liked kind in most kingdoms. But who or what would dare try to harm his sugar? Maybe that was why she can be prone to striking back if pushed enough. There's only so many times you can let things slide before enough is enough. But Lynsie? Really? Just what is the story behind her? What mystery is hidden behind that smile? That was something he planned on finding out and keeping to himself. His girl's secrets are his and his alone. No need to let any of the competition know more than necessary. Where's the fun in that?

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	22. Night three: Full moon madness

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Night had descended on the land. Evening meals had been consumed. Beds were filled with tired bodies longing for rest. Yet one of these beds is less restful than the rest. The Koopa King was, for lack of better words, annoyed as hell. For one, his trusted adviser made an ill-advised call and hired the two people he hates almost as much as he hates the Mario Brothers. Then when he was looking forward to a nice dinner with his son and the woman his heart desires, he ends up dinning alone because they decided to eat with his other children. So instead of calming down through amusing chatter, he brooded in his frustration and due to this, sleep was being less than kind to him.

Bowser tosses and turns, but he just can't make himself comfortable. Something is preventing him from feeling right. Something is just off. But what? Were the pillows not fluffed just right? Were the sheets overly starched and tucked in too tight? Was the food not hot and filling? Were his boxers giving him a wedgie? Was the room too dark or not lit enough? What is his ability to sleep's major malfunction?!

Maybe a long drink would help him clock out. Fumbling around his nightstand, his claws grasp the tall glass bottle and he smiles while bringing it to his lips. Sadly, his smile morphs into a grouchy snarl and the bottle is thrown across the room, resulting in it shattering with emptiness.

"*low rumble* Curse this night. *groan* All I want to do is sleep...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!"

This now presented Bowser with a choice. He could either continue to lay there and hope that sleep would take him in the next five minutes, or he could get up then go down to the wine cellar for a fresh bottle only to then haul his scaly butt back up to bed. Both of these options were their own level of annoyance. But who's to say which one of the two would bring about the results he was wanting. So with that in mind, he mentally flipped a coin and sat up. Looks like he's going for a walk to the cellar.

Putting his shell back on, the very agitated King leaves his room with a visible aura that roars "DON'T GET IN MY WAY!" and if looks could kill, well, any poor soul that happened to catch a glimpse of him would surely poof into coin by force of his glare alone. A cranky Bowser is a dangerous Bowser. His path is burned into his memory. It doesn't take him long. Hallways look the same in his state, but instinct leads him to where he wants to be. The cellar is the one area in the entire castle that is cold, not including the freezer in the kitchen, and for this reason, it makes the best place to hold champagne or wine.

All champagne and wines need to be stored away from light, especially direct sunlight and fluorescent fixtures. UV rays can cause the drink to be 'light struck,' giving them an unpleasant smell. Darker bottles are better protected and some bottles have UV filters built into the glass, but enough UV rays can still penetrate to ruin it. Bottles need to be stored on their side, especially the corked bottles. If they are stored upright for a long amount of time, the corks will dry out, and air will eventually get inside, spoiling it. Also for extended aging of wine (over 1 year), refrigeration is a must in most parts of the world; even a below-ground cellar is not cool enough. The storage temperature should not go over 75˚F (24°C), for longer than brief spans of time. At 75°F, the liquids begins to oxidize. An ideal temperature for storing a varied collection is 54°F (12.2°C). Letting the temperature drop below 54°F won't hurt it; it'll only slow down the aging process. Rises in temperature can also force liquid through the cork; drops cause air to be sucked back in. So a cooling system is in place to keep things perfectly chill. The temperature in a storage area should be as constant as possible. All changes should occur slowly. The greater the changes in temperature a bottle suffers, the greater the premature aging of the drink from over breathing. The temperature should never fluctuate more than 3°F (1.6°C) a day and 5°F (2.7°C) a year, especially with red wines, which will suffer more temperature-related problems than white wines.

Each bottle is secured to prevent movement. Vibrations may negatively affect the alcohol. High humidity keeps the corks from drying and minimizes evaporation. The system doesn't allow the humidity to go too much over 70%, however, because it can encourage the growth of mold and cause labels to loosen. A hygrometer is used to track the moisture conditions and humidifying or dehumidifying techniques are used as needed. Good ventilation helps prevent musty odors from entering the bottles. And all bottles are stored for an appropriate amount of time. Not all booze improve over time. Generally, new world, inexpensive wines or champagne will not improve. Red wines can be stored and aged for anywhere between 2-10 years to mature. This, however, depends on the type of red wine and the balance of its sugar, acid, and tannins. Most white wines should be consumed after 2-3 years of storage (though select White Burgundies "Chardonnays" can be aged for over 20 years). Vintage Champagnes will generally last around 5-10 years before it starts to lose its fizz. Please note that this is from the date of purchase, and not from the date of Vintage that is displayed on the label of your bottle. Vintage Champagnes are typically aged in cellars for around 4 to 5 years before they hit the shelves. Non-Vintage Champagnes will expire a little more quickly after around 3-4 years after purchase and are aged for 2 to 3 years before that before they are available for sale.

Though now down here, a new question popped up in his head. Which was he in the mood for? Ha! Trick question. The answer is clearly all of the above. This is how he came to be guzzling his way back to his room with one arm loaded with four large bottles.

"*gulping into a hefty sigh* Oh yeah, that's the stuff! Nothing like a good drink to help me sleep."

"Good evening, Lord Bowser..."

A solitary Boo phased through walls, simply like it's enjoying a leisurely stroll.

"Such a nice night for a walk. Wouldn't you agree?"

"...Walk? You do know you don't have legs, right?"

"Semantics."

"Right...Whelp...See you later. Or not. I don't really care what you spooks do."

With that Bowser keeps on moving, wanting only to return to his bed and pray that this time sleep will come. Except...Now there's a Boo hovering close behind him and it's starting to kill his buzz before it can even begin.

"Can I help you with something or are you trying to tick me off?"

"Nope. Just enjoying this night."

"Then go do it somewhere else."

"But nights like this aren't for those to be alone. It's a special time after all."

"...What?"

"Have you not seen it? The moon is blue."

That stopped the King in his tracks.

"It is?"

The Boo merely snickered before vanishing, typical of a spirit causing unknown mischief. Still...Maybe that ghoul was telling the truth. It wouldn't hurt to check it out. Maybe a little detour is okay, then off to bed. So while still drinking, Bowser wanders over to a nearby window opening and sees if it's true. Lo and behold, there it was. Peeking through the dark clouds, the normally silver orb that hangs in the sky is now painted in a shade of azure.

"Whoa..."

Amazing. He had ruled here for ages and yet this was the first time he had seen this. It made him feel foolish. Though not so foolish due to the alcohol.

*roar*

What was that? Where did it come from?

"*soft* Do that again. I freaking dare you."

Sounds like it's outside. The garden maybe? But who would be outside at this hour? Bowser looks at the bottles in his arm and sighs before tucking them away in his shell. Looks like sleep will have to wait just a little longer. Not like he could sleep while knowing someone was out there without his say.

[Meanwhile: In the garden]

"Do I really have to tell you AGAIN?"

I slap the top of the Bone Piranha Plant the children got for me and it snarls back as I rub my sore arm.

"No biting. If you bite me, I will be very mad. And if I'm mad, then you don't get treats. At best, you can nibble, but no bites."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"No! I told you this before. I can't take noticeable damage. Do you know the hell I'd get from them if they wake up to see me with teeth marks all over?"

"*indiscernible growls*"

"What do you mean you don't care?! You're root's on the line too. They'll get rid of you if they find out you wounded me."

"*indiscernible snapping*"

"Hey! Watch your language."

The plant snarls but lowers its head in understanding. Since getting this thing, I've been sneaking out when able to feed it and spar. It's a habit I have that I would do back at my old Mushroom Kingdom home. The Piranha Plants that grew around my house, or rather, the ones I planted around my house, I used them for defense. These nasty plants are the perfect guards if they are bordered around the area just right. Their only weakness? Sleeping, a fireball from a Fire Flower, a Super Leaf tail-spin, Super Star, or a Gold Flower, a hungry Yoshi, sickness, kicking a Shy Guy, Koopa or Buzzy Beetle shell at them, hammers, punches, spraying water into their mouths until they blow up, stomping or jumping on their heads, ice balls from an Ice Flower, hunger, projectile Yoshi eggs, turnips, and depending on the type, anything that flies. Wow...um...Maybe I've relied on these too much?

Weaknesses aside, they make up for it in attacks, especially when they have free roam in the earth and not in a pot of some sort. This is why I train with them, well, only the ones that I know are going to not try to kill me. Sadly, I'm only limited to this one stubborn bonehead while I stay in Castle Koopa and it likes to forget to play nice when it gets bored. The last thing I need is puncture wounds from teeth being very obvious on my bloody body. Hell, the kids are already uppity over old marks on me, new ones will only cause alarm I don't want or need. But I need to spar. I need to keep I shape. Things are happening and I need to be ready for anything. Plus this lets me work out my frustration by attacking. Yay for therapeutic violence!

"*indiscernible growls*"

"I am not distracted."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"You bit me only because my guard was down on that side. It's called a blind spot."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"I was not distracted!"

"*indiscernible growls*"

"Sarcasm is unbecoming of you."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"No, you don't get a treat for biting me."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"Oh? And what possible information could you have that is treat worthy?"

"*indiscernible snarls*"

That makes me pause and this plant smirk while folding its leaves smugly.

"Okay, that's treat worthy."

It trills joyfully as I take a bit of scrap food from my pocket and toss it into its hungry maw.

"By the way, how are you doing that? Eating I mean. The food doesn't fall through your skull holes and when you 'swallow' it doesn't have a stem to go down. So...What's up with that?"

"*indiscernible noises*"

"...That only makes me more confused."

It shrugs and I dust myself off.

"So...That's really the juice on the grapevine? Mario and Luigi are already past the fourth castle?"

It nods its head.

"No wonder Bowser is suddenly doing this marriage thing. Time is limited now. Each day, they get closer. They're forcing his hand now. Damn it. The wedding day is coming soon."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"That's not a swear."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"No, it's not."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"That, that right there was a swear. Bad Bones, very bad."

It snickers at me and I stretch into a fighter's stance.

"Okay, giggles, you ready to continue?"

"*indiscernible purrs*"

"I swear...You seem to enjoy this more then you should."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"Okay, just remember the rule. No biting. You can do anything to defend yourself, but no biting. Just as I can do anything to defend from you."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"What? It's totally fair. You can't be hurt by anything I do to you and I'm not aiming to kill you."

It wriggles annoyed.

"Don't cop an attitude with me."

It mocks me with its leaves and I am unamused.

"Okay, have it your way."

I swipe at its head and it ducks into the ground. I put my guard up and stay on alert. It has the advantage like this. It could pop up anywhere. Ground rumbles. I look for clues where it'll sprout. Suddenly I'm tossed into the air as it springs under me and I fall on top of its head. It attempts to buck me off but I hold on and the wrapping of my arms around its head shuts its mouth. It fanatically tries to shake me off, thrashing violently, yet for my own fun I say on and try to set a personal record.

"*indiscernible growls*"

"Want me off? Then try harder!"

"*indiscernible snarls*"

"I don't care if others see. If you think that bothered me then I would've stopped five guards ago."

"*indiscernible growls*"

"What do you mean it's not a guard?"

"Spitfire?"

The plant freezes when I flinch then it slowly turns us around to so see Bowser standing there with a bottle in hand and a confused look on his face.

"H-Hey there...Heh...You're up late."

"I can say the same about you."

Sensing an opportunity, the Bone Piranha Plant jerks me off and retreats into the soil of the garden to hide. Now on my butt, I giggle nervously about the situation.

"So...I bet you're thinking this looked weird."

"Just a little bit, yeah."

"How much did you see?"

"Enough to know I can trust you to win rodeo contests in the future."

"Heh, yeah."

"So...You do this often?"

"Do what?"

"This. Sneak out and doing whatever it is you were doing."

I sigh and rub my arm.

"Lynsie?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about. Just needed to vent a little."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Do you wanna talk?"

He offers me his empty hand and I just stare at it. The longer this drags on the more his face frowns.

"Is something wrong?"

I'm not sure how to be around him anymore. I pick myself up.

"We should go to bed."

He looks hurt.

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

I feel bad. The guy is sweet and he cares about me. But this Peach wedding stuff...I don't know what to do about it. I try not to make eye contact as I move past him.

"Are you mad at me?"

I wince at his voice.

"No, I'm not mad at you."

He follows me.

"Then can I ask why you seem mad?"

"I'm not mad."

"Then why are you...?"

"Stop!"

He flinches.

"Just stop. I'm not mad. I come out here to spar with the plants and vent out my frustration. That's it."

"But why are you frustrated? Did the kids do something? I told them to lay off you for a while."

"I don't want to talk."

That seems to end things as we enter the castle. Man, booze really makes him chatty. Because not even ten steps into our stone home does he start up again.

"Are you upset about the wedding?"

Thank god he can't see how hard I'm rolling my eyes.

"I know you don't like the idea of me marrying Peach. I don't like it either. But you have to understand, it's the only way I can take what's hers."

No, it's not. You can kill her and usurp her rule by default. You're only keeping her alive to enjoy humiliating her, breaking all that she has made.

"It's my destiny to rule the Mushroom Kingdom. It's the start of a better Kingdom. A better place for us all. Surely you can understand that."

Of course, I understand. I just don't like that one step in how you mean to do it.

"I'm sacrificing to make everyone happy. The needs of the people outweigh my needs."

I know. That's why you're a great King. It's why you are my King.

"Lynsie, please...Say something. Even if it's to tell me to shut up. I just want to hear your voice."

Argh! My heart! Damn him for being nice.

"Lynsie?"

"...Did they really make it past Castle Four already?"

This confuses him.

"Wha...How do you...?"

"We'll have to be ready to defend the base. We must show no mercy."

His hand on my shoulder makes me stop walking.

"Tell me what is going on with you?"

"Why do you assume something is wrong?"

"Because for one, you're acting weird. And second, you won't look at me. I'd have to be way more plastered to miss signs as big as those."

Okay, Lynsie, don't baby this man. Set the line and stick to it. If he really cares as much as he says, he'll make the choice to either stay behind it or cross it for you. Be strong girl. You can do this.

I turn around to face him with my arms folded behind me. I put on a strong front while meeting his confused and buzzed eyes.

"There is nothing wrong with me, my King. I have only been doing what is necessary. I am tending to the children. I am preparing for the fights to come. I am set to take on any that set foot uninvited in this castle. Such is my duty to the crown and your family."

"You don't have to sound so robotic about it."

"My advice, you should spend less time worrying about me. Go to bed and get some sleep. It's getting late and you have much to do tomorrow."

"How do you...What...Who is telling you all these things that even I'm just learning about?!"

"Focus, my King. You don't want to look like a fool in front of Peach, do you?"

That seems to make something in his head click.

"Oh...Oh, I get it now."

I cock my eyes in curiosity.

"You're mad about the engagement party."

My curiosity dies along with my mood. But he doesn't seem to pick on this shift when he pulls me close and wraps an arm around my shoulders like we're buddies.

"Look, there's no reason to be mad or jealous about this little thing. *takes a drink* It's just a formality. You know...See if she'll make the wedding part easier by going along with it. You have nothing to fear."

I don't know if it's because he's drunk or if he just doesn't get it, but I'm starting to really get pissed off.

"Fear?"

"I only have eyes for you, spitfire. That royal pain can't batter those baby blues and have me melt. Nope. Not anymore. You're the cat's meow. *laughter*"

The cat joke tickled him extra due to the drink. He's busting a gut and slapping my arm in his merriment. Unfortunately, he's hitting the arm that my buddy Bones had bit. So this has me bite my tongue and jerk away from him, holding the sore spot defensively much to his confusion.

"Hey now, heh, you're not getting soft on me, are you? It was just a tap."

I've had my fill of him for the night. I don't want to continue, if it does I might explode and that's bad.

"Goodnight, my King."

I aim to walk away. Yet he follows and keeps drinking.

"Come on, it's a just a joke. Lighten up."

"I said, goodnight."

"What's with the formalities? You know you can say my name. In fact...It would really be sweet of you to say my name with a cute smile. Maybe come back to my room. Maybe we can cuddle. Then you can give me a little kiss?"

Damn it, Bowser!

"Will you back off already!?"

I snap.

"I'm trying to be nice about all this! I'm trying to not make this uncomfortable! I'm trying to ignore all the blatant stupidity of going along with this scheme! So stop pushing my buttons before I #%*&$ jump out a window!"

My rage must have snapped him sober because the glossiness in his eyes burns away to clarity.

"What the hell is your problem all of a sudden?"

You just have to keep this conversation going, don't you?!

"My problem? My problem is you!"

"Me? What did I do? I've been nothing but nice to you."

"Don't make this out that I'm the villain here. You're the one that is being stupid."

He glares at me hard.

"Watch your mouth, Lynsie. You don't want to say something you can't take back."

"The Mario Brothers are reaching the halfway point and instead of making sure that we're ready for those two, you're organizing a party to propose to a woman that despises you? News flash! She's going to say no! Nothing you do will make her agree! She will take and take and take until she's had her fill, then rip your heart out in front of your eyes, then grind her heel into it for good measure. This is not only a waste of time and resources but without a doubt, it is the most asinine plan I have ever heard."

"Lynsie...You forget your place."

"Oh? Heh, I know where I stand here. I'm the girl that takes care of everything, from your kids to even you, and you supposedly love me. Yet you're going to great lengths to sway that pink prissy #%*&$? No! I don't think so. I'm not dealing with that kind of crap. So you can take your delusional plan and cram it down that bottle because that's the only thing you'll be kissing!"

Suddenly I'm on the floor. It happened so fast that I didn't even register it. I look up at Bowser, his free hand appeared to have been swung and regret took his features. Slowly it dawned on me what happened, though the taste of blood helped. He smacked me. Didn't help that he's super strong so that even a light smack was like a punch. But he hit me. He actually hit me.

"Lynsie...I...I didn't mean..."

My brain is in shock. I know I was lashing out, I deserved some sort of reprimand, but I didn't think he would respond like that. The champagne. It had to be that damn drink. I can't fully blame him for this. But I sure as hell won't let him off easy either. King Koopa's gonna learn the hard way what happens when you fuck up with me. I get up off the floor and look him dead in the eyes.

"Go to bed, my King. You have much to do and little time left to do it in."

With that, I turn on my heel and begin the walk to Jr.'s room.

"Lynsie! Wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

I just walk away. I hope you like stew, Bowser. Because you're going to brew in some for a good long time. This was not how I expected the night to end. It could've been worse though. It could've been much worse. For that, I'm okay with. I can only hope sleep will help me get over most of this insanity.

Bowser couldn't move. He could only watch her slowly disappear into the shadows of the hallways. He fucked up and fucked up big time. His hands were shaking. The back of his left hand could still feel the side of her face on his scales. He looked down at his right hand, the near-empty bottle he held reflected everything he hated at that moment. He felt like puking. In disgust, he smashes the bottle on the floor.

"What have I done?"

He wanted to run after her. To beg, plead, and grovel at her feet in hopes of forgiveness. He wanted to but his body refused to move from that spot. No way in hell she would want to see his mug after that. Not so soon at least. He was going to pay the price for his actions this night and the price was going to be astronomical. Way to go Bowser, a girl actually likes you and you hit her because she mouthed off.

Feeling lower than dirt, he skulks his way to his room, practically dragging himself there. Once inside, he took off his shell and the three remaining bottles tucked inside clattered to the floor. Those bottles taunted him. One the one hand, drinking them would help him forget this. Yet the other hand knows better, that drinking them would only make things worse and make things further depressing.

"No more."

He takes the bottles into the bathroom and dumps the contents down the toilet.

"I don't need you. Get out of my life!"

With a simple flush, the temptation was gone. Yet Bowser felt far from clean. He took his time in that room. Trying to wash away the sick he felt but knowing it will linger until this issue is utterly resolved. All the hot water in the world wouldn't make a difference in how he felt. Even his bed made no change, no comfort, no relaxation. Right now his only bed buddy was guilt. And guilt wasn't cuddly at all.

"Ugh...I'm such a dumb ass. I'm the King of this huge empire, I'm wealthy beyond compare, I have control of magics the world is unable to comprehend, and yet she's right. I am without a doubt, the biggest idiot on the planet. I mean, look what I'm doing for shell's sake! Why am I even trying to woo Peach? I'm just going to hypnotize her anyway. So what's the freaking point?! *tired groan* And now she really is mad at me. Why do I keep doing this? I'm sabotaging myself. I have a good thing and I'm ruining it. Why? Why is it every time I like a girl something happens to mess it up and 90% of the time it's me that is the one screwing things over? Is this the flaw in my star? To have such amazing power but to be cursed with loneliness? Am I not allowed to love?! What kind of sick universe is this where it allows that jerk, Mario, to get so many lovers but won't even let me keep one relationship?! *long huff* Stuff like this never would've happened had I been able to create my own galaxy...Twice!"

Feeling dejected, the mighty King of the Koopas laid in his bed of woes. They say misery loves company. Well, right now that feeling was enjoying Bowser's self-loathing like a kid loves free candy. Of all the times to try to kick drinking and at the same time wanting to drown himself in it. But he had to. Look at what had happened. He made himself a complete ass. He struck the one girl to actually care about him and his family. He was going to make this right. He was going to make up for all this foolishness. He was going to prove himself worthy of her. But first...He was going to let her be or else she might literally bite off his head in anger. Lord knows his Ex tried that on more than one occasion. No, right now he needed to give her space. Give her space, but also take some space himself. After things got ugly, they both need some time alone to reflect, recover, and heal. Of course, if she still needs space after several days, at least he can reassure her that he loves her and things will be okay. A little emotional support can go a long way, even if there's a need to go cool off. Yet for now, sleep calls.

[Meanwhile: In Jr.'s room]

I creep my way inside and silently shut the door. Now the hard part, finding my way to the bed in complete darkness and doing so without bumping into anything that might wake up the young Prince. First I remove my shell. Odd, it feels heavier than normal. Probably because I've bottled all my negativity into this thing. The very symbol of my Koopa pride. Damn that man. Putting all this on me. I love you, he says. You're my world, he says. Then quit doing shit for Princess Peach! That's what I say.

"Mama?"

Ah hell.

"Mama? Where are you?"

I sigh and make my way over to him, only stubbing my toe once on what felt like a bedpost. Such fun.

"*whimper* I'm right here, sweetie. I hope I didn't wake you."

"Where did you go?"

I climb into bed and hold him gently. His tiny arms lock around me.

"I woke up and needed some milk to get sleepy again. Sorry if I worried you."

"It's okay. But now I'm awake."

"That is a problem. What shall we do?"

"Hmmm...Lullaby?"

"Okay. Which one?"

"I like that one about the man who would be king."

"Okay. Let me just remember how it goes."

I think a moment and try patting out the melody till I lock it down.

 _"_ __As he travels on the beast of burden, moving up along the mountainside. As he gazes looking down the valley, no regrets but his pride. As he journeys across mountain passes, insignificance sweeps over him. His reflection of the beauty around him, feeling empty inside. He is running from his wildest thoughts. He is running from his everything. He is looking now to find something, hoping he could be saved...__ _"_

Jr. gets cozy, he loves it when I lose myself in song. He says it helps him sleep better, so I don't mind.

 _"_ __He's searching for the answer now. It's something that he's managed to avoid up until now. Real conviction that he craves. He needs to find the answer sooner than later. Pushed himself to the limits. He had to strive for all the harder things in life. But what's the cost of giving now? His life and time are the only things that he has...__ _"_

I'd never tell Jr. this until he gets a bit older, but this is not a lullaby. This is a metal song that works so well if sung in the right way. I tend to rework many songs I know into lullaby tunes for him.

 _"_ __Life is not a rehearsal, all he has is the one chance to get it right. Leaving really is the only way to know. Maybe one day they'll forgive him what he's done, with all the pain of lying too early in the grave. Destiny, no good to hide away. Penance now will be his only way. Understand, no good to run away. Penance now will be his saving grace...__ _"_

This song...It's making me think of him. That foolish man. The one I call King. Oh, Bowser...You dork.

 _"_ __Tries to make his peace with God, all is forgivable but it's left a little late. Trying something that he's not, is it possible to change such a lot? He's taken someone's life away. There's not a day that goes by he regrets what he's done. He should have found another way. But the good book says an eye for an eye. In reflecting on decisions that were made, on judgments that will haunt him 'till his grave. No-one has the right to take another life, but in his mind, he had no choice so be it...__ _"_

You drive me crazy. You're a huge pain. But I still care, big guy. You just tick me off sometimes.

 _"_ __Destiny, no good to hide away. Penance now will be his only way. Understand, no good to run away. Penance now will be his saving grace. Destiny, no good to hide away. Penance now will be his only way. Understand, no good to run away. Penance now will be his saving grace. Far, far away, the man who would be king. Far, far away, the man who would be king. So far away, the man who would be king. So far away, the man who would be king. Far, far away, the man who would be king.__ _"_

The song ends and I nuzzle Jr. softly. Sweet boy is out cold. Good thing the room is dark, the poor boy doesn't need to see the bruise that is likely to be forming now. I'm going to have to think of a good cover story for this thing. So long as his hand didn't leave details, I can maybe say I fell or walked into a door. The kids will all be doing things tomorrow. I can hide away and tend to this thing without causing alarm among the children. The less they worry about me the better. Better sleep on my left side tonight and bury my face in the pillow. It'll hide it from Jr. when he wakes up, he's always groggy when he first wakes so those sleep filled eyes won't see a thing if he turns over at me in the morning.

"Sweet dreams, dear."

I kiss his forehead and he cuddles me more. I hope your dreams are sweet, little Prince. Maybe they will be shared with me. Because lord knows, I could really use some sweet dreams right now.

[Meanwhile: The outskirts of Soda Jungle]

The brothers make camp for the night, all be it, with two tagalongs that are not so pleased with how things have gone down. Dunk and Shoot called a temporary truce till they can reach a safe zone.

"Again, no hard feelings about, you know, having to fight-a you and turn you into balls."

"It's okay, mate. You had to do what you had to do. Just let we were only doing our job."

"The boss is gonna have our hides for this. Freelance work is so not cool with her unless she says so."

"You never did-a say who this boss was."

"Ain't is obvious?"

"Oy! We're crew members of the Black Sugar Gang. Lead by the ruthless Captain Syrup."

Mario and Luigi share looks of confusion.

"Yo, these fools never heard of us."

"Blimey. You'd think as dangerous pirates go, our group would make some sort of headway in the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Well, it is a landlocked Kingdom. Not-a really a great place to hear about sea talk."

"Makes sense."

Mario passes some mushrooms to all of them and they stab them onto sticks for roasting.

"So this boss of yours...What's she like?"

The rabbits shoot Mario looks.

"Why you wanna know?"

Luigi sighs.

"He's always like-a this. Please don't-a humor him."

"Hey, come on bro. I'm-a only asking to better understand our two friends here."

"Yeah, right. Fool me-a once, shame on you. Fool me-a twice, shame on me-a."

"Mario's a player?"

"Sounds like the man in red is a bit of a bovver boy."

The brothers look at Shoot confused.

"A what?"

"It means a youth who deliberately causes or seeks out trouble, normally a brother."

"Man, I told ya, speak normal English. No one understands your British slang."

"I am speaking proper English."

"Oh yeah? What do you call a hammer?"

"Simple. A Birmingham screwdriver."

"What's a dog?"

"A very unattractive woman."

"What's the fuzz?"

"That's the bobby."

"The what?"

"The coppers."

"What?"

"Police! What part of that did you not understand?"

"Fool, none of that made any sense!"

"Like any of your words do, mate? What do you leaving quickly?"

"Bailing."

"To fall asleep?"

"Crashing."

"And to call someone on the phone?"

"You holla."

"What?"

"You know, to give a ring."

"That makes no sense."

"Um, guys?"

"What?!"

"Your mushrooms are burning."

That stops the bickering for now. Food is always more important than petty squabbles.

"So this-a captain of yours...Is she tough?"

"Baby steps, bro."

"What? I'm not-a asking for her phone number. This is a legitimate question."

"Why? She's not-a someone we'll be fighting."

"Not true, mate."

That got their attention.

"The boss let the crew help the big lizard for one reason. She's helping him too."

"We don't know what she's doing on her end. So you're out of luck getting information about that from us."

Luigi slaps his palm to his face but Mario is intrigued.

"Funny. Bowser somehow always manages to get-a women to help him. I wonder how-a he does it?"

"Focus, Mario. Can you-a give us anything about your boss?"

"Well...We are around a campfire. I suppose a story or two is expected."

"I got this one..."

Dunk makes himself comfortable and eats some now fried mushroom.

"Okay, our first big adventure with the Captain was ages ago. We were called the Brown Sugar Pirates back then. Wario, still reeling from his defeat at the hands of Mario and the loss of his castle..."

"It-a was my castle. The jerk stole it-a from me."

"And then you lost it-a to the bank."

"Still, it-s was mine. I want that on the record."

"Whatever. Like I was saying, he sets out to find new riches. Wario decides to make his fortune by stealing all the treasures he can from someone else, which ended up being Captain Syrup."

"Not the best idea mind you."

"Our crew has stolen many treasures, which are kept and guarded throughout our base on Kitchen Island. One of the treasures the gang has stolen is a giant golden monument of Princess Toadstool that we were holding for ransom to the Mushroom Kingdom. Ultimately, Wario decides to raid Syrup Castle, the location of Captain Syrup and her hoard of treasure."

"Again, not a very good idea to do."

"Wario intends to retrieve this statue and sell it back to Mario for the price of a castle. After exploring the island, stealing our treasures, and infiltrating Syrup Castle, Wario confronts our leader, Captain Syrup. She summons a genie from a magic lamp to destroy Wario, but he defeats the genie and Syrup. Captain Syrup escapes by blowing up her own castle, promising to get her revenge. In doing so, the treasure is revealed: the giant gold statue of Princess Toadstool. However, from what we've heard in the aftermath, Mario appears in a helicopter, thanks Wario, and takes the statue away in front of his eyes."

"Oh yeah...I-a forgot about that."

"Must have been funny to see ol' Wario all ticked off."

"That's always-a funny."

"Speaking of funny...Still holding the genie's lamp, Wario summons the genie and wishes for a castle. The genie tells him that he requires money to grant his wish, and so Wario gives him all the coins that he had 'collected' over the course of the adventure, plus trades in all the found treasures for more coins. Exactly how well the genie grants Wario's wish depends on who you ask. Some say Wario got a castle. Others say a Chinese pagoda, a log cabin, a tree-house, or a tiny birdhouse. But after going over all our lost loot, I know what that greedy fool got. He collected all the treasures and had enough coins to reach the 99,999 limit. That genie gave Wario an entire planet with his face etched on its surface."

"Planet Wario? I bet it's-a made of gold."

"Not impressive. I hear talk that there's a planet made of diamond out there."

They all whistle impressed.

"My turn. *ahem* The story begins at Wario Castle. There he lies at his bed, taking a deep nap. However, three shadowy figures approach the castle from outside. They are Pirate Gooms, loyal minions of Captain Syrup and members of the now named Black Sugar Gang. The pirates infiltrate the building and steal Wario's treasures, which he collected during his earlier adventures. To distract Wario and prevent him from chasing them, the pirates cause havoc in the castle by turning on a giant faucet, abandoning a vicious snake in his cellar and installing an oversized alarm clock. After this, the pirates escape and leave Wario in the mess they caused. Wario eventually wakes up by the alarm clocks's commotion and he sets off to pursue the thieves, but not before rectifying the state of things in his home."

"That was the most fun I had in years. For real."

"During his pursuit of the pirates, Wario learns that the fleeing bandits have scared his pet hen away, so he ditches his quest for a brief moment to rescue his beloved pet. He resumes the pursuit after the hen is safe again. Wario manages to get to the pirate's ship before they can set off. He drops the anchor, so the ship is forced to halt, but is then stopped by the ship guard Bobo, who delays his progress so the pirates can escape via a hot-air balloon. Wario chases them through the overgrown jungle of Maze Woods and a city with an unknown name."

No one would find us there. Where were we? No clue. That's how secret it was."

"Wario eventually arrives at Syrup Castle, the hideout of the mischievous pirate gang. Horrified that the pirates managed to return to their fortress, he continues his pursuit and breaks into the building. After battling many of the pirate grunts and four ducks, Wario confronts the pirate leader herself in combat. After defeating Captain Syrup and demolishing her aircraft, Wario blasts the pirates out of their fortress, reclaims his treasures and returns home to resume his nap. However..."

Shoot pauses to eat for a moment.

"Eventually, Wario returns to Syrup Castle and proceeds to a mountain range somewhere near the building. There he discovers a secret cave in which the pirates store their treasures. In a final raid, Wario overcomes the difficulties in the pirate cave and plunders Syrup's riches. He then returns home for the final time, but not without the Giant Spear Man following him closely. The pirate's motivation of doing so is unclear. Though it's not really that unknown. He was tasked with guarding that loot with his life. And he followed that order until his final breath when Wario got sick of him following him."

"These sound-a more like Wario stories and less about-a your boss."

"Do you really want to hear the parts where we stood around waiting for the fat man to show up?"

"Point taken."

"Alright, I got one more in me..."

Dunk summons a basketball and spins it on his finger.

"One night, the greedy pirate Captain Syrup sneaks into a museum looking for treasure to steal, when an item known as the Ancient Globe catches her interest. Upon inspecting it, she sees there is another world within the globe called the Shake Dimension. Within the Shake Dimension, dark clouds have set in as the peace within has been shattered by the marauding pirate known as the Shake King. The Shake King has stolen a legendary treasure known as the Bottomless Coin Sack. He also kidnapped and imprisoned all but one of the peaceful Merfle tribe, along with their queen, Merelda who was tied up. While the Shake King gloats, the one Merfle that managed to escaped imprisonment, vows to find someone from the outside world who can help his people and leaves. Seeing the events unfold, Captain Syrup decides that stealing the treasure for herself may prove too difficult, and so she steals the Ancient Globe from the museum."

"This is where the plot thickens."

"At Wario's garage, Wario is seen fast asleep in his car. At dawn, the bubble that is blowing out of Wario's nose pops and he is awakened from his slumber by the delivery of a very large gift, which, once unwrapped, reveals the Ancient Globe and a note from Captain Syrup explaining that there is great treasure within the Globe. Misinterpreting the note, Wario drops it and gets a hammer. Then, Wario prepares to smash the globe open with the hammer when suddenly smoke bursts from the top, causing Wario to miss and smack his head. The smoke forms a large telescope, which Merfle uses to reach Wario's world. Merfle then greets Wario, causing him to hit his head on the telescope when trying to look up. In a fit of anger, Wario grabs Merfle threateningly and was going to punch him in the face, when Merfle begins pleading for Wario's help."

"Now the tricky parts."

"Merfle explains to Wario, who shows very little interest in the story, even picking his nose as it is being told, about how the Shake King appeared, captured, and imprisoned his people and even stole the legendary treasure. At the mention of treasure, Wario immediately grabs Merfle and shakes him for more information. Merfle explains the properties of the Bottomless Coin Sack to Wario but warns him that if he doesn't rescue the other Merfles he would be stranded in the Shake Dimension. Wario decides that this quest will be worth his time, and prepares to enter the Shake Dimension."

"Because who else will save all that gold?"

"Captain Syrup's role during this adventure is to sell Wario maps of the different continents of the Shake Dimension at the Pirate Shop, which also sells various health recovery items. Captain Syrup is shown to lightly flirt with Wario, calling him 'handsome' on several occasions. After surviving all of the Shake King's traps and minions, Wario is able to battle the Shake King himself. It is a hard and long battle since the Shake King also has some of Wario's moves; however, Wario is able to beat him, resulting in the Shake Dimension being saved at last from the Shake King's evil grip. When Queen Merelda thanks Wario for saving her kingdom, Wario tosses her aside and takes the Bottomless Coin Sack. When returning to his world for the final time, he shakes the bag to collect all the coins he always wanted. However, the celebration doesn't last long. Catching Wario off guard, Captain Syrup takes the Bottomless Coin Sack and all the coins Wario shook out from it and makes a quick getaway. Wario is completely humiliated that he was double-crossed from the very start."

"And thus, story time is over."

"Wow...And here I-a thought he just sat on his-a butt all day eating garlic."

"We did tell you he was awesome."

"I-a still bet coin you-a can't tell us a cool story about Waluigi."

Dunk and Shoot look at each other before grinning.

"How much coin are you willing to part with, mate?"

"Mario, I-a don't think we should..."

"I-a bet fifty coins."

"*sigh* Why do I-a even try?"

"Alright, fool. Prepare to lose some of that gold, because this is the story of Psycho Waluigi."

"Psycho Walu-what?"

"One day, after taking a nasty fall from his hot air balloon, Waluigi wakes up in an unfamiliar land with a strange purple eyeball cloud watching him. The eye identifies itself as Psycho Iris and tells Waluigi that he is in the land of Unconcia. He goes on to explain that due to both the natural influence of the land and his own phenomenal power, Waluigi now has psychic powers. Now that he has his own superpowers, what will he do with them? Save a princess of his own? Nah! He's gonna go take out the Hazelnaut Army and conquer Unconcia for himself, taking over 30 kingdoms."

Hearing that, Mario is regretting making this bet. Luigi is amazed that Waluigi could even be brave enough to go on such an adventure, which is an ironic thought since it's coming from Luigi. But Dunk and Shoot know this story, it has so many confusing details that it almost seemed too good to be true. It's so crazy, it's almost like Waluigi or some fan of his made the whole thing up. Now it's to be told.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	23. Day four: Repairs under construction

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The sun once more shines its light upon the land and it's people this morning. Roosters alert all within range of their crowing that dawn has come. It's going to be a beautiful day. The birds are singing songs. The flowers are blowing sweet scents. On days like this, even in the burning hellish land of the Koopa, it is pleasant enough to bring a smile to one's face. The young Prince was one such these happy souls. His dreams were particularly delightful. Even upon waking, his good mood continued. Wriggling out of his Mama's arms he nuzzles her to see if she'll wake, granting him a good morning before he heads out to help his Papa. But she didn't move, only making slight sounds of discomfort and weariness.

"Mama? Mama."

"*sleepy* ...Hmmm?"

"I'm going to go now. Can I have a good luck kiss?"

"*sleepy* ...Sure."

Again, she made no effort to move. Mama must really be tired. Poor Mama. He helped her out and came to her, pressing her lips to his forehead, at least then he felt her pucker, so there's something.

"Thank you, Mama."

"*yawn* Love you, sweetie."

That made him smile. Sliding off the bed, the little Prince put on his shell and almost made it to the door. Yet...Something felt off. What if his Mama woke up before he came back and couldn't find him? She only knows the basic rooms. Silly Mama could get lost looking for him. Or worst...She could end up finding Roy or Ludwig and they'll try to be gross with her. Nope! Not having that! But how to fix this problem? Oh! His phone! He could leave it with her and she can call Papa to find them. Brilliant!

"Here, Mama. You need this more than me."

Slipping his phone onto his pillow, the young Prince smiles and takes his leave knowing he did good. Though what he doesn't see was her right eye opening slightly, the left eye unable to. She glances at the phone on the boy's pillow. Just staring at it before closing her eye again.

"*weakly* Such a good boy."

[Meanwhile: In the castle's lounge area]

The Koopalings and other minions are under the direction of Kamek as he orchestrates what will go down as the most moronic thing he's, unfortunately, going to put on his résumé.

"No, no, no! It's step, step, pivot, turn, step, turn, back pivot, step, step. Repeat three times, then twirl."

"Argh! This is so stupid!"

Roy is getting to that point of annoyance where he's weighing out if he should leave or not.

"This wouldn't be so bad if you'd stop tripping over your feet."

Wendy is not in a decent mood either, as she had only half the time needed for her to "get amazing".

"Did you even practice, brother? You knew about this for days."

Ludwig could care less for Roy's lack of grace, but to purposely disgrace the arts is unforgivable.

"Like shell am I wastin' my time learnin' anythin' to make that so-called Princess happy or make her like the old man."

"Morton don't want to dance for Peach either."

Morton was all for following orders, but this was degrading and just embarrassing in general.

"At least allow me to use pyrotechnics. Everything is better with explosions! *crazed giggles*"

Iggy was, for lack of better words, bored and nothing gets rid of boredom like blowing stuff up!

"If Iggy gets to use fireworks, then I want to use my ball."

Little Lemmy was told that his ball wasn't allowed for this, the poor boy feels naked without it by his side.

"Kamek, instead of dancing, can I be a disk jockey? I'm not really into all this moving around stuff."

Larry being the youngest, is always looking for a moment to shine, he'd like this to be his chance.

"Children! Please! If we do this as planned, then we never have to do it again. So can you all just stop."

Kamek was wishing Bowser had less faith in him at this point. Kammy didn't have to put up with this baloney. She was in charge of decorations and seating placement. All that required was using some magic to spiff up the place and making sure that the only table had the right chairs. The old bag didn't have to deal with this level of hell.

"Sorry, I'm late!"

Jr. enters the room.

"Where were you, my Prince? Practice started over an hour ago."

"Sorry. I woke up late and had to make sure Mama was okay."

"What do ya mean by that?"

Leave it to Roy to think the worst.

"Is sugar okay?"

Jr. and practically everyone else rolls their eyes.

"She's just sleepy, Roy. You think if something was really wrong I'd be here?"

Roy glares with a slight growl as Jr. takes his place on the stage.

"Okay then...If we can please...Please, try this again so we don't have to stay longer than we want to."

Kamek tries once more to bring order to the chaos.

"Where's Papa?"

"What?"

"Yeah, where is the old man? Shouldn't he be here to watch this little 'show'?"

"Lord Bowser will be present when he is needed to be. He is King. And as such, he still has many duties to perform before he can even think about coming here."

The children snicker.

"Yes, I said duty. Be mature."

Kamek raises his wand.

"Now let's take it from the top...And a one, and a two, and a three!"

[Meanwhile: Bowser's room]

The all-important King of the Koopa with so much work to be done laid still on his bed, but not in slumber. No. Sleep did little to comfort Bowser. And even in his waking did the memories of last night haunt him. He had struck the woman he professed love to. His shame was weighing him down like the heaviest of iron. Keeping him from moving even the slightest from the sheets. His eyes may be set upward to stare at the ceiling, yet that was not the vision that played in their sight. Over and over that split second moment played on a continuous loop. Aside from shame, the guilt was whispering things. Things that were eating at him little by little. Why? Because they were true. And that hurt even more.

'You are a fool.'

"I know."

'You are weak.'

"I know."

'You can not have her now. She is beyond you.'

"I...I might have a chance still."

'You lie to yourself.'

"She's forgiving. If I just give her time..."

'You hurt her. Confuse her. She is drifting from you.'

"That's not true!"

'Do you really love her?'

"Of course I do!"

'Then why do you still hold feelings for Princess Toadstool?'

"N-No I don't!"

'You have been after this woman for years. You have pined for her. You have brought her to the alter more than once. You still love her.'

"I hate that woman."

'You do. But that does not fully change the way your heart feels. Why else are you going to all this trouble? Why else do you think the girl said what she did? She is not blind. She sees your actions for what they mean. You speak of love to one yet favor another. That is why you are weak. You refuse to give yourself fully to one because you are afraid.'

"Afraid? Of what?"

'You fear that which you have already faced before. You fear commitment. You fear giving yourself completely to one in case something happens...Like it did with her.'

"Shut up!"

'So instead of loving someone truly, you hold back. You hold back and spread yourself out, keeping only close enough so that you expect to have a fallback. Why reel in your line from the plentiful sea even when you have a perfectly fine fish in your boat? That is what you tell yourself is it not? There's always another girl out there. But you made a critical error in seeking that girl. Peach may be one to seek favor in more than one gentleman caller, but not this girl. She does not open her heart to just anyone. Yet she did for you. And now you are betraying that rare trust by still favoring the Princess.'

"She knows it's just a farce. A sham wedding to get what is rightfully mine."

'The Princess.'

"No! I don't want her!"

'Then cancel this show. Call off this foolish peacockery and take her hand with no emotional ties. Claim the Mushroom Kingdom like a man of honor. With your heart in the hands of one girl and one alone. The one that will stand at your side and help you conquer this world because she knows it will make you happy.'

"Yeah, but..."

'But what?'

"...What if she still needs time to cool off? What if she's still upset by the time I tie the knot?"

'Then that is your fault.'

"You're not helping."

'You are a King. Yet you cower in your room like a soft-shelled hatchling. If you allow things to happen that are not in your favor than, indeed, that is your fault. Only you can change how things play out in your story. Do not let others write it for you.'

That clicked something deep behind the emotional slump in Bowser's mind.

"...You're right. You're absolutely right."

He sits up, his back popping from prolonged stillness.

"I have two choices. I can stay in like and sulk like a pathetic green fool. Or I can stand up and make things right, like a boss."

'And...?'

"And?"

'What of this frivolous charade? Will you stop it?'

"I would, but I've already put my time, that of my family's and my people's into this thing. I won't let it be for nothing."

'You are a fool. But that is a choice. And it is one that you alone make.'

The voice was right of course. But now wasn't the time for listening to it. Now was the time to prove it wrong. He was going to fix his mistake. By this hour now, his spitfire was most likely with his children. Probably encouraging them to do their best and working in a quiet laugh or two. If he can, he'd like to convince her to step out for a private chat. She'd have to. She wouldn't make a scene while the children are around. She's polite like that.

After getting in a few stretches, he puts his shell on and after psyching himself out to gather the courage needed to move his legs, he leaves his chamber to head for the castle's lounge area.

[Meanwhile: In Jr.'s room]

Waking is very unpleasant for me. As much as I don't want to wake up, I know I must. I can't lay here the whole day. Unfortunately, my choice to hide the smack by laying on it has proved to be a most painful choice. The swelling has shut my left eye and my cheek as my mouth feeling weird.

"*garbled* What the hell?"

Sitting up provides further proof of messed up stuff. The pillow is stuck to my face. Pulling it actually yanks on my skin. My only guess is that the skin broke and the pillow got caught up in the healing.

"*garbled* This is gonna suck."

I can pull it off, but the mess that may or may not happen will be bad. I can hide a lot from these people, but I can't hide all of this. I glace at Jr.'s cellphone and pick it up. I need help. I text a number.

[Ten minutes later]

*knock-knock-knock*

"*garbled* It's open."

The door slowly opens and Kammy enters with shock, quickly shutting the door.

"What happened?!"

"*garbled* I need you to keep a secret."

"You need me to what? Your speech is like you're talking with a mouth full of marbles."

I roll my eyes and use Jr.'s phone to text her.

"Huh? ...'I need you to keep a secret'."

She looks at me funny.

"That depends. What kind of secret are we talking about here? On a scale from one to ten."

I hold up both hands.

"A ten, huh? I'll ask once we get that pillow off your face."

She comes over, floating on her broom to be at level with me, and grabs the pillow.

"Now, this might sting a little."

I begin to regret this and then instantly do when she rips the pillow off my face with a tearing sound. No sound escapes me, but other things so. Like skin, blood, and tears. That quickly makes her shove the pillow back on my face.

"What the heck happened to you?"

I text her and hold the pillow so she can read it.

"...'Heal me. I'll tell after.' *scoff* I'm not a nurse, you know."

I text again.

"...'You're an expert in healing magic and I'm letting you in on something huge. Will you help or not?' Hmmm...On the one hand, I should report this. But on the other, if this is juicy enough, I can use it for blackmail. Okay, I'll help you."

Kammy pulls out her wand and I move the pillow as she blasts my face. The magic feels weird. Far different than that time she reversed Morton's spell. The swelling begins to reverse, the tears close and stop bleeding, and the discoloration changes back to its normal hue.

"There. It might take a little time, about fifteen minutes max, and you'll be right as rain again."

I move my mouth around and crack my jaw.

"Thanks, Kam-Kam."

"So..."

She puts on a very cheeky grin.

"Want to tell me how your face got so messed up?"

I sigh and look at the floor.

"Hmmm...Judging by that little clue in your behavior, I'd say something very personal happened, and not just you fell."

I nod.

"Oooh! This is juicy."

I look up and her giddy mood sours with the hurt expression I have.

"Human?"

"...He hit me."

She flinches.

"Who? The Prince?"

I shake my head.

"Don't tell me it was Roy? Sure, he's a thug. But that boy would never..."

I shake my head again and now she looks worried.

"It...It wasn't any of the kids, was it?"

I nod and rub my face, trying to keep my cool.

"It was late in the night..."

[Meanwhile: In the castle's lounge area]

Bowser opens the doors to the room. He is greeted with sights and sounds of work being done with an enthusiastic flair. Music. Dance. Song. Glitz. And even glam. This show is going to be very impressive, to say the least. Such a fact only hammers that "you are a fool" voice more into his mind. She must be going mad watching all this. To watch the lengths he has others going for to impress Peach. He deserves any lashing she has to give him for this thing.

"Your majesty!"

Kamek rushes over to his Lord.

"I'm glad you're here. I need you to go over the 'plan B' situation."

Oh right, he hired someone to trick Peach in case of a fallout in his persuasion plan.

"What's there to go over? He comes out when the signal is made. He does a little shtick. He dies. She cries and morns. She embraces I'm her only choice left. We marry. Done deal."

"Yes, but the lines need to be rehearsed in a realistic setting."

"*sigh* Fine. Who's going to play the role of Peach? Lynise?"

Kamek scoffs a chuckle.

"Her? Please. Like she would even agree to wear the dress even if she was here. I'll be playing Peach."

Wait, what?!

"What do you mean she's not here? And seriously? You'll look for any reason to wear that dress."

Kamek looks at him confused but blushing.

"I mean, she isn't here. The Prince informed us she was sleeping in his chambers and probably still is. As for the dress...I can't help that it makes me look good."

She's still in Jr.'s room? Okay...That's fine. He can meet her there and they can talk alone.

"Alright. Let's get this over with."

[Meanwhile: In Jr.'s room]

"...and that's when I asked for your help."

Kammy is stunned by my retelling of last night's events and learning that the Koopa King cares for me.

"I can't believe it..."

"I know. It's a lot to take in. Try being in my shoes when he suddenly just dropped that bombshell on me all out of the blue."

"What is with the males in this line?! Why can't they keep their wandering eyes with their own kind?!"

"...Yeah...That's not offensive at all."

"Oh! No offense to you, girl. You, I like. You're one of the good ones."

"Thank you."

"Besides that, I'm more amazed he hit you. It's not like him to strike a female intentionally. You know, outside of those wacky sporting games and kart racing. He never even uttered a curse when that she-devil shattered his heart."

"I don't blame him. He was under the influence and stress. I wasn't helping matters either. I was frustrated and was lashing out. I fueled a fire and got burned for it."

"Don't do that."

I look at her confused.

"Huh?"

"Don't make excuses for him. Bowser's a grown man. Drunk or not, he knew what he was doing. He had no right to do that. Whether you forgive him or not, you promise me you'll make that idiot pay for this."

"Kam-Kam?"

"I swear, I didn't raise that man to be this stupid. Honestly. Bowser is going to get a piece of my mind the next time I see his scaly hide!"

"Don't!"

She becomes confused.

"Don't mention any of this. Nothing said here leaves this room..."

I grip my knees and claw them a bit.

"I don't want the children to learn of this. It's a private matter between me and him. And it will be dealt privately as such. He has enough on his plate as is. There's no need to add gossip around the Kingdom."

"So you're going to let him off the hook?"

"I didn't say that. But I won't make him pay as you suggested. He has to earn me back. My respect is not easily gain. He will have to work hard to have it again. And the first step he needs to do is to look me in the eyes and apologize. Then...Then he can begin the long and parlous quest for redemption."

That earns a wicked smirk on her face.

"Heh...And here I was beginning to think you didn't any vindictiveness in you."

"Well, I am a woman after all. Not a very girly one, but still a woman none the less."

"Ah, the spunk of youth. Glad to see it's still around. So...Care to share just how you're going to make a King beg?"

"Come on now. A girl's allowed to keep some secrets."

"True. How does your face feel?"

"Like I didn't get hit by a truck."

"Good."

Now to make this even weirder.

"What's it like?"

"Uh?"

"The show? The one for Peach? What's it like?"

She frowns her brow.

"You needn't worry about that. Not like it should bother you. It's just something thrown together to make Peach be more willing."

"*sigh* I know."

She sits beside me.

"But it is bothering you...isn't it?"

I nod.

"...Do you...Do you care for him too?"

"I care for him. But I don't know if I love him. It's like...Part of me wants to. But then he does all these things for Peach and it keeps me from crossing over that friendship line. And then there's Roy..."

"You do know he's still a child, right?"

"More like an elder teen. Yet, if I can be honest, the dude is slowly winning me over."

"You can't be serious."

"Hey, at least he's been honest with his feelings and intentions from the start. He's not throwing himself at other girls. I'm his only target."

"And you share his feelings?"

"In terms of percentage from zero to a hundred, zero being no feeling and a hundred being in love...When it comes to Bowser, I have a 50% affection level. He had 70% before the smack. And when it comes to Roy, it's about 70%...Maybe 80% on a good day."

"Really? That high?"

"That's crush level. I did say he was slowly winning me over."

"Are you really going to go through with it? The boy's courtship I mean."

"At this rate..."

I stand up and retrieve my shell.

"At this rate, he's got a better shot than his old man."

That makes her snicker and I look at her funny.

"What's with the giggles?"

"You think Bowser's old? The man is old thirty-three."

I drop my shell in shock.

"For real? He's only three years older than me?"

"You didn't know?"

"No. I never asked him. But I figured he was older due to the information Iggy told me. How Koopas of their line age slowly. I assumed based on his young looks that his age was higher."

She nods.

"That's only partially true. Yes, they age slowly in their childhood. But when they hit those hormonal teen years, boy, they sprout faster than weeds. Then it slows back down to a crawl when they hit adulthood. It's happening to all of them, except Lemmy. The little boy just hasn't hit that right time yet."

I mime my mind exploding.

"You are easily amazed, aren't you?"

"Maybe. But I like to look at it as being enthusiastic about learning."

"That...That's cute."

I snicker and put my shell on.

"Well...Enough time should've pasted. Is it safe to leave without expecting others to freak out?"

She gets up and onto her broom.

"Yep. You're fine."

"Mind being a guide and take me to the kids?"

"Sure."

I go to open the door but don't.

"Human?"

"...Promise me, you'll say nothing about any of this."

"Do you really need me to make a promise?"

"It...It'll help reassure me if I hear verbal confirmation."

She pauses before whacking the top of my head with her wand.

"Ow!"

"I promise, you silly girl. Now open the door."

I guess trading a nasty hideous bruised face for a bump on the head isn't such a bad deal. This was good. In her own way, Kammy was like a mom I could talk to. I doubt she sees me as anything more than a goofy human, but a girl can dream. I just hope she's a woman of her word and keeps this secret.

[Meanwhile: In the castle's lounge area]

The doors fly open and the Koopa children run out. Fleeing for freedom. The great King rubs his face as he exits. The rehearsal was...Let's just say it was far from realistic, especially on Kamek's end. He swears all it takes to turn the ever professional wizard into a sassy dandy is a gown of lace and frills.

"Are you alright, my lord?"

"Just a slight pang. I'm fine. Uh...Kamek?"

"Yes?"

"You're still wearing the wig."

"Oh? *nervous laugh* I'm just going to return this to the prop room."

Kamek zooms away embarrassed and Bowser rolls his eyes while leaving. He's had enough of the staged craziness. Now it was time to deal with real seriousness. All that was needed was for him...

"Mama!"

...To find her.

"Hey there, sweetie."

Following the voices and rounding a corner, there he finds them. Thank god there is no sign of his idiocy on her. The last thing he needs is a huge mark that ruins her face and makes others question. Jr. is in her arms as usual, Kammy is taking her leave from the hall, the Koopalings flock around her, and he stood like a child peeking around a corner with not a single thought in his head of how to approach her.

"You gonna stand there like a creep or say hi?"

Well, that helps and proves he's still on her bad-side. She didn't even need to look in his direction to know he was there. Even the kids pick up on the vibes from her, as some back away ever so slightly.

"Heh...Guess you caught me."

"Nope. I caught this one."

She holds up Jr. and the boy giggles. Okay, she's not going to be hostel while the kids are around. That'll be his one saving grace. But how can he keep her like this if he were to be alone with her?

"Miss Lynn...Can we do something fun?"

"Yeah! Rehearsal is boring!"

"Oh? And what do you cuties suggest?"

"I've got a list if ya really wanna know, sugar~."

Morton shoves Roy and for a second he thought the boy was able to read his mind. Roy is being bolder. Making his wants known. And the part the bothered him most was that she seemed to allow this with no issue. Why? Was she indulging the boy out of spite? To make him feel bad for his attention to Peach? No, that can't be right. Still, she's not to his knowledge told Roy to cease with his advances. Could that mean she did see him as a possibility? Was Bowser really in a romantic rivalry with his son?

"It depends on the list, tough guy. And Morton, be nice. You know Roy likes to tease."

"Ya know ya like it, sweetheart~."

"Maybe I do. What are you going to do about it?"

Roy produces a chuckle that is anything but subtle in his intentions and Bowser pales in the realization. He really was in a romantic rivalry with one of his own children. Nope! Time to nip it in the bud now!

"Spit-...Lynsie?"

His voice held a tremble he hoped wasn't too noticeable. She looks at him lazily and he gulps.

"May I have a word with you?"

"You just said seven, how many more do you have to say?"

Her remarks were cutting him down with not much effort. She held the power in this situation of theirs and they both knew it too. Yet he had to try. He needed to do this. He just had to make the right choices.

"Quite a few."

That made her cock her eyes.

"Is this of importance?"

The children watch like this is a volleyball match. Each word spoken was a ball hit to the other side of the court. This next shot would determine the winner.

"It's a matter of life or death."

Bowser power spikes the ball. Lynsie is unfazed yet puts Jr. down.

"Very well then."

Bowser for the win!

"Be right back, sweeties."

She strolls over to him and he forgets how to move for a moment.

"Shall we?"

It may have just been him, but even her compliance made him nervous. He extended his hand but she eyed him funny and he felt stupid for thinking that would work. So he walked off and she followed. It gave it some distance before thinking of where to have this chat. No way would she agree to his room. Think man. Where is a safe room that she'll feel comfortable in and he'll be sure that no one can hear them? Hmmm...Maybe the treasure room?

"You have no idea where you're going, do you?"

He flinches and to his surprise she snickers.

"Just pick a room. It doesn't matter which."

Well, that's helpful. A random room then. He picks a door and they end up at Kamek's library.

"Nice choice. I've been meaning to come here."

"Y-You have?"

"Jr. needs new books to study."

At least she's teaching him properly and updating his studies.

"So...About those words you have to say to me that are a matter of life and death?"

Bowser runs a hand through his hair and composes himself.

"Look...About last night..."

"Yes?"

"I'm...I'm glad you're not hurt."

She leaned against a wall and folded her arms.

"The only reason you don't see the damage is that I had Kammy heal me. Believe me, it was bad."

That made his heart sink.

"I had no right to do that. I wasn't myself."

She gave him a weak glace before looking elsewhere, making him frown.

"I know nothing I say can take back what happened. Knowing I hurt you...It's been eating at me since the moment I saw you on the ground."

Her gaze was cast downward now in thought. He cautiously stepped closer a little bit.

"Lynsie...I will do anything to make amends with you. I don't want to lose you."

"Anything?"

He meant his words. Even if he might live to regret it, he meant them. She got off the wall and got right in his face. Her eyes staring into his soul and filling him with dread.

"I want you to look me in the eyes the same way I am with you and tell me you're sorry."

He blinks in shock a few times before grabbing her face and pressing his forehead against hers. Wanting her close and maintaining slightly awkward eye contact.

"How do I say the words 'I am sorry' when I know that words are not enough? And how can I ask you to forgive me when I know I can't forgive myself? If you need me to say those words, then I shall say them. I swear to you, I am sorry. If I could go back to that moment, I'd take the hit for you. Because only a freaking moron like me deserves to be smacked. Everything you said, it was all true. I'm an idiot. I am wasting time on someone that will never appreciate it. You are my spitfire. You're who I want. Not her. So please..."

His eyes begin to sparkle, water slowly pooling in them.

"Please forgive me. I know I don't deserve forgiveness and I don't expect you to forgive me immediately. I'll give you the time, all the time in the world and forever if needed, and I hope that one day you'll find it in your heart to see my sorrow. When you came into my life, you filled it with a sense love, and if you leave me there will be an emptiness in my heart that will never be filled. I hate myself because I hurt the most amazing woman I've ever known! If you can, please, forgive me. I really need you in my life."

By now even her eyes were filling with tears.

"My King..."

"I have more issues then I could possibly count. And on my worst days, I'll go from happy to sad in seconds. I won't always like myself, and sometimes I'll even assume you don't like me either. I'll push you away and I might even drive you insane. Yet I promise you this, nobody could ever even think about loving you as much as I do. But those are just words. And words are meaningless when the pain I'm trying to heal was physical. There is much I need to do before I can even dream of knowing your embrace again. So with a bruised heart, a deflated ego, a sad soul, and a head hung low...I apologize to you, Lynsie. My little spitfire."

She was silent and he was content to remain like this so long as time allowed. At least let this moment last, he prayed. But then she moved, yet not away. His eyes widen in surprise when he felt those arms of hers wrap loosely around his neck.

"Bowser...To say one is sorry means you leave yourself open, to all manner of things are possible. Sorry is a question that begs forgiveness, because the metronome of a good heart won't settle until things are set right and true. Sorry doesn't take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It's an offering. A gift. And it's one that I accept."

There it was. That caring look he had come to know her for having. He had worried he would never see that expression again. His lands left her cheeks and embraced her to him as gently as he could.

"I love you."

"I know."

"Can you ever love someone like me?"

"Bowser...To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless."

"...Is that a yes?"

"Baby steps. You have a long way to go before I say those words."

"So it's a maybe...Fair enough."

She giggles and pats the back of his head.

"You're a dork, you know that?"

"And you like me for it."

"I do. So come along, King dork. Before the kids think something major went down and go nuts. Honestly, saying it's a matter of life and death."

"Not my best choice of words, but can you blame me? It was the best I could come up with at the moment. Would you have listened to me otherwise?"

"Maybe. Depended on how you would've said it."

She finally pulls out of his hold and he inhales that lingering scent of hers before she's far enough to miss. He watches as she heads out and it takes him a moment to follow. This was good. This was progress. The bridge wasn't burned down but in need of a few repairs. Still, it's not like it wouldn't come under fire again. If he can't deal with the Roy issue, then there's no guarantee the boy wouldn't cut the ropes while he was over the abyss. Only hard part is, as a supportive parent, he doesn't want to crush the boy. But really, how else is this going to end? One of them will have the girl. Which one is the real question?

[Meanwhile: Soda Jungle village]

Dunk & Shoot had left the party. They mentioned something about catching a ride in a Tea Cup or Sweet Stuff, but that made little sense to the Mario Brothers. They had other things on their minds. Like for one, meeting up with an impatient rabbit thief for further information in bushes like a creep.

"*psst* Nabbit? You-a here?"

"You-a look like a dork whispering into a bush."

Nabbit pokes his head out.

"This bush has what you want. So don't go thinking you're too good to talk to some shrubbery."

Mario rolls his eyes and Luigi passes along some coin. Nabbit takes the offering and hands him a bag.

"Pleasure doing business with you."

Nabbit ducks back into the bush and the whole plant scurries away into the jungle.

"So? What's in the bag?"

Luigi digs around in it.

"We've got a lot of healing items. Few attack boosters and revives. And...A note?"

Mario takes it from his brother's hand.

"Don't forget to wear the badges."

"Oh right! He gave us these to weaken Hooktail. I almost forgot about them."

Luigi reaches into his pocket and pulls out two badges. Mario takes one and puts it on, Luigi does the same with the other.

"There's more on the back...Castle Six's boss is Golden Diva."

"That's it?"

"That's it. Bunny boy didn't add anything else to it. Does he expect us to know what a Golden Diva is?"

"We could question people along the way?"

"...Are you-a suggesting that or asking?"

"Both?"

Mario just sighs.

"Let's just get this over with. We have a long walk to the castle."

Mario takes a few steps but stops. Each step sounding like a frog croaks. Luigi snickers to himself.

"Oh, I'm-a so taking this off."

"Come on, bro. It's not that bad."

Luigi dances around and makes cricket chirps with each move.

"See?"

Damn his goofiness. Even when he knows better to be cool in public, sometimes it's so easy to bro out.

"You call those moves? Where's the guy that bust moves so fly that they won the Music Keys back from Waluigi...Before Bowser took them and I had to wipe the floor with his shell."

Luigi smiles and slings the bag over his shoulder.

"Dance contest till we get there?"

"You-a are so on, bro. But don't-a think I'm-a gonna be easy to beat."

"Same here, Mario. Just be sure to know the only rule"

"What's that?"

Luigi makes the first move and takes the lead.

"Dance like nobody's watching!"

Mario smiles and shakes his head. For all his ego, Luigi is able to worm his innocence in sometimes. It's good for Mario. To be brought back down to a normal level of humble. Though even if now in a playful state, Mario is still Mario. And Mario doesn't like to lose...Especially to his brother. So yeah, he is not going to go easy on Luigi. Not break his legs crazy, but still pretty intense. Still...It's nice to be like this. To just be with his brother and forget the world for a little bit. It made him wonder...Why can't it always be like this?

Luigi, on the other hand, saw this as a means of reversing time on his brother. Make him do something that makes him relive the good old days. Back when they were told that all their fears would shrink when they got older, but now are insecure and care what people think more than how they feel. Back when they used to play pretend and give each other different names. Back when they would build a rocket ship and then they'd fly it far away. Back when they used to dream of outer space. Back when their momma sang them to sleep. Those were the days. Back when they'd throw stones from a creek that they'd used to roam and make little and tree-house homes. Back to a time when nothing really mattered. How he longed for those days again. Before the hero stuff. These moments where the time seemed to stop and they were just brothers again...These were the moments Luigi cherished the most.

As the brothers bust moves into the jungle's heart, they were far from unnoticed. A Paragoomba was watching them from the treetops. Pulling a walkie-talkie from his satchel, he syncs up with the correct signal line of communication.

"PG Scout #526 calling Base Commander. Come in base command...The brothers mustache are headed toward Castle Five. I repeat...The brothers mustache are headed toward Castle Five. Over."

There's a buzz on the other end before a click is made.

"PG Scout #526, this is Base Commando #864. We have received your report. Proceed with following the targets from a safe distance. Over."

"Any further order, sir? Over."

"If possible, remain out of sight and alert the castle. Backup support should be on the way there, if not, are already there in waiting. Over."

"Rodger that. Over."

"Any sightings of the purple rabbit? Over."

"Negative, sir. No signs currently of Nabbit in the area. Over."

"Understood. Anything further to report? Over."

"No, sir. Over."

"Understood. Base Commando #864, ending communication. Over."

"Roger that. PG Scout #526, ending the call and returning to duty. Over."

The line goes back to dead buzzing and the Paragoomba puts the walkie-talkie back in his bag before taking off into the sky. Goomba patrol are loyal to the Koopa Crown and act as Bowser's spy network f sorts. For who would ever suspect a Goomba of being a threat? Of course, you'd let your guard down. What can they possibly do? They have no arms or legs! They are just heads with feet. No threat what so ever. And that's why they work so perfectly as scouts. No one takes them seriously until it's too late.

* * *

 _Hello all you reading lovelies, tis I, the humble author. Sorry for the delay on this chapter. Family life and health got a bit hard recently. But I'm just happy to have this posted today. Wanna know why? Because today is my four year wedding anniversary! *giddy screams* I'm all happy and junk. But, yeah, thanks for the wait. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the many to come. So till next time, stay awesome all you wonderful lovelies. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hubby to smother with love. Laters!_

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	24. Afternoon four: What is even happening

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Not long after that little "I'm sorry" moment between Bowser and I did something else occur. Seems as though in his excitement to get his ball back, little Lemmy bounced his ball a bit too much and it went out of control before smacking Wendy in the back of her head. As if that wasn't bad enough, it hit her with enough force to slam her to the floor and busted her snout, making it bleed. By the time we got to see the aftermath, Morton and Roy are holding her back while poor Lemmy is bawling because she apparently popped his ball so Larry and Ludwig are trying to calm him down while Iggy is acting like a negotiator. Jr., on the other hand, is just watching everything on the sidelines like an unhelpful spectator. You can almost picture him standing there with a tub of popcorn in his hand. Cute, but not cool.

Bowser, with his booming authority, stops the indecent from escalating any further than it could get. While I assess the situation and do my best to do damage control. Luckily, Wendy's nose isn't broken as she so heavily implied and would have liked us to believe. Bowser chooses to take care of Lemmy and I tend to Wendy. Honestly, though he got the better end of this. Dealing with an emotional teenage girl is like a category eight or nine storm. Your only hope is that you can survive when it gets super bad.

"Is it bad? It feels really bad. Oooh...Don't tell me! I don't want to know!"

"Wendy, dear, stop fussing. I can't clean you up if you keep flailing like a frightened bird."

I rub her nose with my extra bit of shirt.

"Lemmy, calm down. I'll fix your ball. I get you as many as you want. Just please, stop crying."

Lemmy tries to settle down for Bowser. All be it, very slowly and still with whimpers.

"Is it broken?"

"No, it's not broken. At best, a minor boo-boo."

"Minor?! You call this minor?! I'm hideous!"

"You're over exaggerating."

"There's not enough makeup in the galaxy to fix this!"

"Oh please. You have a 99% chance of not even forming a bruise."

"Oh my god! I'll never show my face in public again!"

"Stop. Just, stop."

"But..."

"No. I get you got hurt, but do try to suck it up. Just because you're a teenage girl, it doesn't mean you have to make a drama like this out of a simple accident. No one respects a crybaby."

Wendy and a few others look at me funny for that. But it's never easy to give someone a bit of tough love. I tilt her head back a little.

"Breathe out of your mouth for now."

"Okay...When can I put my head down?"

"When I get some tissue to plug your nose with."

"What?!"

"Do you want to be a fountain or look silly for a little bit? Your choice."

Wendy reluctantly gives in to my care and I try to guide her to a bathroom to clean her up.

"We'll be back, boys."

"Okay. We'll be here...maybe."

Bowser is focused on Lemmy, but that doesn't mean the others are. Larry, Iggy, and Ludwig stay with Bowser to get Lemmy back to being his former happy self. While Morton, Roy, and Jr. come along with us girls.

"Boys...Do me a small favor and look for some tissue."

They rush ahead of us and begin scouting rooms.

"...You've done this before, haven't you?"

Wendy breaks the silence as we walk. I kinda feel weird about this. Like these weird instincts are turning on. Is this what parenting feels like? So...Weird.

"I have. If it makes you feel better, I will admit to busting my nose into doors quite a few times in my life. It hurt, yes. But really, I felt more embarrassed then pain when those moments happened."

"Really? How come?"

"Because I'm the dork that opened said doors that I then turned my face into."

She tries to hold in the giggles.

"Can I ask...What's the worst time you ever were hurt?"

"By accident?"

"Yeah."

"I was coming down the stairs of my parents home and slipped backward. I went a little under halfway down those stairs on my butt and my left foot got jammed in the doorway of the stairwell. That incident resulted in me being unable to lay flat on my back or walk correctly for about two months."

Wendy cringes.

"Ouchies...And the time you were hurt that wasn't an accident?"

I don't respond.

"Lynn?"

"...You don't want to know the answer to that one."

She averts her eyes from me from awkwardness. I don't want to share such information with the kids. They are tough little buggers, but they shouldn't know of the really bad stuff. Not yet...They're not ready. Suddenly Morton runs up to me with a wrapped roll in his mitts.

"Yes, dear?"

"Morton couldn't find any tissues. But Morton did find toilet paper."

"That'll work."

He unwraps the roll before handing it to me. I rip off a few squares and fold them int a thicker sheet. Then I roll the sheet up and rip it in half before putting a part in each of Wendy's hands.

"What do I do with these?"

"These go up your nose."

"Really?!"

"It'll plug your nose to stop the bleeding and let you put your head back down."

She looks at all of us and is unsure. On the one hand, having her head up for the next hour or so really sucks. But on the other hand, the boys are most likely going to mock her for her goofy looking stuffed nose. So she looks over at me, reading my face for what she should do. I guess my words from earlier sunk in for the most part. She puts on a tough face and twists the tissue into her nostrils.

"*stuffy* So...How do I look?"

I give her a thumbs up. She looks over to the boys. Jr. gives her two thumbs up. Morton grins happily. Roy...He's one slip up away from busting his gut in the loudest of ways. I try to give a quiet warning growl to make him stop before it he lets loose. Thankfully it works. Though I don't know how much Wendy really believes us in our good gestures. Yet besides helping her, I do need to help Lemmy too.

"Wendy...Did you really pop Lemmy's ball?"

She folds her arms.

"Maybe."

Now my hands are on my hips.

"Young lady, you do know you have to apologize to him."

"What?!"

She isn't happy but neither am I.

"Why should I apologize?! He hurt me!"

"Not intentionally. Balls bounce uncontrollably. Do you really believe he meant to hurt you?"

"...No."

"That's right. So when we go back there, you're going to say you're sorry."

"Then...I want him to apologize to me!"

I huff loudly through my nose. I think I'm picking up traits from Bowser.

"Jr...You saw everything, yes?"

Jr. nods his head.

"Yep. I sure did, Mama."

"Did at any point in this kerfuffle had Lemmy attempted to apologize?"

"Yes. He did, Mama. He said it the moment she hit the floor."

"And what happened after that?"

"She got mad and yelled. Then popped the ball with her nails."

My patience for this behavior is growing very thin and my sneer shows it. But Wendy isn't backing down...yet.

"I...I don't remember that happening."

"Morton? Roy? Can you corroborate Jr.'s eyewitness testimony?"

"Morton saw the whole thing! Lemmy tried to say sorry, but Wendy was too mad and popped the ball."

"That's how I remember it too, sugar. Wendy flew off the handle and went ballistic. Probably too ticked off to hear Lemmy. Though, the runt was a bit weak-voiced in fear. Could barely hear him myself."

"Hey! I am not on trial!"

"Like shell you're not..."

Time to play judge.

"Wendy O. Koopa. You are charged with aggravated assault on Lemmy's ball. How do you plea after hearing the testimony of three witnesses?"

"Not guilty!"

"I hear your plea and throw it out."

"What?!"

"As judge, jury, and executioner, I find you guilty. And with that, I sentence you to apologize to your brother or suffer the punishment of two months without any sweets or the use of beauty supplies."

She pales and her jaw drops.

"Y-You can't do that!"

"I can and I shall."

"B-But you're not the boss of me! You can only tell Jr. what to do."

"I am tasked with taking care of all of you, not just the Prince."

"You can't do this! You can't! You're not my real mommy!"

I feel something hurt somewhere inside, but choose to ignore it.

"I know I'm not. But that's why I can do it. And you know what else?"

I get in her face and she backs up.

"The fact that I'm not should make you all the more frightened by my power in your life. I'm not your mother. I never will be. And yet I have more say than whoever she was. So let that sink in for a moment. Because I am here. I care about you. And if I say you have to do something, you best do it for you are lucky enough for someone to give up part of their life to make sure you are doing right in yours. Now you are going to march back there with us, give Lemmy a hug, and say sorry for busting his ball. Have I made myself clear, young lady?"

That did it. The once tough girl of the Koopalings submits with her head held low.

"Yes, mommy."

The hurt I felt before starts to fade. I smile softly and take her into my arms, much to her surprise.

"You're a good girl, Wendy. But you need to control your temper. I can help you, only if you let me."

She holds onto me and I do my best to hold her up. Sorry Jr., this time my arms are holding someone else. Poor girl. I think I scared her. This thought has me look at the boys and my heart sinks. The looks they are giving me...Roy looks off-put. Morton looks worried. And Jr. looks as though he's about to cry.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be sad or mad at me. I...I said things that were bad. Things I should never say."

I didn't mean to open that forbidden 'mother' jar. In a single moment, I became the wicked step-mother like in fairy tales. I feel disgusted with myself. I feel like dirt. I feel...A hand tugging my shirt? Jr.?

"S-Sweetie?"

"You are our mama, Mama."

Jr. hugs my waist and now I'm about to cry. Fight it! Do not cry!

"You're not a Koopa and you're not the lady that laid our eggs. But you're more of a mother than she ever was."

Morton comes over and hugs me along with Jr.

"Morton?"

"The way I see it, sugar, you can be our 'mom' if ya want...So long as you call me daddy~."

Roy winks as he approaches and I nearly drop Wendy in shock. No one else found him to be funny.

"*loud snickers* Oh my god, Roy!"

"Too much?"

"Yes!"

Jr., Morton, and Wendy shout. Yet he merely rolls his eyes and sneaks in a nuzzling kiss to my cheek.

"We love ya, sugar. And we know ya love us too. You're just speaking the truth and it makes us remember that there was someone else that was supposed to be this nice in our lives. We don't like thinkin' about her all that much."

"I can imagine. I didn't mean to sound like I was replacing her, because I can never do that. I only meant that I am here for you guys. I care about you all so much. Heck, I hit Peach for bad mouthing you. All I want is to make sure you all are happy. And sometimes, making sure all of you are happy means I have to be the bad-girl and make you do things you don't want to do. You can be mad about it, that's fine. I don't like being told what to do either. But I'm only telling you what to do because I don't want you to do something foolish. You understand, don't you Wendy? You know you want to apologize to Lemmy. I bet he'll say sorry too if you say it. So what do you?"

Wendy shifts in my arms and nods her head.

"I will."

"And will you get him a new ball?"

"...Yes."

"That's my girl. Everyone ready to go back?"

They nod as I lead this little pack back to Bowser and the others.

"Hey, sugar...Mind if a bug ya a sec?"

"What's up?"

"What did the old man have to say that was so dang important?"

Uh...Quick! Think of a cover story!

"Promise not to get all worried?"

"Sure."

"Well...Word has gotten around that Mario and Luigi had beaten Castle Four. He wasn't sure the rumor was true until today. The brothers are reaching Castle Five or have already gotten there by now. That is what he wanted to tell me."

Yes! Good job brain! That is both believable and true. You're so clever.

"Really? They've gotten that far already?"

"Yep. I believe it's why the King has decided to rush this marital party of sorts."

"Makes sense. King daddy has always been one to rush when he thinks we're losing time."

"Figures."

"Speaking of Papa...Do you think he managed to calm Lemmy down?"

"I hope so."

Things on Bowser's end were at least going smoother than had he ended up stuck helping Wendy, or so he believed. It took much time and effort into talking Lemmy down from his shrill morning of his ball. Jokes were told, funny faces made, promises of better things sworn, the whole shebang. Honestly, it was quite the show if anyone other than the family saw it.

"Lemmy? How do you feel now?"

Still, the young boy sniffled but gave his family a weak smile.

"Better."

"Is there anything else we can do for you, dear brother?"

Lemmy shakes his head.

"N-No. I'll be okay."

"Do you want me to fix this one for you? I can make it better. Unbreakable even."

Lemmy again shakes his head.

"Thanks. But no. You can if you want to, Iggy. But this one is gone. We had our fun times and that's what matters."

Lemmy pats the deflated remains.

"Good ball. Sleep now."

Bowser leans over to Iggy.

"You're still going to make that into an unbreakable ball, right."

"Oh, absolutely."

"Good."

"Oh! Father, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Yes, Ludwig?"

"What was it that you and the fair maiden spoke about?"

"Uh..."

Think King dork!

"I...um...I had...informed her that...the...Mario Brothers...were...uh...reaching Castle Five. Yes! The Mario Brothers have passed the four starting castles and are closing in on the fifth. I told her to be ready and to have a place she can hide while we take care of those two mustached losers."

"I'm sorry..."

Uh oh.

"What did you just say?"

Bowser turns around to face me and the others.

"Uh..."

"Are you for real? You expect me to hide when those chumps kick in our front door and demand our meal ticket back? Yeah, no. No freaking way that is happening."

"Lynsie..."

I hold up my free hand to make him stop.

"First things first..."

I put Wendy down and usher her to Lemmy.

"Go on dear. You know what to do."

Wendy approaches Lemmy who recoils a little.

"Lemmy..."

"Yeah?"

She hugs her younger brother and he hugs her back.

"I'm sorry, Lemmy."

"I'm sorry too, Wendy. I didn't mean to hit you."

"I know. I overreacted. I promise, later today, I'll take you out for ice cream and I'll get you any ball you want. Price doesn't matter."

"...Really?"

"Yes."

"...Okay."

Now that is much better. Siblings getting along. Yet now that the kid portion of parenting is over, I now have to deal with adult matters. Such as a guy who thinks I'm going to not defend our home from plumbers. Wow...Weirdest thing I've never thought I'd say yet.

"So what's this about me hiding while you all fight?"

Bowser puts on his tough King demeanor.

"You've never fought them before. You don't know what they can do. You're better off not mixing into things if and when they show up."

I fold my arms and glare.

"You have never seen me really fight before. You have no idea what I'm capable of. You should know better than to think I can't hold my own, especially against dudes."

Bowser narrows his eyes.

"Woman, I said you are not getting involved and that's final."

"And I say, good luck trying to stop me."

We stare daggers at each other. Sparks flying. No one wanting to back down.

"Mama! Papa! No fighting!"

Jr. gets between us in defense.

"No more fighting. Family doesn't fight family."

The boy makes a point. We should be saving this sort of spirit for our enemies and not aim it at each other. Yet I'm not giving into Bowser's dumb idea of hiding away when trouble starts. I get that he's just looking out for me. He's showing he cares. But I have lived this life fighting back those that seek my harm. I do not run. I do not hide. I confront the problem. And if I can't convince it to go away, I make it go away. I do not cower. But I do compromise.

"My King...How about we make a deal?"

"I'm listening."

"I will agree to not fight them, if...I am the one to guard the Princess upon their arrival."

"Why?"

"You normally keep her close to you when they fight you, correct? So they reach her easily when you lose. And before you can recover, they are already long gone. This way, she'll be kept away and if you are in the unlikeliest of moments beaten, you'll have time to get them as they search for her location. Does that sound like a reasonable plan to you?"

Bowser ponders this.

"I suppose that does sound like a better option than having her in the very next room. And it would keep you busy in a non-fighting way...*mumbles* I hope...*normal* I guess I can agree with this idea."

"Then we have a deal."

I offer my hand with a smirk and he gives me a wary look before grasping my smaller appendage.

"Yo! So are we all good now? No one else wanna bust out fightin' or anythin'?"

Roy's question is met with silence and the random shrug here or there.

"So, Papa, what do we do about the problem?"

"What problem?"

"I believe he's asking about the Mario Brothers."

"Oh, that! It's fine. Thanks to Kamek, those two should be running into some interference any moment now."

"Interference? More hired help?"

"Believe me, if those two HELP, I'll make them royalty when I rule the Mushroom Kingdom."

I am confused for a moment before it hits me.

"No way...He hired them?"

"I'm afraid so."

I raise my hands in surrender.

"Nope. Not dealing with them. Wario is one thing, but Waluigi...I get enough flirt action here. You want me to hide, that man is enough to make me leave."

The kids do a double take and Roy's head nearly snaps from the force when hearing that.

"Sugar say what?"

Bowser runs his hand through his hair.

"I know. I can't stand that lanky purple poser. I can't believe he really tried to kiss you at Peach's party."

Roy loses his mind.

"WHAT?!"

I merely shrug.

"A bet's a bet. He won fair and square. Heh...But thanks to you, my King, I didn't have to pay up. I still owe Wario though. I don't like to welsh on bets."

"I'M GONNA #%*&$ MURDER THAT #%*&$!"

"Roy! Swear jar!"

[Meanwhile: Deep in Soda Jungle]

The so-called "help" was walking towards what can only be described as nowhere looking for their sworn nemeses on a trail they believe the heroes will be travailing on. Yep. Truly only the best men were hired for such an important job like this.

"This has to be our easiest gig yet."

"I know, right? We follow the path from-a the castle to the village. Do this till we find them. Then kick some plumber butt. The easiest coin we've ever made."

"Yeah. And if we do a great job, it'll earn us some major points with them."

"Them?"

"You-a know..."

Wario sighs and rubs his face.

"Are you-a still hung up on her?"

"I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about her since the party."

"I would've thought that punch snapped you-a out of it. The girl is with flame breath. End of story."

"True...For now."

Wario looks at Waluigi's sinister grin. This can't be good.

"Oh no..."

"What?"

"I know that look. Nothing good happens when you-a get that look. So what stupid idea is rattling around in that head of yours?"

"*chuckles* Nothing. Nothing at all."

"That. That right there. I don't-a trust that. So start yapping or you'll end up walking this mile alone."

Waluigi takes off his hat and wipes his forehead with his sleeve.

"She still owes you-a coin from-a making bets at the party, right?"

Wario eyes him.

"Yeah?"

Waluigi puts his hat back on.

"What say you-a let me collect your coin from-a her?"

"And why would I let you-a do that?"

"Because I can get it faster for you-a and it'll let me schmooze a bit more with her."

"You-a think that's a reason enough for me to trust you-a with getting my money?"

For Wario, the girl and what she does is none of his business. At best, the big man in yellow saw her as a maybe lackey if he ever needed a woman to pull a job with. No way he'd trust that scheming Syrup. Never again...even if she was super attractive, what with all that treasure the woman has hidden away. But Waluigi is another thing. While Wario and Waluigi sometimes bicker, their relationship overall seems to be a positive one, with them sharing good chemistry and trust in bad situations. Though Waluigi can be easily distracted when he thinks he can get away with something quickly whereas Wario is locked onto his task unless something of greater importance calls. Right now, coin and fighting were on Wario's mind. So this plan of Waluigi's wasn't completely out of the question, but it did put a possible threat to his potential coin. What if Waluigi forgets the coin because he's paying too much attention to the dame in a shell? Waluigi would have to say something good to be allowed such a task.

"I'll pay you-a double."

"Deal!"

That'll work.

"Now talk. What sort of super secret thing are you-a gonna do besides schmooze? Because I've seen you-a schmooze and no girl ever was impressed enough to give you-a her number. Smack you, yes. But nothing else."

"Hey, I have a trump card."

"Like what?"

"You-a were there. You-a saw how she looked when she saw me dance."

Waluigi busts a move ending is a flirtatious pose.

"I'm going to charm that woman like no ever has."

Wario pretends to gag and Waluigi sneers.

"You're just jealous."

"Right...I'm jealous that you-a got a girlfriend that is currently the girl of our employer. You-a nailed it, buddy."

Waluigi scoff as Wario chuckles to himself. This type of witty banter goes on for quite some time.

"Man, we've been walking forever. Where are these mooks?"

"It's been ten minutes."

"Whaaaa?"

Wario shakes his head.

"You're hopeless sometimes, I swear."

"But that little Paragoomba said they were headed this way. Why is it taking so long?"

"Will you-a pipe down! All you-a do is run your mouth. It's no wonder you're still single. You-a talk more than a woman."

"*gasp* You-a take that back."

"Nope."

"Like you're one to talk. I don't-a see a girl on your arm, Mr. Bigmouth."

Wario stretches and puts his arms behind his head in a relaxed way.

"I don't-a need to show off any gal of mine."

"Yeah, because you-a have none."

"That, my friend, is where you-a are super wrong."

Waluigi rubs his nose with his thumb.

"Oh yeah? Prove it. Name one girl that would WILLINGLY go out with you-a and you-a didn't have to pay her to do so."

"Easy...Mona."

Waluigi's left eye twitches.

"Mona?"

"Yep."

"The one that works for you-a part-time?"

"That's the one."

"The high school girl?"

"Did I stutter at some point? Yes, Mona, the same girl you-a are talking about is the same one I am also talking about."

"...You're going to end up in jail."

"What? Why?"

"She's a high school student for crying out loud!"

"She's eighteen. I'm not stupid. Besides, the girl's got spunk. No one else has even chased me down and demanded a paycheck before."

"But still...The age difference?"

"Eight years ain't much. And what can I say really? I like a girl with moxie."

Waluigi had to agree with his buddy there. The wilder the girl, the more appealing they were. And judging by Wario's past crushes, his taste in women had evolved over the years. During one of Princess Peach's Birthday Bashes, Wario was starting to show having a crush on Peach and tried to one-up Mario by buying her a doll she wanted for her birthday before Mario could. Wario also had a golden statue of Peach that Mario stole back, but other than that, later interactions do not portray Peach as a love interest for Wario. Captain Syrup surpasses Mario as Wario's greatest nemesis, she measures up to him in terms of both wit and greed. Captain Syrup has called him "handsome" on a few occasions, although it is most likely sarcastic. Instead, Mona fills the role of a possible romance, with various material revealing that she harbors romantic feelings for her friend and employer, Wario, who is occasionally hinted to return the interest. Waluigi, on the other hand, comes up short in this category. Having only one romantic interest, Princess Daisy, although there is little evidence otherwise that confirms this relationship and Daisy, meanwhile, does not return Waluigi's affections. So he's not really all that experienced with strong women. After all, he did aim high to start with, going after the flower power Princess before seeking out this infatuation with Bowser's brawling beauty, the fair Lynsie.

So they continue on their way. The jungle is alive with sights and sounds that will boggle the mind. Flora and fauna have evolved in such odd yet unique ways. Para-Beetles, Heavy Para-Beetles, Piranha Plants, Piranha Creepers, Fire Piranha Plants, Banzai Bills, King Bills, Wigglers, Big Wigglers, Sumo Bros, Bramballs, Grrrols, Bulbers, Jellybeams, Stone-Eyes, Big Goombas, Big Koopa Troopas, Targeting Teds, Jungle Fuzzy, Fizzlit, Spiny, various Hammer Bros. and Mechakoopas all thriving in a land with Poison Water. This place is nuts!

However, some of these sounds of nature are starting to not make sense. Like, if they had to guess, it sounded like there was a dance-off with some frogs and crickets. But no way was that a thing. Was it?

"It's getting louder."

"Argh! My ears are gonna start bleeding soon."

"Wanna find those loud schmoes and flatten them?"

"And me without my motorcycle. Looks like it's your lucky day, smashy and bashy."

Wario kisses his knuckles and rushes ahead to pummel some noisy creatures with Waluigi close behind. They expected to trample over some puny critters. What they got was ramming head first into their reverse color schemes...The Mario Brothers.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!"

"Us? It's your fault we crashed. Running at us like crazy people."

"What are you-a two even doing out here? Shouldn't you-a be tripping little old ladies down some stairs and stealing their purses?"

Luigi gasps in horror.

"Whaaat? You-a guys don't-a really do that...Do you?"

Wario scoffs.

"Please. What do you-a chumps take us for?"

"We're bad guys. Not octogenarian incapacitaters. We have standards."

Mario rolls his eyes.

"Okay...Then what are you-a both really doing out here?"

At this the pair of rapscallions grin.

"Funny you-a should ask."

"We were going to beat up some crickets and frogs for being annoyingly loud."

"Oh! That was us. See? These badges make our steps sound like that."

Luigi does a little tap dance to make his point.

"Then this is a happy coincidence."

"Why?"

"Because it's why we're here."

"We're here because you're here."

"Kamek's been really keen on this 'stop the Mario Bros.' thing and he was kind enough to extend a chance to do you-a in as our gift to his boss in return for some major coin."

Luigi slumps.

"Go figure he'd hire these two."

Waluigi strikes a threatening pose and points at his enemies.

"That's right! Quake in fear you-a pathetic pipsqueaks. Tremble before our awesome might. For the time has come to meet your maker!"

"Buddy?"

"We shall squash you-a like the tiny bugs that you-a are and grind your remains into the dirt!"

"Hey!"

"What?"

"They walked right past you-a while you-a were talking to yourself."

Waluigi blinks a few times and does a doubletake to confirm they are indeed now behind them. This seems to set him off, causing him to go just a bit nutty. His face reddens, he bares his teeth, and he stomps his foot harshly into the ground. Wario knows better than to even move at this point. No need to become a blip on his buddy's search and destroy radar.

"Hey! Who do you-a think you-a are?!"

Mario doesn't bother to turn around but Luigi does.

"Who? Me?"

"Yes! You! Both of you! What? You-a think you're better than us?! You-a think you're so great that you-a can just walk off in the middle of someone's speech?! Is that it?!"

Luigi frowns, feeling guilty for doing something so rude. Mario on the other hand...

"Pipe down will you. Nobody wants to hear anything you-a have to say. Especially if you're able to lose to my goof of a brother."

"Mario, that's not very nice."

"Oh yeah? And what's he going to do about it?"

Waluigi is livid. Wario, who frankly wasn't doing much till this point, taps his friend's shoulder and presents him with a Bob-omb with a devious smirk.

"Why don't-a we show them what it means to disrespect us."

A wicked gleam sparkles in Waluigi's eyes and he takes the deadly explosive.

"This is why we're friends. We get each other."

Waluigi takes a runners position and jets off like a flash. Hearing a sudden whoosh, the Mario Brothers turn around just as Waluigi has an increase in speed and begins to circle them, creating thorny purple vines behind him which act as a thick wall. This wall blocks off the now dizzy duo and now it's Wario's turn. He takes aim of the wind and let's loose a nasty trail of toxic gas behind him. This has the brothers coughing and gagging for breath. All the while Waluigi, having moved out of fart range, has set himself up to chuck the Bob-omb into the center of the cloud.

"Think you're better than us? Think again!"

He hurls the Bob-omb dead center.

"Fire in the hole!"

The Bob-omb detonates and ignites the methane in Wario's fart, causing a massive explosion that none of them was prepared for. Everything is sent flying in all directions as the area is set in a stinky blaze. Wario is sent flying to the West, Luigi to the North, Waluigi to the East, and Mario to the South. Now the four are separated into the depths of the wild jungle. Two of them seek to hunt and harm the others. Two of them are making loud obnoxious and easily traceable sounds. Only skill and fate will determine how this will turn out. And it's not like this is going unseen either. The ever watching eyes in the sky that see all and report all.

"PG Scout #526 calling Base Commander. Come in base command. Over."

"PG Scout #526, this is Base Commando #728. What have you to report? Over."

"Sir, Wario and Waluigi have engaged the Mario Brothers. Over."

"What happened? Over."

"They dirty Bob-ombed them, sir. Part of Sector 5-23 is now on fire. Permission to call in the other Para in the area and perform an emergency water drop. Over."

"Permission granted. Put out that fire before it spreads. Over."

"Sir, what about the targets? Over."

"Put out the flames first. I'll handle the targets. Over."

"Roger that. PG Scout #526 ending communication. Over."

[Meanwhile: Koopa Castle station tower]

Base Commando #728 cuts the line and moves over to a different station before turning it on.

"Attention ground units of Sector 5, this is Base Commando #728. Be on the lookout for the Mario Brothers in your area. Last seen in area 23 fighting with Wario and Waluigi. Do what is necessary to aid those two in stopping the Brothers. Air units will not be able to supply aid for an unknown amount of time due to combating a fire in the vicinity. Remember the code we all vowed to serve when we joined the Koopa Troop. We do what we do because we have to. We fight for our rights for who else will. We are the line that stands between chaos and order. Down with the Toadstools! And praise Lord Bowser!"

Base Commando #728 ends the announcement and sighs. More paperwork is needed to be written up.

"Hey man, I heard you through the door. Everything okay?"

A small Spiny enters the command center.

"*sigh* Yeah. Just more junk happening."

"Didn't sound like junk."

Base Commando #728 tears a sheet of paper off his pad and drops it to the floor.

"Take that to Master Kamek. He'll want to be kept up to date on this."

"Okay..."

The Spiny takes the note and heads for the door.

"You know...You should take a break. You look tired."

Base Commando #728 just looks at them funny.

"I only just clocked in."

The Spiny blushes with embarrassment and rushes out of the room, leaving the tired looking Goomba.

"Rookies. Wait till things get really crazy around here. Then tell me I'm tired. *scoff*"

The flustered Spiny races around the castle as fast as its little legs will allow. Darting in and out of rooms in search of the wizard supreme. Lord knows what'll happen if Kamek doesn't get this in time.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	25. Afternoon four: Boy problems

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

Upon much yelling and trying to get Roy to calm down, I promise to explain things later if he can keep his cool. He only agrees to this if...we talk alone. So we made that deal and Bowser said it was cool that he'd tend to the kids for me while I put out this raging fire that is Roy. Hence here we are in Roy's room. Me sitting backward on a chair as Roy does the same with his shades off and maintaining endless eye contact. You know, something super chill like and not totally intense at all.

"So...You okay to talk to yet?"

He hasn't spoken since we got in here.

"I understand why you're ticked off. But if it's okay, I'm going to start now."

The silence...It's really unnerving.

"I get that you're mad. It was stupid to make bets. I probably would've been in better judgment had I not been on boosters. *sigh* I still owe Wario about 50 coins. I hate being in debt to someone."

He inhales through his nose deeply before exhaling just as deeply.

"...Why did ya make a bet to kiss another guy?"

I rub the bridge of my nose.

"That wasn't what happened."

"Then tell me what did."

"What happened was, Peach got this sentimental gift from Toadsworth that made her all girly with emotion and junk. Waluigi made a remark that his gift to Peach would beat that one and I called him out on it. So with the odds in my favor, when he proposed a little wager I figured I'd have this one in the bag. Little did anyone know was that Waluigi has the singing voice of an angel and the dance moves of a devil. He made that pink pain swoon and I knew I had been bested. He aimed for most likely a full lip contact kiss..."

Roy snarls loudly but with a low enough rumble to make objects in the room vibrate from the sound.

"But I aimed to move and only give him a cheek peck. Nothing more. Believe me, the guy was off-putting the moment we met. Hell, Wario was more charming by comparison and he didn't even try to flirt with me. But as the purple man attempted to collect his 'winnings', Bowser promptly punched him across the room. I stayed by Bowser's side the rest of the evening till we took Peach. That's all that happened and nothing more."

He just keeps staring at me. Those eyes of his...He always has them covered but they are sharper than his spikes. He's scanning me for any sign of falsehood. I'd be insulted if I didn't find this so impressive.

"...You really don't like him?"

"I almost ended up punching him myself."

"Why?"

"Peach was talking smack to Bowser. I was going to 'correct' her. He tried to stop me...I think you know how I get when someone tries to stop me when I'm not in a good mood."

A small chuckle sneaks out of him. I consider it a good sign.

"Had ya hit him, would ya have held back?"

"No. I have no reason to hold back on a stranger, let alone, a man that was creeping on me."

Slowly he gets off the chair and moves over to me. I remain seated till he motions me to get up. I do as he signals and once I do so, he immediately pulls me into his embrace.

"This is why I want to put ya on lockdown. If no one knows you're my girl, then anyone is gonna make a play for ya."

I frown and return his hold. I don't like making him worry like this. I don't like how he's metaphorically moving closer to me yet I'm stuck in place. I need to fix this. I need to think.

Roy nuzzles into her hair. So soft and sweet smelling. It was intoxicating to his senses. But just about everything about her made him feel that way. God he wanted more. He'd give anything for more of her.

{"I...I'm starting to see your point."

"Don't fight me on this and just...wait...Did you just agree with me?"

She rests her head on his shoulder and leans on him.

"I don't want other guys to look my way. I don't want that attention. I don't make friends easily, but dudes always seem to be more comfortable around me than girls. I've told you before, I don't know if I'll find love here with you or anyone else. But I can see myself being in love with you all. And...I'd rather put that out there than to leave things open for others to make up their own views. So if you want to..."

His grip tightens.

"Don't tease me like this, sugar."

"I'm not. You can say to anyone that I'm yours because, in a sense, I am. But you still have to get to know me and I you before those certain words are spoken."

"What words are ya talkin' about?"

"You know. Those three special ones."

"Oh! Ya mean those words. Huh...I never really thought 'Roy is awesome' was so special, but, I'll give ya the benefit of the doubt."

She giggles and he nuzzles into her neck.

"You're adorable, tough guy. You know that?"

"All the better to win ya over, sweetheart."

He was being cute and it made her want to tease him.

"Oh Roy, what big muscles you have."

He grins and softly kisses her neck.

"All the better to hold ya with, sugar."

She rubs the back of his head with one hand and traces the rim of his shell with the other, making him purr.

"My, what smooth scales you have."

He coos before smirking and nipping at her ear.

"All the better for ya to touch, babe."

His voice is getting deeper and sultry. Hitting tones that have her brain getting hazy the more she hears.

"And what beautiful eyes you have."

Slowly his hands glide down her sides and rest on her waist.

"And all they see is you, Lynsie. I only have eyes for you."

"Roy..."

"Shhhhhh..."

He trails kisses from her ear, along her cheek, and to the corner of her mouth.

"No more talk. Not right now."

"But..."

He locks eyes with her and any resolve to protest melts away.

"Share some sugar with me, sugar~."

"...Okay..."

He smiles coolly and she closes her eyes at the feel of his lips on her own. She doesn't know how he manages to do this to her. It's like he possesses this charm that has slowly captivated her over time. Each little gentle act, each moment of tender care, each sweet word he says, it all builds up the foundation to this place he's made in her heart. The love temple of Roy Koopa. Yeah, that's what he'd call it. Her affection slowly wavers and it gets his attention.

"Sugar? Ya okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Ya seem a little...distracted."

"Just thinking about stuff and junk."

"Such as?"

"Nothing important really. Sometimes my head just rambles on in thought and it takes ages to make it shut off. I think that's why I have sleeping problems."

"Anythin' I can do to help?"

She gives pause for a moment.

"Well?"

"I don't know."

Seeing a chance, Roy makes a bold decision.

"Would it help if we got a bit more...comfortable?"

She looks at him funny.

"What do you mean by that?"

He lets her go and tugs on her shell. She rolls her eyes but lets him pull it off.

"Okay, so you got me out of my shell. Now what? In case you forgot, I'm human so that didn't do much."

He tosses the shell aside.

"Sweetheart, if we're to get to know each other, then it's best we know one another on our purest level."

She continues to look at him confused until he begins to remove his shell. That makes her turn away, blushing bright and embarrassed much to his enjoyment.

"Hey now...Why so shy? Ya can't honestly say you've never seen any of us shell-less. Heck, ya share a bed with the squirt for cryin' out loud."

"That's completely different!"

"Oh? And why's that?"

"Because you're someone special!"

That made the tough guy blush. This flustered side of her was adorable and it seemed to make her more vulnerable. Perhaps he could use this to his advantage.

"Sugar...Look at me."

She shakes her head.

"Lynsie...Please?"

She flinches but slowly turns her head. If he though her face was red before, the moment her eyes laid their sights on his purple boxer shorts those cheeks of hers became as red as the lava this land is famous for. Her embarrassment only increases when he creeps up behind her and pulls her against him.

"Babe, I don't know if I can take much more of this. I try to hold back out of fairness to what we agreed on, but this...You're not helpin' by bein' so dang temptin'."

His hands feel along her sides and she shivers.

"Ya have no idea the things I'd like to do to ya if only you'd let me."

"Oh my god, Roy..."

"Give me a chance, sweetheart. If ya don't like it, I'll stop. I respect ya too much to ever dream about makin' ya uncomfortable. So what do ya say?"

"I...I should go check on..."

"Nah, the old man has things under control. This is our time. Our moment. Forget about everythin' else. Ya need a break before ya end up broken. Stay with me. Be with me. Can ya do that for me, Lynsie? Can ya be a little bad with me? Even if only for a moment?"

He kisses along her neck and shoulder pleadingly. She mentally fights the advances as best she can, but as strong as she is, she's only human, and nothing can resist the Koopa charm for long. Not even her.

"Ahhh...man...Screw it!"

She turns around in his hold and kisses him deeply much to his delighted surprise. He doesn't ask why; he just accepts this victory and enjoys the rewards of his efforts. The timidly sweet embrace doesn't stay that way for long. No, far from it. With her now giving in to his desire, he forgoes the holding back he had been doing. His hands are all over her. One went up and cut her hair tie off with his claws, preferring her to look more wild with her hair down. There it remained to clasp the back of her head and keep control over this now heated moment. The other hand was on her back, kneading into her and pressing her more against him in ways that had his tail wagging in bliss.

Her play in all this wasn't as innocent as he figured she'd act. Once her arms were around him it was like another girl was showering him with affection. Her hands explore his now shell-less form with ravenous want, sending pleasure throughout him in all the right ways as her fingers trace over him. One of those soft hands claws occasionally at his back, drawing out of him these primal moans that made him tremble. Her other hand rubs his chest plastron platelets, teasingly moving up and down to the point his mind was coming undone. And at the pinnacle of a particularity long groan of his, she deepens the kiss with a little tongue action that finally unravels him.

"*moan* Sugar...Mmmmmm...Let's...oooooh...Let's go to the bed~."

She pauses and the lusty gaze of her eyes has him biting his lip in excitement.

"Roy, sweetie~..."

"Yes, sweetheart~?"

"Are you alright?"

Her voice sounded different. No longer holding the heated tone that it had before.

"Huh?"

"Are you alright, Roy?"

"When I'm with you, always."

"Roy? Hello? Can you hear me?"

This has him very confused. The mood has suddenly changed. But it doesn't take long for him to realize why. All of this, all this wonderful love they have been experiencing...It was all in his head.}

"Roy? Sweetie, you're worrying me. Please, say something."

This is so freaky. It's like somebody turned off his power. One minute I'm talking to him, the next he's zoned out and very quiet.

"Roy? Roy please...*whimper*"

Suddenly, the life returns to his eyes and kisses my nose before pressing his forehead to my own.

"Shhh...It's okay, sugar. Everythin' is fine."

"Where did you go? I thought I lost you."

I don't mean to sound clingy or overly attached. But I care about this guy and he honestly scared me. I think he can tell this too based on how his expression looks guilty.

"I'm sorry. I got lost in a dream."

I give him a little nuzzle for comfort and he does the same back.

"Are ya mad at me?"

"No...I was just scared."

"Do...Do ya wanna go or somethin'?"

I look at him strongly and he flinches.

"O-Okay...*nervous gulp* Do ya wanna..."

"Stop. No more talk. Not right now."

He frowns but nods his head. So we remain like that. Just holding each other in silence for as long as needed. I don't feel like talking. I'm too confused to speak. I don't want to let him go. My feelings are conflicted. I do not know if I really love Roy. But in those moments when he just seemed to disconnect for some reason...I felt something new. And it terrifies me to the bone.

"...Lynsie?"

I don't say a word. I only increase my hold.

"Man...I really messed up bad huh? Ya won't talk to me. You're tremblin'. No...This doesn't feel right at all. *annoyed groan* Why do I suck so bad at this?! The more I try, the more it seems like I'm messin' up. Now you're freakin' out and for what? Because I got caught up in a stupid fantasy? Damn it! Why is this so hard?! Why can't I just be the guy that'll do right by ya?!"

That has me snap out of my funk and look at him funny.

"Wait...What did you just say?"

"Huh?"

I let him go but only so that I can take hold of his face in both my hands.

"Where is this pity coming from? The Roy I know doesn't sound like this. My Roy is a strong Koopa that doesn't take nothing from nobody. My Roy is amazing. My Roy doesn't give up when things get hard. My Roy fights and does so like no one else. So you tell this wuss to take a hike because only the real Roy is wanted here."

His expression is still one of concern though it's a bit softer than it was.

"But I..."

"What? The fantasy thing? Dude, how often have you noticed me getting lost in thought? It's nothing to worry about. Hell, it's my fault for not recognizing that look on your face. I must space out all the time and worry you. I'm sorry, Roy..."

I let my hands fall to my sides.

"You're not the one making this harder than it needs to be. I am. I'm the problem."

Hearing that takes him by surprise. But as my words sink in, he glares at me.

"Now that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Roy?"

"How are you the issue? It's not like you are purposely messin' any of this up. Ya simply don't know how ya feel. That's not a reason to blame yourself."

"Do you not hear yourself? It is me that's the problem. I don't know how I feel. How do I not know how I feel? These are my feelings, yes? So how come I don't understand them? Why can't I give you a simple yes or no to if I like you? Because I know for a fact I do like you. You are Roy flipping Koopa! You are amazing! You're the kind of guy that is perfect for any gal out there but you beat the masses of fan-girls away because you know there's someone better. You know you deserve better. You won't settle for anything less. So why...Why do you bother with someone like me? Someone you don't know. Someone that's different. Someone that's so broken that at this point that..."

He cuts me off with a very abrupt and very passionate kiss. I initially feel the impulse to push him away. But I don't. In the fraction of a nanosecond made in the moment of contact, my body makes a choice for me, a choice, if left up to my more rational mind, wouldn't be able to do. I hold him tight and kiss him back. He doesn't stop to understand my sudden shift in going along with this. He doesn't stop because this is unusual, for me anyway. He stops because I'm bad at this and our teeth end up smashing.

"Ow!"

"*whimpering*"

"Ya okay?"

I nod but hold my mouth. He chuckles nervously and rubs his head.

"We got a bit carried away, huh?"

I make a gesture that reads of "just a little bit".

"Heh...I don't know what got into ya, but I like it."

"*muffled* Very funny."

"Nah, sugar, I mean it. Now I get why the old man calls ya spitfire. You're just full of surprises."

He laughs to himself and doesn't see the conflicted look I get. Why'd he have to mention Bowser now? I had all but had him out of my mind and was focusing on Roy till he said his name. Damn it. Does this mean I like Roy more than Bowser? Should I say something about this to any of them? I know I'm the one that's messed up with my inability to feel this out right, but in making them wait for me, am I just stringing them along and giving them false hope? Argh! I don't want to hurt them! I'm not a heartless monster!

"Sweetheart? Ya alright?"

I shake my head clear and put my hands down.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Ya sure? Ya looked like somethin' was eatin' at ya."

I look down at the floor.

"Babe?"

"Roy...Did your heart ever want to ask a question that your head was too afraid to ask?"

He looks worried.

"Like what?"

I twiddle my fingers.

"...Am I a bad person?"

His eyes widen like I slapped him.

"W-Why would ya think that?"

"Because I feel like that."

"Sugar, there's no reason for ya to feel like that."

"Yes, there is. I can't stand you being in the dark as to why I'm messed up about all this."

"...Lynsie?"

My eyes start to water and my heart bursts.

"The reason I'm having trouble sorting my feelings out is because there IS another guy. One that's admitted his feelings for me and everything."

Roy tenses up, his hands ball up into tight fists.

"Who?"

His voice is calm, but I know that's a lie. Roy hearing something bad and then being chill about it is a huge warning that something is going to be wrecked in a major way. I regret saying anything for starting this avalanche that's about to hit. But I'm also relieved that I can get some of this off my chest.

"Promise you won't be mad?"

He huffs through his nose, his eyes drilling into me for answers I have yet to tell.

"...Depends. Do ya like this chump?"

Okay Lynsie, you have a very volatile dude in front of you, the next thing you say better be worded the right way or shit will hit not just the fan but EVERYTHING!

"Well...At one point, I liked him as much as I like you. But..."

"*snarl* But?"

"But...He recently did something very stupid and made me upset."

That made him half-smile. Partly because this was good news on his end yet still miffed him about me being upset because of what some guy did.

"So...What? Ya still like him?"

"I...I do. But if it makes a difference, I currently like you more."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"For real?"

"The most real of reals."

He appears to relax to this but his guard is still up.

"That's good. My girl has fine taste. Ya know I'm better than that dweeb."

He puts a hand to my cheek and caresses with his thumb.

"Now tell me, sugar, who's the loser that's tryin', and failin' miserably, to steal ya from me?"

I don't think I can say anything else to make his mood better than it is now. Might as well spill the beans.

"Promise you won't be mad."

"Babe, the only way I'd be mad at this point is if you said it really was Waluigi or one of my brothers. Now come on...You can tell me. I promise I won't be mad. I mean, it's not like it's the old man or..."

My eyes break contact with him and he freezes, his hand falls from my face.

"You...Ya can't be serious."

I merely nod my head.

"B-But...But he has Peach...Why is he after you?"

I rub my arm sheepishly.

"That might have been my bad. I sort of showed him how Peach is trash and that he should be with a real woman that will treat him right. Apparently, I fit that bill."

Roy is silent and still for a while. I don't dare say or do anything during this time. Then he comes alive again. He roars out, flames bellowing up at the ceiling, and he stomps the floor harshly, causing a quake that sends me flying across the room.

"That #%*&$ selfish, self-centered, poor excuse for a ruler! He knew! He #%*&$ knew I was seekin' to make ya mine and he still went after ya?! He's gonna #%*&$ pay! I'm gonna #%*&$ make him pay dearly for this! Mark my words! That old man will learn what it means to #%*&$ with me! Right, sugar?! Sugar? ...Lynsie?"

"*groan*"

In the wake of being hurled across his room, it has come to my annoyingly painful attention that I have slammed into a very ill placed shelving unit and as such, I now ache in a variety of places I wish didn't. Thank goodness for this shell or I'd be in worse. Seeing this, Roy is panic-stricken and rushes over.

"Lynsie? Hey, are ya alright? Ah, crud...What have I done?"

"*chuckle* Bad boy...Not only did you break your promise to not get mad, but you swore a lot too. You owe the jar so much coin now."

I attempt to get up but he keeps me down.

"Easy now. Don't rush. Ya might be hurt."

"You worry too much. The shell took the brunt of it. This thing is more than a decoration you know."

He doesn't seem to understand my current okay mood after such an event happened.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why aren't ya ticked off at me?"

"Dude, it's not like you meant to do that. Accidents happen."

"But I..."

"You were upset and blowing off steam. I dropped a pretty big bomb on you and expect some collateral damage. Frankly, I imagined way worse. Like, you breaking out of the room and going after Bowser like a madman type thing. This was super tame by comparison."

I laugh this all off but he doesn't see it how I do. He punches a nearby wall and I freeze like a statue.

"R-Roy?"

He glares at the crater in the wall, letting the stone crumble around his hand before slowly pulling away and staring at his fist.

"I...I'm not sayin' sorry. I know you'll forgive me anyway, but I don't forgive myself."

"Roy, it's..."

"No...It's not okay, sugar. I can't control my anger. It's fine when I unload on some scumbag. But I won't risk hurtin' ya."

He looks at me with guilt then turns away.

"You should go. I have a lot to think about."

I look at him funny and get off the floor.

"No."

"I wasn't askin' ya."

"And I'm telling you, I won't leave. Not till I know you're okay."

He hangs his head low.

"That. That right there is somethin' I don't deserve."

"Oh my god...*sigh* Dude, leave the self-pity to me. It doesn't work on you."

"Sweetheart..."

"So making me leave and letting you beat yourself up is your big solution? Come on, tough guy, you're better than this. Let me help you to help you."

He looks at me over his shoulder.

"And how could ya possibly help me?"

I roll my eyes, starting to get annoyed by this.

"I'll explain as we do this. But I swear it'll help. So I just have to ask...Do you trust me?"

He looks conflicted.

"I don't know."

"Tell you what...If this works or not, I'll promise to do anything for you that you want. No questions asked."

That seems to put some of his usual pep back in his step.

"For real? No foolin'?"

"You have my word."

He thinks this over before finally answering.

"Alright, sugar. Ya got yourself a deal."

"Excellent."

I slip off my shell and his eyes widen with a faint blush coming to his cheeks.

"Uh..."

"Go on, tough guy. Take off your shell. You'll want to be more flexible for what I have in mind."

Now his faces burns bright and he can't toss his shell fast enough to his liking.

"Good. Now the fun can begin."

"I love ya."

I just smile at this silly boy. It's now time for me to work my magic and help him feel so much better.

[Meanwhile: Deep in Soda Jungle]

Four souls are lost. Hidden from each other within the dense overgrowth. The only beacon of reference for them to follow was the large plume of smoke that derived from a bomb's fire that is slowly being put out. But as with all things, such confusion won't last forever. Eventually, they will find one another and the chaos will begin again. Eventually, there will be harsh words said and destructive blows given. Eventually, the land will get sick of their bull crap and attack them to make them leave...Eventually.

The first to arrive at the smoldering ashes is Waluigi, his long legs carried him farther and faster than the other three. Waiting for any of the others to show up was a tedious task for the lanky man in lavender. Patience was never his strong suit. So when another human came into view, Waluigi was ready to burst into action. However, this human turned out to be his partner in crime and only friend, Wario.

"Wah!"

"Wah yourself."

"What's your problem?"

"I'm going nuts sitting here waiting for them to get back here."

"Well, genius, did you-a ever think that maybe they aren't headed this way?"

"No. But we did."

"And what's our track record for being in the right place at the right time?"

Waluigi opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out after really giving it some thought.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"...Then what are we doing waiting around here for?! Let's head back to the castle and beat'em up before they get there!"

Waluigi takes off as Wario sighs and kicks a charred rock before starting to walk.

"I miss my motorcycle."

"Come on, slowpoke! Move those stumps you-a call legs!"

"*swearing under his breath*"

So the pair head back from whence they came. Completely unaware that not long after they leave the area, the Mario Brothers emerge from the treeline. Probably would've helped had they heard the frog and cricket noises, but go figure.

"Mario!"

"Luigi!"

Bro hug reunion moment!

"Do you-a think we got out before them?"

"Does it really matter? Let's just go. We've wasted enough time being sidetracked. We've got a Princess to save."

"Yeah! Let's-a go!"

Luigi skips away merrily and Mario follows behind in a less enthusiastic pace. Bad enough he already sounds like a weirdo with the sounds being made from the badge, but he didn't want to add anything else to this already odd day.

On the other end of the road, the negatives lay in wait for their positive counterparts. Like cats, they stalk the grounds around the castle and wait to pounce on their prey. But as time goes by, the cats slowly morph into less clever predators. Like, the kind of hunters that think they know what they're doing when in actuality they haven't the first clue in what the hell they're doing. For example, running around the castle like maniacs is not an effective way to be stealthy or intimidating method.

"Aaah! Where are they?!"

"I don't-a know?!"

"This is driving me crazy!"

"Do you-a think they got lost?"

"Maybe they got eaten. A lot of hungry things lurk in this zone."

"Maybe, but will that even matter?"

"What do you-a mean?"

"You-a ever notice that even when they get hurt, they just come back like nothing happened?"

"Yeah...They do do that."

"It's probably because of the coins they get along the way."

"What does that have anything to do with them?"

Wario sighs.

"No one's ever explained this to you-a before, have they?"

Waluigi looks at him confused.

"Okay, give me a second..."

Wario goes into the bushes. After a little bit, he returns with sickly looking Wiggler that's been tinted purple. Clearly, it's suffering the effects from poisonous water the area is known for.

"See this guy? It's not gonna make it. The humane thing to do is put it out of its misery."

Before Waluigi can say anything, Wario produces a Fire Flower and burns the creature till it poofs. When Wario stops, where the Wiggler once was is now a couple of coins. This further confuses Waluigi.

"Um...How did...?"

"There are two types of coins in this world, buddy. There is the coins we make, either by magic or manufacturing them. The other type of coin are the ones left behind when we die."

Waluigi pales.

"What?"

"Of course, not every time you-a die will the coins appear. Most commonly, fire will make the coins show up."

"Why?"

"I don't-a know. Something about fire purifying the body and the soul taking the form of gold coins or some junk like that. I was told this when I was a kid, so I don't-a remember much of the science behind it."

"Oh."

"Yeah, it's weird."

"Wait...If we only have one soul, why do some produce more than one coin?"

"I think that has something to do with the value of the person's life."

"How does..."

"I don't-a know! I'm not an expert on the subject."

Wario collects the coins.

"All I do know is this...When you-a gather 100 coins, you-a can add extra life to your own. This means, in case of suffering normally life ending damage that would mean death, the extra life allows you-a to be completely restored when the old life ends."

"Hold on...Are you-a saying that, if I gather 100 coins a bunch of times, I can live forever?"

"In theory, yes."

"Awesome!"

"But you-a have to take age into account. If you-a live to be a hundred and get close to dying, you'd probably just revert to a more healthy version of that same hundred-year-old fart. So it's a win-lose type deal."

"Hmmm...I see your point. It's one thing to live forever in my prime. But as an old man in diapers and missing my teeth? No. Not worth it."

"Agreed. But if there's a way to stop the aging..."

"Now that's a different story, my friend."

They share a wicked laugh together. As absolutely insane as this sounds, it's actually a common thing in this world but not often known. While Gold Flowers are power-ups which when collected, are able to shoot golden or silver fireballs that explode and do splash damage when they hit blocks, enemies, or walls. If enemies are hit by the projectiles, they will yield a number of coins. However, this is not what they are talking about. When you hit an enemy with a fire flower you get a coin. Very common knowledge. What most don't really understand is the why of fire being able to make coins of the dead.

The fire flower shoots fireballs. It burns its victims to a crisp, effectively cremating them alive, but in such a quick instance that death is painless. This intense heat does two things. One, it burns away the body and leaves nothing behind. And two, it solidifies the soul into a purely material form, aka, coins.

Such value of these souls is what inspired the world to use this likeness to represent the object of monetary value. Hence, the currency of the world is a tribute to the lives of those who have fallen. These soul coins tend to keep a consistent appearance, but, have been known to differ in size and look depending on the creature. An example of this is the Dragon Coins primarily found on Dinosaur Island. These are the souls of dead Yoshi and collecting five of them is the equivalent of 100 normal coins.

'Why don't other attacks give you coins though?' you ask. Its because the body isn't destroyed and the soul simply isn't released. 'Does that mean the Yoshies were burned to make their soul coins?' you ask again. No. Yoshies do not have to be burned to produce soul coins upon death as they have a unique byproduct of their species. When Yoshies eat anything, they produce essence coins. This means that Yoshies are able to process the Life Force of anything that they and it will be converted into coin. The effect of this process also shares the Life Force with the Yoshi, so upon death without fire, they too form a coin.

An oddity of all this is the undead. Beings such as Boos also have soul coins even though they have already passed on. The reason for this, as some believe, is because while the undead are, well, dead, they are now spirits. Spirits are restless souls. They continue to remain here even though they have shed their mortal coil. So, by that logic, it is reasonable as to why even an undead has a soul coin. They are using the power of their soul to remain on this world even though the body isn't what it use to be. They died deaths that were unfair in their eyes and not by fire, so they continue to be until their reason for remaining is solved.

Such is the interesting and rather bizarre world in which this is. Of course, Wario and Waluigi are none the wiser about all this. Nor are they able to pay attention when the Mario Brothers reach the castle and enter it's doors until it's too late. The doors are shut on their faces and the real funny part is they're locked out.

"Oh, crud! This isn't good."

"Uh...If anyone asks, we had put up a fight and they threw a cheap shot that allowed them to get through."

"...That'll work."

"I hope so."

"It's fine. We should totally be fine. I mean, it's not like they'll get by the Dragon Siblings."

"Yeah. Those two are dead men walking."

With that, the pair takes their leave. They may not have been successful in their mission, but if anything is for sure, three massive and very dangerous dragons will finish the job for them. At least...They hope so.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	26. Evening four: Brothers in Arms

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

It had been what seemed like hours now since Bowser took up Lynsie's child-rearing duties. A harmless favor and one he doesn't mind doing. But the odd part is that he wasn't expecting her to take so long just to talk to Roy. It made him wonder just what was going on. Could they really still be talking? Roy does harbor feelings for the girl...Could he be doing something? Roy's always been the more impulsive of the bunch, the past of these kids tends to linger on in some of their behavior. God, how long has it been since they became part of his clan? He could remember the day he found them clearly.

His beloved had just kicked him out of the castle in sorrow after another clutch of eggs, the fourth or fifth time he thinks, failed to yield any life and he was wandering around the kingdom trying to think of a way to make her feel better. Lost in his melodically thoughts, the Koopa King was blindsided by a small pink shell that came and went like the wind. Now, this would've meant nothing to him normally, yet this wasn't a normal moment, as the great King came to realize that he had just been on the losing end of a very speedy pickpocketing. Not only was his coins taken but even his wristbands. How that was managed he had no clue but did have respect for such talent. So he did what any normal person would...He got mad and began hunting this thief down for revenge!

With few details to go off on, his search wasn't easy. It took nearly half an hour before he managed to catch a glimpse at the suspicious pink shell. Like a heat-seeking missile, he followed that tiny pink spiked shell till it appeared to be cornered in an old dilapidated house that barely was even a house by definition. Not like that it matters. Certainly made no difference to him when he bashed his way in. This frightened what turned out to be a baby Lemmy and was being held by a young Larry. Instantly confused, he was unaware that the boys weren't alone, nor did he realize the others had surrounded him in ambush until they attacked to defend their smaller brothers. While not effective against someone like Bowser, the children put up a hell of a fight and even managed to topple the King a few times before he resulted in using his magic to freeze them in their assault.

A lengthy chat was had, in which, he came to find out these seven misfits were orphans that had learned to fend for themselves. Whatever happened to their parents remains a mystery to this day and one that the elder children refuse to mention. This, however, seemed to be a blessing to the downtrodden King. Here were seven homeless and parent-less children that had so much potential in them. It would be a shame to let them waste away in the state they were in. No. He knew this was fate. They weren't his blood, but these kids were now going to be his family. Surely this would please his beloved. To finally have young ones running around in their lives, that will make her happy once again. That was the idea at least and for a time it did work. There was peace and love in their lives for about a year before it faded away again. But she didn't stay happy for long. She did love the Koopalings, he honestly believes she did, but they were still a bandage on her heart. They weren't HER real children. So she kept trying. She wanted so badly to be a real mother. And then, after so many failed hatchings...she was gone. Hard to believe that was fifteen years ago. Oh to be eight-teen again. But what can he say? He was dumb, in love, and believed there was nothing that he couldn't accomplish.

But since then, he has come to learn many things about these children. From the way they talk, the way they walk, the way they've grown, and the way they scheme. And with so much time having passed, he was beginning to think that is one of Roy's more deviant plays.

"Papa?"

"Huh? What is it, Jr.?"

"Is Mama almost done talking to Roy yet?"

Good question. Only problem being he didn't have an answer to it.

"Father, if you would permit, I will go check on the pair."

Ludwig is always one to offer assistance. Especially if he thinks it will benefit him in some way.

"Well..."

As much as Bowser would've liked to go himself, given that they recently reconciled, going to check on her might give off the wrong message and be seen as being clingy. Better to be safe on this one.

"I suppose you can. But no funny stuff. I don't want a repeat of last time."

"Of course, Father. You have my word."

Ludwig bows.

"And just to make sure you keep your word...Iggy will be joining you."

Ludwig looks horrified but swallows his pride. Iggy rubs his hands together in an oddly menacing way.

"Don't worry, dad. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"You're okay with this, aren't you Ludwig?"

Ludwig plays it with a charming grin.

"Of course, Father. Come, brother. Let us be away."

Bowser chuckles to himself as they leave. Iggy's a clever boy. But smart can often be overruled by his curiosity and minimal insanity. Yes...Iggy is a perfect guard for watching his elder brother. Nothing Ludwig can do will overtake his own goal of learning more about humans. This won't take very long.

"You know, I really wasn't going to do anything nefarious with the maiden, correct?"

"Brother, do you really think I care?"

"...What?"

"I don't care if you or Roy or Morton or anyone else has a 'thing' for her. Just don't mess with her to the point it messes with me."

Ludwig looks at his younger sibling odd.

"I'm not sure I follow?"

"Let me put it this way..."

Iggy pulls his brother in close and his voice suddenly carries a snarling tone.

"I finally have a human test subject. Not only that but a willing one. And I'll be damned if anyone, even YOU FOOLS I call family, impedes my scientific research! So play your part of the white knight like a good boy and don't get in my way."

Iggy lets Ludwig go with an innocent smile.

"I'm glad we could have this chat, brother. I do so enjoy our conversations."

Iggy proceeds to merrily stroll down the halls. Leaving Ludwig in a state of confusion.

"Man...I forgot how intense you can get."

All Iggy does is giggle. Ludwig then makes a mental note to avoid getting on his brother's bad side. It isn't long before the pair reaches their lodgings. Though, much to their puzzlement, the oddest of sounds can be heard muffled behind one of the doors. And they only seem to get stranger the closer they get.

"*muffled groans*"

"What do you think that is?"

"I don't know. But if I had to guess..."

"*muffled moans*"

"I'd say those two are in the midst of a heated mating rite."

Ludwig pales.

"W-What?"

"Shame we had the old doors replaced. The keyhole would've made an observation so much more informative and interesting."

"How are you so calm about this? That brute is violating the innocence of the tender flower."

"*scoff* You're just mad because it isn't you in there with her."

Ludwig blushes.

"T-T-That...That is a vulgar thing for you to even suggest. I am insulted you'd even think I'd be a lowly as Roy to...indulge in such lustful and carnal sins. Even if that would mean becoming so close to the fair lovely to the point where our bodies and spirits would intertwine in the most spectacular of ways."

"...I swear you get cornier every day. And that totally didn't make you sound like a huge creep."

"I..."

"*muffled* Come on, Roy, you can do better than that."

"*muffled* Sugar, I'm tellin' ya, I just can't bend like that."

"*muffled* That's because you're so tense. Let me help my tough guy feel better."

"*muffled* Mmmm...Dang, sugar...Ya got some magic fingers~."

"*muffled* Well, I do aim to please."

"*muffled* That ya do, sweetheart."

"*muffled* Okay, now try it."

"*muffled* Whoa! This is awesome!"

"*muffled* Now can you keep up with me?"

"*muffled* Babe, I'll be able to do that and so much more."

The pair of eavesdroppers is stunned.

"Awe man, now I really wish I could see in there."

Iggy drops to the floor, doing his best to try to see through the faint creak at the door's bottom. Ludwig, on the other hand, loses his flipping mind.

"I can't take it anymore!"

Before Iggy can get a chance to do anything, Ludwig storms the door and bursts inside much to the perplexed shock of the occupants inside. Thankfully, Iggy was wrong in his guess that the two were engaged in some very adult activities. In fact...uh...well...To be honest, the boys had no clue what they were doing. All they did know, was that they looked like twisted up pretzels that were stuck partway through the turns.

"Um...You boys forget how to knock?"

I ask as Roy scrambles away to get his shades from his shell. I don't know why he doesn't like showing his eyes, heck, they're gorgeous. Maybe he's insecure? Who knows.

"*snarls* What the heck is the big idea?!"

Understandably, Roy is not a happy boy.

"Why are you nerds bargin' into my room?!"

"Technically, Ludwig did. I was merely minding my own business and trying to look under the door."

"Iggy, that's not helping your case."

I untwist from my contorted pose as Roy moves to stand by my side yet in front of me.

"Well? I'm waitin'. Talk!"

Ludwig shakes his head clear of the fog that had him clouded and is able to speak.

"Father was wondering just what was keeping the dear Lynsie from returning."

"Speaking of which, what exactly were you two doing?"

"And why it requires Roy to be shell-less in the good lady's presence?"

I chuckle.

"Dudes, we were doing yoga."

That seems to go over their heads.

"Yoga is a physical, mental, and spiritual practice/discipline that can be used to better one's self. Yoga as an exercise is a more modern exercise practice influenced by the old yoga ways. It involves holding stretches as a kind of low-impact physical exercise and is often used for therapeutic purposes. Roy here was mad and his rage was controlling him as oppose to him controlling it. With enough training, he will be much more balanced and one with his emotions. Right sweetie?"

Roy rubs the back of his head and chuckles.

"At first, I wasn't sure it made any sense and she was makin' it up. But she talked a big game and I wasn't about to back down in front of my girl. So she slowly eased me into it and, yeah, not as nutty as I figured."

"But again...Why do you need to be shell-less."

"Most poses require you to be able to bend your body at certain angles. You can't do that with a stiff shell on. So we had to take them off. Simple as that."

Iggy looks suspicious.

"And what data is there to back this up?"

"What if I told you a literature review stated, 'although the results from these trials are encouraging, they should be viewed as very preliminary because the trials, as a group, suffered from substantial methodological limitations.'? Or a systematic review on the effect of yoga on mood and the brain concluded that 'yoga is associated with better regulation of the sympathetic nervous system and hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal system, as well as a decrease in depressive and anxious symptoms in a range of populations.'? The same review also recommended more methodological rigor be applied to future clinical trials."

This makes Iggy giddy.

"Okay, I'm sold. I want to do it!"

"Maybe some other time. From what you said, Bowser is being a worry wart and wondering where I am. Better let him know all is fine before he goes nuts."

Roy shoots me a glance and I gather our shells.

"Ya sure we don't need more time?"

I hand his shell to him.

"Ask yourself this question...Will you allow him to stop you from attaining that which you seek?"

His expression hardens and he takes his shell from me.

"No one can stand in my way. I won't let'em."

"That's my tough guy."

He smiles and puts it on while I go get mine. However, the other two in the room are not deaf. So hearing this odd bit of chatter has their curiosity tickled.

"Uh...Did we miss something?"

"Is something bothering you, brother?"

"Huh? Oh. It's nothin'. Sugar already helped me with it so it's no big deal. Right, babe?"

I slip on my shell and give a thumbs up.

"You got it, dude."

"See? The problem already handled."

"And if not..."

I playfully put an arm around Roy's neck.

"I'll be there to make sure you don't explode like you're part Bob-omb or something else silly."

Much to his brothers' dismay, Roy's demeanor is more relaxed and even timid to a degree. Very odd behavior indeed. But it was only as weird as the chill and confident vibe coming off her. Was the both of them doing yoga really the cause of such a change in personality? Almost like they swapped bodies in a sense.

"Come on you goofs, let's get back to the others before Lemmy raises an army to paint Bowser's shell into a rainbow."

"Yeah...That didn't turn out good the first time either."

"Are you guys talking about the Big Paint Stars?"

"Correct. Bowser accidentally created the black paint while attempting to coat his shell in a rainbow color scheme. He was promptly possessed by the paint, and proceeded to lay waste to Port Prisma."

"Yep. He is defiantly King dork."

I head out into the hall and pull Roy with me. Not that he minds, hell, he copies me but adds his style and laces his arm around my neck. My bad boy is feeling like his old self again. Thank the stars! Ludwig and Iggy follow close behind. I can see Ludwig really is displeased by the closeness Roy and I are sharing. Maybe if he made his own intentions more clear, then things like this wouldn't happen. But I got Roy and he needs me at the moment. I dropped the news to him that his own dad was trying to win my heart while knowing Roy himself had already had his metaphorical hat in the ring. This is a trigger to his rage bigger than his Bullet Cannon. As long as I can keep him calm, things should be fine. Provided Bowser doesn't do anything that provokes the boy. And if he does, well, I only pray that it happens when none of the others are around. Sadly I know such a confrontation is inevitable. They will need to talk about this. They will need to figure out how to go about this situation without going insane. And then it will fall on me to make a choice. A choice that may destroy a family. Fuck I hate choices!

"Yo, sugar...Ya okay?"

I blink a few times and smile.

"Yeah. Got lost in the sea of thought again."

"Thinkin' about if I'm gonna punch the old man?"

"I'm hoping you won't."

"I gotta admit...It's a really temptin' idea."

"Please, don't."

"Fine...But only because ya asked."

"Thanks."

"Though...Ya mind tellin' me why ya keep doin' quick looks back at the nerds?"

I blush a little.

"That noticeable?"

"Just a bit."

"...It's about Ludwig..."

He tenses up and sighs.

"Babe, please don't tell me he's 'another guy'."

"No...Not really. I'm not sure actually. He gives me mixed messages so I'm not entirely sure."

"Want me to handle it?"

"No. I think you had enough fun after the piano incident. I think this is one I have to deal with myself."

"Look at ya. Bein' all tough. I'll let this slide so long as nothing happens with you two."

I feign hurt.

"Roy, that's cold. How could you even think I'd betray you?"

He frowns.

"I didn't mean it like that. I trust ya. I mean, a lesser gal would never have told me about any of this. It's him I get the bad vibes from. If he's sneaky enough to steal ya away to make music, then who knows what he'd do. Know what I mean?"

"I know what you mean."

I give his cheek a nuzzle and he snickers.

"*coos* Ya spoil me, sweetheart."

"Is that a complaint?"

"Not on your life."

Roy nuzzles my neck and moves up to nibble my ear, making me giggle.

"*giggles* Roy..."

"That's my name, sugar. Do go on repeatin' it~."

She continues to laugh at Roy's flirtatious advances and Ludwig scowls at them from behind.

"Iggy, you're one with an exceptional I.Q., correct?"

"Undoubtedly, yes."

"Then maybe you can enlighten me on just how someone as brutish and classless as Roy can seemingly do the impossible by carrying the favor of a such a dove as our maiden? Because I can't think of any logical reason for such a clash in different types to be able to mix in a workable way as they are doing."

Iggy looks funny at his elder sibling.

"This is really eating at you, isn't it?"

"You know I'm not one to 'lose my cool', so to speak. But this is really burning my blood."

"Before you lose a screw over this, have you ever made your motives known to her?"

"I would think my interest is quite established at this point."

"No, no, no...I mean, have YOU made it clear to HER that you are interested in her? Like, with words. Words that come out of your mouth."

Ludwig opens his mouth, but no words come out. Iggy sighs and smacks his palm to his forehead.

"Oh my god...You have got to be kidding?"

"I...I honestly didn't think..."

"Do you think Roy hasn't told her he likes her? Or even Morton? Heck, even Jr. showers her with love. Even if that love is platonic and or parental, it's still a verbal acknowledgment of their feelings."

"But...Actions speak louder than words...Right?"

"And other than a false abduction, how have you shown through actions your intent?"

"Um...Oh! I've played for her."

"Oh yeah? How many times did you do that?"

Ludwig becomes very bashful.

"T-Twice."

Iggy rolls his shoulder in a shrug.

"Face it, it's not a question of why is Roy succeeding, but a question of why aren't you putting in the same amount of effort as him if indeed your goal is to get her?"

That makes Ludwig pause.

"I...I hadn't thought about it that way. I had thought that subtlety was the way to woo a woman's heart over time. But now..."

"That plan might have worked had you miscalculated. A subtle approach would be ideal if the castle only consisted of you, dad, Jr., and her. But the fact is, there are more male options here. And some of those options are more direct in their approach. Therefore, those more upfront with their intentions males have a higher probability of gain the affection of the female they seek. So this slow shy nice guy route is not going to get you anywhere when all the other roads she can go down are faster and more simple paths. So unless you want to keep pinning from afar and pulling out your hair in frustration, I suggest you change your tactics and come clean to her the next chance you get. Preferably when Roy or Morton isn't around."

Ludwig just looks as though he were slapped about the face.

"What? Was it something I said?"

"You've had such knowledge in you this whole time, yet...You haven't gone after the fair maiden yourself?"

"Meh...I'm not interested in such things. Granted, if I were, she'd be high on my list of possible partners. But...Like I've said, I'm not interested in the act of coupling. At least...As of now, I'm not. The future is full of unknowns."

"Okay...But why? I mean...I respect your decision, but do tell how you can enjoy her company and not be charmed?"

"Simple, I'm already in love."

Ludwig's eyes widen.

"With who?"

Iggy strikes a proud pose.

"I'm in a long-term relationship with good lady science."

Ludwig nearly breaks his cool by laughing, but he manages to hold it in for his younger brother's sake.

"Science?"

"She is a tantalizing and often fickle mistress, but I love her none the less. Every test is a special date. Every failed result is like a little spat. And every success is like a baby being born."

"Wow...That's deep."

"The day I seek a real relationship with a person, is the day I'm done with science. Or just not as into it as before. But I feel that day is far from now and I am content with how I am."

"Hmmm...I respect that. Your path is noble one indeed, Iggy."

"Thank you. So...Are you actually going to take my advice?"

"I...I'm not sure I can act like that. What if I mess things up?"

"Think of it like this...If you do it, you have a 50/50 shot of success. If you keep going slow, then chances are increased that Roy is going to get the girl. So what's the more logical answer to you?"

Ludwig looks at the girl practically snuggling Roy and his resolve builds.

"As uncouth as your suggestion is, I can not allow a rogue such as Roy to wither the rose that has come to bloom in our humble abode. I shall make my intentions known to her tonight. Tomorrow at the latest."

"Why tomorrow at the latest?"

"One does not simply seek such a woman like her without an offering of the same worth. I will have to prepare something. Something that will speak to her in such ways that anything Roy does will be dwarfed in comparison."

"Heheheh...Go for it. I can't wait to see how this goes."

"See how this...Is this an experiment to you?"

"Heh...Lady science was tempted by a little social/biological study. And I just can't say no to that girl."

"Methinks you doth spoil science too much, brother."

"The rewards I reap are so worth it though. *demented snickering*"

It's moments like these where Ludwig pictures Iggy as this grand mad puppet master. Pulling strings and documenting what happens for his own knowledge as well as amusement. It's his unpredictability that makes Iggy such a dangerous adversary. But under the right conditions, he can be the greatest of allies. Ludwig on his end knows what he must do. He must compose something that will capture the heart of his fair flower more effectively than his father's method for capturing Princesses. This is his mission. Failure is not acceptable. Soon, Roy, soon he will come to rue the day he stood in his better's way. But of course, Roy and his gal pal Lynsie are unaware of such plots. They are too carefree and in the moment to perceive such happenings. But it would be unwise to believe that there are no tricks up their nonexistent sleeves. Never drop your guard. Never underestimate your target. Never back down even if the odds are against you. Never give up or surrender. For it is the Koopa way to fight against all who dare oppose them. Even if the one opposing them is one of their own.

[Meanwhile: In Castle Five]

This castle was not what the Mario Brothers were expecting. Sure, they know what to look forward to as the boss, or, bosses as it were. But the minions that roam the halls and rooms are the stuff of nightmares. In the main entrance is mass hordes of Bone Goombas, undead Goombas that wear skulls as helmets. They are slower than living Goombas and just as easy to defeat. But what they lack in power or speed, they make up in overwhelming numbers as they come together in groups. Of course, this was just the beginning. After the Bone Goombas were the relentless Dry Bones. Again, these undead Koopas weren't hard to dispatch yet swarmed in numbers far larger than they usually make.

"Why are there so many?"

"I don't know."

"Where are they coming from?"

"Again, I don't know."

"What are...?"

"I don't freaking know!"

To make matters worse, doorways and elongated halls are lined with Bone Thwomps. Bone Thwomps are more of an obstacle than an enemy, but getting stuck under them is still just as bad as their stony cousins. Not only that, but Bone Piranha Plants lurk in corners and crevices just eager to attack the pair in the hope of tasting living flesh.

"Mario...This is nuts!"

"You-a don't-a have to tell me twice!"

"There's no way it can get..."

"Stop! Don't you-a dare say it! Remember what happened last time?"

"Oops. Sorry. I forgot."

"Let's-a just be grateful that there's no mini-boss or something blocking the last chamber."

*haunting roars*

Luigi just looks at Mario.

"That one is on you-a, bro."

Mario slaps his palm to his fast in annoyance.

"Me and my big mouth."

Peeking around the corner leading to the door into the final chamber, a Bone Dragon blocks the way to the castle's heart. The Bone Dragon is a large, hydra-like dragon skeleton that has three deadly smoldering snapping heads that have eerie glowing green eyes. When alive, these creatures are purple with white spots that have orange frills along the snout and upper cheeks, still multi-headed, they are less sinister looking than the undead versions. Normally these creatures live in underground caverns on Yoshi Island, but it would seem that the Koopa King paid well to import this beast to stop the brothers.

"Uh...How do we...?"

"Don't chicken out on me now, bro. We beat this thing the same way we best any other enemy. By ground pounding it into the dirt where it came from!"

Mario attempts to charge at the massive monster but quickly retreats when the three heads blast fireballs at him.

"So? How did it go?"

"Don't start with me, Luigi."

Mario rushes out again, this time swinging his trusty hammer. But again, he's forced to retreat by the Bone Dragon's ability to attack in multiple ways.

"Did you-a hit it?"

"Not...One...Word!"

"What did I say? All I did was ask a question."

Mario runs back out yet with a new plan. He gets close enough, out of snapping distance, and flings his hammer at the beats. This almost worked, had it not been for the targeted head to chomp down on the hammer and crushed it to bits.

"*mournful* That was my favorite hammer...*rage* You-a mother #%*&$!"

Of course, that didn't make the dragon apologize, only pissed it off more than it already was. So once more, Mario retreated. And Luigi watches as his brother runs out, then comes back dozens upon dozens of times.

"*huffing* This...is...insane..."

"You're right about that. One of the definitions of insanity is to do the exact same thing over and over again expecting the outcome to change. Which is what you've been doing for the last...twenty minutes."

"*huffing* If you've got...the energy to mock me...then why don't-a...you-a try to beat it..."

Luigi gulps and takes a moment to think, also allowing Mario some time to get the air back in his lungs. After a few minutes, Luigi walks out into the hall to confront the skeletal goliath.

"Um...E-Excuse me?"

The heads target the small man in green and move in close.

"E-Easy there...N-Nice dragon...heh...uh...Y-Y-You-a have very lovely bones."

Their eyes blink a couple times before their skulls light up with blushes and bashful growls.

"O-Oh...And you-a also have very pretty eyes."

The once menacing undead is now becoming as giddy as a kitty.

"Can I...Can I pet you-a?"

A long series of purr-like trills rumble the dragons bones. It happily places it's large heads on the floor and Luigi, while incredibly nervous, found the nerve to cast fear aside. Cautiously, he places his hands on the skull of the middle head, giving it small pets to start with. Though he does jump at the sudden scare when one head sneezes, that quickly makes Luigi laugh and continue to tame the creature.

Realizing that Luigi had yet to return and that the noises in the hall were not of murder, Mario looks around the corner to see something that is making his eye twitch in a WTF moment that his brain can't understand. His shy and quick to flee brother is now belly rubbing the Bone Dragon, though, it's more like chest/breastbone rubbing since it has no belly. Luigi used complement...It's was super effective.

"You've got to be kidding me..."

Luigi turns and sees his brother, waving to him joyfully.

"Look, Mario! I made a new friend!"

The dragon, upon seeing Mario, snarls and readies to blast fire until Luigi settles it down.

"Now-now, be nice. Or I won't give you-a a treat."

That made the dragon whimper much to Mario's shock.

"It's-a okay, Mario. It's-a not going to attack. Just be nice and all will be good."

Mario is unsure, but if Luigi isn't dead at this point then he figures it really must be safe. Slowly he moves closer, his eyes following the beasts as the heads keep a creepy unblinking contact with him.

"See? All is good. Do you-a want to pet it?"

"Uh...Not really. We should get going. Remember? Peach is being held captive?"

"Oh no! I can't believe I forgot! I'm sorry dragon, but we have to leave and save our friend."

The Bone Dragon pouts but makes space so they can pass by to the door.

"Finally. Something goes our way."

Mario heads toward the door but is blocked by the dragon's tail.

"Hey!"

The bones rattle with a growl and Luigi pats its side.

"Bro, I think it wants you-a to do something nice before it'll let you-a pass."

"Oh for the love of...*sigh* Fine. What do I gotta to do?"

The beast gets back on its feet and opens their mouths.

"It wants you-a to feed it."

"It's-a dead. Why does it want food?"

"Just humor it. Toss a Dried Shroom or something we won't need."

"I don't have any. I only have basic Mushrooms. See?"

Mario pulls out of his pocket a regular Mushroom. Upon seeing this, one head blasts it with fire and the Mushroom is knocked away as it shrivels up, becoming a Dried Shroom.

"Looks like you-a got one now."

"It...It wasted a perfectly good Mushroom..."

"Just feed it before you-a end up making it mad."

Annoyingly, Mario throws the Dried Shroom past the Bone Dragon and it crawls after it. Once more the door to the final chamber is free to be entered.

"That was uncalled for."

"Bite me. I've had it up to here with these bone bags. The sooner we leave this place, the better."

Mario shoves open the doors and the brothers step inside. This chamber it gigantic! Far larger than the other four have been, but for good reason. As they step further in, the doors shut and an upset groan echoes.

"Stop that this instant!"

The torches flicker with life and the darkness slowly pulls back to uncover the Dragon Siblings.

Bonetail, the biggest and strongest elder. Unlike its still-living siblings, Bonetail is an undead dragon, having died of old age after not eating anything for centuries at the bottom of the Pit of 100 Trials. It was once a pet of the Shadow Queen, but it is unknown why or how Bonetail came to reside at the bottom of the Pit. According to most, Bonetail, along with their two siblings, went around the world terrorizing people some time before the Shadow Queen was imprisoned behind The Thousand-Year Door. Bonetail even in death resembles their siblings, the only difference being they are completely skeletal with cracks on their cheekbones. They are a large dragon with small withered dead-purple wings on their back that are unknown if capable of flight, and antennae resembling ponytails on their head that end in bone bulbs. They have large feet with sharp bone claws, and their tail is dead-purple, thin, and forked into three parts. Their eyes are hollow black but a faint ghostly blue hides deep in the sockets.

Gloomtail, the larger and poisonous middle-aged. Gloomtail is a large black dragon with a grayish purple-colored underside, jaw, and cheeks. They have small black-and-yellow wings on their back that are somehow capable of flight, and antennae resembling ponytails on their head that end in violet bulbs. They have large black feet with yellow claws, and their tail is light purple, thin, and forked into three parts. Their eyes are a dull blood red color.

And Hooktail, the big and conniving youngest. Hooktail is a large red dragon with a cream-colored underside, jaw, and cheeks. They have small red-and-purple wings on their back that are somehow capable of flight, and antennae resembling ponytails on their head that end in yellow bulbs. They have large red feet with purple claws, and their tail is light purple, thin, and forked into three parts. Their eyes are a dull green in color. Speaking of Hooktail, they aren't looking so good.

"Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a cricket! And...a frog? Urp..."

"Hook? Are you alright?"

"Ugh...I got really bad...ugh...food poisoning once when I ate a cricket and frog. Just hearing a cricket chirp makes me feel woozy! I HATE them! *groans* Ooooog...Must...not...gag...My poor tummy...Uuuuurp...So very woozy...Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear a...urp...cricket or frog?"

"Keep it together, Hook. It's just a sound. Focus on the fools that dared to come here and think they can possibly defeat us."

Hooktail shakes their head, trying to clear up their nausea as Gloomtail suggested.

"I guess you are right. I need to focus. But they don't appear tasty. And they're so small. Hmmm...I suppose they might make a good snack. And the bottoms of their feet smell like they might make a good sauce with some spices."

"AROOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Bonetail howls and Gloomtail nods in agreement.

"They have a point. When are you ever going to stop with this ridiculous foot fetish of yours?"

"It's not a fetish! I have a really strong nose and I can smell things you can't!"

"I don't know..."

Mario interjects.

"When I fought you-a for the Crystal Star, you-a were trying to offer me a chance to smell your feet. Even going so far as to tell me that 'people pay good money to do this'."

The elder dragons look at their younger sibling with disgust and all Hooktail can do it shrug with a guilty expression.

"Hook, I think you have a problem."

"AROOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yeah, you said it."

"H-Hey! This isn't supposed to be about me! This is supposed to be about them!"

The dragons once more pay attention to the two humans standing before them.

"AROOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Indeed. We've fought the red one before, so the green one might be just as troublesome. But then again, unlike our past battles, we are no longer fighting alone. I say the odds are in our favor."

"Yay! I'm so hungry from waiting here. What I'll do is saute them to crispy goodness and gobble them down...HEADFIRST!"

"My first fresh meat in ages...Allow me to take my time...And toy with you for awhile!"

"You hear that? Snack time, little appetizers! But which one of you morsels should I taste first?"

"AROOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Will you cut that out!"

Gloomtail bops the top of Bonetail's head and the dim blue hidden in its skull burns bright, giving them normal looking ghostly blue eyes.

"*snarls* You dare hit me?! Wait...I...I can talk? I can talk again! Finally! Thank you!"

"Welcome back, bonehead."

Bonetail takes a better look at their surrounds and glares menacingly at Mario.

"You!"

"Me?"

"Him?"

"Not helping, Luigi"

"You, red man...You defeated my master. She is forever gone from this world thanks to you and your meddling. You will pay dearly for such a treacherous act!"

Bonetail rears back on its hind legs in a threatening pose.

"GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! Quake in fear, mortal fools! For I am Bonetail! Strongest of the Tail Trio! I will avenge my master by taking your lives...and then gnawing on your bones for eons to come!"

Gloomtail nudges Hooktail.

"See that? Now THAT is how you do evil right. No fooling around. No pretending to learn a lesson when things look bleak. Just straight up, honest, down to the point wicked intent."

"*grumbles*...Shut up."

"Get them my brethren! Feast upon their flesh and let them know what the face of death looks like!"

And like that, the battle had begun. This was going to be a hard match for the Mario Brothers to overcome without a battle buddy like when these monsters were fought the time. Even as the weakest among the three, Hooktail is a powerhouse. Sporting nasty Fire Breath, crippling Stomps, and Chomps that would break stone. Gloomtail is even stronger than Hooktail, possessing Poison Breath, thunderous Stomps, bone breaking Chomps, ground wrecking Earthquakes, devastating Charges, and powerful Megabreath flames. And lastly, the destroyer of the three, the elder dragon Bonetail. This undead foe attacks with Dangerous Breath that can put opponents to sleep if it comes out white, confusion if green, shrink if purple, and freeze if blue, the beast can Recover from damage as well, plus like it's siblings they have death dealing Stomps and Chomps that crush anything that gets in its jaws.

Yes, this was going to be the most difficult, if not, THE most brutal battle the Mario Brothers have ever faced. Unless Bowser does something spectacular if and when they reach him, the King of the Koopas will fail in comparison to the Dragons. It will take every trick in Mario's and Luigi's playbooks to escape this chamber alive or with as many lives as possible that they've accumulated over the course of their adventures. At least they have an advantage over one of the three. Each move they make creates a stomach-wrenching sound that weakens Hooktail to a degree. But that's only one problem that's weakened and that leaves two more ready to swoop in to make up for the disadvantage. Only skill, luck, time, and the number of remaining items they have will tell if the Mario Brothers can win this.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	27. Night four: Fighting intensifies

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

The boys and I soon return to the others as they are in the progress of playing charades with big bad boss Bowser, King of the Koopa. Immediate flags go up when Bowser sees how chummy I am with Roy. It actually kind of makes me feel good. Seeing someone, anyone, let along the mighty Bowser, getting jealous of the boy on my arm...It makes me feel pretty and wanted. Of course, Jr. isn't pleased that Roy is sticking so close to me, but he has to deal with it this evening. I'm Roy's means of calm in the sea of his bubbling rage. One wrong move and this tough guy will explode worse than a wild Banzai Bill that managed to hit King Bob-omb, just bad news man, really bad news. I can't risk Bowser accidentally setting him off if he tries to make some sort of move. Dear lord, how did I go from caretaker to a member of the bomb squad?

This was proving a bit of a distraction for the Koopa King. Hard to pay attention to the kids guessing what he's supposed to be when his mind keeps getting lost on why his spitfire was staying so close to Roy. Not only that, she was allowing him to paw at her like it wasn't a big deal. What was she up to? Was this part of her little game? Was she still secretly mad and this was her way of punishing him? No, none of this made any sense. Maybe...Maybe this is just a tease? Yeah...Tease him to rile him up. Make his blood boil. Make him want her more. Oh, well played, girl. Fine. Two can play this game. If she wants his attention so badly, then it's only fair to deny her the satisfaction. Kings don't surrender so easily. Not without putting up a hell of a fight.

Roy is oblivious to anything else that wasn't currently tucked under his arm. While she may have taken her arm off from around his neck, he was more than comfortable keeping his draped around her like a muscular brace. In a way, this was a huge score for him. Sure, he knew Lynsie was sticking around to keep him in check, but it's not like he can't enjoy it as a perk. So if he were to, let's say, take advantage of the situation by getting as much affection as he can while rubbing it in his old man's face, well...heh...Then he guesses them's the breaks. Yeah, how do ya like it now, old fool? This is MY girl. She always was MY girl. Ain't nothing ya can do to take MY girl away from me. See how she lets me be so close? How she lets me put my hands on her. How she lets me drive her crazy.

"*flustered* R-Roy...*whisper* Please don't mess with my neck. It's sensitive."

Yeah? See, old man?! She tells me things like that! She trusts me with her secrets! Me! Not you! ME!

"Roy?"

His grip is getting stronger on me and he keeps looking at Bowser who just so happens to not be doing so well. Oh, come on. Is he really doing this right now? I bump Roy's gut with my elbow.

"Yeah sugar?"

"*whisper* Don't start trouble."

"Babe, I'm not."

"I'm not blind. You're teasing him and using me to do so."

"What? That ain't what I'm doin' at all."

"Oh yeah? Then what are you doing?"

Roy grins mischievously.

"Well, since ya asked..."

He nibbles my ear.

"I'm letting everyone know just who ya belong to~."

His tone is deep yet hushed. I do what I can to fight the blush that threatens to come to my cheeks. And even though I know I shouldn't say anything, my mouth asks the million coin question.

"And just how are you doing that?"

His grin widens and he moves to stand in front of me.

"Like this!"

Roy takes hold of my shoulders then chomps his mouth down on my neck and I flinch hard before needing to bite my lips before any sound escapes. Seeing this, Roy smirks and drags his tongue slowly across my skin. I try not to squirm. I try not to make a sound. I try not to pull any unwanted attention. But this is not what happens. Especially when Roy decides to bite down and sucks on a particularly sensitive spot that has me come undone right there. All eyes are on us when the most embarrassing noise comes out of me. Yet for Roy, this couldn't be more pleasing. I'm putty in his arms and grasping at his shell harshly, causing Roy himself to produce a rather deep rumble that shakes me to my core.

"Roy!"

Bowser's disapproving voice does little to stop Roy. In fact, it does the opposite and makes him bite harder, really sinking his teeth in me for more of a better lasting mark.

"Roy Koopa!"

A parent using a full name is always a red flag warning. Feeling he's done a fine job, Roy detaches from my neck with loud wet pop and the biggest cocky grin smearing his face.

"Somethin' the matter, pops?"

Roy doesn't even look at Bowser. He's having too much fun looking at the mess he's made me into. My face is flush, mouth open and panting, knees so close to buckling it's pathetic. Bowser is not happy.

"Roy...Step away from her."

"Heh...Now, why would I do that?"

"I'm not going to tell you twice. Get away from her. Now."

"That's a bit rude, pop. Shouldn't ya ask her if she wants me to go?"

Roy nuzzles my cheek and along under my chin.

"Go on, sweetheart. Tell the old man if ya want me to stop."

My head is so frazzled I can't even begin to think of words I'd say at this moment. I feel so damn embarrassed and ashamed by my weakness. I just want to get away but I can't make my legs move. All I end up doing is trying to hide in Roy's chest. Roy smiles and strokes my head affectionately.

"I think ya got your answer, pop."

Bowser begins to growl and the others in the room start to worry.

"Brother...It would be wise of you to do as Father wishes and not provoke him."

Roy smirks.

"Ask yourself the question...Why does he want me to back off?"

That got the others, except Jr., to look at their dad with inquisitive eyes. Now Roy looks over his shoulder to see the look on Bowser's face.

"Ya wanna tell'em or should I, old man?"

The King wavers in his stern expression.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ya know...I've always thought you were the most awesome person for takin' us in and makin' us your kids. We had nothin'. Then one day, ya come along and give us everythin'. I looked up to ya, old man. So for you, of all people, to stab me in the back..."

Bowser flinches. The room has a sense of dread. I know what's to come and act on instinct.

"Bedtime, everyone! Now!"

Roy jumps from my outburst.

"But Mama..."

"I SAID, NOW!"

I've never raised my voice to them before or had this tremble that made my voice crack. So this was a BIG uh-oh cue to get out now, even though they didn't want to miss what was going on. Slowly, seven leave the room but most likely are on the other side of the door and listening in, while three remain. Bowser, Roy, and myself. The tension only feels heavier now that it's just us. The first to speak is Bowser.

"Boy...How much do you know?"

Roy turns fully around to face him.

"I had my suspicions. But she filled me in on what you've been up to."

Bowser's gaze falls on me.

"You told him?"

I fiddle with my fingers nervously.

"Hey! Don't put this on her like she did wrong! Do ya even know how messed up it was for her to tell me about this? But still, at least she had the guts to tell me."

"The things I choose to do don't concern you, boy."

"*snarl* Like shell! You have no right to..."

I put my hand on Roy's shoulder and he huffs through he nose to calm down.

"Bowser...I...It wasn't right to not tell him. You can be mad if you want. But he needed to know. He's been after me since day one. As his father, you do owe him an apology because you knew this. Heck, you were there when he came to me with a box of chocolates. I don't even blame Roy for how he feels. He has every right to be upset. You both need to talk about this. And we all need to come to an understanding on this before it tears us, this family, or even the very Kingdom apart. That's something I can't in all good conscience be able to live with if I end up being the cause of so much pain."

That makes them soften their expressions.

"She makes a point, pop."

Bowser sighs and rubs his face.

"I know. I was hoping to do this under better circumstances."

"Can I...Can I at least ask ya why? Why are ya interested in her when ya already got Peach?"

Bowser sits down on the floor.

"I don't have Peach. I will never have her."

Roy and I are confused.

"Hold up...I thought she was in her room?"

"Don't tell me that cheeky shrew escaped. I will personally beat the snot out of Boom-Boom and Pom-Pom if they allowed that woman to get away."

"...Sugar, I know you're not tryin' but that was freakin' sexy as hell."

"Not now, Roy."

Bowser coughs to get our attention again.

"Princess Peach is still in this castle. So do try not to be so overly dramatic."

"I promise nothing."

"Anyway...What I mean is, I can capture Peach and even marry her...But I'll never truly have her. I see it now. All my effort has been wasted on that infernal woman. Even now..."

Bowser looks at his hand.

"Even now that woman is still in my heart. After so many long years, the torch I carried for her no longer needs the flames to be tended. I can't put it out even if I try. And believe me, I have been trying. Ever since..."

He looks at me.

"Ever since you opened my eyes."

I hang my head down. I so fucking knew this was my fault. Can't I do anything right?

"Still, ya knew I was makin' my move on her. It's a cheap shot on your part to mack on my girl when ya know I called dibs."

Okay...That sounded less than charming.

"You can't call dibs on a person. Besides, I outrank you, boy. If anything, I get the first choice of females."

Yeah...Not liking how this is starting to sound.

"That's a load of bull and ya know it. You're just being a selfish jerk."

"Mind your tongue, boy."

"No! You're just cheesed that the girl ya always wanted is a total #%*&$ like everyone already knew and ya just wanna replace her with someone we all know is better!"

"I know that! Why wouldn't I want someone better?! At least she actually likes me!"

"Ya can't have her!"

"And you can't stop me if I try!"

"CUT IT OUT!"

I snap.

"Both of you are out of your minds if this is supposed to make it easier to choose. You're talking like I'm not even here or like I'm not a person. I'm not a freaking object! You can't own me!"

I don't know what's gotten into me...but I like it.

"Sugar, that's not..."

"No! Don't sugar me. And you, no spitfire either."

"What did I do?"

"None of you have any idea how all this insanity is affecting me. It's all about you and if you get the girl. Well guess what, that's not how it works! I decide whom I like! And you know what else...I can't do this anymore. I'm done. Heh...Yeah...I'm done."

Bowser is stunned and Roy begins to panic.

"S-Sugar...Ya can't mean that. I love..."

"Don't...Don't utter those words. You do care about me, that much I know. But if you did love me, you wouldn't have used me for that shameful display. And for what? Just to tick off your dad and give me this hickey?"

He flinches and a guilty blush colors his face.

"And you..."

Bowser gulps.

"Telling me you love me yet still marrying Peach and saying I'm all yours...Greedy boy. You can't have me and Peach at the same time. I will not play second fiddle to no third-rate royal. You want me? You go after me and me alone."

"B-But the Mushroom Kingdom..."

"You want it so badly, take it. I don't care. I just don't care anymore. *sigh*"

I pull my shell off.

"As annoyed as I am right now, listening to you two fight a stupid tug of war with me as the darn rope. I will be clear that I care about you dunderheads. I want to make sure you're happy. I want all of us to be happy. But I can't do this if all it does is cause fights and other pointless drama."

I drop the shell.

"I'm going to bed. Not like I'll sleep anyway. Not with all this crud running through my head."

"L-Lynsie...Hold on and let's talk this out."

Bowser attempts to stand and come to me, but the stern glare I give him makes him freeze.

"I am going to bed. I am going to evaluate my life choices. You two are the ones going to talk. And if I open that door and see any of you kids scurrying away like mice, I am going to be even more UPSET! You have five seconds!"

There's a lot of scuffling sounds behind that door and I fling it open harshly.

"Well? Why don't I hear anything? Talk!"

I leave and slam the door hard. I am in a bad mood. I won't be sleeping, at least, not sleeping well. I can't face Jr. while I'm like this. I think tonight I'm going back to the closet. But first, maybe a snack.

Roy just stood there with his hands balled into fists, mentally fighting his need to chase after her and not doing that to avoid getting his butt whooped by a ticked off girl. Damn it! He hates feeling so weak.

Bowser just stared at the floor in guilt. She's right. She's right about everything. He didn't once think how this was for her. He just expected she'd be his, and why? Because he said he cared? He's such an idiot!

"Are ya happy now? She's had enough and it's all your fault!"

"Roy..."

"I can't even go after her because it'll only make it worst...*weakly* Do ya even see how messed up this is? I love her...and I...*whimpers* I can't even..."

Oh crap, is he...Dad mode active! Bowser gets up and goes to his son, trying to give him a parental hug of comfort. However, Roy ain't having none of it and thrashes. Bowser takes the hits. He refuses to let go. This was his fault and he needed to make it right.

"Roy...I'm sorry. I know you care about her. I do too."

"*sniffling* Ya got no right! Ya have no right to say that!"

"I know. I broke your trust. You have every right to hate my guts. I hate myself because of this."

"*weak crying* It's not fair...You already have a girl...She's total scum, but ya got her...Sugar...Lynsie...She was mine...She was the first thing I got on my own that you didn't give me or set it up to make it look like I did it myself..."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come off it, old man...Ya give us everythin', even if we fail. I'm not sayin' we don't appreciate it, but...Havin' her, knowing I was earnin' her on my own...It made me...*choked up* It made me feel like I was my own man and not just the entitled son of the King."

Bowser can feel his heart breaking.

"Roy...I didn't know you felt that way."

Roy's thrashing and crying were subsiding. The confession talking was really taking loads off him.

"Ya never ask. You're always busy."

"Then you can come to me and I'll make time for you."

"If that was true, then ya wouldn't be hirin' nannies to look after us."

"I didn't...*sigh* I did hire others. Mainly for Jr...But I didn't hire Lynsie."

"Yeah...Ya just made her stick around because of some debut. She told us about that."

"Geez...That girl doesn't keep anything to herself."

"She's not the kind of gal to lie or hide things. When she told me you were hittin' on her, she was cryin'. She felt terrible for not tellin' me sooner."

"Yeah...She's sweet like that. ...So...What else did she tell you about, uh, us? Her and I?"

"That ya recently did somethin' stupid that put ya on thin ice."

"Did she say what that was?"

Please god, please say no.

"Nah. I didn't get any details."

Thank the stars!

"What did ya do anyway?"

Crap! Uh...Think!

"I said some things and did dumb stuff. The whole Peach proposal party tomorrow was just something that got under her skin and I admit it's a dumb thing to do after telling her I love her."

Roy snickered.

"Man, pop. Ya really suck at this whole 'get the girl' thing. But I gotta tell ya, thanks."

"Uh...Why?"

"Heh...Because she said you doin' that made her like me more."

That hit a hard nail in Bowser's heart. He knew she was still mad. That he messed up and would need to earn his favor with her again. But he didn't think he dropped so low. Bowser lets Roy go but now holds his shoulders. This wasn't going to be easy for him. But he made a decision and was going to stick to it.

"Roy...I can't help how I feel about her. But...I will respect you and back down."

Roy finally looked up and met his father's eyes with his own, even if they are shaded.

"W-What?"

"It was wrong of me to try for her while you were courting her. As much as I do care for her, I...I don't want to be a bad father."

Roy's eyes widen.

"Pop...I...I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. Just...Promise me you'll take care of her."

"Do ya really think I won't? I'm gonna treat her like a freakin' queen."

Bowser chuckles and pats Roy's head.

"Go get her."

"Ya sure? She might still be ticked. And I don't know if you know, but ya don't want to mess with her when she is in a bad mood."

"How bad can she be?"

"Ya got no idea."

"Still...Man, this is hard...You should go to her. Let her know what we talked about and stuff. She may be mad, but she'll still listen if it's important."

"Alright. Thanks...dad."

Roy hugs Bowser and runs off in search of the girl, leaving the King to think on these events. He looks over at the discarded shell and collects it. Eerily it still felt warm and held her scent. His heart began to beat more and more. Pangs of desire raising in him. He began to leave for him chambers before other feelings start to come to him. Feelings that are not meant to not be seen out of his dreams or bedroom.

"*sigh* This is going to be a long night."

Roy ran through halls like a madman. He honestly had no clue where she was. He had checked Jr.'s room only to not find her there. Tracking was never his strong suit. Think...If he were a pissed off female, where would he go? It comes to him moments later. The one location in the whole castle that is cliché and predictable. And when he gets there, he has to keep his cool when he finds her snacking on a chocolate pudding cup. She doesn't notice him at first. But that changes when he breathes just a little louder than intended. He hesitates when she just stares at him. Time feels slow. Even her eating seems in slow motion. Yet it all speeds up again when she speaks.

"What?"

Okay Roy, you know what you gotta do and say. Just don't back down and let her know.

"If you have something to say, spit it out or go."

"Sug-...Lynsie."

"Yes?"

Damn it girl, why are your eyes so damn intense?!

"Go to bed, Roy. You have stuff to do later."

Now or never, tough guy. Let her know. Do it!

"L-Lynsie...I..."

"Say it already, geez."

This attitude wasn't helping. Time to fix that.

"Hey!"

He shouts and she glares at him until he removes his shades. Her eyes soften but remain strong. He walks up to her and looks her dead in the eyes.

"Lynsie."

"Roy."

"I love you."

"*annoyed* I thought I made myself clear. I'm do-...!"

His mouth on hers cut her words off, but her hands threatened to shove him back. So he pulled away.

"What was that about? Do you really think kisses will make things all better?"

"The old man and I talked."

"Good. So you boys are capable of listening when you want to."

"He's backin' off of ya."

That made her pause.

"What do you mean?"

"We talked. He apologized. Mushy stuff happened. But he told me he'll back off and let us be together."

This has her looking at him funny. She puts her snack down and puts her hands together in a thinking pyramid.

"He's giving up?"

Roy eyes her.

"He talked about how he can't help likin' ya, but yeah. He's gonna leave us alone."

"But...He gave up. Right? Just like that? No fight what so ever? Just...let it go?"

"Pretty much."

She closes her eyes and breathes through her nose. What is she thinking about? This can't really bother her...can it? Don't tell me she actually is upset about losing Bowser's attention. God damn it, old man!

"Roy..."

She keeps her eyes closed.

"Yeah?"

Her eyes open and meet his.

"How do you feel?"

He cocks his head confused.

"Huh?"

"How do you feel now? Having talked with Bowser about all sorts of stuff and junk. Do you feel any better? Like, do you still feel pent up?"

He blushes a little, his mind interpreting that last line differently than what he knows she means. But letting her questions sink in, the realization comes to him and he laughs.

"Heheh...Funny enough...Yeah. I feel great."

She smiles.

"Good. I'm glad that weight came off your soul."

"Ya know...I'd feel even better if I could get a hug?"

He holds his arms out and gives her a cute puppy dog look. She becomes unsure.

"Just because you boys worked things out doesn't mean I have."

"I know. We've been huge d-bags for not takin' your feelin's into account. But that changes now. No more tug of war. No more pressure. It's just us. And we can do anythin' we want. Or better yet...Anythin' you want."

She looks hesitant, so he gives her a warm and charming Koopa smile to encourage her.

"What do ya say, Lynsie? What can I do for you?"

Her gaze goes downward at the floor timidly and she holds her arms in a cautious manner, but he waits to see if she'll accept him. Moments pass. She keeps still, occasionally twitching her fingers to whatever thoughts are running through her head. As strong as Roy is, holding his arms out for so long is beginning to make him sore. He was about to let them fall in defeat when she finally began moving towards him. The moment her form entered his reach, it was like the vice of a Piranha Plant's jaws snapping shut. He held her close and made sure she knew he wasn't letting go unless she said otherwise. But such protests never came. She accepted this embrace and he was grateful to no end.

"Ya okay?"

"I don't know."

"Do ya wanna go to bed?"

"Probably a good idea to do so."

"Want me to escort ya to Jr.'s?"

"...No. I think I messed up when I was mad and I don't want to scare him by creeping into his room."

"O-Oh."

Roy asks a bold question before his brain has a chance to filter it first.

"Do ya wanna sleep with me tonight?"

He was mentally kicking himself for how lewdly suggestive that sounded. No way she was going to...

"Sure."

...Holy shit! Roy's face burned with a blush so deep it threatened to turn into a color to match his shell and his nose began to bleed. This got her attention.

"Oh my god! Are you alright?"

"Um..."

He let her go to hold his snout and she quickly retrieved some paper towels. Not the manliest moment of his life, but on the plus side, he was getting some TLC from his girl. So he called it a win.

"Are you sure that you're okay?"

"*stuffed* Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a little excited is all."

"Why?"

"*stuffed* Uh...N-No reason. Say! I was meanin' to ask...Am I able to call ya 'sugar' again?"

"I don't know. Is my name really so bothersome to say?"

"*stuffed* No. That's not what I meant."

"*snicker* Just messing with you."

"*stuffed* Not cool, sugar."

"Yeah yeah. Come along, tough guy. I'll help you make to your room without you hitting any walls."

"*stuffed* Thanks, sweetheart. You're so good to me."

"I try."

Carefully she guided him to his room. Once there, it was nurse Lynsie that tended to his needs and made sure the bleeding had stopped before allowing him to do anything else.

"How's it look?"

"Seems to be done now. Whatever blood vessel that busted appears to have sealed up. Still, very odd."

He chuckled nervously and rub his head.

"Y-Yeah...Go figure about that."

"Best be safe and sleep laying on your back."

"Whatever ya say, sugar."

His nerves were an absolute wreck. Sure, he had her in his room before. Sure, he was shell-less with her before. But to do so now AND have her in his bed with him? It's almost too much to even picture.

"Coming to bed, Roy?"

Lost in his thoughts, he now finds her already there and waiting under the covers. God how he could feel his nose threaten to bleed again.

"Y-Yeah, sugar. Just give me a sec to get...comfortable."

This wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't watching him. Even though she was being purely innocent, he couldn't help how timid he was getting from her starring. Eventually, his shell comes off and he manages to bring himself to the bed. Placing his shades on a nightstand, he slowly joins her with all the nervousness of a mouse laying next to a snake.

"Are you cold?"

"Huh? N-No. Why ya ask?"

"You're shaking. Here, let me..."

Further adding to his quaking nervousness, she tries to help him warm up by pulling him into a cuddle. At this point, the bad bully Koopa was about to lose his mind. On the one hand, he had just gotten back on her good side and it would be stupid for him to do anything to jeopardize this. Yet on the other hand, she was totally driving him insane and he wasn't sure how much longer he can hold back these urges.

"Is this better?"

Unsure of anything clean would come out of his mouth, Roy went with a safe move and nodded yes.

"Good."

She leans in and kisses his cheek.

"Sweet dreams, Roy."

He bites his bottom lip hard.

"*muffled* 'Night, sweet cheeks."

"Heh...Been a long time since you used that one. *yawn* Feels good to hear it again."

If this behavior struck Lynsie as odd, she gave no sign. She merely snuggles him and settles in for some rest. Roy was now regretting this as he did his best not to fidget with her nestled so close against him. Sure such cuddles were okay with a kid like Jr., Larry, or even Lemmy. But for someone like Roy, this was making him want to do things, things he didn't fully grasp and that she'd probably smack him for. What was worse was that the naughty devil on his other shoulder was reminding him that she had promised to do anything he wanted with her with no questions asked and it was getting harder not to bug her with some seemingly random thing just to make it stop. After about half an hour of him laying there, he heard the sounds of sleep next to him and it made him relax. At least if she's sleeping he can't mess up so bad.

"*sigh* Ya have no clue how hard this is right now."

The innuendo escapes him at the moment.

"Maybe if I do this...?"

Turning on his side to face her, he wraps his arms around her and holds her to his chest, his head nestled above hers.

"Mmmm...Much better."

He rubs her back a little bit and she nuzzles him softly.

"*purrs* That's my girl. *coo* I love ya too~."

This was nice. This was something he could get used to. Her soft warm body all pressed to his scaly form. Oh yeah, this is definitely how it's supposed to be. No one else earned this more than him. The old man better keep his word. This is his girl. His! No one else. Still, he needed to keep his guard up. Bowser may have backed off, but that didn't mean there weren't others. There was still Ludwig. Maybe even Morton too based on how he tends to act with her. And he isn't going to let her go without a fight. Geez, being a boyfriend can be so exhausting. But in the end, to have her like this was so worth it.

[Meanwhile: At Castle Five]

Over so long, with so much going on inside, the castle began to crumble in on itself. Fire of many different colors. Poisonous fumes. Bones of many sizes. Random boots and hammers. All sorts of crazy things break their way out of the stone fortress as the sun made its way across the sky. By the time all goes quiet, about 75% of the castle had caved in. The exit door was open, but if there were any onlookers they'd have no clue if it opened because of the damage or the people inside. Soon, however, two world famous brothers stampede out of there for their lives. The reasons for this make themselves known in a big way. One by one, the three dragons smash their way out of the ruined castle and give chase. Hooktail and Gloomtail take the sky, leaving Bonetail charging on the ground behind the Mario Brothers. All three take turns bellowing deadly breath attacks at the humans.

"This is madness!"

"How do-a we get out of this?!"

"The trees! Head into the trees and zigzag!"

They think this plan will work because of the massive sizes of the dragons. If you chase a mouse into bushes, you can't keep track of it because it's so small. This might have been a good plan to avoid the two in the air and maybe even the one still grounded. But they didn't take into account one of them having a really annoyingly strong sense of smell and a big mouth that told the others where they were.

"This is ridiculous!"

"We won't-a last long like this!"

"I don't-a want to die, Mario!"

"At this rate, they'll torch us and this jungle before-a they can get us! We need a distraction!"

"Oh yeah! Like-a someone is going to willingly come between us and these guys!"

"Then why not you-a come with some ideas instead-a of shooting down mine!"

"*roaring*"

"Not good! Not good! Not good!"

Mario is at a lost. Stamina for him was beginning to get low after all the fighting, lord knows how much Luigi has, but certainly not enough to carry his fat butt and outrun three pissed off dragons. Nothing short of a miracle, divine intervention, or sheer dumb luck was going save their souls now.

"*pain roars*"

"What on earth are you doing, you fool?!"

This made the brothers turn around to see what the commotion was all about. Seems fate spun the wheel of destiny and it landed on random dumb luck. For in the distance, the guardian Bone Dragon the boys had "befriended" was now coming up the rear of this chase and spitting fireballs at the trio. It appears a little kindness goes a long way and the Bone Dragon was in their debt.

This attack didn't go without consequences. The Trio, under this new bombardment, turned their attention to the Bone Dragon. A fairly even match, three dragons versus a three-headed dragon, simple really. Yet there was one flaw that gave the Trio the advantage...They can fly and go after each head at once.

"Holy cow..."

"We should-a help it."

"We couldn't even if we tried."

"But they'll kill it!"

"Okay, first off, it's already dead. Second, it chose to attack them. It's trying to save us. Let's not-a let its sacrifice be in vain. Because as soon as they beat it, they'll come back after us and even harder."

"B-But..."

Luigi was torn and Mario knew as well as anyone that his brother was softhearted. Even if it meant being killed, Luigi was the kind of guy to do the right thing, even if it was scary as hell. Mario puts his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Come on, Luigi. Let's-a go."

Luigi balled his fists and swallowed his nerves. Mario is right. He knows this. But it doesn't mean he has to like it.

"Okay."

Reluctantly, Luigi follows his brother and flees. The Bone Dragon put up a hell of a fight despite its disadvantages in speed and mobility. Between snapping bites, fireballs, and whippings of its tail, it gets in a few good shots before the tide of battle turns in favor of the Trio. Hooktail, being the smaller of the three, used its speed to disorientate the heads with impressive aerial maneuvers. Gloomtail, keeping at a close but out of range distance, uses its noxious poisonous fumes to weaken it to the point of crippling it the undead. And mighty Bonetail, the merciless elder, moves in close to deliver the devastating finishing blows and breaks the Bone Dragon's necks in its crushing jaws. And as soon as it all started it was over. The eerie otherworldly light in the Bone Dragon's eyes was extinguished. The beast is dead.

"Foolish idiot. Thinking it could take us on."

"Hush your tongue! It fought us honorably even though it knew it was outmatched. There is no shame in such nobility."

"Why do you think it turned on us?"

"A mystery we have no need to indulge in."

"Either way, it did have a reason for doing so."

"Seems that way. It allowed them to escape."

"Are you sure you don't smell them?"

"*deep sniffing* Nothing. The jungle is too thick and full of other smells. Their scent is in there, but it's mixed deeply with everything else."

"What is our next course of action, elder?"

"*growls* We bide our time. They are headed for the next castle, correct? Then we shall be waiting for them there."

"That's in the sky zone, right? Can we stop for a bite to eat first? I'm starving!"

"*chuckles* There are several villages occupying sky zone. It would be a shame to miss out on such a dining experience, wouldn't you agree?"

Bonetail grins.

"I spoil you two too much."

"I didn't hear a no."

"Today, we feast."

With that, the Trio takes flight, though Bonetail has a bit of trouble doing so since it hasn't flown in eons. They take off into the sky and leave the Mario Brothers for now. Speaking of the brothers...

"Do...Do you-a think it's okay?"

"For a skeleton? Eh...Probably. Heck, we might see it again on the way back."

"Can we...Can we keep it?"

"...Maybe."

"R-Really?!"

"Yeah, sure. Why not? Sure as heck would-a be easier to take care of than a Yoshi. A dragon that doesn't need to eat compared-a to a dinosaur that would eat us out of house and home. It's-a no brainer."

"Oooh...!"

Luigi hugs Mario tight.

"Thank you, Mario! You're-a the best!"

Mario blushes and pulls away embarrassed.

"Yeah yeah. You're-a welcome."

Luigi has a new peppy bounce in his step and one that doesn't sound like a silly noise either. Since they lost the dragons there was no point in wearing the badges. In fact, Luigi is in such a good mood, he gets a stroke of genius.

"Hey, Mario..."

"What?"

"The next castle is in sky zone, right?"

"Yep."

"And to go up-a there, we have to climb up-a a giant seed stalk, right?"

"Yeah...?"

"What-a if...Hear me-a out on this...What-a if we skip it?"

Mario's eyes widen.

"Can we...Can we even do-a that? Do-a we have a Warp Whistle? Is there a Warp Pipe around here?"

Mario sounded more eager than Luigi thought he would be at such news.

"Well...No. We don't-a have a whistle. But that over there looks promising."

Luigi points at a less than discrete sign with an all too familiar purple rabbit symbol pointing into some bushes and Mario just shakes his head.

"Really? Why-a not put up neon lights and air horns while-a he's at it."

Luigi goes over to the bush and moves it aside, revealing a very thin pipe.

"How far do you-a think it goes?"

"If we're lucky, and I doubt we are, then I'd like it if it pops us out right outside that-a lizard's castle."

"Heh...The look on his face would-a be priceless."

"That it would-a. Oh well...Here we go!"

Mario leaps onto the pipe and manages to get stuck.

"Oh, come on!"

"Here, let me try this."

Luigi climbs onto Mario's shoulders and jumps. The force of him pushing down on his brother is enough to shove the portly plumber down the rest of the way down.

"Oh, yeah! Here we goooo! Wheeee!

Luigi shoots down the pipe with ease and the adventure only continues from here on out. For them anyway. For in the air, gazing from a pair of binoculars, is a Lakitu with a Paragoomba on its head that's holding a walkie-talkie.

"What did you see?"

"Plenty. Best call it in."

"Understood."

It turns on the walkie-talkie.

"PG Scout #360 calling Base Commander. Come in base command...The Mario Brothers have escaped Castle Five and the dragon siblings are also loose. They appear to be heading for Castle Six. Mass casualties are presumed to be imminent. I repeat...The Mario Brothers have escaped Castle Five and the dragon siblings are also loose. They appear to be heading for Castle Six. Mass casualties are presumed to be imminent. Over."

There's a buzz on the other end before a click is made.

"PG Scout #360, this is Base Commando #630. We have received your report. Can you confirm where the targets are heading? Over."

"*whispers* Hey, did you see where they went?"

"*whispers* Looked like a Warp Pipe. No clue where it goes."

"*whispers* Gee, that's helpful. *normal* Sir, it would seem they found a Warp Pipe in the jungle. I am unable to tell you where it leads. Over."

"Are you able to confirm the interference of secondary target? Over."

"*whispers* Did you see Nabbit?"

"*whispers* Nope. But that is definitely his logo."

"Affirmative, sir. Target Nabbit has once more aided the Mario Brothers. Over."

"Understood. Oh! What is the status report on the forest fire? Over."

"Sir. The flames have been extinguished, sir. Over."

"Where reinforcements able to reach the castle? Over."

"Affirmative, sir. Wario and Waluigi engaged the Mario Brothers but were unsuccessful in defeating them. Over."

"Where are they now? Over."

"Other operatives report them heading away from the castle and into a near by town. Presumably to lick their wounds. Over."

"Understood. Go find them and report they are to head to Castle Seven ASAP. Over."

"Yes, sir. Any further orders, sir? Over."

"Negative, PG Scout #360. Proceed with the task at hand and continue to follow the targets. Over."

"Roger that. PG Scout #360 ending communication. Over"

The line goes back to dead buzzing and the Paragoomba leaps off of the Lakitu.

"Follow them down the pipe. I'll catch back up after I get those two morons."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

The Lakitu hurries after the Mario Brothers while the trail is fresh and the Paragoomba heads towards any of the neighboring villages. Hopeful it won't take long to find some loudmouth human jerks bragging about how awesome they are.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	28. Day five: Personal problems

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

{I stomp my unhappy ass down what seems like an endless hallway in chains and escorted by Toad guards pointing spears at my back. Seems my day of sentencing has finally arrived. I don't remember how long I've sat in that damn cell for, but it's been too long in my opinion. I could probably escape during this. It would be too difficult. Toads are so easily defeated even when armed. But the shackles pose a movement issue I might not be able to work with. Just when I work up the courage to strike, I'm blinded by the bright light and we come to enter a room. Once my eyes adjust to this light, I see the one person I can't stand. They are my judge, jury, and executioner. They rule over all kingdoms with an iron fist. They are...The Mighty, Empress Peach Toadstool. While she looks kind of like her usual princess self, she is different in some big ways. Her skin is darkly pale, her dress is black with white details, and she now wears a cloak with similar black with white details. Her crown and her jewelry take new shape and are red now. She also carries a more cruel and twisted expression.

"Ah, the traitorous little freak. Your time to grovel for your pathetic life has finally come."

This woman...She enslaved us all. Her and her heartless enforcers, the Mario Brothers. They strongly resemble how they normally look except they dressed in black jumpsuits that strangely retain their former overalls' large buttons. They also wear a bandanna around their neck in their respective red and green color. Their gloves, shoes, and belts are dark gray. Their caps are black and over their faces are a black mask which seems to effectively hide their murderous eyes; these masks make their eyes appear to glow white.

My poor King. Lord Bowser...Look at how they mock you now. Not only did they murder you and the children, but this house of horrors of a throne room is decorated with your shells, with Bowser's being her chair. It makes me sick. They killed my family. The ones I loved are gone. Nothing more than trophies and forgotten memories to them.

"Well? Out with it. I want to hear you beg."

"Kill me now, you heartless #%*&$. I have no reason to live when you took away that reason. So do it! Do your worst! I #%*&$ dare you!"

I'm then pummeled for my words by the brothers, all while her royal bitchiness gleefully enjoys the show.

"Now now, boys. Don't hurt her too much. If she dies now how will we be able to take pleasure in her screams?"

They back off and I growl from on the floor.

"I will see to it that the devil makes a special spot in hell just for you. You steaming pile of Yoshi #%*&$."

She sneers and stands up. Taking her time to slowly approach me.

"Filth like you is why I will cleanse this world. All those that refuse to bow will suffer."

"You're a monster."

"Would a monster try to make this world better than it was? I won't stop till I make the whole world peachy."

I want nothing more than to kill this woman. I want to reach out and strangle her. To watch the life fade from her eyes until there's nothing left. To make her an empty shell like she has done to my loved ones. But I can't move. I can only watch as she stands before me and then stabs her pointed heel into my side.

"Any last words before I end your miserable life?"

"Yeah...*spit* Go #%*&$ yourself!"

She kicks me in the face. Blood and teeth hit the floor.

"I am going to enjoy watching you die."

"Then do it! You already won. There's no point in having me rot in that cell. Kill me and let this be game over. Give me release and allow me to see my family again."

She aims to grab that deadly heel into my skull but just ends up tapping my forehead. I'm confused by this and her smirk is not making me feel better about staying alive.

"You know something...I've changed my mind. You don't get to die today."

My eyes widen.

"In fact...You are not allowed to die till I say you can."

She steps back and I'm seeing red with the levels of rage boiling in my veins.

"I hereby order this sad whelp to be reprogrammed into the most loyal follower. In fact...She'll be my best friend."

"Like hell I'll let you break me!"

"Good. Resist for as long as possible. It wouldn't be fun if you submitted to quickly."

No! No way in hell will I take this! It's now or never. As she takes a moment to have a gloating laugh I lunge at her, sinking my teeth into her ankle and she kicks at my face to let go. This triggers the Toad guards and spears pierce my back. I cough up blood and feel the warmth leaving my body.

"You fools! I didn't order you to kill her!"

"*sputtering laugh* Suck a bag of #%*&$ you #%*&$...See you all in hell...#%*&$..."

The lights are flickering in my eyes and everything is going dark. I can't hear voices anymore. I'm dying. Sweet release at last. I can see them now...I'm coming home.}

"*high gasp*"

I sit up in bed, shaking and sweating in panic. My heart is pounding like the stampede of a hundred horses. That dream...It was so vivid and real...A nightmare really. It's rare for something close to a nightmare to happen in my sleep, like 99.999% of the time it's just randomness. But that 00.001% is when the bad stuff happens. I guess it was just one of those times. I'll need a shower to wash this messed up feeling away. I just hope I didn't freak out in my sleep. I'd hate to have bugged Roy.

"Roy...How'd you sleep?"

Looking over, I feel silly because he's not there. But there is a note on the nightstand.

"Let's see what he wrote...Hey sugar, hope ya slept as well as I did. By the time ya read this, me and others will be puttin' on that show for the mushroom skank. You're more than welcome to come see but at the same time, ya don't have to unless ya want to. I know that #%*&$ ticks ya off, so I ain't gonna make ya be in the same room with her. Though if ya do come, I totally wanna see ya kick her butt. Not gonna lie, the idea of ya beatin' her up is really hot. *giggles* Oh my god, Roy. You can be such a dork. But at least that answers that."

So I have time to myself. Best use it and get my head together. I go to Roy's bathroom and hop my ass into the shower. With the water flowing and steam fogging the room, it sets the tone for some deep thinking. It's still hard for me to get over what Roy told me.

"We talked. He apologized. Mushy stuff happened. But he told me he'll back off and let us be together."

Why?

"He talked about how he can't help likin' ya, but yeah. He's gonna leave us alone."

Why did he give up so easily? I thought he loved me. I thought he cared. I thought I meant something to him. So why...Why didn't he put up a fight? He just surrendered like it was nothing. Damn him. Damn you, Bowser! Why did you do this to me? Why did you make me care if you were only going to toss me away?!

I stand under the water for a long time. Just thinking and trying to get myself into a mindset that I'd call normal. By the time I get out of that shower I'm a raisin of my former self. My head is still fogged with thoughts. I mean, I do care for Roy, no doubt. But his dad really messed with me like this. Now I have these feelings that I don't know what to do with and I'm supposed to just ignore them because he stooped? Argh! That stupid turtle-dragon! Driving me mad! I want to punch him in that handsome face of his so he can feel some of this! But who am I kidding? I can't hit him. I can make him feel guilty though and loom it over him while he tries to sway Peach. Yes! The evil plan is coming together nicely.

I get dressed and go to leave, only to be stopped when I open the door. There on the ground is my shell. I had forgotten that I left it elsewhere. Picking it up, I feel this sense of loss. Like it's missing something. I want to put it on, but I can't. It doesn't feel right. Not right now. I place it in the room and take my leave. I get a passing trooper to escort me to the castle's lounge area where this little shindig is taking place.

Sneaking into the back of the room, I lean on a wall and watch from the shadows. The children are on stage, singing, and dancing, putting on quite the elaborate show with high entertainment value. Of course, the only seated audience is placed at a fancy table in the center of the room. Bowser is all dressed up, not as flashy as when we crashed her birthday party, but still glamours enough to be impressive. Peach herself is as Princess looking as always. Not like anyone cares, especially me. Random servants bring them food and drink as if summoned by thought alone. This was all very well rehearsed if the timing of table to table service is this topnotch.

"Excuse me, miss?"

I look at the Buzzy Beetle tapping on my ankle for attention.

"Hmmm?"

"Would you be joining his lordship at the table?"

I shake my head no. I'm not in a mood to speak.

"Oh...Would you care to have something to eat then? There is far more than necessary."

I don't want to be rude, despite my mood of just wanting to be left alone, so I nod and follow him over to the table. The chef didn't lie when they said they were making only dishes that have Peachy Peaches in them. Fresh Juice, Fruit Parfait, Fruity Cake, Fruity Hamburger, Fruity Punch, Fruity Shroom, Heartful Cake, Peach Juice, Peach Tart, and Zess Dinners. I make a small plate of just a Fruity Hamburger and cup of Fresh Juice to wash it down with before returning to my shadowy wall spot. I feel like I'm back in school. I'm eating by myself and watching others have fun like I don't exist. I used to like this feeling. I used to like it because there was no one else in my life to be here with me. But that's not the case now. The man that took me in, opened his family and heart to me, is sitting with another woman waiting to propose to HER. The boy that is devoted to me, would fight his father and the world for me, is on stage with his siblings to entertain HER. The child that calls me Mama, the one who cares the most for me and I would die for if I have to, he will be calling HER Mom sooner or later. It hurts. It hurts so bad. Why? Why am I here? Why am I watching this? I should just go. I'm not needed for this. I'm not even hungry, I'm just eating to make the pain stop. This isn't right. I need to go.

"Lady Lynn..."

I flinch from my very depressing thoughts, nearly dropping my juice at the sudden voice.

"Are you alright?"

Oh...It's just you Boom Boom. I guess you and Pom Pom would be here since you both guard the pink pain. For a second I honestly thought it was one of the kids. That would've sucked so bad. They don't need to see me here.

"*weak* I'm fine."

Crap. My voice is all emotional. No way I'm getting out of this easily.

"You're upset, aren't you? And don't bother saying no. I'm not as smart as my sister, Pom, but I know enough that tears mean you're sad."

Wha...Have I really been crying? For how long? Damn it! Stop it! Stop being so broken! I hate it!

"Here...Let me just..."

He takes my empty plate and cup away to the trash. I slide my sorry butt down the wall till I'm huddled into myself to hide this shame. When he comes back I'm to busy wiping my tears onto my knees to notice him sit down beside me.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"*sad* No..."

"Oh...um...Do you, uh...Want a hug?"

"*sad* No..."

He pouts but stays quiet for a bit. I try to calm myself down. The tears are having trouble shutting off. He doesn't like see this scene play out. Knowing his boss, Roy, is unable to do something at the moment and that he'd be in huge trouble for allowing the boss's lady to be miserable without doing anything, Boom makes an equally hard call on what to do that he hopes won't be seen as something else. He carefully drapes his arm around my shoulders and rubs my arm reassuringly. I don't move a muscle and silently thank him for not just letting me sulk. In time he switches this comfort up from just rubbing my arm to stroking the back of my head. As silly as it sounds, I like being petted. It feels nice.

"Thank you, Boom."

"Think nothing of it, Lady Lynn. Master Roy would shuck my shell if he knew I saw you like this and did nothing to help."

"If he sees you being too friendly he might still do that."

"That's why I'm not only touching your arm. Head petting isn't such a big deal."

"You best hope Roy thinks that."

"Believe me, I am."

I chuckle a little and he smiles.

"So..."

"No, I'm not going to say why I was upset."

"I wasn't going to ask."

"Oh..."

"I was going to say you have a cute smile."

I blush a little.

"Thanks. But please, I'm really not in the mood to be flirted with."

He blushes with wide eyes.

"Y-You thought I was flirting?"

I tilt my head.

"You weren't?"

"N-No. You're with Master Roy. You're off limits. To flirt with you would be suicide."

"So you don't want me to keep your phone number?"

"I didn't say that. But...*nervous* D-Don't tell anybody about that. Please?"

"I figured that much. But I'm just sort of used to everyone kind of flirting with me at this point."

"Well, can you really blame us?"

I am confused and he leans his head back on the wall, his petting never ceasing.

"We...Us Koopa I mean...We don't have to best history with humans. Humans aren't something that was normally around in our neck of the woods if you get my meaning. So when they started popping up and trying to take stuff that wasn't theirs, your kind came off on the wrong of first impressions."

"Yeah. I've been learning more about the human encroachment since being here. I had no clue how invasive humanity had been over the ages."

"And the only real interactions we Koopa have is with the jerks of the Mushroom Kingdom. So when a sweet thing like you comes along and treats us Koopa right...Is it any wonder why we try to keep a girl like you's attention?"

"I guess I see your point."

I look out at my loved ones.

"As down as I am right now, I at least can smile knowing I'm better than her. But..."

"But?"

"It doesn't change anything."

I sulk into myself and Boom frowns. Helping me is harder than he thought. But he won't stop trying.

Bowser at his table is having a lukewarm level of enjoyment. The food is good. The show is captivating. Everything is fine...except the company he's keeping beside him. Peach was given the ability to sit here unrestrained, but the boy was her regretting it. The normally cold and distant Princess was being suspiciously charming. Her mood was cheerful, her voice was chipper, and some of the words or actions were flirtatious. She was behaving in ways he had always wanted her to be when around him. But he didn't like it. The wool cover had been removed from his eyes and he got to know what real care was from someone that did truly feel for him. Peach's little act, such false feelings were not going to work on him. The bad thing about this was the guilt making his heart hurt. The tiny part of him that still cared for Peach was enjoying this and it was making him sick. Why was he still doing this? Why put up with this torture? Maybe this was his conscience's way of making him understand what he had been doing. Trying to bide for affection for Peach for so long only to now be repelled by it. A most perfect punishment indeed. Thank the stars that his spitfire wasn't here to see any of this crap.

"You've been awfully quiet, Bowser. Don't tell me you're not enjoying this little shindig you so made in my honor."

"I'm fine, Peach. Just enjoying the mood."

"I bet. Such finery is something I adore. This food? Delicious. The kids? So cute. And you? Why I don't think I've ever seen you look so good."

Her hands feel his arm and he tenses up uncomfortably.

"My...I never realized just how big your muscles were."

He merely rolls his eyes.

"Are you flexing?"

"No."

"*wolf whistle* Very impressive."

"Have you no shame? Did you already forget about Mario?

"Mario could never give me all that you can. Maybe I see now that it takes a King to make a Princess into a Queen after all~."

"Spare me your false praise. It's not as flawless as you think."

She is surprised but tries to play cool.

"False praise? Foolish Koopa, has that little tart filled your ears with..."

"Do not..."

Bowser snarls harshly.

"Do not speak of your better as if you stand above her."

Her little facade breaks for a moment.

"Excuse you? That girl is beneath me."

Bowser digs his claws into the table and gets in her face.

"*hushed* Listen here, you self-centered gussied up poodle. YOU don't get to speak about HER. HER name is to never escape YOUR mouth. That woman is a goddess and you are a speck in comparison."

Peach is positively livid from such declaration. But before any words escape her, something far more wicked come to her mind and she smiles coyly.

"A goddess you say? *giggle* You must care a great deal for that girl if you speak so strongly of her. Funny...I don't think I've seen her since you had me brought here. In fact..."

Her confidence made her voice even more snide.

"If you truly care for this girl, dare I say, even love her...Then, why are you here with me? Trying to grader my favor? Buttering me up with splendor and quite amusing displays? One would think you and her are not pair-bonded since you seek another, more desirable, lady's affection. But that would be silly...unless..."

Her innocent tone does little to hide the venom dripping from her malicious tongue.

"She doesn't love you back, does she? You want her and despite all that you can do, you can't get the girl you long for? *laughs* Oh this is rich."

Bowser wants nothing more than to slam this pig of a woman's face into the table. But he can't. He mustn't show any emotion to this woman. He mustn't allow her any possible way to worm deeper into his soul.

"The might Koopa King strikes out once again on finding love. Oh, the irony is so delicious it puts the food to shame. *mocking laughter*"

Bowser grins.

"I wouldn't be so quick to laugh."

She pauses.

"Oh? And why do you say that?"

"Because she is my first choice to marry. So what do you think that makes you?"

It takes a bit for the realization to hit Peach. But when it does, she stands from her seat and slaps him hard.

"How dare you! I am Princess Peach Toadstool! Ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom! I am no body's second choice! And I will be damn if I'll let you be the first, you miserable pile of...!"

"Hey!"

The sound of another female voice seems to make their blood run cold.

"Touch him again and it will be the last thing you do."

Turning around, they spy the thought absent girl sitting on the floor along the back wall with Boom Boom. Her eyes are bloodshot, the signs of sorrow very telling in those eyes, and she's glaring swords at Peach with levels of hate he had never seen before. Honestly, his spine was trembling under the confines of his shell from the look she had. But of course, Peach didn't listen to such warnings like a sane person would. Instead, she snubbed her nose up the disturbed girl.

"Like you would even..."

The low rumble that reverberates through the room is ominous.

"*deadly* Sit down."

Peach, for once, falters in her demeanor. No witty comeback leaves her. No fight is made. She simply and smartly sits back down in her chair. Bowser is amazed. Peach rarely backs down and never for his spitfire as the two bring out the fight in each other. But not this time. Something in those hate filled eyes broke her defenses and made her yield. At least for that, the King was grateful.

"Hey, grunt! Get your filthy claws off my sugar!"

Another thing that was Bowser was, for once, also grateful for was Roy's possessiveness breaking the rage that consumed Lynsie. The Boom Boom sitting beside immediately flings his arms into the air in submission to Roy's demand, yet it's not good enough. Roy leaps off the stage and storms over to the girl, making the Boom Boom flee.

"Sugar? Ya okay?"

She smiles softly.

"Yeah, tough guy, I'm okay. Boom was just keeping me company and cheering me up."

"Cheering ya up? Did somethin' happen?"

"Just...I had a bad dream."

He pouts and pulls the girl into his arms.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could've been there when ya needed me."

She embraces him in return.

"I know, sweetie. But it's fine. No bad dream can beat me up when I got you and your epic hugs."

The pair shares a laugh as Roy nuzzles kisses into her cheek and Bowser's heart aches at the sight.

"Come on, Roy. We still have one more number to get through and then you can do whatever you want. So get your scaly hide back up here."

Kamek is not pleased by the sudden pause of things after they've been running so smoothly.

"I gotta go for a moment, babe."

"I know. You finish up here and then we can chill."

"Heh...That's my girl. Listen...I have a little surprise for ya later. But ya gotta promise me not to make a big deal out it. Okay?"

"Roy. My dude. Do you really have to ask me such a thing?"

"Just makin' sure, sweet cheeks."

He gives her a kiss before heading back to the stage. The girl stays seated on the floor but is now in much better appearing spirits than the negative aura she had before. However, Peach seems to have taken this scene that has played out to be rather informative on the dynamic of things.

"Now it all makes sense..."

This wasn't going to end well.

"It's not that she doesn't love you back, if that even is the case...It's that she is already involved with Roy. Oh deary me, to be in such a predicament as to in emotional conflict with one's own child for the affections of his girlfriend? You really are quite the mess, Bowser. Even more so than I first thought. And trust me, I believed you to be a huge pile of shattered dreams before. This is now the icing on top of the sad cake."

"*sighs* I hate you so much right now..."

"What?"

"Just shut up and watch the kids. They worked hard for this last bit."

That gets her attention, so she decides to humor him as the room goes dark and the lights hit the stage while the music begins to play. This was going to be so damn awkward now knowing Lynsie was here.

" _Got it going on, got that love that won't quit. I feel so guilty, people think I'm hitting it. But they don't know. Ain't got a clue. Just how much I want to worship you. All the time I'm out there beating guys, I'm thinking about your big blue eyes. I'm trying to be worth your time. Because your radiance will strike me blind. You're a damsel in delight. A mighty pretty sight. But girl you know tonight, I'm gonna treat you right. No pressure on my side. Don't worry about my pride. I'm sorry that your hands are tied. Well, excuse me, Princess. Can I get a witness? You're so ambitious. I respect you, girl. You can settle down with this. Maybe someday kiss this. Want you to notice me, hopefully, totally. Gotta mind my business. Cause girl what is this? Never meant to bring you any kind of pain or distress. You mean the world to me. Girl let's be, mutually, lovingly. Slow with this..._ "

Bowser tries to keep his eyes forward on his performing brood but the stares boring holes into his thick skull aren't helping. To his right, Peach is a flustered mess that is glaring as hard as she was blushing. And behind him, Lynsie was probably more confused he had the children singing this about all else.

" _Got it where it counts, a loving heart in this chest. But you keep acting like I don't know what's best. You're a woman and I'm a Koopa. Yet that's what makes our love more super. I am the greatest, I am a King. My power's the purest, but I need just one thing. Storm your land, spread some fear. Because you're the only one that I want, dear. You're a damsel in delight. A mighty pretty sight. But girl you know tonight, I'm gonna treat you right. No pressure on my side. Don't worry about my pride. I'm sorry that your hands are tied. Well, excuse me, Princess. Can I get a witness? You're so ambitious. I respect you, girl. You can settle down with this. Maybe someday kiss this. Want you to notice me, hopefully, marry me...?_ "

The music stops and a spotlight shines on the tabled pair. Peach is baffled until Bowser pulls out a box. Opening it, her eyes widen at the ring the box holds. She looks up at Bowser, his face is a mixture of 'please say yes' and 'if you say yes then no one will be happy'.

"Peach...Will you marry me?"

"You...You can't be serious."

"I am."

"But...But you...I...I don't understand..."

"What's there to understand? I am a King. I need a Queen. These lands have been in conflict for far too long. So what say you? Do you want to remain the Princess of a land of simple Toads where the only men that try for your hand are men that can't hold a job or rise above being plumbers? Or will you become the Queen of many lands and become the embodiment of peace between our warring people? So again, I'll ask..."

Bowser leaves his seat and gets down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

Peach's lower lip trembles till she bites it still. She knows nothing else can ever come close to this if she says no. Mario is not a Prince and definitely not a King. There aren't many male royals out there to begin with...At least, those in her age range or even her same species.

Mallow, the Nimbus Prince and heir to the Nimbus Land crown. He is the biological son of Queen Nimbus and King Nimbus and the adoptive grandson of Frogfucius, the sagacious frog. He suffered from low self-esteem and was a bit of a crybaby at times in his early life, however as he journeyed, he built up his courage and proved himself to be a levelheaded when times were tough. He isn't especially strong physically and becomes very emotional at times; however, he has a strong command of magic, including the ability to heal. All of his special attacks are weather-based.

Prince Peasley is the beanish prince, as he is the son of Queen Bean, and hero of the Beanbean Kingdom. Although he is a heroic adventurer, he has a habit of flaunting both his hair and his smile. He is really friendly, cheerful, brave, and always up for a challenge, however, he does have a tendency to underestimate others. He is also highly narcissistic and his vanity can be very off-putting over long periods of time. But when push comes to shove he does whatever he can to help his friends.

Prince Pine is the prince of Jewelry Land and the son of King Fret, both of whom are human. He is a calm and collected youth, perfectly fine with tending to his Kingdom or it's people, whoever is in need really. Pine and his father keep watch over the twelve magical jewels that unite Jewelry Land. Disturbing these jewels would be devastating, literally splitting the kingdom in half by creating a Light Realm and a Dark Realm.

Prince Dreambert, the prince of the Pi'illo people. He is the heir to the throne of Pi'illo Castle of the Pi'illo Kingdom. He has an overall calm personality. However, he can get serious when the times is called for. He also has a strong sense of pride and is prone to great anger if mocked. But his dedication to the safety of his people is without question and when danger rears its ugly head, it is he that is first to head the call and stand to challenge the threat without fear or mercy.

King Sammer V, the leader of the Sammer Guys and relative of the 100 Sammer Guys. King Sammer V is the fifth King Sammer in existence and took over his great-great grandfather's role of ruling over the Sammer's Kingdom to guard the seventh Pure Hearts.

The Seven Human Kings that rule over various lands of the Mushroom World. They are the lesser monarchs of the various zones and have Toad helpers much like Peach does. There is the Grass Land King, Desert Land King, Water Land King, Giant Land King, Sky Land King, Ice Land King, and Pipe Land King

The less fancy royals are well known for being on the more despised outside of their own Kingdoms. Whomp King, the king of all the Whomps. He resides in Whomp's Fortress and as such is a member of the Koopa Troop. King Boo is the leader of the Boos and all other ghosts, ruler of the Paranormal Dimension. King Bob-omb, is the king of the Bob-ombs and takes pride in his royal status. Goomboss, also known as the Goomba King, rules over the Goombas or at least a good number of them, but his title was given to him by Bowser by use of the Star Rod, so it's anyone's guess of his legitimacy. And of course, King Bowser Koopa, lord of the Koopas and evil magical ruler of Dark Land.

Oh...But if only the stories her mother told her were true. She'd so choose to be with the gorgeous and perfect Prince Haru, the prince of an unknown land called Flower-koku. The stories would have her captivated and she dreamed of being his bride. In one of those stories, it was said that Prince Haru possessed a very special gemstone that was split into twin jewels. These treasured gems were said to be destined by fate to always reunite and their owners would end up being each other's one true love. Her mother would tell her that her brooch was one half of this fabled pair and that one day, the owner of the second identical gemstone will come to sweep her off her feet.

But...That day never came. And here she is now. Being proposed to by someone that she is in no way attracted to and not of the same race as herself. What is a Princess truly to do in moments like this?

"No."

The room hushes like death entered the area.

"Come again?"

"I said, no. I will not marry you."

Bowser frowns but that turns to scowl rather quickly.

"You say no like you believe you have the option of saying it."

"I do. Just because you've kidnapped me, doesn't mean I have to play along with this garbage."

A servant drops a plate in shock. The shattering porcelain fitting in well with how everyone feels.

"Peach...I ask that you hold your tongue."

"I most certainly will not. I am above you, you sniveling creature. You may have a title, land, and wealth, but you are not a King to me."

"My clan has ruled these lands before your ancestors ever dreamed of setting foot on this dirt. The way I see it, you are the one with the false title, Princess."

"How dare you!"

"And if you want to keep that crown of yours, you will say yes to me twice. Once here and once more at the altar of our marriage ceremony."

"Like hell I'd ever marry you! Look at you. You're pathetic! The day I marry you is the day Mario dies."

"That can be arranged."

She slaps him much harder than before and he drops the ring. Peach is now fuming in her fury.

"You are without any doubt, a rogue, a rascal, a villain, a thief, a scoundrel, and a mean, dirty, stinking, sniveling, sneaking, pocket-picking, thrice double-damned no-good son of a...!"

Peach doesn't get to finish her little rant. Her head slams into her plate of food and breaks.

"*hateful*I warned you. Touch him again..."

I pick up her dining knife and take aim while her frazzled eyes panic upon seeing me.

"And it will be the last thing you do!"

She screams as I bring the knife down, but it goes into the table instead of her like I wanted. The reason for this lack of dead Peach is thanks to Bowser, who at the last second got up and pushed my hand.

"That is enough, Lynsie. You defended your King. You did good. Now...Let go of the knife."

I want to. I want to stop shaking. But all I see while looking at her is that Empress that took everyone from me. I have to stop this nightmare. I can't let it happen again. I won't lose them. I won't lose them!

"Spitfire..."

He moves behind me and laces his hand in my own to make me let the weapon go.

"Thank you."

His hands and soft voice cease my shaking, but my hate is still begging to be allowed. I swallow a broken breathe and do my best to keep my eyes dry. I want her dead. I want to never suffer that nightmare again. But for his sake, my King, I opt to let out my feelings in a more controlled way after taking a breather.

"*calm* Well, excuse me, Princess. Can I get a witness? You're so obnoxious. I detest you, girl..."

The kids pick up on my little wordplay and roll with it while Pom Pom and Boom Boom re-restrain the Princess.

" _You could've settled down with this. Maybe someday kiss this. Don't want you to notice me, honestly, totally. Gonna mind my business. Cause girl what is this? Never meant to bring you any type of love or show of interest. You mean nothing to me. Girl let's be, mutually, brutally. Nope with all this..._ "

The lights come on and they yank Peach from her chair.

"Argh...Unhand me, you coldblooded clods!"

"Peach..."

Bowser's voice is cold and hard as steel.

"You are the ugliest creature this world has ever known."

Her face goes red and she opens her mouth ready to scream all sorts of things, but I don't give her the chance as I stuff her face with napkins.

"I think you've said enough."

"*muffled anger*"

"I agree. You two, make sure she gets to her room. And I don't care how you do so either."

Hearing this, Peach thrashes in their hold to no avail. She might be strong in magic, but when it comes to physical strength, Peach lacks a lot of muscle. And that's something Koopas come with standard.

"Yo grunts..."

Roy approach followed by the other seven.

"Make sure she knows what it means to disrespect the Koopa Clan."

She spits the napkins out.

"Are you accusing me of Lèse-majesté?"

"Very much so."

"You're all fools! Mario will come and beat you all like he always does!"

Jr. makes a quick motion with his hands that go unnoticed by all except Kamek.

"You think Mario is able to beat me now? Heh...Woman, you have no idea what I'm capable of."

"Bowser!"

All eyes turn to look at the stage from where the Italian-accented voice came from. There on the stage, the man in red and hero to the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario stands proud like he's ready to do battle. Where the hell did he come from?

"Mario!"

Her joyous voice rings out with all the sweetness she's withheld from all of us.

"Bowser, this is a new low, even for you-a. Using a girl in your-a plan? A plan this maniacal, this cunning...this could only be the work of someone so wicked."

"Skip the flattery, small fry. It won't work here."

Bowser is unusually calm for being confronted with his enemy. Hell, even the kids are rather chill about all this too. Am I missing something? Because if I were them, I'd be attacking right now.

"You're-a not-a gonna get away with this, not as long as I'm around!"

"Funny you'd say that..."

Bowser snaps his fingers and in the blink of an eye, an anvil lands on top of Mario with a sickening thud. Peach, understandably, freaks out.

"You monster! You killed him!"

Bowser sneers.

"Of course I did. What did you think I was going to do? Invite him for tea and cake?"

"But you killed him!"

"Your point would be?"

I don't think I've ever heard Bowser sound so cold. But it does bring up a question...I heard the brothers were together on this mission, so where is Luigi? We can't be assured that we have victory as long as one brother is still alive.

"Oh no..."

A timider Italian-accented voice is heard and Luigi comes out to inspect the anvil. Either that is amazing timing or someone is reading my mind to make this shit happen.

"Ha! Luigi will save me! Luigi!"

Luigi looks over at us as Bowser snaps his fingers again and he is crushed the same as his brother was. Peach is paler than me at this point.

"And don't go thinking Wario or Waluigi will come next. They work for me and I pay them better than you can bribe them."

All hope fades from Peach. It's like when you get a new sponge and you can tell it's new, bright and full of life. And then after a really bad mess, you wring it out and it's about to fall apart dead in your hands. That's what she looks like to me. Like dried out frail sponge ready to be thrown away. Could this really be the same woman in my nightmare?

"Take her away. The wedding will go on as planned."

She doesn't put up any fight. They practically have to drag her away because she is too dead on her feet to make her own body move. She's broken. Her will is broken. Her hope is destroyed. She is an empty shell of her former self. Once she's gone, I feel okay with asking questions, but I don't get to.

"Okay, Doopliss. That was perfect."

I am made even more confused as Luigi slips out from under the anvil and transforms into this little Duplighost. Doopliss is, in his regular appearance, a Duplighost who wears a blue bow tie and a blue cone-shaped hat with red stars on it. He has red pupils in his black eyes and, while I don't know if this is true for all Duplighosts, Doopliss is most likely undead. I surmise this from his apparent lack of taking damage from being crushed by anvils.

"How do you like them skills? There isn't nobody out there that can do a better Mario impression than ME."

"That's why you were hired for this."

Kamek pays Doopliss with a sack of coins.

"Luigi wasn't supposed to have any lines. You're lucky your little improvisation didn't mess this up."

"Yuk yuk yuk! Now that's the MAGIC behind my amazing acting! I'm a dang genius on stage! But...Let's not mention how I was involved with this. I got a sweet career going and I don't want Flurrie upstaging me by hanging this over my head."

"Confidentiality is fine. You may go now."

"Alright. Later, Slick. Pleasure doing business."

Kamek escorts Doopliss out and I am so confused.

"Mama!"

Jr. glomps my legs.

"You were scary, Mama."

I frown and pick up the boy.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Mama just...I lost control. I'm so sorry."

I hide my face my face in Jr.'s shoulder. My behavior this day has been all over the place. I'm ashamed of myself for the actions I did and yet part of me was upset I didn't get to finish her. This disgusts me. I feel Bowser's hand on my back for a moment before it hesitantly pulls away. This must be so hard on him. To have done all this, to put up with her, and now I'm adding to it with my own pitiful self yet he can't even help me as much as he wants to. He gave his word, he wasn't going to seek me out as long as Roy was trying. And Roy is trying. He's the one that whispers gentle words softly in my ear. He's the one planting small kisses on my shoulder. He's the one...with his hand in my back pocket and copping a sneaky feel of me. Okay, I'm over feeling down. I need to be normal to deal with this.

"There's no coin back there, Roy. So you can take your hand out, please."

Roy snickers until Jr. bops him for me.

"Knock it off, squirt!"

"Mama said stop. You listen to Mama."

"Thank you, dear. Now...Can someone explain to me just what happened here?"

"You first, Lynsie. It's not every day we see you attempt to stab Peach."

Great...Well...I guess I have some explaining to do.

[Meanwhile: Outside Castle Seven]

Dark Land is where the Mario Brothers wish they had popped up in when they took that Warp Pipe. But being able to get near the border isn't so bad. The mountainous Rock Zone borders the Koopa Kingdom like a craggy impregnable defensive wall. However, there are designated spots where the weak points in this wall were converted into ports of travel. But if one were to try to bypass these ports then those unlucky souls would be forever lost in the land's haunted forest. But one port is not to be taken by the faint of heart. It is the only one where there is no toll and provides the shortest road leading to the main path into the heart of the Kingdom. Yet there's a catch...

This port is filled with obstacles and traps, as well as being full of guards with the sole mission of keeping others from getting in. There are tons of Spikes, Fuzzies, Porcupuffers, Dai Gorō, Bony Beetles, Chain Chomps, Big Chain Chomps, Chain Chawfuls, Bob-ombs, Fire Bars, Grinders, and Sumo Bros. That's just the guards, all the guns are just extra overkill. Bullet Bills, Banzai Bills, Bombshell Bills, Gold Bullet Bills, Mad Bullet Bills, Sniper Bills, Torpedo Teds, Missile Bills, Bill Blasters, and King Bills. This port is Castle Seven and it is a beast of a fortress. Yet, here the Mario Brothers stand at the ready.

"Man...I hate this place."

"You-a just know Bowser's upgraded this."

"I'm gonna hate it more. I get it."

"Who do you-a think the boss will be?"

"Don't-a know and don't-a care. All we have to do is get through this one and then we kick serious Koopa shell."

"Yeah. We've been through a lot. No way this is worse than the last castle. I mean really...We lived after facing the Dragon Trio. Whatever's in this place can't compete with them."

"Let's get this over with before some random thing makes this a lot more annoying than it has to be."

The brothers enter the foreboding castle but they are far from unnoticed. Lakitu had followed them and now he had some very interesting information. This requires an immediate alert. It flies quickly over to one of the other ports to report his findings. Things were about to go from crazy to insanity real quick.

* * *

 **Shoutout to the group Big Bad Bosses (B3) and their song "Princess" for inspiring this scene. In case you're curious, B3 is a video game villain boy band featuring Bowser, Sephiroth, Ganondorf, and Robotnic. I highly recommend you give them a shot and you might even recognize who does their voices. Here's a link to their setlist.** **I hope you enjoy them and they might make a second album.**

 **youtube playlist?list=PLx6GleNkyUhgS5XXXd_jekiWHVp4Bnq1D (there's a space because ffnet doesn't post links and it'll mess up otherwise)**

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	29. Afternoon five: regrettable moments

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^ (So I've thought about where I'm placing this story in the grand scheme of the Mario timeline and I believe I've picked a good spot. I've decided that this story will take place before Mario+Rabbids and Odyssey, setting things up to correspond with both those games in a way that'll make sense...I hope.)**

* * *

Kamek cleared some of the random air of "what the fuck just happened" that went down. Apparently, as a backup to this crazy plot to propose to Peach thing, they hired Doopliss the Duplighost. A Duplighost is a very odd entity. They are very gifted in enchantments and hexes, magic seemingly makes up their being. Their major ability is to transform into different people. By doing this, they can actually steal the real person's look and name, leaving them as shadows of who they once were. When they assume the victim's form, the victim is unable to tell anyone their real name. It is said that these specters can only truly become the person they've duplicated by defeating the original one, but no one really knows for sure. This is not always the case, as some Duplighosts can transform into others without them losing their own form. This ability is commonly attributed to all Duplighosts. Even weirder is the odd source of where their power lies, and that would be their names. A Duplighosts magic is broken by telling them their true name. It's stated that there always has to be at least one being knowing a Duplighosts true name; otherwise, they cannot exist. Why this is no one knows. But from the way this one was used in this staged "death" scene, I can tell why they hired him. A Duplighost capable of mimicking the Mario Brothers and then being able to fake their deaths is a genius move in mentally crushing Peach. It will be very hard for her to not surrender to Bowser now, now that she believes there is no hope of rescue coming to her aid. This interestingly creative move all but assures success for the great Koopa King.

Speaking of mental states that Peach is involved in...I had made quite the scene. I had attempted to kill a Princess. I was going to take a knife and plunge it into her with no regret or remorse. I owed a reason for my actions. And I told the reason as best I could. I tried to say what happened in the nightmare but with less detail. But it's hard to not show what happened was far worse than I say when I start to shake or my voice cracks and I fight not to cry. The kids keep me calm for the most part. But after a bit, Bowser allows me to have a break to get back to normal. I refused and stated I was fine, yet it's hard to fight back when I was just about to stab Peach. So here I am in the lounge and trying to clear my head. But I'm far from alone. The kids go about their own fun, though Jr. and Roy keep close. And by that, I mean, I've got Jr. on my back as Roy has me lay across his chest as he lays on the sofa. Bowser too is here and watching over things. I asked why and he just said he had nothing better to do after the whole proposal thing. I'm fine with it though. He needs to spend more time with the kids anyway. It's important to make strong bonds with your children. Even if they're not entirely yours.

"Ya okay there, sugar?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Ya had this thousand mile stare goin' on. Wasn't sure if ya were zonin' out or stuck in a bad thought."

"Just emptying my head, dear."

"Ya know, you can take a snooze on me if ya want. I don't mind bein' your pillow."

"I know. And it's sweet of you to offer."

"Mama, don't go to sleep. I want to spend time with you."

Jr. tugs on my hair. It's been a while since he last did that. Still stings just the same.

"I didn't say I was, sweetie. I'm just trying to relax."

"Haven't you relaxed enough? How long do you need to?"

He bounces on my back and I'm starting to regret not putting on my shell.

"Hey squirt, come here. I got a mission for ya."

I cock my brow at Roy and Jr. shakes his head.

"Nope. I'm not moving. I'm staying with Mama."

"Not even if it's for her?"

I'm now even more curious and Jr. looks at him funny.

"Is this a trick?"

"Nah. I'm not gonna trick ya. Now come here. I gotta whisper it so she doesn't hear it."

"Why?"

"Because it's a top-secret mission. That's why."

Roy is up to something, that much I know. What exactly that is, I have no clue. But Jr. ends up taking this bait of his and slips off me. He moves over to Roy and the big lug mutters something to his younger brother that has the boy snickering.

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothin', sugar. Don't worry about it."

"Yeah. No worries, Mama."

Jr. walks away and actually leaves the room, which has me very confused.

"There...That outta buy ya some time without the squirt buggin' ya."

"Roy? What did you do?"

He smirks and pets my head.

"I told the runt that if he wanted ya to feel better than he needed to get ya your favorite thing to eat or drink."

"But...He doesn't know what that is. None of you do. I don't even have a favorite anything."

"Exactly."

"...You're an evil genius."

"Ya say that like that's somethin' new."

I giggle and nuzzle him a bit.

"Now take it easy, sweetheart. No stupid Peach is gonna mess with ya while I'm around."

"Thank you, Roy..."

I kiss his snout.

"You're my hero."

He smiles and continues to pet me, moving his hand down my back to get me purring. Roy really isn't all that bad as a boyfriend. He's sweet, protective, and very affectionate that sometimes borders on overly bold. Yet he has these sweet moments I can't help but indulge in. Maybe that alone time at Bubblaine will do us some good. Not that he would mind. I get the feeling he'd love to see me in a swimsuit. Crap, I don't even have a swimsuit. Double crap, what if he wants to get me one as a surprise? What if it's a bikini? I can't rock a bikini, my shyness and self-consciousnesses won't let me. No, no, no! This isn't good. This isn't good at all.

Roy watched as the gears in her began turning in their odd little way. He often wondered what went on in that head of hers. How often did she think of him? Was it as much as he did of her? Were her thoughts as interesting as his? Probably not in the same way as his. And boy, his thoughts, they were not meant to leave his head. But who knows. Maybe one day they could leave is mind if she allowed them to. Because if he played these boyfriend cards right, he'd be able to really enjoy the perks of having her.

From afar, Ludwig watches the scene and sighs to himself. He had been pinning over the girl for the longest time, but the recent events have burst his hopeful bubble. He had even gone out of his way to write a song that would convey his feelings. Yet now such an effort seems to be in vain. Even Morton, who had been very clingy in the beginning to the girl, has since let things go the way that the course seemed to be playing out because he too failed to make a stronger claim. Now he just watches like a wolf scouting deer, sure he can come in and take her, but it's far better to strike at the best moment, like when the big buck does something to push doe away. To that, Ludwig had to give Morton credit. Morton is not known for being smart, yet even he had these moments that surprised the group. But still, Ludwig put his heart into the piece and it would be a shame if such art went wasted. He just needed to wait for the right time, the right opportunity, to present it to her and let it speak that which he couldn't.

Bowser glances at the pair from time to time. It was weird for him to envy his son at this moment. They looked so cozy. He could easily see himself in Roy's place, being all chill with her laying on him. Wouldn't be the first time though, all those sleepy cuddles were now haunting him mockingly. How he wanted that back. Those moments with her. The tenderness. The kindness. The pure loving care. He longed for that to be his once more. But he meant those words he told Roy. He wasn't going to pursue her so long as Roy was trying. Yet as it would seem and he'd hate to admit, Roy was in the very least trying to hold her favor in this courtship. Whether or not she is really into him or simply humoring the boy till he loses interest is unknown to him, but knowing her, he has doubts on the latter guess. Still, with this wedding nonsense now drawing near, it was going to be far harder to say "I do" to a woman he at this point wanted to chuck into the nearest lava pit. Marrying Peach...The idea now fills him with dread. The second the vows are said and ring seals the deal, she's being put out of all of their misery.

"King dad..."

"Oh, yes, Morton?"

"Do we have to call the Peach lady 'mom'?"

Bowser scoffs.

"Oh god, no. No. Just so much no on that."

"Then what do we call her?"

Larry chimes in.

"Call her whatever you like. It doesn't matter. She won't be here much longer for it to mean anything."

"What does that mean?"

Wendy asks.

"What it means is..."

"You intend to kill her once the wedding is done, don't you?"

Iggy was always the smart one of the bunch. Bowser merely shrugs.

"Peach isn't really 'Queen' material. And I think we all know I can do better."

"Like Lynn mom?"

Bowser's cheeks faintly light up with color and he felt there was no point to denying things.

"Yeah. Someone like her would be nice. Totally would make her my queen."

"Then why don't you?"

Ludwig spoke and by the look on his face, he hadn't meant to voice that thought aloud. Oddly enough, while Roy was able to hear what was said, Lynsie was lost in her thoughts to the point she wasn't really there and heard nothing.

"Ya wanna repeat that again, bro?"

Ludwig decides to make a choice, either he can keep his mouth shut or throw caution to the wind. He chooses the latter.

"I said, why shouldn't our father marry the maiden. Him and her would make a better pair than her and you."

Roy growls.

"What?!"

This gets the girl's attention.

"What's happening?"

"Nothin' sugar. Ya just stay put while I kick the shell out of this annoyin' nerd."

"Wait, what?"

Bowser intervenes.

"There will be no shell kicking of any kind."

She takes this opportunity to remove herself from Roy as the boy himself got up and Jr. returned to the room empty-handed.

"Like shell I'm gonna let that slide! Ya got somethin' to say, bro? Then say it to my face."

"Roy, dear, calm down."

Ludwig scoffs.

"Please. I have nothing to say to you. Her, on the other hand..."

"Kids, knock it off. Don't you think there's been enough going on today? A fight isn't happening on my watch."

"Father, I have no intentions of fighting."

"*scoff* Speak for your self, dork."

"I am, you imbecilic scoundrel."

Roy snarls and takes a step till her hands hold his arm in restraint.

"You promised...No more fighting."

"But..."

"Please..."

Roy huffs a few times before sighing.

"This. This is why you're good for me. Ya keep me from doin' dumb stuff."

"I try, dear."

Roy puts his arm around her and starts walking her off with the girl.

"Where are you two going?"

Roy just smirks at his father.

"To my room. I've got somethin' special to give my sugar. Ya got a problem with that, pops?"

Bowser didn't like hearing that. He wanted to object. To tell him "no, you can't do that". But he had no right to. This was the boy's courtship, not his. If something happens, then it is up to her to shut it down, not him. Bowser concedes defeat.

"No. Do as you wish."

This earns him an odd look from her that has him regretting giving in as Roy leaves the room with her. Thinking for a moment, Bowser turns to his young heir. The boy can be quite useful.

"Jr..."

"Papa?"

"Follow them. Listen to what is said. Be a ninja. Okay?"

"Like a spy?"

"Exactly."

The young Prince snickers wickedly.

"Okay, Papa. I understand."

Jr. proceeds to wait a little bit before sneaking after the pair. Iggy makes the first comment.

"You have an attachment to her, don't you?"

Bowser remains silent and looking out to the door where they left. All but confirming evidence to Iggy.

"I knew it."

"What do you mean, you knew it?"

Larry asks.

"Isn't it obvious?"

Wendy interjects.

"There's been a romantic triangle going on for, like, ages now. Well, a sort of square if Ludwig is still wistfully thinking he has a shot."

When their eyes turn to their elder sibling, Ludwig blushes and tries to throw attention elsewhere.

"M-Me? What about Morton?"

"Don't point blame at Morton. Morton only likes the Lynn lady as just a cuddle buddy."

"Then why do you look at her like you're about to steal her?"

"Because she owes Morton cuddles and everyone always hogs her. How can Morton get cuddles if everyone always taking Lynn lady's time? It's not fair."

Morton pouts and attention goes back to Ludwig.

"I swear, I don't..."

"Ludwig, I'm standing right here. Did you already forget the very lengthy chat we had about this very subject? About how if you wanted her to know how you feel, you have to actually tell her. Ring any bells?"

Ludwig looks off before sighing.

"Fine, yes. I do carry a torch for the maiden. But I can be removed from that shape you stated. My chances of courtship have since past me by."

"I don't know. You still look like a strung up boy. I'm marking you down as a weak corner."

"Do not mark me as anything!"

"Too late."

Larry and Lemmy share looks, they always tend to be left out in these odd moments.

"Do you get what they're saying?"

"A little bit."

"What was it then?"

"Roy likes Lynn. Dad likes her too. Ludwig also likes her but he's giving up. And Morton just likes cuddles."

"Well, yeah. Cuddles are awesome."

"Yeah, they are."

"This is kind of boring. *gasp* We should follow Jr.. No way what he's doing is boring."

"You read my mind. Come on."

The boys leave and, even though they passed by right in front of Bowser's line of sight, the King doesn't even notice them as they go. The remaining children seem to bicker further about this romantic storyline that's been going on in their lives. Piecing together little clues that they've noticed over time. But the King heard not a word of it. His mind too lost in the thoughts of what Roy can be doing with his spitfire.

No, don't think like that. She isn't property. She isn't yours. This is exactly what she was talking about. You messed up, remember? Had you just not slapped her, she'd still be here for you. Now you're getting hitched to Peach and Roy's making sure she's farther from you than before. How will you get her back? If the boy fails that is. Maybe it's for the best. What kind of man strikes the woman he claims to love? A dumbass, that's for sure. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve that love he felt when with her. Yet he wanted it. He wanted it more than anything. And that look she gave as Roy took her away. It was almost like she was disappointed. Disappointed that he didn't even try to fight for her. Disappointed that after everything, he just gave up. Could she really still care for a fool like him? How he hoped so.

[Meanwhile: in Roy's room]

Not long after stepping into Roy's room, he locked the door and captured my lips in a slightly frenzied kiss that caught me off guard. Roy has a tendency of doing that to me. And he also likes to use this to his advantage. This time, he's managed to lift me off my feet and pinned me to said door. Making me feel rather shocked for two reasons. One, because I'm surprised by his actions and two, because it oddly is slightly thrilling when he gets all heated like this. Makes him feel dangerous in a tame way. I like it.

"*purrs* What's got into you, tough guy?"

"What's the matter, sugar? Not havin' fun~?"

"I didn't say that. But I doubt your big surprise is just making out with me."

"Nah, I got somethin' better for ya. But this ain't bad for a start~."

Roy trails kisses along my shoulders then brings his mouth down on my neck and I flinch at the memory of what happened last time when he did this.

"Roy, please...Not another hickey. The first one is still forming."

He merely smirks with a smugly deep rumble and nips tenderly, making me squirm. Damn my sensitive spot. Damn him for finding out about it. He bites down and sucks hard to make a very large mark. The shameful moan that escapes me to fill his ears has him grinning and I clasp his shell to hold something so I don't lose myself completely.

"*muffled* I love ya...Every little thing ya do...Every sound ya make...I want more...I want you..."

"*whimper* R-Roy...Don't..."

He pauses upon hearing that.

"Sugar? You okay?"

"You're moving too fast..."

I look away while blushing.

"It feels weird."

"Ya want me to stop?"

"If that's okay."

"Sure...No problem, sweetheart."

He lets me go and I hug him quickly.

"Thank you."

"Eh, no biggie, sugar. Heh, I just got caught up in the moment. Sorry if it made ya uncomfortable."

"It's okay. We're new to this. Still learning things and about each other. It's what happens when trying to start a relationship."

He smiles.

"Oh? So we are a thing?"

I snicker.

"You're playing your cards right. You might get that wish, tough guy."

"Then how about I play my next hand? You want my gift?"

"As long as it's nothing extreme."

"So a ring would be too much?"

I pale and he laughs.

"I'm kiddin'. I'm kiddin'. Man...*snickers* You should see the look on your face."

I push him back and fold my arms.

"That's not funny."

"Easy, sugar. My bad. But for real, I didn't get ya any jewelry. Ya don't seem like the type that would wear anything flashy for long."

"You figure me out too easy. But you're not wrong. I can't deal with the over the top bobbles like Wendy or the Princesses."

"That's what I like about ya. You're not all girly and junk. Yet...I might have broken down for this and learned a little somethin' that might make the lady in ya swoon."

I cock my brow.

"What did you do?"

He offers me his hand.

"I learned how to waltz."

"...For real?"

"Would I lie about somethin' so lame?"

I snort a laugh and take his hand.

"No. You wouldn't."

He smiles and pulls me close.

"Ya know how to dance, sweet cheeks?"

"Honestly? Not a clue."

"It's fine. Just follow my lead."

"Alright. But what's a dance without some music?"

"*snort* Babe, I got tunes. Just gotta turn on the system."

He snaps his fingers and his stereo comes to life.

"Oooh. Fancy."

"Ya ain't seen nothin' yet, sweetheart."

The music kicks on and he moves my hands to hold him before he takes hold of me.

"Watch my feet if ya need to."

"Okay."

The beat picks up and a song begins to play. He takes a few steps and I try to keep pace.

" _If I had the money, let me tell you how it'd be. I'd take over the country, everyone would bow to me. Sit up in my palace, and baby you would be my queen. We'd run this ship together, just you wait and see...We'll be royalty...We'll be royalty...I know, I know, I know...I know we're broke right now. Girl, I guarantee that I will work this out. Yeah, see I've got this plan. Are you in or out? I need to understand. Trips to Rio, five-star meals. Girl, don't quit on me now. If I gotta beg or steal, no big deal. Oh, let me break it down. If I had the money, let me tell you how it'd be. I'd take over the country, everyone would bow to me. Sit up in my palace, and baby you would be my queen. We'd run this ship together, just you wait and see...We'll be royalty...We'll be royalty...We'll be royalty...We'll be royalty..._ "

"Interesting song choice."

"Not bad, right?"

"You have good taste, Roy."

"Well, yeah. I choose you."

"Awww..."

" _So would you cover me? If I gotta take out any enemy, yeah? Cause it might get ugly. Planning things that you don't wanna see in here. You're 'bout to party with stars, fancy cars. Girl, don't quit on me now. If I've gotta rob or steal, no big deal. This is how we'll do it. If I had the money, let me tell you how it'd be. I'd take over the country, everyone would bow to me. Sit up in my palace, and baby you would be my queen. We'd run this ship together, just you wait and see...We'll be royalty...And I'll be the king baby...We'll be sitting on a throne...We'll be sitting on a throne, you and me, all alone...Ain't no stopping us now, hey..._ "

"Ya know...For a girl that said she can't dance, ya really aren't that bad."

"Flattery is unnecessary."

"No, I mean it. Ya picked up on this fast and haven't even stepped on my toes."

"I'm only doing good because I'm following you."

"Now who's flatterin'?"

"You, you silly Koopa."

" _We'll be royalty. So who d'you trust, girl its ride or die. We'll be royalty. So pack your stuff, let's take this to the sky. We'll be royalty. So who d'you trust, girl its ride or die. We'll be royalty. So pack your stuff, let's take this to the sky. We'll be royalty._ "

The song ends as Roy twirlers me around a bit and finishes in his arms. He stares at me for a moment while another tune begins to play, but we do not dance to it. He presses his forehead to my own and I smile softly.

"It's amazing."

"What is?"

"That you can be so strong and tough while at the same time be the sweetest boy ever."

He blushes a bit from that.

"Ah, sugar...Ya gotta warn a guy before ya say somethin' like that."

"How come?"

"'Cause...It's hard to be cool when ya say somethin' so cute."

"Awww...Come here, tough guy."

I give this hardcore softy a kiss and he gladly returns it with gusto. It starts out as a playful little reward for him being so sweet to me. Yet it doesn't stay that way. He adds a bit more passion to it, holding me tight and dipping me slightly.

"Mmmm...You really weren't kidding about the swoon thing."

"That's the Koopa charm, sugar. And it's all for you~."

"Awww..."

We proceed to dance for a few more songs. Really enjoying the moment. Or at least, that was what I was doing. It's not every day that I can just forget myself in a mindless activity like this. Well, I could, but that wouldn't be fair to the kids. I can't be an absentminded caretaker. Especially to royalty such as them. So when I'm able to mentally get lost, I tend to really enjoy it before the moment drifts away. Roy on the other hand, he never stops looking for moments that he can take advantage of. So when he senses that my guard is completely down, he begins to put a plan into motion. His steps lead me around the room in a disorientating spin that gets me dizzy rather easy. This is then followed by him moving to be on the bed and him pulling me on top of him.

"Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothin', sweet cheeks. Just wanted to be close to ya is all."

"Okay...But no funny stuff."

"Babe. Come on. Would I ever do somethin' so lame as to mess this up?"

"No...But..."

"Relax, sweetheart. I got ya. Trust me. I ain't gonna do anythin' to make ya uncomfortable."

"Alright. I trust you."

"Good. Now, how's about ya give me some more sugar, sugar~."

I giggle as he captures my lips with his and I'm under his charming spell with ease.

Outside the room is a different scene altogether. Jr., Larry, and Lemmy huddle around Roy's bedroom door. Trying to listen in on anything their tiny ears could pick up. Unfortunately, the music wasn't helping.

"Do you hear anything?"

"Nope."

"All I hear is that dumb music."

"I know, right? He's got no taste."

"Guys, hush. You can't be good spies if you're talking more than you're listening."

"What's there to listen to?"

"Yeah. I bet they're not even talking."

"Probably being all gross and kissing."

"Oh Roy, you smooch so good~."

"You too, sugar~."

Larry and Lemmy make kissing sounds which cause Jr. to growl.

"Will you two knock it off?! Mama is not like that!"

They immediately stop.

"Sorry, Jr.."

"We didn't mean to make you mad."

"We're just really bored."

"We do goofy stuff when bored."

"That wasn't goofy. That's my Mama. Don't make fun of my Mama."

They lower their heads.

"We're sorry."

They say in unison.

"It's fine. Just...Don't do it again."

"We promise."

"No more saying weird stuff about the Lynn mom."

"Thank you."

"Oh my god!"

The sudden shout got their attention and when the door latch began to rattle harshly they were quick to move away. The door flings open and Lynsie bolts out, now once more wearing her shell.

"Too fast, Roy! Too freaking fast!"

She takes off as Roy stumbles to the doorway, his shades are off and the air knocked out of him.

"*wheeze* Sugar wait...*gasp* I didn't mean it...*coughing* I'm sorry...*hoarse* Come back!"

The three younger boys mere stare in confusion as Roy, unaware of their being nearby, catches his breath before he drops to his knees in guilt.

"#%*&$...#%*&$...I messed up...I messed up so bad..."

"What did you do?"

Lemmy blows their cover and Larry covers his brother's mouth in vain. It's too late to hide and Jr. knows it. This won't end well for the no-longer undercover spies. Roy doesn't look at them. He keeps his back to them and snarls viciously, a stark contrast from the weakened worry he was seconds ago.

"*growls* Ya got five seconds to leave. I won't warn ya twice."

Considering what happened the last time Roy lost his temper, they don't question or think of talking back. They back away slowly before hightailing it away. It was best to run away. Fighting a disgruntled Roy is not a smart move. Besides, they have information to pass on to Bowser about all this craziness.

Now sure that he was alone, the rage Roy held gave out with little effort. He is not one to show any of the softer emotions, as is the tough guy way. But at this moment, his heart broke along with every wall he made in his soul, and he let loose a wail in anguish as the tears began to flow.

" _I walk along the avenue. I never thought I'd meet a girl like you. Meet a girl like you. With auburn hair and tawny eyes. The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through. You hypnotize me through. And I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran. I ran all night and day. I couldn't get away._ "

Of course the stereo was still on and seemed to be set to ironic tunes. The sounds of his pain will forever haunt Castle Koopa. Joining along the past cries of his father and many others before him.

" _A cloud appears above your head. A beam of light comes shining down on you. Shining down on you. The cloud is moving nearer still. Aurora Borealis comes in view. Aurora comes in view. And I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran. I ran all night and day. I couldn't get away._ "

His fists slam into the floor, cracking the stone. His body demanded he move. To go after her. To not let her go. But his heart was too heavy in sadness and guilt. He couldn't move. He couldn't do a thing.

" _Reached out a hand to touch your face. You're slowly disappearing from my view. Clearing from my view. Reached out a hand to try again. I'm floating in a beam of light with you. A beam of light with you. And I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran. I ran all night and day. And I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran. I couldn't get away._ "

[Meanwhile: Inside Castle Seven]

Somehow, they had managed the impossible. On the razor's edge the whole way in this journey and now they stand on the very cusp of the end. The only thing that stands in the way of the Mario Brothers now is what lies beyond the door at the end of this deathtrap of a castle. Whatever it is that awaits them in that final room, it will surely be worth all this hell. They do a final health check, get their limited items ready, and then push open the door. As with most of the boss rooms they've entered, all is quiet and it appears empty. Yet like those other times before, the moment the door closes, the lights turn on. A slow rumble shakes the floor. As it gets stronger, the floor in the back starts to open. Slowly a familiar looking form begins to emerge, yet this was far larger and more metal than this Koopa tended to be.

"Are you-a kidding me."

"What is it, Mario?"

"Mecha-Bowser."

"Oh...Wait, what?!"

Mecha-Bowser, a huge Bowser-shaped robot that can be controlled from within the head. In the past, this mechanical monster has been less of a threat and more of an annoyance, as well as being less finely put together. It used to emit a lot of sparks and its body parts seem to be badly attached like it was put together in a rush. But not this one. This one was clearly put together with care and given a much-needed upgrade. It didn't have the normal Bowser paint job but the stainless steel shine made it more menacing. The gleam of those claws, the sheen of those teeth, and the glare in those eyes. Chilling.

"Mama mia..."

"Who do you-a think is piloting it?"

"Probably just-a some minion."

"I AM NOT A MINION!"

The oddly female voice cracks out of the metal beast's mouth. This confuses the brothers till the hair parts and out stands what seems to be a very out of place pirate.

"If you boys think I'm just another run of the mill pushover, then you have another thing coming."

This was her. The one Dunk and Shoot call boss, Captain Syrup. Syrup wears a light purple top with two loops at each shoulder, a large red belt with a white skull buckle, and knee-length purple puffy pants with torn leg openings. Her boots are purple with light bottoms and a pink roll-over ankle. She has light-purple wraps with long strands on her wrists and a light purple bandanna wraps the top of her head. Her accessories include a tooth-like necklace and golden octopus earrings. She appears to be a very tall and developed woman. Her hair is long, curly, and kind of red or reddish-brown. Her eyes are a reddish-orange in hue, has on light-sea blue eyeshadow, and pink rose lipstick. Queen of the seas, that's what her appearance screams.

"You boys got here sooner than expected. Sorry to tell you this, but your Princess is in another castle."

The brothers groan loudly.

"I thought I'd never hear those words again."

"Kill me-a. Just kill me-a now."

She smirks.

"Tempting. But I have my orders. Bowser paid a good price to ensure that not only do I stop you, but...I get to have some fun in making sure you don't ever leave this place...alive that is."

"You're-a rather confident for a woman that's never fought us before. But then again, anyone can-a feel strong with a big toy like that."

She glares.

"I don't need this thing to beat you. I've made men like you regret ever being born."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. You're-a the kind of girl that wanted to tick off her folks and ran with the wrong crowd, only to take it over while forgetting why you-a did it in the first place. Stop me-a when I hit the nail on the head."

She sneers harshly and glares daggers at Mario.

"Mario, that's no way to speak to a lady. What would ma say if she knew how far your-a manners have slipped?"

Mario scoffs.

"Where do you-a see a lady?"

Syrup becomes angry enough to scream, but she doesn't get the chance. A sudden explosion goes off and the ceiling above cracks open, dropping in two screaming nincompoops. Wario and Waluigi land on their heads but are otherwise fine. She composes herself and waves to the Parakoopas that dropped them off so to speak.

"It's about time you two showed up."

The bad boys dust themselves off and look around.

"Well I'll be a Goomba's uncle...That flying shroom wasn't lying. That lizard really hired you."

"Good to see you too, handsome. How have you been?"

"Still ticked off that you stole from me. But I can let that slide..."

Wario cracks his knuckles and faces the Mario Brothers.

"Work comes first."

Syrup looks at the unfamiliar purple man.

"Who's your friend?"

Waluigi look upon this woman and all thought leaves him as his head is filled with sultry saxophone music. Wario sees this and shakes his head in disgust.

"This is Waluigi. He'd had said that himself, but he's currently brain dead."

Waluigi waves timidly and she smiles.

"Hey there, good looking. Are you here to help me beat up these naughty boys?"

He nods excitedly.

"Thanks, hun."

She winks as she blows him a kiss and Waluigi heats up enough to make his mustache straighten. Wario punches his buddy in the shoulder.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You're falling into her trap. Don't be a fool."

Waluigi grumbles while rubbing his shoulder.

"Whatever."

"Get ready boys, because this is when the fun starts."

"Then get it over with already! Stop taking forever like every woman ever and just get to the point!"

Mario's shouting makes the room go dead quiet. Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi move aside as Syrup's eye begins to twitch.

"...I'm going to #%*&$ kill you."

She dives back inside the metal beast and starts it up, giving the malicious monster life with a roar.

"You just-a had to make her mad."

"Bite me. I have a girlfriend to rescue. I don't-a have time to waste talking with this...woman...?"

Mario's words cancel out upon the robot's chest opening up and revealing two rows of five Banzai Bill blaster cannons.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE #%*&$ DEALING WITH!"

And she was so right about that. A cunning pirate, a deadly machine, and two arch-rivals all with the intent to destroy them. Well...Mario more than Luigi at this point. But that's up to Waluigi on that.

"Time to finally put you in your place, you arrogant red turd!"

Wario gulps down two full cloves of garlic and his gut rumbles.

"They say keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. I think I'll do that better...When I bury you in my backyard!"

Waluigi slips on some brass knuckles with spiked ends.

"Mario..."

"Yeah?"

"I loath you-a right now."

"I loath me-a too, bro. I loath me-a too."

This was going to be a fight that they actually weren't sure they'd get out of unscathed or at all. But what choice did they have? They have to rescue Peach. No matter what the odds. It's just what they do.

* * *

 **Shoutout to the group Big Bad Bosses (B3) and their song "Princess" for inspiring this scene. In case you're curious, B3 is a video game villain boy band featuring Bowser, Sephiroth, Ganondorf, and Robotnic. I highly recommend you give them a shot and you might even recognize who does their voices. Here's a link to their setlist.** **I hope you enjoy them and they might make a second album.**

 **youtube playlist?list=PLx6GleNkyUhgS5XXXd_jekiWHVp4Bnq1D (there's a space because ffnet doesn't post links and it'll mess up otherwise)**

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	30. Evening five: Nothing is nice anymore

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^ (So I've thought about where I'm placing this story in the grand scheme of the Mario timeline and I believe I've picked a good spot. I've decided that this story will take place before Mario+Rabbids and Odyssey, setting things up to correspond with both those games in a way that'll make sense...I hope.)**

* * *

I can't stop running. I know he's not chasing me, but I can't stop. Why? Why did you do that, Roy?! I told you no funny stuff. I told you it was too fast. We aren't on the same level. I'm not ready for this! I can't do this! I can't! I'm done! Where's the nearest window?! I need to get out of here! And so I run. I can't stop. Nothing short of a wall can make me stop. I don't even have a direction as to where I'm going. I'm just aimlessly darting through halls. Nothing looks familiar in the blur that is my sight. Stone and fire, that's all I see. Fire. Stone. Stone. Fire. Minion. More stone. More fire. More minions. A door.

*thwack*

I slam face first into an opening door and fall flat on my shell. I give myself a 60% chance of having a broken nose or in the very least a bleeding forehead knowing my luck with getting hit. I just hope the person that opened said door is not anyone that would care about me at this moment.

"Human? What are you doing on the floor?"

Kamek hovers over me and I rub my aching face.

"I smacked the door with my face."

"I know that. But what was the reason?"

"Because I was running."

"And why were you doing a silly thing like that?"

"I wanted to get away."

"From what?"

"Everything."

Kamek lowers himself to the ground and gets off his broom. I make no attempt to move from my spot.

"Are you alright?"

"No."

He looks at me funny.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"...Not here."

"Very well."

Using his broom, he flips me over to my side and I'm able to get back on my feet.

"Come, girl. Tell me about your troubles."

I sigh as he begins walking and I slowly follow his lead. Where he'll take me I don't know. But in the very least, maybe I can get some of this off my chest and feel less likely to want to fly out a window.

[Meanwhile: in the lounge]

It is getting late in the evening and soon the time for sleep will fall upon them. Bowser was beginning to grow more anxious. He had sent the little spies off quite some time ago and curiosity was playing tricks on his mind. What could Roy possibly be doing with her? What would she allow him to do? That girl lets him get away with murder as is. He didn't want to think about the things that she'd allow him to do. The things he'd rather she allow he himself to do. But he knew by now those times were gone. He lost the right to have those moments with her the instant his hand struck her face. He had to face the fact that it was Roy's time. The boy had the right to court her and continue to do so for as long as she deemed him worthy. And as his father, he had to allow Roy to do so. But just because he had to, it didn't mean he liked it. As much as he would be proud of his boy for capturing the heart of such a girl, in the back of his mind he was hoping for the boy to fail so he would once more be able to sway things in his favor. Part of him hated himself for thinking that way. To wish ill on the chances of his child to be happy. And the more he thought about it, the more it made him sick. What kind of parent gets that jealous of their own child's happiness? Him apparently. If only he had a sign. Something to tell him he could stop this self-torment. That he could let this crush die and he could try to move on with his heart.

"Papa!"

Jr., Lemmy, and Larry coming bolting in like they've seen some monster randomly eat Santa.

"Papa!"

"What's wrong? Are you boys okay?"

"We have news!"

"Big news!"

That got everyone's attention.

"How big are we talking here?"

"Roy messed up!"

Lemmy says with all the giddiness of a child wanting to blurt out a secret. But it did have Bowser's interest.

"What do you mean he messed up? Give me details. What happened?"

"We couldn't hear much because Roy had music playing."

"But suddenly Mama came running out of his room and he was upset that he made her flee."

Part of him fought the urge to smirk upon hearing that.

"Do you know what he did?"

The three of them shook their heads no.

"Do you know where she went?"

Again they shook their heads. Great, just great. Look what you did with all your evil wishful thinking. Roy did something bad and now she's somewhere probably lost because that's how ditsy she is. Better go and fix this before it gets any worse for everyone involved.

"Okay...*sigh* Kids, I think it's best you all go to bed now."

The group all whines at once in perfect unison.

"Don't give me that. It's late and I have a mess to fix. So do me a favor and go to bed now. If you do, I'll...um...I'll get you each something you've wanted for your birthday a lot sooner."

They didn't need to be offered twice. They scurry away and he palms his face. Him and his big mouth, making expensive promises just to buy some time. He really needs to stop doing that at some point. For now, though, that will have to wait. His spitfire was somewhere in the castle and if he was able to find her, maybe he'll be able to get back in her good graces once more. His hunt begins now.

[Meanwhile: Kamek's alchemic laboratory]

Kamek brought me to his lab since he was headed there anyway and honestly, it's a really cool place. Gives off this really cool wizard vibe with all the books and potions. So while he's busy and not entirely focused on me, I'm able to prattle on about my issues. I'd be too embarrassed if he was paying complete attention to all this.

"...So I tried to leave but he grabbed my wrist. I panicked. I couldn't hear a word that came out of his mouth. And instinct kicked in. I socked him hard in the gut and ran out of there. I don't know how long I was running for till I face planted into that door. Stars, he's probably beating himself up over this. He's so sensitive when it comes to this stuff. *groan* I hate all this craziness! Why does everything have to be so difficult and confusing? Why can't things stay the way they were in the beginning? When I was just a caretaker and no one was trying to woo me. *sigh* Sometimes...I think it would be better if I just were gone. That I should go back to my old house and my old dull life. Am I a fool for thinking that?"

He's too busy making sure his research is being done correctly to look at me.

"Are you a fool? No. You're just overstressed in a situation you're not used to. Perfectly reasonable."

"What should I do? Do I try to work things out with Roy? Do I stop it? And then there's the whole Bowser thing..."

"Believe me, I know more about that side of things than I care to know."

"He told you about liking me?"

"Yes. And I will admit, I did not approve at first."

"For real?"

"I said at first...I'm not the most trusting of you humans. Which I don't think you had any doubts on that."

I chuckle.

"Yeah, you make it hard not to notice that."

"But you...You are alright. You're not like the other humans we've dealt with. You're honest and respectful. You do what is needed and expected of yourself. I was not happy to hear of his 'attraction' of you, but...You are a better option than what he's used to going after."

I'm not sure how to take that, compliment or insult. I go with the positive.

"Thanks? But that's not really answering any of my problems."

"Well, why not ask yourself what you should do."

I glare at the back of his head.

"If I could answer them why would I bother asking you?"

"Now there's no need for that tone."

"You don't get this. I'm stuck between a spike wall and waterfall of lava. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. I care about both of them but I don't know what I got to do. They both are on different levels than me. They throw that 'love' word around so easily and I struggle to even utter that I like them. I just..."

I cut myself off and he pauses in his work.

"Human?"

"...I just want them to be happy."

He turns around and actually looks at me.

"But what do you want?"

I look at him funny.

"For them to be happy."

"No, no. You. What do YOU want?"

"For them to..."

"Don't! Say anything but that. Truly ask yourself what it is that YOU want."

I look at the floor.

"You really don't know what you want, do you?"

I shake my head and he sighs while rubbing the bridge of his snout.

"For the love the stars...You can't be that selfless."

"Why not?"

"Why not?! You're alive, aren't you? You have you're own will and needs. Shouldn't you want your own happiness? You have a say in all this. You're more than just a doll that they can use for their own needs."

"I know that. I just...*sigh* I don't know. Knowing they're happy makes me happy. So that's all I really care about. But I'm not able to please everyone all the time. I can't be with both on the same level they expect me to be. I'm not even sure I can even go that far. When affection becomes intimacy..."

"Please! Go no further in that direction."

"Don't worry, I'm not. The idea makes me uncomfortable."

"I see...There's the line in the sand."

He turns his attention back to his work.

"You're afraid of becoming vulnerable by giving up control over that which no one has ever known."

"Okay, Sigmund Kong, you don't have to get all smart about it. Yes, I'm a virgin. I've never been in a relationship. I've never given so much of my trust to someone else. I've never known love. So, yeah, I'm apprehensive about it. I'm defensive about allowing myself to be reliant on someone else. I'm not used to it. It's...It's scary."

"What part of life isn't? We come into this world and are forced into being dependent on strangers we call parents to live. We grow and encounter odd things that only make us confused. But we either can choose to cower from that which we don't know or face it and find out it's nothing to worry about. So it's now time for you to make a choice, human. You can either live in fear of growing emotionally or take control of things and become a better person. Which do you choose?"

I groan and rub my face.

"Obviously I choose the latter. But that still doesn't help me with the current issue of two guys trying to get my heart and I'm too freaking stupid to know who it is I myself like. I'm torn. I'm torn in pieces and they each hold the parts needed to put me back together."

"Well, you were with Roy recently. Why is that?"

"Because after I had them talk things out with each other, Bowser said he was backing down and allowing Roy to have his shot."

That made Kamek flinch.

"He...He said he was backing down? Bowser? Like...He gave up?"

"That's how I reacted! It's so un-Bowser to just cave in and submit. I have no doubt in my mind that he's doing this because of parental reasons, but his feelings are still there. I know they are. I can still see it in his eyes when he looks at me."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"It's complicated. Bowser just...He feels good to be around. Without trying we click in this nice buddy way. He's a great man and he deserves to be happy. For all that he's done, he should know joy like anyone else. But all the Peach stuff...I don't want to be near that woman. And in small ways, I know she still has some part of him. I mean, he doesn't need to marry her to take the Mushroom Kingdom. Just kill her and take everything in the resulting chaos. Don't tie yourself to that devil woman. So why? Why go through with it? Why are you going to marry her if you don't have to, you big dork?"

Kamek stops his work again to face me. My voice began to hold sadness and anger. He doesn't need an upset woman raging in his lab.

"You know his reason. He wants to break her. To crush her like she has done him so many times before."

"Then he shouldn't have told me that he loves me!"

Tears are starting to pool and slip out.

"Tell me after. Tell me after she's gone and all is done. Not before. Don't make me fall for you and then make me watch you marry another woman. If you care as much as you tell me that you do, don't hurt me like that. I don't deserve that. I do so much for him. I take care of his kids. I support his plans. I wore a freaking dress and kidnapped that harpy for him. And what's the reward I get for being a good person? I'm told he loves me and that he's marrying Peach. I just...I just can't deal with that. I just can't."

I'm fighting the need to cry but the tears still fall. Kamek on his end is taken back by my rather emotional outburst. He's not used to seeing it from anyone, let alone, the normally cheerful human.

"Do you need a moment?"

"*sniffle* I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I shoot him a stern look and he steps back a bit.

"Okay...Moving on. How does Roy make you feel?"

I wipe my face dry.

"Hard to say. Roy is sweet and caring..."

"We are talking about Roy, right?"

"At least, he's that way to me. He tries so hard to make me like him. He learned to waltz for me. We danced and he made my heart swell. He's been honest with me from the very start and sees no other girl but me. He's the guy I wish I knew when I was younger. I could've grown up with him and fell for him over time. Nice and slow. Not like how he's doing it now. All fast and rough, like riding a bike with no shocks at top speed down a very bumpy mountain. I try to apply breaks when things get too crazy but it sometimes makes the bike crash. ...Does that make any of the sense it did in my head?"

Kamek's eye twitches a bit behind his glasses. Some things are better left unsaid.

"I did not mean for any of that to sound naughty, I swear."

"I understood what you meant. Just...Really wasn't expecting all this when I first offered to listen to your problems."

"I did tell you I wasn't okay. That's a warning of heavy junk that's bothering me."

"I'll make a note of that."

"But you see my problem, right? I care about both of them and yet there are these moments in our interactions that have made me reconstruct the walls that keep them at bay on an emotional level."

"Aside from what you told me Roy did, I doubt his majesty did anything as bad as..."

"He hit me."

That stole the words from his mouth.

"Oh..."

"Kammy had to heal the damage that came after. It wasn't pretty. My face was gnarly and actually stuck to the pillow I slept on."

"Please, I don't need details."

"I don't know what to do, Kamek. At this rate, I'm going to drive myself insane trying to figure out what I should do to the point I'm going to break down mentally. How do I choose between the one that will over do it to have me as his personal queen and the one that glorifies me while making another his bride?"

Kamek removes his spectacles and cleans them on his robe in thought.

"Well?"

He puts them back on.

"I have no clue."

I hang my head and sigh.

"That doesn't help."

"Sorry. But you got yourself into a mess that I have no idea on what would be needed to fix it. Two males like you and you are the factor that determines which of the two gets you, for lack of better words, as a prize. Because, let's face it, one of them isn't coming out of this happy."

"And that's something I don't want to happen."

"Which is why you're stuck. You're trying to please all of the people all of the time. But that can't be done."

"*groan* If only there were two of me."

"Well..."

That has me look up at him.

"Well, what?"

"...There is a power-up item that his highness found while he invaded the Sprixie Kingdom."

"The cat bell?"

"Besides that one. It's called the Double Cherry. When used, a clone of the user appears. The clones keep the user's state, for example, if you were using a Fire Flower then so would the clone, and they all move identically to the user. From what we've studied, there can be up to five clones at one time. If another Double Cherry is used when five clones exist, a Coin will appear instead."

"Really? How strong are the copies? The same as the original?"

"The clones disintegrate if harmed like any other transformation power-up. Also, others can steal the double power from someone using it if the original is hit with a Ground Pound."

"Wait, they move identically to the original? So they have no will of their own?"

"No. It's pretty much like a shadow copy. You move your arm, the clone does the same, and so on."

"Dang...That almost was a thing. Any other power-ups you can think of?"

"Not sure. Currently, I am working on a recipe for a new one."

"Oh?"

"This old text describes it as something along the lines of the caps that allows whoever possessing it to change their appearance and abilities to the cap's inspirational owner. However, the voice will remain unchanged so it's not a complete change."

"Really?"

I move closer to check it out.

"How close is it to completion?"

"Not long. But I will need a tester."

I shrug.

"Sure. I could use the distraction. What is it called?"

"The text is a bit iffy on that, but it roughly translates to 'Super Crown'."

"Huh...Neat."

[Meanwhile: roaming the castle halls]

Apparently finding a runaway girl is a lot harder than Bowser first thought. In fact, he was starting to have flashbacks to when she ran off and was found sleeping in a broom closet. But unlike last time, she wasn't in the closet and his search area had far fewer people looking. Just him. Him alone searching room to room for his little spitfire. And in a castle with just about a hundred rooms, it's taking a long time. He was looking in all the places he knew that she knew of. The garden, nope. The kitchen, nope. The indoor pool, wait, he hadn't shown her that yet. The treasure room, not there either but still worth a shot. Peach's room, not a trace of the woman he wanted. Yet when all felt lost, he finally got some clues. A few of the cleaning staff have caught sight of her galloping like a panicked mare in frenzy. Not really the clearest of clues to go on. But following the direction that they point out has him finding a minion that gave him actual directions. This one tells him of the human being lead by Kamek to a place he himself doesn't often remember even exists in his home, Kamek's laboratory. And here is where he has been standing on the outside of like a nervous child ever since his ears managed to hear her voice. His adviser and his love were having a chat he had hoped would not be brought up outside of their relationship. But the more she spoke, the more he understood why she was telling Kamek all this. She's conflicted and confused. She just wants them to be happy. Hearing her say that over and over again had him wanting to rip the door off its hinges to get to her. But then...

"Then he shouldn't have told me that he loves me!"

That had him frozen on the spot.

"Tell me after. Tell me after she's gone and all is done. Not before. Don't make me fall for you and then make me watch you marry another woman. If you care as much as you tell me that you do, don't hurt me like that. I don't deserve that. I do so much for him. I take care of his kids. I support his plans. I wore a freaking dress and kidnapped that harpy for him. And what's the reward I get for being a good person? I'm told he loves me and that he's marrying Peach. I just...I just can't deal with that. I just can't."

His heart sank deeper than the pirate ship in Jolly Roger Bay. She continued to talk with Kamek but he heard none of it. She held in so much more than he would've guessed. But why? Why didn't she tell him any of this? Why is she opening up to Kamek and not him? Was it because of Roy? Was she holding all this in to spare him? To spare the both of them? Her depth of care truly knew no bounds but it's eating her alive. Even when he stepped down she knew he didn't want to. She knows him so well at this point, he's like a book to her. Yet for how easy he can be read in her eyes, he was blind to the pages of her she gave him. This wasn't fair. None of it right. Where is the love in all this pain? It's not love to pressure someone to choose you over someone else, even if that someone else is doing the same thing. Maybe it was time to end this. This whole mess wasn't healthy for any of them. As hard as it was going to be, he knew what he had to do. And that is...

"Oh my god, get this #%*&$ thing off of me!"

His thoughts broke at the sound of her distress and his instinct had him barging into the room before the idea ever clicked in his head.

"Lynsie, are you...oh...okay...?"

The sight now before the King of the Koopas was a strange one indeed. There were faint pink sparkles that were in the process of fading. Kamek was held up in a threatening stranglehold by the collar of his robes. And the one being all threatening was a very Peach-looking Lynsie. Her hair was blonde and resembled the style of Peach's though in her usual ponytail. Her face had makeup, her earrings became steel gems, a steel brooch rested on her chest, and the dress was not exactly like Peach's but close enough to fool a less detailed eye. But this wasn't a true Peach makeover. Her eyes were still her strong hazel green, the dress was as black as her t-shirt, the gloves and leggings were like the blue of jeans, that Koopa shell snugly covering her back, and she still had those old sneakers instead of heels. A clearly knockoff crown sat on her head, the poofy center it held resembles the head of a mushroom being pink with white spots while the gold rim was a basic design you could find in a costume shop. Upon noticing Bowser's staring, she immediately drops Kamek and blushes with a glare.

"Don't look at me! I'm a hideous abomination!"

She flees to cower behind bookshelves and Kamek dusts himself off as he gets himself from the floor.

"Your majesty, I present to you, the Super Crown. A strange and ancient power-up that allows the user to become a look-alike of the current ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom."

It took a few moments before Bowser lets out a gut-busting laugh. That didn't help the growling girl hiding in the back.

"This isn't funny! I look like a freak!"

"You look hilarious."

"I will smack you!"

"You'll have to come over here first."

"*roar*!"

"I see why you call her spitfire now. She has a Koopa temper."

Bowser chuckles.

"Okay, enough fun. How does she go back to normal?"

"The same way as any transformation power-up. Take a hit, lose the power."

That was something he didn't want to hear.

"What about just taking it off?"

"You think I didn't try that already?! Damn thing won't come off! It's like it's part of my head or something."

Bowser wasn't sure how to handle this. No way he was going to hit her. He'd never make that mistake twice. And he didn't like the idea of having someone else hurt her either. This was a conundrum.

"If I come over there, will you promise not to mock me?"

That at least might help slightly.

"Of course. I would never mock you...now."

"I might."

"Not if you know what's good for you, old fart!"

"He'll behave. Just come out."

She's reluctant, that's to be expected. But slowly she does come out of hiding and he can see the shame this transformation was bringing her.

"It's bad...Isn't it?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"You look like Peach fell into a punk rock outlet."

She giggled at that.

"Heh...That would be the only way she'd actually look decent."

He reaches out and touches to the crown.

"Can you feel this?"

"A little. It's very creepy."

He tries to pull it off and she hisses sharply.

"Thing really is attached. Strange doodad."

"I see no practicality to this power-up except in body doubling as Peach in some weird scheme."

"That...That would make for a good plan. Let's just chalk that one up in the 'use later' idea box."

"You make it sound like we will need that idea for later."

"Never hurts to be prepared for any sort of situation."

"Such as?"

"Such as...um..."

He had no idea what to follow that up with.

"Such as the death of the real Peach and setting up you as the replacement."

Kamek speaks as if he's had this idea for the longest time. But it does get her attention.

"Like, a body double placeholder?"

"Exactly. It would maintain the idea that Peach is still in marriage to his lordship but in reality, she'll be disposed of. You will take her place as a Peach-proxy. At least, out in public. I see no reason to keep up the charade behind closed doors."

In a strange way that made sense and it would kill two birds with one stone. It would be a way to keep the Mushroom Kingdom's people happy by seeing Peach still around and at the same time, he wouldn't have to actually deal with the real Peach. The human in all this pondered over this idea long and hard.

"As much as this plan disgusts me, I will admit I see the overall grandness in it. Though, for it to have any way of working, I do believe we'd have to fix this thing's major problem."

"Agreed. The transformation isn't a perfect one. Instead of becoming pink, it took on the colors of the clothes you were wearing."

"*sigh* I'd have to wear pink clothing and change my accessories. Lame!"

"What about her eyes? Peach's are blue."

"A simple glamour would cover that up and any other inconsistencies. All she really needs to do is work on her voice."

"Actually...I've kinda already been practicing that. *peachy* And I'd like to think I'm at the very least moderately good at mimicking her voice."

Kamek smirks while rubbing his hands evilly and Bowser himself is left in a state of disbelief.

"*normal* I usually do her voice when I mock her. I think that's what made those guys mistake me for her all that time ago. Wow, how long ago was that? I can't remember."

"My lord, this is perfect. We can easily be rid of that bothersome Toadstool and still keep the masses happy. While also having the added bonus of breaking the hearts of those blasted Mario Brothers."

The grin that gave Bowser was satisfying as it was malicious.

"That is definitely something I think we all can enjoy. What do you think?"

She smirks.

"Oh? So we are asking for my opinion in all this? From the sound of it, we were gonna do this whether I say yes or no."

"Don't be that way."

"No, no, it's fine. Princesses should be seen and not heard."

"Lynsie..."

She pinches her arm harshly and her body flashes back to its normal self. The Super Crown falls off to the side where Kamek collects it.

"I think it's past my bedtime. I'll see you boys later."

She begins to walk off to leave the room. If he lets her go, then he'll miss out on repairing their bond. So he moves just a bit faster to get ahead of her.

"Mind if I join you? The way to Jr.'s room is farther than you might expect."

She gives him a knowing look and shrugs.

"It's your castle. Do whatever you feel like doing."

She leaves and he follows while Kamek watches.

"*sigh* Those two are utterly hopeless."

Now in the halls, he keeps to her side. The silence is unnerving to him, especially since he has so much to say but is unsure how to say it all.

"Lynsie..."

"Hmmm?"

"I...I know...I..."

"Speak now, my King. Or forever hold your peace. Important matters are to be said strong. And not stuttered like idle chitchat."

She's being distant? Oh, that will not do!

"I know something happened with Roy."

She doesn't turn her sight from the path ahead and remains calm.

"Nothing happened."

"You ran out of his room in a panic."

"You were spying on me?"

Warning! Warning! Trap alert! Danger!

"Me? No! I wasn't spying on you."

"Of course not. You had the kids do your dirty work for you."

"That's beside the point."

"Unbelievable."

"What?"

"You honestly couldn't trust us?"

"You, yes. Him? Obviously not. What even happened in that room?"

"That's none of your business."

That fire of hers was flaring and he didn't like it.

"None of my business? That's my son! I have every right to know what he does."

"Then go ask him!"

"What is wrong with you? Why won't you talk to me?"

"What's there to talk about?"

"How about how you've been holding in all this emotional stuff? Why couldn't you just tell me how you felt?"

That made her stop in her tracks to glare at him.

"You...You had no right to hear..."

"Lynsie, just talk to me. I want to help you."

"Then don't make this any harder than it already is."

"How would talking to me make things harder for you?"

"You wanna know? Fine. Because it would make this unfair to any of you if I started yakking about my inability to choose whom I like."

"How do you figure...?"

"If I open up to you, then you have an advantage over Roy. If I open up to Roy, he has the advantage over you. You...heh...You really think that I haven't thought this through? That I'm winging this? Well, news flash! Rarely does this stuff ever not occupy my thoughts! Every moment I'm awake, I'm thinking of how I can possibly make either of you happy? How can I do this or do that without hurting the other person? I'm terrified of hurting either of you because for whatever reason the stars have fated me, I happen to care about you and this whole family. I want nothing more than to see each and every single one of you happy. Hell, I'm stupidly willing to be a copy of the woman I hate most in this life because it would make the Kingdom happy. Yet Kamek is right...I thought wanting your happiness was enough to make me happy as well. But it's not. I'm not happy, Bowser. I want to, I really want to be happy. But...I'm just not."

Her words, so full of melancholy and sincerity. It hurt him deeply.

"I didn't know..."

"Yeah...That makes two of us."

He frowns and as much as he hates it, he feels he has only one option if he doesn't want to lose her.

"I...I think you should go."

She sighs.

"Fine. I'd rather just go to bed and pretend this day didn't happen anyway."

"That's not what I meant."

That had her looking at him funny.

"I meant...I think you should go, as in...Not be here."

The fire that was burning in her eyes dies instantly and he tries to not show the pain this gives him.

"What do you mean? You want me gone?"

"N-No...Yes...Kind of..."

The look of betrayal comes to her like he suddenly stabbed her in the back.

"Did I do something wrong? Is this because of what I said? What did I do? Tell me! I'm sorry!"

She frightened and he wasn't expecting this level of panic.

"No, it's none of that. Please calm down. I just meant, maybe it would be best if you got away from all this. The pressure. The stress. You need to take some time to relax and let your head sort things without Roy or me influencing you at every turn. It's not fair to you."

He knows from experience what the look of someone about to cry is and at that moment, it was all her.

"But...The children...I-I can't just leave...And the Mario Brothers..."

He had to calm her down and show her that he meant well. He grabbed her and held her close, much to her confusion.

"Bowser?"

"I love you, Lynsie. That will never change. I want nothing more than for you to utter those words back to me. But I don't want you to feel like you have to or are obligated to because you think it'll make me happy. Nothing would hurt more than knowing your care is false. I want you to want to care for me because that is what YOU really want. So forget that I'm your King. Forget that any of us are royalty. Only see me as the dork of a man that you have come to know and based solely on that, judge me. Judge my son for the boy you know and not as some big shot commander. Ignore all titles and only view us on the person you've come to know. Then, and only then, you'll have the answer to this whole 'triangle' thing...I hope at least."

She seems to want to say something but holds back, choosing instead cast her eyes to the ground.

"Maybe...Maybe you're right. I don't want to think leaving is a means of figuring out my problems, but I can't say the idea didn't come to me either. ...*sigh* How long?"

"That's up to you."

She goes quiet for a while and he lets her go from his embrace.

"Lynsie?"

"...I need to think about it."

He nods.

"Understood."

This was so awkward!

"Can you...Can you still walk with me?"

She timidly asked and he wanted nothing more than to do something, anything, in the form of affection that would be assuring so she'd feel less down about all this. But he couldn't. He didn't want to come off as trying to sway her. That was already troubling her. So he went with a friendly head pat instead.

"I'd like that."

That earned him a smile and he prayed he can continue to see it for as long as she was around.

[Meanwhile: Inside Castle Seven]

Bombs blasting. Fire burning. Punches and kicks flying all over the place. And so much screaming! These are just some of the rather violent actions that have been going on inside this castle checkpoint. Mario & Luigi versus Wario, Waluigi, and Captain Syrup who's piloting Mecha-Bowser 2.0. Very one-sided fight, that's for sure...For the baddies. Due to the constant fights they always seem to get into, the Mario Brothers are very well skilled in the art of duel combat. And with only one real threat in the room, it doesn't take much to knock the Wah-boys out.

Wario is a powerhouse, built like a tank and packing a punch to back it up. What he lacks in magical abilities, he makes up for it in physical power, easily able to ram his shoulder through solid rock and cause small earthquakes when he pounds the ground. But a tank is only as good as it is controlled and that is where Wario fails. Like a boulder going downhill, once Wario moves fast enough he can't stop himself in time to move in a different direction, which leaves him open to getting slammed if he isn't super careful. Yet that's where Waluigi balances him. Waluigi is the fast and targeting attacker of the pair. Quick movements, expertly timed reflexes, and determination that doesn't quit, that is Waluigi. If Wario is like a massive stone club, then Waluigi is a rapier sword. He might not hit as hard as Wario, but if you hit something enough times it will eventually fall. Not only that, the skinny speedster possesses some magical abilities that allow him to sneak in those extra hits. Yet he also has his flaws. His most exploitable ones are his overconfidence and ego. Once you get him thinking that he can do anything he ends up dropping his guard because he believes he can do anything. So these two are fairly simple to deal with even if it might take some time. But this Captain Syrup is a BIG unknown to the brothers. And the metal monster she's piloting is just as unpredictable as she is, seemingly only attacking at just the right moment that they are barely able to evade getting massive damage.

However, despite the randomness of these attacks, there eventually starts to show a pattern. Certain times when the cannons fired. Certain times when fire shoots out. Certain times where the beast will claw, stomp, and snap its jaws at them. And knowing these times allows the brothers to strike back as oppose to just dodge. All it took to slay the great behemoth was one miracle shot. Mario, having swiped Waluigi's brass knuckles, gave them to Luigi as he acted as bait for the barrage of Banzai Bills. Luigi, now with an open opportunity, takes aim and hurls the weapon into one of the cannon openings before the ammo re-spawns. At first, nothing appears to have happened aside from Mario taking a heavy amount of damage. But then...The great machine rumbles in a completely "this isn't good" kind of way. Before anything major happens, the head launches off the body as alarms blare. The body creaks and explodes. Sending metal parts and shrapnel flying all over the room. Luckily for those on the ground, both hero and villain, no one is seriously hurt. That is until the head comes crashing down on top of the brothers and Captain Syrup lands safely some feet away, having jumped out before having the head bash the Mario Brothers. Yet, the boys aren't dead. Merely pinned down like mice under a cat's paw.

"Clever move, boys. I wasn't expecting you to be so brazen as to actually try to kill me. Well done. But...You don't live very long in my line of work if you aren't prepared for such things to happen."

Luigi attempts to struggle free as Mario lays still, having no energy left to attempt escape.

"Why? Why are you-a doing this? For the money? Can't you-a see that what you're doing is wrong?"

She smirks as Wario and Waluigi begin to stir from their form beaten up state.

"Such a sweet boy. It must be such a wonderful fantasy world you live in if you think something as pointless as right or wrong means anything. Sorry to burst your bubble, but the world only runs on one thing and one thing alone...Power. The powerful are the ones that call the shots, sweetie. Weaklings like you are the ones that dare to dream of aspirations that will never be."

"That's not true."

"Tell me something then. If your pretty pink princess is so good and worth throwing your lives in all this danger, how come she doesn't even try to ensure her safety or in the very least, the safety of her own people? As a wealthy royal, you'd think after the first kidnapping she'd in the very least set up some sort of defense system better than tiny mushrooms with pointy sticks."

"She..."

"Open your eyes, boy. Clearly, she's doing it on purpose. With each time Bowser attacks, it makes her look better by comparison. So she allows it to happen. Oh no, the big bad Bowser has taken the princess. He must be the bad guy. Frankly, how has no one called her out on this? Are all the Mushroom Kingdom citizens brain dead?"

Luigi glares, that part of him that is Mr. L beginning to stir.

"Don't listen to her, bro..."

Mario pats his brother's shoulder.

"She's just a dumb pirate. What does she know about anything?"

"More than you-a think, loser."

Wario speaks up.

"This world is bigger than just the Mushroom King and the Koopa Kingdom. Things here don't work out there."

"You-a guys are so small minded..."

Waluigi moves over to Syrup's side.

"Listen to the pretty lady. She's got a brain as gorgeous as her body.

Syrup chuckles but it's very dry.

"Okay, cutey, dial back the sweet talk. Now's not the time."

"What? I'm just agreeing with you-a. Though...Maybe later we can go out and get to know each other better?"

Wario slaps his palm to his face and Syrup proceeds to grab Waluigi by the neck, clearly not amused.

"So...you-a...don't want to date me?"

Syrup blinks a few times before cracking up.

"*laughs* Oh that is...You think I...*laughing* That is too good. I mean it's sad for you, but...*laughs then sighs* Let me put this in a way an idiot like you will understand."

She throws Waluigi and Wario knows better than to get involved with his rival when she's angry.

" _I'm not the damsel in distress. I'm not your girlfriend or the frightened princess. I'm not a little bird who needs your help to fly. Nope...I'm the bad guy!_ "

She moves over to Wario and he folds his arms while trying to remain detracted to the situation.

" _This big fella that you see. He and so many more have knelt before me. So I'm not your teammate or your partner in crime. What am I, handsome?_ "

Wario sighs

"She's the bad guy."

She smiles and kisses his cheek before shoving him down.

" _Oh, it's magic. To watch others panic. As I rob them blind. Oh, it's thrillin'. To be a villain. I destroy others hopes and then I watch them cry. *laughs* 'Cause I'm the bad guy!_ "

Waluigi feels like a fool and Wario wants nothing more than to punch this woman but is conflicted on if that's really okay to do or not. Syrup twirls teasingly, having fun and letting loose. Though none of them notice a rather stern looking Luigi getting loose from the metal head and starting to stealthily work of freeing his brother.

" _Oh, ain't it fantastic? I see something, I snatch it! And let me tell you why. I've always had a weakness. For manipulation and meanness. I crush all your hopes and then I watch you cry._ "

She takes Waluigi's hat and grinds her shoe into in with a grin, much to his wide-eyed shock.

" _See, I find this business rather fun. I don't want your assistance or your adulation. I'll take all of your beloved things and bid you bye bye! Why?_ Come on, guess!"

Waluigi looks over at Wario and the latter just nods his head.

"'Cause you're the bad guy?"

She smirks.

"Or, well, girl. But you get what I mean. *evil laughter*"

Her mockery over, she turns around to finish off her true targets. Only to end up on the receiving end of a very hard uppercut that knocks her out cold. The Wah-boys are taken by surprise, not only because someone beat them to the literal punch but the one to do said punch was wussy wuss boy Luigi. Luigi himself holds his brother over his shoulder while sporting a very intimidating look.

"Shut up, annoying sea cow."

Luigi then casts his dark gaze on the other baddies and they flinch.

"If you-a know what's good for you-a, you'll stay out of my way."

They make no effort to move as Luigi walks past and leaves the castle with his brother. With this, I guess, victory of the final castle, the Mario Brothers now are on the road to the final destination.

"Did that really just happen?"

"It did but I still can't believe it."

They look at the unconscious Syrup.

"What do we do about her?"

"I say...We blame everything on her."

"Agreed."

They get themselves together and dust off.

"Wanna go halves on an all you can eat buffet?"

"Sure. Just let me do one thing first."

Wario watches as Waluigi pulls out a marker and scribble on Syrup's face. She now has a mustache, beard, glasses, and her forehead reads "LOSER".

"Now we can go."

"Heh...Nice."

[Meanwhile: Outside Castle Seven]

"Mayday! PG Scout #123 to Base Command! Come in Base Command! Over!"

"PG Scout #123, this is Base Commando #456. What is the situation? Over."

"We have a breach! I repeat! We have a breach! The Mario Brothers have exited Castle Seven and entered the Kingdom! Over!"

"Are you certain that it's truly them? Over."

There is a scream before silence.

"PG Scout #123, what was that sound? Over."

There is no response.

"PG Scout #123, respond. Over."

Still nothing.

"PG Scout #123, respond! This is an order! Over."

The radio clicks on ominously.

"PG Scout #123, what is your situation? Over."

"...I don't-a know who you-a are. I don't-a care what you-a want. If you-a think I'm-a going to let any of you-a go without punishment, then think again. For I have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make-a me a nightmare for people like you-a. If you-a let the Princess go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you-a, I will not pursue you-a, but if you-a don't...I will look for you-a, I will find you-a, and I will kill you-a."

The radio goes quiet for a moment.

"Good luck trying, plumber-boy."

The declaration has been made. Alarms blare. Soldiers deployed. This is war and it will not end well.

* * *

 **Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.**  
 **If there are any questions, feel free to ask.**


	31. End game is now: the final battle

**Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 ****games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^ (So I've thought about where I'm placing this story in the grand scheme of the Mario timeline and I believe I've picked a good spot. I've decided that this story will take place before Mario+Rabbids and Odyssey, setting things up to correspond with both those games in a way that'll make sense...I hope.)**

* * *

The Koopa Kingdom. Dark Land. Whatever the name it goes by, it is a place few set foot in without a little tinge of fear in their hearts. But to those that call this land home, it is a place that if you treat it well it will do the same back to you. It is home to many people and many different backgrounds. Those that bow to the crown of their lord are taken care of and lead good lives. They fight tooth and claw to keep the peace they have. So when something/someone becomes an enemy of the Kingdom, well, it would be a calm day in hell if even a single resident decided to stay in bed when the call to arms was heard. So...on this very night...when the emergency alarms began to sound...all knew that this wasn't going to be a night that would allow for sweet dreams. This was a night no one would enjoy. Especially the royal Koopa family, who, sadly know what this means. This includes the concerned me. Bowser had been escorting back to Jr.'s room after we had a very personal talk. It's odd. After saying the things we did, I felt closer to him even if we talked about my leaving. Things were looking so well. Then we heard the faint sirens in the distance before the blaring sound grew louder in their warning.

"My King?"

I know something is wrong. Something is going to happen. But I don't know what I should do at this moment. I've never been in this situation before. I'm on alert and yet confused as to why. I end up taking hold of his arm because in the instinctual part of my brain he represents safety and in my heart I know it's right. He looks down at me and nudges me closer. His eyes hold a seriousness that I haven't seen before.

"They're coming."

It clicks in my head.

"The Mario Brothers?"

He nods and starts pulling me with him as he begins to sort of sprint down the halls. This sudden behavior only worries me more. I've never known this man for showing any sort of fear response and he isn't showing fear now. But that look on his face isn't as strong as I know it can be. He's putting on a brave face for my sake. I don't like it. And I really don't like this sense of urgency emanating off of him.

"Where are we going?"

He doesn't say a word.

"Bowser?"

Still nothing.

"Say something!"

"Lynsie...I need you to have faith in me."

"I do. But I need to know what's going on or I'm going to assume the worse is going down."

The hallway doesn't look like the way to Jr.'s room anymore. The air feels warmer. The walls look more fortified. I don't like this.

"What is this place?"

"I need to keep you safe."

"Huh?"

He opens a sturdy door and the next thing I know is I'm nearly hurled inside. Just as I'm regaining my balance from stumbling, the door shuts behind me and I hear it lock. But Bowser isn't inside with me.

"What the...?"

I pound on the door.

"Bowser! Open this door!"

"I can't do that, Lynsie."

"Can't do that? Dork! I know you have the freaking key!"

"I can't let you out because I know what you'll do. When those two 'heroes' show up, you'll confront them. You'll defend the family. I can't let you do that."

"Bowser! I will break this door down!"

"*sigh* You mean the world to me. Nothing would hurt me more than if something were to happen to you. In the very least, can you understand why I'm doing this?"

My rage against the door calms down a bit.

"And can you understand why I'm ticked off? I'm not one to stand by while some fools think they can walk in my home and mess with my loved ones."

"That's why you're staying put."

"Do you really think I'll stay here? Knowing that the children...that you...I won't stay here knowing you're all risking yourselves. And over her no less."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"I will get out."

"Even if you do, this will have bought me enough time to take care of the problem without you being put in danger."

"I can fight my own battles, Bowser. I'm not some weak little girl. I can take a hit and dish them out even harder. I will make them regret ever thinking they could step foot in this castle."

"...Forgive me, my spitfire."

"Bowser?"

I can hear him walk away and I lose it.

"Bowser! Bowser! Get your scaly butt back over here! Don't leave me! Don't you dare leave me here! Bowser! Do you hear me?! BOWSER!"

But no reply is heard. I roar in frustration and shout swears at the door for blocking me from getting out. My nails claw at the thick wood of the door, making it splinter into my skin. My teeth gnash in my annoyance. My feet kick as hard as they can, making a couple toes crack in the process. Yet to no avail. All my fit does is hurt me and get me even more riled up.

"Argh! This is crap! If he thinks I'm sticking around while he and the kids fight, then he's got another thing coming to him!"

Thus begins my isolation as I go through the 6 stages of emotional turmoil. Already I know the first stage really well...SHOCK & DENIAL. The shock part was kind of obvious and after a little bit old denial starts kicking in.

"He'll be back. He cares too much for me. It'll take less than five minutes for him to come back and tell me he's sorry. Then we can defend the castle together. Yeah...Any moment now."

Slowly as time progresses, the next stage begins taking over...ANGER.

"That unbelievable #%*&$! I am going to kick his #%*&$! I'll dye his hair blue and paint his shell purple! I'll paint his claws green and put him in a freaking tutu! *roar* OPEN THIS #%*&$ DOOR!"

Frustration gives way to rage and this is a time for the release of bottled up emotions. But anger isn't really my strongest point and it easily tappers into the next stage...BARGAINING.

"Hey! Anyone out there?! Please...Open this door! It's an emergency! Someone! Please! If you want money, I'll pay you! Just...For the love of the stars...Open this dang door...please..."

This, of course, moves us into the more emotionally painful stages as the castle rumbles...PAIN & GUILT.

"Why...Why is he doing this? I can help him. I can help the kids. They don't need to fight this alone. I can...*sniffle* I can be of use. Oh please...please...don't let anything happen to them. I won't forgive myself if something happens and I could've stopped it."

The sadness and despair take effect as we enter the most complex stage that goes by many names...DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS, etc.

"*mournful* Please...Don't do this to me...Not now...Not after all this. You can't make me go through life alone and uncared for, then show me love, only to take it away. You can't do that! It's not right! It's not fair! *cries* So, please...I vow on the Rainbow Road...If able to be released, I will do anything and everything in my power to keep them safe. I will offer my life for them! Do you hear me up there?! Can you hear my voice on Star Road, oh mighty Star Spirits?! Hear the wish that I make this night! I wish for the power to protect the ones that I love!"

In case that sounded like desperate nonsense...Star Road is the place where all wishes are turned into Wish Stars before being granted upon collision with the world. A person identified only as "a higher authority" rules unseen from somewhere in Star Haven. Star Haven is a Star-inhabited place out in space where Star Kids are raised to grant a person's wishes. The 7 Star Spirits (consisting of Eldstar, Mamar, Skolar, Muskular, Misstar, Klevar, and Kalmar) also form a council and use the Star Rod to determine which wishes get granted. This surprisingly has nothing to do with Rosalina or the star-like Lumas that she tends to with motherly care. Now, these Star Spirits tend to be very selective with whose wishes they grant. Only the pure ever know of their blessing. But sometimes... miracles can happen. In my darkest moment, feeling at my lowest, I hear a sound. A sound not of my own making. No. This sound comes from the door. Hoping like hell that this is real and not a cruel joke my senses have played on me, I attempt to open the door. There's a clank sound but the door remains locked.

"Oh, you son of a...!"

I slam my hands on the door in rekindling anger and the sound happens again. This time not only is it louder but also something happens. There's an eerie creaking before suddenly...The hinges give out and the door drops off the frame. Out of immense surprise, I poke it and it tips over to hit the hall floor with a resounding crash. It takes a moment to register this as being real. This is the good stage that brings about the end of all this...ACCEPTANCE & HOPE. Stepping out into the hall, this wave of gratefulness washes over me. I can hardly believe this is real. The Star Spirits normally ignore wishes made in selfishness and on my end, I thought my wish was pretty selfish. But I guess they see the good in my reason. That this wasn't just to let me out of a room. It's so I can get out and help my loved ones. And just in time too. The castle is starting to rumble at an increasing pace. This isn't good. I don't like it.

"Don't worry, sweeties. I'm on my way! As...As soon as I figure out the way back up there."

This might take some time.

[Meanwhile: with the Mario Brothers moments ago]

After making their way out of Castle Seven, Luigi took charge and was carving a path to Koopa Castle with little remorse to those that got in his way. Mario, who was plenty messed up from the previous Boss Fight, could only let his health slowly recover from his perch on his brother's shoulder as he watched the smart creatures flee from his glaring sibling. The braver, more duty-bound inhabitants, risk their lives to stop the intruding pair from proceeding any further into their lands...only to end up as coins that line the human's pocket. A sad fate indeed, to become little more than currency to someone else. Now there are means to restore these poor souls to their original selves, but there aren't many that know how to do this and two of those few aren't the Mario Brothers. Whether this also means Mr. L is unknown. And even if he does, it's doubtful that he rightly cares unless he sees some use of doing so. A clever and vindictive man, this Mr. L is. The only good he does is sheltering Luigi from the darker side of things. But this is a double edged sword as while Luigi won't remember these moments where Mr. L takes over, he will experience nightmares that vaguely resemble the things Mr. L has done. And judging by the level of violence displayed now, Luigi is going to have night terrors for the next few months.

Green flames burn a noticeable dotted line to Koopa Castle. Remnants of the fallen litter the way and are cast in an ethereal glow, adding the haunted forest's numbers in restless souls. So when the Green Thunder darkened the imposing castle's gated door with his shadow with the chaos framing his background, it came to little surprise that entry was not permitted. Yet this meant very little to Mr. L.

"They're not opening the gates."

"Gee, I wonder why. Probably has-a nothing to do-a with the burning hellscape over there."

"Cowards. I don't have time for this."

"You-a get scarier the longer you-a stay in control, you-a know that?"

"I prefer eccentric."

Mr. L puts Mario down and pulls out a black Ultra Hammer with a green L band in the center.

"What are you-a going to do-a with that?"

"Well, I'd ring the doorbell but this is more fun."

With such a weapon in his hands, all it takes is a few solid whacks and the gate comes down in pieces.

"Here's...Luigi! Hahahaha!"

The menacing laugh unnerves Mario and he ends up flinching when his brother looks his way.

"Hey...You able to walk yet?"

It took Mario a moment to register the question.

"Uh...I think so? Maybe in a minute or two."

Mr. L sighs.

"Okay...You wait here then."

"W-What?"

"I don't need you slowing me down. Besides, who would mess with you? Heh, there's no one here. And anyone left is too busy peeing themselves to come out of hiding."

"B-But..."

"Relax. I'll be back with Peach faster than mom expected us to be home for supper."

Mr. L enters the castle and Mario tries to force himself up, stumbling to catch him.

"Wait! You-a can't go in there! It's too dangerous! Luigi!"

The castle is soon to know more pain then it has ever known.

[Meanwhile: with Bowser and the children]

I did it for her own good. She would only be in danger if I allowed her to be in all this. I can't do that. I won't lose her. Not to them. Not to those damn plumbers. Not over that woman. I'd never forgive myself if that happened. I had to do it. This is more than a fight for that dumb Princess. It's a fight for what matters most. And I won't lose. I refuse to. This night...this is the night I will stand the victor.

"Papa? Where is Mama? She wasn't in my room."

Surprisingly, Roy didn't voice out to this. Of course, Bowser knew why, sort of. Roy did something that made Lynsie ran yet he didn't know what that was. He felt it wasn't best to ask too much when he was with her.

"She's in a safe place. I made sure of it."

"Really?"

"I have her tucked away in the lower sanctum. It's more secure there. She'll be fine while we take care of our little pest problem."

A loud crash resonates the foundation and Kamek comes zooming in.

"My Lord! The gate has been breached! They've gotten inside the castle!"

Bowser growls. He was hoping he had more time than this. This isn't good.

"Okay, kids. Remember the plan. Let's take these fools down!"

"Yeah!"

"Every Koopa to your battle stations!"

"Yeah!"

The kids stampede to their posts and Bowser motions Kamek to follow him.

"What's the damage so far?"

"My Lord, from what reports say, Luigi is the one causing the destruction."

That struck the king oddly.

"Green 'Stache?"

"Yes, my Lord. He is leaving much chaos in his wake. The reports from the front line say that they have yet to come up with a number for the amount of the missing."

Bowser's eyes narrow.

"So he finally snapped. I was dreading this..."

"Shall I recall the children for a tactical retreat?"

"Retreat?"

This made the King snarl with embers leaking from his jaws.

"NEVER! This is MY castle! This is MY Kingdom! These are MY people! I will not cower like a worm and run with my tail tucked away from Green 'Stache! If that scrawny beanpole wants a fight, then he's going to be in for a world of hurt! Koopas do not run away! We stand and fight! Even if it means our very lives! We move towards the danger, not away from it!"

"Yes, sire. Of course. I...I was merely s-suggesting..."

Bowser sighs.

"I know. But even if I wanted to, I can't leave. You know that. A King must go down with his castle. The kids know this too. They know I'd never run from a fight and they stay to be with me. Adding even more reason for me to stay is knowing I have to protect them. We can not leave this castle, Kamek. But I'm not forcing you to if you think you..."

"I'm not abandoning you, son."

Of course, Kamek isn't Bowser's real father. But when you raise a child for the better portion of your life and stick with them long after they too have made a family of their own, you kind of are blood kin even if you aren't. And Kamek was one who only busts out the "son" title in the most realest of moments. Hearing this made Bowser smile.

"Glad to know you'll stand with me as the world burns around us."

"I'd have it no other way."

A resounding crash shakes the castle and the sound of wailing cries can be heard from the ground floor.

"We have uninvited guests, my Lord. Shall we give them a proper Koopa welcoming?"

Kamek says calmly but with the smirk of a wicked wizard up to no good. Bowsers grins evilly.

"Yes. Let's give them a WARM welcome with FIRE and BRIMSTONE!"

Bowser laughs and rushes off to his area. The upcoming fight is going to be battle for the ages.

[High above Castle Koopa]

The sky, clouded with thick plumes of volcanic smoke, swirl and open a viewing window to those on high. The Star Spirits and one of greater power have seen this same scene play out before. Time and time again. But something is different. This is playing out differently. Stronger conviction. Stronger emotion. Stronger determination. This was no simple fight going on. This was war. And all can feel it.

 _{ A warning to the people, the good and the evil. This is war. }_

They cast their sight deeper in the castle. Seeing the players as they cast their roles.

 _{ To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr, the victim. This is war! }_

Mario. Lynsie. Bowser. Luigi. The cast is set. The stage is ready. Now to see how this goes on.

 _{ It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie. And the moment to live and the moment to die. The moment to fight, the moment to fight. To fight, to fight, to fight...! To the right to the left. We will fight to the death. To the edge of the earth. It's a brave new world from the last to the first. To the right, to the left. We will fight to the death. To the edge of the earth. It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world! }_

"Lord?"

[Hmmm?]

"Are you sure we are doing the right thing by not intervening?"

[We have done all that we were needed to do. We are not to pick sides. Good or Evil, all living things are equal and as such, they are free to choose what path of fate they tread. You are only to watch.]

"But...What about that wish that was granted?"

[As I said...YOU are only to watch. This at least levels the playing field.]

The Mario Brothers make their way deeper into the castle and enter the chamber of the Koopalings.

 _{ A warning to the prophet, the liar, the honest. This is war. To the leader, the pariah, the victor, the messiah. This is war! }_

Iggy. Wendy. Lemmy. Roy. Morton. Ludwig. Larry. The children are ready, armed to the teeth to defend their home and family. They may be young but these kids are far from new to battle. Mario is in no shape to fight, at least, not yet or by the looks of it, is unwilling. Luigi/Mr. L, on the other hand, cracks his knuckles of flame and rushes in relentless delight.

 _{ It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie. And the moment to live and the moment to die. The moment to fight, the moment to fight. To fight, to fight, to fight...! To the right, to the left. We will fight to the death. To the edge of the earth. It's a brave new world from the last to the first. To the right, to the left. We will fight to the death. To the edge of the earth. It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world, it's a brave new world! }_

As the conflict ensues in one place, so does the panic of another soul elsewhere. Running through halls and staggering up stairwells in a hurry, Lynsie tries to make sense of the turmoil happening to the castle. Getting small bits of information from fleeing minions to get her going in the right direction. The only thing going through her mind is the same repeating sentence. "I hope I'm not too late!".

The stone trembles, the fire burns, the sky storms in strikes of lightning. So much chaos. So much craziness. So much so, that when it all suddenly stops, that is when she really begins to worry about it. The faint trail of coins and empty shells doesn't help either. A distant laugh catches her ears and she follows the haunting sound. The pit in her gut hurting the further she goes. Only once she finds a chamber room in shambles, the children beaten and scattered among the debris, that is when her heart sinks before shattering to bits. The sound that escapes her, a haunting unworldly cry to say the least.

 _{ I do believe in the light, raise your hands up to the sky. The fight is done, the war is won, lift your hands towards the sun. Towards the sun...it's the moment of truth and the moment to lie. It's the moment to live and the moment to die, the moment to fight...Towards the sun...Towards the sun...it's the moment of truth and the moment to lie. It's the moment to live and the moment to die, the moment to fight...The war is won...to fight, to fight, to fight, to fight...! }_

Something happens at that moment. A darkness awakens in the soul of light and beast long thought eternal in slumber awakens. The sounds of battle once more are picked up not too far ahead. With a rabid gleam in her eyes, the caretaker bolts like a bat out of the Underwhere on the hunt for the one responsible for this assault on her family. Further in, the Mario Brothers face the Koopa Prince. Mario is still on the sidelines and trying to reason with his brother, who for lack of better words, has lost his control over the lust of battle. Jr. on his end has fared well so far, mostly in part to his size and flying mobility by use of his Clown Car. It also helps he's the only target in this area. That was the problem the other seven had. Grouped together so tightly, their numbers worked with them and against them. Yet even with such advantages on his side, including the use of weaponry, it doesn't mean Jr. is invulnerable. Patterns are made and learned. Flaws are exploited. Damage is taken. The machine brakes. Still, the child fights on. But that doesn't last long. Mr. L has no remorse. Not even for kids.

"Luigi, please! This is too much! He's just a kid!"

Mario pleads, but Mr. L ignores him. Continuing to pummel Jr. in the face until the boy has no will left to keep going.

"You know something, Mario...Nabbit was right. The reason we keep doing this over and over is that we never finish what we start."

Mario is made confused as Mr. L holds the bloodied boy up by the rim of his shell.

"What are you-a saying?"

"What I'm saying is, ending this cycle is so easy. All we have to do is..."

He moves the boy to dangle over the lava flowing just under them.

"Make sure they really are done when beaten."

Mario freaks.

"Are you-a nuts! You-a can't just...!"

"Think about it! Bowser won't come for Peach if he's too busy grieving over a loss."

"You're insane!"

"This is how you end things! If you cut the head off a Tryclyde another will grow back in its place. And that's what we've been doing. Cutting off heads and letting them grow back. This ends it. Burning the neck so nothing comes back. And what better way to take out a King than by removing his hire? This will show him that the Mushroom Kingdom is to be taken lightly no longer."

Jr. weakly grabs Luigi's wrist.

"Awww...Look at that, Mario. The brat still has some fight in him."

"*meek* You...you're a bad man..."

"Heh...You have no idea."

Mr. L is ready to drop the boy when the sound of Mario getting into a fighting stance gets his attention.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I won't let you-a do this."

"Really? You're going to save this kid now?"

"I don't-a care about these Koopa! I'm not-a going to let you-a corrupt my brother!"

Mr. L snickers.

"Such moral high ground you have there, Mr. NothingelsemattersexecptwhatIcareabout. It's a wonder how anyone cares about you."

"Shut up! I don't-a care if you-a are part of my brother. I'm not-a afraid to kick your butt."

"Oh? Well, now...How can I pass on such an inviting offer? I've been waiting for the chance to fight you again."

The moment Mr. L turns his head, Jr. takes the advantage and blasts him in the face with all the fire his little body had energy left for. This startles Mr. L, causing him to throw the young Prince towards the exit ahead as he tries to put the fire out on his lip. There are many swears uttered and even more when the Green Machine realizes his mustache had been singed in half.

"You...Now you're going to get it!"

He stomps over to the stuck on his back Koopa youth with the aim of brutally ending this boy's life.

"*weak* Mama..."

"Mama ain't going to save you, brat. Not from me, that's for dang sure."

"*louder* Mama...!"

Mr. L just laughs mockingly and Mario begins powering up a ball of flame. He has to stop this madness. He's responsible for his brother. But before anything happens, a harsh snarl is heard.

 _{ To the right, to the left. We will fight to the death. To the edge of the earth. It's a brave new world from the last to the first. To the right, to the left. We will fight to the death. To the edge of the earth. It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world, it's a brave new world...! A brave new world...! The war is won...! The war is won...! A brave new world...! }_

"Mama!"

Mr. L is confused.

"Why do you keeping saying that? You don't even have a mother."

Eyes turn to face the entrance of the room to see the very fuming and heavily snarling Lynsie.

"*darkly* Get away from my boy, you soon to be dead piece of #%*&$!"

For a second, Mario thought this girl was Bowser due to the fire she was spitting. Jr. is happy to see her. Mr. L on the other hand...

"Little girl...You don't want any part of this."

She glares through his soul and he flinches.

"Mario..."

The man in red isn't sure if he should speak to this angry woman but being silent might make it worse.

"Y-Yes?"

"Get out of my house."

That was a command, a warning, and so much more all wrapped into one sentence. But as much as his legs wanted to make him flee, he knew he couldn't leave Luigi or Peach here.

"I'm not-a leaving without my brother."

Probably a smart move not to mention Peach at this moment. Lynsie only growls at him but understands his reason.

"Fine...You can have him back...I just make no guarantees he'll stay in one piece."

"Hehehe...How cute. Does the little girl really think she can..."

He doesn't get to finish his mockery as she rushes up and grabs him by the face, covering his mouth.

"Little boy, you have no idea the furry you have unleashed in me. But don't worry. You will learn all too soon just how dangerous this 'little girl' really is."

She tosses him aside back towards Mario and gives her attention to the hurt boy she cares for. Kneeling down and scooping him into her arms.

"Mama..."

"Shhh...I got you, sweetie. It's going to be okay. I'm so sorry. I tried to get here as fast as I could. Mama is so sorry. *sniffles*"

She nuzzles apologetically into his cheek and he pulls on her ear.

"Sweetie?"

"Mama...Kick his butt."

His tiny voice made her want to cry. But now wasn't the time for tears. Now was the time for revenge.

"For you, sweetie...I'm going to destroy him."

Jr. chuckles a little and she carries him to the exit.

"Mama will take care of this. Mama will keep you safe. Have faith in me, sweetie. I need you to."

"Okay, Mama."

"Tell your father not to worry. I'll handle it from here."

"Be careful, Mama."

"I will."

She opens the door and lets the boy down, allowing him to wobble through to get to his true parent on the other side. Now feeling a bit more secure in separating the kids from the threat, Lynsie faces Mr. L with a twisted grin.

"Okay, little boy. You have my attention now. Are you ready to play? Because my level of difficulty is game breaking."

Mr. L smirks.

"Finally. Someone worthy of me."

Mr. L takes a step towards her and Mario grabs his arm.

"Luigi, stop! Enough is enough already."

"Why are you still here? Instead of wasting time bothering me, you could've gone ahead and taken Peach back by now."

"Luigi..."

"I am not Luigi, you fat stupid #%*&$!"

"So..."

Her voice gets to them.

"Mr. L makes his return? Now all of this makes more sense."

"Nice to hear someone knows my name."

"Yeah. I'll be sure to write it on your tombstone along with the lines 'was a freaking moron' and 'got what he deserved'."

"Strong words. But are you all bark and no bite?"

"Come closer and find out."

"Heh...I like you."

"You won't very soon."

"Then enough talk then. Time to have some real fun. Maybe you'll entertain me better than these kids."

Her eyes widen and burn with hate.

"Oh, what's wrong? Did I strike a nerve?"

"...*sigh* I almost feel bad for what I'm about to do. Because I really think Luigi is a great guy. But that remark...That was the final nail in your coffin, dead man."

"Bring it on, little girl."

"Gladly."

Letting loose a threatening roar, she charges towards him as he in turns races to her. Mario watches on as they clash. After seeing the damage his brother can do, he was surprised that this woman was matching him blow for blow. If he made a punch, she would catch or block it. If he made a kick, she would catch or block it. If he tried to use his fire, she would dodge or deflect it with her shell. Honestly, it had Mario thinking as to why Bowser never had her fight them before. Even if so far she's been on the defensive, she was still doing better than his brother. Yet this was all a strategy and he knew it. Probably having seen all the carnage Luigi has done, she must know he hasn't had a moment to pause and recharge his figurative batteries. It doesn't matter how strong you are or how mighty your resolve is. If you use up all your energy and not take a break, then you are going to crash. Mr. L knows this.

"Is this all you have, little boy? Where is the powerhouse that's been messing up my home?"

"Hold still and I'll show you how much of a powerhouse I am!"

"Nah. That sounds dumb."

"Argh!"

In his frustration, Mr. L rams his head down and bashes her nose. Sending her reeling back in a series whimpers and snapping yelps. Using this moment, Mr. L gains his second win and begins his onslaught. Gender means nothing to Mr. L. Age means nothing to Mr. L. All that does matter to Mr. L is coming out on top as the winner. Punches. Kicks. Whacks and all sorts of bashes. Mr. L is relentless.

[Meanwhile: with Bowser]

The Koopa King waited on pins and needles. The suspense of knowing the enemy is so close was eating at him and he dug his claws into the pillars beside him. Any minute now, those two annoying menaces will come in and fight him. Any minute now, they will fight and even more damage will be made. Any minute now, someone will be leaving this skirmish with Peach. The only thing that was killing him now was the waiting. Kamek too was on edge, magic seeping from his wand in anticipation. Soon, all too soon, they will be coming through that door and challenging them. The Mario Brothers are whom they were expecting...So imagine the looks on their faces when they saw Jr. limping into the room.

"Jr.!"

Bowser rushes to his son as the boy stumbles to all fours.

"Jr.! Jr., what happened? Are you alright? Kamek, help my boy!"

As told, Kamek begins using healing spells to aid the Price and restore his health.

"Papa...I did my best..."

"I know you did, son. Don't beat yourself over this."

"Luigi...He's really mean."

The King scowls.

"He defeated the Koopalings too, right?"

Jr. nods.

"Then they'll be here soon."

Jr. shakes his head and Bowser is puzzled.

"What do you mean, no?"

"Don't be mad at her..."

That got his attention big time.

"Mama said not to worry."

"She got out?!"

"Mama saved me. She's fighting that bad man."

Panic sends his nerves into overdrive but he finds himself conflicted. He wants to run after her yet he can't just leave his son like this. That's when Kamek makes the choice for him.

"My Lord, I'll tend to the boy."

"Are you sure?"

Kamek nods.

"Go. Teach them this treatment is not to go unpunished."

Bowser hesitates and looks at Jr. still in his arms. The boy looks up at his father with pleading eyes.

"Protect Mama. Please, Papa."

Little else was needed to be said after that. Bowser hands over Jr. to Kamek and huffs through his nose.

"Kamek...Take the kids to the other castle and leave Peach here. If things get bad, at least she'll go down with this place."

Kamek looks concerned but then nods in understanding. However, Jr. does not like how this sounds.

"Understood, sire. I will send out the search party upon our arrival."

"No...! We can't leave Papa and Mama! We can't!"

"Jr..."

Bowser pets his son's head.

"Don't count your old man out just yet. These two can't take me and her on at the same time. You have faith in us, don't you son?"

The boy pouts but nods his head.

"Just...Be safe."

Bowser smiles softly.

"I will."

With that, Bowser takes a deep breath before rushing out to the past chamber. The only thing going through his mind was a single sentence that kept repeating loudly. "Please...I hope I'm not too late!".

[Meanwhile: with the humans]

Blood splattering with each powerful blow. And the entire time, all Mario does is watch uncomfortably. On the one hand, this is his brother and he has to do something to stop him before things escalate to the point of no return. And on the other hand, seeing Luigi be like this scares the living shit out of him. So when the moment came and Luigi/Mr. L now was threatening to do the same to her that he was going to do to Jr. Koopa, well...Mario had a difficult choice to make and not a whole lot of time to make it in.

"*panting* Yeah...Not so cocky now...Huh, little girl?"

"*panting* Go...#%*&$...yourself..."

He growls before slamming her down on her back with enough force to not only impale her shell's spikes into the floor but then shatter it all together and exposing the woman within to further damage.

"Stupid little girl! Do you like making me mad?"

She both groans in pain and laughs smugly.

"What's so funny?!"

"Hehe...*coughs* You're a joke."

"What?!"

Weakly she rolls off the jagged shell remnants and attempts standing.

"You...You think this means anything? That this makes you strong or cool? All this does is show how pathetic you are. *sputters blood*"

Mr. L scoffs.

"Says the girl barely standing."

"The same can be said about you. Don't think I don't notice you're not putting full weight on that leg."

"Heh, clever girl."

"Tell me something...Are you happy?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if you're happy. Did any of this make you happy?"

"Uh...No. Not really."

"Then why...Why are you doing any of this? What's the point?"

That seems to stun the man. He hadn't really thought about it. Why was he being so brutal? This quandary is the opportunity Lynsie was looking for and like anyone that doesn't want to be on the receiving end of a beat down, she used this window to her gain. While he was mentally stunned, she lunges at him and pins him under her painful hits.

"You sack of trash! You come into my home! Beat on my family! Pummel me! And you don't even have a reason behind your violence?! I will end you!"

Rage fueled her weak body. Even though every hit hurt her back, the thin skin ripping from her knuckles, she bit her tongue and kept going. He had to feel it. He must know the pain. The same pain he caused he must feel but even stronger. She won't kill him. That would be nice. And she wasn't that at this moment. He was going to have the sense beaten into him. But he's passing out and she didn't like it.

"Hey, stay awake little boy! I want you to stay alive! I want you to stay alive while I torture you! I want you to feel the pain..."

"Lynsie?"

She is cut off by Bowser's sudden voice. She looks behind to see the King of the Koopa with a worried but relieved expression on his face. He only takes a smallest of steps before horror takes him.

"Look out!"

He rushes to her as she registers his warning, looking back forward she gets an eye full of burning red hot fire that causes her to flail violently off Luigi.

"Hands off my brother!"

Mario finally makes his choice and it only took him an eternity to do so. Bowser blasts Mario in retaliation but he avoids the hit. Fire flies back and forth above the two bodies on the floor. Mr. L/Luigi eventually succumbs to the call of unconsciousness and hopefully returns to normal by the time he wakes up. Lynsie, however, still in pain, tries to retreat to Bowser's side...only due to blindness from fire, she ends up slipping over the edge of the floor, just barely able to maintain a one-handed grip preventing her fall into certain death. Bowser ceases his attacks to help her and gets bombarded with ball after ball of fire. Not like they hurt, but damn they stung in a very annoying way.

"Knock it off!"

"I will when you're in that lava!"

"Bowser...I'm slipping!"

Her scared voice was his sole focus and he took the hits to reach her. And just in time too. Her hand's strength gives out and he manages to catch it before she went too far down.

"Bowser...I can't see..."

"It's okay, Lynsie. I've got you. I'm not letting you go."

"Are the kids okay?"

"Kamek's got them. He's taking the kids away from all this."

She smiles.

"Thank the stars, there is some good news."

He found her ability to smile even during all this endearing and cute. But all the sweetness dies in an instant for the both of them at the sudden alerting sound of a certain power-up being activated.

"Please don't tell me I hear what I think I hear."

"I really want to tell you it wasn't. I really do."

Mario had been saving this one for a long time...The Super Star. Super Stars make the user invincible. The user becomes temporarily invulnerable to all damage, being able to defeat anything, except to hazards that would normally be fatal regardless of power-ups (lava, pits, getting crushed, etc). Most projectiles or enemies that come into contact with the user of the Star while it is activated are destroyed, damaged, or knocked far away. The Star also increases the speed of the user substantially. So when the flare of rainbow color engulfed Mario, Bowser knew what was coming next. He had no time to react unless he were to let her go and he wasn't going to even entertain such a thought. It all happened so fast. In the blink of an eye, Mario had sprinted forth, leap over his brother, tackled Bowser, and was on his way to the next chamber while the pair are sent hurtling to the pit below.

"Bowser...I'm scared."

"I know. But I promise I won't let you go."

"*sniffling* I love you."

He holds her tightly to him.

"I love you too, Lynsie."

Like a cannonball into the water, they hit the lava with a humongous splash and are completely submerged in seconds once the surface goes placid. The only evidence of them are some bubbles that soon end.

[Meanwhile: with Mario]

He had made this trip before, the way is practically burned into his memory like a childhood lullaby. Without Bowser, nothing blocked the way for him to reach the holding room where the Princess awaits. Up the ascending stairs, into the lofty tower on high, that is where he finds her. Easily dispatching the guards in his armored state and busting the door in one quick move, he finds her startled from her slumber. Peach on her part had been sleeping through the entire event, what with this being night time. She was completely unaware of the goings on, the death caused, and untold mental anguish that was all brought about just to rescue her. She merely yawned and greeted him as she always did after this.

"Oh, Mario. I knew I could count on you, as always. It can't have been easy to make it here. You truly are my hero! Let's go home and I'll bake you a special cake as a reward for such bravery."

Mario had no words after all the stuff he's been through in the last hour alone. He merely took her by the hand and took his time in escorting her safely out of the ruined castle, of course picking up Luigi along the way. But that was that. The hero of the Mushroom Kingdom had once more saved the day. The Princess was back in her own lands. The Brothers back home and tending to whatever it is that they do when not saving damsels in distress. And all on their end of the story turned out just peachy.

But there are always two sides to every story. And this was no different. As the curtain fell on the stage for those of the Mushroom Kingdom, there was still an audience watching over Castle Koopa and felt wronged by the ending of such players.

"This...This is so wrong."

"Such pain..."

"Such darkness..."

"Surely they can't be so broken. ...Right?"

"And what of Bowser and Lynsie?"

"Yeah. They can't be dead...Can they?"

"Likely Bowser still lives. It's not the first lava dip he's gotten. But the girl..."

"Lord? Is this truly the will of fate for these poor souls?"

"Truly things can't end so cruelly."

[I am many things. And even I will admit to not being the best in my position. But if there is one thing I am not, that is cruel. I think...just this once...We can do more than simply watch.]

Given the okay, the Star Spirits begin to swirl and focus their power into a rain of shooting Star Bits. The shiny colorful rocks litter the sky, each holding small amounts of power, and fall over the places these certain players now were. Larger groupings end up hitting Castle Koopa in the hopes of making it into the depths where the fallen now rest. Now unlike normal Star Bits, these were healing one of divine intervention. Coins of the dead reformed into their past life. Wounds were healed. Damage was undone. And for one sad King, truly a gift from above that was given to put his pitiful soul at ease.

For Bowser, lava is not as damaging as it used to be. Once, the magma was as harsh on him as it would be to any other poor victim it touched. But thanks to multiple dips and some strong magic, he was pretty much immune to the stuff. The human woman he loved, however, she wasn't so lucky. The pain she had to have felt in those moments where she was still alive was utter torment. The burning was down to the bone even while her flesh was still there. The only good he took from it was that he couldn't hear her screams. It felt like time stood still as he slowly felt the life leave her. But he couldn't leave that liquid heat. If he moved, he'd risk losing what little bits remained. And he wasn't about to leave her. Not even in death, not after all she did for him and his family. She at least deserved a proper ceremony.

But then...Things began to fall into the pool with him. At first, it's about one or two. But as time went on, more and more plops hit the lava at even a faster rate. The small ones dissolve rapidly in the heat. But the larger ones manage to sink deep enough to reach even him. He had seen these strange bits before. They aren't commonplace that's for sure, only showing up on the world every hundred years on the eve of the Star Festival. These larger bits take their time to melt around him and at first, he isn't sure that these things were of any good, after all, they were making motions that could cause her remains to shift away from him. Yet as the bits came into contact with the deceased girl, more of her remains began to regenerate. He couldn't believe his eyes. Surely this was trick being played on him by the intense heat. Yet the more he watched, the more of her was coming back, and the more of her that came back, the more he knew it was time to get the both of them out of the lava.

The swim was the easy part. The harder part was climbing the walls to get up onto real flooring, all while holding on to her small growing form. Though once that was said and done, he carried her all the way to Peach's tower. It was the closest vantage point for optimum bit acquisition. Once in the room of blinding pink he blasts a hole in the ceiling with a large fireball and lays her down on the glow of the moon. He watches as more and more bits fall into the room, absorbing into her upon contact with the reforming lump of flesh. He felt so weak in this moment, as well as the moments that lead to all this. This was what he was trying to prevent from happening. He was trying to keep her from getting hurt. And even when he tried, she still ended up dying, and in his arms no less. That was not how he wanted to hear her admit her love to him. To say it knowing it would be her final words. He hated himself for that. He fell to his knees and cried into his hands. He let her down. He let himself down. He dragged her into all this and she suffered for it. Even if by some chance she is revived and remembers him, he had no doubt she would deny not only his love but also wish to be as far away from him as possible.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the lump of flesh gained a more recognizable shape. Limbs sprouted. Digits split out. Hair grew long. Features and curves took on detail. The only thing not coming back in her resurrection was her clothes, as the non-organic matter wasn't part of her and was completely destroyed, so by the time she began to regain consciousness she was already shivering from the cool night air.

"Huh...The Overthere looks a lot like home."

Her voice puts an end to his crying and upon seeing her starts his blushing.

"Bowser? Wait...Didn't I die? That did happen...Right?"

His blushing continued and it took her a moment to realize why. She immediately dives onto the bed and wraps herself in the sheets.

"Oh my gosh! You are such a pervert!"

That snaps him out of it.

"I...I wasn't trying...I am not a pervert!"

Her snickering only makes him blush more.

"Yep. I'm definitely alive. Not even heaven could recreate your dorkiness."

He looks at her a tad stunned, which only makes her look at him funny.

"What's with that look? Aren't you happy to see me?"

He wanted to move. To get up and embrace her. But he couldn't make his body listen. She got up instead.

"At least let me know how long it was? Minutes? Hours? I doubt days because, as creepy as this sounds, these sheets are still slightly warm. *gross shudders*"

His inability to respond to her was beginning to mess with her and she moved closer to him till she was within arms reach.

"Come on. Tell me what's wrong. Are you upset that I left the room?"

Suddenly his hands sprung out and pulled her the rest of the way to him, allowing his face to rest against her chest.

"Bowser?"

"Can you forgive me?"

That had her confused.

"For what?"

His words choke his throat even before they come out.

"For failing. Failing to keep you safe. Failing my kids. Failing my kingdom. Failing as a man. Failing..."

"Oh geez, can you be any more depressing?"

"B-But..."

Her arms hug his head.

"You are being too hard on yourself. You are a man that tries super hard on things that are super hard to do. You are a great man. A fantastic King. An amazing father. And as for protecting me...I'm the one that failed there. I left the safety room. I don't hold you to any fault with what happened. Besides, how can I be mad when you kept your promise? You didn't let me go...Even when there was nothing left to hold on to."

His grip on her tightens.

"Why are you so good to me?"

"Because I care about you, you big dork."

He nuzzles into her and she strokes the back of his head.

"Please...Let this be real. I need you in my life. I need my spitfire."

"Funny. I was going to say the same about you, my King."

Words alone did not secure him enough that this was indeed reality. He needed more. He tilted his head up as he pulled her down and met her lips with his own. The feelings they shared for each other, every bit of it could be felt in that tender moment. They did not part for the longest time until air was needed. And even then they stayed close.

"I love you, Lynsie."

She smiles at this imposing man that is her equal now. Much has happened in her life since meeting this man. Never was there a dull moment. She had come to care for him and his family as if they were her own. They were her world. She wasn't complete without them. She would and has given her life for them. And as odd as it may seem, in that time where she was gone from this earthly realm, she had come to understand her heart. Frankly, there wasn't much else better to do in the timeless eternity of being dead. So when he kissed her and uttered those words, she knew just what she wanted to say.

"I love you too, Bowser."

He smiled lovingly and purred in content. It would be a day or two till Kamek's search party would arrive to scout for signs of survivors. In the least, that gave him some time to enjoy the alone time with his beloved. They would talk, laugh, get to know one another better than before without any distraction. Together, they come up with a way to break it to Roy that his courtship of her was over. That might be easier to do due to what happened between them, but still, heartbreak is never easy to go through. And they weren't going to flaunt this relationship either. Things would still be taken slowly as to feel comfortable and let the children adjust to this new public dynamic. Still, one thing remained unchanged when all the talking was done. Princess Peach was still a target of Bowser's plan to take the Mushroom Kingdom. And he still intended on his plot to humiliate her by way of marriage. Some things never change. Lynsie didn't like this one bit. But Bowser pleaded his case and made her a deal. She had free rein over the entire scheme. Everything was up to her. It didn't matter what, if she said a certain thing was needed, then he was to meet that demand. Yet for his part, he would be allowed to go through with the wedding one last time. If this attempt failed, that was it, no more wedding plots and any further plans to go for Peach or her Kingdom would be done in less romantic fashion. Lynsie agreed to these terms and without missing a beat already had ideas for the most fabulous weeding the world has ever seen. For the food, this plan would require finest. The most delectable of dishes, Stupendous Stew, would be the main meal and served with glasses of Sparkle Water, as it is said to bring good fortune, happiness, and even romance to those who drink it. Of course, every wedding needs a cake and nothing meets high standers like the massive Frost-Frosted Cake. Next is the stuff the bride needs and what's a bride without flowers? But not just any flowers, only the Soirée Bouquet will do for this plan. As for the dress, the Lochlady Dress, a strapless bouffant design wedding dress, would be perfect. A simple veil won't do either, but a Tiara fit for a Queen is just right for the job. Lastly, but most important of all, is the ring and she chooses the Binding Band, a giant jeweled ring artifact. Clearly, she was picking things all over the world just to frustrate him into giving up this silly idea before he got it started. But if one thing is true it's this, Koopas don't give up when challenged. And this was going to be one hell of a challenge. One he would have fun doing with her. But for now, that can wait. Right now all that mattered was just being with each other and being grateful that they are able to be together at all.

The Star Bit rain subsides and sky returns to normal, signaling the fall of another story's curtain. Oh, what wonders await these characters as they embark on even more adventures in the coming future. Paths will surely cross again. But will things be as dark as this night was? Who is to say. Only time will tell on how these new stories will play out. One thing is for sure, it will be a grand odyssey indeed.

* * *

 **And thus the story ends. I thank you all for coming along on this crazy ride that may or may not have made sense. I'm also sorry this chapter took so long to be posted. Real life stuff consumed me for the better part of three weeks. Thankfully it only took three days to make this. The hardest part in this whole thing was the Lynsie/Luigi fight. I had so many ideas for that, ranging from weird mystical shadow beast fighting to a loop of Lynsie killing Luigi and forcing him to go through all his extra lives. Even the Lynsie death idea was different in concept at the start. At first, Jr. was to fall in with her. Then the idea of Kamek swooping in with a magic spell to keep her alive popped up and sort of Dry Human her. Then the possibility of Bowser using magic to protect her in the lava or hiding her in his shell came to me, but I scraped all that while writing it out. A lot has come and gone in the making of this story and for those still with questions, hit me up any time, I'm more than happy to share my secrets. So, yeah, this ends and picks up in Odyssey according to my little head cannon. And I can already hear you typing that you can't wait for the continuation and show of how Lynsie was aiding the fight on this crazy world tour. Well...The thing is...I'm not really all that interested at the moment to make such a sequel. Maybe in the future, but not now. I want to give this time, let it be enjoyed. Then, when I'm less mentally fried, I'll come back and see what magic I can work there. I also know I've left a lot of stuff open and certain characters are cast in the "where are they now" light. Until I get back to this, let's just say they went back home and are having a nice long rest. I know, that's cheap, but I can't think of anything better after being up thirty hours to write this. Thus I leave you lovely reader for now and I hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have had making it. Now if you'll excuse, I really need to get some sleep before I end up passing out in this chair and one of the dogs takes advantage of my available lap to then fart on me for god knows how long. Love you all. Stay awesome. Bye-bye. ^_^**


End file.
